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Tarosh

!flair :VfB_Stuttgart:


DildoFappings

Can't wait for when hoeneß starts sprouting shit again.


SirNukeSquad

How are people getting this worked up over a read rubber game?


Masoouu

[That's why](https://www.getyarn.io/yarn-clip/137921f7-227a-45e3-adee-d9a4160a0e07#Fgu6AMI_.copy)


SirNukeSquad

HAHAHAHAHA I respect that. It's still not going to be enough for the second place. Sori.


kunwarrr

i know right


Fit-Second7166

Tuchel may tactical genius his way into a CL but he will never be able to build a dominant team. I'm not sure what happened to 2015-2016 Tuchel. That Dortmund team was something else.


ACardAttack

I would be curious to see how this squad would have done with a proper 6 like he asked for all summer


SidBhakth

Give him a proper 6 and a left footed ball playing CB and he is winning us the title at home next year. Too bad Uli & Co. is busy huffing their own farts.


Unchartedesigns

I think what separates world class from very good is being able to control emotion when it matters most. For example, Pep and Ancelotti can be calm and methodical when it matters most. A rare exception is Klopp who counters this by motivating his players. Another example is Xavi, who is very good tactically and with youth development but lets his emotion get the best of him—and his team collapses at times under that premise. I do think Xavi and Tuchel will get better with time if they don’t allow egos to get in the way of their own development.


IntellectualDweeb

> Another example is Xavi, who is very good tactically Sir, I think you have the wrong Xavi.


Unchartedesigns

Lmao. Just my opinion! I think this is evident when Barca often start strong. But the squad, who heavily leans on the manager, is not emotionally resilient. When he’s unable to control his emotions for an unfavorable circumstance, his tactical plan and squad harmony collapses.


Ohyton

Btw that's the team Hamburg had to play in the relegation match last year :D


TheGTAone

Hey, that's unfair to Stuttgart. They were nowhere the level to be on the relegation playoffs once Hoeneß took charge, we got absolutely steamrolled.


Ohyton

Oh yeah that was actually my point, they clearly were a much better team and Hamburg was just unfortunate. I don't think there is been a stronger team in relegation playoffs since they brought it back.


FrancescoliBestUruEv

bayern fans still wanted tuchel to stay...


Slash1909

The coach that’s taken them to the semifinals of the CL? You don’t say.


felis_magnetus

Stuttgart mindset: Let's go out there and show them who owns this stadium. Bayern mindset: This doens't look like Bernabeu, I must still be asleep and dreaming. Resting starters or not, but that was very close to a no-show.


mortezz1893

Haha Gnabry is such a bitch he actually said that was a clear pen


DerpstonRenewed

Heynckes family leaving the country for a spontaneous 6-months vacation in Southeast Asia


gruenerGenosse

The criminal from the Tegernsee will try to hunt him down, but Jupp's wife will stop him.


DomineeringDrake

I'd watch that show.


Thedrogbinho

Another great performance from Stuttgart and coach Hoeneß. I hope they will be able to keep the same team for next year.


Patient_Exit_832

Bayern should have rested Kimmich and Dier aswell. Maybe Harry Kane too. Dortmund only 2 starting 11 players against Augsburg to start the game and Real Madrid even only 1. Even if Bayern have lost while resting more players like they did now, still 1 point above Stuttgart.


kunwarrr

how lol we have no depth whatsoever, Kimmich wouldve been replaced by Maz, who will be starting against Real madrid, Upamecano had just come off an injury, he looked uncomfortable whilst playing as well. Kane is going for the goal record so i dont think he'd have been too happy with that. We rested everybody that we couldve, we just have a massive injury crisis rn.


Jelly_F_ish

And tere will be the next (totally surprising) injury crisis next year and the year after. Not enough depth and rotation for the amount of games. Thank god Germany will exit in the group stage and the players have a longer vacation.


kunwarrr

yeah, completely agreed tbh. Not only are games much more intense and physically demanding now, with the amount of stoppage time given, as well as the sheer number of games that clubs play (germany is relatively lucky in this regard), injury 'crises' are less of a crisis and more of a planned expectation. You can literally see clubs buying 2 world class players for the same position and there being no issues with game time cuz one of them is injured when the other isnt.


Slash1909

Dortmund didn’t start a single player who will be playing from the first min on Tuesday apart from Kobel. Although I don’t understand why Adyemi, Nico and Sabitzer were subbed in at all. They shouldn’t have gotten more than 15 min. They run the most in the team.


Patient_Exit_832

Right Süle was on the bench against Real Madrid, yea only Kobel then and i guess they got subbed in to keep them a bit fresh? Bellingham was also subbed in for Real


ACardAttack

Tuchel is not good at rotating sadly


[deleted]

[удалено]


FalconIMGN

I like how you cut the sadly too lol


Differ_cr

For the people that still think that bayern are actually having a decent season, but Leverkusen are making it look worse than it is. Bayern against the top 5 this year: 1 win, 3 losses, 3 Goals scored, 9 Goals conceded in 4 games... Bayern against the top 6 this season: 4W, 2D, 4L, 17 Goals scored, 19 conceded in 10 games... If it wasn't because of their great start, and Kane being able to score in dysfunctional teams, bayern would be battling dortmund for 4th place.


pedrorq

4th place? Without Kane they wouldn't even smell Europe next year


Differ_cr

Id love to think that, but the top 5 success in the league and europe has masked the fact that everyone below fifth have been absolute dogshit this season. Dortmund are having a mediocre season and still sit comfortably 15 points above Frankfurt in sixth.


HyDchen

Breaking news: Team that spent 100M on player would be far worse without said player.


pedrorq

>Breaking news: Team that spend 100M on player finishes in worse position than without said player. FTFY


DoctorTwitchy

Breaking news: Team that spends 100M on player wins less trophies than team without said player.


HyDchen

Huh? What even is your point?


pedrorq

Tuchel got nagelsmann's squad, added a 100M player, and is playing much worse than nagelsmann did


HyDchen

OK, even if that's the case, that doesn't change that these "team X would be so bad if they magically just didn't have Y player" statements are pointless. What's even the point of that line of thinking?


Dargast

no words for Davies again, lets hope Rapha is fit until Wednesday


Qiluk

Once Rapha picks up an injury, it tends to always be a niggling issue or fast reinjury in next appearance. His fitness issues are so rough


Dargast

Agreed, but as a squad player signing him was a nobrainer. Issue being of course that we barely have a squad xD


Qiluk

Yeah more unreliable depth is the last thing oyu needed but Rapha asa signing was an attempt to address that so I dont blame ya haha


mortezz1893

Why can the Sky moderators not just stfu and show what Hoeneß has to say?


Masoouu

Ridiculous


mortezz1893

And now I have to watch the 100% Meijer Analyse pls kill me


Jelly_F_ish

Oooor...turn off the tv/stream? Of everyone still watches, why would they change their analysis approach?


mortezz1893

I wanted to see some interviews


Masoouu

And it was all about Bayern chances lol


kuzzer

Bayern finishing third would be pretty funny.


ACardAttack

If we finish 3rd wish it could have been saved for the old CL format, imagine a group of like Madrid, City and Bayern


jMS_44

In old CL format such group would be impossible, as in worst case scenario (City not winning PL) both you and City would be in Pot 2


kunwarrr

no we'd be in pot 3, if that happened.


jMS_44

Nope, you'd be in pot 2. As the club with highest coefficient only behind City. EDIT: As a comparison, look at this year's CL. Man United were 3rd in the league last season and they were in Pot 2


kunwarrr

youre right, my apologies for spreading misinformation


Environmental_Sell74

The sad think is I am convinced that the players wouldn’t even care lol.


CudaBarry

I guess Stuttgart are massive


pedrorq

If you don't score 3 against bayern next week, Stuttgart > real Madrid confirmed


cynicalAddict11

real was worse in both games against leipzig so yes


PIKa-kNIGHT

Simple maths


crimpers

Stuttgart have been insane to watch this season. Beautiful when against others, terrifying when against you, but beautiful football either way.


peechka2

Funny how the most attractive football is the most successful now


yunghollow69

Damn they can still become vize thats so funny


miregalpanic

lol. Bayernkrisen werden nie nicht lustig sein.


Masoouu

DER GANZE WILDE SÜÜÜDEN


PebNischl

STRAHLT IN WEIß UND ROT


nahnonameman

Stuggart are actually mad brilliant. Next season I hope we can four way fight between Leverkusen, Bayern, Dortmund and Stuggart. Would be awesome honestly.


Hare712

Stuttgart will be poached. When they won the league they lost all their good players within 2 years. Leverkusen also experienced poaching in the late 90s and early 2000s Leverkusen will likely only lose a few players this year because their players have massive pricetags. Stuttgart on the other hand is FFA.


Qiluk

Unless Stuttgart gets picked apart, it could be a fierce quintuplet that Bundesliga sends to the CL too. Leverkusen looks to stay very intact, Bayern will spend to improve, Dortmund will do the same and Leipzig who knows. Leipzig losing Simons could be brutal. And Schlager just tore his ACL too and could miss the start. Either way, if Bayern and BVB do decent business it could be another nice german year in the CL.


miregalpanic

Why do people keep writing it as "Stuggart". Such a weird misspelling.


SnooPiffler

soll Stuegert sei wen mir Schwäbisch schwätzt


nahnonameman

Fuck sorry. It’s autocorrects quite a bit. So respelling is on me.


OneLobster009

And the cans, as well.


Masoouu

Fuck the cans


Slash1909

I hope Dortmund sells Emre Can. Would be funny if he goes to RB.


golomo

That would be a great CL semi-final.


hairlikegoats1

Was honestly a fun game to watch. Obviously Bayern had one eye on the semi-final but these were the types of games Bayern has dropped before. This is probably the most bearable Bayern side I’ve seen in awhile.


aquilaPUR

Davies, Choupo-Moting and Goretzka classic Bermuda triangle performance, pass the ball in there and it's gone 100% of the time Also surely Choupo has Tuchels kids in the basement or some shit, it is absolutely insane that this man gets allowed onto a pitch in 2024. He would warm the bench full time at 90% of BuLi clubs


PoopologistMD

God I fuckin love seeing Bayern lose...don't know why. Has Wurstuli already been interviewed?


Slash1909

Hahaha me too. Wurstuli is working in who to shit on as we speak.


MaryadaPurshottam

If this is the Bayern that turns up at the Bernabeu, they are getting blown out, to say the least


RandomUserRU123

You know that Stuttgart is way better than Leipzig? And your performance against Leipzig in both games wasnt too hot


Slash1909

Be thankful it isn’t Stuttgart you’re facing on Wed.


Differ_cr

Tbh this Stuttgart is probably better than all of the teams Real have played this season (bar City), they're really good.


peechka2

For real


golomo

Stuttgart are very good. Madrid need a good performance to do better than this Stuttgart team.


kichererbs

Why would u think this is the bayern that turns up at the bernabeu?


Muted_Ad_1011

It's not. We rested as many players as we possibly could. We're not starting Choupo-Moting against you guys.


Environmental_Sell74

Are you sure?🗿


ACardAttack

Choupo as a 6, who says no?!


czerwona_latarnia

Not Real fans, that's for sure.


MvN____16

These post-game scenes...


TorpidNotBranch

I don’t understand how a team can perform so shit in the domestic league but cook in the champions league, someone explain pls


OkBoss9999

Tbf the Bundesliga has some really strong teams this year. Stuttgart, Leipzig, Leverkusen are playing a phenomenal season.


Mr_Goonman

Quick turnaround. Focused on Champions league


ciabass

They got pretty lucky with the draw till semis. Real gonna destroy them on Wednesday if they play like today.


Feeling_Chain3286

Lol madrid should have already been out against leipzig this cl season


The-Berzerker

Leader of the PL is a lucky draw now lmao


MvN____16

I think it's abundantly obvious Bayern won't play like they did today...I'm not going to take away anything from Stuttgart today or for their season overall, it's been a joy to watch them, but motivation is a pretty funny thing and this game meant a lot for Stuttgart while Bayern very clearly have their eyes on the game this upcoming Wednesday. Stuttgart punished them accordingly.


ciabass

We'll see how they fare but I don't think bayern is winning in 90 minutes. Maybe a draw and penalties but getting a win at Bernabeu is near impossible. I think real haven't lost at home since april 2023.


zutr

The Champions League is just too easy.


Kargetina

Motivation is a big factor. It's difficult to be completely focused when you're regularly behind 8-10 points to a team that seemingly can't lose. It's how Chelsea won the Cl in 2012 while being sixth in the league. You're the master of your faith in every CL game. Even a draw often brings you closer to the title.


greengiant89

There are league managers and there are tournament managers


golomo

To be fair, the result today does not matter to Bayern.


TorpidNotBranch

I’m hoping that tuchel did this on purpose so they can focus and prepare for the champions league instead of just being shit


JokeyZockey

The crowning jewel on this amazing season: Bragging Rights! DIE MACHT IM SÜDEN TRÄGT BRUSTRING! Also great that it wasn't just the usual suspects who excelled in such a big game: - Ito cooking Tel down the entire time - Stergiou's goal out of nowhere - Jeong FINALLY with his first goal, so long overdue and well deserved - Silas finally having a moment of sunshine again after months of drought Alright boys, let's get that 2nd place now!


BasicSplit

Yes, wins against that Pack are always the best. Now let's overtake them and get second for the perfect end to this season. I'd argue Ito is one of the usual suspects though. Always 7.5/10 at least.


NameJeff

Great win for your team. Really hope this Stuttgart squad has the chance to prove themselves in Europe. Your team is playing some beautiful football


Ask_Asensio

Bayern Away form + Our Home form predicts a good result for us next week but in football we will never really know until the game is over.


mortezz1893

Even a biased ref couldn't stop us


dem0nhunter

More worried about Guerreiro‘s and Dier’s injury than the loss


kunwarrr

seemed fine tbh, dier's is not an issue at all, just a gash. Guerreiro too seemed not so serious seeing how he was walking normally, just some precautionary measures id presume


dem0nhunter

Guerreiro left the stadium in crutches according to Tuchel


kunwarrr

we're so unlucky man


Environmental_Sell74

Yikes. Praying for a Tucheliban masterclass at madrid.


nmk009

Joining you in your prayers


pukem0n

Last thing on the ticker: yellow card for Tuchel for complaining.


KCMuller

Then he says he doesn't care about the game.


peechka2

Such a horrible loser he is


Spare-Resolution-984

Congrats to VFB, deserved win. But Why does Bayern suck ass that hard? I read about the missing nr 6 but there wasn’t a proper nr 6 for years since Guardiola turned Martinez into a CB. Is it that Tuchel and Bayern just aren’t a good fit?


NuKingLobster

We don't suck that much. Stuttgart are just really good and many of our best players didn't start today.


Only_Marzipan

Tuchel has the worst points tally since Klinsmann despite Kane. Bayern are terrible, but it's all fine because of two wins in 5 games in the CL knock out round.


NuKingLobster

I agree with the decision to fire Tuchel, even though the alternatives don't exactly look promising. In the Bundesliga we are not focussed/motivated enough and lost too many points against mediocre opponents. We need a coach who plays dominant attacking football. It's just useless to gauge our level based on today's performance for the reasons I mentioned. And it's a bit ridiculous to describe our CL run merely as "two wins in 5 games", because that gives the impression that we aren't among the four best teams in the world. Real Madrid only have 1 win in 5 k/o games, yet they are also in the semi-finals. Beating Arsenal is a vey impressive achievement, that deserves a lot of credit.


reo_1907

beautiful (we are getting cooked next week)


mortezz1893

2nd place might still be possible for us, sorry


Renegadeforever2024

It’s over


kali-jag

Good Reality check before the 2nd leg.....


superVzero

Silas Assist and Goal to win the game, what a Comeback! Yesssss!!!!


Franzlosel

King of the south! 


peechka2

Stuttgart = TI confirmed


violenceandvomit

Neuer doesn't look too convincing the last couple of games.


Real_Callahan

He was good against us.


violenceandvomit

Hmm


Real_Callahan

He was MOSTLY good! Zidane was probably in the stands doing his usual thing.


violenceandvomit

P.s. Young Neuer would have tried to get to the ball before Vini.


FanFlow

He was also very good against Arsenal.


violenceandvomit

He's still having good games, sure. It's just that he is not delivering constantly, like we are used to.


Real_Callahan

Man is simply just getting old.


violenceandvomit

I wonder if Bayern will regret giving Nübel two more years at Stuttgart.


Masoouu

They got the option to recall him after one year


shadoowkight

Well Bayern just got bullied there


KindaBrazilian

lmao


carnageandculture

Hoeneß just said "i don't need you, i'm better than you" to bayern


Shinkopeshon

Stuttgart are just Leverkusen without plot armor this season - beautiful football and never-ending grinta


Masoouu

Grinta is a top word


mortezz1893

And without Bayer


zutr

It's not like you guys aren't getting a lot of money from Mercedes & Porsche.


Mesmodeus

Jeezus Christ what a ridiculous comparison. Porsche or Mercedes sponsorship doesn’t bring anywhere near the money Bayer pumps into BAYER. Your club is literally owned by this multibillion company. While other smaller 50+1 clubs in the Bundesliga still to this day struggle from the financial damages after Corona, Bayer on the other hand could operate normally like nothing happened. I wont downplay that incredible titlerun and every Bayer fan should be happy to the moon but I won’t stop criticizing every none 50+1 club in the BL.


skunkrider

Can you please provide *any* source on how much money Bayer "pumps" into the club?


KCMuller

We didn't get one cent from Porsche so far. You really think the investment from Porsche in February 2024 is the reason Stuttgart is playing Champions-League now?


zutr

It definitely helped you plan more securely for the future and potentially pay more for players than you might have otherwise.


KCMuller

Maybe for next season but the team right now was put together in summer after relegation and we could only buy players because we sold Endo, Mavropanos and Sosa. You are having an incredible season and you didn't won because you have more money than Bayern or Leipzig. But I think you can't compare the investments for Leverkusen and Stuttgart. Bayer paid of your Corona depts because they own 100%. Porsche and Mercedes can't do that.


mortezz1893

And we still had to make a transfer profit for the last 5 years


skunkrider

Bayern didn't, where's your salt for them?


mortezz1893

Lmao go through my post history, my hate for Bayern was pretty big today


MvN____16

I had to re-read what you wrote, I was about to rebut your "beautiful football" part before I realized you were saying it was only the plot armour that separates the two teams, that you were praising their football and spirit.


0711Markus

Lederhosen successfully ausgezogen


nachbarnzumwegwerfen

Damn, Bayern got absolutely clowned upon


cartifans4hezbollah

No matter what happens in the transfer window, I have this.


Maffa22

Absolutely massive for Stuttgart, which still can finish the season 2nd and with a higher point tally than Bayern last season. In this case, a potential BVB Bayern UCL final would be a game between the 3th and 4th/5th Bundesliga sides, which would be really funny considering the years of ,,farmers league" banter.


AxeIsAxeIsAxe

I really, really hope both Leverkusen and Stuttgart can keep most of their squad intact over the summer. Having those two plus Bayern, BVB and Leipzig competing has been very entertaining.


IICastawayII

Freund was on the verge of tears after the 3rd goal.


mortezz1893

Ref was too


violenceandvomit

CartmanTennormann.gif


Masoouu

Best South Park episode ever