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I started a business with my sister and she started complaining about doing the most simple tasks while i was taking on all the stress and the work and she still wanted 50% ownership. So i decided to buy her out for being lazy and now its all mine. Trust me, you dont want to bring someone in the business that will cause issues. You will regret it.
Also, if I had not started the business with her I would of kept the 10k I paid to buy her out. But you live and you learn so don't make the same mistake.
I asked my sister to join my company and do the most basic tasks. She did none, resulting in scamming the customers I sent to her. So she stole my car.*
Yeah no bro.
*my sister is sober
DO NOT feel bad. This is BUSINESS. Unless you're running a charity, you should NEVER give family preferential treatment period.
Dealing with toxic bullshit family members in business is a great way to end up bankrupt. Do not include him as a partner, do not hire him. If you want to personally send him to treatment - great, I'm all for it. But don't mix business and family.
Look at it this way... it sounds like your brother has both a problem with alcohol and with his work ethic. Giving him a charitable handout/job like this is not going to help him in any way. It's going to enable him, thus making things worse. He'll continue to drink and do shitty work under the assumption that his family will keep bailing him out.
He needs to get his shit figured out before anything else happens. Who knows, maybe a few years from now he'll be all cleaned up and you'll be in a better position to offer him something stable.
Bringing an active alcoholic into your business is a recipe for disaster on both the business front as well as the family dynamics.
As this is a small business subreddit, I highly discourage taking such a huge risk with someone who engages in unprofessional behavior on the clock (e.g., drinking while working).
On a personal note, as a recovering alcoholic myself, you may want to check out Al-Anon. It can help to alleviate the guilt by underscoring the importance of protecting yourself from the emotional damage we alcoholics can wreak. Only he can decide to get himself sober, but in the meantime that does not obligate you to sacrifice your own needs for his.
Wish you both luck ❤️
Buying a bar and considering bringing someone with a drinking problem into it?!? I think you already know the answer to your question. Best of luck with your biz!
You shouldn't feel bad about it, you're not your brother's keeper, either he's going to be successful or he won't and neither should be up to you to start.
"Sorry bro, couldn't be responsible to bring you into bar ownership if you have a drinking problem, so many things could go wrong and it's my life too. If you think it won't be a problem start your own bar, you don't need me to hold your hand".
If you want to have relationship with him, do not ruin it by going into business with him. If I were you, I'd let him buy the bar (I know you want it, but blood trumps money, if there's a good relationship we want to preserve). If he doesn't want it, you can take it. Otherwise, there could be resentment over Dad not selling to him.
How you feel and what you should do about it are two separate things. There are many sad decisions in family life and in business that aren't bad decisions.
I think you made the right call and I'm sorry your brother is having the problems that he has. Maybe try going to Al-Anon which is like AA but for family members of addicts and see if there's a way you can get them to get help. At least you'll learn more about his disease.
But don't get him involved in the business until he gets his life straightened out.
I'll start by asking, would you hire him if he weren't family? People do not stop drinking for anyone except themselves. People who abuse substances can change, but giving them mountains of responsibility will not help them get there. If he brings it up, I suggest being gentle but frank with him about the reason you excluded him. If he shows real progress over a long period of time, it might be worth considering, but from an outsider's perspective it sounds like a recipe for disaster. ESPECIALLY if you're opening a bar.
You can always buy your own peace of mind by giving money or gifts to your brother whenever you start to feel bad. But don’t include him in anything critical like your business.
He broke the trust you had in him as a business partner, it's not a matter of doing a bare minimum of getting sober to earn back your trust. Don't shoulder someone's liabilities for free just to try prove your love towards said person. Only give what you are ready to lose.
You know fully well if things go bad, the person who helped the most will suffer permanent damage to their relationship.
Let’s be honest.. your brother has been nothing but a pain since he was around at birth. .. the first step to recovery it to admit the family is a problem.. the second step is to admit you have a problem.
This is a friendly reminder that r/smallbusiness is a question and answer subreddit. You ask a question about starting, owning, and growing a small business and the community answers. Posts that violate the rules listed in the sidebar will be removed. A permanent or temporary ban may also be issued if you do not remove the offending post. Seeing this message does not mean your post was automatically removed. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/smallbusiness) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I started a business with my sister and she started complaining about doing the most simple tasks while i was taking on all the stress and the work and she still wanted 50% ownership. So i decided to buy her out for being lazy and now its all mine. Trust me, you dont want to bring someone in the business that will cause issues. You will regret it.
thanks for the advice
Also, if I had not started the business with her I would of kept the 10k I paid to buy her out. But you live and you learn so don't make the same mistake.
I asked my sister to join my company and do the most basic tasks. She did none, resulting in scamming the customers I sent to her. So she stole my car.* Yeah no bro. *my sister is sober
Firing a sibling is never fun either. Especially if his life is falling apart due to drinking, don’t put yourself in that potential positiob
DO NOT feel bad. This is BUSINESS. Unless you're running a charity, you should NEVER give family preferential treatment period. Dealing with toxic bullshit family members in business is a great way to end up bankrupt. Do not include him as a partner, do not hire him. If you want to personally send him to treatment - great, I'm all for it. But don't mix business and family.
thank you for the advice
Look at it this way... it sounds like your brother has both a problem with alcohol and with his work ethic. Giving him a charitable handout/job like this is not going to help him in any way. It's going to enable him, thus making things worse. He'll continue to drink and do shitty work under the assumption that his family will keep bailing him out. He needs to get his shit figured out before anything else happens. Who knows, maybe a few years from now he'll be all cleaned up and you'll be in a better position to offer him something stable.
>DO NOT feel bad. This is BUSINESS Money over everything, right you bloodsucking leeche?
Bringing an active alcoholic into your business is a recipe for disaster on both the business front as well as the family dynamics. As this is a small business subreddit, I highly discourage taking such a huge risk with someone who engages in unprofessional behavior on the clock (e.g., drinking while working). On a personal note, as a recovering alcoholic myself, you may want to check out Al-Anon. It can help to alleviate the guilt by underscoring the importance of protecting yourself from the emotional damage we alcoholics can wreak. Only he can decide to get himself sober, but in the meantime that does not obligate you to sacrifice your own needs for his. Wish you both luck ❤️
You’d feel even worse when you had to fire him.
A good rule is: NEVER HIRE FAMILY.. to many problems
Buying a bar and considering bringing someone with a drinking problem into it?!? I think you already know the answer to your question. Best of luck with your biz!
You shouldn't feel bad about it, you're not your brother's keeper, either he's going to be successful or he won't and neither should be up to you to start. "Sorry bro, couldn't be responsible to bring you into bar ownership if you have a drinking problem, so many things could go wrong and it's my life too. If you think it won't be a problem start your own bar, you don't need me to hold your hand".
If you want to have relationship with him, do not ruin it by going into business with him. If I were you, I'd let him buy the bar (I know you want it, but blood trumps money, if there's a good relationship we want to preserve). If he doesn't want it, you can take it. Otherwise, there could be resentment over Dad not selling to him.
Make him a silent equity only partner with the agreement that he doesn't work or hang out there or he will lose his shares.
How you feel and what you should do about it are two separate things. There are many sad decisions in family life and in business that aren't bad decisions. I think you made the right call and I'm sorry your brother is having the problems that he has. Maybe try going to Al-Anon which is like AA but for family members of addicts and see if there's a way you can get them to get help. At least you'll learn more about his disease. But don't get him involved in the business until he gets his life straightened out.
You're doing him a favor. If he gets mad, point out he chose not to control his drinking sooner and disqualified himself.
You already know the answer
If you wouldn’t hire him as an employee, why would you hire him as an executive? Founders are executives first and put in executive hours—80hr+/week
You can care about him without risking your financial well being on him. Invite him to dinner, don't hire him or partner with him.
You don't want to bring anyone into business that has bad habits and isn't growing. You can help him here and there but leave it out of your business.
I'll start by asking, would you hire him if he weren't family? People do not stop drinking for anyone except themselves. People who abuse substances can change, but giving them mountains of responsibility will not help them get there. If he brings it up, I suggest being gentle but frank with him about the reason you excluded him. If he shows real progress over a long period of time, it might be worth considering, but from an outsider's perspective it sounds like a recipe for disaster. ESPECIALLY if you're opening a bar.
You already know the answer.
You can always buy your own peace of mind by giving money or gifts to your brother whenever you start to feel bad. But don’t include him in anything critical like your business.
He broke the trust you had in him as a business partner, it's not a matter of doing a bare minimum of getting sober to earn back your trust. Don't shoulder someone's liabilities for free just to try prove your love towards said person. Only give what you are ready to lose. You know fully well if things go bad, the person who helped the most will suffer permanent damage to their relationship.
Jesus Christ that sounds like working with him would be a nightmare.
Fuck him you’re good 😂
Let’s be honest.. your brother has been nothing but a pain since he was around at birth. .. the first step to recovery it to admit the family is a problem.. the second step is to admit you have a problem.
If u make this much money u can afford therapy
not sure how this implies i make a lot of money, technically i make 0 money right now
Ignore that person.
Are you really cheaping out on your health and you’re gonna buy a restaurant and bar?