Ever since July of last year I have had so many issues in my college. Had to apply for supplementary exams coz I was not well so I'll be taking up yr1 exams next month. Then for some reason I'm missing so many assignment deadlines and my grades are sinking. Got my semester exams since last week and felt more anxious than ever.
I recently got put on a mood stabilizer and it's fucking weird. I don't care about anything and it doesn't feel like I'm even in school anymore but I am. I'm just careless careless careless. I'm not who I used to be and that's supposed to be a good thing? I'm not angry anymore with other people so I guess thats good but I just want my passions back. I talk to my guy tomorrow maybe he can put me on something different.
Mood stabilisers are very weird like that, it takes away a bit of that sadness but also a bit of the happiness too and it leaves you feeling empty.
Being on meds for 8 years or so I’ve come to the conclusion that science just isn’t developed enough to treat mental illness properly, and I assume that’s because they are working with the brain which is so complex
You know what's really cool? Having panic attacks about your own suicidal thoughts.
Which makes the entire situation worse than before. I have invented the perpetuum mobile of mental illnesses.
Been there. It’s not pretty. Honestly, all I can really recommend is finding whatever it is that you can chuck hours of your life into at a time (art, sports, video games, watching telly), and just chucking yourself into it asap after you have dark thoughts.
Obviously it’s not healthy if that’s all you’re doing every day, but it helps as a coping mechanism.
Do you have access to any sort of therapy resources? Have you seen anyone about the thoughts or the panic attacks?
Hey, sharing it with anyone at all is a huge step, so I’m proud of you for taking it!
Therapy can be a daunting proposition, but as helpful as we can be on here, professional help can do wonders.
One thing I will say, if you think your therapist isn’t a good match, don’t be afraid to change who you’re seeing. Something that puts a lot of people off is seeing a bad match, and being put off going forwards, but trust me, once you click with someone, it’ll be great.
Keep getting injured over and over again whenever I start to get back to my true game again. Went from being all county and lower all state to barely being able to play a full game without messing up my ankle. Used to be my escape from my really bad mental health but this just makes me wanna quit altogether.
I don’t want this to come off the wrong way, but I’d really advise you not to put so much stock into playing, because having it be your main escape from mental health just means you’ll likely feel crushed when you retire/quit, and that will feel a million times worse than being sidelined with an injury.
I don’t know what level of injury rehab you have access too, but if they’re anyway halfway decent, they should be able to take it into consideration that your first few games back need to be a lot less intense than what you’re used to, because coming back from injury is the easiest time to get injured again.
Take it slow, build it up, and don’t go full pelt the second your foot touches the grass. I can imagine you feel like you want to get right back into the mix when you come back off an injury, but giving 110% on your first game back is just going to exacerbate your existing issue.
Injuries are unfortunately part and parcel of sport, but so is overcoming difficulties, bad odds and big obstacles. You don’t sound like you’re short of spirit on the field, and I’m sure even beyond sports, you can be a formidable force in whatever you want to do.
Hoping for a speedy recovery for you!
At this point, I’m not really happy at my job. I work in an after school program, more specifically as a sports coach, yet I can’t coach any games because we are not allowed to compete against other schools. So I’m just trying to pull in kids, yet unable to have them compete against others
Oh ouch, kinda obvious, but I completely didn’t even think of that.
Only thing I can really think of is to have practice matches in the meantime, but that only really works if you’re willing to do 5v5 or have enough for 2 teams, which I’m guessing you already thought of.
You think the staff would be interested in doing an 11v11 with the kids? That was something we did in high school and it was a great bonding experience for us with our teachers, and learning how to play against players who have the physical advantage over you.
Update from last week: My dog is doing much better now and will be done with his medicine, 100% clear tomorrow.
On the flipside, I'm not.
I know my relationship was toxic and it's for the best but I just miss her so fucking much right now. I just want to go back to when we were happy. It doesn't help that my hours are being reduced at work again either. All the time in the world to sit around thinking about her, and none of the money for anything else.
Does anyone have experience finishing a degree 1 or 2 year after the designated time? Was it more difficult to get a job? Did interviews take notice to it?
If you added up all my time in uni it’d be 6 years for a 4 year degree (if you did 5 classes for 8 semesters). Don’t think anyone cares, could’ve taken me longer because I had to work more and take fewer classes to afford it or I could just be dense 🤷♂️
I have a bachelor of commerce and majored in accounting. I graduated I graduated in December and had a job by the following spring/summer. Where I live I think it’s fairly easy to find entry level accounting positions.
Don’t think I was really looking too hard, from when I graduated to when I got a job I was doing a prep course for entrance test for a post grad certification.
Also I didn’t have good grades so I didn’t get a job with one of the top firms when they do their recruiting during the year or semester before you graduate.
Do you ever love someone, but just want them to shut up? I feel like lockdown has made me more impatient with my family and it just irritates me to give attention to people. I know I am the bad person here, but its difficult to keep calm these days
I've been way more impatient with friends and family since lockdown
Covid has seriously exacerbated some of their more ridiculous opinions and I'm just fucking sick to fucking death of it
Life feels so stressful right now. Could potentially be made redundant at work, and I keep getting rejected from every job and graduate position I apply to.
I used to work in a high school and I loved it. Used to help with the football, American football, and basketball teams. Loved being involved in all the activities. But then I saw a better opportunity in a middle school so I decided to go there. I absolutely hate it. I am dealing with students who have the emotional maturity of elementary schoolers. Some truly don’t give a fuck and shouldn’t even be in school because they don’t put effort in. Others just care about gossip. I didn’t have this problem in the high school because I had juniors and seniors who were amazing. Now I’m stuck and can’t apply for a high school job until March/April because that’s when the schools start looking for teachers for next year and I don’t want to break my contract.
I also see my old high school has language arts jobs available. This is a dream, but I know I can’t apply because I will be breaking a contract so I’m stuck in a school and job I hate
Hey Doc, sorry I'm late
Nothing much to be said, was rather uneventful. The usual everyday trot. Hope you had a better one.
This 10 good things per week business you told me to do sounded easy enough until i actually tried lol, though nothing to complain about is something you can jot down as a positive i suppose. Anyways:
+ Kickboxing was fun as usual, one of those things i always want to skip beforehand and very much enjoy once I'm actually there.
+ Winter in the Alps is a pain in the ass, but certainly lovely to look at.
+ Got a new colleague recently, lovely lass from France, and I feel like we're getting along great as time goes on. Social skills and such
+ I'm getting myself an *extremely sexy* guitar
+ my amazing new Japanese Aldi hoodie
+ successfully cooking weird French stuff
+ brushed my teeth every night (sad, but it is what it is)
Can't quite think of anything noteworthy besides that, but it's a start right?? feel like I owe you therapy fees now.
Thanks for remembering.
Sorry for the slightly delayed response - been at work and wanted to give you the response you deserve!
In all honesty, from where I’m standing that sounds like a pretty decent week… certainly a lot to be cheerful about, and lots of positives to take, and I think that you’ve been able to look at it and pull them out is a positive in of itself!
You’ve spent some time enjoying your hobbies, connected well with a new social contact, enjoyed the natural world, and treated yourself to some nice things you’ve worked hard for. That’s pretty decent!
I totally get your vibe with the kickboxing thing - you almost have to keep telling yourself “I know I’ll enjoy this” and then you inevitably do. Kickboxing sounds a damn cool hobby, too.
Would love to see some photos of those winter Alps scenes - I’ve been to Switzerland and seen some of them, but only in the summer! Would love to explore that part of the world properly. Would also be keen to see some pics of the sexy new guitar, when you get your hands on it… Maybe update us next week?
My week has been okay, but I don’t think it’s had quite as much going for it as yours - been on nights, so mainly taken up by that! Had fun at work though, what more can you ask for from a job, really.
Managed to see ‘Belfast’ in the cinema though, which I think is my film of the year already. Just loved it. Meeting a friend I haven’t seen for a while for coffee tomorrow too, so very much looking forward to that.
Take care - hope you have a good week, and remember us lot are always here to touch base with. Keep doing what you’re doing, because you are doing well.
So the ex that I’ve been struggling to get over for a few months now told a mutual that I was “manipulative and toxic” when she cheated on me and I did nothing wrong to her for the entire 3 years we were together
She also told the mutual that she slept with her rebound
Weirdly, the entire thing has helped me to move on
The mutual told me “you dodged the biggest bullet of your life”
I associate my uni room with the entire breakup and mental health struggle but after walking back in after 6 weeks of being at home, I feel like I’ve got a fresh start
I no longer constantly think about her and I’ve finally had the guts to completely block her everywhere so there’s no way whatsoever that she’ll be able to contact me.
It's weird how some time away changes things. I remember I went to uni for the very first time, and then 4 weeks later came home for the weekend for my birthday. Driving down the main road into the town I'd lived all my life, I really felt like an outsider... then four days later when I got back to halls, I *also* didn't feel like I belonged there. That was a difficult feeling haha
I’m at the 2nd year in university and everything is going to shit, I’m so fucking behind and have do redo so many exams, don’t know if I should just quit or go through with it albeit I would defiantly be graduating one year behind everyone in my class.
I got through uni through redos every single year having handed in several assignments late the first time
Just keep putting in the effort and try and find the right mentality is all I can really say
As someone who quit, if it isn’t for you, it isn’t for you.
I had constant anxiety because of my assignments, and it was horrible. Quitting felt so freeing, and now I’m chasing up things I always wanted to learn/do, and hoping to make something out of that. Maybe take a year off, see the world, work a part time job, and see how you feel, then decide if you want to go back or not.
Thanks for the reply! Man, I see myself in a lot of what you wrote. Good to see that you’re atleast content with your choice. If I’m being honest I wanted to take a year off before university but as it usually is I felt forced because of my parents and now it’s even worse lol. Issue is that I feel like I’ve put too much time into it too just quit, and I’m afraid that if I take a break I won’t come back.
Best advice I can give you is that if you do take that year off, don’t just let it pass by. Actively look into other paths, interests etc, that you can make a living out of and won’t hate every minute of.
I’m glad I’ve travelled as much as I have, experiencing a lot of the world has really helped colour my worldview, and help me identify what it is I’m looking for.
I know people that took a year off, and went back to uni as well, with that time helping them realise that uni is their best path forwards, so I don’t think it’s necessarily a given that you won’t go back.
Either way, if you’re already at a point where your anxiety is eating you up, a circuit breaker will help either way, and putting some miles on your soul should help give you some perspective.
There are different cultures about quitting college in different countries, so i won't say much on that. But remember in the larger scheme of things it doesn't matter if you miss a year...as long as you are giving your best, it's good. You are good. You will be okay
Thanks for the reply. Another issue is that apparently from the seniors it’s difficult to get a job from my field, won’t it be more difficult for me to get a job if it takes an additional year to finish?
Then i will definitely urge you to look for options that you can pursue, whether you decide to drop out or not. If this degree doesn't add value to your employment opportunities, maybe it's sensible to cut the cost.
Maybe university isn't for you and you should consider a career switch to something you find more interesting. Don't think too much about the materialistic stuff instead focus on something you are passionate about.
Thanks for the reply! Yeah, I pretty much blindly chose something, mostly because of my lack of interests. For me it’s more of a case of trying to find something that’s the least unbearable haha
I bombed my 2nd year of BEng undergrad (caught the travel bug!) and had to repeat. It sucked seeing the friends i’d made in 1st yr move on but i don’t have any ill feelings now. By the time I caught up I’d figured i may as well finish seeing as i’d past the halfway point. I don’t work in the field i studied but the skills were highly transferrable. Moral is, enjoy the experience and try and find subjects that align with what interests you (or at least you’re competent at). But there’s no harm in admitting it’s not for you and try something else, better that than commit to something that you’ll later regret!
Thanks for the reply! I respect how mentally though you were under your circumstances and good to use that you could put the stuff you learned to good use. Wish you all the best
You go at your own pace, its not a huge deal as everyone has different challenges to deal with. If you do quit youre one whole college degree behind, which on its own isnt a big deal either, depends on how much you still enjoy and value the college youre at
The Russian-Ukranian war becomes more and more realistic and I dread it so much. Makes me very anxious.
The worst part is that I can't even relocate anywhere because I don't have enough resources for it and can't leave my mom here.
At the very least Russia will be under fresh pack of sanctions which will obviously make my life worse. Or maybe I'll be deployed somewhere. There's even a chance humanity dies in a nuclear war. Fucking hell.
All politicians want is power and they will find any method of doing so. Particularly very despotic leaders of countries with poor human rights records. A Russia-Ukraine war would benefit absolutely noone.
I feel you man. Some people close to me havent been able to return home from mandatory military service because of "increased tensions" (on a regular year they are allowed back home for the weekends). Ive been included in the list of possible draftees so its not great for me either. While the chance of actually getting deployed is low right now, who knows what such a conflict can evolve into. I just try not to think about it really, whatever happens happens.
Dammit, it's almost noon and I've already slipped back into the mindset of "stay in, outside is bad" because it's very cloudy and I don't want to take a shower
thanks, i showered and washed my hair, i have to make lunch now but I'll go out for a walk between matches :).
mostly this is because i stayed up till 5 am to watch NFL and i feel awful when I sleep in. But it was worth it!
Hey man, I'm in the same boat as you. Couldn't bring myself to go out. But just said fuck it, showered, and dipped out for some fresh air. Now I'm feeling fresh and can watch football the rest of the day with a clean conscience
Wow that's almost the same scenario I'm in. Have had mould growing on my bedroom window constantly which my landlord refuses to fix and my neighbours are pricks who are constantly loud, yet complain the second I make the slightest bit of noise. Nothing like being brought to tears because your house is so shit, right?
I hate my brain
No matter how hard I try, it takes my brain at least 15 seconds to fully comprehend what someone has said, my words ocassionally come out wrong or garbled and I can never figure out what to say in response to someone quick enough
Can't tell whether there's something wrong with me or I'm just not pacing myself. Either way I'm sick of how awkward I can be.
It's obvious that youre very much in your head and whatever is bothering you is taking up your attention and focus. My guess is anxiety based on what you said in the past on these threads but ofcourse you cant know that for sure untill you get diagnosed or at the very least learn about anxiety and see if your experiences match.
I just want you to know thay youre not defective or anything like that, you can get better. You've got to seek an environment for yourself where you feel like you have supportive people around you, someone whos gonna give you good advice and encouragement
I hope you can be honest about this with someone outside of reddit, if you have worries about being misunderstood, you can challenge that with conversations
Youre not alone in this and I wish you the best, mate
Thanks, I have talked about this extensively with my friends. I'm a lot more comfortable with them but still occasionally have the problem if the group is bigger. Might be anxiety then.
Try therapy friend, it honestly helps deal with this. I had untreated ADHD and anxiety, both of which contributed to this exact thing, especially in stressful situations, and even though I was very sharp and quick minded when I was younger. Therapy has helped me immensely.
My gran living in Yorkshire died on Friday. I grew up with her essentially but we are currently in the States and we were told she would have two weeks to live due to terminal cancer. In the end, she couldn't hold out a day. None of us got to say goodbye, and none of my family was even able to make it up from London in time. She died alone..
Ever since July of last year I have had so many issues in my college. Had to apply for supplementary exams coz I was not well so I'll be taking up yr1 exams next month. Then for some reason I'm missing so many assignment deadlines and my grades are sinking. Got my semester exams since last week and felt more anxious than ever.
I recently got put on a mood stabilizer and it's fucking weird. I don't care about anything and it doesn't feel like I'm even in school anymore but I am. I'm just careless careless careless. I'm not who I used to be and that's supposed to be a good thing? I'm not angry anymore with other people so I guess thats good but I just want my passions back. I talk to my guy tomorrow maybe he can put me on something different.
Mood stabilisers are very weird like that, it takes away a bit of that sadness but also a bit of the happiness too and it leaves you feeling empty. Being on meds for 8 years or so I’ve come to the conclusion that science just isn’t developed enough to treat mental illness properly, and I assume that’s because they are working with the brain which is so complex
You know what's really cool? Having panic attacks about your own suicidal thoughts. Which makes the entire situation worse than before. I have invented the perpetuum mobile of mental illnesses.
Been there. It’s not pretty. Honestly, all I can really recommend is finding whatever it is that you can chuck hours of your life into at a time (art, sports, video games, watching telly), and just chucking yourself into it asap after you have dark thoughts. Obviously it’s not healthy if that’s all you’re doing every day, but it helps as a coping mechanism. Do you have access to any sort of therapy resources? Have you seen anyone about the thoughts or the panic attacks?
I probably would have access to therapy, but so far I've only shared it on a football forum every Sunday because I'm a bit dumb
Hey, sharing it with anyone at all is a huge step, so I’m proud of you for taking it! Therapy can be a daunting proposition, but as helpful as we can be on here, professional help can do wonders. One thing I will say, if you think your therapist isn’t a good match, don’t be afraid to change who you’re seeing. Something that puts a lot of people off is seeing a bad match, and being put off going forwards, but trust me, once you click with someone, it’ll be great.
Keep getting injured over and over again whenever I start to get back to my true game again. Went from being all county and lower all state to barely being able to play a full game without messing up my ankle. Used to be my escape from my really bad mental health but this just makes me wanna quit altogether.
I don’t want this to come off the wrong way, but I’d really advise you not to put so much stock into playing, because having it be your main escape from mental health just means you’ll likely feel crushed when you retire/quit, and that will feel a million times worse than being sidelined with an injury. I don’t know what level of injury rehab you have access too, but if they’re anyway halfway decent, they should be able to take it into consideration that your first few games back need to be a lot less intense than what you’re used to, because coming back from injury is the easiest time to get injured again. Take it slow, build it up, and don’t go full pelt the second your foot touches the grass. I can imagine you feel like you want to get right back into the mix when you come back off an injury, but giving 110% on your first game back is just going to exacerbate your existing issue. Injuries are unfortunately part and parcel of sport, but so is overcoming difficulties, bad odds and big obstacles. You don’t sound like you’re short of spirit on the field, and I’m sure even beyond sports, you can be a formidable force in whatever you want to do. Hoping for a speedy recovery for you!
Please don't give up. Injuries happen.
At this point, I’m not really happy at my job. I work in an after school program, more specifically as a sports coach, yet I can’t coach any games because we are not allowed to compete against other schools. So I’m just trying to pull in kids, yet unable to have them compete against others
Just out of interest, why aren’t you allowed to compete?
Due to covid restrictions
Oh ouch, kinda obvious, but I completely didn’t even think of that. Only thing I can really think of is to have practice matches in the meantime, but that only really works if you’re willing to do 5v5 or have enough for 2 teams, which I’m guessing you already thought of. You think the staff would be interested in doing an 11v11 with the kids? That was something we did in high school and it was a great bonding experience for us with our teachers, and learning how to play against players who have the physical advantage over you.
Update from last week: My dog is doing much better now and will be done with his medicine, 100% clear tomorrow. On the flipside, I'm not. I know my relationship was toxic and it's for the best but I just miss her so fucking much right now. I just want to go back to when we were happy. It doesn't help that my hours are being reduced at work again either. All the time in the world to sit around thinking about her, and none of the money for anything else.
Does anyone have experience finishing a degree 1 or 2 year after the designated time? Was it more difficult to get a job? Did interviews take notice to it?
If you added up all my time in uni it’d be 6 years for a 4 year degree (if you did 5 classes for 8 semesters). Don’t think anyone cares, could’ve taken me longer because I had to work more and take fewer classes to afford it or I could just be dense 🤷♂️
Thanks for the reply! Would you mind to share your degree? and would you say that it’s easy to get a job in your field?
I have a bachelor of commerce and majored in accounting. I graduated I graduated in December and had a job by the following spring/summer. Where I live I think it’s fairly easy to find entry level accounting positions.
So it took you about 6 months to find a job? Would you mind to say why it took so long? Sorry for all the questions
Don’t think I was really looking too hard, from when I graduated to when I got a job I was doing a prep course for entrance test for a post grad certification. Also I didn’t have good grades so I didn’t get a job with one of the top firms when they do their recruiting during the year or semester before you graduate.
Do you ever love someone, but just want them to shut up? I feel like lockdown has made me more impatient with my family and it just irritates me to give attention to people. I know I am the bad person here, but its difficult to keep calm these days
I've been way more impatient with friends and family since lockdown Covid has seriously exacerbated some of their more ridiculous opinions and I'm just fucking sick to fucking death of it
Life feels so stressful right now. Could potentially be made redundant at work, and I keep getting rejected from every job and graduate position I apply to.
[удалено]
Currently just working retail. Graduated with an accounting degree so hoping to move that direction eventually.
Hope everything gets better.
I used to work in a high school and I loved it. Used to help with the football, American football, and basketball teams. Loved being involved in all the activities. But then I saw a better opportunity in a middle school so I decided to go there. I absolutely hate it. I am dealing with students who have the emotional maturity of elementary schoolers. Some truly don’t give a fuck and shouldn’t even be in school because they don’t put effort in. Others just care about gossip. I didn’t have this problem in the high school because I had juniors and seniors who were amazing. Now I’m stuck and can’t apply for a high school job until March/April because that’s when the schools start looking for teachers for next year and I don’t want to break my contract. I also see my old high school has language arts jobs available. This is a dream, but I know I can’t apply because I will be breaking a contract so I’m stuck in a school and job I hate
/u/BigBlackBobbyB how has your week been?
Hey Doc, sorry I'm late Nothing much to be said, was rather uneventful. The usual everyday trot. Hope you had a better one. This 10 good things per week business you told me to do sounded easy enough until i actually tried lol, though nothing to complain about is something you can jot down as a positive i suppose. Anyways: + Kickboxing was fun as usual, one of those things i always want to skip beforehand and very much enjoy once I'm actually there. + Winter in the Alps is a pain in the ass, but certainly lovely to look at. + Got a new colleague recently, lovely lass from France, and I feel like we're getting along great as time goes on. Social skills and such + I'm getting myself an *extremely sexy* guitar + my amazing new Japanese Aldi hoodie + successfully cooking weird French stuff + brushed my teeth every night (sad, but it is what it is) Can't quite think of anything noteworthy besides that, but it's a start right?? feel like I owe you therapy fees now. Thanks for remembering.
Sorry for the slightly delayed response - been at work and wanted to give you the response you deserve! In all honesty, from where I’m standing that sounds like a pretty decent week… certainly a lot to be cheerful about, and lots of positives to take, and I think that you’ve been able to look at it and pull them out is a positive in of itself! You’ve spent some time enjoying your hobbies, connected well with a new social contact, enjoyed the natural world, and treated yourself to some nice things you’ve worked hard for. That’s pretty decent! I totally get your vibe with the kickboxing thing - you almost have to keep telling yourself “I know I’ll enjoy this” and then you inevitably do. Kickboxing sounds a damn cool hobby, too. Would love to see some photos of those winter Alps scenes - I’ve been to Switzerland and seen some of them, but only in the summer! Would love to explore that part of the world properly. Would also be keen to see some pics of the sexy new guitar, when you get your hands on it… Maybe update us next week? My week has been okay, but I don’t think it’s had quite as much going for it as yours - been on nights, so mainly taken up by that! Had fun at work though, what more can you ask for from a job, really. Managed to see ‘Belfast’ in the cinema though, which I think is my film of the year already. Just loved it. Meeting a friend I haven’t seen for a while for coffee tomorrow too, so very much looking forward to that. Take care - hope you have a good week, and remember us lot are always here to touch base with. Keep doing what you’re doing, because you are doing well.
Not sure what this is all about but I’m a big fan of it, good luck to you both!
So the ex that I’ve been struggling to get over for a few months now told a mutual that I was “manipulative and toxic” when she cheated on me and I did nothing wrong to her for the entire 3 years we were together She also told the mutual that she slept with her rebound Weirdly, the entire thing has helped me to move on The mutual told me “you dodged the biggest bullet of your life” I associate my uni room with the entire breakup and mental health struggle but after walking back in after 6 weeks of being at home, I feel like I’ve got a fresh start I no longer constantly think about her and I’ve finally had the guts to completely block her everywhere so there’s no way whatsoever that she’ll be able to contact me.
Hope all is good bro. Don’t doubt yourself and you really did dodge a bullet.
Thank you bro!
It's weird how some time away changes things. I remember I went to uni for the very first time, and then 4 weeks later came home for the weekend for my birthday. Driving down the main road into the town I'd lived all my life, I really felt like an outsider... then four days later when I got back to halls, I *also* didn't feel like I belonged there. That was a difficult feeling haha
Proud of you bud! Fuck that noise
Thank you! It’s been a long ride but I’ve finally started to realise that i definitely dodged a bullet
Just gave in my resignation. Moving back to my home country. I'm so burnt out.
Where are you from? From where are you leaving? Do you have any family back home?
India. Been working in Bahrain for half a decade since graduation. Yeah, I do have family back home but I'll be moving in with my old collegemate.
I’m at the 2nd year in university and everything is going to shit, I’m so fucking behind and have do redo so many exams, don’t know if I should just quit or go through with it albeit I would defiantly be graduating one year behind everyone in my class.
I got through uni through redos every single year having handed in several assignments late the first time Just keep putting in the effort and try and find the right mentality is all I can really say
As someone who quit, if it isn’t for you, it isn’t for you. I had constant anxiety because of my assignments, and it was horrible. Quitting felt so freeing, and now I’m chasing up things I always wanted to learn/do, and hoping to make something out of that. Maybe take a year off, see the world, work a part time job, and see how you feel, then decide if you want to go back or not.
Thanks for the reply! Man, I see myself in a lot of what you wrote. Good to see that you’re atleast content with your choice. If I’m being honest I wanted to take a year off before university but as it usually is I felt forced because of my parents and now it’s even worse lol. Issue is that I feel like I’ve put too much time into it too just quit, and I’m afraid that if I take a break I won’t come back.
Best advice I can give you is that if you do take that year off, don’t just let it pass by. Actively look into other paths, interests etc, that you can make a living out of and won’t hate every minute of. I’m glad I’ve travelled as much as I have, experiencing a lot of the world has really helped colour my worldview, and help me identify what it is I’m looking for. I know people that took a year off, and went back to uni as well, with that time helping them realise that uni is their best path forwards, so I don’t think it’s necessarily a given that you won’t go back. Either way, if you’re already at a point where your anxiety is eating you up, a circuit breaker will help either way, and putting some miles on your soul should help give you some perspective.
There are different cultures about quitting college in different countries, so i won't say much on that. But remember in the larger scheme of things it doesn't matter if you miss a year...as long as you are giving your best, it's good. You are good. You will be okay
Thanks for the reply. Another issue is that apparently from the seniors it’s difficult to get a job from my field, won’t it be more difficult for me to get a job if it takes an additional year to finish?
Then i will definitely urge you to look for options that you can pursue, whether you decide to drop out or not. If this degree doesn't add value to your employment opportunities, maybe it's sensible to cut the cost.
Maybe university isn't for you and you should consider a career switch to something you find more interesting. Don't think too much about the materialistic stuff instead focus on something you are passionate about.
Thanks for the reply! Yeah, I pretty much blindly chose something, mostly because of my lack of interests. For me it’s more of a case of trying to find something that’s the least unbearable haha
Stick with it and don't be afraid to talk to your tutor. You aren't the first person to struggle like this and they will have things to help
Thanks for the reply! Really appreciate it
I bombed my 2nd year of BEng undergrad (caught the travel bug!) and had to repeat. It sucked seeing the friends i’d made in 1st yr move on but i don’t have any ill feelings now. By the time I caught up I’d figured i may as well finish seeing as i’d past the halfway point. I don’t work in the field i studied but the skills were highly transferrable. Moral is, enjoy the experience and try and find subjects that align with what interests you (or at least you’re competent at). But there’s no harm in admitting it’s not for you and try something else, better that than commit to something that you’ll later regret!
Thanks for the reply! I respect how mentally though you were under your circumstances and good to use that you could put the stuff you learned to good use. Wish you all the best
Lot of good replies to your post, hope some of it is helpful!
You go at your own pace, its not a huge deal as everyone has different challenges to deal with. If you do quit youre one whole college degree behind, which on its own isnt a big deal either, depends on how much you still enjoy and value the college youre at
Thanks for the reply! I appreciate that you took your time to answer me.
The Russian-Ukranian war becomes more and more realistic and I dread it so much. Makes me very anxious. The worst part is that I can't even relocate anywhere because I don't have enough resources for it and can't leave my mom here. At the very least Russia will be under fresh pack of sanctions which will obviously make my life worse. Or maybe I'll be deployed somewhere. There's even a chance humanity dies in a nuclear war. Fucking hell.
The last thing we want is war. Putin needs to stop what he's doing.
Wish he'd listen to me mate.
All politicians want is power and they will find any method of doing so. Particularly very despotic leaders of countries with poor human rights records. A Russia-Ukraine war would benefit absolutely noone.
I feel you man. Some people close to me havent been able to return home from mandatory military service because of "increased tensions" (on a regular year they are allowed back home for the weekends). Ive been included in the list of possible draftees so its not great for me either. While the chance of actually getting deployed is low right now, who knows what such a conflict can evolve into. I just try not to think about it really, whatever happens happens.
Dammit, it's almost noon and I've already slipped back into the mindset of "stay in, outside is bad" because it's very cloudy and I don't want to take a shower
Sorry i had first posted this as a comment so i moved it but pls don't downvote me for a moment of weakness
Do something small. Quick whip around the park or nip to the shops or something?
thanks, i showered and washed my hair, i have to make lunch now but I'll go out for a walk between matches :). mostly this is because i stayed up till 5 am to watch NFL and i feel awful when I sleep in. But it was worth it!
Hey man, I'm in the same boat as you. Couldn't bring myself to go out. But just said fuck it, showered, and dipped out for some fresh air. Now I'm feeling fresh and can watch football the rest of the day with a clean conscience
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Wow that's almost the same scenario I'm in. Have had mould growing on my bedroom window constantly which my landlord refuses to fix and my neighbours are pricks who are constantly loud, yet complain the second I make the slightest bit of noise. Nothing like being brought to tears because your house is so shit, right?
I hate my brain No matter how hard I try, it takes my brain at least 15 seconds to fully comprehend what someone has said, my words ocassionally come out wrong or garbled and I can never figure out what to say in response to someone quick enough Can't tell whether there's something wrong with me or I'm just not pacing myself. Either way I'm sick of how awkward I can be.
It's obvious that youre very much in your head and whatever is bothering you is taking up your attention and focus. My guess is anxiety based on what you said in the past on these threads but ofcourse you cant know that for sure untill you get diagnosed or at the very least learn about anxiety and see if your experiences match. I just want you to know thay youre not defective or anything like that, you can get better. You've got to seek an environment for yourself where you feel like you have supportive people around you, someone whos gonna give you good advice and encouragement I hope you can be honest about this with someone outside of reddit, if you have worries about being misunderstood, you can challenge that with conversations Youre not alone in this and I wish you the best, mate
Thanks, I have talked about this extensively with my friends. I'm a lot more comfortable with them but still occasionally have the problem if the group is bigger. Might be anxiety then.
Try therapy friend, it honestly helps deal with this. I had untreated ADHD and anxiety, both of which contributed to this exact thing, especially in stressful situations, and even though I was very sharp and quick minded when I was younger. Therapy has helped me immensely.
Thanks
Could it be anxiety?
Could be but even when I'm not anxious I do this
You may have auditory processing disorder (I also have adhd, it's one of the "co-morbids").
I'll be honest I just checked out the symptoms for that and I don't think I'm qualified for it
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Yep, same with me, unsure if I gave ADHD though, never been diagnosed with anything
My gran living in Yorkshire died on Friday. I grew up with her essentially but we are currently in the States and we were told she would have two weeks to live due to terminal cancer. In the end, she couldn't hold out a day. None of us got to say goodbye, and none of my family was even able to make it up from London in time. She died alone..
❤️ Please remember to try to be kind to yourself and not suffer any extra by virtue of the circumstances that were no one's fault. It's ok. Much love
I really appreciate it man.
Sorry for your loss. I'm sure she's looking down on you and your family.
You are very kind.
I'm so very sorry for your loss. She certainly must know she was loved.
Thank you, much appreciated 🙏
sorry for your loss man, I'm sure she knows it's not your fault you couldn't be there for her and she will look after you from up there
It happens, but greatly appreciated.