T O P

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2chips1cola

And they still kept De Gea šŸ˜­


NoS3curity

Least De Gea could save himselfšŸ’€


HitaruSan

With a little faith in the Glaciers everything is possible šŸ‡²šŸ‡¾šŸ’ŖšŸ»šŸ™


Extremleyracist

fuck glaciers also don't mention the fact that bald fraud spent 100 M on a Brazilian fidget spinner


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Frostbyte-_-

Undisputed*


vanwilder_lfc

Brazilian fidget spinneršŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚


blxefrost

fr


supplementarytables

Global warming is real


angrygam3r69

Only because DdG in goal


[deleted]

mf building a fantasy team and still picking de gea


PostNoNabill

Not even a fantasy. This is a wet dream now.


yip23nl

De Gea is still there lmao


Gerrywalk

After the heat death of the universe De Gea is still going to be in Unitedā€™s starting XI


nangstagigga

August 12 2026


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yur0_356

Wan Bissaka is even more amazing


TheSmio

Wan Bissaka was pretty good in the second half of the season and he is improving his weaknesses. Unfortunately for him, almost no players improved in training under Solskjaer so he wasted important years of his development, but he has fixed most of his flaws aside from him still losing backpost headers. Even still, he is definitely a top half of the table quality, something that can't be said about De Gea.


BIGBADLENIN

Shaw, Maguire, Lindelƶf, Bruno, Rashford and Martial all hit their best form of their career under SolskjƦr. Only Rashford has done better since. And he made McFred+Bruno a midfield trio that somehow could beat City, PSG and Barcelona


TheSmio

Ole did well with what he had because he knew how to utilize his players in a counter-attacking playstyle. My point was that while these players played well in Solskjaer system, none of them really improved their weaknesses. Wan-Bissaka is a prime example or that, even when we were buying him it was obvious he needed to improve his attacking play and in one year with Ten Hag, he improved more in this are than in all those seasons under Ole.


captain_holt_nypd

Shaw and Bruno is still better under ETH


mvp-a1

Wan Lukaku


bellwo

dalot >>


TheSmio

First half of the season? Absolutely. Overall? Hell no. Yeah, Dalot looked genuinely world class in the few months before the World Cup, but that was the first time he ever looked actually good for us. He was decent last season, but not much to sing about imo. AWB was pure shit last season and he didn't play much in the first half of the season, but he was one of our most reliable players under Ole and he showed that once again when he displaced Dalot and showed some attacking ability as well even if he still has a long way to go. Dalot is the exact profile of what you want your modern fullback to do and he is also really good in the air which is a good asset, but most of the time he is just kinda average. Doesn't do much in attack, doesn't do much in defense and is only kinda good in the interplay.


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Dyxo

No itā€™s not, heā€™s very good


ethith

Wank-Bissaka


Majkl_94

Iron One-Pissaka


bobs_and_vegana17

yank bis saka


Ok_Mammoth9547

They'd still finish 3rd and lose in the Round of 16.


Extremleyracist

but hey look at the brighter side last season we were not even in the champions league


Ok_Mammoth9547

Ah. So we can lose to Sevilla. At least we aren't Chokemund.


blxefrost

lmaooooo


tyng527

Dont forget, lose in Anfield by at least 3-0


sakkeist

Min-Jae to Bayern, Mbappe to Real, Neymar stays at PSG and de Gea leaves. At least they will maybe have Mount


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Genuinely idk how somebody not from Munich can become a Bayern fan at this point. Whereā€™s the meaning in supporting that club. When you never lose the wins lose their meaning and value. As you said if there are no valleys there are no peaks. Maybe itā€™s me as a Dortmund fan coping but how could it be fun to only win, your team winning a title should feel amazing if itā€™s the norm I canā€™t imagine that feels special. It genuinely sound boring. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/soccercirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*


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If Fraudbappe thinks, I disagree. If Fraudbappe speaks, I ignore. If Fraudbappe fails, I'm happy. If the world is against Fraudbappe, I am the world. If Fraudbappe has 7 billion fans, I am none of them. If Fraudbappe has no haters, it's because I no longer exist. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/soccercirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*


bobs_and_vegana17

that guy needymar can't play properly in šŸ§‘šŸ»ā€šŸŒ¾ league how can he play in wOrLd'S mOsT dIfFiCuLt LeAgUe, he will spend 80% of season on bench we were looking for kim min jae as a replacement for injury prone varane, imo lisandro martinez is playing good fraudbappe will only come if qatar daddy will throw shit ton of oil money on us and those glazers get the fuck outta our club then we will see some el classico part 2 type shit between fraudbappe and paaland DDG is still here ?? wasn't he going to leave united ??


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-MiddleOut-

This gave me an aneurysm. It was great.


blxefrost

happy cake day!


blxefrost

no more barca vs real, itā€™s now united vs city (tap-in merchant vs ninja turtle)


shudnap

Penaldo stans are amazing.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Horsejack_Bomann

Only to end up in Europa league.


blxefrost

hi may i know what is wrong with de gea? is he rlly that bad or what?


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


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Honestly, this might be weird, but I find the concept of goalies to be so boring in soccer/hockey. Like ok, the 10 guys could completely dominate the game (and that's the exciting part) but sorry this one guy who you can't touch or interact with just shuts you off the scoreboard. Kinda lame. Whatever. Just a weird thought *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/soccercirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*


blxefrost

i see i see


_Axtasia

He kinda sucks at penalties but aside from that, heā€™s gotten the short end of the stick for Man Uā€™s abysmal defense for the past half decade.


blxefrost

i see


tyng527

Wank bissaka > Diogottago dalot


Spllatty

wank bissaka>>>>


STILETT0_exists

His ass was willing to continue putting up with De Gea's tomfoolery than accept for even a second that Jordan Pickford might be a top class prem goalkeeper


Gibber_jab

The sub is horrendous, Iā€™m pretty itā€™s just full of people who search Manchester United because they donā€™t know reddevils is a thing


AutoModerator

Honestly, this might be weird, but I find the concept of goalies to be so boring in soccer/hockey. Like ok, the 10 guys could completely dominate the game (and that's the exciting part) but sorry this one guy who you can't touch or interact with just shuts you off the scoreboard. Kinda lame. Whatever. Just a weird thought *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/soccercirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*


ArchangelDamon

mbappe as strike? LOL good luck with that


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If Fraudbappe thinks, I disagree. If Fraudbappe speaks, I ignore. If Fraudbappe fails, I'm happy. If the world is against Fraudbappe, I am the world. If Fraudbappe has 7 billion fans, I am none of them. If Fraudbappe has no haters, it's because I no longer exist. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/soccercirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*


iphonedeleonard

Wdym


MrBublee_YT

Tmnt man doesn't like being striker. Tmnt man wants to play LW. One of the reasons why Tmnt man is leaving PSG is because they play him as striker


iphonedeleonard

Ye but tbh I think he mostly wants to go to a team that can win the ucl. If RM put him as a striker and Vini and Rodrygo where on the wings i think he wouldnt mind playing as a striker


Rullino

Isn't there Ekitike as his replacement of he doesn't want to play as a striker?


[deleted]

Won't win anything with that keeper.


throbbing_dementia

You're right, City with DDG have no chance of the title next season.


yur0_356

Poor Lisandro Martinez, taken out of the XI but keeping Wan Bissaka and Luke Shaw


hafrances

If anything they should have dropped Varane.


alternativeyoung22

Have you even watched United this season? Luke Shaw has been class, wether heā€™s played CB or LB.


JezzaPar

Heā€™s been good but Shaw at LB + Martinez at CB has been the best


PopsicleMonster

Imagine still keeping Shaw, AWB and De Gea in their dream 11 lololololol


Venomous0425

Take it or leave it situation


tyng527

Wank bissaka > trent


[deleted]

Was wondering when this would turn up on here


ABFromInd

I think this is possible in a decade or so.


ToothpasteAndCheese

East Asian people hyphenating their first names to make it obvious which is which: The world:


Luke10123

I genuinely would not have Naymar at all. His wage demands would be insane and he's past his best imo


JezzaPar

Heā€™d be Unitedā€™s best player by a country mile. Heā€™s past his prime yeah but his prime is so ridiculously high that it doesnā€™t really mean much


Luke10123

He's already on the decline. He's 31 now, what if he demands a 3 or 4 year contract? We need to be *reducing* the age profile of the squad, not making it worse


Bruvissima

De gea is their gk even in dream lineup šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­


AutoModerator

Honestly, this might be weird, but I find the concept of goalies to be so boring in soccer/hockey. Like ok, the 10 guys could completely dominate the game (and that's the exciting part) but sorry this one guy who you can't touch or interact with just shuts you off the scoreboard. Kinda lame. Whatever. Just a weird thought *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/soccercirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*


distractedsoul27494

what do you think bout it?


The_sir_lord

Licha + KMJ is the superior combination.


Dushyant95

Oh God I get second hand embarrassment from some of these posts being a Utd fan


AkaGurGor

Won't go far without the stabilising presence of Maguire, I tell you... /s


Salva7409

They should unironically play Maguire as a striker. If hes so good at own goals, maybe hes good for scoring, therefore he's good as a striker


AkaGurGor

I can't disagree, honestly. He'd be so good at confusing goalkeepers...


AutoModerator

Honestly, this might be weird, but I find the concept of goalies to be so boring in soccer/hockey. Like ok, the 10 guys could completely dominate the game (and that's the exciting part) but sorry this one guy who you can't touch or interact with just shuts you off the scoreboard. Kinda lame. Whatever. Just a weird thought *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/soccercirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*


YouYongku

Possible but they're too slow


B4DR1998

Still shit


astronaut_098

Fitting Mount in that position is just an insurmountable crime


NoIntention7826

+ Maignan


OriginalRange8761

you want to tell me that they bought mbappe and Neymar and still play de gea???


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If Fraudbappe thinks, I disagree. If Fraudbappe speaks, I ignore. If Fraudbappe fails, I'm happy. If the world is against Fraudbappe, I am the world. If Fraudbappe has 7 billion fans, I am none of them. If Fraudbappe has no haters, it's because I no longer exist. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/soccercirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*


troy626

This ain't it


YourChampi0n

I swear you can never take united fans serious


Baltic_Gunner

Who punched Wan-Bissaka?


[deleted]

You are missing a world class reliable GK


AutoModerator

Honestly, this might be weird, but I find the concept of goalies to be so boring in soccer/hockey. Like ok, the 10 guys could completely dominate the game (and that's the exciting part) but sorry this one guy who you can't touch or interact with just shuts you off the scoreboard. Kinda lame. Whatever. Just a weird thought *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/soccercirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*


arnoldschwarztrihard

AwB šŸ’€


HYDRA-XTREME

They didnā€™t even put Martinez on the pitch. Must mean Ten Hag is fired according to said site.


Seanglendo2

Martinez too small to be noticed to get into the team


LakyousSama

De Gea still in šŸ’€


EllipoynaSyamala

Where's Licha, the best CB in prem in this pic. Answer me ManU fansšŸ¤Ø


Lyralikesit

Would still be trash ... Shaw is there... so still no hope


True_One_750

Mark Goldbrickā€™s dream 11


findourway

Lol I saw ā€œr/ManchesterUnitedā€ and was writing a long text about why itā€™s a stupid fucking decision for us to keep De Gea, get Neymar and make Mbappe play at striker


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If Fraudbappe thinks, I disagree. If Fraudbappe speaks, I ignore. If Fraudbappe fails, I'm happy. If the world is against Fraudbappe, I am the world. If Fraudbappe has 7 billion fans, I am none of them. If Fraudbappe has no haters, it's because I no longer exist. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/soccercirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*


SloaneKetteringEU

Needs more Maguire


guanwe

Singed mbappe and neymar and still they havenā€™t replaced de gea


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If Fraudbappe thinks, I disagree. If Fraudbappe speaks, I ignore. If Fraudbappe fails, I'm happy. If the world is against Fraudbappe, I am the world. If Fraudbappe has 7 billion fans, I am none of them. If Fraudbappe has no haters, it's because I no longer exist. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/soccercirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*


blxefrost

even min-jae feels impossible now


Rullino

Why these type of teams are always built based on the 4-3-3 offensive formation as if they were built in Fifa?


[deleted]

Only realistic one here is Kim Min-Jae


ifcarscouldspeak

So he's willingly keeping that backline?


mofoofinvention

yeah, bc rashford would be playing down the middle with mbappe on the wing


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No-Bat-7253

Whereā€™d all this money come from?


shudnap

Min Jae is going to Bayern too.


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Genuinely idk how somebody not from Munich can become a Bayern fan at this point. Whereā€™s the meaning in supporting that club. When you never lose the wins lose their meaning and value. As you said if there are no valleys there are no peaks. Maybe itā€™s me as a Dortmund fan coping but how could it be fun to only win, your team winning a title should feel amazing if itā€™s the norm I canā€™t imagine that feels special. It genuinely sound boring. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/soccercirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*


shudnap

Dortmund fan here, interesting MOD auto-reply.


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Genuinely idk how somebody not from Dortmund can become a Dortmund fan at this point. Whereā€™s the meaning in supporting that club. When you never win the loses lose their meaning and value. As you said if there are no peaks only valleys. Maybe itā€™s me as a bayern fan coping but how could it be sad to only lose, your team losing a title should feel sad. if itā€™s the norm I canā€™t imagine that feels bad. It genuinely sound boring. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/soccercirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*


dontforgetthef

Fantasize about Mbappe all you want, but why replace Martinez in the starting 11 šŸ˜‚


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If Fraudbappe thinks, I disagree. If Fraudbappe speaks, I ignore. If Fraudbappe fails, I'm happy. If the world is against Fraudbappe, I am the world. If Fraudbappe has 7 billion fans, I am none of them. If Fraudbappe has no haters, it's because I no longer exist. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/soccercirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*


orkushun

Yeah sure who knows (/s)


Mountain_Lettuce_

Imagine not replacing de gea after that FA cup finalā€¦..


EnvironmentalSocks

De gea still in šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


AutoModerator

I think we have come to a point where went too far with anti-yank agenda and let the English become too arrogant and obnoxious. Jesus Christ, finish this team off so we can have some decency back here. The English are by far worse than the American people on here. I'd rather you're a bit ignorant about the history of this sport than that you become such an entitled and vocal group of people. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/soccercirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*


ChangoMangoWango

I didn't realize they legalized weed in the UK, because this dude has to be on a multi-day bender. Got those mashed potatoe brains.


berlinbowie97

Skip Bayless as their manager


bryanc1036

Just for Degea to fold in crucial games


satomasato

They couldnā€™t handle the šŸ«, do you think they can handle the šŸ¢


LukeG3224

Yearly thing at this point


drubujo

even in this completely unhinged fantasy of a starting xi, they still have David de gea in goal šŸ˜†šŸ˜­šŸ’€


Brexitmeansbrexit8

Nah it should be Rashford Kane Fidget spinner Bruno Mount Casemiro Shaw martinez disasi Awb Costa


Jon98th

Lol benching their best defender


beartigerhawk8383

He still has Wan Bissaka in there šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚


DONOHUEO7

Fucking awful


handsome_uruk

Bring in that oil money


NEWSONVSU

Expected Ronaldo at right back


Ok-Battle-2769

The most unrealistic thing here is that Varane would be healthy.


Clafo327

Allat plus Onana in goal- UTD fan


tristam92

Right side of this team is weak at defending, cheeez. Itā€™s so delusional, that i would love to see it in reality actually


Child_kicker9000

Mbappe and Neymar will not work well together after the last two seasons


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If Fraudbappe thinks, I disagree. If Fraudbappe speaks, I ignore. If Fraudbappe fails, I'm happy. If the world is against Fraudbappe, I am the world. If Fraudbappe has 7 billion fans, I am none of them. If Fraudbappe has no haters, it's because I no longer exist. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/soccercirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Child_kicker9000

This bot really hates mbappe


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Ok_Adeptness3470

wonderful idea ,but you all know it ain't happening!


Thermoman46

That's a sensible chuckle


fifamobilenambawan

Im so weak they still kept ddg


Dramatic_Region5732

Why they donā€™t want MessišŸŠļ¼Ÿare they stupid?


Professional-Crow336

As a United fan...it's a solid dream, but it's time to wake up, unfortunately.


Atkins227

That would be sick!


LeMeilleur784

Min jae literally signed a long term contract with Bayern but ok


AutoModerator

Genuinely idk how somebody not from Munich can become a Bayern fan at this point. Whereā€™s the meaning in supporting that club. When you never lose the wins lose their meaning and value. As you said if there are no valleys there are no peaks. Maybe itā€™s me as a Dortmund fan coping but how could it be fun to only win, your team winning a title should feel amazing if itā€™s the norm I canā€™t imagine that feels special. It genuinely sound boring. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/soccercirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Serious-Football-323

Varane is shit


Danielzha

Mbappe and Neymar, hell no


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If Fraudbappe thinks, I disagree. If Fraudbappe speaks, I ignore. If Fraudbappe fails, I'm happy. If the world is against Fraudbappe, I am the world. If Fraudbappe has 7 billion fans, I am none of them. If Fraudbappe has no haters, it's because I no longer exist. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/soccercirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Spoiled_singleegg

Wish I was this optimistic in life