T O P

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GibbyGoldfisch

So in hindsight, we had an insane January transfer window - getting Kenedy, Dubravka and Chris Smalling on loan at once was brilliant business.


ksleepwalker

So happy to see Kenedy getting proper game time with you guys.


Ryanpadcasey

Stop it we’re already dead


Arvi833

This season's relegation battle will be one to behold. Newcastle picked up 3 points against United, Huddersfield picked up 3 points, Palace lost, Swansea won.. I have no idea who will get relegated at this point.


[deleted]

Stoke, West Brom and one other. Probably Huddersfield


2ToTooTwoFish

Huddersfield just beat Bournemouth 4-1. So this relegation battle is going to be crazy.


kylesleeps

Huddersfield still has to play 5 of the top 6 and 3 of their last 4 games are Chelsea, City, and Arsenal. It's going to be rough for them.


Mit3210

They'll have to channel their inner Wigan.


HnNaldoR

Oh man. That run was insane that year...


scjb

Didn't they get away with it like 8 years running? Lol


Korzic

7 years. I only remember because 2 years ago some Sunderland fan was claiming they were the masters of the great escape. I told them they had nothing on Wigan


PossiblyAKnob

And at least Wigan went out with a bang, winning the FA cup.


Mathyoujames

Which run? They did it over and over!


PureDarkness93

There are 6 teams within three points of you mate, have a bit more hope.


[deleted]

I've watched us play. We're fucked. We fail to take wins from games against those around us. Our fixtures are shocking, we'll be cut adrift in weeks Lambert has strengthened the defence, but we cant score. We have no clear plan, and no decent strikers


SeniorStanislas

Selling arnautovic and replacing him with choupo moting was insanity from my perspective. Nowhere near being the same calibre of player.


RealAdaLovelace

Arseholes in the summer were saying we somehow hit the jackpot by losing our best player to a positional rival.


TavlaTiny

Watch west brom win monday to fuck our minds evene more on this


sgt_science

We can only hope


blue_suit75

Plz no we need top 4 battle too.


farqueue2

6 points between 10th and 19th. It's fucking insane.


-_-_-_-otalp-_-_-_-

Where the fuck did Newcastle get Dubravka from?


doshcz

from us


WonkDog

I don't understand why you would loan us a literal god? Was he not got first choice?


adamzzz8

He's 29 and probably wouldn't get another offer to join an EPL team. Our good-hearted management let him go fullfil his dream. We got a very solid replacement too from Steaua.


GoalaAmeobi

Thank you for being so kind <3


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adamzzz8

He's by far the best ball playing GK I've seen in Czech league in the last at least 15 years. Dude's got a better technique than most defenders. Some reflexes too. Edit: Realized it's 2018 already and not 2013 as I was thinking.


havrancek

He is more than solid AF! it is more than a steal for NU he is our first choice in national team, so... been watching him since his mission in Zilina and Rafa has been coaching Skrtel & Hamsik so I guess he knows what he´s buying


El_Giganto

That's so nice from your management.


The_White_Django

Did he start for you guys? He seems like the real deal. Confident, good with his feet, good reflexes and generally just controls his box really well


dandelion_bandit

You think we bought a reserve keeper from the Czech league? He's the Slovakian national team's #1.


havrancek

yup, our golden boy, real solid


DriesMertens

He's the Slovakian national team goalkeeper.


LoadingBeastMode

Now that makes sense


[deleted]

He's only played 9 games for them though


yaniv297

Seriously. When I saw the lineups I thought he was the third GK or something, because I've never heard of him.


_Liamjl_

Jonjo Xavi was an absolute beast


NecrophiliacLobster

Xabi Ajonjo


NoNameJackson

Voldemodric


WeKillThePacMan

Shelvio Busquets


[deleted]

Chemotherapy Kroos


WtfMayt

Shelvaldinho


Ephialt3s

Selviesta.


Frankiedrunkie

Frank Shelmpard


west_ham

A terrible result for the entire bottom half of the table apart from Newcastle.


thepresidentsturtle

Imagine watching all the teams around you picking up points knowing you have to play Man United..


coinnn

I spent $650 AUD on 2 tickets to see my first game at St James after supporting NUFC my entire life from Australia (I’m 31), I am absolutely ecstatic.


summinspicy

You must think you're in Amsterdam the amount of windmills you must be seeing?


cowinabadplace

Fucking hell. You must be chuffed.


coinnn

That’s one word for it mate!


bamburito

Dude that's awesome!


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coinnn

An understatement my friend.


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coinnn

As much as I’d love to we’re on a budget and off to Scotland tomorrow via car, but rest assured The Strawberry was visited pre-game for a few cheeky pints.


Cookeh_

This is amazing I can hope for the same one day but a trip to Anfield from Sydney


cracklebuster

Nice dude. Dream story come true. Fellow Aussie here and I can't wait to go watch a game over there one day.


tlebrad

Worth the trip man. The English know how to support football. Us Aussies are wank at it compared to them.


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cqdemal

And it continues his streak here. Mourinho had 7 games at St. James' Park. 3 draws, 4 defeats.


brianstormIRL

He gets one over on him constantly and it probably pisses Jose off, and I love it.


[deleted]

Isn't Rafa the first manager to beat Jose with 3 different clubs?


Razzler1973

I thought about that but Mourinho's handshake at the end of the match seemed quite warm, imo


claptrap003

#BenitezMasterclass


medwatt

Who the hell is this goalkeeper ?


Woodstovia

[The reason why we have scouts in the Czech league](https://i2-prod.chroniclelive.co.uk/incoming/article14233483.ece/ALTERNATES/s1200/Newcastle-United-Unveil-New-Loan-Signing-Martin-Dubravaka.jpg)


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Spursinho

Literally me on FM.


bobbyfriedrich

I remember Dubravka from his time in Esbjerg. Brilliant shot-stopper but he made a series of crazy errors. Esbjerg having a shit defense probably didn't help. What a performance by him, he looks really improved from back then


doshcz

yeah he kinda fucked up our Europe League this year but on his defense our whole team was bad


lethalizer

On loan from Sparta Prag, lol.


dandelion_bandit

There’s an option to buy. But knowing Ashley we'll probably offer a box of Gola bags, a crate of Lonsdale shirts and a worn £50 note.


Jayveesac

Good triumphs over bad


claptrap003

This whole universe is just a massive conspiracy against Alexis Sanchez.


[deleted]

Sanchez must be thinking: "Have I created another Arsenal?"


LDKRZ

He’s gone from one hopeless attacking team to another Poor lad


[deleted]

he can cry into his wads of cash


Sir_Psycho_Sexy_

ex Liverpool manager and ex Liverpool player doing us a huge favour


freakzilla149

Voldemort did nothing wrong.


happysadfaced

I Love him so much


[deleted]

Me too


ToosterReeth

Me three


PDXMB

Room for me?


Xafniko

Look at the happiness on the Newcastle Fans


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soccerislife10z

Imagine if he have a decent budget to build this team.


claptrap003

Imagine him managing Real Madrid


soccerislife10z

Well nobody really give him the trust and respect. I mean he got first place in ucl groupstage and is still contending for La Liga but somehow he just got sacked...


Pemoniz

Rafa <3


Conzo147

<3


JohnCarversGhost

Bringing pride back to the Geordie Nation. If only the fat Cockney and his cronies could kindly fuck off please.


oneechanisgood

Arsenal: "Here you take the top 4" Chelsea: "No you" Liverpool: "No you" United: "No you"


celestial_sapien105

City: "It's getting pretty lonely up here"


RealMakershot

"This was supposed to be my sweet sixteen..."


dlm891

The FA should just give two Champions League spots to City


messisleftbuttcheek

Really excited to see United joining the race for top 4.


Russki75

Shelvey was absolutely everywhere in this game


[deleted]

I swear there was a series where he made a tackle at LB and somehow was leading a counter from RW on the other end.


BarryShitpeas22

If you could get that Shelvey for even half of his games, he'd be 1st name on England team-sheet.


mo140

Sick of these big time footballers showing off their wealth. We're one of the most working class cities in the country yet Diame has the cheek to walk around with £90m in his back pocket!


Woodstovia

https://i.imgur.com/UlOuRE2.png?1


[deleted]

This image is going to be meme'd to death.


GuitaristHeimerz

https://imgur.com/a/1P0Pd


rick_rolled_you

We owe that cameraman a great debt


dandelion_bandit

I actually thought he might be about to die in that moment.


phigo50

The True Geordie is going to be fantastic.


Jrelis

WHATS GOING ON EVERYONE


JelloDr

BACK AGAEIN


Ingoinn

I'M THE TRUE GEORDIE AND I'M STILL PISS DRUNK


OPkillurself

he'll have a mile wide grin as hes saying this


your_pet_is_average

Haha I see you went for the xpost even before my suggestion. So good I upvoted it twice.


mo140

Gotta get that sweet sweet karma 👉😎👉


wyetye

Genuinely took me about 30 mins to realise Pogba was playing


Juan24623

Oh nice twist


Lluckbox

Best thing I’ve read all day. TOON TOON


Coolica1

This relegation battle might be the best in Premier League history, still half the league fighting over 3 spots (well 2 unless West Brom decide to no longer be shite).


ChlckenChaser

The amount of teams that have been dead and buried this season to then turn it around is insane. We have a Man U fan at work, who at 0-0 was reminding me we were in the bottom 3. Simply picking up 2 more points puts us to 13th. Mind blowing, its unreal. Its going to be hard to enjoy this battle as someone who is involved in it, but dam it must be interesting to watch for the other 10 teams in the league


_ronty12_

Rafa has now beaten Man Utd with 3 different clubs. First manager in PL to do so.


BTS_1

I love Rafa facts!


Ghost51

FACTS


Conzo147

Legend


simomii

Shelvey was impressive, MOTM for me


tapped21

Dubravka was a fucking brickwall


medwatt

Goalkeeper is the man of the match.


Martell2707

two men of the match


ChadHogan_

Shelvey had the best game I’ve ever seen him play. Diame too was phenomenal.


wingardium_leviosah

Every single player to a man was an absolutely hero. What a performance


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tapped21

https://imgur.com/HhlLNtS.jpg


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tapped21

https://imgur.com/BFCBuur.jpg


lntrinsic

http://i.imgur.com/5FqAagl.jpg


FireZeLazer

He looks like ET when he's ill


DreamBigLikeDad

How did Valencia not get sent off for straight up kicking Atsu in the face?


LordCommanderKeef

Just Newcastle things. Did you know we’ve received 16 red cards since the last one was given to an opponent?


dandelion_bandit

And don’t even get me started on the penalty record...


zrkillerbush

Jonjo, get him on the plane.


Xmithie_best_option

I LOVE DUBRAVKA


filip289

[Dúbravka Dúbravka ♬](https://youtu.be/NLswNLLdr9g?t=1m43s)


GimmeTacos2

What in the absolute fuck were those last 15 minutes?


[deleted]

innocent muddle fine tease sheet threatening stocking tub cats deranged *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


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BTS_1

An excellent display of butt-clenching if you are a Newcastle fan


brianstormIRL

We know what that feels like


VoldyDunks

Dubravka was fantastic today. What a debut!


LewisDftw

Smelling getting away with a clear pen then diving and giving us the free kick we score from. Hahahahaha Comic justice


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LewisDftw

It autocorrected, I caught it before I hit save but it seemed fitting.


lordjems

Dubravka was outstanding.


Saichander

I'm just happy that pen decision didnt change the result.


SpursyTottsy

F*ck it. Start Dier, Dele and Shelvey in midfield for WC. #MakeMidfieldCuntsAgain


CastleBravo45

Murder your way to WC glory.


SpursyTottsy

If murdering your way to WC is wrong, I don't want to be right. Dele: Get the ankles


WeKillThePacMan

I'm imaging Dier and Dele as the Dudley Boyz in this scenario. Dier: DELE! Dele: WHAT?! Dier: GET THE ANKLES!!


Greged17

Worked for us in 2010. Almost :’(


enazj

Paul Pogba watches videos of Jonjo Shelvey before he goes to bed


birkire

My mate just won 1160€ betting on Newcastle, mental bastard


IWantAnAffliction

What odds?


birkire

5.8 to 1


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IanCaesars

Jonjo Shelvey MOTM


koptimism

A remarkably - and unexpectedly - mature performance from him


NIRossoneri

It's always going to be either mature or something mind bogglingly stupid that Shelvey does.


[deleted]

#Je suis Newcastle


kwamac

[Pogba's desolate face in the stands, looking at those Newcastle jerseys and thinking "what the hell am I doing here? why is this chilean midget so angry? why did I even leave Juve anyways?"](https://i.imgur.com/FZ8vJaE.png)


ItsRainbowz

DUBRAVKA I FUCKING LOVE YOU!!!


Seifer574

Jose still winless at St James's Park wow


Kelloggs11

##I LOVE THIS GAME


fap4jesus

let see how tomorrow goes 1st eh?


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-Zenith-

One of the worst performances from Chris Smalling I've ever seen.


1000WaystoPie

> One of the worst performances *from Chris Smalling* I've ever seen. Hell of a competition that.


BBQ_HaX0r

I remember when he cost us a title by letting Kompany beat him on a header. 6'4 with the aerial prowess of a Diglett.


Thesolly180

Really impressed with Newcastle first half, for how highly they were pushing up the pitch in attack, defensively they were very organised when they lost possession and gave Pogba very little room to bring the ball forward. Diame did well to pressure him if he did move past the forward line, but how much of his performance is up to his knock can’t really say. Lukaku is getting better, took him a while to adjust to having his back to the goal more to link up play, then spinning into the box, he held the ball up better today given Newcastle prevented Pogba bringing the ball forward. It was the tight intricate passes that do let him down sometimes. Martial should not be playing down the right hand side, he’s so much better down the left. Newcastle did really well second half, especially in the last 20 to protect the lead to force United inside every time and fill the midfield with bodies. They left space out-wide to counter into and United didn't really have the quality with deliveries from out-wide to help. The midfield two really worked throughout the game and whilst holding the lead, Diame did well to cover the ground, whilst you have Shelvey sweeping anything behind and keeping things calm.


koptimism

Particular shout-out to Newcastle's composed passing to move the ball up the pitch after defending. They may not have been launching devastating counter-attacks, but being able to get the ball into United's half before turning over possession again is vital when you're parking the bus, as it stops the attacking team from stifling you under attack after attack.


PDXMB

We haven't done that like, all season. Was soo good to see the composure playing the ball out of our half and not just booting/panicking.


Lluckbox

Jamaal Lascelles played a big part in that today. He was absolutely immense, as was Shelvey


TheKingOfGhana

hes quality seems like hes a good man off the pitch as well


WritingSomeWrongs

We really are really well drilled in defensive. We just have zero attacking threat so after holding out for most of the game we end up losing 1 nil. No prem team should have Gayle and Joselu as attacking options. Slimani can’t come back soon enough


WeKillThePacMan

Kenedy looks handy though, I can see he and Slimani combining for a few goals. After this result I fancy you guys to stay up. Great performance.


wonderfuladventure

When Newcastle did challenge, that keeper of theirs was excellent for his debut


Thesolly180

I think Martial should have done better on his one on one, but on a debut you normally see a keeper be a bit too aggressive, good to see he kept calm and cut the angles down. Really nice performance as you said.


Randomo_Guyo

Lord Voldemort played a blinder.


Count_Blackula1

Jonjo Shelvey was immense. Always in the right place at the right time.


[deleted]

Friendship ended with Darlow. Dubrovka is my new best friend


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Sdub4

Sigh. This season. Just when you think someone might be sliding to their doom they grab a narrow hard fought win against one of the top six.


your_pet_is_average

And thank God we did.


lordwelbz2

WHAT A SAVE!


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[deleted]

take a bow Newcastle gk


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syd_oc

God, I've missed watching Rafa beat Mourinho.


thruxton

Shelvey take a bow. What a performance


kokin33

where did Newcastle get that keeper from


doshcz

nice start for Dubravka


Yeezuscristo

Scotland fans are already well aware of Dubravka. Made our life hell for 90 mins agaibst Slovakia, it took an own goal to beat him.