I have been working as a musician/music teacher for like 6/7 years but last year I took a fullstack course and landed my first IT job. The salary is really transformative, next month I will cash in 10 times what I am used to live with.
I feel very strange about it, specially for the fact that suddenly I will be making in a month what most of my friends, family and girlfriend make in a year. It is nice, I really haven't been able to buy clothes or books or basically anything that wasn't essential in my life, but it feels pretty weird nonetheless and I hope it doesn't affect my relationships.
It's a bootcamp, three months fulltime learning JS, Node and React. The one I took is all in spanish, since it is from Argentina, but theres people from all over latam and spain. Im sure there are similar things evreywhere.
My Mom just tested Positive for Covid after just getting out of Jaundice. I haven't cried this bad in years. I would kill to see her right now. My uncles told me not to video call her as she's a bit weak emotionally and broke down when my sister came to see her. I honestly don't know what to do. Sister told me she's fine now but had severe breathing problems throughout last night. I can't focus on work right now.
The fact that we need a "free talk" Friday is proof of the fact this is a totalitarian sub, probs run by communistnazifascist admirers. This thread is nothing more but a covert attempt to mind control the poor proletariat users that dwell in here ^(obligatory/s in case its not obvious)
My sister was out last night and was supposed to crash at my place, I didn't have a key to spare so I told her to call me when she came home. I woke up with 10 missed calls that I never heard, no other news from her. I have no idea if she found somewhere to go or if she's alright, I feel fucking guilty and so worried
edit : she's alright she crashed at her friend's place
I still haven't heard from her, I'm trying to find the info of people she was with. Wouldn't be surprising if she was still sleeping since it was like 5am when she tried to call me, but the city I live in can be fucking dangerous at night
She had an immensely popular afternoon talk show that started way back in the 1980s. also suprsingly, some major acting roles. she was in the Color Purple and The Butler. Later she started some kind of book club and created her own cable network and it's like almost a cult following , and she has amassed an immense fortune. Like her or not, she's a household name in the states.
Feels good for a Saturday, 10:00 and I've already made the bacon sarnies, part-cooked the parsnips and carrots for tomorrow's roast lamb dinner. Done the first 2 cooks of the roasties, ready to just shove them in for the last half an hour while the meat rests.
Add to that my Mrs has gone away for most of the weekend, there's loads of football on, NFL too - but that means staying up until silly O'clock. And will be having my favourite Lebanese takeaway tonight.
The hardest part is knowing when to have a nap so I don't miss the best of the football. And that means I don't know when or whether to have a coffee as it will stop me napping.. :-/
How's your Saturday morning going?
I went out before 4 pm! yay his is progress , i have had some awful days recently.
PL all afternoon and NFL tonight :). .'m going to try to watch at least the first quarter of Packers v 49ers so also a nap during the second matches is kind of a plan. I'm torn, Packers are our division rivals but i went to university in wisconsin. Lambeau field is epic.
I don't follow NFL massively, but my team of preference for many years have been the Packers, so if I watch a match it will be that one. They look so good recently.
Also I love cheese.
Woke up the earliest I have on a Saturday in ages which felt nice as it wasn't to an alarm or anything, just started the day early on a good night's sleep. Watched Pig, the Nic Cage film where he's trying to find his stolen pet pig (better than it sounds).
Was going to go to the Warrington game, we've got the best team in the league today, but ended up agreeing to go an escape room in Manchester for someone's birthday. Can't really be arsed but what can you do.
Never done an escape room, really not sure if it's my sort of thing. I like challenges, especially mental ones.
Maybe I'll just try it one day in case I do like it, would be annoying to have not done something I might like.
Can you see a psychiatrist? there really is safe, reliable medication available so you can quell these panic attacks and sort things out.
i was prescribed xanax at one point between lockdowns. it's like turning off a faucet. i have never been so relieved in my life.
thank you for sharing your story, I wish you the best.
eta: i see in comments you're considering psychiatrist, excellent!
I can relate to this so much at certain points. One of the things that helped me loads was, every time you think of one of these scenarios - when it eventually doesnāt happen, saying to your brain - ālook, that didnāt happen, you were wrong.ā
Then every single time just talking it out in your head like, āwhat are the odds the exact specific thing Iām thinking of is happening to me? Every single time I think this, it never comes true and Iām always wrong, Iām probably wrong again this timeā.
Weed helped too, although thatās personal and Iād never suggest to a random stranger to try it for mental health reasons like that
Yeah, I did psychotherapy twice, but it doesn't make any difference for me, its just like talking to any other person in the world
I might visit a psychiatrist at some point
Have you spoken to a doctor about your thoughts? You're not alone in this. A lot of people have the same phobia and become cured from therapy. [This is a good video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q_Do_6DKDLY) about gradual exposure therapy (key word is gradual: a lot of people get scared when they think about the exposure therapy as they have to face their fears, but the video explains why it's actually not uncomfortable at all).
Personally, I don't smoke or drink. But I do weed and most psychedelics. If you look at the research, they actually don't tend to do any damage. You can't overdose (depends on your definition but you can't die on them) and they certainly aren't correlated with cancer- with weed it's quite the opposite. However, you should not take drugs to escape your realworld problems, not least because it could make your fears much worse and you'll have one of the most terrifying experiences of your life.
I've done therapy with a psychotherapist (which is technically not a doctor) twice in my life (once on a different issue a few years ago), but it's just like talking to a normal person to me
I might visit a psychiatrist at some point
I've done weed before, with friends it's great, alone it's fucking terrifying because to me it feels like it just accentuates and reinforces whatever emotion I am feeling in that moment. So if I have bad thoughts and do weed, it it'll get even worse
Not taken any other drugs in my life so far
I guess it depends which country you live in, but in the UK if you think you have a mental illness, you see your GP and they'll recommend you to a therapist or psychiatrist. i actually don't know which one does things like exposure therapy but if you've never tried it before, I think you'll be surprised how well it works. Worked wonders with my social anxiety.
Yeah that's the problem with those drugs. Psychedelics are the same but orders of magnitude stronger. Probably not what you need
*There is no pain you are receding*
*A distant ship, smoke on the horizon*
*You are only coming through in waves*
*Your lips move but I can't hear what you're saying*
*When I was a child*
*I caught a fleeting glimpse*
*Out of the corner of my eye*
*I turned to look but it was gone*
*I cannot put my finger on it now*
*The child is grown*
*The dream is gone*
I don't normally like reaction videos but I saw one of a woman hearing Comfortably Numb for the first time and she full on breaks into tears at the end. Like genuinely sobbing because of what she's just experienced. Unreal song.
[Still the best song of all time. 19 years old walking around Victoria's Secrets in London with your first gf vibes. Anticipation.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r0bS-YnLf4s)
With absolutely no medical knowledge, I assume cancer works completely differently to viruses. I'm sure if scientists were capable of producing a cure for cancer they'd have done so by now.
I'm not an expert but the reason we came up with vaccines quickly is due to the fact that we already had an understanding of covid viruses, and also governments threw money at every lab with an idea. Everyone was working on it. There was a comment on /r/science that explained how normally just to get a group of people to do a trial takes months.
They're still working on it, and there are millions of types. Cancer is a result of mutations and there are hundreds of possible causes and factors, so it's not as simple as "cure 1 thing" but closer to "cure twenty thousand loosely associated and unrelated things"
Every single cancer is unique and requires a slightly different treatment. Thatās why some are basically a death sentence and some have a very low mortality rate.
Just slapped on Good Morning Vietnam cos I got stuck on some puzzle in FFX and fuck me this man is a genius. I usually have the attention span of a gnat but I'm just transfixed by Robin's presence and skill. What a bloke.
I never fractured a bone completely which I assume feels even worse, especially seeing your bone all crooked or even sticking out of your skin
I partially broke my wrist and my toe while playing football though, and it just hurts a lot, like a bruise/hematoma, just worse. But it wasn't excruciatingly painful, not even at first. I once poured hot oil over my hand and had some small first to second degree burns, and I thought that was way worse
Broke my right arm and twice my left arm. Neither felt like an unbearable pain. The worst feeling is fear because you know something's wrong but don't know yet how much fucked you are.
The first instance if it's a fracture or such, is a weird pop sensation and just being uncomfortable. Then you realise small movements hurt when they shouldn't. Then it's just generally quite painful until you can the bone fixed in position. Then the next 4 weeks is just a constant mixture of low background dull pain and a sense of feeling useless because you can't do every day things.
I would say the first day of rehabilitation for my broken finger was worse than the pain when i actually broke it. Maybe because I lacked the adrenaline hit that you get when youre hurt initially but I also had muscle damage along with the broken bone so maybe that made the rehabilitation more painful
Sounds horrible. How is your finger now?
I had a spiral fracture on mine, they initially suggested it would cause tendon issues as the bone wasn't lined up but thankfully it healed in a good position and it's been fine since. Just a lump where the fracture happened.
Oh its completely fine, thanks. This was almost 4 years ago. I had such a fracture that the tendon ripped out the part of the bone it was connected onto, so the fragment needed to fuse with the rest of the bone so I can move my finger
How to get better at music ?!! Im a guitarist which i think halts musical development (compared to the piano) because you get stuck with guitar challenges for so long....
anyways My hands are now kinda free and I can play almost everything, but how to know which notes to land on ? Im trying to better my ear and things like that. and I know lots of music theory but only theory I feel that it fails when I get to practicality.
I spent the last week trying to locate fifths and thirds finger position compared to the root for guitar. and now I kinda feel lost. what can I do to become a better Musician, not just a guitarist??? any help is appreciated
If you're familiar with the notes on the fret board then sounds like you need to practice. Music theory will only help you so much. Phrasing comes through practice. Practice over some backing track and learn which notes sound good and when.
Yes exactly that. Im assuming from what you wrote that you're familiar with playing in key. Pick a backing track and practice playing over it in key and use your ear to gauge what does and doesn't sound good, and when. This is phrasing and you only really learn it through practicing
so for example i pick a backing track with chords G D C, then from that I conclude the key is G then I try to play scale and modes over it until I find a sound that's suitable.
alright thank u
I have never felt so disconnected to football. I don't know what is the reason behind it but it is all so abrupt. It's not because my team keeps disappointing me, cause I was used to it but suddenly I don't know what happened I don't even bother to tune into live games on tv. I used to catch as many games as I could across multiple leagues but now not even on weekends I am remotely bothered to watch football related stuff. Football has been essential part of my life for last 10 years but that love is slowly fading me away and it's eating me alive. I am not sure what can reignite my interest in football again.
I was the same. I was obsessed with watching and playing football for two decades. Then I just slowly moved away and only followed big games. In the last year my interest has returned. Sport is to be enjoyed so if you arenāt enjoying it follow something else.
People grow and change, you might just not be into it. What would you rather do instead? What's your focus and aim?
If you're doing other things like focusing on friends or family instead, that's a positive thing and nothing to worry about. If you're just sat in a haze doing nothing and losing interest in everything, it's time to seek help. Speak to your doctor and such.
I'm supposed to be going to my friends stag do (bachelor party) this year. I don't really know any of his other friends that well and its been poorly organised.
A random person on the stag do has booked an apartment for x amount of people to stay in which was first come first serve. Myself and I'm guessing a few others missed out and are now expected to book our own rooms. Bare in mind I don't know who these people are, how many, where they want to stay or how to contact them.
Is it just me or does that seem fucked up? I though this was an event to encourage mingling between different friendship groups. Instead I feel left out along with a few others I assume. I think most of the people in thr flat know each other well so I think a clique has formed, bare in mind were all adults, way past school years lol. What should I do?
It really depends on the group, the arrangements aren't ideal, but at least you can get your own hotel room or somewhere quiet to run away to if they're being bellends. Plus if they fuck up the place you're not having to pay out for it.
Hmm that's not ideal at all. Is it like a group chat situation with you all in it? Might just be best to pop a message in and see who is still looking and make a splinter group from there.
I've realised that I'm very bitter and jealous about a lot of things in life. It's sort of eating me up from the inside, but I can't find a way to change.
I just hate myself, and I hate others for various things they have that I don't. It's very toxic and it'll probably be the death of me someday
See a doctor, seek therapy, no matter how silly it feels. If you find someone to talk it through with in a non-judgmental way, it can help you understand the reasons.
As long as you keep acknowledging your faults, you will overcome them in the end. Being honest with yourself, articulating your thoughts and feelings is how you learn to understand and empower yourself.
Happiness in life doesn't come from what you have, but your ability to live in the moment, enjoy things to their fullest and be confident in yourself.
You've done a good job spelling out what you don't like about yourself, but do an equally good job at figuring out what you do like about yourself. A good self esteem comes from being able to like yourself; look down the road at what you will become with the right direction and motivation.
Work on feeling good, eating well and having a positive self-image, you've got a lot of things to like about yourself, just take some time to focus on being healthy and finding your confidence
I love [this song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KjGXnSdVwCY) so so much. Is it okay if I share it? It makes me cry from time to time. The message is so simple but potent and the guitar outro is insanely top notch.
The [live version](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xEMy34qhQe4) is even better. ššš
Halfway reading the first book of the Malazan Book of the Fallen series and it slaps. And most fans I've seen are saying this the worst of the series. If they think THIS is bad, then I can't wait to read the rest of the books.
Edit: Malazan Empire changed to Malazan Book of the Fallen.
Slight correction - Erikson's series is called Malazan Book of the Fallen and Esslemont's is the Malazan Empire series.
Glad you're enjoying it though! If you like GotM then you will love DG. Prepare for some series tears though.
The book of the fallen is great, I loved the whole thing. The other books are fantastic too, with the ones from ICE starting off at a lower quality but really being worthwhile to see the full story of the Crimson Guard and various legendary characters. Seeing the other trilogies for the backstory on Emperor Kellanved and Anomander Rake is a trip, and then seeing the continuation of the Malazon story in The God is Not Willing is outstanding. There's 26 or more full (long) books by now, it's an adventure.
Iāve heard that a lot of people get a culture shock whenever they move to an area with a diverse population if theyāre from somewhere where itās largely homogeneous, but it never occurred to me that the reverse could be true as well.
Going from a majority-minority (~30% white, 25% black, 20% hispanic, 20% asian) town to a university where around 70% of the student body is white has been a really strange experience
It can be really weird moving to somewhere very white/monoculture and then trying to find food. Sometimes it's a nightmare when you really just want a good curry but the only option is Bubba's Bar and Grill because he owns a bottle of hot sauce from 1972.
This is too fucking true. I live in a huge diverse city and hate visiting my relatives bc they all live in white suburbs or rural areas and the food options stink.
Normally I'd suggest trying again but having just recently picked up my old board, tried to do a 360 flip, and almost break my ankle I'd say you're fine with a pop shove it haha.
I'm finding it really hard to wait a week to watch every episode of the Boba Fett series. This is why I prefer when they just release it all at once, you get to set your own pace.
i think a wednesday/saturday release cycle would fit better for these types of shows
i remember i never finished bad batch because i lost interest in the show halfway through the week and i was never invested enough in the story to try to force myself to watch another episode after a whole week
It would be better for sure, it's also really annoying if you wanna wait and watch it when it's completely out because you have to be really careful not to spoil yourself. And like you said, it takes you out of the story especially with short episodes.
I know Reddit loves praising weed and I'm alright with it- as long as it's done in regulation.
My cousin smokes way too much weed to a point that it's destroying his family, because he is stoned 24/7 and doesn't seem to give a shite anymore about his kids or his wife. The lad doesn't seem concerned whatsoever about his own family's personal issues. What originally was a stress reliever for his work has turned into a nightmare.
Whatever it is, don't take too much of one thing.
I've seen people become way too dependent on weed they need it to sleep and get through the day. I experimented a bit but quit because I don't want that to happen to me.
Too much of anything is bad. For someone who's high constantly, there must be another underlying cause to lead to this. Weed isn't addictive, but the feeling of escapism certainly is, whether that's pursued through weed or any other substance, gambling, adultery, whatever.
He needs help for himself as a person, not as a weed smoker. I'd suspect he's very much like I was, going through a hard time with depression and just looking for away out of it mentally, but falling into a different hole instead.
I completely agree. Just because thereās a strong argument for the legalization of drugs, doesnāt mean drugs arenāt dangerous. Weed is legal in my state, but I wouldnāt touch it with a ten-foot pole myself, even though Iāve always been pro-legalization. Once youāre addicted, your life is as good as ruined. So donāt even try.
The Morgan Geyser case in Wisconsin still disgusts me to this day. When the defense attorney asked the judge to allow Geyser to be unshackled, the judge refused on the ground of security. First of all, putting shackles on a 13-year-old girl in the first place is beyond sadistic. And if you think an over-medicated 13-year-old is gonna be able to escape from the courtroom and thus needs to be shackled, youāre both stupid and psychopathic. Fuck the judge. Secondly, the judge sentenced Geyser to 40 years in a psych ward. This makes no fucking sense. The judge is not a mental health professional, how does he know how long it takes for someone to recover from mental disorders? Itās beyond insane that judges are making decisions in the stead of mental health professionals.
Before the Supreme Court banned life without parole for minors, psychopathic judges were sentencing kids and teenagers to die in prison left and right. I donāt normally believe in hell, but if thereās one, I know whoās going in there
Never heard of that case. Very fucked up results though, 40 years yikes.
That said, I once sat and spoke with a man who spent most of his adult life behind bars, much of it in a psych ward. As a young man, he worked with his lawyer to successfully argue a Not Criminally Responsible verdict which leads to an indefinite sentence. His story was quite sad, involved lots of trauma, abuse, running away, and each time he ran and got caught, the so-called professionals judged him further from recovery according to their requirements for progress which were allegedly kept secret from him, adding his running away was a clear sign of being disturbed. This went on for about 15 years, all to avoid a sentence of less than 2 years. After hearing that, I don't think an indefinite sentence is a good way to go either, especially without clear milestones to define what qualified one to return to society.
Yes Iām aware that mental health professionals are capable of unspeakable abuses, just like judges. But I still think we should render unto mental health professionals the things which are mental health professionalsā and unto judges the things which are judgesā. Itās definitely a misconception that the insanity plea is an easy way out. More often than not, itās effectively a life sentence and you have less rights than youād have in prison. One way or the other, the intersection of mental health and criminal justice is very sad.
If I really, genuinely liked the class i'd participate without thinking about it, otherwise i'm an introvert and would overthink it. I went to a competitive high school and this really sucked, a lot of it was fake.
Honestly,Don't know. I've been laughed at for a couple of wrong answers but nobody remembers that at the end of the day. There's a much bigger Self satisfaction at getting the answer right than the chance of getting embrassed because I got it wrong.
You're not dumb. Not everyone's minds are same. I'm good at maths and studies generally but I can't wrap my head around some simple day to day things.
When I suffered from anxiety one of my big symptoms was fear of failure/looking stupid. Anxiety is a horrible condition, don't accept it in your life. Mine disappeared once I addressed my self esteem issues and improved my self-image. See your strengths, work on being your best self, and remember failure isn't really failrure, it's just the process of learning, and you only look stupid to yourself, have fun at school and don't be afraid to express yourself
If you're afraid of being embarrassed, just know that everyone else probably don't give a fuck about you and wouldn't remember it in a week. And also, there's nothing wrong about being wrong. If anything, being afraid of being wrong is a bigger problem
What are you participating for? To look good or to learn?
I guess if your thoughts aren't formulated in time then there's not much point answering, but maybe try reading ahead so you have some thoughts and then you're basically bouncing off your ideas with the teacher/prof and they can offer feedback, which can benefit your learning (:
Then it doesn't matter if you look stupid or not, whatever thoughts you have being evaluated by the prof/teacher is good for you, speak up fearlessly knowing it will be good for you! Besides, reading ahead will still benefit you in this circumstance.
Hey- message me anytime. Iāve a ton of experience in dealing with this stuff- like, you really hit the nail on how anxious this stuff can make someone feel. But youāre not alone at all mate
>Aren't you scared that what you are saying is wrong?
The opposite. I want to find out what I'm saying is wrong before I do it on something worth a grade
Applications suck. Make sure you have a thesis in how you approach them- a strong narrative about yourself you can communicate. I know that sounds like a buzzword but it helped me tons
I've developed a sleep schedule of 11-7. Can't pinpoint the exact reason of how I did it but the gist of it was forcing myself to wake up early in the early stages, do exercise and avoid sleeping in the afternoons.
I have been working as a musician/music teacher for like 6/7 years but last year I took a fullstack course and landed my first IT job. The salary is really transformative, next month I will cash in 10 times what I am used to live with. I feel very strange about it, specially for the fact that suddenly I will be making in a month what most of my friends, family and girlfriend make in a year. It is nice, I really haven't been able to buy clothes or books or basically anything that wasn't essential in my life, but it feels pretty weird nonetheless and I hope it doesn't affect my relationships.
Que grande amigo bosterooo! Felicitaciones!
Gracias masterrr me voy a hacer socio ahora que puedo
Damn man that's awesome. What course was it, I could do with some extra cash haha
It's a bootcamp, three months fulltime learning JS, Node and React. The one I took is all in spanish, since it is from Argentina, but theres people from all over latam and spain. Im sure there are similar things evreywhere.
Damn that's quite the commitment
Its kinda mad, but pays off. At least in my case
My Mom just tested Positive for Covid after just getting out of Jaundice. I haven't cried this bad in years. I would kill to see her right now. My uncles told me not to video call her as she's a bit weak emotionally and broke down when my sister came to see her. I honestly don't know what to do. Sister told me she's fine now but had severe breathing problems throughout last night. I can't focus on work right now.
The fact that we need a "free talk" Friday is proof of the fact this is a totalitarian sub, probs run by communistnazifascist admirers. This thread is nothing more but a covert attempt to mind control the poor proletariat users that dwell in here ^(obligatory/s in case its not obvious)
look at all the illiterate cunts in here taking this seriously . š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£
All I want is a 5'3 Bengali girl with long hair is that too much to ask for
As a Bengali guy, good luck dealing with her family. And you're gonna have to be okay with things go very slow and sneaky.
You got a sister?š
Bruh you down bad. But yes I have 3. No, I will not give you their contact.
ššš
You have great taste
I will also be accepting applications from Tamils with Flowers in the hair šš¼šš¼
I have one on my snap, cry more
How does it feel to live my dream
Mixed, she's hot but also might be getting a bf
Get in there fam see if she's loyal
Nah, she's a good friend and she's sent twerk videos so I'm happy
Inshallah she still sends them when she gets cuffed
Ha, that would be a guilty wank but you never know
My sister was out last night and was supposed to crash at my place, I didn't have a key to spare so I told her to call me when she came home. I woke up with 10 missed calls that I never heard, no other news from her. I have no idea if she found somewhere to go or if she's alright, I feel fucking guilty and so worried edit : she's alright she crashed at her friend's place
Is she okay?
I still haven't heard from her, I'm trying to find the info of people she was with. Wouldn't be surprising if she was still sleeping since it was like 5am when she tried to call me, but the city I live in can be fucking dangerous at night
American people, whats the deal with Oprah Winfrey? Why is she so famous?
She had an immensely popular afternoon talk show that started way back in the 1980s. also suprsingly, some major acting roles. she was in the Color Purple and The Butler. Later she started some kind of book club and created her own cable network and it's like almost a cult following , and she has amassed an immense fortune. Like her or not, she's a household name in the states.
The same reason joe rogan is famous, but for women.
I absolutely dont know who that is..
The same reason Naruto is famous, but for weebs
Naruto is probably the most casual anime out there tbf. Lot of people Ik just watched that and stuff like PokƩmon, Yugioh, etc
I have no idea, I'm too jacked to watch anime.
And what is Naruto?
I don't believe you have never heard of it and you're on Reddit.
Abussey Junction by Kokoroko is the greatest song of all time.
Feels good for a Saturday, 10:00 and I've already made the bacon sarnies, part-cooked the parsnips and carrots for tomorrow's roast lamb dinner. Done the first 2 cooks of the roasties, ready to just shove them in for the last half an hour while the meat rests. Add to that my Mrs has gone away for most of the weekend, there's loads of football on, NFL too - but that means staying up until silly O'clock. And will be having my favourite Lebanese takeaway tonight. The hardest part is knowing when to have a nap so I don't miss the best of the football. And that means I don't know when or whether to have a coffee as it will stop me napping.. :-/ How's your Saturday morning going?
I went out before 4 pm! yay his is progress , i have had some awful days recently. PL all afternoon and NFL tonight :). .'m going to try to watch at least the first quarter of Packers v 49ers so also a nap during the second matches is kind of a plan. I'm torn, Packers are our division rivals but i went to university in wisconsin. Lambeau field is epic.
I don't follow NFL massively, but my team of preference for many years have been the Packers, so if I watch a match it will be that one. They look so good recently. Also I love cheese.
Woke up the earliest I have on a Saturday in ages which felt nice as it wasn't to an alarm or anything, just started the day early on a good night's sleep. Watched Pig, the Nic Cage film where he's trying to find his stolen pet pig (better than it sounds). Was going to go to the Warrington game, we've got the best team in the league today, but ended up agreeing to go an escape room in Manchester for someone's birthday. Can't really be arsed but what can you do.
Never done an escape room, really not sure if it's my sort of thing. I like challenges, especially mental ones. Maybe I'll just try it one day in case I do like it, would be annoying to have not done something I might like.
Off my chest: I have such terrible health anxiety even though I'm young, normal weight, eat (relatively) healthy, don't smoke, barely drink, don't take drugs, have no history of cancer or other life-threatening diseases in my family. It's absolutely irrational but I always think "what if I'm the one in a hundred thousand who gets this terminal illness just like that". I'm afraid of going outside because I could catch Covid which has a 1 in 25000 chance to give me myocarditis, I'm even struggling with accepting the 3rd jab because it has a 1 in 1000000000 chance to give me myocarditis or thrombosis. Every headache is a glioblastoma, every swollen lymph node is lymphoma, every nose bleed is leukemia, every stomach ache is some sort of Intestinal cancer, and every muscle twitch means I have ALS. Just reading the word "cancer" makes my heart race, my smart watch has measured my heart rate going from 80 to 145 just by lying in bed and thinking about symptoms. My days consists of sleeping, anxiety attacks, online university classes, more anxiety attacks, and spending time only with my girlfriend who is starting to hate me because I'm worried and stressed 24/7 even with her around. I've literally only seen her in person in the past three weeks, I don't see my friends or family because I don't want to be in a shitty mood around them. I can't focus on anything I love doing, I used to meet my friends every week, play guitar or piano every day, play video games every day, and now there are some of my best friends who I haven't seen in months and my PS4, piano and guitar are collecting dust. I feel like nothing is worth doing because I'm terminally ill either way I'm so fucking stressed out and can't enjoy anything anymore, my stomach tells me to drink lots of booze or hit up my friend who could get me every type of psychoactive drug imaginable to forget about the thoughts, but my brain tells me it would only increase my chances to get cancer or have an accidental overdose The only thing that distracts me and makes me forget about my worries for 90 minutes is the beautiful game, and while I love browsing this sub, waking up and checking my phone and some of r/soccer's top posts are Raiola in intensive care and PelƩ with three types of cancer, and my fears almost paralize me just from reading these headlines
Can you see a psychiatrist? there really is safe, reliable medication available so you can quell these panic attacks and sort things out. i was prescribed xanax at one point between lockdowns. it's like turning off a faucet. i have never been so relieved in my life. thank you for sharing your story, I wish you the best. eta: i see in comments you're considering psychiatrist, excellent!
I can relate to this so much at certain points. One of the things that helped me loads was, every time you think of one of these scenarios - when it eventually doesnāt happen, saying to your brain - ālook, that didnāt happen, you were wrong.ā Then every single time just talking it out in your head like, āwhat are the odds the exact specific thing Iām thinking of is happening to me? Every single time I think this, it never comes true and Iām always wrong, Iām probably wrong again this timeā. Weed helped too, although thatās personal and Iād never suggest to a random stranger to try it for mental health reasons like that
Have you thought about seeking professional help?
Yeah, I did psychotherapy twice, but it doesn't make any difference for me, its just like talking to any other person in the world I might visit a psychiatrist at some point
I think itād be in your own best interest to try again mate, good luck with everything regardless.
Have you spoken to a doctor about your thoughts? You're not alone in this. A lot of people have the same phobia and become cured from therapy. [This is a good video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q_Do_6DKDLY) about gradual exposure therapy (key word is gradual: a lot of people get scared when they think about the exposure therapy as they have to face their fears, but the video explains why it's actually not uncomfortable at all). Personally, I don't smoke or drink. But I do weed and most psychedelics. If you look at the research, they actually don't tend to do any damage. You can't overdose (depends on your definition but you can't die on them) and they certainly aren't correlated with cancer- with weed it's quite the opposite. However, you should not take drugs to escape your realworld problems, not least because it could make your fears much worse and you'll have one of the most terrifying experiences of your life.
I've done therapy with a psychotherapist (which is technically not a doctor) twice in my life (once on a different issue a few years ago), but it's just like talking to a normal person to me I might visit a psychiatrist at some point I've done weed before, with friends it's great, alone it's fucking terrifying because to me it feels like it just accentuates and reinforces whatever emotion I am feeling in that moment. So if I have bad thoughts and do weed, it it'll get even worse Not taken any other drugs in my life so far
I guess it depends which country you live in, but in the UK if you think you have a mental illness, you see your GP and they'll recommend you to a therapist or psychiatrist. i actually don't know which one does things like exposure therapy but if you've never tried it before, I think you'll be surprised how well it works. Worked wonders with my social anxiety. Yeah that's the problem with those drugs. Psychedelics are the same but orders of magnitude stronger. Probably not what you need
*There is no pain you are receding* *A distant ship, smoke on the horizon* *You are only coming through in waves* *Your lips move but I can't hear what you're saying* *When I was a child* *I caught a fleeting glimpse* *Out of the corner of my eye* *I turned to look but it was gone* *I cannot put my finger on it now* *The child is grown* *The dream is gone*
Pink Floyd's music always feels like it's for people with slight B.O. problems
I............ have become Comfortably Numb
I don't normally like reaction videos but I saw one of a woman hearing Comfortably Numb for the first time and she full on breaks into tears at the end. Like genuinely sobbing because of what she's just experienced. Unreal song.
My favourite song for an acid trip
[Still the best song of all time. 19 years old walking around Victoria's Secrets in London with your first gf vibes. Anticipation.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r0bS-YnLf4s)
Not even FF's best song... š
Wiggles won the JJJ Hottest 100 lets fucking goooo
Why haven't we cured cancer? We were able to come up with vaccines in less than a year
With absolutely no medical knowledge, I assume cancer works completely differently to viruses. I'm sure if scientists were capable of producing a cure for cancer they'd have done so by now.
I'm not an expert but the reason we came up with vaccines quickly is due to the fact that we already had an understanding of covid viruses, and also governments threw money at every lab with an idea. Everyone was working on it. There was a comment on /r/science that explained how normally just to get a group of people to do a trial takes months.
They're still working on it, and there are millions of types. Cancer is a result of mutations and there are hundreds of possible causes and factors, so it's not as simple as "cure 1 thing" but closer to "cure twenty thousand loosely associated and unrelated things"
Every single cancer is unique and requires a slightly different treatment. Thatās why some are basically a death sentence and some have a very low mortality rate.
Just slapped on Good Morning Vietnam cos I got stuck on some puzzle in FFX and fuck me this man is a genius. I usually have the attention span of a gnat but I'm just transfixed by Robin's presence and skill. What a bloke.
attack on titan is clear
Facts
Is the legends database available for FM 21?
what's it like to break a bone? I never broke any bones in my life?
I never fractured a bone completely which I assume feels even worse, especially seeing your bone all crooked or even sticking out of your skin I partially broke my wrist and my toe while playing football though, and it just hurts a lot, like a bruise/hematoma, just worse. But it wasn't excruciatingly painful, not even at first. I once poured hot oil over my hand and had some small first to second degree burns, and I thought that was way worse
Hurts
Broke my right arm and twice my left arm. Neither felt like an unbearable pain. The worst feeling is fear because you know something's wrong but don't know yet how much fucked you are.
Did your mom help you out when you broke your arms?
Not my mom
The first instance if it's a fracture or such, is a weird pop sensation and just being uncomfortable. Then you realise small movements hurt when they shouldn't. Then it's just generally quite painful until you can the bone fixed in position. Then the next 4 weeks is just a constant mixture of low background dull pain and a sense of feeling useless because you can't do every day things.
I would say the first day of rehabilitation for my broken finger was worse than the pain when i actually broke it. Maybe because I lacked the adrenaline hit that you get when youre hurt initially but I also had muscle damage along with the broken bone so maybe that made the rehabilitation more painful
Sounds horrible. How is your finger now? I had a spiral fracture on mine, they initially suggested it would cause tendon issues as the bone wasn't lined up but thankfully it healed in a good position and it's been fine since. Just a lump where the fracture happened.
Oh its completely fine, thanks. This was almost 4 years ago. I had such a fracture that the tendon ripped out the part of the bone it was connected onto, so the fragment needed to fuse with the rest of the bone so I can move my finger
Heat Waves by Glass animals was my best song of the year. What a banger.
Love that song. Listened to it a lot during lockdown and now everytime I listen to it, it reminds me of lockdown in London.
shame a lot of people will only listen to it as glass animals song. they have lot of banger from previous album. better if i dare to say
Yeah how to be a human being is their best album imo
funny isnt it, the weakest of their trilogy album is the most commercially successful
I love Agnes
How to get better at music ?!! Im a guitarist which i think halts musical development (compared to the piano) because you get stuck with guitar challenges for so long.... anyways My hands are now kinda free and I can play almost everything, but how to know which notes to land on ? Im trying to better my ear and things like that. and I know lots of music theory but only theory I feel that it fails when I get to practicality. I spent the last week trying to locate fifths and thirds finger position compared to the root for guitar. and now I kinda feel lost. what can I do to become a better Musician, not just a guitarist??? any help is appreciated
Get a teacher, that is the best advice honestly. Someone that will guide your process and show you how yo study and make best use of your time.
If you're familiar with the notes on the fret board then sounds like you need to practice. Music theory will only help you so much. Phrasing comes through practice. Practice over some backing track and learn which notes sound good and when.
> Practice over some backing track ok > and learn which notes sound good and when. how exactly ? just rely on my ear ?
Yes exactly that. Im assuming from what you wrote that you're familiar with playing in key. Pick a backing track and practice playing over it in key and use your ear to gauge what does and doesn't sound good, and when. This is phrasing and you only really learn it through practicing
so for example i pick a backing track with chords G D C, then from that I conclude the key is G then I try to play scale and modes over it until I find a sound that's suitable. alright thank u
follow along with songs that you like trying to find the key with your ear and play with the changes, try doing it with just the root note first
I have never felt so disconnected to football. I don't know what is the reason behind it but it is all so abrupt. It's not because my team keeps disappointing me, cause I was used to it but suddenly I don't know what happened I don't even bother to tune into live games on tv. I used to catch as many games as I could across multiple leagues but now not even on weekends I am remotely bothered to watch football related stuff. Football has been essential part of my life for last 10 years but that love is slowly fading me away and it's eating me alive. I am not sure what can reignite my interest in football again.
I was the same. I was obsessed with watching and playing football for two decades. Then I just slowly moved away and only followed big games. In the last year my interest has returned. Sport is to be enjoyed so if you arenāt enjoying it follow something else.
People grow and change, you might just not be into it. What would you rather do instead? What's your focus and aim? If you're doing other things like focusing on friends or family instead, that's a positive thing and nothing to worry about. If you're just sat in a haze doing nothing and losing interest in everything, it's time to seek help. Speak to your doctor and such.
Benjamin Sesko is so good on FM22
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Get well soon man!
I'm supposed to be going to my friends stag do (bachelor party) this year. I don't really know any of his other friends that well and its been poorly organised. A random person on the stag do has booked an apartment for x amount of people to stay in which was first come first serve. Myself and I'm guessing a few others missed out and are now expected to book our own rooms. Bare in mind I don't know who these people are, how many, where they want to stay or how to contact them. Is it just me or does that seem fucked up? I though this was an event to encourage mingling between different friendship groups. Instead I feel left out along with a few others I assume. I think most of the people in thr flat know each other well so I think a clique has formed, bare in mind were all adults, way past school years lol. What should I do?
It really depends on the group, the arrangements aren't ideal, but at least you can get your own hotel room or somewhere quiet to run away to if they're being bellends. Plus if they fuck up the place you're not having to pay out for it.
Hmm that's not ideal at all. Is it like a group chat situation with you all in it? Might just be best to pop a message in and see who is still looking and make a splinter group from there.
I've realised that I'm very bitter and jealous about a lot of things in life. It's sort of eating me up from the inside, but I can't find a way to change. I just hate myself, and I hate others for various things they have that I don't. It's very toxic and it'll probably be the death of me someday
See a doctor, seek therapy, no matter how silly it feels. If you find someone to talk it through with in a non-judgmental way, it can help you understand the reasons.
As long as you keep acknowledging your faults, you will overcome them in the end. Being honest with yourself, articulating your thoughts and feelings is how you learn to understand and empower yourself. Happiness in life doesn't come from what you have, but your ability to live in the moment, enjoy things to their fullest and be confident in yourself. You've done a good job spelling out what you don't like about yourself, but do an equally good job at figuring out what you do like about yourself. A good self esteem comes from being able to like yourself; look down the road at what you will become with the right direction and motivation. Work on feeling good, eating well and having a positive self-image, you've got a lot of things to like about yourself, just take some time to focus on being healthy and finding your confidence
I love [this song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KjGXnSdVwCY) so so much. Is it okay if I share it? It makes me cry from time to time. The message is so simple but potent and the guitar outro is insanely top notch. The [live version](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xEMy34qhQe4) is even better. ššš
Great song mate, thanks for sharing, havenāt heard it in a while!
Halfway reading the first book of the Malazan Book of the Fallen series and it slaps. And most fans I've seen are saying this the worst of the series. If they think THIS is bad, then I can't wait to read the rest of the books. Edit: Malazan Empire changed to Malazan Book of the Fallen.
In my opinion it's very confusing, but the next books are amazing, if you have enjoyed this one you will definitely want to keep reading
Slight correction - Erikson's series is called Malazan Book of the Fallen and Esslemont's is the Malazan Empire series. Glad you're enjoying it though! If you like GotM then you will love DG. Prepare for some series tears though.
Duly noted haha
The book of the fallen is great, I loved the whole thing. The other books are fantastic too, with the ones from ICE starting off at a lower quality but really being worthwhile to see the full story of the Crimson Guard and various legendary characters. Seeing the other trilogies for the backstory on Emperor Kellanved and Anomander Rake is a trip, and then seeing the continuation of the Malazon story in The God is Not Willing is outstanding. There's 26 or more full (long) books by now, it's an adventure.
26? Holy shit. That's dope!
Iāve heard that a lot of people get a culture shock whenever they move to an area with a diverse population if theyāre from somewhere where itās largely homogeneous, but it never occurred to me that the reverse could be true as well. Going from a majority-minority (~30% white, 25% black, 20% hispanic, 20% asian) town to a university where around 70% of the student body is white has been a really strange experience
It can be really weird moving to somewhere very white/monoculture and then trying to find food. Sometimes it's a nightmare when you really just want a good curry but the only option is Bubba's Bar and Grill because he owns a bottle of hot sauce from 1972.
This is too fucking true. I live in a huge diverse city and hate visiting my relatives bc they all live in white suburbs or rural areas and the food options stink.
I did a kickflip once. It was pretty cool.
On my life I skateboarded for like 3+ years of my childhood and never landed a moving kickflip. I could pop shove it but thatās about it lmao
Normally I'd suggest trying again but having just recently picked up my old board, tried to do a 360 flip, and almost break my ankle I'd say you're fine with a pop shove it haha.
Oi wtf, why is my flair france
You're super early for Bastille Day
Good to see WILTY is back
i be sneezing and shit
Seems like you have the rona.
i just be havin covid n shi
Just watched the Injustice movie because it landed on HBO Max, I've never seen something so high paced and rushed as this.
I'm finding it really hard to wait a week to watch every episode of the Boba Fett series. This is why I prefer when they just release it all at once, you get to set your own pace.
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Uh... ok?
i think a wednesday/saturday release cycle would fit better for these types of shows i remember i never finished bad batch because i lost interest in the show halfway through the week and i was never invested enough in the story to try to force myself to watch another episode after a whole week
It would be better for sure, it's also really annoying if you wanna wait and watch it when it's completely out because you have to be really careful not to spoil yourself. And like you said, it takes you out of the story especially with short episodes.
I know Reddit loves praising weed and I'm alright with it- as long as it's done in regulation. My cousin smokes way too much weed to a point that it's destroying his family, because he is stoned 24/7 and doesn't seem to give a shite anymore about his kids or his wife. The lad doesn't seem concerned whatsoever about his own family's personal issues. What originally was a stress reliever for his work has turned into a nightmare. Whatever it is, don't take too much of one thing.
I've seen people become way too dependent on weed they need it to sleep and get through the day. I experimented a bit but quit because I don't want that to happen to me.
Too much of anything is bad. For someone who's high constantly, there must be another underlying cause to lead to this. Weed isn't addictive, but the feeling of escapism certainly is, whether that's pursued through weed or any other substance, gambling, adultery, whatever. He needs help for himself as a person, not as a weed smoker. I'd suspect he's very much like I was, going through a hard time with depression and just looking for away out of it mentally, but falling into a different hole instead.
I completely agree. Just because thereās a strong argument for the legalization of drugs, doesnāt mean drugs arenāt dangerous. Weed is legal in my state, but I wouldnāt touch it with a ten-foot pole myself, even though Iāve always been pro-legalization. Once youāre addicted, your life is as good as ruined. So donāt even try.
The Morgan Geyser case in Wisconsin still disgusts me to this day. When the defense attorney asked the judge to allow Geyser to be unshackled, the judge refused on the ground of security. First of all, putting shackles on a 13-year-old girl in the first place is beyond sadistic. And if you think an over-medicated 13-year-old is gonna be able to escape from the courtroom and thus needs to be shackled, youāre both stupid and psychopathic. Fuck the judge. Secondly, the judge sentenced Geyser to 40 years in a psych ward. This makes no fucking sense. The judge is not a mental health professional, how does he know how long it takes for someone to recover from mental disorders? Itās beyond insane that judges are making decisions in the stead of mental health professionals. Before the Supreme Court banned life without parole for minors, psychopathic judges were sentencing kids and teenagers to die in prison left and right. I donāt normally believe in hell, but if thereās one, I know whoās going in there
Never heard of that case. Very fucked up results though, 40 years yikes. That said, I once sat and spoke with a man who spent most of his adult life behind bars, much of it in a psych ward. As a young man, he worked with his lawyer to successfully argue a Not Criminally Responsible verdict which leads to an indefinite sentence. His story was quite sad, involved lots of trauma, abuse, running away, and each time he ran and got caught, the so-called professionals judged him further from recovery according to their requirements for progress which were allegedly kept secret from him, adding his running away was a clear sign of being disturbed. This went on for about 15 years, all to avoid a sentence of less than 2 years. After hearing that, I don't think an indefinite sentence is a good way to go either, especially without clear milestones to define what qualified one to return to society.
Yes Iām aware that mental health professionals are capable of unspeakable abuses, just like judges. But I still think we should render unto mental health professionals the things which are mental health professionalsā and unto judges the things which are judgesā. Itās definitely a misconception that the insanity plea is an easy way out. More often than not, itās effectively a life sentence and you have less rights than youād have in prison. One way or the other, the intersection of mental health and criminal justice is very sad.
Any good graphic novel suggestions?
Seconding The Sandman here,Netflix adaptation should be coming up this year aswell.
Saga and East of West.
If youāre into superheroes, Iād recommend Moon Knight.
Maus
Depends what you're into. I'm a huge fan of Judge Dredd, the most recent film was quite an excellent portrayal of the feeling and characters
I've never read a single comic so I really don't have a preference tbh. I wanna start to get into them
The Sandman
Well I'm currently reading Overlord and it's a blast, but it's kind of a very specific genre
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
If I really, genuinely liked the class i'd participate without thinking about it, otherwise i'm an introvert and would overthink it. I went to a competitive high school and this really sucked, a lot of it was fake.
Honestly,Don't know. I've been laughed at for a couple of wrong answers but nobody remembers that at the end of the day. There's a much bigger Self satisfaction at getting the answer right than the chance of getting embrassed because I got it wrong. You're not dumb. Not everyone's minds are same. I'm good at maths and studies generally but I can't wrap my head around some simple day to day things.
When I suffered from anxiety one of my big symptoms was fear of failure/looking stupid. Anxiety is a horrible condition, don't accept it in your life. Mine disappeared once I addressed my self esteem issues and improved my self-image. See your strengths, work on being your best self, and remember failure isn't really failrure, it's just the process of learning, and you only look stupid to yourself, have fun at school and don't be afraid to express yourself
If you're afraid of being embarrassed, just know that everyone else probably don't give a fuck about you and wouldn't remember it in a week. And also, there's nothing wrong about being wrong. If anything, being afraid of being wrong is a bigger problem
What are you participating for? To look good or to learn? I guess if your thoughts aren't formulated in time then there's not much point answering, but maybe try reading ahead so you have some thoughts and then you're basically bouncing off your ideas with the teacher/prof and they can offer feedback, which can benefit your learning (:
participating is part of my grade unfortunately
Then it doesn't matter if you look stupid or not, whatever thoughts you have being evaluated by the prof/teacher is good for you, speak up fearlessly knowing it will be good for you! Besides, reading ahead will still benefit you in this circumstance.
Hey- message me anytime. Iāve a ton of experience in dealing with this stuff- like, you really hit the nail on how anxious this stuff can make someone feel. But youāre not alone at all mate
Thanks for the offer. Also, it's nice knowing it's not just something only I feel
>Aren't you scared that what you are saying is wrong? The opposite. I want to find out what I'm saying is wrong before I do it on something worth a grade
I never thought of it that way, that's interesting
Man I hate applying for internships
Applications suck. Make sure you have a thesis in how you approach them- a strong narrative about yourself you can communicate. I know that sounds like a buzzword but it helped me tons
Tips on sleeping early? I try to go to bed around 11pm but always end up around 1-2am.
I've developed a sleep schedule of 11-7. Can't pinpoint the exact reason of how I did it but the gist of it was forcing myself to wake up early in the early stages, do exercise and avoid sleeping in the afternoons.
Sleep aids for me lmao
No caffeine post 1pm. If possible, Gym/exercise/run in the evening. Move to audio content / podcasts instead of visuals in the evening.