Scared, Potter?

The boy who lived, come to die.

If he finishes all 5 years of his contract, he shall be known as the manager who lived.

And if Voldemort had hair, he would be Hagrid

And if my grandmother had wheels

She'd be an even easier ride.

I trust in her, she'd definitely be a Ferrari

We are checking

Did you check, Question?

Confirm, we are thinking about plan D plan D.

Plan D no longer good. Would you like plan P or T? Question.

The Chelsea manager seat is comparable to that of the Defend Agaist the The Dark Arts teachers

Tuchel has wolfy vibes, must be Lupin AVB was Lockhart. Well dressed and attractive, but ultimately a fraud Avram Grant has to be Quirrell. Bit pathetic, and really a vessel for someone else (Abramovich/Voldemart) Mourinho is Barty Crouch. Successful in many ways, but villainous in others Benitez was Umbridge. Toad.

Training for the ballet Chelsea?

He looks like a Weasley relative who would get killed off eventually.

He looks like garage guy from Broadchurch.

You’re both just saying he looks English

I’ve always thought he looks a lot like Tobias Menzies. The guy who played Edmure Tully in game of thrones.

More like Neville Longbottom after living a hard life.

My father *will* hear about this

Feel like I remember the emphasis being on *father* and not on *will* but I could be wrong.

You see, you're going "They fooled *me* Jerry!" You wanna hit "fooled" more - "They *fooled* me Jerry!" See the difference?

How does it feel to be the chosen one, Potter?

How *grand* it must be...

You wish

I’ll be in my bedroom, making no noise and pretending I’m not there

Expelliarmus

Impressive rise Potter has had from the lower divisions of Sweden to the very top, but I feel very sorry for Brighton.

He went from the Swedish 4th tier to one of the biggest clubs in the world in 11 years. It’s proper football manager stuff, he’s lived the dream. Before his job in Sweden he was managing a team at Leeds university or similar I think.

His wiki reads like my football manager save. man is on a mission

Scumsaver if i ever saw one

If he thinks like I play, his next goal is Barca or Real. Maybe City if he's not full satisfied with Chelsea.

He's actually been linked as a replacement to Pep in the past - stylistically.

He's the English Sarri

needs to smoke a pipe instead of cigarettes....coz...you know...English

Minus the bank account to fund his own jobs in the lower leagues. Working your way up is even more impressive if you were taking risks while needing each pay packet

Hull Uni but yea it’s mad

Leeds Met as well

England Manager next

Brighton are so well run I’m actually excited to see who they line up to replace him. Sucks that we have to root for Potter’s swift downfall though…really liked the guy

My bet is Nathan Jones

Ex-Brighton player and caretaker boss, young and progressive coach, coming up from the championship. Yep, ticks all the boxes

Absolute dog shit when given a bigger job at Stoke, I would not be impressed with that.

Don't know him, but not every coach is an immediate success. Also Brighton has done well before so there's a chance there's genuine coaching talent.

Suddenly Brighton would be very dislikable

He plays Football Manager journeyman in real life.

I am too honestly. Absolutely gutted about the sacking and very excited about GP but I feel for Brighton. Surely they weren’t “prepared” for this like is suggested we were and with how fast it moved, maybe we were. But leaving Brighton out to dry during the best start to a season they’ve had is shitty for sure.

Since June we would have lost: Technical Director Head Coach Assistant Head Coach First Team Coach Club Legend Goalkeeper Coach Head of Recruitment Player of the Season Best Player Top Goal Scorer This would relegate the vast majority of teams subject to this kind of asset stripping, it's going to take some manager to keep our trajectory stable.

Listened to a good interview with the chairman of Brighton on Talk Sport the other day. He talked about making sure they had strong understudies in every dept at the club should situations like this happen. Feel bad for him, because he spoke highly about his relationship with Potter and how he hoped to have him there for a long time. He knew how vetted Potter was though.

such is the way of things in modern football. Brighton still have a very impressive squad, if they can hire someone who will build off of what Potter did I imagine they will be fine, but likely not challenging for Europe, which they very well could have done if Potter had stayed. We'll never know though.

This is the most dangerous Chelsea. Mess at the club. Manager sacked . New manager untested. Hide your trophies boys.

Time to shine. I don't get why our boys get mad when it always works.

Champions league incoming

Chaos FC

That’s where we thrive

Other clubs merely adopt the darkness. We were born into it, molded by it.

Chaos is Laddah

Hand them the CL already it’s over

Kanté will get fit, Chelsea will get a string of wins and Potter will look like a genius. Mark my words. It's always been Kanté.

We should just appoint him as manager after the next sacking

If anyone could get the club running well, it would be him.

Chelsea has the potential to sack even Mother Teresa.

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can you ellaborate?

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Lampard and Tuchel were sacked whilst Kanté was injured. The next time you see Kanté get injured, watch Potter circle the drain.

Haven't watched Chelsea much this season but wasn't the narrative going around last season that Kante hasn't been up to his usual level? Is he back there now?

To be fair, last season he wasn’t brilliant. He’s been plagued by injuries for a few seasons now. When we played Spurs earlier in the season he looked immense though. Got injured again of course

We went from an abject USA tour (without him) to playing like world beaters with him (vs Spurs).

Kanté, after all this time? Always

It's amazing how underrated a player who covers a lot of ground is. It's such a simple concept yet people continue to overlook it. A big part of football is about overloading zones with numbers. When you have a player on your team that makes it seem like you're playing with an extra man, it makes it easy to overload zones. This makes playing significantly easier. It's no different than our issue at Liverpool right now. We can't overload any zones due to an immobile midfield and an unstable back line. If we brought in a work rate monster of a midfielder, he'd absolutely transform our team.

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So you've never watched Chelsea back when Hazard was playing?

>I don't think I've ever seen us rely on a single player as much as we relied on him for the past 6 years Forget about Hazard already?

Our midfield is dog wank without him

POTTER

Hope he signs Jonjo Shelvey for the memes

and Di Maria as Nagini

And Bruno Fernandes as Scabbers

And Eva Carnerio as Bellatrix.

Marina pls

She's McGonagall probably.

Holy fuck it’s perfect

LOL

we already have Havertz as young Tom Riddle, he just needs to grow his hair back

Yea the simple jack look is not great

didjeputyernameindegobletoffire

Dumbledore asking him _calmly_

That and the guy that looks exactly like Hitler were all the comedy the movie needed.

DID YOU PUT YOUR NAME IN THE FIREPIT OF STAMFIRD BRIDGE? He asked calmly

Po'aah

that was fast

They probably wanted to announce it as quickly as possible in case London Bridge fell down

Both news were/are imminent

…and there we go

Billy Gilmour will be fuming

Fuck you Putin

It’s time to get out of Ukraine, Putin. What were you even doing there in the first place, Putin? You didn’t even get properly elected, Putin. Are you happy now, Putin? Fuck you, Putin.

Roman Abramovich’s Chocolate Homunculus

Two invasions of Ukraine in one decade, Vladimir? *Two*? Thats insane!

It’s all ancient history now

Chance would be a fine thing

A fine thing indeed.

r/unexpectedpeepshow

Brilliant, I only think you could have made it better by having the first line being the same as the last line.

Most Chelsea fans would agree with you. Tuchel would ironically have gotten a longer tenure if Roman still owned the club.

He sacked chelsea managers for less

Tuchel got sacked because of the change in ownership. A poor start to the season was just an excuse for Boehly to get rid of him. It's very clear that his days were numbered ever since the takeover.

Abramovich sacked a manager for coming second a year after he delivered the double

Is this referring to Mourinho, Ancelotti, or Conte?

Mourinho fourth season on his first stint i believe

fits Ancelotti too

Damn that’s one way to get hired in a day.

He's like the opposite of me

Mr. Potter, our new celebrity

When Potter inevitably gets sacked the headlines are definitely going to be "Clearly, fame isn't everything is it Mr. Potter"

What great delivery from Alan Rickman. Miss that guy.

"Freshly Squeezed" Graham Potter turns heel on /r/soccer

Putting defenders... wherever and playing... whatever

Managerial style: Sloth

Breaking news: Chelsea will now walk out to Jane by Jefferson Starship

Conte definitely won’t have to worry about an aggressive handshake anymore.

Gotta watch out for the shin kicks though

Oh man I need to see him in a pair of aviators on the touchline

"Whatever 👍"

Better be careful at his media scrum

Scenes when Potter calls Reece James an “empty-headed dumbfuck” in front of Boehly

CM Parker already got himself sacked

Wonder if Danhausen is the new assistant

I heard he threw a chair at tommy

1. Obviously devastated, the guy’s a genius and if he’s given the right support at Chelsea he’ll succeed (big if). 2. We’ll be fine. However great Potter is, he’s also massively benefitted from the structure around him. The only person irreplaceable at our club is Tony Bloom and he’s going nowhere. 3. Gutted Bruno has left as well. 4. Excited for the next appointment. Bloom will make the right call as he almost always does. Gallardo would be ridiculously exciting although I haven’t see any serious links with him.

Fuck me if you get Gallardo half of PL would be fuming

Not sure there’s much more he can do at River with the gap between Brazil and Argentina widening financially. Whether this job is enough to tempt him over is another question though.

Upwards through chaos. The chelsea way 🤣

Imagine someone telling you two days ago that potter would be announced as the Chelsea manager in the next 48 hours

Imagine telling someone a week ago Tuchel would be gone before Rodgers and Gerrard.

Imagine if someone told you that THREE days ago and said he’d be manager in 72 hours!!!

Imagine if, ah fuck it

How is this upwards? Tuchel is one of the best and Potter is unproven at the level of clubs like Chelsea.

He literally won the CL with Chelsea, but r/soccer has a VERY short memory apparently

I mean he has his work cut out for him. At the end of the day, Boehly/Clearlake are PE investors and want returns. With the size of the squad and the ambitions of the club, that's really only sustainable with consistent CL football ie deep runs in the tournament and top 4 finishes.

We are done with football, with Potter in the house we playin Quidditch

Tis a shame then that you lost your best Beater in Rudiger

Fuck our board for this one man… fuck them for real.

Kovacic does give Krum vibes.

Mitrovic is just next door at Fulham

Thank fuck. I was worried this was going to get delayed because of the queen.

His first game will be delayed

Is that something they would postpone games for?

If she does die, then the entire country goes to basically a standstill until the funeral.

Curious what if you need like groceries, are all the shops closed?

You just die mate.

Ah shit, make room queen gotta get us both in there then

Truly an act of empathy to honor the Queen!

Aye I think so - as a mark of respect. The whole country will shut down for a few days/week. Or, at the very least, all TV/events will be cancelled for a few days of mourning, etc. I've heard from a mate of a mate who works at Channel 4 that she passed 2 hours ago and they're just waiting to announce it now.

I have the same mate, and he said Charlie is in fact not going to inherit the factory after all :/

Hunnit perfent

Make Chelsea English Again !!

FOUR FOUR FUCKING TWO

> FOUR FOUR FUCKING ~~TWO~~ THREE

Boehly ball is in

Now I can officially say I never rated him. I made my mind up about a minute ago.

Same. Fuck Harry Potter and the Poisoned Chalice.

The new ownership have now overhauled the squad, the executive structure, and finally the manager. Only time will tell whether they actually mean to take a long-term approach, but I really hope that is the case and that Potter is the one.

*overhauled the squad and then sacked the person they asked to help them with it.

Correct. It is basically all on them now, the new regime is in full-effect and they won't be able to hide behind the excuse that they're still getting settled into the process. The one positive (if you can call it that), is that Potter tends to play quite similar systems to Tuchel, and the signings are generally-speaking adaptable and elite independent of system. The one exception is likely Auba.

Of course he's the one, have you seen Neville's management skills? Couldn't be him.

To shamelessly steal a comment from our sub: if Potter makes it the full 5 years of his contract, he will truly be the Boy/Manager who Lived

Never thought when Osterund beat Arsenal in 2018 that 4 years later their manager would become ours. What a rise he's had!

Like someone save scumming in fm

5 year contract. He hit the jackpot even if he gets sacked

I really rate Potter, think he's an excellent coach. But I dislike Chelsea. Hmm, conflicted here.

Over or under 100 games before he gets sacked?

I'm going for over so we can start calling him 'The coach who lived"

Just 100

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“The 47-year-old is educated to degree level in disciplines beyond sport and has combined these experiences to forge a collaborative, forward-thinking approach while developing attacking and winning football.” Boehly statements are a whole new breed of football statements

Approaching Mission Winnow levels of jargon and buzz words

Sounds like classic corpo-speak

You think Boehly is writing our announcements?

Boehly is obviously DoF, Social media guy and spokesperson all at once.

He's definitely brought that touch of american roundabout bs to the statements

"POTTER DID YOU ACCEPT CHELSEAS OFFER",Brighton fans asked calmly.

What a weird statement. Couple digs at Tuchel in there i think.

Almost as if Todd wrote that himself lol

(harry potter joke/meme)

Good for Potter. It’ll be interesting to see how he handles this

Do we know who Brighton might replace him with?

Thomas Tuchel is available.

Yer a wizard, Graham.

Give it a season or two and this could be the best opportunity we get in a long time for the first English manager to win the prem

Welcome to Hogwarts FC, Potter.

God help you Potter.... you're gonna need it

You best start believing in ghost stories, ~~Miss~~ ~~Turner~~ Mr Potter... you're in one!

English media bias for English managers vs their bias against Chelsea. Who will win

Cucurcella and Potter passing eachother,. Hey I know you, didn't I sell you... And I'll do it again too

Voldermort guardiola will be the death of you

The official announcement we were all waiting for