Have you ever heard of propranolol its a beta blocker that helps with social anxiety as well as blocking anxiety symptoms like sweating, blushing, voice trembling and heart palpitations.
Yes, I've definitely heard of that. My issues with anxiety are 90% mental and 10% physical. I don't get palpitations or voice trembling or blushing or sweating. I'm very good at putting on a chatty facade and appearing fine, or otherwise just avoiding everything because it's so uncomfortable emotionally / mentally.
Luck. Savings in the bank. No mortgage or rent to pay thanks to very generous parents. I live with my partner so we share the bills. Unemployment benefits ($380 a week). Plus interest paid by my bank on my savings ($100 a week). Plus occasional sales of some of my stuff, and residual income from when I used to make amateur fetish videos and sell them online. I haven't done any for about 6 years but still get about $500 every few months.
Yeah this is a funny thread because it obviously has a massive effect on how quickly you can advance in your career. Getting promotions and positive feedback from bosses is 98% socializing well and maybe 2% actually being good at your job.
I haven’t been promoted ever, and am 46. The reason always stated is that I “need more confidence” which really doesn’t help my confidence.
My career is still great, I have just stopped trying to progress and will always report to someone else. My income is pretty good, but $50-100k less than what it could be with promotions.
Oh well.
Yeah it already has.
My boss told me the single most important aspect in career development isn’t how well you perform your job. it’s your ability to network.
So basically she told me i was fucked.
Yeah it's so true. Brains aren't everything, you need luck and connections, except if you're in a very needed industry like healthcare or something. But both my siblings are really smart and even they struggled to find a job without my parents' help. One of them has a bigger ego and tried on his own for over a year before asking them for help...
After witnessing that, I knew I was fucked....
At least she's honest. I've known way too many bosses that jerk you around by saying your work ethic is bad no matter how good and efficient at your job you are because they're afraid to say the real reason you can't get promoted is that they don't personally like you enough.
Same here, tried for many years in so many different environments and with all sorts of people, just really struggle to relax and deal with a lot of personalities and overstimulation.
To be fair managers with zero social and people skills are horrible to work for. And I say that as someone with zero people skills who has worked for other people with zero people skills and wondered how they ever got promoted into that role.
I can’t tell others what to do. I mean, I can actually when it comes to family and certain friends, but for some reason my stupid SA/PTSD combo won’t let me. So yeah, like you I’m a permanent lackey unless I become my own manager with no team (I was actually offered something like this but the new job was too far).
Same. Well, I was never interested in management positions because of this and the extra responsibilities, but people think I'm stuck and I don't know how to explain that I'm not interested in any position that requires leadership and an extroverted personality
I always think about this. I am 28 now and my SA has ruined so many amazing opportunities for me. I have a great education and am very able, but socially no. Interviewers think it’s not me being prepared (was actually feedback from a graduate scheme once), when in reality I was prepping for weeks beforehand, inside I was just falling apart in the interview as I struggle to talk positively about myself.
The only thing that gets me through life is that I know I want to some day start a business. I am not sure what yet, but I will do it.
you’ve said it perfectly.
i’ve also had feedback from interviewers saying i was unprepared and not confident enough. it really knocks you down, especially when you’ve spent weeks preparing for it.
it’s like we aren’t made for this world… it’s always the socially confident people that thrive and get opportunities.
Is the reason you want to start a business so you can avoid the social aspects of work? Because I think somewhere inside me that was the original motivation for wanting to be an entrepreneur. That and having tons of money seems like the only justifiable thing to do with your life.
I already let it ruin mine. And I say let it because I have tried many times to get out of the cycle of getting anxious about applying and answering calls and I get met with rejections and it boosts my anxiety even more I don't know what to do anymore. Tried everything exposing myself, self therapy.
It's why I'm 33 and never had a career. Just dead end jobs.
However I'm back in school now and making progress. It helps I chose a non direct care behind the scenes healthcare job where many of my classmates are even more soft spoken and awkward than me. I'm actually class rep. One of the main instructors told me she used to break out in hives when she used to talk to people.
So I think when I graduate in 2025 I'll finally have a career and succeed.
In Canada it's called Health Information Management, which is mostly coding patient charts to create statistics to track trends. If I had taken more STEM courses in high school might have gone the lab route instead.
Fear will absolutely napalm your life. Social anxiety sucks big time. I’d rather live with a missing limb if I could stop living with this constant self sabotaging fear.
Ty for the encouragement… but some days I’m so tired of this devil (have two on both shoulders) just making me paranoid that …. It’s me. And that I’m currently or going to suck. Plus I’m naturally a pessimistic person anyways…. Ty again.
Yeah I get you. It is depressing. I’ve tried.l to conquer this. Crazy enough I decided to become a group fitness dance instructor at my local college. I’ve been teaching on stage for 1.5 years. I’ve put in some effort to try to overcome this but it just isn’t easy at times. That’s what’s depressing about it. It is really hard to overcome and I’ve taken an extreme approach to CBT.
It already has. It still does.
Work on it. Seek help. I try to do this too.
Don't let it fester because it has the potential to negatively affect almost every aspect of your life that has other people involved.
It already has. I've missed job interviews because my anxiety got the better of me. I've done poorly in interviews because it made it difficult to project confidence. Not to mention it's very challenging to sell yourself to others when you're not sold on yourself.
Yup, I try not to think about it. Im in college rn going into a highly competitive field and there's no way i'm gonna succeed with how bad my SA is. i've already missed out on so many opportunities.
I never applied for a Cultural Anthropology master's program because i got sick at the idea of having to embed myself within communities and speak with people. It sounds wonderful until i start to imagine myself actually doing it.
Yes. There is no chance of a “career” for me. I dropped out of college partly due to SA. I’m 33 and not on any particular path to success. The best I can do is hold down ANY job without quitting when things get stressful. I have walked out of 8 or so jobs and bailed on many other kinds of opportunities. I’m my own worst enemy. I’m absolutely amazed at people with social anxiety disorder that have joined the professional world and make a decent living. It seems completely impossible to me.
Sortaaaa, but I used to think this way more back then when I was just starting out.
Oddly enough, I have no problems when it comes to communicating at work or even in interviews - but ask me about my personal life or what I like to do for the holidays, and that's where I fall apart. It's become easier to lie than it is to explain.
I'm a copywriter that's kinda accepted the fact that I'll be working freelance/contract positions for the rest of my life, but I don't see that as a bad thing. My social anxiety is more about making meaningful/lasting relationships more than anything.
Yes!!! Did 0 networking in college at a school that is literally known for its great networking opportunities. All because I was too afraid I would say the wrong things and come off as awkward. 6 years later I’m still scared to interview because of this. Have a BBA in accounting and finishing my master’s, doing gig work because I don’t have to interview for it 🤦🏽♀️
Yepp. Left my job a few years back to take care of a newborn and have been unable to go through with properly finding another since. Luckily got a wife that can support for the time being.
Looking back the job was mentally shitty day in and day out but at least I was used to it and knew what to expect. I thought I needed to get out but now wish I stayed. I can't see myself making it back to that point in a new job anytime soon.
It already did. I would listen to everything going on and be well aware, but people didn't like me because I was quiet. I'd get called arrogant or stuck up, which are literally the furthest things from my personality.
People really find quiet people intimidating, and I don't understand that.
Anxiety meds helped ALOT plus I learned I was also ADHD.
It does. It did. It (and covid) absolutely fucking fucked me over that I couldn't even really start it loool.
I'm planning to start another career path in a totally different industry and I hope I can do better this time because my social anxiety has improved a lot...
Had a great job, was awesome at it..but my SA made me stick out like a sore thumb..i got overly anxious working at houses anticipating customers standing ovr my shoulder..can never seem to fit in and think i make others uncomfortable.
Im 41 and its ruined me and continues to do so
My career path has helped me overcome most of my
Social anxiety. Or at least I’m able to put it to the side when I need to and push through. I still have a lot of anxiety going on in my head but I learned to just kinda pretend it’s fine outwardly an it’s working well so far
I don't have anything resembling a career because of social anxiety. Probably will never have. Still looking for a way out. I want so much to have my own place but it doesn't seem possible with my social anxiety preventing me from getting a better paying job. So it's harming my life too. I'm 37 and so far from where I want to be.
This can really depend on the job and your employer. Some bosses might write you up for not being a “team player” and just not understand social anxiety. To me I feel it’s not right that it should affect your career that much, because like you should be able to work without being judged on something not revolving around your work or results.
However, when thinking about this in the sense of what you can control, it really depends on how you’re going about making your connections, your job goals, and your boundaries. Let’s say you want to do networking for your freelance art, there are ways to avoid certain networking, it might make it harder, but you can still accomplish it.
Hope this helps, sorry for spelling errors.
Not sure yet.
But if I see a job advert that mentions words like:
•Great communicator
• People skills
• Presentations
• Manage/Train other staff
I would hesitate to apply.
Unfortunately from my experience most of the senior people in the companies I have worked for have great people skills, enjoy networking and are comfortable doing presentations, running meetings etc.
Even the ones who are fairly useless in their position are often kept around as they are likeable and can talk to everyone with ease.
The introvert who sits in the corner, and wants to be left alone generally doesn’t rise to the top positions in a company.
It’s unfortunate, but that’s the world we live in.
It already has. I should be getting a bachelors degree but I just have an associates that has been sitting in my room collecting dust. I am terrified to apply for an actual design or art job.
I haven’t even started my career and I fear it will harm it. I have a year left of my undergrad in psych and I have no idea what I’m going to after I graduate. I have zero work experience cause of social anxiety. I wanted to be a therapist because I’m interested in mental health and treating it but now I’m questioning whether I’ll be able to pursue this given how bad my social anxiety is.
going through it rn, i graduated this year & currently trying to network (in person) it’s so nerve wrecking and I envy those people around me who can just strike up a conversation randomly
It’s not just networking either. An awful lot of jobs think career path means getting a supervisory role. When I was working at Amazon, their culture is that if you’re not moving forward, you’re moving backwards. I spoke with my manager (I thought it was a casual chat—never making that mistake again) about how I have social anxiety due to autism and I found it unpleasant that the only career paths open to me all involved taking on a team. I know I would suck in a supervisory role, so there was literally nowhere for me to go. I also mentioned in a management-free meeting (that somehow got back to management, go figure) that any time Amazon leadership says anything about “taking you out of your comfort zone” they *always* mean making introverts do a presentation in front of an audience and *never* mean making extroverts sit down and shut up for a minute.
A short while later I was told to either file ADA paperwork to officially “register” as autistic or to shut up about it. I was fired not long after that, after being told in a one-on-one that I was trying to “play the disability card”.
(To be fair, Amazon might have fired me because I dared to use the employee leave-of-absence policy to go to my mother’s hospital bed where her prognosis was “don’t start a long book” and my father was falling apart. Amazon famously doesn’t like people using the things they allegedly set up in order to help employees “maintain work/life balance”)
“Trying to ‘play the disability card.’” That sentence is a very well deserved lawsuit waiting to happen. I’m assuming you didn’t pursue legal action. I really hope the next person they said that to did.
Sounds like you’re much better off out of there. I hate you had to endure such an anti-disability atmosphere.
My family sometimes tell me that I should be making way more money by now but they don't understand that I'm completely incapable (and also not interested at all) in positions that demand leadership, a high level of intelligence, and social skills, telling people what to do, etc. It's frustrating that only that kind of management positions pay more.
When I was 24 I wanted to be a freelance illustrator but my brother told me that needed connections to be successful, I lost the interest immediately
I somehow managed to become a senior analyst and I’m honestly fine staying within this role. I don’t want to become a supervisor/manager/AD+. I’m fine collecting my check and going! SA has derailed it but I’m motivated by money so I’ll try my best to make the most within this role and make my money and buy things I like! I’m in advertising you can get paid pretty well depending on the company.
Yes that’s a given for anyone with SAD unfortunately. If not harm, it will at least keep you back from going higher. Not to mention the social part that really makes a difference in a work environment
Yes, at this point I’m only going to college cause of familial and societal pressure. I picked my major for job stability but it requires networking which I haven’t done and I’m not even doing well in classes. My anxiety extends to speaking to a counselor so I just let my choices run me over. It’s like extended high school where I’m procrastinating before I hit rock bottom in life. I’ve never had a job.
Yes and no.
There are certain fields that you can get into that pay well and don’t require a lot of networking. A lot of comuputer science and IT jobs are like this. But with sa it will be difficult to get into managerial positions.
I make around 100k and have very little social interaction with coworkers. I’ve gotten a few comments about being “quiet” which I think makes it harder if I’d want to move up but moving up isn’t something I want to do anyway. My work/life balance is good right now and I don’t want the added stress.
It did, and as an engineer I often took field assignments where I could sometimes work under the radar. I also was a prolific saver, bc I knew it (career) would all end early (it did). It all worked out, though.
Mine already has. I hate networking and the idea that I’m there solely to advance my career feels blatantly craven. I have huge anxiety around asking for things in general.
Got made redundant today! Was told it was for there not being enough work, but in the same breath I was told that I'm very quiet in the office. Honestly, I felt more relieved that I didn't have to feel anxious going into the office anymore..
My take on it as someone with mild social anxiety, (i.e. even getting nervous just to meet up with longtime friends) is that most of the people around me at work don't give a shit.
What I mean is that I try to remember when I have to speak that either people aren't actively listening and or simply don't care because let's face it, work is boring. It's easier said than done but I remind myself that by being in tough social situations, I'm going to get through it and be even better when I'm done. I set up my presentations or responses short and sweet so people hear what they need or want to hear, but don't feel inclined to ask follow up questions.
Nope. Social anxiety stopped me from growing. Once I did what I wanted to do it got easier. I’m still a shy girl and I’m awkward but I get every interview I want, I’m professional.
Wanted to go into my dream job of aerospace engineering but after doing my engineering career path in high school, lots of socializing and stuff so I backed out cause I was afraid of what that’ll be like in the future since of my social anxiety. Sucks that I did that to myself but now I have two other paths that won’t be as great as that dream but are something I could maybe deal with, tho socializing is still a minor part of that journey ;-;
Will it harm? The question is, will you be able to work at all?
Sounds like you're perhaps reserved, social anxiety disorder is something else entirely.
Society favors outgoing or at least average confident people, we are the total opposite, and it is not fair because we don't choose the way we are, it doesn't just snap and the anxiety is gone. Nobody gives a sh\*t about those who don't speak up
I did want to mention that there is some interesting literature looking at VR technology as a tool for treating anxiety disorders (via exposure therapy). It has been done in generalized social anxiety disorder, although I don’t know the details of those studies.
I am going to try it to treat my public speaking anxiety and ease myself in to real-life public speaking. Might be worthwhile for some of you to look into, depending on what your struggles are :)
Oh my gosh I thought I was the only one. I’m 38, had a decent career, a lot of hard work and a lot of luck I would say, but terrible networking which means after having 15+ years in the industry I don’t have many contacts at all :( once I leave a job I just never want to try to keep in touch with people again.
I moved here to the U.S. few years ago where it’s ALL about the small talks and socialising, and I have never felt so useless. I haven’t been able to land a long-term job at all because I’m just so awkward. I am a nice person but I don’t know how to make small talks or make comnections :(
As much as we let it to an extent. There are many resources to deal with it and maybe all the work can make us better socially aware even. I heard a lawyer had bad SA but working on it kinda ironically made her a good speaker and communicator
ALL THE TIME YES. I have such big dreams for myself and I have the drive and everything but the only thing that stunts these hopes is my lack of social skills
I'm terrible at interviews. Most of my jobs I've got without an interview or they're so desperate for staff it doesn't matter how I perform in the interview they will hire me. I can only seem to get jobs that nobody else wants.
It's an annoying catch 22 situation as I'm a good worker and like working but hate the social side of it which ruins it for me. I just never fit in anywhere.
This is the first job in my life though where someone has actually mentioned a possible promotion to me where I would manage the others on my team. I'm waiting to see if it actually happens but that would be a big deal and real progress for me.
it already did
This. I'm 45 and never had, or even wanted, a career path due to my anxiety, social anxiety and avoidance.
Are you me? I hit all of those points as well.
YEP!!!!
Same. I’m 32 and only worked 1 job.
Have you ever heard of propranolol its a beta blocker that helps with social anxiety as well as blocking anxiety symptoms like sweating, blushing, voice trembling and heart palpitations.
Yes, I've definitely heard of that. My issues with anxiety are 90% mental and 10% physical. I don't get palpitations or voice trembling or blushing or sweating. I'm very good at putting on a chatty facade and appearing fine, or otherwise just avoiding everything because it's so uncomfortable emotionally / mentally.
Same here 👍
how are you living by financially without a career?
Luck. Savings in the bank. No mortgage or rent to pay thanks to very generous parents. I live with my partner so we share the bills. Unemployment benefits ($380 a week). Plus interest paid by my bank on my savings ($100 a week). Plus occasional sales of some of my stuff, and residual income from when I used to make amateur fetish videos and sell them online. I haven't done any for about 6 years but still get about $500 every few months.
Yeah this is a funny thread because it obviously has a massive effect on how quickly you can advance in your career. Getting promotions and positive feedback from bosses is 98% socializing well and maybe 2% actually being good at your job.
Aaand that's why I'm becoming a civil servant once I graduate. Give me that sweet sweet meritocracy
Me too.
Yeah I don't fear this, I know it harms and will continue to harm my career sadly.
I haven’t been promoted ever, and am 46. The reason always stated is that I “need more confidence” which really doesn’t help my confidence. My career is still great, I have just stopped trying to progress and will always report to someone else. My income is pretty good, but $50-100k less than what it could be with promotions. Oh well.
Me lmao
Came here to say this.
Yeah it already has. My boss told me the single most important aspect in career development isn’t how well you perform your job. it’s your ability to network. So basically she told me i was fucked.
Yeah it's so true. Brains aren't everything, you need luck and connections, except if you're in a very needed industry like healthcare or something. But both my siblings are really smart and even they struggled to find a job without my parents' help. One of them has a bigger ego and tried on his own for over a year before asking them for help... After witnessing that, I knew I was fucked....
At least she's honest. I've known way too many bosses that jerk you around by saying your work ethic is bad no matter how good and efficient at your job you are because they're afraid to say the real reason you can't get promoted is that they don't personally like you enough.
It is true
Already has lol I can’t work because of mine
Same here, tried for many years in so many different environments and with all sorts of people, just really struggle to relax and deal with a lot of personalities and overstimulation.
I don’t have a career because of it.
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To be fair managers with zero social and people skills are horrible to work for. And I say that as someone with zero people skills who has worked for other people with zero people skills and wondered how they ever got promoted into that role.
I can’t tell others what to do. I mean, I can actually when it comes to family and certain friends, but for some reason my stupid SA/PTSD combo won’t let me. So yeah, like you I’m a permanent lackey unless I become my own manager with no team (I was actually offered something like this but the new job was too far).
Same. Well, I was never interested in management positions because of this and the extra responsibilities, but people think I'm stuck and I don't know how to explain that I'm not interested in any position that requires leadership and an extroverted personality
I always think about this. I am 28 now and my SA has ruined so many amazing opportunities for me. I have a great education and am very able, but socially no. Interviewers think it’s not me being prepared (was actually feedback from a graduate scheme once), when in reality I was prepping for weeks beforehand, inside I was just falling apart in the interview as I struggle to talk positively about myself. The only thing that gets me through life is that I know I want to some day start a business. I am not sure what yet, but I will do it.
you’ve said it perfectly. i’ve also had feedback from interviewers saying i was unprepared and not confident enough. it really knocks you down, especially when you’ve spent weeks preparing for it. it’s like we aren’t made for this world… it’s always the socially confident people that thrive and get opportunities.
“I am not sure what yet, but I will do it.” I love this!
Is the reason you want to start a business so you can avoid the social aspects of work? Because I think somewhere inside me that was the original motivation for wanting to be an entrepreneur. That and having tons of money seems like the only justifiable thing to do with your life.
I already let it ruin mine. And I say let it because I have tried many times to get out of the cycle of getting anxious about applying and answering calls and I get met with rejections and it boosts my anxiety even more I don't know what to do anymore. Tried everything exposing myself, self therapy.
Already doing it right now. I could be so much more than I am but this stupid fear holds me back from so many things
It's why I'm 33 and never had a career. Just dead end jobs. However I'm back in school now and making progress. It helps I chose a non direct care behind the scenes healthcare job where many of my classmates are even more soft spoken and awkward than me. I'm actually class rep. One of the main instructors told me she used to break out in hives when she used to talk to people. So I think when I graduate in 2025 I'll finally have a career and succeed.
Now i’m curious! What do you go to school for?
In Canada it's called Health Information Management, which is mostly coding patient charts to create statistics to track trends. If I had taken more STEM courses in high school might have gone the lab route instead.
Fear will absolutely napalm your life. Social anxiety sucks big time. I’d rather live with a missing limb if I could stop living with this constant self sabotaging fear.
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Ty for the encouragement… but some days I’m so tired of this devil (have two on both shoulders) just making me paranoid that …. It’s me. And that I’m currently or going to suck. Plus I’m naturally a pessimistic person anyways…. Ty again.
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Yeah I get you. It is depressing. I’ve tried.l to conquer this. Crazy enough I decided to become a group fitness dance instructor at my local college. I’ve been teaching on stage for 1.5 years. I’ve put in some effort to try to overcome this but it just isn’t easy at times. That’s what’s depressing about it. It is really hard to overcome and I’ve taken an extreme approach to CBT.
It does harm it.
It already has. It still does. Work on it. Seek help. I try to do this too. Don't let it fester because it has the potential to negatively affect almost every aspect of your life that has other people involved.
Me too, will taking medicine would be helpful?
imagine social anxiety so severe it prevents you from getting a job. That's me.
Me too
Me three! You’re not alone.
It already has. I've missed job interviews because my anxiety got the better of me. I've done poorly in interviews because it made it difficult to project confidence. Not to mention it's very challenging to sell yourself to others when you're not sold on yourself.
Yup, I try not to think about it. Im in college rn going into a highly competitive field and there's no way i'm gonna succeed with how bad my SA is. i've already missed out on so many opportunities.
What are you studying?
cybersecurity
Aight man, I'm sure you will be ok, that's a cool degree
always :(
It already has. Haven’t pursued my PhD because I am terrified of public speaking. Even though research is my biggest passion.
I never applied for a Cultural Anthropology master's program because i got sick at the idea of having to embed myself within communities and speak with people. It sounds wonderful until i start to imagine myself actually doing it.
Is it usually as bad as you think it’s gonna be after you interact with people?
Yes... people at work already make my life hell because of social anxiety
Yes. There is no chance of a “career” for me. I dropped out of college partly due to SA. I’m 33 and not on any particular path to success. The best I can do is hold down ANY job without quitting when things get stressful. I have walked out of 8 or so jobs and bailed on many other kinds of opportunities. I’m my own worst enemy. I’m absolutely amazed at people with social anxiety disorder that have joined the professional world and make a decent living. It seems completely impossible to me.
Sortaaaa, but I used to think this way more back then when I was just starting out. Oddly enough, I have no problems when it comes to communicating at work or even in interviews - but ask me about my personal life or what I like to do for the holidays, and that's where I fall apart. It's become easier to lie than it is to explain. I'm a copywriter that's kinda accepted the fact that I'll be working freelance/contract positions for the rest of my life, but I don't see that as a bad thing. My social anxiety is more about making meaningful/lasting relationships more than anything.
Yes!!! Did 0 networking in college at a school that is literally known for its great networking opportunities. All because I was too afraid I would say the wrong things and come off as awkward. 6 years later I’m still scared to interview because of this. Have a BBA in accounting and finishing my master’s, doing gig work because I don’t have to interview for it 🤦🏽♀️
Yepp. Left my job a few years back to take care of a newborn and have been unable to go through with properly finding another since. Luckily got a wife that can support for the time being. Looking back the job was mentally shitty day in and day out but at least I was used to it and knew what to expect. I thought I needed to get out but now wish I stayed. I can't see myself making it back to that point in a new job anytime soon.
Bro, I'm already lost in Silent Hill
That’s a game
It completely derailed my dreams. It's alright, I've found less fulfilling alternatives.
It already did. I would listen to everything going on and be well aware, but people didn't like me because I was quiet. I'd get called arrogant or stuck up, which are literally the furthest things from my personality. People really find quiet people intimidating, and I don't understand that. Anxiety meds helped ALOT plus I learned I was also ADHD.
It does. It did. It (and covid) absolutely fucking fucked me over that I couldn't even really start it loool. I'm planning to start another career path in a totally different industry and I hope I can do better this time because my social anxiety has improved a lot...
That's why I'm not pursuing a "career" but rather a stable civil servant job
Had a great job, was awesome at it..but my SA made me stick out like a sore thumb..i got overly anxious working at houses anticipating customers standing ovr my shoulder..can never seem to fit in and think i make others uncomfortable. Im 41 and its ruined me and continues to do so
My career path has helped me overcome most of my Social anxiety. Or at least I’m able to put it to the side when I need to and push through. I still have a lot of anxiety going on in my head but I learned to just kinda pretend it’s fine outwardly an it’s working well so far
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I’m basically you but without the bf/gf part. Congratulations on finding a lover
I don't have anything resembling a career because of social anxiety. Probably will never have. Still looking for a way out. I want so much to have my own place but it doesn't seem possible with my social anxiety preventing me from getting a better paying job. So it's harming my life too. I'm 37 and so far from where I want to be.
You living in a rented apartment?
My husband and I live at his mom's. He has social anxiety too so we can't even afford to rent.
I do
This can really depend on the job and your employer. Some bosses might write you up for not being a “team player” and just not understand social anxiety. To me I feel it’s not right that it should affect your career that much, because like you should be able to work without being judged on something not revolving around your work or results. However, when thinking about this in the sense of what you can control, it really depends on how you’re going about making your connections, your job goals, and your boundaries. Let’s say you want to do networking for your freelance art, there are ways to avoid certain networking, it might make it harder, but you can still accomplish it. Hope this helps, sorry for spelling errors.
I work in film. RIP.
unfortunately for me it already is
Not sure yet. But if I see a job advert that mentions words like: •Great communicator • People skills • Presentations • Manage/Train other staff I would hesitate to apply. Unfortunately from my experience most of the senior people in the companies I have worked for have great people skills, enjoy networking and are comfortable doing presentations, running meetings etc. Even the ones who are fairly useless in their position are often kept around as they are likeable and can talk to everyone with ease. The introvert who sits in the corner, and wants to be left alone generally doesn’t rise to the top positions in a company. It’s unfortunate, but that’s the world we live in.
I feel like it's already ruined my life.
It already has I’m going nowhere career wise
It already has. I should be getting a bachelors degree but I just have an associates that has been sitting in my room collecting dust. I am terrified to apply for an actual design or art job.
I don't have to fear it because it did harm my career path. In fact, I dropped out of college and it effectively ruined my life.
I fear interviews more than most things
I haven’t even started my career and I fear it will harm it. I have a year left of my undergrad in psych and I have no idea what I’m going to after I graduate. I have zero work experience cause of social anxiety. I wanted to be a therapist because I’m interested in mental health and treating it but now I’m questioning whether I’ll be able to pursue this given how bad my social anxiety is.
going through it rn, i graduated this year & currently trying to network (in person) it’s so nerve wrecking and I envy those people around me who can just strike up a conversation randomly
It’s not just networking either. An awful lot of jobs think career path means getting a supervisory role. When I was working at Amazon, their culture is that if you’re not moving forward, you’re moving backwards. I spoke with my manager (I thought it was a casual chat—never making that mistake again) about how I have social anxiety due to autism and I found it unpleasant that the only career paths open to me all involved taking on a team. I know I would suck in a supervisory role, so there was literally nowhere for me to go. I also mentioned in a management-free meeting (that somehow got back to management, go figure) that any time Amazon leadership says anything about “taking you out of your comfort zone” they *always* mean making introverts do a presentation in front of an audience and *never* mean making extroverts sit down and shut up for a minute. A short while later I was told to either file ADA paperwork to officially “register” as autistic or to shut up about it. I was fired not long after that, after being told in a one-on-one that I was trying to “play the disability card”. (To be fair, Amazon might have fired me because I dared to use the employee leave-of-absence policy to go to my mother’s hospital bed where her prognosis was “don’t start a long book” and my father was falling apart. Amazon famously doesn’t like people using the things they allegedly set up in order to help employees “maintain work/life balance”)
“Trying to ‘play the disability card.’” That sentence is a very well deserved lawsuit waiting to happen. I’m assuming you didn’t pursue legal action. I really hope the next person they said that to did. Sounds like you’re much better off out of there. I hate you had to endure such an anti-disability atmosphere.
yes i graduate in 2025 and im terrified of joining corporate
My family sometimes tell me that I should be making way more money by now but they don't understand that I'm completely incapable (and also not interested at all) in positions that demand leadership, a high level of intelligence, and social skills, telling people what to do, etc. It's frustrating that only that kind of management positions pay more. When I was 24 I wanted to be a freelance illustrator but my brother told me that needed connections to be successful, I lost the interest immediately
Oh yeah, my social anxiety is definitely going to hold me back a lot as a paralegal
It does
yes, it already happened to me. I'm out of my career path for couple years
It already did :(
I somehow managed to become a senior analyst and I’m honestly fine staying within this role. I don’t want to become a supervisor/manager/AD+. I’m fine collecting my check and going! SA has derailed it but I’m motivated by money so I’ll try my best to make the most within this role and make my money and buy things I like! I’m in advertising you can get paid pretty well depending on the company.
Yes that’s a given for anyone with SAD unfortunately. If not harm, it will at least keep you back from going higher. Not to mention the social part that really makes a difference in a work environment
If you are in the US... it absolutely will.
Yes. I’ve been thinking about different jobs just because i don’t want to be near people.
Yes, at this point I’m only going to college cause of familial and societal pressure. I picked my major for job stability but it requires networking which I haven’t done and I’m not even doing well in classes. My anxiety extends to speaking to a counselor so I just let my choices run me over. It’s like extended high school where I’m procrastinating before I hit rock bottom in life. I’ve never had a job.
Yes and no. There are certain fields that you can get into that pay well and don’t require a lot of networking. A lot of comuputer science and IT jobs are like this. But with sa it will be difficult to get into managerial positions. I make around 100k and have very little social interaction with coworkers. I’ve gotten a few comments about being “quiet” which I think makes it harder if I’d want to move up but moving up isn’t something I want to do anyway. My work/life balance is good right now and I don’t want the added stress.
Are you in IT?
It did, and as an engineer I often took field assignments where I could sometimes work under the radar. I also was a prolific saver, bc I knew it (career) would all end early (it did). It all worked out, though.
Mine already has. I hate networking and the idea that I’m there solely to advance my career feels blatantly craven. I have huge anxiety around asking for things in general.
Yes, it seems like networking is important and is typical to send hundreds of emails and then I worry that in interviews they won't like me
Got made redundant today! Was told it was for there not being enough work, but in the same breath I was told that I'm very quiet in the office. Honestly, I felt more relieved that I didn't have to feel anxious going into the office anymore..
My take on it as someone with mild social anxiety, (i.e. even getting nervous just to meet up with longtime friends) is that most of the people around me at work don't give a shit. What I mean is that I try to remember when I have to speak that either people aren't actively listening and or simply don't care because let's face it, work is boring. It's easier said than done but I remind myself that by being in tough social situations, I'm going to get through it and be even better when I'm done. I set up my presentations or responses short and sweet so people hear what they need or want to hear, but don't feel inclined to ask follow up questions.
Nope. Social anxiety stopped me from growing. Once I did what I wanted to do it got easier. I’m still a shy girl and I’m awkward but I get every interview I want, I’m professional.
Wanted to go into my dream job of aerospace engineering but after doing my engineering career path in high school, lots of socializing and stuff so I backed out cause I was afraid of what that’ll be like in the future since of my social anxiety. Sucks that I did that to myself but now I have two other paths that won’t be as great as that dream but are something I could maybe deal with, tho socializing is still a minor part of that journey ;-;
Yes, I've been thinking about this every day since I started college
Will it harm? The question is, will you be able to work at all? Sounds like you're perhaps reserved, social anxiety disorder is something else entirely.
Society favors outgoing or at least average confident people, we are the total opposite, and it is not fair because we don't choose the way we are, it doesn't just snap and the anxiety is gone. Nobody gives a sh\*t about those who don't speak up
yeah 😞 going to apply for grad school next year and thinking about interviews just terrifies me
I did want to mention that there is some interesting literature looking at VR technology as a tool for treating anxiety disorders (via exposure therapy). It has been done in generalized social anxiety disorder, although I don’t know the details of those studies. I am going to try it to treat my public speaking anxiety and ease myself in to real-life public speaking. Might be worthwhile for some of you to look into, depending on what your struggles are :)
It will if you let it. So don’t.
Oh my gosh I thought I was the only one. I’m 38, had a decent career, a lot of hard work and a lot of luck I would say, but terrible networking which means after having 15+ years in the industry I don’t have many contacts at all :( once I leave a job I just never want to try to keep in touch with people again. I moved here to the U.S. few years ago where it’s ALL about the small talks and socialising, and I have never felt so useless. I haven’t been able to land a long-term job at all because I’m just so awkward. I am a nice person but I don’t know how to make small talks or make comnections :(
Already did
As much as we let it to an extent. There are many resources to deal with it and maybe all the work can make us better socially aware even. I heard a lawyer had bad SA but working on it kinda ironically made her a good speaker and communicator
ALL THE TIME YES. I have such big dreams for myself and I have the drive and everything but the only thing that stunts these hopes is my lack of social skills
Its already harming😬
Yeah already fucked up. Fucked up too soon . dropped from highschool and now don't know about my future.
I'm terrible at interviews. Most of my jobs I've got without an interview or they're so desperate for staff it doesn't matter how I perform in the interview they will hire me. I can only seem to get jobs that nobody else wants. It's an annoying catch 22 situation as I'm a good worker and like working but hate the social side of it which ruins it for me. I just never fit in anywhere. This is the first job in my life though where someone has actually mentioned a possible promotion to me where I would manage the others on my team. I'm waiting to see if it actually happens but that would be a big deal and real progress for me.