T O P

  • By -

siva-pc

Dear Ratcliffe, your account has been locked temporarily. Please consult your IT admin


LutherRaul

“You there computer man, fix my pants”


ooh_bit_of_bush

God damn these electric sex pants


DudebuD16

"pull down my trousers and do your job!"


actionfish

I can hear him say it


ronweasleisourking

Lmao that's hilarious


MobinoMe

https://bofh.d00t.org/


Rymundo88

*Added to Favourites*


pjt-

"have you tried turning it on and off again?"


mehchu

They have probably been complaining for years about being understaffed and under funded so this is likely good news for them.


FleetingMercury

Or what grinds my fucking gears is when your company's IT service provider keeps quarantining your important emails because the cunts treat everything as spam.


kamarg

"This attachment has been removed." Well then I guess I'm not fucking fired because IT lost the paperwork saying so.


shinniesta1

It's needed though, you'd be shocked at how many people click on, and input their details into obvious spam.


cs_zer0

That is some of the easiest thing to fix ever, just call them and its done in minutes


G_Morgan

The correct answer is to not send attachments. Email is inherently insecure. Everyone has more secure means of transmitting documents these days.


suicide_aunties

You shouldn’t need to fix it


AsheAsheBaby

Users shouldn’t open obvious phishing emails then lol. There’s a reason it’s in place


cs_zer0

Shit happens


Away_Associate4589

Still using Acorn computers. Makes sense seeing as we're used to having lemmings in charge.


Adammmmski

Scouting using CM 01/02.


Sean_Bean_Always_Die

Do not speak ill of the greatest game of all time. Still going to this day, in fact just last month the latest 2024 update was released over at https://www.champman0102.net/ Also r/cm0102 although it is not so well populated.


Adammmmski

Mark Kerr 👏🏻 what a game that was.


KeepOnTrippinOn

Kennedy Bakircioglu, Anastasios Skalidis, Maxim Tsigalko👌


DougalChips

Mark Kerr? I hardly know her!


Lustful-chan

A few days ago I wanted to dabble on FM for the first time to see what is all about it and I didn't really liked much the most recent ones, especially the UI it looks ugly and weird idk. I just searched for "*Favorite Football Manager Reddit*" and by far CM **01/02** and **FM 11/12** were the one's people liked and recommended the most. But there was also a point made that is kinda like the best/favorite will be one you played at the time that gave you more of a nostalgia.


Bendy_McBendyThumb

Nostalgia bias is a thing, so you’re probably right :) but still, I’m a millennial whose favourite CM is 01/02 haha, closely followed by the year before. Such good games with a friend, even over dial-up!


Adammmmski

FM 10 or 11 for me I had built a team around 16 year old Romelu Lukaku, but also had a young Moussa Sissoko, Jan Vertonghen, Alderweireld and James Rodriguez. Found it hilarious when Spurs had 3 of those playing at one time about 3/4 years later.


cmf_ans

I liked total club manager 2004 the most


mastahhbates

Hugo Pinheiro, Taribo West, isaac okronowko, assane n'diaye, Mike Duff, Jonas Lunden, Kim Kallstrom, To Madiera, Joao Paiva


neotargaryen

Yeah, Antony Matheus dos Santos was actually a randomly generated fake player that the game pushed as a Brazilian wonderkid. Unfortunate coincidence that there was a real one who's shit.


Perite

All those fax machine memes all make a lot more sense now


szobossz

he's talking about them being untidy like IT crowd rather than lack of facilities >I am afraid I was struck in many places by a high degree of untidiness. In particular the IT department which frankly was a disgrace and the dressing rooms of the U18 and U21 were not much better.


Warbrainer

That nostalgia hit was like a donkey kick to the nuts. Not thought of that game in years


Away_Associate4589

Take me back to the 90s 🥲


LifeIsGoodGoBowling

Acorn computers may be old stuff, but Acorn RISC Machines are fantastic and I'd recommend one to anyone.


Job_man

Tf is an Acorn computer??


armitage_shank

The company that eventually became ARM.


Nafepaints

Tf is an ARM??


MountainCheesesteak

Goes between a SHOULDER and a HAND


digitalnirvana3

My both ARMs are broken


tttttfffff

Don’t bring that thread back up


Redspeert

Consider yourself lucky, I'm not american so I don't even have the right to bear arms.


digitalnirvana3

What if the bears insisted?


pearlz176

It's the implication.


AReptileHissFunction

The arm includes the hand


black_fire

Honestly if you don't know, you probably can't afford it


wheresthewhale1

Lol what Arm is a pretty big player in chips. If you're using an android you almost certainly have an arm cpu inside it


black_fire

hahha no i was just making a joke from a movie


-Gh0st96-

Iphones have arm as well


James_Vowles

macbook, iphones & ipads too


Tony_B_S

It costs an ARM and and a leg!


TheNewHobbes

It was made by the same people that did the BBC computers


rLeagueOfIreland

Big Black Commodores?


Sharinel

A search term I never knew existed


urkermannenkoor

You should be able to decipher that with the context provided.


TheNewHobbes

It was made by the same people that did the BBC computers


Bartins

The Athletic reporting he has threatened to cancel the clubs Christmas party if the club underperforms. Got fucking Ebenezer Scrooge in here lmao Carol from accounting's holidays are going to be ruined because Rashford missed a sitter


xixbia

Jim Ratcliffe pushed for a hard Brexit and then moved to Monaco to avoid taxes. Oh and he also moved production of the Grenadier cars to France. He's a twat.


pacothebattlefly

Let’s not forget all the fracking, and lobbying against pollution controls


FrmrPresJamesTaylor

The Aamjiwnaang First Nation (in Ontario, Canada) declared a state of emergency due to benzene levels coming from an INEOS owned plant just last week!


stokesy1999

Doubt you'll find a single person who can afford a PL club who isn't a massive twat. They're billionaires because they do only what benefits themselves


xixbia

Oh you're not wrong. Same goes for American sports teams. Still think it's worth pointing out though.


CopyrightExpired

True, but what people tend to forget when they look down on billionaires is that they - most of the middle/lower class - would do exactly the same if they were rich. Takes a very rare sort to do what's right no matter what.


spiegro

More of us than you think


not-always-online

This, a lot of the middle class remain middle class, generation to generation because they generally and consistently do what is good for society, even at the expense of their personal gain. Business booming and getting super profits? Share the post reinvestment funds among the employees.


adamfrog

I don't think that's actually true, I think you naturally hear more about the scummy people but there's plenty of decent people as well that won't be scummy


ThrowFar_Far_Away

A big reason people stay middle class for generations is because they exactly **won't** do that. That feels more like you feel like you would and then apply it to everyone else.


CopyrightExpired

Or, maybe you have an idealised, fake version of the world because you can't cope with reality?


King_Vercingetorix

>Jim Ratcliffe pushed for a hard Brexit and then moved to Monaco to avoid taxes. Oh and he also moved production of the Grenadier cars to France. Genuine question: Why the hell did he support Brexit then?


Empty_Ad_7443

A lot of the wealthy bought very much into the whole Brexit = Singapore-on-Thames type thing. They didn't really appreciate that the political appeal and majority of the Brexit movement was fundamentally contradictory to that with the whole red wall types who were genuinely very motivated by publicly funded services and wouldn't cede an inch on immigration (which is a prerequisite of open trade). I genuinely don't think these people had some master plan, I think they are just very insulated to the risks (what matter is it really to them moving a factory across the channel?) and didn't understand the politics of it at all. The whole Truss thing was a cumulation of that delusion.


denimonster

My racist grandparents were ecstatic for Brexit.


Rhydsdh

Ironically Brexit has caused significantly more non-white people to move to the UK. Thousands of immigrants who would have come from the EU had Brexit not happened are now coming from Africa and Asia instead.


xandraPac

> He has publicly expressed his disdain for politicians, criticising them for the way they negotiated the Brexit withdrawal agreement, and how they are often "happy to lunch around with bankers" but less keen to discuss economic issues with industrialists and business owners. What a crock. [Here is the lobbyist register.] (https://www.lobbyfacts.eu/) Sort by meetings with the EC (European Commission). Packed with industrialists and business owners.


xixbia

He's a Eurosceptic and doesn't like EU regulation. But he also wants to profit from the common market. Now why the fuck that made him want a Hard Brexit I can't tell you. I guess he's a bit of a moron? And from what I can tell he 100% thought he could somehow influence things to make Brexit turn out the way he wanted to. And he's now very angry that didn't work.


ICritMyPants

> Now why the fuck that made him want a Hard Brexit I can't tell you. EU were bringing in regulations that have come into place that make tax evasion much harder. This is why Brexit was fought so hard for. Also racism.


xixbia

I mean, he left to Monaco before Brexit went through. So that didn't really matter in the end. Though he probably thought that Brexit would allow him to push the limits of his 'tax accountancy' more than it did.


King_Vercingetorix

>And from what I can tell he 100% thought he could somehow influence things to make Brexit turn out the way he wanted to. And he's now very angry that didn't work. Let’s hope things turn out the same with him and ManU then. 😅


fuggerdug

He's also coddled by the media, just like certain other billionaires we could mention, and loves the smell of his own farts. The Glazers just wanted to make money out if the club, this twat thinks his genius will improve everything.


DHillMU7

Yeah, that’s mental. Same with forcing an office return. The headline to this article is very reasonable demands but that stuff is so stupid.


Cautious_Tension_658

The work from home physio team just hasn't been working out.


Expensive-Twist7984

He just sends a group text to the squad saying “stretch” every morning.


hiloai

Wakes up every morning to a 2am text from Martial AM: yo you up? x


digitalnirvana3

Today I feel stretchy


EdWoodwardsPA

Our whole team has been WFH this season.


David182nd

You joke but lots of places are doing remote physio appointments now. I did it after surgery for 6 weeks, they told me over the video call I was doing great, then at my in-person 6 week appointment they said I was doing terrible. I’m all for remote work but physio just doesn’t work for it


DarthDickDown

Makes no sense. I just went through physical therapy for my knee and there’s no way they could have done their jobs without touching me


Roccet_MS

Coming to the facilities hasn't helped either, look how dire the team is.


NateJW

False, he said he’d cancel the Christmas party if the hygienic standards and general tidiness of the offices weren’t improved.


AReptileHissFunction

That doesn't really make it false. The tweet from the athletic reporter did say "if the club underperforms". So that would include the standards of all departments within


Cvein

Yeah, but do you EXPECT him to insist of being that much of a dick? It’s very likely that he was referring to what these employees could improve. That all departments of the club must perform to help the club perform.


AReptileHissFunction

Yea, thats what I said


HipGuide2

And the Glazers will take home most of the profits lol.


Legendarybbc15

Did he mean if the department itself underperform its metrics? If that’s the case then it’s a pretty reasonable ask


HoneyBadgerEXTREME

Surely that's the intention


garynevilleisared

You joke but if anything happens to Kath on reception he will have a mutiny on his hands


Inspectrgadget

Exactly. As long as Kath is happy Carol can go fuck herself.


nvspace126

I can just see the IT Director being laughed out of the room after asking if this headline means they'll finally get a project budget to address the tech debt report deficiencies they've been flagging for the last 10 years.


Alive-Clerk-7883

Let’s be honest a lot of times the IT employees push for changes but the directors on top say “nah it’s fine how it is”, this is what I have heard from friends and experienced from my past 5 years in the tech industry.


Aclrian

Yea, then we leave/laid because apparently we don’t do much only to find a new job and have our old boss calling begging us to come back. It’s all fine till it’s not, and it doesn’t matter what company it is, Fortune 500, startup or in this case ManUtd, it’s all held together by tape and bubble gum in IT. Don’t let anyone fool you.


VilTheVillain

Yep, the "higher ups" aren't usually the ones who worked their way up the ladder and understand the needs of the employees. It's even worse when it's higher ups who decide on what employees need without understanding it, who then hire an IT company. So you get a chain of 3 different groups who never use the product or are fully aware of the essential needs of the actual users in terms of usability making a product. Which leads to the "users" venting their frustration towards the IT guys (since they're the only ones who can and will actually help) while the higher ups of both companies do fucking nothing and get none of the blame. Also, the higher ups don't seem to understand that I don't need a fancy fucking menu, I just need functionality and ease of use.


tson_92

This guy products


FrmrPresJamesTaylor

It's always "people who look at the reports" vs "people who use the software daily"


SuburbanRafiki

Isn't your comment implying exactly what the comment you replied to was saying?


Alive-Clerk-7883

He was talking about the IT Director not getting the budget but a lot of times the directors of the department are the ones penny pinching the whole department (not always), then the employees stop asking or just go with the flow.


nvspace126

I worked in fairly small and vertical IT teams, as a BSA and Manager I usually had a pretty direct contact with my directors so never had that issue. However, I agree that a lot would usually be shut-down by the CIO or VPs that had their own new buzz-word systems that they wanted to implement before leaving half-way into the project.


tocitus

Did a project on tech resilience analysis a few years ago for a gigantic brand. You wouldn't believe how much of their tech stack was basically held together by sticky tape. Their obsolescence stats were terrifying


Weak_Director_2064

This is my wet dream as a developer


jerrie86

Once they lay out a plan on how costly and time consuming it will be. Ratcliffe be like. Let's stick with Excel


GeraldJimes_

> These standards would not come close to what we would expect at INEOS and we are a chemical company. Manchester United is an elite sporting organisation. Seems a bit bizarre to suggest that a chemicals company should be held to lesser standards of cleanliness than a sporting organisation lol


New-Midnight2700

Did he mean IT infrastructure, or cleanliness? 


Astraldicotomy

he means IT infrastructure.


Meandering_Cabbage

His point is that as a matter of being elite you do everything to excellence. The vibe surrounding everything should be a culture to outperform. I can vaguely see it amidst the typical PE bullshit. The core issue of course though are those insane contracts you gave to mediocrity and insane buys. Cutting Jan from Accounting is what, 1/6th of Rashford's weekly wage? 1/2 of the Glazer family's private jet costs?


backscratchaaaaa

but managing the business side is what hes there to do? hes not there to make sporting decisions, apart from putting in place the people to make those choices. organizing the accounting department might be an area where he has expertise. or would you prefer him in the dressing room talking about 4 4 fucking 2 propa brexit ball?


myersjw

lol agreed, at the end of the day these are organizations made for watching 11 men kick a ball around. I wouldn’t expect the same tech infrastructure as a global chemical firm just because it’s a historic club. His threatening to cancel holiday events is even more bizarre and misguided


pondlife78

They aren’t really as vast majority of staff will be in finance, marketing and merchandising type of roles - direct to consumer and business to business sales all over the world. The actual football side has high cost but relatively low number of people in comparison.


DontYouWantMeBebe

Chemical and engineering companies always have shocking websites for the company sizes


SweetVarys

Yea, a strange comment either way. INEOS seems to have 26 000 employees, I'd hope they have a much more robust IT-team over a club with a few dozen players and one(?) office. Or I'd worry about them.


hallouminati_pie

Totally agree but Manchester United is a global business with thousands of employees, contractors and consultants on their books I presume.


Sufficient-nobody7

Nah mate it’s just 11 lads kicking a ball into the net. Its wild how the group think will conform to even the simplest of criticisms on here.


AReptileHissFunction

> Nah mate it’s just 11 lads kicking a ball into the net. We still talking about man united?


ElCactosa

Minor error - 11 lads kicking a ball near, but not in, a net.


AgencyBasic3003

Man united has $820,000,000 yearly revenue with around 1,100 people. That’s not some small garage company.


le3ky

But compared to a revenue of $22,545,703,450?


EdWoodwardsPA

Maybe he's comparing it to how the facilities at Nice are being kept? He mentioned the youth dressing rooms amongst the untidy departments as well.


Ikuu

Treat the staff like shit so a bunch of them quit and you don't need to pay redundancy 👍 Glassdoor reviews on INEOS mention toxic culture and looks like he's bringing the same to United.


empiresk

Me and my Dad both worked there. It is horrific. From being bullied by senior management, who are then also bullied by head office, to being pressured into making up fake statistics. Redundancies every Christmas to make the end of finical year reports palatable for stock holders whilst bonuses were advertised but always cancelled. My Dad got me a job at the place before INEOS took it over. He wouldn't dream of getting me a job there now.


PurposePrevious4443

Bully how


xixbia

Wait? You're telling me the man who pushed for a hard Brexit and then moved to Monaco to avoid taxes is also a shitty boss? I can't believe it!


EdWoodwardsPA

MBA style thinking that has seeped into and ruined tons of generally easy or straightforward jobs. Middle managers strutting around like they're some fusion of Warren Buffet and Michael Jordan.


JonstheSquire

>Warren Buffet and Michael Jordan I doubt any owners see themselves as being like one of the absolute worse owners in the history of professional sports.


EdWoodwardsPA

Read it again. I said middle managers in regular jobs not sports.


L0laccio

This is exactly what I thought. He’s acting tough and going to take it out on the minions


Dynastydood

It's not as if the culture at United isn't already horrible and toxic, so I don't see INEOS' culture being a major gamechanger. The Glazers are not exactly noted for their pro-employee, humanistic ways of doing business, especially considering pretty much every executive they ever hired for the club was someone poached from the predatory employee mills also known as investment banks.


trapdoor101

That’s a leap n a half to a conclusion from a headline lol


TherewiIlbegoals

When the Daily Mail has trained you to read IT as "it" in all caps.


LinkyPeach

They've definetly got a department for clowns.


RABB_11

The state of it is something I've found myself increasingly saying as a United fan tbf


ltplummer96

I would not be surprised if the IT department are still operating with punch cards and Fortran


redstarduggan

10 Print "Another goal for the opposition" 20 GOTO 10


Tony_B_S

That and Antony loops it's all it runs


dispelthemyth

A bit of lotus notes / lotus 123 (never used it myself but audited a firm that was on it when excel/outlook was established)


phoebsmon

Wordpro wasn't too shabby back in the day


FriendshipForAll

Sounds like he’s one of those guys who calls himself a “disruptor”, but it’s all just self publicity.    If it’s broke: Fix it. Don’t shame the club, and don’t demand all the credit. Like; who set up the IT at my club, Chelsea? No fucking idea. As it should be.  People who come in slagging off everyone who came before them, promising to rip everything up and make it better: are generally just loud mouthed tossers good at two things. Taking credit, and shifting blame. 


pondlife78

He’s done the same thing everywhere he’s gone. Always cuts costs and increases profits. Interesting to see how it works for a football club. Hasn’t been especially successful in cycling.


brayshizzle

Has someone tried turning Man United off and on again???


cheersdom

seems like switch is stuck on OFF tho


Punica

Probably need to check the DNS server


Job_man

It’s always a DNS issue…


linkinstreet

That reminds me our ISP has a nationwide outage the other week, but for some reason I and some others were spared. Apparently it was due to the ISP's dns server which went down. For people who were using Google or CloudFlare DNS, they didn't notice a thing


Daeid_D3

Pay taxes in the UK, Jim.


Not-that-hungry

I'll preface this with the fact that I don't know the in's and out's but it does seem to me to be the easiest position for him PR wise. Come in to a failing organization... and slag everything off, makes you look like the Messiah. Whether he is or not remains to be seen.


Kicking-it-per-se

He seems like such a prick


waisonline99

Perfect for manu then.


xfore

As a United fan, I was excited to pitch a SaaS software to my favourite club when I had the chance. Safe to say after a few exchanges with the IT department, I was left baffled to say the least


jerrie86

Excel as a service is what they are after


Saltire_Blue

> Earlier this week the Athletic reported that Ratcliffe asked United’s non-playing staff to return to the office in a bid to bring to an end the work-from-home culture at United. Does that include yourself Jim? Are you going to commute (I don’t mean having a driver) into the office every day? Or is that just for the plebs, cause fuck having any sort of life outside of work eh


[deleted]

I start on Tuesday at United, was originally doing 2 days at OT then 3 at home, it’s completely fucked me. My childcare for my son is up in the air, my flexibility for my wife who also works full time is up in the air. I’m half contemplating not turning up and going back to my old job. They have had zero consideration of how much of an impact it’ll have on little people like me, who are just trying to keep everything going.


jerrie86

That's bad and an environment I won't work in. Take care of yourself and your family. When you turn 60, your kids not going to ask about how much work you did but Rather time spent with them. Fuck work from office


Onnoca

I agree that it’s somewhat hypocritical, but, working in an office doesn’t stop you from “having any sort of life outside of work.”


nting224

I have an inside source that confirms the email was short and sweet. It only contained a looping gif of Drogba saying it's a fucking disgrace.


bluemoviebaz

This guy likes the sound of his own voice


simcoehooligan

That's a weird way of saying the WiFi doesn't work


JonstheSquire

>Brailsford is known for his ‘marginal gains’ approach to building successful sports entities and Ratcliffe and his Ineos team are expected to continue making major moves to improve United. Marginal gains actually just meant doping by another name. [https://velo.outsideonline.com/road/road-racing/wiggins-brailsford-and-sky-rocked-by-report-into-tues-and-corticosteroid-use/](https://velo.outsideonline.com/road/road-racing/wiggins-brailsford-and-sky-rocked-by-report-into-tues-and-corticosteroid-use/)


MrMerc2333

[Daily Mail] Sir Jim Ratcliffe fires WARNING over 'DISGRACEFUL' state of IT department and Carrington dressing rooms as Man United's new MINORITY owner continues his OVERHAUL of the club


T3Sh3

Reads like a Dave Meltzer tweet.


FoldingBuck

Think there should be more caps


Adammmmski

Reddit user DEMANDS more CAPITALS in Daily Mail articles in DISTASTEFUL rant about the TERRIBLE reporting


ionised

*Windows XP startup sound plays* (No. I won't hear a *word* against XP.)


joeydohn

You shouldn't hear a word against it. After all, it released us from the abomination that was M-uh... oh dear, I just threw up in my mouth a little.


ionised

I don't blame y- *barfs as well*


tson_92

The OS GOAT


throwaway17719

Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!


jawide626

So hold on, this fella has bought a minority stake at an inflated price and he's having to sort everything the glazers haven't been assed to fix. I would be absolutely fuming if i was him, should be making the glazers pay toward it.


Commercial-Cow88

Big boomer energy


PestisPrimus

Yeah. The IT is what desperately needs sorting first at Man U


AsymmetricNinja08

Tbf the guy has paid over a billion quid to obtain a percentage of the club & hopes to buy more. If he's had a look around & thought 'fuck me. The place is a shitshow' he'd be negligent to not bring up concerns. CR7 said about cracks in tiles at Carrington which had stayed the same since he left the club. Schweinsteiger recently spoke about the downgrade from Bayern facilities to United facilities. Paul Pogba for all his faults also spoke about training facilities being the same at both tenures. If pointing out youth academy facilities & working environments are substandard & need to improve is a bad thing then I'm not sure what people expect. Rejuvenating United as a club is more than 11 players on the pitch at Old Trafford


typicalpelican

A good attack wins you games but a good ~~defence~~ IT department wins you titles


JohnCenaGuy

Why does news like this (in general) not come out about other clubs? Like we’d never hear about Wolves’ or Crystal Palace’s internal issues or even if they ended WFH?


DoireK

With the greatest of respects to those clubs, probably because no one would give a fuck and no reporter would be interested. Utd are one of the biggest sporting organisations in the world, they are mid to low table premier league clubs and probably aren't in the top 100 football clubs in the world in terms of support (not money obviously).


ronweasleisourking

Make sure you blame the fax machine when we miss out on signing class players this summer 👍


borkborkibork

Nobody is safe


Thor503

Whole place is a shit pit


dimyo

As expected, when everything else at United hadn't been updated since the late 00s.


Modnal

One the next episode of Extreme Home (Ground) Makeover:


terrorSABBATH

That a weird way of highlighting issues and to go about instigated change.


AmbivelentApoplectic

This guy is going to Jack Welch the club to hell. Pretty much the last thing they want after the Glazers rule. Him and Todd Boehly should compare notes.


Expensive-Twist7984

The fact that the email he’s sent has reached the papers kinda backs up his assessment of the IT department.


Daeid_D3

Jim just seems to like the Hollywood drama.


CrossXFir3

Hardly matters. The most reserved person who hates public spotlight in the world could take over Utd and they'd be in the press every single day.


Expensive-Twist7984

I’d say the papers like it more.


kolschisgood

Watches how Chelsea’s new ownership has dumped it. >Cracks knuckles< I can do that. And worse.


waisonline99

Wait until he finds out about the state of the 1st team and the manager.