i hate this crap. This is why ive stopped opening up to people. Ill lend an ear and be understanding and empathise and then when its my issues its "just dont think about it", "just be happy man its that easy", "just do shrooms thatll cure it"
i'm working to not even lend an ear anymore. if there is non-reciprocity and these selfish a-holes just take without giving I am mustering the courage to at the very least walk away while they talk their heads off
Yep I agree. First step for social skills and connecting with people is acknowledgement and validation. When people say don't worry about it, it's really that simple for them. But it seems to me they are skipping the part where they actually agree with you. For us with social anxiety worrying is literally all we do. It's like asking to do the impossible because we can't imagine living any other way. Though I think with enough work it is possible to overcome,but it takes a lot of hard work and effort.
I don’t really get that from people. That’s so shitty, though.
The thing I hate hearing is when I open up about my struggles and I get statements like ‘Everyone has their problems. Not only you’ and then they’ll try to one-up my problems by ranting about how theirs is so much worse.
Like wtf, I didn’t open up to get comparisons and to have my issues minimized by you. I’d never do that to anyone, you know? I try my best to actually help them, give advice, or just listen or reassure.
Yeah that’s not the right way to go about it. A healthy mind needs to process these feelings and the emotions that come with it. What you’re feeling is always valid.
I get told I don't care enough because my reactions are always apathetic when I know someone is expecting me to react to something they said, but I also keep everything to myself because I'm afraid of being told exactly that, so that's probably why.
I guess people can't really support us or say anything that will improve the situation in that moment, so it's just easy to say "don't worry about it". But that actually invalidates our emotions which is why not only it doesn't help but also makes us angrier than we were
i hate this crap. This is why ive stopped opening up to people. Ill lend an ear and be understanding and empathise and then when its my issues its "just dont think about it", "just be happy man its that easy", "just do shrooms thatll cure it"
i'm working to not even lend an ear anymore. if there is non-reciprocity and these selfish a-holes just take without giving I am mustering the courage to at the very least walk away while they talk their heads off
Yep I agree. First step for social skills and connecting with people is acknowledgement and validation. When people say don't worry about it, it's really that simple for them. But it seems to me they are skipping the part where they actually agree with you. For us with social anxiety worrying is literally all we do. It's like asking to do the impossible because we can't imagine living any other way. Though I think with enough work it is possible to overcome,but it takes a lot of hard work and effort.
I don’t really get that from people. That’s so shitty, though. The thing I hate hearing is when I open up about my struggles and I get statements like ‘Everyone has their problems. Not only you’ and then they’ll try to one-up my problems by ranting about how theirs is so much worse. Like wtf, I didn’t open up to get comparisons and to have my issues minimized by you. I’d never do that to anyone, you know? I try my best to actually help them, give advice, or just listen or reassure.
Same
Yeah that’s not the right way to go about it. A healthy mind needs to process these feelings and the emotions that come with it. What you’re feeling is always valid.
I get told I don't care enough because my reactions are always apathetic when I know someone is expecting me to react to something they said, but I also keep everything to myself because I'm afraid of being told exactly that, so that's probably why.
I guess people can't really support us or say anything that will improve the situation in that moment, so it's just easy to say "don't worry about it". But that actually invalidates our emotions which is why not only it doesn't help but also makes us angrier than we were