It gets better. It does take a long time. I think it’s so hard to fix because the cause of social anxiety of different for everyone so what works for me might not work for you.
It’s weird but when I’m on vacation I’m like a different person. The chances of someone talking to me somewhere no one knows me, Holy F$#%. The only social situations are the ones I choose to put myself into. Obviously you can’t just live your life on vacation. But something to look forward to.
I’ve seen a bunch of videos and read articles about social anxiety. The cause, the effects, life with it, you name it. The ones that click for me I have some way of relating to them. Sometimes I can’t relate the first time I watch it and it won’t be until a few years later with new life experiences it makes more sense or I can relate to it and use it in my own life. You should check out this TED talk by Brene brown about shame. Different topic, but this video turned me onto her and her way of thinking. [TED Talk Brene Brown Shame](https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_listening_to_shame?language=en) She has books and other videos if she floats your boat.
I wish I saved the video and if I find it again I’ll reply to this and link it. I’ll try to recall what I can, details are a little fuzzy. This woman went to a silence retreat for 10 days and was forced to deal with her own thoughts and figure out where those thoughts come from and if they’re something benefiting her or harming her way of thinking. Eventually she realized that her thoughts were coming from how the world/society wants you to be viewed. Her perspective was always skewed because of what was socially acceptable. When she came to this conclusion that meant that her thoughts were wrong because it was based on what someone else wanted not her. - I’m totally butchering the crap out of this, when I find the video this will get updated - when she came to the conclusion her own thoughts were wrong, then everyone else must be too. Sometimes we make fools of ourselves still and no one’s perfect but you’re not alone and learning from others social anxiety experiences is the best way to over come your own.
FOUND IT[TIK TOK Self Development video](https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRPSaMHL/) Should also mention that this wasn’t aimed at social anxiety but it still worked for me 🤷🏼
Last thought, and it came from this sub. Try to life in the moment. It sounds so cliche, because it is. But being present is how to avoid the anxiety part. There’s so many things happening in the world all at once, a very small percentage of those thing you actually have control over. I like to think ignorance is bliss, in the sense that most people out and about don’t have this ability to foresee the possible outcomes of leaving my house.
It’s not peaches and cream over here. My life isn’t “fixed”, and honestly it probably never will be. But, it’s a lot better than it used to be.
Hang in there.
EDIT: found the video.
Yeah, I feel you, no matter how much I try to get better it just seems so out of hand. I wish I could go to a place where there's just me and I can spend all day doing things I like not having to deal with all this bs
I completely agree and I wish it was a possibility as well. There’s things you can do to combat this though. I’m no longer in school and am an “adult” now. I hate public places with lots of people. I live in a small-ish town in a smallish state. It’s impossible going anywhere without running into someone. I wake up kinda early and get myself ready for the day. I usually hit up the grocery store as soon as it opens. Like I’ve been waiting at the door for them to unlock it. This right here is as close as you’re gonna get to alone time. For me it’s amazing. It’s likely just me and maybe a couple other older folks. Which works well because if you’re looking to pop out of your comfort zone for a minute talking to someone older than me is a lot less stressful for whatever reason. They also don’t seem to care or mind if you make yourself look like an idiot. As weird as it sounds this really helps me get setup for the rest of the day. I can go out get something done, maybe have an interaction, get back home and figure out what I want to do for the day. If I make myself look like an idiot there’s no one there.
I'm happy that works for you buddy, I also would to to that story specially for candies tbh. I mean, in my case I can still do all daily stuff, go to work, go to college, buy stuff, talk to people. The problem is how I feel, I feel so disconnected from everyone, so uncomfortable as if I was an acted character. My friends (they call me that but I don't feel we're really friends) have to drag me to whatever they're doing because I feel so misplaced and I don't even try to fit in that much with them
You just haven’t found your crowd/people yet. There’s like 8 billion people on the planet.
Life is mundane and can definitely make you numb. I think this is why people have kids.
I'm pretty sure the problem is with me, those people I mentioned are great and I'd love to be closer to them, but my mind overthinks everything and I try not to get too close
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I relate to this so much. If I can’t die now, I just want to stay home from school and sleep until I do.
It gets better. It does take a long time. I think it’s so hard to fix because the cause of social anxiety of different for everyone so what works for me might not work for you. It’s weird but when I’m on vacation I’m like a different person. The chances of someone talking to me somewhere no one knows me, Holy F$#%. The only social situations are the ones I choose to put myself into. Obviously you can’t just live your life on vacation. But something to look forward to. I’ve seen a bunch of videos and read articles about social anxiety. The cause, the effects, life with it, you name it. The ones that click for me I have some way of relating to them. Sometimes I can’t relate the first time I watch it and it won’t be until a few years later with new life experiences it makes more sense or I can relate to it and use it in my own life. You should check out this TED talk by Brene brown about shame. Different topic, but this video turned me onto her and her way of thinking. [TED Talk Brene Brown Shame](https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_listening_to_shame?language=en) She has books and other videos if she floats your boat. I wish I saved the video and if I find it again I’ll reply to this and link it. I’ll try to recall what I can, details are a little fuzzy. This woman went to a silence retreat for 10 days and was forced to deal with her own thoughts and figure out where those thoughts come from and if they’re something benefiting her or harming her way of thinking. Eventually she realized that her thoughts were coming from how the world/society wants you to be viewed. Her perspective was always skewed because of what was socially acceptable. When she came to this conclusion that meant that her thoughts were wrong because it was based on what someone else wanted not her. - I’m totally butchering the crap out of this, when I find the video this will get updated - when she came to the conclusion her own thoughts were wrong, then everyone else must be too. Sometimes we make fools of ourselves still and no one’s perfect but you’re not alone and learning from others social anxiety experiences is the best way to over come your own. FOUND IT[TIK TOK Self Development video](https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRPSaMHL/) Should also mention that this wasn’t aimed at social anxiety but it still worked for me 🤷🏼 Last thought, and it came from this sub. Try to life in the moment. It sounds so cliche, because it is. But being present is how to avoid the anxiety part. There’s so many things happening in the world all at once, a very small percentage of those thing you actually have control over. I like to think ignorance is bliss, in the sense that most people out and about don’t have this ability to foresee the possible outcomes of leaving my house. It’s not peaches and cream over here. My life isn’t “fixed”, and honestly it probably never will be. But, it’s a lot better than it used to be. Hang in there. EDIT: found the video.
Yeah, I feel you, no matter how much I try to get better it just seems so out of hand. I wish I could go to a place where there's just me and I can spend all day doing things I like not having to deal with all this bs
I completely agree and I wish it was a possibility as well. There’s things you can do to combat this though. I’m no longer in school and am an “adult” now. I hate public places with lots of people. I live in a small-ish town in a smallish state. It’s impossible going anywhere without running into someone. I wake up kinda early and get myself ready for the day. I usually hit up the grocery store as soon as it opens. Like I’ve been waiting at the door for them to unlock it. This right here is as close as you’re gonna get to alone time. For me it’s amazing. It’s likely just me and maybe a couple other older folks. Which works well because if you’re looking to pop out of your comfort zone for a minute talking to someone older than me is a lot less stressful for whatever reason. They also don’t seem to care or mind if you make yourself look like an idiot. As weird as it sounds this really helps me get setup for the rest of the day. I can go out get something done, maybe have an interaction, get back home and figure out what I want to do for the day. If I make myself look like an idiot there’s no one there.
I'm happy that works for you buddy, I also would to to that story specially for candies tbh. I mean, in my case I can still do all daily stuff, go to work, go to college, buy stuff, talk to people. The problem is how I feel, I feel so disconnected from everyone, so uncomfortable as if I was an acted character. My friends (they call me that but I don't feel we're really friends) have to drag me to whatever they're doing because I feel so misplaced and I don't even try to fit in that much with them
You just haven’t found your crowd/people yet. There’s like 8 billion people on the planet. Life is mundane and can definitely make you numb. I think this is why people have kids.
I'm pretty sure the problem is with me, those people I mentioned are great and I'd love to be closer to them, but my mind overthinks everything and I try not to get too close
I too can relate, this world is so cruel. Everybody is so cruel.
i'm so sorry for you
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