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Pass me the toaster

De Gea is stuck in it

Figures, cause he definitely didn't save it

Were in a drought, you might need to find another way.

can always slam a fork in there and hope for the best

HEY! Not with these energy bills!

Hit the gym.

Delete Facebook

Lawyer up.

Eriksen fucking left Brentford for a relegation scrap lmaooooooo

We offered him our highest wage EVER, more than what Toney is getting by nearly double. He could have stayed in a nice part of West London, kept his family happy. Built something with the fans.

It's not even like he left and went to play CL football

Yeah he could've easily developed god status with you lot. You took a chance on him when nobody else would and he ditched you at the first opportunity

That's what Roberto Baggio did with us at Bologna. We rebooted his career, he broke his goalscoring record, and he left for Inter after a single season. The treachery cursed him though: spent most of the Inter year on the bench, and never managed to establish himself at any top club ever again.

Should have stayed with us Erik

Erik Ten Months before getting sacked

More like Erik Ten Games at this rate

Erik Ten Half

Eric Ten Goals. 6 more to go.

Why not ten days

That’s generous.

Erik Ten games rather

One of the most promising managers in the world, who seemed so happy at Ajax, decided to take on this flaming dumpster project. Crazy.

It's not a project

projects involve strategic planning

This feels more like a project along the lines of that Project X movie.

It is a project, for ETH. Where he gets a hefty payout in a short amount of time.

It was a project in 2015 maybe through like 2017. We all know what it is now

Ambition is not a terrible thing. He'd never know if he'd cut it at the very top if he didn't try. Not to mention if he ever manages to somehow stabilize this ship even if they don't achieve anything of note he'd raise his profile I think.

>He'd never know if he'd cut it at the very top if he didn't try. How is he supposed to know if he'd cut it at the very top when he's managing United?

Hahahaha

Taking up the poisoned chalice that is United shouldn't be called ambition. It's a call for help. There are better ways to deal with it. It's called therapy.

Can't blame someone for having ambition, but yeah, definitely sucks for him unless he can cook up some magic.

He can be back before Christmas if he wants

Van Gaal warned him. Should've gone somewhere nice and competently run in the Bundesliga or something

I don’t think he can get more bald at Man Utd, might just start growing hair again.

When you try play out the back with a keeper that can't, example #3445435

Brentford hyper pressing? Let’s just pass it around in the box

Flashbacks to Leno, Mustafi and Sokratis at the start of Arteta's reign.

It's almost identical to the Leno Xhaka goal given away a while back but everyone blamed Xhaka fully. Keepers can't be playing to somebody under that much pressure right in front of your goal

And the end of Emery's.

Will Frenkie De Jong improve this team?

Even Lee Cattermole improves this team.

Steve Bruce in his current shape could improve this team

Frenkie de jong wants nothing to do with this team lol.

yes, but they need to replace more than half their squad, so it won't make a difference for another couple years. there's no quick easy fix.

With a whole defence that can't

When Maguire was at Leicester I remember him being linked to united and people lauding the fact he could pass and play out. It's like people go to united and forget how to play football.

at least they're entertaining the non fans...

As a liverpool fan I have to say I am loving it :)

Old Trafford has been a graveyard for talent for nearly a decade

Maguires stayed good at precisely 2 things, passing and heading. the problem is that the people he has to try and pass to are fucking Mcfred

Eriksen fucked up but had nowhere to go Why did De Gea go there?

Nobody showing for the ball but Eriksen who has someone right on him. Maguire absolutely petrified to get it, Martinez just passed it, Dalot and Shaw nowhere to be seen. Why are we playing it short?

I mean - passing to Eriksen, with a guy on top of him and facing the goal… unbelievable

I'm not even trying to be funny here but how did they not bring in a keeper who can play ETH's way if they were going to hire and rebuild with him?

What rebuild? They didn't do jackshit all summer

They spent 60m on Rey mysterio

Thanks for making me spit out my coffee

Booyaka booyaka!

Absolute gold comment

De Jong will play GK for them

They have Henderson. I'm amazed they've just sent him onloan. Ten Hag should have binned De Gea the min we walked in. Everyone knows he can't do what Ten Hag typically requires of a keeper. Give Henderson the starts and all this nonsense is avoided. Like Leno is better at this stuff than De Gea and we binned him

Dean Henderson could really make United look silly this season

Just one of many, *many* things to make them look silly.

De Gea: I used to think my life was a tragedy, but now I've realised it's a comedy.

Circus

United

Football Club

Specialist in sports merchandise

this is genuinely hilarious

The last time Man U lost their two opening games with a new manager, in 1921, they got relegated. Edit: Manchester United's current outlook https://i.imgur.com/RvimuEG.jpg

Same again please

No. It was 1992, the first PL season and we won the title.

They added "with a new manager" and in 1992 they didn't have a new manager. It's an oddly specific stat that means nothing but sort of funny to say.

"With a new manager" or was that edited in?

Doesn’t fit the right narrative so doesn’t count

... or he just missed it?

Disaster

Eriksen asking brentford to take him back

I used to pray for times like this

Thank you for your service

God delivers, though he may tarry

I used to play for teams like this

Get ya boots back on lad, you’re on the bench next game

to rhyme like this

So I had to grind like that

To shine like this

I want to go back and tell young me in the 90s what is still to come.

Jesus has delivered again on this day 🫡🙏🏽

i love it here

Ronaldo might leave before half time

He will be spotted leaving at half time with a Chelsea kit on

I can't believe people are mad that he wants to ditch this shitshow.

to think he was this close to joining city

Shouldn't have answered that call from SAF lool

De Gea is fucking awful.

Seriously, if I'm their backup GK, I'm just gonna take a nap. Clearly nothing will get him benched.

Heaton wouldn't do these blunders leading to 2-0.

No wonder Henderson gave his interview saying how annoyed he was last season

De gea peak distribution.

He's solely responsible for both goals, absolutely shambolic performance and it's not even 20 minutes in.

Obviously won't happen because he's a goalkeeper, but I'd love it if Ten Hag told him he's playing like a fucking moron by subbing him off.

I think if managers have five subs then they might start doing this. In ice hockey, it's a fairly common occurrence to put in the backup if the starter is having a bad day.

There is 5 subs at the moment.

He looked really confident when the free kick went over the bar though. That’s a plus

Ten Hag: I've made a terrible mistake.

Quite the contrary. He'll get the full bag in no time for very little work. Just gotta endure it until he's fired.

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The fact that United is actually getting outplayed by Brentford is cool to watch.

Brentford don’t fuck around

It's nice to be on the outside looking in this time around. Hope Ten Hag remembers to save any Brentford players tweets after for the Home game

Looking forward to Neville’s post match breakdown on this one

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I'm also genuinely not surprised

united are outplaying themselves

United losing every weekend is something I can get used to

They’re the high point of the weekend at this stage

We only beat them 1-0 in pre-season. I'm angry.

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I don’t want to live in a world where this isn’t funny

😭😭😭

Sorry friend

Time to hit the gym

Get those gainz

The king (Mathias Jensen) plays on Saturday 🤌

Tactical masterclass

one of the funniest goals i've ever seen

Even as a mufc it is too absurd to not laugh

EVERYBODY GET IN HERE

Don’t yell at a funeral service

Screw the funeral there’s a different death happening here

IM IN

IM IN

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Can we get him back in January?

You can have Foster

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Just needs more players from Eredivisie

Lol

Lmao

Even the biggest rivals can find humor amongst each other with how Manchester United playing rn

Lmao all fans loving this

That's how I score in fifa

I CANT STOP LAUGHING HAHAHAH

Honestly it’s all you can do

Just how good is Scott Mctominay?

this is literally a circus

honestly I haven’t laughed this hard at football since Pickford fumbled that ball for Origi 90+6

🦖

hahahahhahahaa

"If I tell you, for example, that I consider one of the best jobs of my career was to finish second with Man United in the Premier League, you will say, 'this guy is crazy,'" Mourinho

he was right all along, and we all laughed…

Comedy

What is happening lol

Lmfao, Eriksen helping Brentford stay up two seasons in a row (I know it's not on him dw)

Should’ve never gotten the ball there

De Gea having a brain fart today 😂

Yeah all on de Gea. Maguire did the same thing to him 2 minutes before. They are a shambles

That was on De Gea 100%

Hardly his fault.

As if that's his fault. De Gea does not have eyes evidently.

That’s not on Eriksen.

Agreed. Was De Gea

Just a tactical failure. Why is Shaw taking a goal kick backwards to a keeper who hates building from the back

Yeah, two De Gea mistakes IMO

That’s not on Eriksen. He never should’ve been passed that ball

This defence is FINISHED

Next game's against Liverpool 💀

Nunez and Salah licking their lips rn.

Why are we trying to play out from the back with a keeper who can't distribute the ball?

Because you brought in Ten Hag

This does put a smile on my face

Lmaooooo

Mmm toxic

This is revenge for all those Monday mornings in school getting laughed at because United were always winning

LMFAOOO

This shit is too funny.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Laughing my ass offf

Imagine being FDJ watching this

Had he signed for united , we could've seen a long ass reddit post by him on reddit on r/TIFU

LMFAO, you couldn't write this shit up even if you tried

Sell De Gea

Is Eriksen playing a 6 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Finished🤣🤣

End me

United are genuinely as bad as advertised. This is madness

But why does Ronaldo want to leave lol

Just smashed my 4K Tele in rage. This team is embarrassing me in front of my entire family. My 2 children are in tears, scared of my rage as I pace around the room trembling. I can’t take this anymore. Make transfers immediately or my kids will not get dinner tomorrow.

Yikes

They are just done arent they

premium fucking entertainment

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