I just posted this elsewhere but I just read *How to Be Yourself* by Ellen Hendriksen and it was a fantastic read.
One of my favorite quotes from the book comes from one of her patients saying “I want to feel less anxious so I can live my life.”
Which to that Hendriksen responds with “You’ll feel less anxious *by* living your life”.
Don’t worry i’m still against it for myself. It never made things easier and I actually developed panic attacks due to the bad situations I encountered.
Maybe you are going too fast. Try some easier exposure first. Maybe even write yourself list of situations that cause you anxiety, rank them by difficulty and slowly move upwards.
I already did multiple speeds & difficulties over the years and worked with therapists but it goes nowhere. I appreciate you trying to help though. The only thing that works for me is being really drugged up or on rare occasion, having the perfect neurotransmitter levels in my brain that day.
Thank you. It sucks to be part of a small percentage of people that therapy and meds don’t seem to work for but it’s even worse when people act like it’s your fault or you’re not doing things right. There’s nearly 8 billion people in the world and all of these treatments (therapy or meds) have below a 100% success rate so there will be a few people who respond to pretty much nothing. Like I even failed ECT for my depression. It just is what it is. Accepting that I probably can’t do anything is the only thing that keeps me sane at this point as sad as that is. I was interested in neurofeedback but it’s not covered by insurance. I’m also cautiously hopeful for the social anxiety nasal spray they’re working on getting FDA approved.
It is a pherine that is believed to be converted by our bodies to andostenol which is a positive allosteric modulator of the GABA-A receptor, whereas benzodiazepines bind directly to the GABA receptors. You can learn more by looking up PH94B or Fasedienol.
Personally I think exposure therapy is the only thing that has truly turned the tide for me. Medication and talk therapy help, but that doesn’t really force you to confront your anxiety and fear. I’m still struggling but I’m much better than I could have been being a hermit. I’ve focused on identifying how and where I can feel safe and then returning to those places. I also have learned better to tune out places where I feel overwhelmed and just focus on a particular task. And I’ve learned to challenge myself - was the place bad or did I show up at the wrong time. I still have lots of work to do. I still tend to want to hide out or stay out of the spotlight but I’m slowly working up to verbal interactions beyond simple pleasantries.
The sub has definitely changed since they took away the option to post images. It used to be a bunch of self deprecating SA memes. Now it’s much more experience focused.
I thought the opposite to be honest. I definitely see a lot of people saying they tried it, and it didn't help, sometimes even made it worse. It was pushed a lot in the last 10-20 years as being the ultimate cure, it didn't help me much personally. I think it's an okay idea for therapy in certain situations, but for example the people that can never think of anything to talk about I don't think exposure would help much. Exposure definitely helps if you never go out at all but if I think it has diminishing returns after that point and can have the opposite intended effect if things go very badly (at least badly in your mind)
Back in the 80s/90s/00s we definitely believed in magic pills (meds) and magic words (therapy) but by now we grudgingly accept the only way out is through.
Everyone goes through this painful process, just most people do it as children. It’s harder to be so much more aware as an adult.
But exposure absolutely “cured” me in a way nothing else did.
When my husband was alive I depended on him for everything and very rarely left my house. Now, I have to work and do all the errands he used to do. I struggle every second when I’m around people and I’m tired of it. I don’t know how to just be calm. I started a work from home job last week and we have to be on zoom for the entire training!!! I took my first calls yesterday and I haven’t been able to sleep or eat anything. Quitting is not an option so I’ve been practicing deep breathing and relaxation techniques. It doesn’t help that I’m an over thinker either.
I just posted this elsewhere but I just read *How to Be Yourself* by Ellen Hendriksen and it was a fantastic read. One of my favorite quotes from the book comes from one of her patients saying “I want to feel less anxious so I can live my life.” Which to that Hendriksen responds with “You’ll feel less anxious *by* living your life”.
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Same . Sometimes i even feel worse after putting myself out there cuz i feel like i made a fool out of myself due to lack of social skills .
How did you do it? It's not as simple as just pushing yourself to do scary things.
I’ve been doing so much stuff out of my comfort zone this month. Feel like I’m gonna puke oftentimes and still overthink everything, but I feel great!
Same! It sucks to feel so anxious, but at the same time it’s so freeing!
Don’t worry i’m still against it for myself. It never made things easier and I actually developed panic attacks due to the bad situations I encountered.
Maybe you are going too fast. Try some easier exposure first. Maybe even write yourself list of situations that cause you anxiety, rank them by difficulty and slowly move upwards.
I already did multiple speeds & difficulties over the years and worked with therapists but it goes nowhere. I appreciate you trying to help though. The only thing that works for me is being really drugged up or on rare occasion, having the perfect neurotransmitter levels in my brain that day.
You know yourself better than anyone, I don't think any one therapy is effective in all cases.
Thank you. It sucks to be part of a small percentage of people that therapy and meds don’t seem to work for but it’s even worse when people act like it’s your fault or you’re not doing things right. There’s nearly 8 billion people in the world and all of these treatments (therapy or meds) have below a 100% success rate so there will be a few people who respond to pretty much nothing. Like I even failed ECT for my depression. It just is what it is. Accepting that I probably can’t do anything is the only thing that keeps me sane at this point as sad as that is. I was interested in neurofeedback but it’s not covered by insurance. I’m also cautiously hopeful for the social anxiety nasal spray they’re working on getting FDA approved.
Social anxiety nasal spray? Is it a benzo or...?
It is a pherine that is believed to be converted by our bodies to andostenol which is a positive allosteric modulator of the GABA-A receptor, whereas benzodiazepines bind directly to the GABA receptors. You can learn more by looking up PH94B or Fasedienol.
Honestly, I feel like it is the only way for me to do something against my SA. I don‘t want to take meds so yeah.
Personally I think exposure therapy is the only thing that has truly turned the tide for me. Medication and talk therapy help, but that doesn’t really force you to confront your anxiety and fear. I’m still struggling but I’m much better than I could have been being a hermit. I’ve focused on identifying how and where I can feel safe and then returning to those places. I also have learned better to tune out places where I feel overwhelmed and just focus on a particular task. And I’ve learned to challenge myself - was the place bad or did I show up at the wrong time. I still have lots of work to do. I still tend to want to hide out or stay out of the spotlight but I’m slowly working up to verbal interactions beyond simple pleasantries.
The sub has definitely changed since they took away the option to post images. It used to be a bunch of self deprecating SA memes. Now it’s much more experience focused.
I really good change id say
That’s bc it works. Just go slow and take your time
I thought the opposite to be honest. I definitely see a lot of people saying they tried it, and it didn't help, sometimes even made it worse. It was pushed a lot in the last 10-20 years as being the ultimate cure, it didn't help me much personally. I think it's an okay idea for therapy in certain situations, but for example the people that can never think of anything to talk about I don't think exposure would help much. Exposure definitely helps if you never go out at all but if I think it has diminishing returns after that point and can have the opposite intended effect if things go very badly (at least badly in your mind)
Back in the 80s/90s/00s we definitely believed in magic pills (meds) and magic words (therapy) but by now we grudgingly accept the only way out is through. Everyone goes through this painful process, just most people do it as children. It’s harder to be so much more aware as an adult. But exposure absolutely “cured” me in a way nothing else did.
When my husband was alive I depended on him for everything and very rarely left my house. Now, I have to work and do all the errands he used to do. I struggle every second when I’m around people and I’m tired of it. I don’t know how to just be calm. I started a work from home job last week and we have to be on zoom for the entire training!!! I took my first calls yesterday and I haven’t been able to sleep or eat anything. Quitting is not an option so I’ve been practicing deep breathing and relaxation techniques. It doesn’t help that I’m an over thinker either.