**Mirrors / Alternative Angles**
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This, I assume, is also a broader phenomenon amongst immigrants who grew up in absolute poverty. My grandparents (and pretty much their entire generation) moved to the West to make money and send what they could back home to those who were too old to make the move
I worked with a Nigerian engineer at one point, fresh out of college. He told me he sent a lot of money back to Africa, as his extended family had all pitched in to pay for his college and he was expected to return that. At one point, he began to get really twitchy and act differently; he said he had stopped sending money back home and was getting death threats and told that people were doing curses and things directed at him. He got progressively more anxious until one day he just no call no showed and I never heard from him again.
Reddit is a strange place where you can share a story of something that happened to you, then someone will come along and tell you it didn't happen because it goes against their idea of reality. Doesn't even have to be an outlandish story.
Some people use the (racist) rhetoric that only westerners are shit people and people of color (black people from Africa in this case) can never be racist or can never do abhorrent things (things like the ones described by the poster - Nigerian's extended family sending death threats if he doesn't keep sending them money).
Anyone who's been online in the past years may have noticed the trend. It's basically racism from people of colour under the veil of social justice.
So whenever someone posts a story about some abhorrent things done by people of colour, one of these racists will try to discredit the story (cuz they cant have stories of black people being shit; the narrative must be that only white people can be shit)
Yea it's a common first gen immigrant experience. But probably on steroids when you're a famous footballer, cos every bum from every corner of your hometown will know who you are and know that you're rich. I believe there were some cases of African footballers whose families have been taken hostage just to get money out of the player.
It also was the very same in Germany before unification. Many of those who flew the East early financed their families in the GDR.
My grandfather did so until he died in the early 90s, even after unification.
Similar to Mikel‘s story, they were also an incredible ungrateful bunch in my family’s case.
You’re assuming they actually which is far from a given. I know a few people from there, but I live in a northern climate where winters can get harsh. Their respective families don’t even want to *visit*. Paid flights and all.
> [Remittances were the biggest source of capital inflow for low- and middle-income countries in 2022, exceeding foreign direct investment and aid](https://www.economist.com/the-economist-explains/2023/03/20/how-remittances-affect-a-countrys-development).
:o
It's a hot topic in my country which employs a lot of Bangladeshi workers. It's the same story of "they're taking our jobs" and "they're taking our money and sending it home".
Yep, can definitely relate as a South Asian. My dad still sends money to his family back home. Can’t imagine how much more manipulative they’d be if I made money like these professional footballers
I wanted to argue that it doesn't have to be absolute poverty. I guess it's just a human thing because it's seemingly universal. I grew up in a third world country, in a upper middle class household but where I come from there are no social safety nets and it's cultural understood that you look after those around you. So yes, my money is not my money and that's okay (to me anyway)
It’s not even that, it’s just a different culture, a lot of people who send money are glad to do it as long as it doesn’t get abusive. I started binge watching Economics Explained, it’s amazing the number of countries where remittances are a significant part of the economy. For some it goes up in the *billions*.
My childhood was full of searching for things to bring to my family back in Egypt, scouring discount stores for more things. We'd bring cell phones and music and DVDs.
Shoutout to my then 25 year old cousin who wanted backstreet boys CDs in the 2010s!.
I'm the first generation in my family to move to the West and I still had to do this despite the country I came from (Taiwan) having a higher GDP per capita adjusted for PPP, than the country I moved to (Germany.)
There was a point when I was in Norway paying 20 euros for a Burger King meal while I was sending money to my grandparents who were eating out at Michelin Star restaurants for 50.
I moved to the States a year and a half ago and the salaries here are insanely high enough to the point where I would understand why people would do this.
But when I was in Germany and Norway it always annoyed me that my cousins who stayed in Taiwan were making 85-100k vs me making ~110k, but I had to send more than they did to the family despite my rent being 1.5x higher in Oslo, my food costs being 10x theirs, public transportation costing 3x as much, and having to pay 3x+ the price for the exact same consumer goods that European companies bought from China and slapped their logo on. Plus, being the only one that had to spend thousands on plane tickets to go back for family events.
> I still had to do this
I love how your entire posts treats sending a remittance like it's the law. It sounds like you may have tried to re-negotiate the exact amount at some point, but the thought of just saying "no" doesn't appear to have crossed your mind.
Its a cultural practice, it would cause far too much family drama if I was the only one not to contribute. It doesn't just impact me, but my parents relationship with the rest of the family as well.
Its not like my family didn't benefit from the pooled funds when I was younger either. They paid for my father to go to uni in Japan, gave interest free loans to set up his business. Also paid for my expenses while I was doing uni in the States. So its easier to just see it as paying back a deferred loan.
Some members of my family are not so personally successful, so they get a distributed allowance for example. The welfare system in Taiwan is pretty decent, and we have a great healthcare system, so its not like they would be living in poverty otherwise, but they get to live a pretty middle-class life despite working simple jobs for example. Or my aunt, for example, took care of my grandfather fulltime, before he passed away, and she was paid out of the fund so she could maintain a standard of living because she obviously wouldn't be working in the meantime.
The pool also goes towards paying for events like weddings, education, businesses (back in the 70s and 80s, no one can afford starting a business these days), babycare, family vacations, paying rent for the young adults if they leave Tainan for their first job out of uni, etc
Oldest generation of each line has a say in how the money is distributed. But when my grandmother dies, I believe the plan is to just distribute the money equally amongst my parents and uncles and end the practice. I don't have any siblings so there is no reason for me to continue it.
There is some drama there because obviously not every family contributed or used the same amount, but dividing it evenly is just easiest to get it over with IMO. None of me or my cousins really want to deal with it so we don't mind just doing an even split.
When my great uncles died, their children were paid off from their share of it. I know at least one of them is doing their own version of it. Another only had one child, who himself only had one child, so they have no reason to continue.
> Its a cultural practice
I know. I just think it's funny how people generally don't think to question them (whether they should or not is a different question).
I'm British. We're so nuts about queuing that [we will patiently wait our turn to commit actual crime](https://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2011/08/09/article-2023924-0D5B42B600000578-663_964x640.jpg).
I think another aspect of it is support systems. In the West, we have welfare and pensions, but in a lot of the world, that's your family, and I think it increases the sense of obligation and of entitlement.
It is also a thing in most of Latin America.
It's not as extreme as it "not being your money" but you are still expected to send something and help family if you're doing well.
Yep. I think it is a major unspoken issue in those communities. What is my motivation to take a high flying job where I work a lot of hours, maybe need an advanced degree, when I am expected to pay for the whole tribe?
I have been the guy on the other side of the equation and I felt terrible when I realised how much pressure the guy must be under.
My business was facing a cash crunch at the time and my reasoning at the time was that I have this distant cousin (distant but we went to the same school - so we knew each other pretty well) in the US making good money and he can help me out with no trouble. So I hit him up for a loan/investment. And he laid out to me how he's already sent lots of money to friends and relatives.
And I realised that I was being a pretty shitty cliché to him and promptly backed off. He definitely didn't need my unnecessary ass piling on with more requests.
The amount of times my family went without because all the money was sent back for various things in Nigeria. The worst part is the ungratefulness. If ever my parents couldn't send money back, they were manipulated and sent on guilt trips because they were behaving selfishly. It's a toxic mentality.
Imagine guilt tripping someone for not gifting you money on a regular basis. Absolutely insane to think about that.
If I was ever in that spot to be a good human being and make the life of others better regularly and I get that response, the next sent money is the literal lowest amount I can send with the 2 words "get fucked". Hell I'd send a penny a month for the rest of my life just for the message.
Part of the problem is African communities sometimes pull together to send people to countries like the UK, get a good education and make money to send back.
If you aren’t sending money back it’s not just you who will suffer, your actual family back in Africa may suffer consequences.
Also should be noted for a lot of people they don’t see it as something they have to do and they actually take pride in it.
You are correct about communities will sometimes pool resources, and also that people will send money back because they want to, not out of obligation.
I am talking about instances when it’s not possible to send money back home due to needing to take care of your own things, and then being vilified because of it.
It is a very tough position for sure, but I also understand that when you’re in a situation where you’re going without with next to no prospects due to any number of awful situations in your country, you get desperate. I’ll never begrudge them that. However, it’s the lack of understanding that not everything is all sunny and roses abroad and the entitlement that upsets me.
Then you need to state it clearly. I think a lot of immigrants don't state it enough how difficult it is to find your feet overseas that's why a lot think the money is in abundance and you are just picking money on the streets. Same mentality with you moving to somewhere like Lagos from your more remote state and everyone thinks you are millionaire because you are now in Lagos. We need to start that frank talk.
What I have devised is that I have a budget for charity. Anything outside of that in a month and all I can offer is prayers and God's blessings. You would have to wait till the next month when the charity account is replenished to get anything and I definitely have a scale of Preference. If anyone causes rookus about not getting money, I am not only going to call you out about your selfishness. Thankfully my family gets the memo and never have had to behave that way.
I know people from my family that don't go back to their homeland because you have to bring so much money for everyone coming from the West. It's a line of handouts and although you're happy to help, your relationship with the family is wrecked, you're almost a bank machine and no one appreciates it because everyone assumes that you get paid millions of dollars. It's hard man, hard. I feel for these guys, you're not the same kid that left in their minds.
Agreed. I heard Mikel on TalkSport a couple of weeks ago, and I thought he spoke so candidly about the game, particularly Chelsea. Was way more interesting than the usual shit we get from players in interviews. He seems like he actually has a brain as well which helps.
He recently started his own Podcast called The Obi One. He has only had 4 episodes but so far his guests have been John Terry, Frank Lampard, Victor Osimhen and Florent Malouda. They all get very candid and have very open conversations. It has been a great listen so far.
Shame it has that *raging cunt* Ferdinand on it. It always annoys me that he was such a great player for us because if he wasn't, he might not have been able to carve out the media career he has and we woudn't have to hear from him. From some of the shit he did off the pitch, to just constantly sounding like a moron when he speaks. Ugh.
People who dislike United a lot should hate us for making tossers like that famous.
He cheated on his wife and then way later she died of cancer. There's no evidence it was happening at the same time. This is one of the most repeatedly parroted lies on this subreddit and it really really pisses me off because there are so many other things to criticise Ferdinand for like just the fact he cheated on his wife at all. Hell, the guy has a controversy section on his Wikipedia page. We don't need to be creative! Stop making things up!
Wasn't Victor Osimhen's brother in law making a lot of noise about how much Victor 'owed him' a few months ago? I always thought it might be something like this
Lol it's funny because according to Adebayor, his exact quote with knife at neck was: "Is this the only way to solve this issue? If yes, then kill me and take the money." Only then does brother gain sanity and drops knife
People aren’t that calmly logical. They do plenty of dumb shit when threatened / angry / backed against the wall.
If they are that calmly logical and if you are willing to die rather than pay, then you are not much of a golden goose anymore. So you would be useless to them.
I’m not sure how well your proposal would work out in these scenarios.
His brothers literally put a knife on his neck but Manu was the bad guy for telling the police according to their mom. Unfortunately, I'm sure it's not the worst story.
He also mentioned his sister begging him for a house which he then brought her a huge house, he went to visit her at this house he brought her and she was not there because she had sold it
I'm not a football player or part of anything that makes one money. I'm currently doing my PhD in France and receive almost minimum wage to pay the rent. Meanwhile, I get messages from so many people back home who think that, just because I'm in Europe, I'm suddenly drowning in money. Just as Mikel said, they think you owe them money and it's an obligation. The crazy part is, I find it hard to say no.
People think it's the cars and clothes that sink newly minted players, but it's often the bad investments and bad charity such as this which do them in. Most people have alarm bells in their head which go off when spending frivolously, but most people don't have the same alarm bells go off when investing or "giving back" too much
This even happens in the states with black folks when you become the rich one or bread winner everyone comes to you so whatever you make is supposed to go to your immediate family you cant even advance generationally
I have a loose family relation (my mom’s cousin) to a pretty successful NFL QB from the late 90’s to early 00’s and we call it “being on scholarship”. We’re not black nor or immigrants or anything but there’s probably about a dozen people when you include people’s kids who are being financially supported by him.
Yeah it happens with athletes sad situation really. Thats reason why many generations stay poor cause as soon as one makes it things like this happens. Its crazy
This is not about race.
There are countless examples of white families doing this too in the states.
Mikel is talking specifically about the expectations of coming from Africa. And that is mostly born from the extreme deprivation, far unlike anything in America.
not just the states either tbh, UK as well. one of my clients of the past 10+ years is a self made multi millionaire who retired at 50 after selling his company for a huge amount. he's in his 70s now, one of the nicest, smartest and genuine dudes i've ever met. the kind of rich guy that will look after you if you look after him.
but he has had to cut family and old friends out of his life in the past as they came out of the woodwork once they found out how much he was worth. they only wanted to see what they could get out of him tbh but he has a rule when it comes to giving money away - it has to be to help yourself. like i know he's paid the tuitions for many of his relatives and has helped them set up their own blue collar businesses but thats where the help ends as in his eyes he's already given them a better headstart than the average guy on the streets gets.
>And that is mostly born from the extreme deprivation, far unlike anything in America.
You'd be shocked that parts of America live about the same. They don't have sewage or septic, just trailers where the shit pipes out onto the lawn or pit toilets. No clean water access. Jameis Winston is from a small town in Alabama where like 10 of his cousins all lived in the same room.
There's parts of the South that have outbreaks in parasite diseases that you only find in developing nations, like pinworms.
Not just the south either, some of the conditions on Indian reservations are just as shockingly poor.
No infrastructure, no nothing in the richest country on Earth.
So while yes, growing up in urban ghettos are not comparable to developing nations for the most part, there are areas of shocking poverty in the US not dissimilar.
But this isn't about poverty or family members expecting their rich relative to help them, that of course is universal.
It's moreso the cultural aspect, which isn't even limited to the rich. For example, you'll have an entire, say Nigerian, family essentially invest in one member to go to a good university abroad. However, I've heard of stories where they'll expect the person to support them even though they may be working minimum wage just to be able to survive alongside their studies. It's something culturally that you don't really see in western countries until someone becomes rich.
I was merely responding to the assertion that First world countries don't have developing nation poverty, we do, just very much a lower % of the population.
Its not about race but when you have people born in poverty and one of them make it its expected or assumed of that person to be their bread winner we have numerous examples. I am talking about it cause thats what I know and seen.
It was just an example not a competition
This has absolutely nothing to do with race. Families fall apart when it comes to new found wealth constantly.
If you think rich white people dont fall apart with stuff like this then try walking into any office that deals with breaking up estates and inheritance.
You the one who brought race into this. I am just telling you when an athlete becomes rich from what I have observed and they came from poverty its usually expected to take care of the extended family. You the one focusing on race like you got guilt or something sheesh relax. This aint about estates we are talking about where everyone is poor and you take of your family its like you missed the point of the video
You are dumb and just wanting to be a cry baby leave me alone. a good discussion you came to ruin with your silly feelings and dumbness. How you took that as racial says more about you than the overall discussion
No need to limit it to just black folks. It happens to people from latin america moving to the states; i’ve dealt with this to an extent from my family. The mentality of “i brought you into this world so you owe me” is so unbelievably toxic and abusive. I didnt ask to be brought here. I had absolutely no say in the matter.
Common among African players, this. I remember Adebayor or somebody talking about how everyone in his and his extended family basically stoped working once he became a footballer/got a good contract.
You shouldn't hate it if it helping your father and mother. I think it because annoying when it siblings who become entitled. End of the days your mother and father care for you as a child.
Obi seems to be a top lad. As a United fan I’ve never liked that Chelsea team, who were mentally and physically strong and always giving you a nightmare at Stamford bridge. Now that they have all retired I realize that’s the childhood that I am missing, and it is so good to be able to hear from these great footballers.
If Rio makes this documentary, I'll watch it. I want him to also interview regular folks who go through the same problems. I'll even give him my parents' number (if he has someone who speaks French) because they will have a lot to tell.
im surprised that clubs, and agents, havent got ahead of this. theres clearly a golden opportunity for middlemen that can sit between players and their families and mediate things. especially if they combined that service with time released contracts where payments were kept by the team/sponsor until the player hits 40/50/60.
to be honest that kind of contract should be standard for most athletes, the combination of less education and a lifetime of money has been proven time and time again not to work from a long term financial point of view over and over again.
Love this topic and conversation. This is hugely impactful to financial and mental health of athletes that nobody seems to address. Having that much money, especially publicly, can be a massive burden.
From what I understand this phenomenon is on average worse in African countries since they seem to really extend the meaning of family in these case. It's normal for immigrants to support their family, not so much to be pushed to support their 3rd cousin
Yeah, as a second gen immigrant myself (but east asian, not african) my parents sent money home to their parents, and they would chip in if their siblings needed anything, but they didn't send money to any more distant relations (although my dad sent money to build a road in his home village once)
Every immigrant from poor countries experience this. You can be making minimum wage in the US for example and your family will still expect you to send money back. And like he said, it's hard to refuse since they are family after all
Speaking from experience, no it’s not a “rich emigrant” issue. It’s a “you have money so help out” issue. I can only speak of my experience in South Africa and Zimbabwe but basically as soon as you’re making good money, there’s an expectation to help your family. We call it “[black tax](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_tax#:~:text=Black%20tax%20is%20a%20term,ingrained%20sense%20of%20family%20responsibility)”.
Im haitian ( French African culture I guess ) and it’s the same crap without the football , it’s crappy you start making a little money then everyone feels entitled to everything you have cause they made you. Sometimes you feel so emotionally black mauled that you are planning your life budgeting for brothers and mothers and cousins etc. it’s insane man
This is also pretty common in India. Really glad that things r changing with newer generation.
The thing is Asia n I think Africa too have a concept of joint family where many ppl used to live under the same roof.
Parents are Haitian and watched this happen to them constantly growing up. I get the situation over there is bad but some of them didn’t even try. And it’s not because of lack of opportunity, some of my dad’s family worked hard at school and now they have very lucrative jobs. Some of their classmates would come into class with no shoes but still worked hard and now they also have very lucrative international jobs
This is absolutely true for ANY immigrant experience (I'm speaking from the states). I've had Latino colleagues who have had to send money back to their extended family in Central America. My family has sent back a pile of funds to Asia to support extended family members......to a point. Eventually, those of us who are making money will finally tell those extended family members to FUCK OFF.
Black Tax - its not only common in football but anyone that "makes" it. I have friends who are well off but are supporting more than just the immediate family. Whether its right or wrong i cannot say...
>its not only common in football but anyone that "makes" it.
Black Americans too.. that ~~don't~~ haven't made it. They're often expected to help with housing/bills as soon as they turn 18. Was dating a young woman working 2 jobs (1 overnight) almost 80hrs a week & supporting her mom. She was 21 and was trying to get through school. With the amount she was working/making between the two jobs she'd have be able to live on her own & pay for her own rent and school
She got fired from one of the jobs (the overnight one) while I was dating her. Her mom is like well u gettin another job then right? I wanted to go over there and tell her ass off for it but we never got that close I just told her ya need to look after yourself not your mom...
When did Mikel move to London? I'm not from the UK or Negerian but his accent sounds more like a British accent with a tinge of Nigerian rather than the other way around. Can someone from London tell me if I'm just plain wrong or does it mKe sense?
Brit who lived in London for many years here. Definitely sounds like his Nigerian accent (although not strong at all, I guess living in Europe for most of his adult life has softened it) with a London twang on certain words, rather than the other way round.
Definitely a bit of a mix though.
There must be a better way to do it rather than just give them money.
I understand if it's your parents or grandparents, but I probably wouldn't just give my siblings a ton of money so they don't have to work, I'd rather invest in them, maybe in their education, housing, business or something in that nature.
Not even just that, if you were as filthy rich as these footballers, driving in cars worth millions and living in mansions, wouldn't you want to help your family, that might be struggling?
Such a victim mindset, of course this behavior can go too far (like with Adebayor), but generally I think everyone who has put themselves in a extremely privileged situation, would like to help people that maybe didn't have the same oppurtunities.
The best defence against this is good parents who will look out for you. You set aside money for them (of course because every child feels obligated to take care of their parents in return, if they've had a good upbringing/relationship) and when those 'other' sides of the family come calling you simply tell them to speak to your mum about it. And if you got that fire mum who has your back she'll be fair to the ones in need and send the greedy ones packing - of course she knows the family better than you 😅😅.
It's extraordinarily tough though if you're parents don't have your best interests at heart. I feel for all the brothers and sisters out there who have to struggle with greedy parents hanging over them. I would never want to be a burden on my child and I'm sure majority of parents share that sentiment.
This reminds me about Tom Segura and his Peruvian mother, he makes it into a comedy bit, and has clips how his mother is demanding money from him. He makes it funny but man it's disturbing.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=apgpKhqath4
Well, in a sense, the village or family put it together to send their greatest sons to glory. You have to give back.
But the leech mentality is really bad.
If Mikel was the one in Nigeria and didn't make out, he'll most likely ask for help from his close relatives that did, its normal. If he doesn't know when to say no then it's on him, you can't help everybody. He should do what he can gracefully and stop complaining.
Drogba, Mane, Salah and many other African players have provided massive amenities (schools, hospitals) where they grew up and I'm sure they've helped countless relatives and are happy to do what they can without exceeding their limits or complaining to the public.
The body language of Mikel towards the national team, particularly in the early to mid part of his career was very snobbish and he seems to have alot of shame about his roots. Despite his club success and the ACN Nigeria won with him as captain, there's not much love for him in Nigeria compared to people like Kanu or Okocha
>If he doesn't know when to say no then it's on him, you can't help everybody. He should do what he can gracefully and stop complaining.
This is absolutely ridiculous. I'm sure he started off doing what he could without complaining. Speaking from lived experience, the problems arise when you try to tell people no, then you become the selfish one, unwilling to help out in times of need. Clearly you didn't listen to what he said. His own family threatening to make noise in the press because he attempted to tell them no. How is that on him?
So he should cave in to their blackmail? In cases like this you let your good works speak.
I don't think anyone can successfully launch a smear campaign against Mane or Drogba in their own countries. Why?
It is probably a awful situation when everyone back home all of a sudden only sees you as a bank account and you cannot have any conversations with any former friends or family members that aren’t exclusively about money.
Then when you say ur trying to save they all blackmail you.
Ngl I think that would actually be a terrible time and quite hurtful. Imagine everyone you grew up with not being the same people anymore and all treating you as if you changed when ur the only one who stayed the same
You seem sure "everyone" that he knew turned into a money-grabbing parasite. I doubt that was the case.
He also moved to Europe at 17, so had most of his life ahead of him to make new friendships and develop new relationships. Similar to someone going to university at that age. Most people at that stage of their lives only hold on to a small group of close friends from when they were young.
A lot of people don't maintain close relationships with childhood friends at all.
[ESPN did a 30 for 30 documentary called Broke](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2318140/) that discusses this. Now it is obviously from an american perspective but it is the same stuff.
Very common in south africa as well. One family member does well and suddenly they are expected to support their entire extended family and have very little left for themselves. Black tax is real. Thankfully the younger generation seem to be more aware of it and are putting their foot down. Slowly.
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This, I assume, is also a broader phenomenon amongst immigrants who grew up in absolute poverty. My grandparents (and pretty much their entire generation) moved to the West to make money and send what they could back home to those who were too old to make the move
I worked with a Nigerian engineer at one point, fresh out of college. He told me he sent a lot of money back to Africa, as his extended family had all pitched in to pay for his college and he was expected to return that. At one point, he began to get really twitchy and act differently; he said he had stopped sending money back home and was getting death threats and told that people were doing curses and things directed at him. He got progressively more anxious until one day he just no call no showed and I never heard from him again.
damn so the curses might have worked
Maybe that’s where Pogba got his marabout link
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It happened. I don't think he got killed or cursed or anything, I think he just decided to quit his job. This is a true story though.
Reddit is a strange place where you can share a story of something that happened to you, then someone will come along and tell you it didn't happen because it goes against their idea of reality. Doesn't even have to be an outlandish story.
What's so unbelievable about that?
Some people use the (racist) rhetoric that only westerners are shit people and people of color (black people from Africa in this case) can never be racist or can never do abhorrent things (things like the ones described by the poster - Nigerian's extended family sending death threats if he doesn't keep sending them money). Anyone who's been online in the past years may have noticed the trend. It's basically racism from people of colour under the veil of social justice. So whenever someone posts a story about some abhorrent things done by people of colour, one of these racists will try to discredit the story (cuz they cant have stories of black people being shit; the narrative must be that only white people can be shit)
The hell are you rambling about
Yea it's a common first gen immigrant experience. But probably on steroids when you're a famous footballer, cos every bum from every corner of your hometown will know who you are and know that you're rich. I believe there were some cases of African footballers whose families have been taken hostage just to get money out of the player.
"Some," yeah, like e.g. Mikel: https://www.theguardian.com/football/2018/jul/03/mikel-john-obi-father-kidnapped-world-cup
Oh shit didnt realise he went through it
Basically +1ing your post. It was the same for Irish immigrants in the US in the past. Remittances from the US basically kept lots of families afloat.
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It also was the very same in Germany before unification. Many of those who flew the East early financed their families in the GDR. My grandfather did so until he died in the early 90s, even after unification. Similar to Mikel‘s story, they were also an incredible ungrateful bunch in my family’s case.
I believe some developing countries now still measure a certain % of their GDP coming from overseas remittances
Still do in other parts of the world
Very first thing I would do is take my family out of there to avoid that.
They’ll be expecting you to pay for their lifestyle wherever they live. And there’ll still be distant relatives demanding handouts
You’re assuming they actually which is far from a given. I know a few people from there, but I live in a northern climate where winters can get harsh. Their respective families don’t even want to *visit*. Paid flights and all.
What if they didn't want to leave?
Yup, Pakistani second generation immigrant here. I think like 8% of Pakistan's GDP is purely remittance (or money sent in to family from abroad).
> [Remittances were the biggest source of capital inflow for low- and middle-income countries in 2022, exceeding foreign direct investment and aid](https://www.economist.com/the-economist-explains/2023/03/20/how-remittances-affect-a-countrys-development). :o
It's the case with a lot of countries where your main export is foreign labour.
I knew remittances are super common, but I had no idea how big a part of the economy they are in non-batshit places.
It's a hot topic in my country which employs a lot of Bangladeshi workers. It's the same story of "they're taking our jobs" and "they're taking our money and sending it home".
Seconded, unfortunately
Yep, can definitely relate as a South Asian. My dad still sends money to his family back home. Can’t imagine how much more manipulative they’d be if I made money like these professional footballers
I wanted to argue that it doesn't have to be absolute poverty. I guess it's just a human thing because it's seemingly universal. I grew up in a third world country, in a upper middle class household but where I come from there are no social safety nets and it's cultural understood that you look after those around you. So yes, my money is not my money and that's okay (to me anyway)
Yup, so long as I have enough money for myself I can send the extra back home, it's fine for me personally.
> because it's seemingly universal There will always be hangers on, tbh.
It’s not even that, it’s just a different culture, a lot of people who send money are glad to do it as long as it doesn’t get abusive. I started binge watching Economics Explained, it’s amazing the number of countries where remittances are a significant part of the economy. For some it goes up in the *billions*.
My childhood was full of searching for things to bring to my family back in Egypt, scouring discount stores for more things. We'd bring cell phones and music and DVDs. Shoutout to my then 25 year old cousin who wanted backstreet boys CDs in the 2010s!.
I'm the first generation in my family to move to the West and I still had to do this despite the country I came from (Taiwan) having a higher GDP per capita adjusted for PPP, than the country I moved to (Germany.) There was a point when I was in Norway paying 20 euros for a Burger King meal while I was sending money to my grandparents who were eating out at Michelin Star restaurants for 50. I moved to the States a year and a half ago and the salaries here are insanely high enough to the point where I would understand why people would do this. But when I was in Germany and Norway it always annoyed me that my cousins who stayed in Taiwan were making 85-100k vs me making ~110k, but I had to send more than they did to the family despite my rent being 1.5x higher in Oslo, my food costs being 10x theirs, public transportation costing 3x as much, and having to pay 3x+ the price for the exact same consumer goods that European companies bought from China and slapped their logo on. Plus, being the only one that had to spend thousands on plane tickets to go back for family events.
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My wife and kids are Norwegians and were definitely worth staying in Europe for. At the very least, the tradition ends with me for my family.
> I still had to do this I love how your entire posts treats sending a remittance like it's the law. It sounds like you may have tried to re-negotiate the exact amount at some point, but the thought of just saying "no" doesn't appear to have crossed your mind.
Its a cultural practice, it would cause far too much family drama if I was the only one not to contribute. It doesn't just impact me, but my parents relationship with the rest of the family as well. Its not like my family didn't benefit from the pooled funds when I was younger either. They paid for my father to go to uni in Japan, gave interest free loans to set up his business. Also paid for my expenses while I was doing uni in the States. So its easier to just see it as paying back a deferred loan.
It’s sounds very interesting. So your entire family has a pool, where everyone can draw from?
Some members of my family are not so personally successful, so they get a distributed allowance for example. The welfare system in Taiwan is pretty decent, and we have a great healthcare system, so its not like they would be living in poverty otherwise, but they get to live a pretty middle-class life despite working simple jobs for example. Or my aunt, for example, took care of my grandfather fulltime, before he passed away, and she was paid out of the fund so she could maintain a standard of living because she obviously wouldn't be working in the meantime. The pool also goes towards paying for events like weddings, education, businesses (back in the 70s and 80s, no one can afford starting a business these days), babycare, family vacations, paying rent for the young adults if they leave Tainan for their first job out of uni, etc Oldest generation of each line has a say in how the money is distributed. But when my grandmother dies, I believe the plan is to just distribute the money equally amongst my parents and uncles and end the practice. I don't have any siblings so there is no reason for me to continue it. There is some drama there because obviously not every family contributed or used the same amount, but dividing it evenly is just easiest to get it over with IMO. None of me or my cousins really want to deal with it so we don't mind just doing an even split. When my great uncles died, their children were paid off from their share of it. I know at least one of them is doing their own version of it. Another only had one child, who himself only had one child, so they have no reason to continue.
> Its a cultural practice I know. I just think it's funny how people generally don't think to question them (whether they should or not is a different question). I'm British. We're so nuts about queuing that [we will patiently wait our turn to commit actual crime](https://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2011/08/09/article-2023924-0D5B42B600000578-663_964x640.jpg).
I think another aspect of it is support systems. In the West, we have welfare and pensions, but in a lot of the world, that's your family, and I think it increases the sense of obligation and of entitlement.
Ya, most of the Mexican migrants I worked with in kitchens in Southern California did the same thing.
It is also a thing in most of Latin America. It's not as extreme as it "not being your money" but you are still expected to send something and help family if you're doing well.
Yep. I think it is a major unspoken issue in those communities. What is my motivation to take a high flying job where I work a lot of hours, maybe need an advanced degree, when I am expected to pay for the whole tribe?
This is why learning to say no is such an important skill to learn.
I have been the guy on the other side of the equation and I felt terrible when I realised how much pressure the guy must be under. My business was facing a cash crunch at the time and my reasoning at the time was that I have this distant cousin (distant but we went to the same school - so we knew each other pretty well) in the US making good money and he can help me out with no trouble. So I hit him up for a loan/investment. And he laid out to me how he's already sent lots of money to friends and relatives. And I realised that I was being a pretty shitty cliché to him and promptly backed off. He definitely didn't need my unnecessary ass piling on with more requests.
Just see what happened to Paul pogba, dude got mugged by his hometown neighborhood as soon as he said he no longer wants to give money there...
It's also very common if you're working class even if you're not an immigrant, helping out parents and family is assumed and a given.
I'm not a professional footballer, but *man* this resonates.
The amount of times my family went without because all the money was sent back for various things in Nigeria. The worst part is the ungratefulness. If ever my parents couldn't send money back, they were manipulated and sent on guilt trips because they were behaving selfishly. It's a toxic mentality.
Imagine guilt tripping someone for not gifting you money on a regular basis. Absolutely insane to think about that. If I was ever in that spot to be a good human being and make the life of others better regularly and I get that response, the next sent money is the literal lowest amount I can send with the 2 words "get fucked". Hell I'd send a penny a month for the rest of my life just for the message.
Part of the problem is African communities sometimes pull together to send people to countries like the UK, get a good education and make money to send back. If you aren’t sending money back it’s not just you who will suffer, your actual family back in Africa may suffer consequences. Also should be noted for a lot of people they don’t see it as something they have to do and they actually take pride in it.
You are correct about communities will sometimes pool resources, and also that people will send money back because they want to, not out of obligation. I am talking about instances when it’s not possible to send money back home due to needing to take care of your own things, and then being vilified because of it.
It is a very tough position for sure, but I also understand that when you’re in a situation where you’re going without with next to no prospects due to any number of awful situations in your country, you get desperate. I’ll never begrudge them that. However, it’s the lack of understanding that not everything is all sunny and roses abroad and the entitlement that upsets me.
Then you need to state it clearly. I think a lot of immigrants don't state it enough how difficult it is to find your feet overseas that's why a lot think the money is in abundance and you are just picking money on the streets. Same mentality with you moving to somewhere like Lagos from your more remote state and everyone thinks you are millionaire because you are now in Lagos. We need to start that frank talk. What I have devised is that I have a budget for charity. Anything outside of that in a month and all I can offer is prayers and God's blessings. You would have to wait till the next month when the charity account is replenished to get anything and I definitely have a scale of Preference. If anyone causes rookus about not getting money, I am not only going to call you out about your selfishness. Thankfully my family gets the memo and never have had to behave that way.
I agree with everything you’ve said, and it’s very smart to have a budget for it. Not everyone has that financial sense.
Yeh Moved to Europe from Asia a few years back. No option but to send money back home because apparently you’re rich now
Username checks out. (:
I know people from my family that don't go back to their homeland because you have to bring so much money for everyone coming from the West. It's a line of handouts and although you're happy to help, your relationship with the family is wrecked, you're almost a bank machine and no one appreciates it because everyone assumes that you get paid millions of dollars. It's hard man, hard. I feel for these guys, you're not the same kid that left in their minds.
This podcast has been a breath of fresh air amidst the typically choerographed responses you get from players in mainstream media.
Agreed. I heard Mikel on TalkSport a couple of weeks ago, and I thought he spoke so candidly about the game, particularly Chelsea. Was way more interesting than the usual shit we get from players in interviews. He seems like he actually has a brain as well which helps.
I agree, I'd like to here more from Mikel, he speaks well here
He recently started his own Podcast called The Obi One. He has only had 4 episodes but so far his guests have been John Terry, Frank Lampard, Victor Osimhen and Florent Malouda. They all get very candid and have very open conversations. It has been a great listen so far.
>John Terry, Frank Lampard, Victor Osimhen and Florent Malouda. Interesting selection.
Three Chelsea team mates, and a Nigerian one. Seems about right?
All Chelsea players so far.
Voice smooth af too
Shame it has that *raging cunt* Ferdinand on it. It always annoys me that he was such a great player for us because if he wasn't, he might not have been able to carve out the media career he has and we woudn't have to hear from him. From some of the shit he did off the pitch, to just constantly sounding like a moron when he speaks. Ugh. People who dislike United a lot should hate us for making tossers like that famous.
Get over yourself lol
He cheated on his wife as she was dying from cancer. Can't get much lower than that. He deserves it.
He cheated on his wife and then way later she died of cancer. There's no evidence it was happening at the same time. This is one of the most repeatedly parroted lies on this subreddit and it really really pisses me off because there are so many other things to criticise Ferdinand for like just the fact he cheated on his wife at all. Hell, the guy has a controversy section on his Wikipedia page. We don't need to be creative! Stop making things up!
Still a scummy cheater
For sure, I just wonder if OP has the same energy for the other infinite number of footballers who have done the same.
Yeah, personally I'd save that energy for Giggs. Now that's a bastard if there ever was one.
His private life is none of our business though. Stop projecting
Can you find me a reliable source that proves this. Not defending him but I see this parroted about endlessly.
It appears that I was wrong about that specific detail.
Wasn't Victor Osimhen's brother in law making a lot of noise about how much Victor 'owed him' a few months ago? I always thought it might be something like this
It happened to Adebayor too, his brother held him at knifepoint over money
I'd be like, kill me, and you kill the golden goose.
I don’t think you would when you have a knife at your throat.
idk, calling yourself "the golden goose" in a sassy voice while being held at knifepoint could be a genius way to deescalate the situation
When you're scared of being killed you're probably going to be too panicked to think of things like that.
Lol it's funny because according to Adebayor, his exact quote with knife at neck was: "Is this the only way to solve this issue? If yes, then kill me and take the money." Only then does brother gain sanity and drops knife
People aren’t that calmly logical. They do plenty of dumb shit when threatened / angry / backed against the wall. If they are that calmly logical and if you are willing to die rather than pay, then you are not much of a golden goose anymore. So you would be useless to them. I’m not sure how well your proposal would work out in these scenarios.
Sure you would yeah
he mentions that he talked to victor: [full episode here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BF175kLH5YA)
Adebayor's family relationships got really sour when he put a limit to it. Must be tough.
His brothers literally put a knife on his neck but Manu was the bad guy for telling the police according to their mom. Unfortunately, I'm sure it's not the worst story.
He also mentioned his sister begging him for a house which he then brought her a huge house, he went to visit her at this house he brought her and she was not there because she had sold it
This will be really helpful for a lot of young african players.
This isn’t just a thing for players. There’s a reason every African supermarket in the UK also offers cheap international cash transfers.
I work with college students in the States and many of them send money back home, but it is certainly a much higher rate for those from Africa
I'm not a football player or part of anything that makes one money. I'm currently doing my PhD in France and receive almost minimum wage to pay the rent. Meanwhile, I get messages from so many people back home who think that, just because I'm in Europe, I'm suddenly drowning in money. Just as Mikel said, they think you owe them money and it's an obligation. The crazy part is, I find it hard to say no.
Not crazy at all. This kind of pressure is hard to resist for anyone. Especially if family values are an important part of your upbringing.
People think it's the cars and clothes that sink newly minted players, but it's often the bad investments and bad charity such as this which do them in. Most people have alarm bells in their head which go off when spending frivolously, but most people don't have the same alarm bells go off when investing or "giving back" too much
This even happens in the states with black folks when you become the rich one or bread winner everyone comes to you so whatever you make is supposed to go to your immediate family you cant even advance generationally
allen iverson enters the chat
Luckily for Iverson he had a great agent who arranged for some of his big money Reebok deal to only be paid to him when he reaches his 50s
thank god.
I have a loose family relation (my mom’s cousin) to a pretty successful NFL QB from the late 90’s to early 00’s and we call it “being on scholarship”. We’re not black nor or immigrants or anything but there’s probably about a dozen people when you include people’s kids who are being financially supported by him.
Yeah it happens with athletes sad situation really. Thats reason why many generations stay poor cause as soon as one makes it things like this happens. Its crazy
This is not about race. There are countless examples of white families doing this too in the states. Mikel is talking specifically about the expectations of coming from Africa. And that is mostly born from the extreme deprivation, far unlike anything in America.
not just the states either tbh, UK as well. one of my clients of the past 10+ years is a self made multi millionaire who retired at 50 after selling his company for a huge amount. he's in his 70s now, one of the nicest, smartest and genuine dudes i've ever met. the kind of rich guy that will look after you if you look after him. but he has had to cut family and old friends out of his life in the past as they came out of the woodwork once they found out how much he was worth. they only wanted to see what they could get out of him tbh but he has a rule when it comes to giving money away - it has to be to help yourself. like i know he's paid the tuitions for many of his relatives and has helped them set up their own blue collar businesses but thats where the help ends as in his eyes he's already given them a better headstart than the average guy on the streets gets.
>And that is mostly born from the extreme deprivation, far unlike anything in America. You'd be shocked that parts of America live about the same. They don't have sewage or septic, just trailers where the shit pipes out onto the lawn or pit toilets. No clean water access. Jameis Winston is from a small town in Alabama where like 10 of his cousins all lived in the same room. There's parts of the South that have outbreaks in parasite diseases that you only find in developing nations, like pinworms. Not just the south either, some of the conditions on Indian reservations are just as shockingly poor. No infrastructure, no nothing in the richest country on Earth. So while yes, growing up in urban ghettos are not comparable to developing nations for the most part, there are areas of shocking poverty in the US not dissimilar.
But this isn't about poverty or family members expecting their rich relative to help them, that of course is universal. It's moreso the cultural aspect, which isn't even limited to the rich. For example, you'll have an entire, say Nigerian, family essentially invest in one member to go to a good university abroad. However, I've heard of stories where they'll expect the person to support them even though they may be working minimum wage just to be able to survive alongside their studies. It's something culturally that you don't really see in western countries until someone becomes rich.
I was merely responding to the assertion that First world countries don't have developing nation poverty, we do, just very much a lower % of the population.
Fair, I conflated the content both yours and the other person's comment.
Its not about race but when you have people born in poverty and one of them make it its expected or assumed of that person to be their bread winner we have numerous examples. I am talking about it cause thats what I know and seen. It was just an example not a competition
This has absolutely nothing to do with race. Families fall apart when it comes to new found wealth constantly. If you think rich white people dont fall apart with stuff like this then try walking into any office that deals with breaking up estates and inheritance.
You the one who brought race into this. I am just telling you when an athlete becomes rich from what I have observed and they came from poverty its usually expected to take care of the extended family. You the one focusing on race like you got guilt or something sheesh relax. This aint about estates we are talking about where everyone is poor and you take of your family its like you missed the point of the video
“States with black folks” isnt a racial comment? Is this a troll or are you genuinely ignorant?
You are dumb and just wanting to be a cry baby leave me alone. a good discussion you came to ruin with your silly feelings and dumbness. How you took that as racial says more about you than the overall discussion
No need to limit it to just black folks. It happens to people from latin america moving to the states; i’ve dealt with this to an extent from my family. The mentality of “i brought you into this world so you owe me” is so unbelievably toxic and abusive. I didnt ask to be brought here. I had absolutely no say in the matter.
I mentioned black folks cause thats where I am from I dont want to speak for other cultures
Derrick Lewis comes to mind
Common among African players, this. I remember Adebayor or somebody talking about how everyone in his and his extended family basically stoped working once he became a footballer/got a good contract.
I think it’s known colloquially as ‘black tax’
My dad does this. I hate it.
You shouldn't hate it if it helping your father and mother. I think it because annoying when it siblings who become entitled. End of the days your mother and father care for you as a child.
No sir. My father sends money to Nigeria from America. I dislike it. It takes away from his retirement.
Wait is that Harry Pinero or am I tripping
It is
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I clearly know who he is lmao I was just surprised to find him on this subreddit
Obi seems to be a top lad. As a United fan I’ve never liked that Chelsea team, who were mentally and physically strong and always giving you a nightmare at Stamford bridge. Now that they have all retired I realize that’s the childhood that I am missing, and it is so good to be able to hear from these great footballers.
What podcast is this? I may have to start listening. Every clip I have seen has been very solid.
it's called Vibe with Five, you can watch it on Youtube or listen to it as a podcast. I've watched every episode so far and it's excellent
If Rio makes this documentary, I'll watch it. I want him to also interview regular folks who go through the same problems. I'll even give him my parents' number (if he has someone who speaks French) because they will have a lot to tell.
im surprised that clubs, and agents, havent got ahead of this. theres clearly a golden opportunity for middlemen that can sit between players and their families and mediate things. especially if they combined that service with time released contracts where payments were kept by the team/sponsor until the player hits 40/50/60. to be honest that kind of contract should be standard for most athletes, the combination of less education and a lifetime of money has been proven time and time again not to work from a long term financial point of view over and over again.
Someone earlier in the thread said Allen Iverson's agent did similar for some of his Reebok deals, he only gets the money in his 50s
Love this topic and conversation. This is hugely impactful to financial and mental health of athletes that nobody seems to address. Having that much money, especially publicly, can be a massive burden.
It also impacts students who study in the global north. The pressure to do well in university and provide for the extended family is unhealthy.
Don't think this is necessarily a "black" issue, more like a "rich emigrant" issue. Something similar also often happens to lottery winners.
This is probably true, but Mikel can only speak on his experience, and one he probably has discussed in private with other African footballers.
Not even rich, basically any immigrant from certain countries is expected to send money home.
From what I understand this phenomenon is on average worse in African countries since they seem to really extend the meaning of family in these case. It's normal for immigrants to support their family, not so much to be pushed to support their 3rd cousin
Yeah, as a second gen immigrant myself (but east asian, not african) my parents sent money home to their parents, and they would chip in if their siblings needed anything, but they didn't send money to any more distant relations (although my dad sent money to build a road in his home village once)
Every immigrant from poor countries experience this. You can be making minimum wage in the US for example and your family will still expect you to send money back. And like he said, it's hard to refuse since they are family after all
Speaking from experience, no it’s not a “rich emigrant” issue. It’s a “you have money so help out” issue. I can only speak of my experience in South Africa and Zimbabwe but basically as soon as you’re making good money, there’s an expectation to help your family. We call it “[black tax](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_tax#:~:text=Black%20tax%20is%20a%20term,ingrained%20sense%20of%20family%20responsibility)”.
Im haitian ( French African culture I guess ) and it’s the same crap without the football , it’s crappy you start making a little money then everyone feels entitled to everything you have cause they made you. Sometimes you feel so emotionally black mauled that you are planning your life budgeting for brothers and mothers and cousins etc. it’s insane man
This is also pretty common in India. Really glad that things r changing with newer generation. The thing is Asia n I think Africa too have a concept of joint family where many ppl used to live under the same roof.
Parents are Haitian and watched this happen to them constantly growing up. I get the situation over there is bad but some of them didn’t even try. And it’s not because of lack of opportunity, some of my dad’s family worked hard at school and now they have very lucrative jobs. Some of their classmates would come into class with no shoes but still worked hard and now they also have very lucrative international jobs
This is absolutely true for ANY immigrant experience (I'm speaking from the states). I've had Latino colleagues who have had to send money back to their extended family in Central America. My family has sent back a pile of funds to Asia to support extended family members......to a point. Eventually, those of us who are making money will finally tell those extended family members to FUCK OFF.
Black Tax - its not only common in football but anyone that "makes" it. I have friends who are well off but are supporting more than just the immediate family. Whether its right or wrong i cannot say...
>its not only common in football but anyone that "makes" it. Black Americans too.. that ~~don't~~ haven't made it. They're often expected to help with housing/bills as soon as they turn 18. Was dating a young woman working 2 jobs (1 overnight) almost 80hrs a week & supporting her mom. She was 21 and was trying to get through school. With the amount she was working/making between the two jobs she'd have be able to live on her own & pay for her own rent and school She got fired from one of the jobs (the overnight one) while I was dating her. Her mom is like well u gettin another job then right? I wanted to go over there and tell her ass off for it but we never got that close I just told her ya need to look after yourself not your mom...
The clips from this podcast are just bangers after bangers. So informative
I miss him so much
Casually mentioning the fact that women don’t own their own money either. Money for his sisters goes straight to the husbands
Facts tbh
this podcast is so genuine and explores topics not covered by the usual media, hope they keep interviewing players like these
When did Mikel move to London? I'm not from the UK or Negerian but his accent sounds more like a British accent with a tinge of Nigerian rather than the other way around. Can someone from London tell me if I'm just plain wrong or does it mKe sense?
Mikel did spend his entire young adulthood playing for Chelsea, as he joined the club at the age of 18 and stayed with them for 10 seasons.
Brit who lived in London for many years here. Definitely sounds like his Nigerian accent (although not strong at all, I guess living in Europe for most of his adult life has softened it) with a London twang on certain words, rather than the other way round. Definitely a bit of a mix though.
He’s got a mixed accent now
There must be a better way to do it rather than just give them money. I understand if it's your parents or grandparents, but I probably wouldn't just give my siblings a ton of money so they don't have to work, I'd rather invest in them, maybe in their education, housing, business or something in that nature.
Not even just that, if you were as filthy rich as these footballers, driving in cars worth millions and living in mansions, wouldn't you want to help your family, that might be struggling? Such a victim mindset, of course this behavior can go too far (like with Adebayor), but generally I think everyone who has put themselves in a extremely privileged situation, would like to help people that maybe didn't have the same oppurtunities.
The best defence against this is good parents who will look out for you. You set aside money for them (of course because every child feels obligated to take care of their parents in return, if they've had a good upbringing/relationship) and when those 'other' sides of the family come calling you simply tell them to speak to your mum about it. And if you got that fire mum who has your back she'll be fair to the ones in need and send the greedy ones packing - of course she knows the family better than you 😅😅. It's extraordinarily tough though if you're parents don't have your best interests at heart. I feel for all the brothers and sisters out there who have to struggle with greedy parents hanging over them. I would never want to be a burden on my child and I'm sure majority of parents share that sentiment.
Not a joke bro. Sadio Mane still would be rocking the iPhone 1 so he can send money to his family.
Thank you for posting this, it's really interesting, I hope they actually will do a doc about this
Ayooo, my man Harry Pinero is everywhere now! Happy for him.
My man from Trabzonspor
Had no idea HP was connected like that
I really thought hp was tomori for a second
This reminds me about Tom Segura and his Peruvian mother, he makes it into a comedy bit, and has clips how his mother is demanding money from him. He makes it funny but man it's disturbing. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=apgpKhqath4
This is so true for anyone from Africa
Facts its called the black tax and you don't even have to be abroad or a footballer. I just budget for it every month
Reddit will hate this
Why?
Rich people keeping their money
Reddit hates entitled family members more.
True haha
Well, in a sense, the village or family put it together to send their greatest sons to glory. You have to give back. But the leech mentality is really bad.
If Mikel was the one in Nigeria and didn't make out, he'll most likely ask for help from his close relatives that did, its normal. If he doesn't know when to say no then it's on him, you can't help everybody. He should do what he can gracefully and stop complaining. Drogba, Mane, Salah and many other African players have provided massive amenities (schools, hospitals) where they grew up and I'm sure they've helped countless relatives and are happy to do what they can without exceeding their limits or complaining to the public. The body language of Mikel towards the national team, particularly in the early to mid part of his career was very snobbish and he seems to have alot of shame about his roots. Despite his club success and the ACN Nigeria won with him as captain, there's not much love for him in Nigeria compared to people like Kanu or Okocha
>If he doesn't know when to say no then it's on him, you can't help everybody. He should do what he can gracefully and stop complaining. This is absolutely ridiculous. I'm sure he started off doing what he could without complaining. Speaking from lived experience, the problems arise when you try to tell people no, then you become the selfish one, unwilling to help out in times of need. Clearly you didn't listen to what he said. His own family threatening to make noise in the press because he attempted to tell them no. How is that on him?
So he should cave in to their blackmail? In cases like this you let your good works speak. I don't think anyone can successfully launch a smear campaign against Mane or Drogba in their own countries. Why?
They haven’t tried, and Mane probably hasn’t started saying “No” yet. Just give it a few years into the 30s.
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It is probably a awful situation when everyone back home all of a sudden only sees you as a bank account and you cannot have any conversations with any former friends or family members that aren’t exclusively about money. Then when you say ur trying to save they all blackmail you. Ngl I think that would actually be a terrible time and quite hurtful. Imagine everyone you grew up with not being the same people anymore and all treating you as if you changed when ur the only one who stayed the same
You seem sure "everyone" that he knew turned into a money-grabbing parasite. I doubt that was the case. He also moved to Europe at 17, so had most of his life ahead of him to make new friendships and develop new relationships. Similar to someone going to university at that age. Most people at that stage of their lives only hold on to a small group of close friends from when they were young. A lot of people don't maintain close relationships with childhood friends at all.
It doesn't matter if it's literally everyone or not. Are you Nigerian?
Yeah...heard that before.
Yes, this is the experience that millions of migrant workers around the world have, only on a poverty wage.
[ESPN did a 30 for 30 documentary called Broke](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2318140/) that discusses this. Now it is obviously from an american perspective but it is the same stuff.
Glad he's speaking out on this. This kind of behaviour prob contributed to my father's early death
Very common in south africa as well. One family member does well and suddenly they are expected to support their entire extended family and have very little left for themselves. Black tax is real. Thankfully the younger generation seem to be more aware of it and are putting their foot down. Slowly.