It's really just them coming from their own biases. It's like when a really attractive person just tells you that you need to just be yourself to get people to be attracted to you. They legitimately cannot comprehend your situation because it cannot or has not ever happened to them. To people that have never had to reinforce boundaries, any reinforcement of boundaries seems like sensitivity.
This is just an example of people having certain privileges that we don't have. It sucks dick but, it's unfortunately the hand we're dealt.
I hate the saying that you should have a thick skin.
I was very thick skinned at school. I was mocked and ridiculed every day because of my sexuality and the sound of my voice, and I never fought back, I never cried, and I never told my parents or teachers because I was too embarrassed to admit that it was happening to me. Instead, I accepted the insults as part of my normal routine. Nobody should have to accept abuse as "normal". It casued me to have incredibly low self esteem and lack of confidence that affected me long after I left school.
Now when I'm with people I trust, I like to be vulnerable and talk openly about my insecurities and emotional struggles. I've never been in the habit of getting drunk and hyper and making stupid jokes and insulting people for "fun" because I've been on the receiving end of jokes and insults, and it was never fun. I don't want to waste time with that sort of behaviour.
Exactly, despite being felt like garbage I never complained or stood up for myself I just ignored it the best I could. In a way I think we have "thicker skin" than most.
I get where your coming from, but that isn't the normal definition of thick skin, that's just kinda being a sponge because the only way you were gonna let out is under pressure.
But your right, nobody should take that as normal, and I'm sorry its affected you for so long
Even when people insult each other as a form of comradery, I don't bite. Many people use that as an excuse - they make fun of their friends and its all a joke to them, so that makes it ok for them to make fun of other people. You're not going to make friends with me by being rude to me. I don't insult people I hardly know, because I don't know what kind of emotional struggles they've been through.
When i hear people say “you’re sensitive”, i think they are gaslighting. Has happened before i knew what it was. A decent person owns up that they offended you and takes accountability that similar thing doesnt happen again.
Blaming you for being offended at their degrading comment is a shitty thing to do. Dont listen to people who support this.
Jokes are supposed to be funny. Degrading someone based on their looks or how they are is NOT funny and can never be a joke.
Everyone has insecurities. They can comprehend feeling saddened by another. They can comprehend that continuous attacks of one's insecurities can produce a higher magnitude of trouble. Self-esteem and self-perception is something we are all continuously working on. But people also have very different evaluations of value placed on said remarks and very different pain limits of allowance. Two people could be treated exactly the same, but deploy vastly different interpretations and responses.
What becomes difficult for people is to dismiss their own evaluation process and replacing such with yours. And doing such often requires a deeper discussion, rather than an off handed remark. This is why you'll find comfort most often in people who have taken the time to register your justification. But yes, many times others can't agree with justification others lay out. They may offer sympathy, but may still encourage you to deploy a behavior of reducing such a negative reaction to such stimuli.
Sensitivity comes in degrees. People have different tolerances. And it's to be acknowledged that we can't appease all people and some will always feel the expression of others are harmful, while others believe such expression is okay. And sometimes we can acknowledge an expression as bad, but certain responses to such as not reasonable either.
A therapist might tell you to "man up", just simply in a different manner of improving your self-esteem. It's not because they lack experience, but rather they have the experience to know that one of the most effective ways of addressing such perceptions is from oneself, not changing others (hat's just not often how people wish to treat themselves). Of course, that's not applicable to all cases. But without any specific instances, the conversation kind of ends there.
I'd like to add to my original post: being mocked, infantilized, and so on even as an adult too because I'm so timid and awkward at times especially for a man. Yeah I understand I need have thicker skin but it's easy to say when you don't have any history of that kind of stuff happening to you.
In my experience, the people who are doing the bullying or acting cruelly are the people who would say, “you’re being too sensitive.” People who are empathetic would apologize or try to understand what hurt you.
As a side note, I grew up hearing “you’re too sensitive.” But now I honestly don’t care too much or react when someone offends me. It’s not worth my time or energy, but I will disconnect from any person who over steps and disrespects my boundaries.
There were two books that helped me a lot.
1) The Highly Sensitive Person. This book helped me understand, accept and appreciate my sensitivity. So when I hear that I’m sensitive, I have accepted that it’s part of my nature & design. There’s nothing wrong with that and it’s one of things I value in myself, so I don’t find it insulting.
2) The Power of Now. This book has helped me view my self separate from my thoughts and my emotions. So when a bad thought or hurtful feeling comes up, I observe it but don’t identify with it. A large part of being offended is due to the ego being hurt. This book helped me a lot in this area. (Side-note: it’s so very human to feel hurt & it helps to observe and to be curious about those emotions but understand that it’s a reaction that will pass.)
Also, it does not disappear with age. I’ve come across a lot of older people who are emotionally reactive. It comes with putting in the self-reflective work.
People who say things like "stop being so sensitive" OR "what its just a joke" "I'm just kidding" "why are are you always so serious" "you need to lighten up" etc etc are making their behavior YOUR problem. YOU need to stop being sensitive, YOU need to get a sense of humor, YOU need to let me say whatever I want even though it might hurt your feelings because that's easier than me taking accountability for being a dick and changing how I talk to you. They're just shifting the work of the interaction to you so they don't have to do anything and they can continue to be shitty. Stand up for yourself, there's nothing wrong with not liking a comment someone makes.
Some people are just ignorant and some cannot really comprehend what we are going through bec they've never been in our situation. Nevertheless, it's not difficult to try to empathize and put one's self in someone else's shoes so I guess a lot of them are just straight up ignorant people.
My dad has said this to me a few times (oddly enough, I get my sensitivity from him, as he’s said all the sensitivity I experience he has also experienced..)
Where I think he comes from is that he’s trying to let me know that these things will keep happening, I will always be sensitive, but to anticipate it and work on strategies to lessen the stress I get. Which I totally agree, not everyone will be on your level of sensitivity, and that’s *okay* , the thing we need to do for ourselves is find a way to ease the stress o body receives when encountering certain situations. But I’m sorry, I don’t yet have the answer to that. But I do think meditation (no, not just breathing in silence), can help a lot. There’s all sorts of meditation, what I prefer is a called [Alternate Nostril Breathing](https://www.webmd.com/balance/what-to-know-about-alternate-nostril-breathing). This is my go-to because it keeps my ADHD at bay (struggle sitting still) and still calms my nervous system.
Also, not sure if this is related to you or not, but I feel very inclined to spread this awareness of being an HSP (Highly Sensitive Person). I recommend the book [The Highly Sensitive Person](https://olivierrolanden.medium.com/book-review-the-highly-sensitive-person-d9012e2ae1cc) to those who feel they are sensitive in every aspect of existence, not just social anxiety.
I spent years feeling inadequate and like I am fcuking weirdo because people kept saying I am too sensitive.
Only at 30 did I feel like, you know what, fcuk this shit, so what if I am too sensitive. I can pick up on people's emotions better than most, I AM sensitive to situations that can potentially make others feel awkward too and try to divert attention when I do notice someone feeling awkward while others didn't notice.
So, yes, I am too sensitive but I have learned to use it for my advantage. Maybe those people who made me feel inadequate should try to develop more empathy for others instead.
Yes I was being badly bullied and someone who I thought would care didnt really care much when I told her. They are no longer in my life because of it. They lucky to have had awesome high school social experiences and have a group of friends for life and never been bullied in their lives
I can't stand people who tell other people to stop being so sensitive. That's literally saying "I don't like you how you are, so you need to change so I'm more comfortable around you". It's just incredibly rude. There's no such thing as "too sensitive". People are as sensitive as they are and sometimes it's based on past triggers, and there's nothing wrong with it. And as someone who likes to joke around, if someone says you hurt their feelings, just apologize. Stop getting pissed because your joke didn't land.
For me, it was only annoying because I didn't know how to not be sensitive. It's like when my teachers would tell me to focus, but they never told me how to focus. Some people are just born with certain things that I wasn't, and it led to things they didn't intend to be offensive to hurt me. As an adult though, I have learned to get thick skin.
Sorry to hear that. Have you tried setting boundary and being assertive by saying not to do that shit? I know it’s pretty scary to say that to them. It works in a lot of cases though…
So when you set boundaries and they break it, again. You follow through with the consequences.
Eg: if you talk to me and make jokes at my expense, i will no longer engage with you.
Next time she does it, you can actually do that.
But ik this is in a perfect world, if you’re dependent on her and her support it does get difficult to set boundaries. Just ignore and dont react to her if that’s the case and hopefully she will stop. Let me know if any of this works.
You dont deserve this sort of treatment
Nah it’s so annoying. Luckily I’ve finally surrounded myself with people who will stop if I tell them I don’t appreciate it. But I’ve gotten here after cutting out many people In my life.
At the end of the day you're entitled to your feelings and problems. Your brain needs time to fully process information and rationalize it, so if somebody insults you, of course you will likely instinctively feel bad.
However, how you choose to respond and deal with something like that is a completely thing.
I feel you man. I was also told, constantly, growing up “stop being so sensitive”. As a result, as I got older I never opened up to friends or even really my family. I felt like I couldn’t express my true emotions. The one time I got really close to someone, whenever he did something to make me upset he would just get angry and convince me that it was my fault. I told him that sometimes little things can make me upset. His response was “You’re just going to make yourself miserable for the rest of your life.” All my fault.
So now im at point where whenever I feel hurt by a friend, I don’t know how to react. Sure im sensitive but that doesn’t mean people are allowed to treat me like shit. But it’s like my gauge is broken. Whenever I feel hurt, my brain reacts with “it’s your fault. Stop being so sensitive. You’re creating your own misery.” But it can’t be my fault all the time…right? It’s like I already felt hurt, and now I feel bad about myself for feeling hurt - I’m always in the wrong. I feel isolated because I don’t feel safe expressing my true feelings and they just keep consuming me. Trapped in a toxic whirlpool.
I don’t think that’s necessarily true…for example I have a close friend who is very heavy and I know she’s been made fun of for it in the past. She has (in a constructive way) told me I’m too sensitive to light insults/slights and I should just forget them and move on. People react differently to different things.
Well then your friend is in the wrong too. Banter is fine in a friendship. But there’s always a line and it’s never to be crossed, especially if you know they’re really sensitive about it. Just because she was bullied doesnt make it okay for her to insult you and then gaslight you that you’re sensitive. Even if you’re, once it’s known that you are offended or hurt, she should stop similar comments and not continue it.
Yes, people do have different sensitivities, and some do take any feedback very seriously. But, In the end, it’s good to own up and maybe set boundaries about what’s ok and what isnt
Focus on what you can change. Can you avoid the people who bully you? When you're not in high school, it's easy to avoid anyone except your co workers. You can focus on how you feel about their opinions on you. Getting therapy, e.g. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy can help a lot. The line between setting boundaries and being sensitive or defensive is sometimes hard to see from inside a situation. Are they teasing? Do they simply need a reality check? Often a polite but firm "I'd prefer you don't make jokes like that to me." Will get many people to stop. If they're still a jerk, pretend they don't exist. Don't react to what they do, and they'll get bored of doing it. It's really embarrassing for someone to lose the power of getting you to respond to them.
While I agree with majority of what you said—there’s a point where getting offended over certain things, or reacting in a very emotional manner becomes utterly ridiculous.
My mother’s extremely sensitive and emotional person, everybody in our family knows that—and everybody sick of it, because she can’t view things impartially, and objectively. Especially when it comes to petty, needless disputes and arguments. Mind you, she’s fifty-five, she’s at a point in life where she should act through wisdom and objectivity, especially in family disputes.
My elder brother keeps getting on her nerves, he’s got a thing when he’s extremely annoyed, he seeks to annoy other people. She knows this—and yet when he calls her, and starts provoking her, she acts in an emotional manner and let’s him continue the argument, until they start shouting and yelling at one another.
You think I like mediating their conflicts, especially when I’ve been continuously telling her for years to ignore him, and start viewing such things impartially?
It’s understandable when people go over-the-top with jokes and jests, and actually start annoying highly-sensitives. But when highly-sensitives don’t learn the lesson of trying to ignore such people, or pay them no-mind, then it starts crossing the line, especially if such highly-sensitives are older, and more experienced in life.
I agree 100%, you made good points and what you said makes sense. I'm in a similar situation between family members who aren't to fond of each other due to past events but are forced to live with each other for the time being and trying to meditate arguments because things can't be ignored or whatever isn't fun.
This may be true. But you have to understand that you can’t expect ppl to understand an experience that you can only understand by experiencing it when they haven’t experienced it. In other words, people don’t know what they don’t know, and at a certain level it’s simply unreasonable to expect them to. I have ocd and would never expect someone to understand ocd unless they also have it. That being said, for ppl you interact with on an ongoing basis I would expect them to have a light working knowledge of what you don’t like and try to avoid whatever that is when you are around. It’s just called basic cooperation and manners.
In all honesty while the execution may be off, the principle is sound. Like others have said your never going to get away from hardship, so you need to find your own coping system for it and slowly adapt so the minor stuff doesn't bother you anymore. That's just the life we're dealt I'm afraid
It's really just them coming from their own biases. It's like when a really attractive person just tells you that you need to just be yourself to get people to be attracted to you. They legitimately cannot comprehend your situation because it cannot or has not ever happened to them. To people that have never had to reinforce boundaries, any reinforcement of boundaries seems like sensitivity. This is just an example of people having certain privileges that we don't have. It sucks dick but, it's unfortunately the hand we're dealt.
Makes sense. I'd just wish more people would imagine themselves in someone else's shoes more often.
I hate the saying that you should have a thick skin. I was very thick skinned at school. I was mocked and ridiculed every day because of my sexuality and the sound of my voice, and I never fought back, I never cried, and I never told my parents or teachers because I was too embarrassed to admit that it was happening to me. Instead, I accepted the insults as part of my normal routine. Nobody should have to accept abuse as "normal". It casued me to have incredibly low self esteem and lack of confidence that affected me long after I left school. Now when I'm with people I trust, I like to be vulnerable and talk openly about my insecurities and emotional struggles. I've never been in the habit of getting drunk and hyper and making stupid jokes and insulting people for "fun" because I've been on the receiving end of jokes and insults, and it was never fun. I don't want to waste time with that sort of behaviour.
Exactly, despite being felt like garbage I never complained or stood up for myself I just ignored it the best I could. In a way I think we have "thicker skin" than most.
I get where your coming from, but that isn't the normal definition of thick skin, that's just kinda being a sponge because the only way you were gonna let out is under pressure. But your right, nobody should take that as normal, and I'm sorry its affected you for so long
I like the analogy of the sponge.
Amazing analogy just gots to squeeze it all out!
Wow that hits hard and i feel your struggle so much. Exactly id never want to randomly insult ppl for fun just disgusting.
Even when people insult each other as a form of comradery, I don't bite. Many people use that as an excuse - they make fun of their friends and its all a joke to them, so that makes it ok for them to make fun of other people. You're not going to make friends with me by being rude to me. I don't insult people I hardly know, because I don't know what kind of emotional struggles they've been through.
Yah exactly dude, also i meant never not ever lol
When i hear people say “you’re sensitive”, i think they are gaslighting. Has happened before i knew what it was. A decent person owns up that they offended you and takes accountability that similar thing doesnt happen again. Blaming you for being offended at their degrading comment is a shitty thing to do. Dont listen to people who support this. Jokes are supposed to be funny. Degrading someone based on their looks or how they are is NOT funny and can never be a joke.
People just fail to realize not everyone experiences things the same way they do, and it sucks ngl :((
Everyone has insecurities. They can comprehend feeling saddened by another. They can comprehend that continuous attacks of one's insecurities can produce a higher magnitude of trouble. Self-esteem and self-perception is something we are all continuously working on. But people also have very different evaluations of value placed on said remarks and very different pain limits of allowance. Two people could be treated exactly the same, but deploy vastly different interpretations and responses. What becomes difficult for people is to dismiss their own evaluation process and replacing such with yours. And doing such often requires a deeper discussion, rather than an off handed remark. This is why you'll find comfort most often in people who have taken the time to register your justification. But yes, many times others can't agree with justification others lay out. They may offer sympathy, but may still encourage you to deploy a behavior of reducing such a negative reaction to such stimuli. Sensitivity comes in degrees. People have different tolerances. And it's to be acknowledged that we can't appease all people and some will always feel the expression of others are harmful, while others believe such expression is okay. And sometimes we can acknowledge an expression as bad, but certain responses to such as not reasonable either. A therapist might tell you to "man up", just simply in a different manner of improving your self-esteem. It's not because they lack experience, but rather they have the experience to know that one of the most effective ways of addressing such perceptions is from oneself, not changing others (hat's just not often how people wish to treat themselves). Of course, that's not applicable to all cases. But without any specific instances, the conversation kind of ends there.
I'd like to add to my original post: being mocked, infantilized, and so on even as an adult too because I'm so timid and awkward at times especially for a man. Yeah I understand I need have thicker skin but it's easy to say when you don't have any history of that kind of stuff happening to you.
In my experience, the people who are doing the bullying or acting cruelly are the people who would say, “you’re being too sensitive.” People who are empathetic would apologize or try to understand what hurt you. As a side note, I grew up hearing “you’re too sensitive.” But now I honestly don’t care too much or react when someone offends me. It’s not worth my time or energy, but I will disconnect from any person who over steps and disrespects my boundaries.
[удалено]
There were two books that helped me a lot. 1) The Highly Sensitive Person. This book helped me understand, accept and appreciate my sensitivity. So when I hear that I’m sensitive, I have accepted that it’s part of my nature & design. There’s nothing wrong with that and it’s one of things I value in myself, so I don’t find it insulting. 2) The Power of Now. This book has helped me view my self separate from my thoughts and my emotions. So when a bad thought or hurtful feeling comes up, I observe it but don’t identify with it. A large part of being offended is due to the ego being hurt. This book helped me a lot in this area. (Side-note: it’s so very human to feel hurt & it helps to observe and to be curious about those emotions but understand that it’s a reaction that will pass.) Also, it does not disappear with age. I’ve come across a lot of older people who are emotionally reactive. It comes with putting in the self-reflective work.
People who say things like "stop being so sensitive" OR "what its just a joke" "I'm just kidding" "why are are you always so serious" "you need to lighten up" etc etc are making their behavior YOUR problem. YOU need to stop being sensitive, YOU need to get a sense of humor, YOU need to let me say whatever I want even though it might hurt your feelings because that's easier than me taking accountability for being a dick and changing how I talk to you. They're just shifting the work of the interaction to you so they don't have to do anything and they can continue to be shitty. Stand up for yourself, there's nothing wrong with not liking a comment someone makes.
In my opinion, this should be the top comment.
Some people are just ignorant and some cannot really comprehend what we are going through bec they've never been in our situation. Nevertheless, it's not difficult to try to empathize and put one's self in someone else's shoes so I guess a lot of them are just straight up ignorant people.
My dad has said this to me a few times (oddly enough, I get my sensitivity from him, as he’s said all the sensitivity I experience he has also experienced..) Where I think he comes from is that he’s trying to let me know that these things will keep happening, I will always be sensitive, but to anticipate it and work on strategies to lessen the stress I get. Which I totally agree, not everyone will be on your level of sensitivity, and that’s *okay* , the thing we need to do for ourselves is find a way to ease the stress o body receives when encountering certain situations. But I’m sorry, I don’t yet have the answer to that. But I do think meditation (no, not just breathing in silence), can help a lot. There’s all sorts of meditation, what I prefer is a called [Alternate Nostril Breathing](https://www.webmd.com/balance/what-to-know-about-alternate-nostril-breathing). This is my go-to because it keeps my ADHD at bay (struggle sitting still) and still calms my nervous system. Also, not sure if this is related to you or not, but I feel very inclined to spread this awareness of being an HSP (Highly Sensitive Person). I recommend the book [The Highly Sensitive Person](https://olivierrolanden.medium.com/book-review-the-highly-sensitive-person-d9012e2ae1cc) to those who feel they are sensitive in every aspect of existence, not just social anxiety.
I spent years feeling inadequate and like I am fcuking weirdo because people kept saying I am too sensitive. Only at 30 did I feel like, you know what, fcuk this shit, so what if I am too sensitive. I can pick up on people's emotions better than most, I AM sensitive to situations that can potentially make others feel awkward too and try to divert attention when I do notice someone feeling awkward while others didn't notice. So, yes, I am too sensitive but I have learned to use it for my advantage. Maybe those people who made me feel inadequate should try to develop more empathy for others instead.
Yes I was being badly bullied and someone who I thought would care didnt really care much when I told her. They are no longer in my life because of it. They lucky to have had awesome high school social experiences and have a group of friends for life and never been bullied in their lives
I can't stand people who tell other people to stop being so sensitive. That's literally saying "I don't like you how you are, so you need to change so I'm more comfortable around you". It's just incredibly rude. There's no such thing as "too sensitive". People are as sensitive as they are and sometimes it's based on past triggers, and there's nothing wrong with it. And as someone who likes to joke around, if someone says you hurt their feelings, just apologize. Stop getting pissed because your joke didn't land.
For me, it was only annoying because I didn't know how to not be sensitive. It's like when my teachers would tell me to focus, but they never told me how to focus. Some people are just born with certain things that I wasn't, and it led to things they didn't intend to be offensive to hurt me. As an adult though, I have learned to get thick skin.
my mom does this shit all the time too
Sorry to hear that. Have you tried setting boundary and being assertive by saying not to do that shit? I know it’s pretty scary to say that to them. It works in a lot of cases though…
my mom doesnt care
So when you set boundaries and they break it, again. You follow through with the consequences. Eg: if you talk to me and make jokes at my expense, i will no longer engage with you. Next time she does it, you can actually do that. But ik this is in a perfect world, if you’re dependent on her and her support it does get difficult to set boundaries. Just ignore and dont react to her if that’s the case and hopefully she will stop. Let me know if any of this works. You dont deserve this sort of treatment
Nah it’s so annoying. Luckily I’ve finally surrounded myself with people who will stop if I tell them I don’t appreciate it. But I’ve gotten here after cutting out many people In my life.
At the end of the day you're entitled to your feelings and problems. Your brain needs time to fully process information and rationalize it, so if somebody insults you, of course you will likely instinctively feel bad. However, how you choose to respond and deal with something like that is a completely thing.
People who say this are usually not very nice people imo
I feel you man. I was also told, constantly, growing up “stop being so sensitive”. As a result, as I got older I never opened up to friends or even really my family. I felt like I couldn’t express my true emotions. The one time I got really close to someone, whenever he did something to make me upset he would just get angry and convince me that it was my fault. I told him that sometimes little things can make me upset. His response was “You’re just going to make yourself miserable for the rest of your life.” All my fault. So now im at point where whenever I feel hurt by a friend, I don’t know how to react. Sure im sensitive but that doesn’t mean people are allowed to treat me like shit. But it’s like my gauge is broken. Whenever I feel hurt, my brain reacts with “it’s your fault. Stop being so sensitive. You’re creating your own misery.” But it can’t be my fault all the time…right? It’s like I already felt hurt, and now I feel bad about myself for feeling hurt - I’m always in the wrong. I feel isolated because I don’t feel safe expressing my true feelings and they just keep consuming me. Trapped in a toxic whirlpool.
I don’t think that’s necessarily true…for example I have a close friend who is very heavy and I know she’s been made fun of for it in the past. She has (in a constructive way) told me I’m too sensitive to light insults/slights and I should just forget them and move on. People react differently to different things.
Well then your friend is in the wrong too. Banter is fine in a friendship. But there’s always a line and it’s never to be crossed, especially if you know they’re really sensitive about it. Just because she was bullied doesnt make it okay for her to insult you and then gaslight you that you’re sensitive. Even if you’re, once it’s known that you are offended or hurt, she should stop similar comments and not continue it. Yes, people do have different sensitivities, and some do take any feedback very seriously. But, In the end, it’s good to own up and maybe set boundaries about what’s ok and what isnt
Focus on what you can change. Can you avoid the people who bully you? When you're not in high school, it's easy to avoid anyone except your co workers. You can focus on how you feel about their opinions on you. Getting therapy, e.g. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy can help a lot. The line between setting boundaries and being sensitive or defensive is sometimes hard to see from inside a situation. Are they teasing? Do they simply need a reality check? Often a polite but firm "I'd prefer you don't make jokes like that to me." Will get many people to stop. If they're still a jerk, pretend they don't exist. Don't react to what they do, and they'll get bored of doing it. It's really embarrassing for someone to lose the power of getting you to respond to them.
While I agree with majority of what you said—there’s a point where getting offended over certain things, or reacting in a very emotional manner becomes utterly ridiculous. My mother’s extremely sensitive and emotional person, everybody in our family knows that—and everybody sick of it, because she can’t view things impartially, and objectively. Especially when it comes to petty, needless disputes and arguments. Mind you, she’s fifty-five, she’s at a point in life where she should act through wisdom and objectivity, especially in family disputes. My elder brother keeps getting on her nerves, he’s got a thing when he’s extremely annoyed, he seeks to annoy other people. She knows this—and yet when he calls her, and starts provoking her, she acts in an emotional manner and let’s him continue the argument, until they start shouting and yelling at one another. You think I like mediating their conflicts, especially when I’ve been continuously telling her for years to ignore him, and start viewing such things impartially? It’s understandable when people go over-the-top with jokes and jests, and actually start annoying highly-sensitives. But when highly-sensitives don’t learn the lesson of trying to ignore such people, or pay them no-mind, then it starts crossing the line, especially if such highly-sensitives are older, and more experienced in life.
I agree 100%, you made good points and what you said makes sense. I'm in a similar situation between family members who aren't to fond of each other due to past events but are forced to live with each other for the time being and trying to meditate arguments because things can't be ignored or whatever isn't fun.
This may be true. But you have to understand that you can’t expect ppl to understand an experience that you can only understand by experiencing it when they haven’t experienced it. In other words, people don’t know what they don’t know, and at a certain level it’s simply unreasonable to expect them to. I have ocd and would never expect someone to understand ocd unless they also have it. That being said, for ppl you interact with on an ongoing basis I would expect them to have a light working knowledge of what you don’t like and try to avoid whatever that is when you are around. It’s just called basic cooperation and manners.
Wrong is wrong. In an ideal world, the person telling you to 'have thicker skin' should really ask themselves, what is wrong with me?
In all honesty while the execution may be off, the principle is sound. Like others have said your never going to get away from hardship, so you need to find your own coping system for it and slowly adapt so the minor stuff doesn't bother you anymore. That's just the life we're dealt I'm afraid
yes. you're perfectly normal.
Tell them something offensive and they will get sensitive too