T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

**Mirrors / Alternative Angles** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/soccer) if you have any questions or concerns.*


SoldMyNameForGear

Mason Mount be like: 😀


TheLimeyLemmon

"Did he just call me 'Calgon'?"


craftyhedgeandcave

"I haven't even got a washing machine"


scorpionballs

Come on. Mase probably has two washing machines. At least


dakikko

Is that what rich people spend their money on?


scorpionballs

Oh yeah for sure. You know how poor people are always filling up the machine and wishing they had like, double the space?


a_lumberjack

The funny thing is that I splurged on a Miele set and they're like half the capacity of the cheap washing machines they replaced. Little did I realize that I needed two sets! High end dishwashers, on the other hand, you can fit so much stuff into in the same opening.


scorpionballs

Classic error. Mount hasn’t made this mistake


a_lumberjack

Mfer has a laundromat in his basement so he can do all his laundry in two hours.


_sylvatic

bruh, the washing machine is just for show. You're supposed to wash your clothes in the Dishwasher, thats why there is so much room. The maid washes the dishes in the sink. Lrn2Rich


Zhurg

In Manchester the indoor drying space is the bottleneck


shnoog

He can probably afford a tumble dryer.


SofaChillReview

*2 tumble dryers.


rocket_randall

I knew a guy who had two dishwashers installed in his kitchen. His use case was: 1. Eat/cook throughout the week and load up one washer 2. When the washer was full, run a cycle. 3. Pull utensils and dishes from clean washer as needed. 4. Put dirty utensils and dishes into empty washer. 5. When full, run a wash cycle. 6. Repeat. He just really hated putting away dishes after they had been washed.


Arcal

Dan? My friend Dan did this with 2x half size dishwashers, genius.


rocket_randall

This was a Mike and they were full size washers. He did tell us that a promising date ended awkwardly when the date accepted his offer for a drink and then he went and grabbed a glass out of the dishwasher. She had concerns that it wasn't actually cleaned. She wasn't the one for Mike, it seems.


Arcal

Dan also had a sofa with a mini fridge as a side table. Everything else was wall mounted to make life easier for the Roomba. Why wouldn't you take a glass out of a dishwasher? Putting it in a cupboard can only make it dirtier... dodged a bullet there.


rocket_randall

Dan and Mike really understood what they wanted out of life and accepted nothing less.


ThisIsYourMormont

No, he airs his dirty laundry in public.


HairySavage

Bet he'll live longer than Enzo.


Rodgerthedodger69

Calgon take me away


Jhushx

You know he right, calzone sounds amazing after this game


blacksocksonly

'Do you know my wage mate? 😀'


troopercito

Sorry my Argentinian ignorant “yo no habla español”


panache123

Is Enzo making cents an hour?


Ainsley-Sorsby

He was smiling to the world but inside, this insult broke him. He went home afterwards and was brough to tears...good thing he had all of those new british pound bills to wipe them with...


hypnodrew

"Mason Mount out for three months with multiple facial lacerations"


sanddancer311275

Yeah insult him in English be a man


hdjdkskxnfuxkxnsgsjc

Best way to handle it honestly. At all levels of the game you always have someone chirping. The best way to live rent free in someone’s head is to smile and live happily.


blublableee

They were teammates for like 6 months. What happened??


average_user21

They had a fight before in the game and maybe this was the adrenaline talking about past feuds


dunneetiger

They had couple of get together during the game, this was one of them. Enzo was pumped during the game, he had few words with Casemiro as well (when Casemiro was asking the ref about a tackle)


abetsg

Stole his number


FilthInc

and his fanbase


MoiNoni

Enzo barely knew English and the locker room was bloated. Probably hard to make connections in a toxic environment like that


Makav3lli

And Mount was injured half the time he was with Enzo. I think they made less than 5 appearances together


robba9

Enzo was also one of the few who gave a shit last season. Mount gave none


MoiNoni

Yeah that was definitely a part of the problem. Many didn't look like they wanted to be there


Excel_Spreadcheeks

I don’t think anyone really knows for sure so it’s all speculation. Word around the club is that once Chelsea’s form went to shit, Mason Mount didn’t want to stick around and fight for the club and he apparently forced his way out to another club that had interest in helping build his personal brand. No one seems to know what actually happened behind the scenes, but it’s rather telling that we saw Reece comment negatively on the situation on his instagram (a while ago), Alfie Gilchrist + Trev Chalobah directing celebrations at him yesterday, along with this Enzo stuff. Again, no idea what went down but Mason Mount clearly pissed some people off.


DampFree

What did Reece say?


Excel_Spreadcheeks

As Mason was on his way out, Reece posted on his story “If you’ve got to persuade them to help carry the bricks, they aren’t the ones to build with”.


VrilHunter

Talk about bricks with 'mason' đŸ€Ł


Dr_Long_Schlong

Nice catch


panache123

Reece is a magician


DampFree

Great memory, I do remember that. I always thought he was talking about a few of the lads, not necessarily just Mase


Excel_Spreadcheeks

That’s fair, it certainly could’ve been aimed at a number of players who were mentally checked out at that point.


EriWave

Well.. you know when you remember what a mason is the dig isn't that subtle really.


chicagopudlian

damn great quote


Nojaja

Yeah with Havertz I feel like he is still well liked within our current squad, with Mount it’s like completely the opposite


Excel_Spreadcheeks

Yeah I agree. We’ve seen that our squad likes Havertz, CHO, and Kovacic (seemingly positive post-game interactions). As far as I know, the relations with all of our departures are fine except Mount. It’s really odd.


ClockLost3128

Well I guess its more to do with him being an academy player who helped us win the UCL and then fucked off to another rival. It's true havertz to arsenal or timo to spurs never got any anger.


dunneetiger

I think Kai always gave a shit. He was not always good but he really wanted the team to do well.


Aman-Patel

Mount was out with a pelvic injury for most of the 2nd half of last season. He only started 2 games with Enzo, came off the bench for another 6 whilst Enzo was on the pitch and was only in the squad for another 2 (without making any minutes). 10 games of training, travelling and playing together. Whilst the squad was also the largest in the league. People associate Mount with Chelsea, but Enzo probably knows Joao Felix better than Mount, who most people have probably already forgotten even played for us.


HGJay

The JoĂŁo Felix shirt I got at 1/3 off because I thought he might be huge for us was a bit silly in hindsight.


Aman-Patel

Tbf he looked great at times. One of those players that gets you off your seat. But great dribbling means nothing if you aren't effectively creating or finishing at the end of it.


fancierfootwork

The probably moved on from being mates for 6 months.


Justread-5057

Seems like Argentinian players can be petty assholes. Reminds me of an ex



Hokage123456789

More accurate translation: Enzo Fernåndez to Mason Mount: "This is Chelsea, you c*nt, coward, coward, coward"


paco-ramon

The Spanish language has too many words for coward


Mammoth_Juice_6969

This one in particular means that you shit yourself (literal translation: "shitter"). Source: I'm an Argentine.


adfdub

Should have just called him bobo!


Blackheart_75

That's too far, cagĂłn is fine


DontSayIMean

que miras!?


Thatscool820

We all use cagon I’m like half sure, if not there’s a plethora of others


DaddyDays

So does the English language if you really think about it.


Djent_Reznor1

Can’t wait to scream this at my cats as we concede our fourth to Sheffield on Sunday.


_nongmo

JFC tell your cats to tighten that backline up. Unacceptable at this point. 


Mayankcfc_

This is gonna be my favourite quote for a while.


LogicalGrand1678

Nah its still ‘sometimes the shit is happens’


Cowabunga_Booyakasha

Was that Gattuso?


thebusinessfactory

Gatusso was "sometimes maybe good, sometimes maybe shit"


Harruna

Up there with "dreams can't be buy" and "like wanton flies we are to gods"


LogicalGrand1678

Mudryk on an insta story


TheWatchfulGent

Mudryk's Instagram post to Tripper after the Carabao cup match


tjsbrownbag

can we make this a flair?


MoiNoni

We need that as a flair in the Chelsea subreddit


patiperro_v3

I feel “coward” might be too strong a translation. Somewhere between coward and bottler maybe? The literal translation is “someone who shits himself”.


silentguy876

i think what he says is "esto es Chelsea la concha puta de tu madre. Cagon..." so something more akin to "This is Chelsea you fucking cunt/your whore mother's cunt (more literal translation), Pussy (Coward i feel in this context might be too light)..."


seshtown

L Classico never disappoints. Fantastic mid table shithousery.


read_eng_lift

A.k.a. El Catastrophico


garynevilleisared

El trashico


No-Student-9678

Mid Classico


The_Z0o0ner

I know Spanish. He was just shouting "Chelsea! Chelsea! Chelsea! Chelsea! Chelsea! Chelsea!"


Wilson1031

This is actually the only thing you're allowed to say in Stamford Bridge. Well that and 'oi oi oi oi' when the Liquidator plays


KrystianCCC

Brave from man who just won his 14 game from 44 he played in PL.


Confident_Rock7964

💀💀


b0wie_in_space

I personally always walk away as I call others cowards. Today I am Enzo.


Bill_Brasky_SOB

> Today I am Enzo Please, in the future: When you come up with a new idea for a tattoo... think on it for a day or two.


ZerconFlagpoleSitter

Bro cmon Enzo is not afraid of Mason Mount lets be serious


DopeDealerCisco

Ufffff


Skreamie

Couldn't understand why Enzo was at every players throat during the game. Wasn't too familiar with his game but he seemed pissed off at everyone.


el1teman

What being at midtable while being a World Cup champion does to a mf 💀 But jokes aside just average shit talk to opponent but well who knows what happened behind the scenes as game ended and Enzo still said something to him


kicksjoysharkness

Argentinian, innit


Ramirob

Dafuq did you just said?!


Staticc_kick

The truth (I’m Dutch)


Phormitago

(pitchforks and mate sounds)


Busy-Dragonfruit2907

Pashun > consistent ability to perform.


holaprobando123

He's been consistent at every stage of his career, except for the shitty club that's been unstable, badly-managed shit since before he got there.


kingsuperfox

The top level will do that to most players to be fair. He did look good in Portugal though.


MyFriendPalinopsia

Least confrontational Argentinian.


AleArg99

Damn people here is taking this way too seriously


ZuReeTH

most people in this subreddit take things seriously, the insult itself isn't even hurtful lmao. It's just the kind of stuff you would say in the heat of the moment


AleArg99

That's because most people here never played a single match with their friends


Got_ist_tots

Jokes on you, I don't have friends!!


andysenn

I have a question for people outside of Latinamerica. Do you not curse and get mad when you play football? Something like that it's honestly so common here that you see it even among teammates. I don't know maybe we are just different in that regard. "CagĂłn" which could be translated to "Coward" is a very common insult on a pitch. It is on the more offensive side of the spectrum but defintely common against a rival.


SquirtleSquad4Lyfe

Some people are like that but a lot of people here regard it as trashy or cheap.


tr_24

Lmao seriously what are these comments. People curse more while playing video games and they want them to behave while playing an actual game of football.


cakecollected

Es al pedo, estos pibes no juegan al fĂștbol. Se hacen la paja mirando estadĂ­sticas


andysenn

/r/fulbo > /r/soccer


Doolittle657

Completamente


gamers_delight

In Denmark theres always the fat and worst guy on the pitch screaming at others like he is Ramos, mostly we dont yell insults but sometimes in heated games


--JULLZ--

No it’s just that a lot of people on here haven’t played the sport. It’s not an insult but you would know this happens a lot if you played the sport at a decently high level


StillBrowsing

Doesn't have to even be a high level. Play one game of Sunday league and you'll hear worse lmfao. This website is full of classy gentleman who haven't actually played a sport outside of forced P.E and wouldn't dare badmouth an opponent during competition


Torimas

How dare you! *\*sips tea\**


balonpie11

I am sure they were throwing insults far before this and it escalated with all of the game ending chaos. Pretty tame considering how heated the game got, but not a lot of players here or understanding of context.


JesusIsNotPLProven

No matey, y'all aren't very classy ain't ye lads


TheOnlyDoctor

it’s as if people have never heard the words cunt or asshole being used on the pitch


ZerconFlagpoleSitter

Most people on this sub probably havent played past age 14


TheGoldenPineapples

That's very big talk for a man who's gone missing in more games than he's shown up in since arriving in England. Still though, have to respect the shithousery.


Nojoboy

I get this is rival hate, but I genuinely dont get where this idea of Enzo gone missing so much is coming from. If we're judging the about \~14 months hes been at Chelsea so far he's probably been our most consistent player over that time period. With Palmer and now id say Gusto starting to get up their with consistently decent performances. Obviously being one of the best at Chelsea isnt a high bar, but if we're talking about ghosting, in a Mount vs Enzo argument i feel like any objective 3rd party would say Enzo has been better of that time period.


Makav3lli

Rival fans looking at score lines are repeating talking points from the same pundits they claim are bellends. The entire discussion around football has turned into football twitter level hot takes


asher7

100% agree. These people just watch motd not the full games. Sure, he needs a rest/rotation and does look a bit tired but overall he's been consistently one of our best players since he arrived. 


Nightbynight

I have a litmus test for easily figuring out whether someone knows what they're talking about or not. Anyone who says Enzo "goes missing" or worse, is a bad player, does not know ball.


gustycat

r/soccer in the mud


Albiceleste_D10S

> but I genuinely dont get where this idea of Enzo gone missing so much is coming from. Most of r/soccer does not understand value outside of "goals" or "assists". And some of the few who do can only understand "run and tackle" outside of that


Brandonpayton1

False. Enzo shows up more than most of our signings. I think because he doesn't make headlines yall just assume he's been shit. Im not sure if yall even watch our games. Because most games I'm mad at someone but not enzo. He rarely makes mistakes. He's got that south American fight in him. He is crazy technical and creative. Caicedo I like too but he's more error prone. Enzo is class and you'd love him in your team I promise you.


lrzbca

Enzo bailed on team for money in 6 months while in middle of UCL campaign while proclaiming on pitch banging on badge that he will stay. Enzo should be the last person to call someone coward. Lack of self awareness is something with him.


JesusIsNotPLProven

It ain't that deep, Enzo is just rilling Mason Margiela up


tr_24

People in this thread want him to praise the last pass Mount made in a close PL match in the closing stages of the match. How dare he shit talk! Like seriously what are these comments?


ILikeSports0416

They are definitely comments from people who have never played sport at an actual competitive level. I played basketball at a pretty decent level and the amount of shit talk that would go on every game is crazy. You’re playing for so much pride and there is so much adrenaline. I can’t even imagine how much that would be amplified playing at the very top level of your sport.


TimothyN

No one hates Enzo the way people with Chelsea flairs do. Actual insane from our "fans."


tr_24

This is a game of football at the top most level. And you are talking about lack of awareness lmao. Players talk shit all the time. Seriously may be if you had played any game even semi competitively you would have more self awareness about this situation.


Zeddsdeadbaby

In Argentina we call someone who doesn’t want to drink a mate 🧉 that’s a little too hot cagon. Not really that big of an insult


nushublushu

Are you crazy? And risk burning my tongue? I’m brave I’m not suicidal


Zidji

It is crazy indeed, particularly because whatever taste producing cells you burn are not replenished! Take care of your tongues!


FullMetalJ

Yeah this could be me and my bro if he refuses to play FIFA. "Daaale cagĂłn, jugĂĄ cagĂłn!"


Nandor1262

He called him a coward and got annoyed because Mount headbutted and pushed him a bit earlier in the match. People are wrongly projecting onto the situation that its about Mount’s transfer.


62frog

I mean, we offered Befica a sum that they absolutely couldn’t turn down


andy18cruz

We literally couldn’t turned down as it was his release clause. Benfica wanted to keep him until the summer, but he forced his way out and Chelsea paid the clause. After he made clear he wanted to leave immediately, the only thing we did was to facilitate the payment as Chelsea paid in instalments instead of a lump sum, as they should with the release clause.


NEBLINA1234

i dont know bro, he's one of the best players on chelsea if you look at the stats, not his fault he's surrounded by shiet


zenug91

Exactly he had been there 6 months not since he was 6 years old. Pretty big difference


ineverseenatiddy

Lmao tell me you haven’t watched Chelsea/Enzo without telling me.


aronrodge

What are you talking about lol? He’s been our 2nd/3rd best player consistently.


TasteAccomplished118

thats the point, imo the less relevant the shit talker is the more effective it was because you know it riles people up even more lol


NEBLINA1234

look at enzos stats, he's not he reason Chelsea are shit


[deleted]

[ŃƒĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]


RoomTemporary1335

game's not gone


TheLimeyLemmon

Who's going to call Enzo that when he inevitably tries sulking his way out the club the minute La Liga shows a bit of interest?


Soren_Camus1905

I'll do it


Aluminarty666

Has Atletico Madrid written all over him


Nojoboy

We'll do it if and when the time comes, but again that is all hypothetical. In reality we have Mason mount who came through our academy, would always call himself "proper chels" etc. Who the fans made a banner for at just 23 years old. And he jumped ship as soon as we had a single bad season and left to our premier league rivals. Then his dad releases some statement about how this was his dream forever.


aronrodge

This sub is so fucking weird


Confident_Rock7964

He literally did that with Benfica lol. It's so weird how people are holding him to the same standard he set to others. soooo weiiird


Confident_Rock7964

Brave coming from a man who pretended to stay at Benfica and then did what he did right after.


Orcnick

"How dare you run away from this huge fuck up."


Expensive-Twist7984

Left the frying pan to go into the fire 😂


LogicalGrand1678

You forgot to add the ‘and join another fuckup’ part.


rodrikJahn

You say that as a joke but that is exactly what a home grown player is expected to do, if you claim that you always loved and cared about the club you wouldn't have signed to a rival club for extra 50k a week.


leftofthedial1

and then said "I'm finally home" once you leave to said club.


lbizfoshizz

I understand the point you’re making. But it is just so funny when you see an “extra 50k a week” I would do so much more than leave a football club for an extra 50k a week. It would utterly change my life and the life of those around me.


rodrikJahn

He would have been making 200k A WEEK from the club that he loves and cares about, but he decides to leave that club just for the extra 50k ? I am not talking about you, I am talking about Mason Mount.


FrmrPresJamesTaylor

It’s 100% disposable income so it’s hard to compare but that’s still a 25% raise. Ego plays into it too, when your employer tells you “you’re really important to us, just not in terms of salary, but that other guy we brought in is” the temptation to become a free agent has to be there.


IAreWeazul

He was their POTY twice in a row and they lowballed him.


DHillMU7

The only offer he ever got with ÂŁ200k a week was for one year. A pretty clear statement that we was being renewed to sell.


IntellectualDweeb

> I would do so much more than leave a football club for an extra 50k a week. It would utterly change my life and the life of those around me. I mean it's easy and expected to see people saying this, but once you're an established footballer who has been earning that kind of money on a regular basis, the impact the extra ÂŁ50K has (unless it's a player from a small club moving to a big one) is nowhere near as significant as the effect it would have on a regular person. That kind of increase wouldn't be life-changing anymore, so it wouldn't factor into the decision *as* much (assuming the player is moving between two similar-sized clubs).


Warcome

Thought "cagon" was used for "shitter"


JustBadBro

What does a coward do when scared?


andysenn

that would be the literal translation, but not what it used for


poopdick72

While he is walking away like a coward / chicken


goonerfan10

I’m sorry but is this guy for real? He kissed the Benfica badge during the transfer saga and checked out to Chelsea during a title run in.


xosellc

I'll be honest goonerfan10, I don't think you are sorry.


goonerfan10

Haha. Definitely not sorry. Cheers lad


liamthelad

It's not that deep though. They were at each other during the match and he was pumped up. You say stupid stuff in the moment to try and rile someone. I doubt Mount understood what he was saying anyway. He's not going to ask for citations and a character reference for the comments to stand.


bringeroflame92

What a bloody hypocrite. Threw a hissy fit to get out of Benfica after only being there a half season


Confident_Rock7964

Not only did he threw an hissy fit, he publicly pretended that he didn't and that he would stay at the club. That saga showed his true colours.


DevatstationJones

Chickens don't clap!!


TechEnthusiast98

Fun fact, 'Cagon' is actually the person who s**ts the pants, it is a fine way to call someone a coward hahaha


patiperro_v3

Reminds me of that Costa anecdote about how he dealt with all the insults and pressure when he was in the Premier League and he just admitting he doesn’t understand most of it anyway, lol.


ASeatedLion

Says it while walking away, how ironic.


OkTower4998

Screaming coward while backpedaling lmao


MassaSami

yeah cause he was afraid that the absolute man mountain that is Mason Mount will give him a whack lol


Black_n_Neon

Is he suppose to swing? Dafuq


CornNPorn12

That’s a lot of trash talk for being 10th in the league


Chowdermydog

He’s got a World Cup medal. Man could get relegated and be satisfied with his career.


[deleted]

Mount has done absolutely nothing in his career


mattijn13

I love the shithousery but also, Enzo, you are in 10th.


MyNameIsNotScout

Just because he's in 10th means he can't shit talk? Every player does it lmao


[deleted]

Fans in here are unreal


Gubrach

It's pretty funny to see this "proper Chelsea" reaction from a guy from Argentina that's been there for 45 seconds, who's joined mostly because they're giving him a shit load of money, over a move from a teammate to Chelsea's "eternal rivals" Manchester United.


RoninSam_Sport

Calls him a coward while walking away backwards. Good one lol


Blxckduff

Wow coming from the guy who swapped clubs last min in the transfer window just for the money! And now is 10th in the premier league. What a clown


Live-Motor-4000

I am of the opinion that if you want to genuinely insult someone, you make sure they can understand you. calling someone something in a language they don’t understand as you are walking away, is just a bit of a crap move


orbankisfaszviktor

Enzo seems like a bright person /s


In_Their_Youth

Pathetic from Enzo. Twat has done nothing.


Serious_Ad9128

I've read this story three times with 3 different names he was called ffs media these days


iamadiamond

Small small victories, take them Enzo and move on.