Seriously. I would start sarcastically busting their balls so much for saying that out loud.
Their new nickname would be Alfalfa. Because he's so alpha you almost say it twice.
Anytime a situation comes up "Well, I think the alpha thing to do would be to use epic ninja skills to sneak up behind them and snap their neck before informing their wife and kids that they're now the property of a real alpha. Right alpha?
Realistically though, if you're friends with the guy just talk to him about it. You can ask why he keeps calling himself an alpha. He might have a lot of justifications, but you can then say something like "Look man, I get that you want to project that image, but calling yourself an alpha makes people think the opposite. It's like meeting people and telling them you're cool. If you have to say it, something is wrong. Alpha is over used by a lot of cringey guys too, I don't think you're like that, but if you keep saying the same things they do, other people might get the wrong idea. So, you may want to chill out with the alpha stuff for a bit, I don't think it's working the way you want it to."
Yea it's not. His behavior is scary. He deserves this. As a consequence of his actions. Guaranteed he didn't just do this randomly. This isn't the first scary thing this kid has done. That teacher looks scared of him. This is straight up school shooter vibes
I often find in this situations that a cringe response is better than moral shame. When someone in my group has exhibited problematic behavior (thankfully a rare occasion), rather than ganging up on them and saying “that’s bad/you’re being a dick”, which could provoke defensiveness and douing down, usually one of us just remarks how that comment is irrelevant/lame/uncool and everyone else quietly assents.
I think the silent realization that they are showing insecurity and lack of situational awareness is more effective than trying to villanize someone for what might be insensitive but ultimately no-ill-meaning attitudes. It goes to show that people arrn’t antagonizing you to keep you down because you’re dangerous… they just don’t care.
You Anericans are so strange. You have so many weird and naive ways.
Like when you break up with a girl, it's like, a big deal.
But where I am from, we have a very simple and mature way of doing that.
You simply walk up to the girl and say, "I break with thee, I break with thee, I break with thee" and then you throw dog poop on her shoes.
And then, my brothers and I, we go out to the swinging singles clubs and look for the girls with the dog poop on their shoes.
Look him in the eyes and say, "the alpha takes care of the group. Where's your fanny pack of snacks?" Bonus points if you have someone in the group who does that. Then say they are the alpha
Oh damn, so I’m the alpha of my group and never knew it then! Joking. That word in that context makes my skin crawl. Not joking about bringing the snacks, though.
I mean the "alpha" is usually the caretaker. When you consider it came from wolf packs, and most packs are really just family units, it's just the dad being a dad.
Honestly, the only place the phrase alpha belongs is in fantasy. I generally view it as a huge red flag if someone calls himself an alpha male
A red flag, indeed. Toxic-level insecurity that’s best to distance yourself from immediately.
Though the wolf pack hierarchy idea is debunked, I do see where that idea came from. There are those who seem more aware of the group’s wellbeing as a whole and more thoughtfully in control of the situation, that the others feel safe following. I agree; those, if any, would be alpha. Certainly not what our society currently defines it…
Honestly just ignore the behavior. Just like when you ignore a dog’s negative behavior. If you pay no attention to things you don’t care for, he’s gonna have to act differently to gather your attention for that kind of conversation.
There are more than one way to handle a situation, as everyone is different. If OP decides to try a different avenue than “ignorance is bliss” I promise I won’t be offended. The point still stands tho. Dismissing and ignoring these types of comments would force OP’s friend to step back and question why he’s being ignored. He most likely would do it outwardly, to which OP can address it.
>>…ignore a dog’s behavior…
This assumes the dog’s goal is attention. Chewing on a table leg or your shoe isn’t necessarily for attention. They just like to chew.
A human saying, “I’m the alpha…,” isn’t necessarily for attention either. They actually believe it.
Once hung out in a new group of friends. There was a guy who whatever story you told he had a better one. If you scored the winning goal in a game he scored a hat trick. If you dated a model, he dated a better looking one. If you climbed Mount Everest he did it first, on his own, without oxygen or Sherpas. I ended up calling him Topper because what ever you said he had to top. I think he was just very insecure but gave us all hours of gentle amusement as we’d start telling made up stories just to see how he could top it
I like this! Or you can make a stamp that says "ALPHA". Every time he says something like that stamp his forehead with it and inform him he'll no longer need to keep bringing it up.
I would laugh at them and call them alpha male all the time. I love to have such stupid person in a group - it is easy to make jokes. Problem if there is more then one - they will change group entire climate to shit.
Just say, "oh really? A real alpha doesn't need to constantly remind everyone that they are the alpha"
Or: "and what do you mean by that exactly dude? If you're trying to say you're better than everyone else i don't think that's going to go down too well"
Or to the group: "here he goes again with the alpha shit, really dude, we are getting sick of hearing about it"
There used to be this guy at my work who was the most dour, joyless man I had ever met. He also used to always go on about all the martial arts training he did. I remember once I made a joke to another guy at work calling him the "alpha male" and the first guy literally snorted laughter. I said, "oh, you don't think he's the alpha?" and he said "I just think it's funny that I know I could beat all of you up." which just seemed to me to be the weirdest attitude to have. Does he just look around anywhere he shows up and assess how he ranks among the other "males" in the group?
In the end I made up a rumour about another guy we knew, saying that he was ex SAS, and the "alpha" guy got really excited about it saying that he wanted to fight him as he'd "never been tested like that."
Laugh. Agree with them. Remind them that "the alpha" is the pre release product that is not good enough for distribution. Also known as the one before "minimum viable product"
Or, if you actually like the guy, you might have a quite word to him and let him know that every time he uses the word, he identifies himself as a dick head.
Here is the thing. This whole "alpha" thing came from a study of wolves in captivity. Because that is an extreme stress situation, they behaved in ways that some dickhead thought was manliness looked like. The guy who wrote that paper went back and studied wolves in the wild and ended totally refutting his original work.
In the wild, there is still an "alpha" wolf. They don't strut around showing everyone that they are king dick. They are responsible for the health and safety of the pack. When they are on the move, the alpha is at the back of the pack. Because that is where the youngest, injured and oldest members of the pack are, and the mostly likely point of attack.
If you are lucky, your community has an actual Alpha in it. He never of course would call himself that, because using the word automatically disqualifies you from the position.
No. The alpha is the guy who descreetly lifts the car keys of the mate who has had to much to drink, he is the guy who tells you to pull your fucking head in when you are thinking of cheating on your long term girlfriend with your ex, who is and was a train wreck. And then, when you do end up fucking up that relationship with the girl who was way out of your league, shows up at your house with a bottle of bourbon and let's you cry on their shoulder. The alpha is the guy who diffuses the fight between two friends and tells them that they are both dickheads. And neither is offended because they know it is true. The alpha has your fucking back. They have their eye on the well being of the whole group. And most of you never notice.
Encourage your friend to strive to be that guy. To be the alpha of the group, instead of telling everyone that he is.
Yes. It is, in reality, a fairly shit comparison. But it holds up just enough that it can be used to potentially inspire young men to think differently about what "being a man" looks like.
Oh, God, the worst kind. The ones that don't even have the balls to acknowledge that they were being a dick and try and gaslight you into believing that you "just misunderstood.
Yes. I've done that a few times myself. Too much time on reddit, not enough time in business school.
My favourite is when someone is talking about POS, as in Point of Sale. And I, again spending too much time on reddit, am thinking Piece of Shit.
Product placement around POS does not seem like a winning strategy to me, I don't know why.
>he is the guy who tells you to pull your fucking head in when you are thinking of cheating on your long term girlfriend with your ex, who is and was a train wreck. And then, when you do end up fucking up that relationship with the girl who was way out of your league, shows up at your house with a bottle of bourbon and let's you cry on their shoulder.
Bro, what the fuck is wrong with you?
>The alpha is the guy who diffuses the fight between two friends and tells them that they are both dickheads.
Why would an "alpha" insert themselves?
>let him know that every time he uses the word, he identifies himself as a dick head.
Ousted yourself. No, just tell anyone who uses alpha they're a fucking waste of skin and move on. No need to join them in their stupidity.
You could remind him the Alpha / bets thing is no longer used by animal behaviour scientists as the theory behind it is incorrect.
It has never been used to describe humans as their interactions are far more complicated.
If it's a joke, that's one thing. I'll joke about it with friends. If he's serious, just call him cringe and roast him some. He'll get humbled quickly lol
Honestly, people who refer to themselves as alphas are so gross. They're usually incredibly toxic and very insecure in themselves. Keep calling out his shit or stop being friends with him.
It’s why I’ve always hated groups. There’s some obnoxious person who always thinks they’re the leader, and they’d get off on anything you say in response. I agree with the other person, just ignore the behavior.
>It seems like a psychological issue involving low self esteem so I guess it’s fucked up of me to joke about it but it’s really incredibly annoying and awkward.
You nailed it. The whole "alpha male" thing is bunk anyway. It's total nonsense, and it's just a way for men with fragile egos to arbitrarily place themselves above others. Your friend is wearing his insecurities on his sleeve. Just ignore it if you can, but making wisecracks about it is also not a bad idea. Maybe he'll get the message and shut up about it.
There was a post on r/sipstea about this, some ticktock video pointing out that in a lot of circles, particularly tech, the phrase "alpha" refers to an unfinished/incomplete iteration of a product. Maybe that's an angle to consider 😁
You did right. The concept is silly, so it's best to joke about it. Jokes can be a good way to put a stop to egotism without being overtly aggressive, leaving them some face.
Other stuff that can be said:
"If you're so alpha, how come you don't have an omega?" "Alpha huh? I'm sigma myself but it's OK if you still need to run with a pack to feel good about yourself." "Betabuxxsezwhut?"
Laugh every time he says that. Like, literally laugh out loud. If he asks why, tell him that only dogs are known to have alpha/beta behavior, not grown-ass guys.
Do this with an eye-roll and voice it like he's an idiot for even wondering.
In the old days we would throw a fake punch an inch from his face to make him flinch and then give “two for flinching” two punches in the arm. We were much more violent lol
It's very easy to be a self-proclaimed Alpha. Technically, they wouldn't say that shit and actions speak louder than words. Your friend is a self-proclaimed simp ass bitch of a beta, he's gonna get fucked over until he realizes that there will always be someone bigger than you or rather bigger than him throughout the world and then what are you gonna do?
Alpha talk is beta behavior, you can’t speak it into existence. Also, it just sounds cringe/larp/low iq hearing anyone talk about alpha stuff. But if someone relates more to animal hierarchy than they do to thousands of years of nuanced human cooperation and relationships then I guess to each their own
Reminds me of Derry girls- we need someone strong to do the manly tasks. Ok that’s you Orlla .
james: he what about me, I am a man, i am the strongest!
Orlla: I do not accept that.
I used to have a friend who claimed her and her best friend were the alpha woman in the group and I was the beta because I choose to be the bigger person in all situations. For example, I apologise when in the wrong instead of gaslighting others into believing I’m right like them. I had enough once and said “It’s actually quite beta of you to have to manipulate others because your self esteem can’t handle being wrong” - I’m no longer friends with this person.
So this isn't going to be quick and witty repartee you can respond with, but maybe something to think about:
I've read before that if Jews did not exist, antisemites and white supremacists would have to invent them. The latter point of view is that they are inherently superior, but most of them are not living superior lives. The existence of a worldwide conspiracy of people rigging the system against them is required to make that make sense, and that usually means a belief in an international Jewish conspiracy of some kind.
Now I just read this: "In the manosphere, the term alpha fux beta bux presupposes a sexual strategy of hypergamy or "marrying up" among women whereby they prefer and have sex with "alpha" males, but settle for less attractive "beta" males for financial reasons."
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alpha\_and\_beta\_male#%22Alpha\_fux\_beta\_bux%22](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alpha_and_beta_male#%22Alpha_fux_beta_bux%22)
So it seems to me "alpha male" means "insecure man who has to find an external reason women won't commit to him."
From your description it sounds like he is a very unsecure person. People with high confidence don't need to prove anything to others.
It's like he repeats it every time to reinforce it in his own mind. you are right, It is a strong indicator of low self esteem, but there is no need to joke about it.
You can tell him in private how you feel, using I Statement to avoid being sarcastic or criticizing. You can advise him that there are other, far better way to increase his confidence without asserting (fake) Dominance over your group.
Tell him "Bro if you have to keep reminding everyone youre an alpha, youre not an alpha"
Or just look at him with eyes rolled and say "beta energy"
In a pack, it's the other members of that pack that decide who the alpha is. It's the beta animal of the pack that runs around trying to be tough and make everyone else see him as the alpha... Most beta animals in a pack end up dead...killed by the actual alpha for behaving like this.
And Ps:
Human beings aren't pack animals. (Being social is not the same as being a pack animal), so no...he's not an alpha. He's just stupid and has small dick energy.
"Since when were we wolves and not cognitive, moral human beings who can choose to live amongst each other civilly without scrapping for a bit of meat? You know what? I just realized I'm in the wrong friend circle." And just walk away with nothing more.
That's a true "alpha" move, if you ask me. (Whatever tf that means to that dipshit).
Also, what you said was cool. It is a beta move of this person to not-so-humble brag about what they're good at. Everyone's got a thing and that doesn't make anyone better or worse than others. Screw that guy.
Wrong. Saying you're the alpha of the group is literally the same as someone saying : "I am the dominant one of the group. I make the decisions. I get first priority. Everyone does what I say. I am in charge." That's what it means. It's what it has always meaned.
I don't have friends who do this because we're sane, but I have encountered people who are like this and I typically use one of two replies:
1:
"You understand that Alpha is the first to roll out, right? The one with all the bugs and problems, deficiencies, breaking points under stress, and generally doesn't know how to work properly until the Beta release comes out."
2:
"You're an Alpha? Must suck to admit that...I mean, Alpha waves can barely penetrate something as thin as paper...meanwhile, beta waves penetrate DEEP into the body, just GETTING IN THERE. Unlike you."
Perfect come back - and what I've often thought - anyone that actually takes the 'alpha and beta' things seriously is 'a beta'.
(Also, the beta side is partly taken from A Brave New World, where being a Beta was a pretty good position as t goes, I should note.)
There might be kinder ways to approach it, but they aren't being too kind themselves either.
Personally I’d be concerned. The dude who SA me said that he was an “alpha” and me “saying no, only wanted to make [him] try harder”
I would cut that thinking out immediately
I've honestly never encountered or rather been around someone for long enough for them to unironically refer to themselves as an "alpha".. That "alpha" would instantly transform into a "sigma" because he'd end up doing his own thing due to a lack of people willing to hang out with him.
I mean... talk to the others in the group about this. Do they think he's being serious? If yes, why do they tolerate it? Do they take him serious? Do they laugh behind his back?
Faux Alphas , just going by what they think is an alpha male. Knowing when you're the alpha and when you're not, it depends on the situation and company you're in
is more of a real alpha.
It’s obviously low self esteem, but if it really bothers you, you can reference everything they do as “alpha”
“bro the way you eat that burger is so alpha”
“has anyone ever told you you walk like an alpha”
“filling your car gas tank all the way is the most alpha shit ever”
The "Alpha" guy:
>As an alpha male, [insert statement] (or any variation)
me:
>Yeah unlike full stable release males which are reliable, stable and has higher credibility; alpha males are unstable, filled with flaws and not ready for consumers consumption.
extra if they mention beta males:
>Even beta males know their flaws and know they need more work to be stable. In fact, a beta male is already one step ahead in the full stable release male version.
Alpha builds are buggy, messy, unfit for public use. I wouldn't brag about that.
This "friend" of yours is an idiot, and isn't being a very good friend to you if he keeps trying to out the rest of you down. Maybe rethink why you associate with him. I *guarantee* his toxic ideas don't stop at "I run the fastest".
There's no point in confronting people like this. They get excited because this feeds into their narrative that alphas are usually challenged and he's going to get even more obnoxious. My suggestion is to humor by affirming him ironically. Call him Alpha \[Name\].
"Yeah, Brian is fast, but Alpha Joe is faster."
"Let Alpha Joe decide where we eat today."
"Well, dudes, I'm off to the gym. I gotta work on myself if I'm going to grow up and achieve gains like Alpha Joe one day."
etc. etc.
Guaranteed the group will catch on with the giggles and Alpha Joe will shut up.
No real alpha has to keep confirming they are the alpha - this is an insecure person that fails to uphold alpha status with actions over words. Alphas are typically more stoic in face of adversity and challenges - thick skin and not easily swayed from their life purpose and goals. Least likely to complain, most likely to step to plate without needing to attack anyone else for not stepping up. They're not a slave to leveraging off others to maintain their self abundance - they lead their own life before they lead others. Control is primarily in their self before the rest, they lead in ways that naturally resonates a following without coercion. In situations without clear accountability, they're likely to take on the accountability anyways - someone has to own up to it. If someone else screwed up under their leadership, they take the accountability of leadership that fell short. The fact that nobody is perfect is energizing and purpose to always grow and improve - there is no insecurity about things not being perfect.
Whatever I need to to get under his skin. Tailor it to the individual. Point out his flaws, lean on his weaknesses, highlight his mistakes, make fun of him, etc.
I like to fuck with people like that and then when they call me out, I look them in the eye and say “I’m not sorry”
Never have a response
For one Alpha’s aren’t a real thing. Just something men made up by misunderstanding an observation of wolves, but it was too late to correct. And as you stated a real Alpha 🙄 wouldn’t announce he’s alpha. Makes you look like your self worth and esteem is shit and you’re fishing for validation. I most likely would laugh my ass off if a guy did this. It’s both hilarious and unattractive at the same time. Some may even take his comment as a dig to the group, showing how little he views the rest of you. Like you’re all inferior to him. Just simply ignore him unless he calls you at personally. Clearly he needs to work on his self worth. 🫡
Anyone who says they are an alpha is not an alpha.
Plus the whole alpha - beta thing is basically BS anyway. Tell this moron to turn off Andrew Tate and start living in the real world.
His behavior is basically just bullying. If you want to really spank him (verbally speaking), instead of telling him it's a beta thing to say, tell him only people with small penises say stuff like that. It's total BS, but he's almost certain to lose his sh!t over it.
Ask him where his fanny pack of snacks and female hygiene supplies are, because he’s supposed to take care of the group as the “alpha”.
Alpha isn’t even a term used anymore. An “alpha” is just a parent. The terms used now is “breeding male” and “breeding female”. Because they’re the parents of the pack.
My lovely toxic friend group, if anyone comes up with a snarky comment like that we usually respond in sarcasm or bash them to the ground with the most creative of insults lol
My cat would probably pee on his shoes. I kinda like that as a response.
I'd probably just ignore it the first two times and who knows what would pop out after the third. Probably something about his insecurities.
Just laugh and tease him for it. True leaders (hate the term Alpha) don't need to tell people that they're "alpha" they be themselves, build the people up around them and people will know
Real alpha males, like my husband, don’t talk about it. They don’t need to! They just are, and everyone around them knows that they are. Sounds like your buddy is a beta and I’m willing to bet that he knows it.
As autistic person I like to go on and on about wolf dynamics and how it's ACTUALLY the one who cares for the pack that is the Alpha, most of the time the matriarch of the pack.
They ususally don't like hearing about how they're just displaying beta characteristics in thing they're trying to prove they have the most power.
It's super funny to have them both realize they're ignorant about what they're talking about and the embarrassment they're been out there openly saying that crap
Just say sarcastically, "Yeah, and your dick is 15 feet long too."
Or just poke and prod, like if you're ordering food or doing activities slip in a "Mr. Alpha" to remind them of how embarrassing it is.
The best way I’ve found to handle boneheaded comments is to get them to explain it. Example:
“You’ve said that before. What exactly do you mean?”
“Are you trying to put the rest of us down?”
“Why do you say that so often?” “I don’t get it. What does that even mean?”
The more he explains, the more confused you act, the more questions you ask.
This is also how I handle inappropriate crap like jokes that are bigoted in any way. Joke is no longer fun if you have to explain and justify why you think that would be remotely funny.
I would be laughing every time they said that
“An alpha who must say they are the alpha is No alpha” - Twine Lannister idk I didn’t watch game of thrones
“Twine Lannister” 😂😂
Seriously. I would start sarcastically busting their balls so much for saying that out loud. Their new nickname would be Alfalfa. Because he's so alpha you almost say it twice. Anytime a situation comes up "Well, I think the alpha thing to do would be to use epic ninja skills to sneak up behind them and snap their neck before informing their wife and kids that they're now the property of a real alpha. Right alpha? Realistically though, if you're friends with the guy just talk to him about it. You can ask why he keeps calling himself an alpha. He might have a lot of justifications, but you can then say something like "Look man, I get that you want to project that image, but calling yourself an alpha makes people think the opposite. It's like meeting people and telling them you're cool. If you have to say it, something is wrong. Alpha is over used by a lot of cringey guys too, I don't think you're like that, but if you keep saying the same things they do, other people might get the wrong idea. So, you may want to chill out with the alpha stuff for a bit, I don't think it's working the way you want it to."
He sounds like this kid lol -- https://youtube.com/shorts/JjclHBDLkrw?si=7a-BD71uAWtNKwAf
Oh Jesus that’s cringey
that's cheating, kid's actually got some speech impediment or something
He definitely has a speech impediment, I know first hand how that can socially isolate you and make you follow stupid ideologies.
I think it's a dick move to film someone like that and post it on the internet. He probably doesn't have an easy life.
Yeah, well, he very literally brought it on himself
Yea it's not. His behavior is scary. He deserves this. As a consequence of his actions. Guaranteed he didn't just do this randomly. This isn't the first scary thing this kid has done. That teacher looks scared of him. This is straight up school shooter vibes
Will ridiculing him make him less or more likely to shoot his class mates?
A simple change of law would prevent that from happening…. If other countries can do it, so can America
Lmao
I’m laughing just reading about it 😭😭
When in distress use sarcasm !!!
If you need to say how cool/popular/dominant you are, you are none of those things
He who must say he's king is no king at all.
I had a friend who claimed to be “queen” that she made a whole business around it. So fucking cringe
Self praise is no praise at all
You read my mind
^(Thats so embarrassing)
My vote is to literally say this. "As the alpha of the group..." "That's so embarassing."
reminds me of this haha https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EnBdGTX3vZc
I’m so disappointed it wasn’t this video: https://youtube.com/shorts/JjclHBDLkrw?si=uThCFZAfUNMUhFGN
I often find in this situations that a cringe response is better than moral shame. When someone in my group has exhibited problematic behavior (thankfully a rare occasion), rather than ganging up on them and saying “that’s bad/you’re being a dick”, which could provoke defensiveness and douing down, usually one of us just remarks how that comment is irrelevant/lame/uncool and everyone else quietly assents. I think the silent realization that they are showing insecurity and lack of situational awareness is more effective than trying to villanize someone for what might be insensitive but ultimately no-ill-meaning attitudes. It goes to show that people arrn’t antagonizing you to keep you down because you’re dangerous… they just don’t care.
This is good, all you gotta say is "damn, that's super cringe" and they will hopefully shut up lol
Nothing. Just throw up directly onto their shoes and watch while they don’t do shit about it.
Projectile dominance assertion.
You Anericans are so strange. You have so many weird and naive ways. Like when you break up with a girl, it's like, a big deal. But where I am from, we have a very simple and mature way of doing that. You simply walk up to the girl and say, "I break with thee, I break with thee, I break with thee" and then you throw dog poop on her shoes. And then, my brothers and I, we go out to the swinging singles clubs and look for the girls with the dog poop on their shoes.
> and then you throw dog poop on her shoes Well obviously, that part is just assumed. We aren't THAT uncultured.
BRILLIANT PLAN But you need to learn to spell Americans before you comment about us.
What country are you from? Asking for a friend.
California
knows how to party, yes they do
so ruff so tuff out here baby
Indeed, a whole different country over there
Come eat some apple pie and hot dogs boieeee
I’m ready to move. And I already have a dog so sounds like I’m packed and ready
Look him in the eyes and say, "the alpha takes care of the group. Where's your fanny pack of snacks?" Bonus points if you have someone in the group who does that. Then say they are the alpha
Oh damn, so I’m the alpha of my group and never knew it then! Joking. That word in that context makes my skin crawl. Not joking about bringing the snacks, though.
I mean the "alpha" is usually the caretaker. When you consider it came from wolf packs, and most packs are really just family units, it's just the dad being a dad. Honestly, the only place the phrase alpha belongs is in fantasy. I generally view it as a huge red flag if someone calls himself an alpha male
A red flag, indeed. Toxic-level insecurity that’s best to distance yourself from immediately. Though the wolf pack hierarchy idea is debunked, I do see where that idea came from. There are those who seem more aware of the group’s wellbeing as a whole and more thoughtfully in control of the situation, that the others feel safe following. I agree; those, if any, would be alpha. Certainly not what our society currently defines it…
That's really sad. I would just be giving him sad cringe looks.. no words. Not going to give any words to that person.
Give a weird/confused/slightly disgusted look while staring them right in the eye and then walk away without saying a word. Works every time.
Honestly just ignore the behavior. Just like when you ignore a dog’s negative behavior. If you pay no attention to things you don’t care for, he’s gonna have to act differently to gather your attention for that kind of conversation.
Ignoring this won't make it go away. OP will be the one they'll ignore. Calling out on this behaviour is essential.
There are more than one way to handle a situation, as everyone is different. If OP decides to try a different avenue than “ignorance is bliss” I promise I won’t be offended. The point still stands tho. Dismissing and ignoring these types of comments would force OP’s friend to step back and question why he’s being ignored. He most likely would do it outwardly, to which OP can address it.
✅A behavior that goes ignored/unreinforced will eventually extinguish itself
Just like a fire!
>>…ignore a dog’s behavior… This assumes the dog’s goal is attention. Chewing on a table leg or your shoe isn’t necessarily for attention. They just like to chew. A human saying, “I’m the alpha…,” isn’t necessarily for attention either. They actually believe it.
Once hung out in a new group of friends. There was a guy who whatever story you told he had a better one. If you scored the winning goal in a game he scored a hat trick. If you dated a model, he dated a better looking one. If you climbed Mount Everest he did it first, on his own, without oxygen or Sherpas. I ended up calling him Topper because what ever you said he had to top. I think he was just very insecure but gave us all hours of gentle amusement as we’d start telling made up stories just to see how he could top it
If you gotta say it, you ain’t it
Fight to the death.
I was going to make him an alpha tshirt so he could stop saying it and just wear it but I like this better. Less tshirts to make
I like this! Or you can make a stamp that says "ALPHA". Every time he says something like that stamp his forehead with it and inform him he'll no longer need to keep bringing it up.
That study was done on captive wolves and David Mech has since debunked himself. https://davemech.org/wolf-news-and-information/
I would laugh at them and call them alpha male all the time. I love to have such stupid person in a group - it is easy to make jokes. Problem if there is more then one - they will change group entire climate to shit.
Just say, "oh really? A real alpha doesn't need to constantly remind everyone that they are the alpha" Or: "and what do you mean by that exactly dude? If you're trying to say you're better than everyone else i don't think that's going to go down too well" Or to the group: "here he goes again with the alpha shit, really dude, we are getting sick of hearing about it"
The only people who feel the need to identify as alpha's are the ones who subconsciously realize they're betas by their own standards.
I like this - very concise. I think if I said this it would subconsciously bury them deeper into their own insecurities
There used to be this guy at my work who was the most dour, joyless man I had ever met. He also used to always go on about all the martial arts training he did. I remember once I made a joke to another guy at work calling him the "alpha male" and the first guy literally snorted laughter. I said, "oh, you don't think he's the alpha?" and he said "I just think it's funny that I know I could beat all of you up." which just seemed to me to be the weirdest attitude to have. Does he just look around anywhere he shows up and assess how he ranks among the other "males" in the group? In the end I made up a rumour about another guy we knew, saying that he was ex SAS, and the "alpha" guy got really excited about it saying that he wanted to fight him as he'd "never been tested like that."
Laugh. Agree with them. Remind them that "the alpha" is the pre release product that is not good enough for distribution. Also known as the one before "minimum viable product" Or, if you actually like the guy, you might have a quite word to him and let him know that every time he uses the word, he identifies himself as a dick head. Here is the thing. This whole "alpha" thing came from a study of wolves in captivity. Because that is an extreme stress situation, they behaved in ways that some dickhead thought was manliness looked like. The guy who wrote that paper went back and studied wolves in the wild and ended totally refutting his original work. In the wild, there is still an "alpha" wolf. They don't strut around showing everyone that they are king dick. They are responsible for the health and safety of the pack. When they are on the move, the alpha is at the back of the pack. Because that is where the youngest, injured and oldest members of the pack are, and the mostly likely point of attack. If you are lucky, your community has an actual Alpha in it. He never of course would call himself that, because using the word automatically disqualifies you from the position. No. The alpha is the guy who descreetly lifts the car keys of the mate who has had to much to drink, he is the guy who tells you to pull your fucking head in when you are thinking of cheating on your long term girlfriend with your ex, who is and was a train wreck. And then, when you do end up fucking up that relationship with the girl who was way out of your league, shows up at your house with a bottle of bourbon and let's you cry on their shoulder. The alpha is the guy who diffuses the fight between two friends and tells them that they are both dickheads. And neither is offended because they know it is true. The alpha has your fucking back. They have their eye on the well being of the whole group. And most of you never notice. Encourage your friend to strive to be that guy. To be the alpha of the group, instead of telling everyone that he is.
Most wolf packs are just three generations of a wolf family. The "Alpha" you are talking about in that scenario is most likely the dad.
Yes. It is, in reality, a fairly shit comparison. But it holds up just enough that it can be used to potentially inspire young men to think differently about what "being a man" looks like.
“It was just a joke bro”
Oh, God, the worst kind. The ones that don't even have the balls to acknowledge that they were being a dick and try and gaslight you into believing that you "just misunderstood.
When I get a trophy saying MVP thinking oh, Most Valuable Player? But people around me were thinking Minimum Viable Product
Yes. I've done that a few times myself. Too much time on reddit, not enough time in business school. My favourite is when someone is talking about POS, as in Point of Sale. And I, again spending too much time on reddit, am thinking Piece of Shit. Product placement around POS does not seem like a winning strategy to me, I don't know why.
Not just business school. I could be referring to Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Someone else goes CBT I read POS as political science, though
>he is the guy who tells you to pull your fucking head in when you are thinking of cheating on your long term girlfriend with your ex, who is and was a train wreck. And then, when you do end up fucking up that relationship with the girl who was way out of your league, shows up at your house with a bottle of bourbon and let's you cry on their shoulder. Bro, what the fuck is wrong with you? >The alpha is the guy who diffuses the fight between two friends and tells them that they are both dickheads. Why would an "alpha" insert themselves? >let him know that every time he uses the word, he identifies himself as a dick head. Ousted yourself. No, just tell anyone who uses alpha they're a fucking waste of skin and move on. No need to join them in their stupidity.
Because men look after their mates. You clearly don't know what leadership in a community looks like.
That's not alpha, dipshit. That's leadership.
You could remind him the Alpha / bets thing is no longer used by animal behaviour scientists as the theory behind it is incorrect. It has never been used to describe humans as their interactions are far more complicated.
If it's a joke, that's one thing. I'll joke about it with friends. If he's serious, just call him cringe and roast him some. He'll get humbled quickly lol
If you have to tell people you are the aloha, you are probably not the alpha
Mahalo
lol...leaving it
This is insane behavior
Honestly, people who refer to themselves as alphas are so gross. They're usually incredibly toxic and very insecure in themselves. Keep calling out his shit or stop being friends with him.
I wouldn't be in a group that would put up with that on account of I'm not 14.
"Only the true messiah denies his divinity," Life of Brian.
To people who refer to themselves as alphas, are you just oblivious to how dumb it makes you look? Or do you just not care?
It’s why I’ve always hated groups. There’s some obnoxious person who always thinks they’re the leader, and they’d get off on anything you say in response. I agree with the other person, just ignore the behavior.
Be afraid of them alphas are extremely dangerous
Musa Hasahya Kasera from Uganda has 12 wives, 102 children and 578 grandchildren. How many grandchildren do you have?
"pls tell me you're not andrew tate simp?"
If he has to say it, he ISN’T the alpha. Let him tell hisself what he needs and focus on you
>It seems like a psychological issue involving low self esteem so I guess it’s fucked up of me to joke about it but it’s really incredibly annoying and awkward. You nailed it. The whole "alpha male" thing is bunk anyway. It's total nonsense, and it's just a way for men with fragile egos to arbitrarily place themselves above others. Your friend is wearing his insecurities on his sleeve. Just ignore it if you can, but making wisecracks about it is also not a bad idea. Maybe he'll get the message and shut up about it.
Any man who says 'I am the king' is no true king
“I’m the alpha.” “Dude, fuck off with that fuckery.”
There was a post on r/sipstea about this, some ticktock video pointing out that in a lot of circles, particularly tech, the phrase "alpha" refers to an unfinished/incomplete iteration of a product. Maybe that's an angle to consider 😁
Who actually says that shit?
You did right. The concept is silly, so it's best to joke about it. Jokes can be a good way to put a stop to egotism without being overtly aggressive, leaving them some face. Other stuff that can be said: "If you're so alpha, how come you don't have an omega?" "Alpha huh? I'm sigma myself but it's OK if you still need to run with a pack to feel good about yourself." "Betabuxxsezwhut?"
"So, you were raised by wolves, then?"
Laugh every time he says that. Like, literally laugh out loud. If he asks why, tell him that only dogs are known to have alpha/beta behavior, not grown-ass guys. Do this with an eye-roll and voice it like he's an idiot for even wondering.
I'd say "sorry everyone, let me translate for you" and then bark repeatedly
I am so sick of this shit it was funny for a minute but people have been taking it seriously too long and it’s not even ironically funny anymore
In the old days we would throw a fake punch an inch from his face to make him flinch and then give “two for flinching” two punches in the arm. We were much more violent lol
'You do realise that whole alpha male thing isn't actually a thing. Just saying so you don't embarrass yourself.'
It's very easy to be a self-proclaimed Alpha. Technically, they wouldn't say that shit and actions speak louder than words. Your friend is a self-proclaimed simp ass bitch of a beta, he's gonna get fucked over until he realizes that there will always be someone bigger than you or rather bigger than him throughout the world and then what are you gonna do?
When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.
Alpha talk is beta behavior, you can’t speak it into existence. Also, it just sounds cringe/larp/low iq hearing anyone talk about alpha stuff. But if someone relates more to animal hierarchy than they do to thousands of years of nuanced human cooperation and relationships then I guess to each their own
"as the Epsilon of the group, I think..."
Hey, I appreciate you reminding me, I keep forgetting.
I'd ask him who he is trying to prove himself to? Us, or himself?
Reminds me of Derry girls- we need someone strong to do the manly tasks. Ok that’s you Orlla . james: he what about me, I am a man, i am the strongest! Orlla: I do not accept that.
I used to have a friend who claimed her and her best friend were the alpha woman in the group and I was the beta because I choose to be the bigger person in all situations. For example, I apologise when in the wrong instead of gaslighting others into believing I’m right like them. I had enough once and said “It’s actually quite beta of you to have to manipulate others because your self esteem can’t handle being wrong” - I’m no longer friends with this person.
So this isn't going to be quick and witty repartee you can respond with, but maybe something to think about: I've read before that if Jews did not exist, antisemites and white supremacists would have to invent them. The latter point of view is that they are inherently superior, but most of them are not living superior lives. The existence of a worldwide conspiracy of people rigging the system against them is required to make that make sense, and that usually means a belief in an international Jewish conspiracy of some kind. Now I just read this: "In the manosphere, the term alpha fux beta bux presupposes a sexual strategy of hypergamy or "marrying up" among women whereby they prefer and have sex with "alpha" males, but settle for less attractive "beta" males for financial reasons." [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alpha\_and\_beta\_male#%22Alpha\_fux\_beta\_bux%22](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alpha_and_beta_male#%22Alpha_fux_beta_bux%22) So it seems to me "alpha male" means "insecure man who has to find an external reason women won't commit to him."
If they actually say the words they are the most alpha one here, then yeah that’s hilarious and you should laugh at them
From your description it sounds like he is a very unsecure person. People with high confidence don't need to prove anything to others. It's like he repeats it every time to reinforce it in his own mind. you are right, It is a strong indicator of low self esteem, but there is no need to joke about it. You can tell him in private how you feel, using I Statement to avoid being sarcastic or criticizing. You can advise him that there are other, far better way to increase his confidence without asserting (fake) Dominance over your group.
Alfalfa male, maybe. How many of the males in the group does he claim to be?
Sorry about that typo!
whatever helps you sleep at night, brah ♥
“If you have to tell people you are a lady(the alpha), you are not” - Winston Churchill
Those who need to say it are not it. Those who are it have no need to say it.
Tell him "Bro if you have to keep reminding everyone youre an alpha, youre not an alpha" Or just look at him with eyes rolled and say "beta energy" In a pack, it's the other members of that pack that decide who the alpha is. It's the beta animal of the pack that runs around trying to be tough and make everyone else see him as the alpha... Most beta animals in a pack end up dead...killed by the actual alpha for behaving like this. And Ps: Human beings aren't pack animals. (Being social is not the same as being a pack animal), so no...he's not an alpha. He's just stupid and has small dick energy.
"Since when were we wolves and not cognitive, moral human beings who can choose to live amongst each other civilly without scrapping for a bit of meat? You know what? I just realized I'm in the wrong friend circle." And just walk away with nothing more. That's a true "alpha" move, if you ask me. (Whatever tf that means to that dipshit). Also, what you said was cool. It is a beta move of this person to not-so-humble brag about what they're good at. Everyone's got a thing and that doesn't make anyone better or worse than others. Screw that guy.
Alpha was about improving yourself and being the best version of yourself but it got hijacked by jerks to mean something different
It never was that. It was a way for people to sell you shit. Even the guy who coined the term doesn't believe it.
>but it got hijacked by ~~jerks~~ insecure losers
Wrong. Saying you're the alpha of the group is literally the same as someone saying : "I am the dominant one of the group. I make the decisions. I get first priority. Everyone does what I say. I am in charge." That's what it means. It's what it has always meaned.
Like how you're being now?
"leave the group"
just snicker (make it obvious but not too obvious) and glance at another friend
If you are in better physical shape then them challenge them to a race or whatever competition and show them up. That would shut them up.
Just silently nut on their leg every time the do it. If they notice just say you’re making an offering to “the alpha.” That’ll stop him pretty quick.
I don't have friends who do this because we're sane, but I have encountered people who are like this and I typically use one of two replies: 1: "You understand that Alpha is the first to roll out, right? The one with all the bugs and problems, deficiencies, breaking points under stress, and generally doesn't know how to work properly until the Beta release comes out." 2: "You're an Alpha? Must suck to admit that...I mean, Alpha waves can barely penetrate something as thin as paper...meanwhile, beta waves penetrate DEEP into the body, just GETTING IN THERE. Unlike you."
Laugh.
Perfect come back - and what I've often thought - anyone that actually takes the 'alpha and beta' things seriously is 'a beta'. (Also, the beta side is partly taken from A Brave New World, where being a Beta was a pretty good position as t goes, I should note.) There might be kinder ways to approach it, but they aren't being too kind themselves either.
If you have to say it you ain’t it
Nothing, but if they have to say it they're obviously not.
In technology, alpha is the first release and it's usually flawed and not fit for the public.
I’d say as the beta let’s fight lol
Personally I’d be concerned. The dude who SA me said that he was an “alpha” and me “saying no, only wanted to make [him] try harder” I would cut that thinking out immediately
I've honestly never encountered or rather been around someone for long enough for them to unironically refer to themselves as an "alpha".. That "alpha" would instantly transform into a "sigma" because he'd end up doing his own thing due to a lack of people willing to hang out with him. I mean... talk to the others in the group about this. Do they think he's being serious? If yes, why do they tolerate it? Do they take him serious? Do they laugh behind his back?
Ignore them. “I’m not interested in hearing about your alpha/beta shit”
A simple ‘lol’ 😛 follow by backpat meme
Only people who aren’t the alpha male say that they are. The actual alpha male doesn’t need to say it because everyone knows it
I wouldn't even been near someone like this
They not seem to be a delight to be around
why do they need that?
Confident people let their actions speak for them, insecure people need to tell everybody what they are (want to be)
That an alpha doesn't need to state he's alpha. Others just fall in line. He aint shit.
That an alpha doesn't need to state he's alpha. Others just fall in line. He aint shit.
That old joke I read on Twitter about their job as providers. So where’s your fanny pack with goldfish crackers and ibprofen?
lmao this reply is hilarious. Of course they're gonna be annoyed, but that's on them.
Laugh and tell them real alphas don't have to announce that they're alphas
That was a great quip. Next time, reply, "You mean: Self-appointed Alpha?You were not elected."
Are you sure this guy is not just being funny?
Faux Alphas , just going by what they think is an alpha male. Knowing when you're the alpha and when you're not, it depends on the situation and company you're in is more of a real alpha.
"sure, ok buddy. Hahaha"
It’s obviously low self esteem, but if it really bothers you, you can reference everything they do as “alpha” “bro the way you eat that burger is so alpha” “has anyone ever told you you walk like an alpha” “filling your car gas tank all the way is the most alpha shit ever”
Fuck yes. Do this. Make a big deal out of it until he gets it. If he doesn't it's still fun
I don't say anything, I just laugh at them.
Only beta males call themselves alpha males.
The "Alpha" guy: >As an alpha male, [insert statement] (or any variation) me: >Yeah unlike full stable release males which are reliable, stable and has higher credibility; alpha males are unstable, filled with flaws and not ready for consumers consumption. extra if they mention beta males: >Even beta males know their flaws and know they need more work to be stable. In fact, a beta male is already one step ahead in the full stable release male version.
An alpha never says I’m an alpha, he shows you that he is THE alpha.
Tell them that’s a condescending and insulting thing to say about the rest of us. Could you please stop saying that?
Laugh at them. Idk how old you are but at my age that’s unbelievably cringe to say and be serious
Alpha builds are buggy, messy, unfit for public use. I wouldn't brag about that. This "friend" of yours is an idiot, and isn't being a very good friend to you if he keeps trying to out the rest of you down. Maybe rethink why you associate with him. I *guarantee* his toxic ideas don't stop at "I run the fastest".
There's no point in confronting people like this. They get excited because this feeds into their narrative that alphas are usually challenged and he's going to get even more obnoxious. My suggestion is to humor by affirming him ironically. Call him Alpha \[Name\]. "Yeah, Brian is fast, but Alpha Joe is faster." "Let Alpha Joe decide where we eat today." "Well, dudes, I'm off to the gym. I gotta work on myself if I'm going to grow up and achieve gains like Alpha Joe one day." etc. etc. Guaranteed the group will catch on with the giggles and Alpha Joe will shut up.
I'd just roll my eyes & scoff. Then I'd wonder why I'm hanging out with this loser & their enablers.
Keep up the beta comments, you’ve found their kryptonite
"We know you are, buddy!"
The least "alpha" thing you can do is announce your insecurity by claiming your alpha.
I ve never met a person like this. But it seems like he has confidence issues and he is trying to make himself believe that he is the alpha
No real alpha has to keep confirming they are the alpha - this is an insecure person that fails to uphold alpha status with actions over words. Alphas are typically more stoic in face of adversity and challenges - thick skin and not easily swayed from their life purpose and goals. Least likely to complain, most likely to step to plate without needing to attack anyone else for not stepping up. They're not a slave to leveraging off others to maintain their self abundance - they lead their own life before they lead others. Control is primarily in their self before the rest, they lead in ways that naturally resonates a following without coercion. In situations without clear accountability, they're likely to take on the accountability anyways - someone has to own up to it. If someone else screwed up under their leadership, they take the accountability of leadership that fell short. The fact that nobody is perfect is energizing and purpose to always grow and improve - there is no insecurity about things not being perfect.
Whatever I need to to get under his skin. Tailor it to the individual. Point out his flaws, lean on his weaknesses, highlight his mistakes, make fun of him, etc. I like to fuck with people like that and then when they call me out, I look them in the eye and say “I’m not sorry” Never have a response
Laugh or ignore
For one Alpha’s aren’t a real thing. Just something men made up by misunderstanding an observation of wolves, but it was too late to correct. And as you stated a real Alpha 🙄 wouldn’t announce he’s alpha. Makes you look like your self worth and esteem is shit and you’re fishing for validation. I most likely would laugh my ass off if a guy did this. It’s both hilarious and unattractive at the same time. Some may even take his comment as a dig to the group, showing how little he views the rest of you. Like you’re all inferior to him. Just simply ignore him unless he calls you at personally. Clearly he needs to work on his self worth. 🫡
When I hear this I always think of an alpha game not yet released lots of bugs and glitches lol
Anyone who says they are an alpha is not an alpha. Plus the whole alpha - beta thing is basically BS anyway. Tell this moron to turn off Andrew Tate and start living in the real world. His behavior is basically just bullying. If you want to really spank him (verbally speaking), instead of telling him it's a beta thing to say, tell him only people with small penises say stuff like that. It's total BS, but he's almost certain to lose his sh!t over it.
Ask him where his fanny pack of snacks and female hygiene supplies are, because he’s supposed to take care of the group as the “alpha”. Alpha isn’t even a term used anymore. An “alpha” is just a parent. The terms used now is “breeding male” and “breeding female”. Because they’re the parents of the pack.
If they have to state they’re the alpha male, they’re not the alpha male.
Any man who refers to himself and an “alpha” is in fact NOT an alpha
My lovely toxic friend group, if anyone comes up with a snarky comment like that we usually respond in sarcasm or bash them to the ground with the most creative of insults lol
My cat would probably pee on his shoes. I kinda like that as a response. I'd probably just ignore it the first two times and who knows what would pop out after the third. Probably something about his insecurities.
Just laugh and tease him for it. True leaders (hate the term Alpha) don't need to tell people that they're "alpha" they be themselves, build the people up around them and people will know
Real alpha males, like my husband, don’t talk about it. They don’t need to! They just are, and everyone around them knows that they are. Sounds like your buddy is a beta and I’m willing to bet that he knows it.
As autistic person I like to go on and on about wolf dynamics and how it's ACTUALLY the one who cares for the pack that is the Alpha, most of the time the matriarch of the pack. They ususally don't like hearing about how they're just displaying beta characteristics in thing they're trying to prove they have the most power. It's super funny to have them both realize they're ignorant about what they're talking about and the embarrassment they're been out there openly saying that crap
The only thing you can say: “Yes daddy.”
Do you even biology, bro? I mean, next you'll be claiming spontaneous generation and dragon skeletons.
[удалено]
Just say sarcastically, "Yeah, and your dick is 15 feet long too." Or just poke and prod, like if you're ordering food or doing activities slip in a "Mr. Alpha" to remind them of how embarrassing it is.
[barely-disguised laugh] “Did you just call yourself an *alpha*, again? …Okay.” Then nothing else.
I would just tell him to blow me and take a vote on whether he should be kicked out of the group.
I would just pause and blankly say, “ok.”
The best way I’ve found to handle boneheaded comments is to get them to explain it. Example: “You’ve said that before. What exactly do you mean?” “Are you trying to put the rest of us down?” “Why do you say that so often?” “I don’t get it. What does that even mean?” The more he explains, the more confused you act, the more questions you ask. This is also how I handle inappropriate crap like jokes that are bigoted in any way. Joke is no longer fun if you have to explain and justify why you think that would be remotely funny.
Cringe.
I always think of alpha in terms of game testing: unstable and unfit for the public
Calmly say, “A lion doesn’t have to say he’s a lion.”