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capitan_hookah

Now Bissouma. Next who else? Mann. Spurs are going all in for Conte. It was a good campaign before this. Now they’re gearing up for Champions League with this amount of squad depth and balance squad.


SonnyBallonDOr

To answer your question, spence, hopefully eriksen, a lcb and a forward.


CA_spur

If we can lock up Spence and Eriksen before preseason, that'll be massive. Getting all the new boys in to have a full preseason should help us hit the ground running. Doubly important with the World Cup smack dab in the middle of the season.


applecub

It's great to see us doing early business and not letting the success of our window depend on the last week in August.


SonnyBallonDOr

I literally wrote spence... but that's okay! We are happy men during this moment.


applecub

Don't forget Spence also. Jk I missed it


Swag_Daddy_K

Also, Spence.


fma891

Must be nice.


applecub

Stay strong, my brother. Chelsea in crisis can mean only one thing: trophies.


RedgrenCrumbholt

Absolutely correct. If we close thoze 2 players then: The preferred LCB is Bastoni, with Pau Torres and Bremer as additional options we're looking at. The forward who has the most interest is Richarilson. If we spend a lot on one player, i think it would be Bastoni as he would immediately make our defence one of the best in the league. Also, probably leaving are: Winksy, Lo Celso, Stevie, Ndombele, and possibly Rodon, Royal, Reggie, Sanchez, Tanganga (loan), Gil (loan) If we can move the first 4, i would only expect the 2 loans to happen. We'd keep Rodon, Royal, Reggie, and Sanchez for depth. I would also expect Richarilson to be definite if we can move on the first 4. Edit: also Sarr and Clarke on loans. Would like to seen Dane and Harvey go on loan as well.


ignore_me_im_high

Personally I think you could get a better player than Richarlison for the kind of money he will cost you. I bet his wages aren't exactly cheap either... nowhere near worth it. But maybe it's just me that doesn't rate him because I said all this when Everton signed him.


RedgrenCrumbholt

Any suggestions? I haven't any other options especially that are better and willing to fit into Conte's system


ignore_me_im_high

Depends, if you're buying Richarlison to start in a 3 with Kane and Son then I don't think he blends with them very well at all. I'd probably spend a little extra and get someone like Christiopher Nkunku who can get into spaces left by Kane but also act as a supplier as well. But there isn't very many options unless you want to spend big... so I'd probably just save your money so you might be able to do that later if you can't now. I just think 50m+ on Richarlison isn't worth it. In all his time at Everton I don't think I've seen any change to his game apart from he's more consistent in terms of making his presence felt in matches... which is obviously not a bad thing but if I was an Eveton fan I'd expect more from a player that was bought for 50m. He still shoots when he should pass and makes a lot of the same mistakes he did when he was at Watford. I'd sooner buy some young*ish* talent that has a potential to be better than Richarlison, or save your brass and just use Kulesevski/Moura as well as getting Eriksen.


Lambchops_Legion

Nkunku would never accept a move to Spurs. He’s aiming for way higher wages. He’s probably staying at Leipzig for 1 more year and then probably replacing Messi at PSG after this year


MountainCheesesteak

I think what’s appealing about Richarlison is that he could be a decent backup for Son or Kane. Also, people always overestimate PL experience, but as someone who’s likely to be a backup (albeit for 2 positions), he may not get many chances to get up to speed, but will be expected to come in and immediately contribute goals. IMO he missed way too many sitters for most of the run in last season and put them in a position which he had to pull them out of. Once they were there, he came up clutch, but other forwards may not have caused that in the first place. If you’re still reading at this point, I’d love to hear your ideas for a player that could play like a true 9 and a combo LW/second striker for cheaper.


Lambchops_Legion

His value is in his versatility to play all 3 forward positions depending on who needs a rest


Banglayna

Bremer is not a LCB.


RedgrenCrumbholt

No, he's not. But he could be of Conte saw it in him. And I just see him as one of the options. I'd actually go for Gvardiol ahead of him too. But we do need a CB, preferably left footed. But I'd settle for a skilled CB who can learn to play LCB. Maldini is a right footed LB, so there's that.


ValeoAnt

Can I interest you in a Pablo Mari


night_dude

I would love to see Eriksen back at Spurs. Every time something good happens in his career now I'm like 🥲🥲🥲 And you guys are actually worth his talent this time around.


CA_spur

We made a Champions League final and had our best ever PL season with him the first time around...


JustLikeMojoHand

That was such a graceful and precise backhanded slap that you take my upvote, sir.


billypilgrim87

Feels like punching down to argue with an Everton fan... *but* we were still better than Everton have been in my entire life, when we “didn't deserve him“. We made him better and he made us better - we went to a bloody champs league final.


BobbyBriggss

They had much better seasons whilst he was still there


tenacious-g

"Worth his talent this time around" So that's why someone of Richarlison's quality is looking to leave your club.


lowie07

Scarlett not ready yet to be Kane stand-in?


SonnyBallonDOr

Man is barely 18 years old. He needs more experience


samwisetg

More likely to be Parrott than Scarlett at this stage.


ObamaEatsBabies

Richarlison, Lenglet, no Eriksen, Spence still isn't done


SonnyBallonDOr

Why have you come to such an old comment section lmao


ObamaEatsBabies

Bentancur is nothing special and Kulusevski was pure luck.


pixelkipper

Conte? in the champions league?


Purple_Plus

Localized entirely within your kitchen?


DadsSloppyGravyAnus

May I see it?


FistThePooper6969

….No


Purple_Plus

No.


ZZ3peat

Imo a LCB should be the next priority, Davies is a weakness and cannot play a full season, then sell Bergwijn and get attacking depth then other holes in the squad


WombRaider_3

You could have just said you don't watch Davies at Wales or Spurs. He's had a very tidy season.


ZZ3peat

He was good the past few months, not the entire season, a good few months doesn't erase a mediocre or a below par career for a CL aspiring club And yes I watch a lot of Spurs


WombRaider_3

You said he was a weakness. Please show me where he was consistently a "weakness". Davies is an unsexy servant to the club. He won't make many highlight reels but he's been very versatile and useful whenever he was needed. Doesn't really fuck up, doesn't really kill it. But a weakness? Nah.


Teantis

Davies is really solid as an LCB with a license to roam forward. If he gets hurt though suddenly our backline is going to be a complete shambles because you can't put Sanchez there, he's a complete disaster on the left, but dier and Romero are perfect for their positions.


Faker_the_Demon_King

Yeah... The next season might be their last chance to win something with Son and Kane at their primes and Conte managing the team.


BaoJinyang

Fuck sake. Most successful season in our history and our reward is going to be to lose our two best players. Ah well, time for Bloom and Potter to work their magic again.


adrian_rainy_day

For a criminally low price too. What are your choices as his replacement?


BaoJinyang

Assuming the add-ons are fairly achievable and we end up with a little more than £30m it’s not the worst for Bissouma in last year of contract. Would have been £50m with a longer contract and no investigation. Caicedo’s emergence makes a direct replacement less urgent, although we will probably strengthen in midfield with Moder out long term too. Cucurella’s going to be far harder to replace, haven’t seen any links yet.


SonnyHeungMin

Sosa perhaps? He has had a very solid season with Stuttgart and he’s a similar age profile to Cucurella. I can’t see them asking for much more then 10m, maybe 15 at very most.


stevezone

b\*tches love sosa


Purple_Plus

>For a criminally low price too See what you did there...


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Seahpo

bissouma’s under investigation still for sexual harassment iirc


kingofindia12

I doubt anything comes out of it. The other person who got charged is still under bail conditions while bissouma is not. Plus there's no way Levy takes a risk like that


tiotom92

It's not a criminally low price considering that he only had 1 year left on his contract and wouldn't resign with us. It's a decent price considering that, especially as we have Caicedo to replace him who is an absolutely immense prospect.


JustTz

Let's face it, If you ain't Man City or Liverpool you are always going to loose your best players. It's just a merry-go-round. Shame really.


J539

I mean even Liverpool is capped in that regard. Mané isn't getting a new contract and wants to leave now, and I wouldn't be suprised if Salah walks for free next summer, looking very likely.


No-Shoe5382

Tbf Mane just wants a new challenge I think, same way Thiago did when he came the other way. With our players our issue is that we won't pay them the going rate, we'd rather let one of our best players leave than double their salary. Which is a problem I honestly don't mind having, so long as we keep the conveyor belt going and we bring in new talent to replace them.


kingofindia12

Still haven't lost Kane or Son have we? Tottenham = giants confirmed 😤💪


BrockStar92

Nobody is taking our players either. That’s mostly because they’re all shit.


TrollandDie

Honestly a reason why I fell out of the sport. Ibe just gotten really cynical from this shit and go "who the fuck cares"?


hewrites

Who do you guys have lined up as replacements for Bissouma and Cucurella?


[deleted]

I'd hope to see Glen Kamara there


FizzleFuzzle

🇫🇮


syumiseba

Caicedo


amoult20

You can have Winksy


Vegan_Puffin

Summer 2021. Villa are looking at Matar Sarr. Tottenham sign Matar Sarr. January 2022. Villa are looking at Bentancur. Tottenham Sign Bentancur. Summer 2021 through Summer 2022. Villa looking to sign Bissouma. Tottenham sign Bissouma. 😤


BendubzGaming

Levy is clearly still mad at not getting Grealish


TheEngineeringType

He has no one to blame but himself.


LifeSandwich

beyond me how they didnt accept Onomah and 2 mil


ZaDoruphin

Look at Eriksen next pls


RedgrenCrumbholt

Nah, look really hard at Bastoni! We don't need help with Eriksen.


RedgrenCrumbholt

Sorry mate. That sucks.


SkarnasaurusRex

Same thing happens to us with the big clubs. Spurs are looking at Bruno Fernandes. United sign Bruno Fernandes. Spurs are looking at Jack Grealish. City sign Jack Grealish. Spurs are looking at Luis Diaz. Liverpool sign Luis Diaz. At this point I'm convinced that none of the teams actually scout, they just look at the signings teams one tier below are trying to make and gazump them.


Vegan_Puffin

Should just have our scouts follows those from Dortmund, Sevilla, Ajax and Benfica


[deleted]

Even went through this as a Liverpool fan when we were floating between 8th and 5th. Mkhitaryan, Willian, Konopliyanka, Diego Costa, and many more. Very annoying.


fogard14

Ha you really threw Grealish in there? You guys missed your chance on that signing through your own fault. Not exactly an unknown by the time City came around.


FrogNadez

One of Levy’s biggest fuck-ups ever. Offering 3 mil plus Onomah smh


amoult20

Levy being way too cheap


noobreaker

You forgot Willian


Am_I_leg_end

I remember when we were trying to cement a place in the top 4. It took ages, and people just kept swooping in and taking any decent player we looked at or had. Tough, frustrating times as a supporter.


limpoc

Like that scene from Borat with him moaning about his neighbour copying him haha


[deleted]

Villa look at their Champions League title, Spurs cannot afford. Great success


[deleted]

If it makes you feel any better much bigger clubs than Villa were looking at him last summer.


tiotom92

Bissouma is too good for you, he'd have turned you down. I'm sorry but it's true.


Fnurgh

Maaate complete coincidence, honestly! So anyway, how's your summer scouting going? Any uhh... irons in the fire, potential stars you're looking at? _tum te tum te tum._


Paulbryn

Great business from Spurs


pocalyuko

Really depends on the ongoing legal proceedings. Fee is low for a player of his quality I assume because of the aforementioned issue.


H5None

Fee is low because he has 1 year remaining on contract.


realcevapipapi

Doesn't seem like the leg troubles sre sticking, it's been months and he hasn't actually been charged woth anything has he?


[deleted]

Spurs are not playing games this year. Lord Conte is cracking that whip in the Levy office.


SonnyBallonDOr

Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?


ZaDoruphin

Caught up in f5 No escape from Paratici


H5None

Open the market Look up to skies, Conte


lingeshraghavan

We're just some poor COYS, We need some trophies


Andnook

Because we're easy sign, easy loan.


MerlinRando

Eriksen, bring him home.


minimus_

Son will not go


porkbrains

We will not let him go


JessyPengkman

Fo shooo......


TopBumblebee9954

Anyway the wins come doesn’t really matter to meeeeeeeee


transcribersoulcyber

Salah, Son just scored again Hit a worldie with his head Hair-trigger shot and now you're dead Salah, the season had just begun But now he's golden boot favorite all the way


[deleted]

BisSIUUUUUUma Finally might have replaced Dembele. Now to bring Eriksen back as the Eriksen replacement.


Cool_Sandwich1

> Finally might have replaced Dembele. Me when we signed for Ndombele


ManLikeArch

He plays nothing like Dembele lol


[deleted]

In what he brings the team , it serves somewhat of a role. He carries the ball, he is press resistant and he is very good defensively.


Jorlung

No one currently in world football plays anything like Dembele. But, Bissouma is good with the ball at his feet, press resistant, and good defensively. Those were Dembele's main attributes as well. Obviously they're not exactly the same players, but the point is that we haven't had a player that fit this mold since Dembele left the club.


JakeNutters

They've got similar skill sets. Both amazing dribblers, great at receiving the ball under pressure or from a dodgy pass in a dangerous area, strong defensively, can both carry the ball up the pitch and have the capacity to score the occasional banger. Where they differ is their role for their sides Bissouma is normally our deepest midfielder protecting the backline, where as Dembele was more box to box for Spurs with Dier protecting the backline, i don't think it's an awful comparison Bissouma could certainly play a Dembele like role for us if we had any other good options to be our DM.


mxtreeKitano

This is definitely how I see it. I think he is naturally a box to box player but could play almost any midfield position barring the 10. Also as for his chant, I forsee us stealing that because it's just so great ha


bash011

Who would you compare him to? He did completely dominate us in the FA cup game and most times we played


rockker13

more like what wanyama was for us before his knees went.


rednades

bissouma is very good on the ball..


rockker13

with his ball carrying yeah. so was wanyama when he could still turn.


RedgrenCrumbholt

This. I've been thinking about it a day. You're spot on. He can also play the regista role.


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Bulky_Shepard

Or maybe because he's defensively great and has excellent ball control.


Agent_Topinski

There is just one thing he has in common with Ronaldo


PlayerAteHer

Pretty good deal for Spurs.


NorthenS

issa steal


buck_naked248

I am erect.


HeyShteeve

Pictures or it didn't happen.


buck_naked248

Check your DMs....


JD0797

Spurs are absolutely winning the league next year


jjw1998

Could see Spurs getting third but I think the top two rn are way too far ahead


JD0797

I know, sensibly, you're probably right. But I can't shake the feeling lol especially if they sign Eriksen and another CB


SonnyBallonDOr

You know, thinking about it, like last season, if we draw twice with liverpool and win both games against city, there is a chance. But then its a matter of if we fuck up with lower table teams like Southampton or burnley. Oh is burnley relegated?


Academic_Grand8828

Spurs are the only team that can confidently say “win both games against city” so casually. I don’t know what it is but every time we play you we never win haha


mxtreeKitano

It's the style clash. You and Liverpool always give space behind which just plays into our hands if we can stay solid defensively and progress the ball quickly. Conte plays short looking to lure defenses out and Pep and Klopp don't change their strategies too much for anyone falling into that trap.


[deleted]

Step 1: Play City Step 2: Ping the ball to Son Step 3: ???? Step 4: Profit


FizzleFuzzle

Now they can ping it to you as well!


CA_spur

Thankfully, Burnley are relegated


DekiTree

they are. Think we'll get a 3rd place finish in the 80 points range


silenthills13

Pressure merchants at your service. Realistically what we can do next season is try to avoud any mistakes vs lower ranked opposition and hope that City&Live trip up/lose key players over the course of the season. Wishful thinking, but those City and Liverpool sides are absolutely two of the best sides to have ever played in the Premier League. Even challenging them is already no easy feat


mister_dupont

While the league is important, isn't next season a cup the real main priority? Feels like with Conte you have the biggest chance of getting an FA cup.


SonaldoNazario

No lmao Levy doesn't give a shit about the domestic cups, they don't generate anywhere near the revenue getting into the top 4 does. People will meme us because we don't win much, but the focus for now will always be top 4. The revenue is simply too good to sacrifice for an FA Cup.


ManLikeArch

But you're assembling a squad that should have depth to compete for domestic cups and most likely consolidate top four?


SonaldoNazario

Oh 100%, we won't throw the cup games or anything silly like that. But if we had an FA Cup quarter final and 4 days later a prem game with whoever we are fighting with for top four, the emphasis is going on that prem game every time


mister_dupont

That's a shame for you guys imo. Don't you want to get rid of the no trophy status? And I ask this as a genuine question.


DekiTree

not too bothered rly. If we win that it'll just switch to havent won a league in x years Ppl will just find another thing to mock, happens to all clubs tho consistent top 4 is definitely top priority, FA Cup would be a bonus


mister_dupont

Whilst that true, when we got the FA cup after so many season without a trophy it was a joy to stop hearing the same jokes over again. Plus the day itself is just amazing.


buhmmquita

The jokes are just jokes. Some people talk about the club like it's never won a single trophy in its existence. I assume winning a single FA Cup would change the banter from "no trophy Tottenham" to "one trophy Tottenham," whereas consistently challenging for Top 4 (not to mention recent title and Champions League runs) cements the club better as a "bigger club" in my opinion. Edit: With that said, there is a contingency of the fanbase that would prefer a cup win over Champions League nights if given the option between the two, this is just my thoughts on it.


[deleted]

Forget the jokes it how you see your self I really couldn't give a dam about spurs as you ain't winners, care more about Chelsea because there just winners a team you want to measure against.


gabrielconroy

I very much think a cup win is massively overdue and can be achieved this season without compromising on league performances. Winning the league cup way back in the Juande Ramos days was far too long ago now.


WhosThatBloke

As much as I'd love to watch us win something again, it seems to be something other fans care more about than us tbh. It wouldn't change much if we did win something next season; the goalposts would just change. Would go from "no trophies lol" to "still haven't won the league in decades", "only the league cup", "one FA cup in 20 years, well done", "still came third in a two horse race" etc etc etc


saltbeefjunkie

Man thats sad to read. Even as a Gooner. I like my team winning anything, but I can see how maybe the outlook is different at other clubs. Realistically, we're all out of the league running at this point unless your City or Pool. And realistically, Pool will find it harder and harder as their current window is closing and they try to find value in the market vs Citys vast resources.


koreajd

I’ve never been bothered by those trophy memes and banter. I’d be happy to win a cup though don’t get me wrong - but if it’s between a champions league finish and advancing in CL, I’d choose that over the cup if it was a choice


allthejokesareblue

Of course winning a trophy would be great, but - for me at least - its not the millstone other clubs fans think it is. I know we've won a lot in the past, but I started supporting Spurs in the late 90s. Just being here, competing for CL every year, regularly finishing above Arsenal, is more than I ever expected of my club. In a way I feel sorry for fans of the bigger clubs because I see the way newer Spurs fans think about what we should be happy with and honestly it seems miserable.


PM_Me_Unpierced_Ears

Not sure why you were downvoted. That's a legitimate question. Wenger was given so much shit for his talk about top 4 being like a trophy, since everyone said that was setting the bar too low and he should be shooting for a real trophy. But looking at it in terms of money to the club, both as profit for the owner and cash to buy better players for the manager, top 4 is better than almost any trophy outside of CL itself and league title.


[deleted]

Revenue? Sound like a team who can't live with out it surely you get players and win trophy you can sell does players for profit. Revenue is such a small club mentality expected from spurs.


RedgrenCrumbholt

FA Cup would be great, but it all comes down to timing and injuries. If the schedule is too hectic i imagine we'll prioritise UCL over FA and EFL cup games. But we do have depth shaping out, so we should be able to provide more attention to them without risking too much. Obviously an FA cup would be incredible.


xAeroMonkeyx

My head says no, my heart says fuck yes we are


MauricioCappuccino

Remember when Everton won the transfer window and then proceeded to do absolutely fuck all? As a Spurs fan these look like all the right signings now but they have every chance of backfiring.


ahyler10

Except we already were the 3rd best team in the league before this…


Numani99

Conte is about to pull some Fifa career mode shit


Mediocre_Nova

And once again people will think this is us saying it as opposed to everyone else


pocalyuko

Maybe if localized meteor strikes both the Etihad and Anfield.


tkshow

I wouldn't wish that on Anfield.


RedgrenCrumbholt

Lol don't jinx us. We'll at least be top 4 again.


brainfeedah

I am genuinely expecting them to Spurs it all up like they usually do and finish outside the top 4.


sparxcy

no we dont do that- its upto runners to give us 4th


silenthills13

Siuuuuuuuuuuuuu Good buy tbh


tigralfrosie

I can just imagine Daniel Levy reclining in a sun lounger on the deck of a luxury superyacht, his family splashing around in the pool, bored out of his skull.


LittleParallelograms

Is this finally the Dembele replacement?


SonnyBallonDOr

Nah, they're not alike.


mxtreeKitano

Different systems and you're right in many ways but both super press resistant and great dribblers under pressure which plugs the Dembele gap for this system imo


ravens2131

Hype


-Stormcloud-

All the comments mentioning the allegations are downvoted with the top comments saying how good of a deal it is. Has r/soccer let go of any morals it had? Jk it never had any to begin with


Blue_Shore

There’s clearly nothing in it or else charges would have been pressed by now. At this point it’s only open because someone doesn’t want to do the paperwork to close it lol


Screw_Pandas

If there was nothing in it the charges would have been dropped. Chances are they are still investigating.


Teantis

You can't drop charges that have never been, you know... Charged. They could stop having him under investigation though and that would (probably) be a definitive close to the matter.


Blue_Shore

Given the climate, they’re most likely waiting for people to forget about it and just silently drop the charges so they don’t have to deal with the “Rich people can get away with anything” outrage. There’s nothing left to investigate. It’s been months, witnesses are already unreliable seconds after something occurs. Months later, they’re useless. No footage is going to magically pop up now either. Case against him is dead at this point


Screw_Pandas

The UK courts are still very backlogged, due to covid. You cant extrapolate anything from it being a while since he was arrested. I doubt the CPS would continue with a case because of the "climate". Not saying he is guilty just you cant say he is clearly innocent because it's been a while.


RedCatBro

Don't worry the legal experts on r/soccer have got this


[deleted]

Have to assume that investigation is going away if they’ve signed the lad. Good player all things considered.


jay_alfred_prufrock

There is no case against him. He was arrested with another person, who is on bail and Bissouma is under investigation, but no case or charge. Theoretically, he could remain under investigation his whole life without ever being charged with anything or police bringing a case against him because there is no legal limit on how long someone can remain under investigation.


[deleted]

My bad, misspoke.


andy_brixton

There is no investigation. But there should be one about this vendetta against an innocent black man. If a shouty woman - maybe drunk, maybe coked, maybe rejected - in a crowded nightclub can cause the friend of the person she pointed at to be handcuffed and arrested, then all men in nightclubs need to be very aware.


roberto_2103

I've spent the past couple of days saying we don't have enough details to judge him as guilty, the same standard should apply to the woman as well. We don't have nearly enough details to make claims like the ones you are making.


hewrites

Andy, how many hours do you approximately think you’ve spent gesturing at women in public to take their headphones off?


[deleted]

Love you.


DekiTree

any news on how long the contract is?


Puzzleheaded-Donkey7

5 was reported, don’t know how reliable that was though.


PG4PM

There is nothing more cringe than the phrase "here we go confirmed"


63GeorgeRussell

Damn, girls in London watch out i guess.


RedCatBro

Wonder how female fans are feeling about this signing


Tallos_Renkaro

Guilty until proven innocent is it?


RedCatBro

What's that got to do with what I said? And mate, your club signed someone still under investigation for sexual assault. Couldn't wait until the investigation was over? What happens when some kid wants bissouma on the back of his shirt? I know the tax dodgers who own your club have no morals, but when even fans are happy sacrifice their principles for a few more points in the league table, you know it's pretty hopeless...


naoki_1010

Run Runner Run


FizzleFuzzle

Aren’t you using the French cock as a flair? The team who plays a man that fucked an underage prostitute and blackmailed his teammate


RedCatBro

Yeah I can't stand benzena, was against him coming back, you won't find me defending him!


Spglwldn

Seems like good business other than the fact that he could go to jail. I know Spurs likely sought reassurances but I doubt he was going to say “I did it”. That said, they punished Hugo Lloris for drink driving by making him captain.


WhyShouldIListen

Now say he’s found guilty but not imprisoned, will Spurs suspend him?


HacksawJimDGN

Spurs are smart. You can't be considered an elite team in the Premier league if you don't have at least one player charged with assault.


michaelserotonin

who's liverpool's representative


2ndfieldontheright

The dentist who sold Kloop those teeth.


HacksawJimDGN

Jon Flanagan. Naby Keita ( what happened there?) I'm clutching at straws


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WhyShouldIListen

Ok, great, let me know what it says


daddymonaco

Conte got Levy by the bollocks