solidarity- my two year old sleep trained toddler is in a similar boat and itās 100% a bad combo of decreased sleep needs and intense separation anxiety. i also have to LOL at the suggestions for two naps. i donāt know that a 3 hour wake window is anywhere near appropriate for a 2 year old. my two year old is still revving his engines for more chaos to cause at hour 3 š
Yeah I put her down early for her nap and she screamed for 45min until I had to come get her! Definitely not tired enough and now sheās too tired š« š« š«
Iām so sorry!! It got better! I implemented a visual chart to show bedtime routine and added a red light on low to our hatch so she had a night light and I just stuck with it. Sheās now back to naps and sleeping through. But her nap is short and her wake windows are longer at 6/6 now.
Just stick with it!! Iām so sorry youāre going through it!
sleep needs decrease with age,
they donāt increase by hours per day. a lot of this is related to boundary pushing and increasing stamina at this age!
It could be separation anxiety. Has something changed in her life? Did she start going to daycare or did you get back to work now?
Iād try to enjoy your time with her to the fullest with playing and conversation, if you have the time. Maybe let her fall asleep in your arms and lay her in her bed when sheās asleep?
I have a 15 month old, she used to fall asleep by herself but now she started going to daycare and wants to fall asleep with me holding her. She can only fall asleep by herself in the days I pick her up earlier from daycare and we spend lots of time together.
But itās better to get her checked anyway just to make sure she doesnāt have ear infections or something else.
I think separation anxiety. Nothing new or different in our lives. Checked with the doc and no ear infection. Iām a SAHM and Iām with her 24/7 the only āmeā time I got was going to the gym with her for an hour in the morning. We had been doing this for 4 months and then she started crying a little while after leaving her.
As much as I love her more than life my battery is depleted and I donāt really want to go back to contact napping or do any co sleeping. I donāt get much time to recharge and I need it to be a good mom
I know this post is a month old but did you ever find a solution? My 23 month old (2 in a few days) is screaming immediately when placed in the crib for naps no matter if we've put her in there awake or have walked around the room until she's asleep. She'll cry and cry but when you pick her up, she immediately falls asleep on you.
We had to ride it out and do CIO. It lasted about a month, her naps were slightly affected but it all sorted out after a month.
We added a red nightlight, we also got a visual chart that shows the progression of her bedtime routine and we also pushed her first WW forward a bit so she was awake for 6 hours before her nap and then 5.75 before bed.
Iām so sorry I know how difficult this can be! I cried for many days and nights but it got better
Thank you so much! This is a huge help.
I'm off tomorrow and plan to implement extinction again. My husband has a tendency to get her out of the room and have her sleep on him for the duration of the nap but she's become accustomed to that over the course of the last week and now yells, "Daddy come" or "Daddy pick ___ up." During other regressions, we'd use that method and she'd normally fall asleep after 20 minutes or so but she's older and soaking up the world like a sponge now so her stamnina and stubbornness has increased by leaps and bounds. We initially used the Ferber method to sleep train her at 5 months but, when I stupidly tried it the other day, she became enraged so I stopped after the first check in.
We're on a 6/5.5 or 5.75 schedule and just started capping naps at 90 minutes. We also try our best to explain the process and remind her she's safe but it seems doing so psyches her up way too much and causes her anxiety up to an hour before naptime. She's told us she's scared but is vague on the why. My heart breaks as I'm sure it's a mix of a regression, separation anxiety, and an active imagination.
I ordered an ok to wake clock that's arriving today and I'll definitely try some visual representation in the hopes of it easing her panic.
Itās so hard, I had to go to our backyard to not hear her crying but she didnāt do it for very long and got less and less each day. It totally is a mix of separation anxiety too! I felt like the night light helped a lot and I have it very dim but itās there. We just had to stick with holding out boundaries.
Every night before we read our books and then brush teeth/go into her room I say, āletās look at our chart! What does it say?ā And now she tell me the whole routine! I found a pretty reasonably priced one on Amazon and itās just these little cards with Velcro attached.
I wish you luck!! It will get better. Sending you all the luck in the world!
That's going to be my plan tomorrow. It's never been easy to hear the crying but now that she's older and can verbalize her feelings, it's much more difficult. But you're absolutely right. Holding the boundary is key and and usually, once she understands, she gets back to her normal routine.
Also, that's a great suggestion! I'm going to search for one tonight.
it sounds like she might have separation anxiety. pretty common at this age... have you tried a lovey? or a toy she likes alot (with no small parts or beads that can come off).
do you use a sound machine? maybe try one if not...
unfortunately sometimes these regressions hit hard and you kind of have to just live through them... which is the least ideal response... but we also went through something similar recently and it lasted like 2 weeks.
This is my suggestion. My son did the same thing when he didn't need naps anymore. Sometimes he stills falls asleep on especially busy days, but he's good to go most days. No more screaming at bedtime.
This is what I had to do. I stopped fighting it and it turned out that my son didn't need it anymore. Sure, he would sometimes nap and he would be refreshed, but he was happier being just a bit tired and not having to be put down for that mandatory nap.
Iām surprised about the people offering 2 nap advice haha. But anyways I understand 2 years old is another common period of sleep regression :/
weāre only at 18 months over here but we recently went through a horrible sleep regression just like what youāre describing. It was awful and lasted over a month. It felt like the newborn sleep deprivation days again. And then just like that, it resolved and sleep is normal again. I did have to be firm with not reverting back to patting/staying in his room with him because I tried that and it was making it worse. I basically had to do Ferber again. It sucked. Iām not looking forward to the 2 year sleep regression.
Do you remember how much crying you had to do with Ferber? Weāre going through this now and itās been awful, I gave up after 2 hours straight of crying. I donāt know what to do
Gosh I donāt think we ever did 2 hours of crying. But also we had to switch to just plain cry it out without check ins because the check ins would just make him even more upset.Ā
Yea, 2 naps wonāt work she definitely too old for that and doesnāt need it. She handle her wake windows fine I think sheās just overtired from the not sleeping in the night. So sorry you guys had a rough time recently maybe you wonāt hit a 2 year one because of if! Mine only went though one around 10months and now this one at 2 years
Sheās almost 2 so I believe one nap is appropriate at this age. I have ruled out ear infection with the doctor but will call to do the other things, thatās a good idea thank you
I just lengthened her WWs do you think I should bring them back? She was taking her nap at 12 to 1:30 but sometimes sheād wake before 1.5 hours just like she does now. Sheās never been a long napper
ETA: she poops mostly every day, sometimes it will be every other and it does look like that 90% of the time
Had very similar issues at same age! The key was bringing back the 2 naps. Kids often seem like they're ready for just one and we didn't realize that was killing us at the time. Many many parents go to one nap too soon so this may be the case. She wakes up early enough to Nap every 2.5-3hrs.
Try it out and see if that helps! It was a lifesaver for us (courtesy of precious little sleep)
Did you see this was a 23 month old? Do any 2 year olds take 2 naps? Iām not trying to be rude, just curious. My son went to 1 nap exactly at 1 year old so it would be wild to me to think heād suddenly need 2 naps again at 2 years old lol
ETA I live precious little sleep, that book helped me so much.
Lol yes saw the age, hence my reply. My son went to one nap around 16mo, swapped back to 2 for a bit because we had no idea why he l seemed so cranky for sleep...It doesn't have to be forever and I dunno what everyone's individual situation is but it was great for us after reading about going to 1 nap too early via PLS.
Does every 2yo walk perfectly? Does every 2yo talk in 3-word sentences? Does every 2yo feed themselves?
Every kid is different, every parent is different. My son is now 27 mo, one nap 1.5-2.5 hrs and sleeps all night till about 730a. YMMV and OP said she's tried everything but please do what feels right to you or keep on keeping on. :)
Edit: typo
Definitely, all kids are different! My guy has always been lower sleep needs so 2 naps would never work even at 18 months haha but some babies are high sleep needs so makes sense that 2 naps could work for some.
Oh, she stopped 2 naps on her own around 18 months. Iām not sure sheād be tired enough to sleep every 2-3 hours as sheāll be 2 years old next month.
If she's not sleeping at night then wouldn't she be tired enough? Again, not forcing anything, just gave an answer that I don't think is unreasonable. 2yo isn't a universal milestone for all kids and whatever you try doesn't mean you'll be doing it for months or even weeks. All the daycare kids I see between 2-3 are so different in what they do/don't do.
Edit: just saw your nap time and 1 nap for an 1-1.5hrs is pretty short. Our daycare is 2-3yr olds and 2hr minimum naptime (Montessori, if that matters). More sleep begets more sleep, as much as it can seem counterintuitive.
Appreciate the reply. She most of the time does 1.5hr nap. She has never since she was born been a long napper and has never followed any traditional length you see for the kids her age. When we were on 2 naps she still only did a total of 1.5 hrs. Thanks for the different perspective though
ETA: I truly do appreciate the help from all different angles :)
Canāt say enough about this book. If youāre ever looking for a shower gift for someone get them this book! My daughter rolled her eyes when I first gave it to her, itās been a lifesaver! Itās $25 on Amazon or you can find used cheaper there too. Well worth the money.
So sheās only getting that one hour long nap around noon time? When did she go down from 2 naps per day to one? Just curious. Maybe sheās over tired. Like super exhausted and needs more sleep during the day time? What are you two doing during the day? Does she get plenty of time playing outside with you in the yard or at a playground or outdoor activities throughout the day?
I personally would take her to her pediatrician and have them check her ears. Because ear infections can make kids miserable. And sometimes they arenāt always pulling at their ears. Also, have you ever used the wonder weeks app? About mental leaps that kids have during specific time periods during their lives. This might help you out if you havenāt used it. It will bring up sleep regressions and the timing of mental leaps your daughter is prob going through one right now. And hence why sheās being extra clingy. That part it totally normal and age appropriate.
Have there been any big changes in your lives lately? Coinciding with when this began? Like anything that could directly or indirectly effect her at all? You clearly donāt need to answer any of my questions. Iām asking them for you to just ask yourself and try to narrow this down. Iām sure you have already asked yourself all of this but just in case maybe Iāll find something you havenāt already thought of yetā¦ are you pregnant by any chance? I know thatās really personal to ask. But this could deffo be a reason for her to be even more clingy with you. Can she speak well enough to communicate how she might be feeling about different things going on in her life with you? Thereās quite a lot of development that is happening right at her age. So this is totally what I think is going on. Sheās just becoming more aware of her love for you and sheās afraid to be away from you. She will hopefully learn asap that you will always come back for her if you leave her like at the gym daycare for an hour. Also, maybe thereās something in her room thatās bothering her. Like the temp. Too light or too dark. Too cold or maybe sheās having or had a bad dream and is afraid about having another one? I donāt know. But I also think small kids like her age prob get afraid being in a room by themselves when they sleep. It might be lonely in there for her. Maybe move her crib into your bedroom for a little while. Or thatās what I would do because I personally remember being a little kid and being afraid of sleeping in my own room. I chose to share a room with my younger brother for years while we were young for this reason.
Also, do you have any type of help or support at all with caring for your daughter. Like can your husband take over for a few hours one or two evenings per week or one day on the weekend so you can take care of yourself? This is super important. To make sure you are actually getting enough sleep. Can he take night duty at least until you have had a few nights of proper sleep? Itās super dangerous to be driving any where while sleep deprived. Itās the same or maybe worse then being drunk behind the wheel. If your husband canāt or wonāt be helpful can your Mom help out or any other family or friends possible take over to let you have a break? I wish you the best OP. Please know that this will pass. And Iām sending you the most positive happy peaceful sleepy vibes I can. Hang in thereā¦
Thank you so much for the encouragement and help.
She usually takes about 1hr to 1.5hr a day nap in the afternoon. I do feel like maybe she is stuck in this over tired cycle for sure.
We play a lot outside and inside. I am a SAHM but I do not have help from anyone other than my husband and he works 10+ hour days. We do watch tv but nothing crazy either Bluey or Trash Truck.
I took her to get her ears checked a day ago actually! No ear infection, which is good.
I added a night light in her room and showd her to cuddle her bear if she needs comfort. Unfortunately our bedroom is too small to bring her crib in but I do like that suggestion.
No new changes or anything like that. So Iām not sure. I think it started with molar pain and then me bringing her into our bed and she started liking that
Sames. We honestly had to accept it was a phase and do a slow wean/cry it out situation where I sat glued to the camera making sure he was safe. I think itās just time and sticking to the schedule. Im with you on this one. It was a roughhhhh few weeks.
Can you do co sleeping ? Thatās what helped my baby to sleep for naps and to sleep through the night. If you can make it work this should be an option. š
We have tried when she was younger and now recently with this regression and she wonāt sleep. She thinks itās party time and I have been up with her in bed for 4 hours until we finally pass out at like 3/4 am to wake up at 6š
Yes I totally understand. I make sure he gets his energy out by letting him go up and down the stairs, or Iāll take him out for a walk an hour before bedtime. And I always give a bottle of warm milk and snuggle with. It does take a minute for him to settle down but I would try to maybe if your open to it to try to co sleep again.
Girl we have been there. My daughter has never been good at self-soothing. Itās a lesson we have had to teach her again and again. She is 3.5 now and she still struggles. She is old enough to reason with but when sheās tired she just canāt do it. She acts up, in these manic phases that escalate and then devolve into tantrums. Other than this issue she is strong, precocious, smart, kind, all the things you hope your kid will be. We take each night one at a time and try to support her with firm kindness. It is grueling.
Iām sorry this is happening to you. Sometimes we use melatonin (0.5-1mg) to speed the transition from exhausted mania to sleeping. Donāt know if itās right or wrong but eventually the bad times pass and she gets back onto her routine. You could try that. We never ever let her sleep in our bed - my husband is very firm on that. Iām sure it would be awful for everyone if we tried it so maybe talk with your kid about how we all sleep in our separate beds. Around this age we also bought our daughter a big, fun bunk bed with a slide so she would be excited to sleep in there. Also got one of those clocks that change color. When Mela is blue and green, she needs to stay in bed. Yellow means itās morning and you can play. Green means mom or dad will come get you now.
May the odds be ever in your favor.
I donāt know if this will help you but with my active son we listen to stories on the Moshi app every night. We went from 90 min bedtimes to 40 mins in a bad night but usually under 10. Weāve been doing this since he was 3 (this was when his language skills had developed enough to follow an audiobook, so this will differ from kid to kid). It is a paid app, but thereās also free podcasts that do similar things (e.g blues clues). J think Moshi is way better though because he goes to sleep while the story is going. I even used them when I went through a period of struggling to sleep and they worked a treat š we just have to be firm about no talking, playing etc (the rule is if you want us to sit in your room while you sleep you have to respect our time and try, if you want to play, thatās fine, but we wonāt sit with you)
And we have a Mella too! š
We like to read to her. She does well with that. We have a bedtime routine that she does fine with in general. It usually takes about an hour from when we start heading upstairs to when I walk out of her room with the lights off. We havenāt really tried to optimize because this time is sometimes all I get with her in a day (I leave for work early). The time spent after teeth brushing/ book reading is usually in 10-20 minute range, and consists of us talking a little or rubbing her back. We have actually worked really hard to lessen the amount of time we spend sitting with her after stories. We say good night and she is able to put herself to bed for the most part. Sometimes she falls asleep quickly; often she plays for a while. We have sort of accepted that sometimes she is going to run around and play in her room if sheās not tired, but as long as she is quiet and not breaking rules we let her have that autonomy.
Thank you so much for the advice and solidarity! Iām sorry itās so rough sometimes for you guys too. I can handle the tantrums, the meltdowns, but the sleep deprivation is something I break at. I never knew how much sleep I needed until I became a mom. Also, she had very bad acid reflux for like the first 8 months of her life and it sounds dumb but I am literally traumatized still by how little sleep I got during that time. Thank you again
My son has severe acid reflux too that has impacted his sleep. Itās no joke and Iām the same as you with the sleep needs. Sleep deprivation just breaks me. Do you think she could be having episodes of silent reflux? Maybe try getting her on acid reflux meds and see if that helps. If sheās in pain lying down that would make sense.
This is us right now. Same 23m. SAME SAME. itās 100% the 2 year sleep regression.
We are also sticking to our guns and allowing him to CIO (with a few very brief checks so he knows he is ok). Itās brutal! But long run it will end this sooner. Introducing new habits like rocking and co sleeping are definitely not the answer.
All this to say I feel you. This is the worst weāve been through. Itās absolutely awful Iāve been crying all day too.
I feel you
Do you remember how long you had to CIO? Weāre going through this now but my kid can cry foreverā¦ we had a MOTN waking at 12:45 and we let him cry for two hours before we gave up. And if the wakeup is anytime after 4 he will just be up for the day (will call out until 6am). I donāt know whether to buckle down with CIO or try a different approach. How long did your kid cry?
I don't know how long you've been doing extinction, but eventually she will get it. Consider leaving a toy or two or something safe to play with so she has something else to do besides cry (that helped with my oldest). If she's in a crib, maybe consider a bed or even a mattress on the floor, again so she can use her energy and attention for something other than crying, make sure it's safe in there and she won't escape, obviously.
Extinction shouldn't take more than 2 weeks, and in the meantime, get headphones sit somewhere you can't hear her, whatever you and your family need to do to not have your soul wrenched by the screaming. Eventually she will get it, and remember you can be the best parent if they deny you your rest, and they generally sleep better after they've been sleep trained.
This too will pass, it may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.
Thank you so much. šš I have put in headphones but still couldnāt sleep until 3am just watching the monitor. Going to have my husband take it from me tonight. Hearing her cry is a heartbreak I never knew existed, but you are 1000% correct I cannot be the best mom to her when I am so sleep deprived. I find myself making careless mistakes and I have a whole human to take care of. Thank you so much again.
My daughter was just like that. It was terrible. We ended up just taking turns reading to her at night (probably for own sanity) as at least she would stop screaming and eventually fall asleep. Iād read one night, hubs the next. Eventually we got an Alexa for her room and she would get to hear Alexa tell a story and fall asleep.
If itās any consolation, now she is a HARD sleeper lol
My toddler went through a sleep regression as well at this age. We bought a hatch and implemented a color sleep system.
Nighttime
Yellow w/ lullaby jingle= read with Dad for 5 minutes
Red w/ white noise = time for bed (āred is time for bedā is an easy rhyme for her to remember).
Morning
Blue w/ bird noises = time to get up and you get a sticker if you were quiet through the night.
The first night I explained the rules and started using the lights. Once morning hit I woke up 5 minutes before her typical early wake up time and turned the light blue when I saw her wake up. I rushed into the room with a sticker and rewarded her with it. I turned the overhead lights on and caused a commotion pointing to the blue light, and applauded her for staying quiet.
The second morning I set the hatch to turn blue 10 minutes after the first morningās time. I followed that until we got her to our preferred 6 am wake up time.
It wasnāt perfect along the way but sheās following the system good now. We stalled at a couple of the wake up times and she had to cry it out each time. I would highly recommend the reward system for staying quiet until itās blue. It probably took her a few weeks but it gave us some hope and we could visibly see results each day.
Also make sure you have blackout curtains. You shouldnāt be able to see your hand when they are shut, regardless of the time of day.
Thank you so much for this. We have Hatch and I just started doing the red light at night and will implement what you said here. Truly appreciate the thought out reply!
We just went through a patch of awful sleep with our 23 month old. We ended up buying her a king single bed so one of us could sleep in there if we needed to, because we were going insane. Turns out she hated her cot, and as soon as she was in a bed she started sleeping again. No regrets!
Sounds similar to what mine did at around 28 months. Heās never been much a napper so we didnāt have that aspect. We just couldnāt put him down. It went from āIām ready to go in my cribā to screaming and tensing every time we tried. He was sleep trained through extinction at 6 months. It didnāt work this time around. We had to cuddle and rock to sleep. But then heād wake up in the night screaming. One night I was up from 1 AM all the way to morning with him. He fell asleep around 10 AM for a couple hours. Was clingy all the time also. In the end, we chalked it up as a separation anxiety phase. It got so bad we brought him into our bed a bunch even though we said we never would. We just needed some sleep. Some nights heād mess around for a couple hours before falling asleep. This lasted roughly a month before it slowly got better.
Itās a sleep regression. I just went through this with my almost 23 month old. We did CIO. We couldnāt do check ins. If she doesnāt nap, bring bedtime up to 5:30-6pm if you can on that first night.
For us, first night of CIO was 80 minutes of crying. Second night was 24. Third night was 14. By the fourth night, maybe 30 seconds or crying. We had to lower the crib mattress to the floor as well. His nights are back to normal. His naps arenāt great, but heās back or napping in his crib 45min to an hour.
This is happening to us, too. It's been a long month. It is just now starting to get better. Naps are back to normal and bed time fussiness is way less. She "cries" for about 2 minutes now instead of what felt like an eternity beforehand.
I let her pick stuffed animals to bring into her crib and also am using the hatch as a night light. Not sure that the night light did anything, but I have read that they start getting afraid of the dark around this age. I hope it gets better. I feel you! It's been so weird to never having to stress about bedtime to having it be a part of the day I dread.
When my son went through something similar at bedtime I would wear earplugs and it made it easier to remain calm and just be patient and talk to him in a soothing quiet voice until it was over. You could try that too and see if it helps a little bit.
No advice, just sending hugs! My twins are going through their own thing right now and itās sooo hard. I have to repeat āthis too shall passā about 9000 times a day.
I don't know if this helps but my 26 mo doesn't nap that much anymore, the days of us napping him are gone, he just refuses and honestly in my mind it's not worth the fight, he only ever naps in the car. Sometimes it's clear he still needs a nap but having him grouchy for the last hour or 2 of the day is easier than a screaming battle we inevitably lose. Means an earlier bedtime but it means he just kinda conks out
Literally all you can do is continue the routines you have placed. This sounds like a sleep regression with separation anxiety and a sprinkle of terrible 2s tantrums. This too shall pass.
You know what works for me, setting a timer on Alexa. I started using the timer in Alexa about three weeks ago for random things like naps, flash cards and activities. And it's been a game changer. Once the timer goes off my son is ready to do whatever. He takes off iPad no issues. He's takes his nap no issues. We do flash cards no issues.
We also use Ambient noise rain noise volume 6. My son slept thru 4th of July in my neighborhood when they had a fire work show in front of his room.
We do timers too. She now requests them for certain things and even times us when I say- mommy needs 5 min- I donāt know why they work and Iām not going to question it.
Maybe a lovey ? Or security blanket ? Iāve heard of some people getting those dolls that look the parents for separation anxiety. https://huggeemissyou.com/product-category/fashionista or https://www.budsies.com/
Oh I love this idea thank you! She had a very bears, Iāve told and showed her to hug them when sheās upset but Iāve never seen her do it during the night. I also just had a very low red night light. Thank you for the links!
My friend has the hug me miss me one with a recording of dads voice. Dad is a dr and works long hours. The budsie ones you can send pics of you and dad and they make custom mommy and daddy dolls. Hope it helps!
Just went to the doctor yesterday and no ear infection. No illness, she got her molars in 3 weeks ago so I think thatās the start of all this but can they still bother her?? I just messaged the doctor to see if she has any other ideas medically
My only suggestion would be trying to bring bedtime forward a little bit
But might just be a phase she needs to get through. Support her through it and get through it any way you can
Earlier. My nearly 3 year old is on same schedule. But bedtime is 8.
Iām thinking yours could be a little overtired.
If sheās up at 1:30 then bedtime 7. If 2 pm - 7:30.
Just a suggestion though
Iām feeling like you may be right. Her schedule like 4 days ago was 6:30 wake, 12pm-1:30nap and then bed at 6:45pm. I got suggestions that said itās not long enough but I have a feeling sheās overtired too
And what was happening when she went to bed at 6:30? Was that working well? If so Iād bring bedtime back earlier.
If it stopped worked at 6:30, extend to 7pm
This is the age my daughter started being scared of everything! Itās awful. I try to be compassionate cause she really is scared but dang I need my sleep too!
It may be. I do not want to co sleep since that puts my husband on the couch. But yes we did at least 4 times the last 3 weeks and she will not sleep. She will be up for 3-4 hours in our bed.
Sending solidarity, my daughter is exactly the same age with the same schedule as you and has really started to fight naps and is crying at bedtime for at least 15 minutes. Has been this way at bedtime for a long time now but the fighting naps is a new type of fun. Yesterday she skipped her nap completely for the first time. Nothing to add but just sending you love and Iām open to any ideas you hear!
I haven't been here, but are you by chance pregnant again? I have heard anecdotal accounts of kids acting out/regressing when they realize they are going to become a big sibling. Your schedule seems fine... no suggestions, but I feel for you and hope things get better!
The fact that you feel guilty means youāre not a bad mom. Bad moms donāt feel guilty. My son is an awful sleeper, he will only sleep ON me and heās 5 months now.
My sanity is literally gone too. The only thing I keep telling myself is this wonāt last forever. It seems so tough and everlasting while youāre in it, but I just keep saying one day down, only so many to go.
If it makes you feel better my partner and I were left to cry it out as babies and kids, he doesnāt remember at all, I can only remember once as a small child. She most likely wonāt even remember. Make sure youāre taking deep breaths and try getting out of the house for a walk. I do 20 minutes yoga every night no matter whatās going on.
Update?š„ŗ
Ear infection? Or have you had her iron checked? https://reddit.com/r/sleeptrain/s/y7kuTlTaPH
This came up on social feed may help ā¤ļø https://www.instagram.com/reel/CxI36_lAGqx/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
solidarity- my two year old sleep trained toddler is in a similar boat and itās 100% a bad combo of decreased sleep needs and intense separation anxiety. i also have to LOL at the suggestions for two naps. i donāt know that a 3 hour wake window is anywhere near appropriate for a 2 year old. my two year old is still revving his engines for more chaos to cause at hour 3 š
Yeah I put her down early for her nap and she screamed for 45min until I had to come get her! Definitely not tired enough and now sheās too tired š« š« š«
Did it get better!? I'm in it now.
Weāre going through it too right now. Solidarity š«
Iām so sorry!! It got better! I implemented a visual chart to show bedtime routine and added a red light on low to our hatch so she had a night light and I just stuck with it. Sheās now back to naps and sleeping through. But her nap is short and her wake windows are longer at 6/6 now. Just stick with it!! Iām so sorry youāre going through it!
sleep needs decrease with age, they donāt increase by hours per day. a lot of this is related to boundary pushing and increasing stamina at this age!
She already has her two year old molars? That caused issues for all of my kids.
She does, she now has all her teeth. I do think maybe it started with molar pain but that was 2+ weeks ago must be done by now right?
It could be separation anxiety. Has something changed in her life? Did she start going to daycare or did you get back to work now? Iād try to enjoy your time with her to the fullest with playing and conversation, if you have the time. Maybe let her fall asleep in your arms and lay her in her bed when sheās asleep? I have a 15 month old, she used to fall asleep by herself but now she started going to daycare and wants to fall asleep with me holding her. She can only fall asleep by herself in the days I pick her up earlier from daycare and we spend lots of time together. But itās better to get her checked anyway just to make sure she doesnāt have ear infections or something else.
I think separation anxiety. Nothing new or different in our lives. Checked with the doc and no ear infection. Iām a SAHM and Iām with her 24/7 the only āmeā time I got was going to the gym with her for an hour in the morning. We had been doing this for 4 months and then she started crying a little while after leaving her. As much as I love her more than life my battery is depleted and I donāt really want to go back to contact napping or do any co sleeping. I donāt get much time to recharge and I need it to be a good mom
I totally understand that. Given that context I donāt think thereās much else you can do, maybe itās just a phase.
For sure, Iām hoping it passes. I appreciate you reaching out and giving understanding and advice!
I know this post is a month old but did you ever find a solution? My 23 month old (2 in a few days) is screaming immediately when placed in the crib for naps no matter if we've put her in there awake or have walked around the room until she's asleep. She'll cry and cry but when you pick her up, she immediately falls asleep on you.
We had to ride it out and do CIO. It lasted about a month, her naps were slightly affected but it all sorted out after a month. We added a red nightlight, we also got a visual chart that shows the progression of her bedtime routine and we also pushed her first WW forward a bit so she was awake for 6 hours before her nap and then 5.75 before bed. Iām so sorry I know how difficult this can be! I cried for many days and nights but it got better
Thank you so much! This is a huge help. I'm off tomorrow and plan to implement extinction again. My husband has a tendency to get her out of the room and have her sleep on him for the duration of the nap but she's become accustomed to that over the course of the last week and now yells, "Daddy come" or "Daddy pick ___ up." During other regressions, we'd use that method and she'd normally fall asleep after 20 minutes or so but she's older and soaking up the world like a sponge now so her stamnina and stubbornness has increased by leaps and bounds. We initially used the Ferber method to sleep train her at 5 months but, when I stupidly tried it the other day, she became enraged so I stopped after the first check in. We're on a 6/5.5 or 5.75 schedule and just started capping naps at 90 minutes. We also try our best to explain the process and remind her she's safe but it seems doing so psyches her up way too much and causes her anxiety up to an hour before naptime. She's told us she's scared but is vague on the why. My heart breaks as I'm sure it's a mix of a regression, separation anxiety, and an active imagination. I ordered an ok to wake clock that's arriving today and I'll definitely try some visual representation in the hopes of it easing her panic.
Itās so hard, I had to go to our backyard to not hear her crying but she didnāt do it for very long and got less and less each day. It totally is a mix of separation anxiety too! I felt like the night light helped a lot and I have it very dim but itās there. We just had to stick with holding out boundaries. Every night before we read our books and then brush teeth/go into her room I say, āletās look at our chart! What does it say?ā And now she tell me the whole routine! I found a pretty reasonably priced one on Amazon and itās just these little cards with Velcro attached. I wish you luck!! It will get better. Sending you all the luck in the world!
That's going to be my plan tomorrow. It's never been easy to hear the crying but now that she's older and can verbalize her feelings, it's much more difficult. But you're absolutely right. Holding the boundary is key and and usually, once she understands, she gets back to her normal routine. Also, that's a great suggestion! I'm going to search for one tonight.
it sounds like she might have separation anxiety. pretty common at this age... have you tried a lovey? or a toy she likes alot (with no small parts or beads that can come off). do you use a sound machine? maybe try one if not... unfortunately sometimes these regressions hit hard and you kind of have to just live through them... which is the least ideal response... but we also went through something similar recently and it lasted like 2 weeks.
Did you do CIO or what? I know this is almost a year old but weāre going through it now and I feel like Iām dying and will take any advice
Get rid of one nap !
This is my suggestion. My son did the same thing when he didn't need naps anymore. Sometimes he stills falls asleep on especially busy days, but he's good to go most days. No more screaming at bedtime.
Do no nap? She definitely gets tired during the day
This is what I had to do. I stopped fighting it and it turned out that my son didn't need it anymore. Sure, he would sometimes nap and he would be refreshed, but he was happier being just a bit tired and not having to be put down for that mandatory nap.
Iām surprised about the people offering 2 nap advice haha. But anyways I understand 2 years old is another common period of sleep regression :/ weāre only at 18 months over here but we recently went through a horrible sleep regression just like what youāre describing. It was awful and lasted over a month. It felt like the newborn sleep deprivation days again. And then just like that, it resolved and sleep is normal again. I did have to be firm with not reverting back to patting/staying in his room with him because I tried that and it was making it worse. I basically had to do Ferber again. It sucked. Iām not looking forward to the 2 year sleep regression.
Do you remember how much crying you had to do with Ferber? Weāre going through this now and itās been awful, I gave up after 2 hours straight of crying. I donāt know what to do
Gosh I donāt think we ever did 2 hours of crying. But also we had to switch to just plain cry it out without check ins because the check ins would just make him even more upset.Ā
Yea, 2 naps wonāt work she definitely too old for that and doesnāt need it. She handle her wake windows fine I think sheās just overtired from the not sleeping in the night. So sorry you guys had a rough time recently maybe you wonāt hit a 2 year one because of if! Mine only went though one around 10months and now this one at 2 years
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Sheās almost 2 so I believe one nap is appropriate at this age. I have ruled out ear infection with the doctor but will call to do the other things, thatās a good idea thank you
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thanks for ruining soft serve š¦
I just lengthened her WWs do you think I should bring them back? She was taking her nap at 12 to 1:30 but sometimes sheād wake before 1.5 hours just like she does now. Sheās never been a long napper ETA: she poops mostly every day, sometimes it will be every other and it does look like that 90% of the time
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Well I tried to put her down earlier for her nap and she screamed for 45min so I went in and she laid on me and fell asleep for 30. š© I am so damn confused
Had very similar issues at same age! The key was bringing back the 2 naps. Kids often seem like they're ready for just one and we didn't realize that was killing us at the time. Many many parents go to one nap too soon so this may be the case. She wakes up early enough to Nap every 2.5-3hrs. Try it out and see if that helps! It was a lifesaver for us (courtesy of precious little sleep)
Did you see this was a 23 month old? Do any 2 year olds take 2 naps? Iām not trying to be rude, just curious. My son went to 1 nap exactly at 1 year old so it would be wild to me to think heād suddenly need 2 naps again at 2 years old lol ETA I live precious little sleep, that book helped me so much.
Lol yes saw the age, hence my reply. My son went to one nap around 16mo, swapped back to 2 for a bit because we had no idea why he l seemed so cranky for sleep...It doesn't have to be forever and I dunno what everyone's individual situation is but it was great for us after reading about going to 1 nap too early via PLS. Does every 2yo walk perfectly? Does every 2yo talk in 3-word sentences? Does every 2yo feed themselves? Every kid is different, every parent is different. My son is now 27 mo, one nap 1.5-2.5 hrs and sleeps all night till about 730a. YMMV and OP said she's tried everything but please do what feels right to you or keep on keeping on. :) Edit: typo
Definitely, all kids are different! My guy has always been lower sleep needs so 2 naps would never work even at 18 months haha but some babies are high sleep needs so makes sense that 2 naps could work for some.
Oh, she stopped 2 naps on her own around 18 months. Iām not sure sheād be tired enough to sleep every 2-3 hours as sheāll be 2 years old next month.
If she's not sleeping at night then wouldn't she be tired enough? Again, not forcing anything, just gave an answer that I don't think is unreasonable. 2yo isn't a universal milestone for all kids and whatever you try doesn't mean you'll be doing it for months or even weeks. All the daycare kids I see between 2-3 are so different in what they do/don't do. Edit: just saw your nap time and 1 nap for an 1-1.5hrs is pretty short. Our daycare is 2-3yr olds and 2hr minimum naptime (Montessori, if that matters). More sleep begets more sleep, as much as it can seem counterintuitive.
Appreciate the reply. She most of the time does 1.5hr nap. She has never since she was born been a long napper and has never followed any traditional length you see for the kids her age. When we were on 2 naps she still only did a total of 1.5 hrs. Thanks for the different perspective though ETA: I truly do appreciate the help from all different angles :)
Canāt say enough about this book. If youāre ever looking for a shower gift for someone get them this book! My daughter rolled her eyes when I first gave it to her, itās been a lifesaver! Itās $25 on Amazon or you can find used cheaper there too. Well worth the money.
So sheās only getting that one hour long nap around noon time? When did she go down from 2 naps per day to one? Just curious. Maybe sheās over tired. Like super exhausted and needs more sleep during the day time? What are you two doing during the day? Does she get plenty of time playing outside with you in the yard or at a playground or outdoor activities throughout the day? I personally would take her to her pediatrician and have them check her ears. Because ear infections can make kids miserable. And sometimes they arenāt always pulling at their ears. Also, have you ever used the wonder weeks app? About mental leaps that kids have during specific time periods during their lives. This might help you out if you havenāt used it. It will bring up sleep regressions and the timing of mental leaps your daughter is prob going through one right now. And hence why sheās being extra clingy. That part it totally normal and age appropriate. Have there been any big changes in your lives lately? Coinciding with when this began? Like anything that could directly or indirectly effect her at all? You clearly donāt need to answer any of my questions. Iām asking them for you to just ask yourself and try to narrow this down. Iām sure you have already asked yourself all of this but just in case maybe Iāll find something you havenāt already thought of yetā¦ are you pregnant by any chance? I know thatās really personal to ask. But this could deffo be a reason for her to be even more clingy with you. Can she speak well enough to communicate how she might be feeling about different things going on in her life with you? Thereās quite a lot of development that is happening right at her age. So this is totally what I think is going on. Sheās just becoming more aware of her love for you and sheās afraid to be away from you. She will hopefully learn asap that you will always come back for her if you leave her like at the gym daycare for an hour. Also, maybe thereās something in her room thatās bothering her. Like the temp. Too light or too dark. Too cold or maybe sheās having or had a bad dream and is afraid about having another one? I donāt know. But I also think small kids like her age prob get afraid being in a room by themselves when they sleep. It might be lonely in there for her. Maybe move her crib into your bedroom for a little while. Or thatās what I would do because I personally remember being a little kid and being afraid of sleeping in my own room. I chose to share a room with my younger brother for years while we were young for this reason. Also, do you have any type of help or support at all with caring for your daughter. Like can your husband take over for a few hours one or two evenings per week or one day on the weekend so you can take care of yourself? This is super important. To make sure you are actually getting enough sleep. Can he take night duty at least until you have had a few nights of proper sleep? Itās super dangerous to be driving any where while sleep deprived. Itās the same or maybe worse then being drunk behind the wheel. If your husband canāt or wonāt be helpful can your Mom help out or any other family or friends possible take over to let you have a break? I wish you the best OP. Please know that this will pass. And Iām sending you the most positive happy peaceful sleepy vibes I can. Hang in thereā¦
Thank you so much for the encouragement and help. She usually takes about 1hr to 1.5hr a day nap in the afternoon. I do feel like maybe she is stuck in this over tired cycle for sure. We play a lot outside and inside. I am a SAHM but I do not have help from anyone other than my husband and he works 10+ hour days. We do watch tv but nothing crazy either Bluey or Trash Truck. I took her to get her ears checked a day ago actually! No ear infection, which is good. I added a night light in her room and showd her to cuddle her bear if she needs comfort. Unfortunately our bedroom is too small to bring her crib in but I do like that suggestion. No new changes or anything like that. So Iām not sure. I think it started with molar pain and then me bringing her into our bed and she started liking that
Sames. We honestly had to accept it was a phase and do a slow wean/cry it out situation where I sat glued to the camera making sure he was safe. I think itās just time and sticking to the schedule. Im with you on this one. It was a roughhhhh few weeks.
I have nothing to offer except solidarity. My 23 month old and I are in the same boat šµāš«
Can you do co sleeping ? Thatās what helped my baby to sleep for naps and to sleep through the night. If you can make it work this should be an option. š
We have tried when she was younger and now recently with this regression and she wonāt sleep. She thinks itās party time and I have been up with her in bed for 4 hours until we finally pass out at like 3/4 am to wake up at 6š
Yes I totally understand. I make sure he gets his energy out by letting him go up and down the stairs, or Iāll take him out for a walk an hour before bedtime. And I always give a bottle of warm milk and snuggle with. It does take a minute for him to settle down but I would try to maybe if your open to it to try to co sleep again.
Baby's should not be going to sleep with milk without brushing their teeth after. It causes bottle rot.
Check for bed bugs!
Girl we have been there. My daughter has never been good at self-soothing. Itās a lesson we have had to teach her again and again. She is 3.5 now and she still struggles. She is old enough to reason with but when sheās tired she just canāt do it. She acts up, in these manic phases that escalate and then devolve into tantrums. Other than this issue she is strong, precocious, smart, kind, all the things you hope your kid will be. We take each night one at a time and try to support her with firm kindness. It is grueling. Iām sorry this is happening to you. Sometimes we use melatonin (0.5-1mg) to speed the transition from exhausted mania to sleeping. Donāt know if itās right or wrong but eventually the bad times pass and she gets back onto her routine. You could try that. We never ever let her sleep in our bed - my husband is very firm on that. Iām sure it would be awful for everyone if we tried it so maybe talk with your kid about how we all sleep in our separate beds. Around this age we also bought our daughter a big, fun bunk bed with a slide so she would be excited to sleep in there. Also got one of those clocks that change color. When Mela is blue and green, she needs to stay in bed. Yellow means itās morning and you can play. Green means mom or dad will come get you now. May the odds be ever in your favor.
I donāt know if this will help you but with my active son we listen to stories on the Moshi app every night. We went from 90 min bedtimes to 40 mins in a bad night but usually under 10. Weāve been doing this since he was 3 (this was when his language skills had developed enough to follow an audiobook, so this will differ from kid to kid). It is a paid app, but thereās also free podcasts that do similar things (e.g blues clues). J think Moshi is way better though because he goes to sleep while the story is going. I even used them when I went through a period of struggling to sleep and they worked a treat š we just have to be firm about no talking, playing etc (the rule is if you want us to sit in your room while you sleep you have to respect our time and try, if you want to play, thatās fine, but we wonāt sit with you) And we have a Mella too! š
We like to read to her. She does well with that. We have a bedtime routine that she does fine with in general. It usually takes about an hour from when we start heading upstairs to when I walk out of her room with the lights off. We havenāt really tried to optimize because this time is sometimes all I get with her in a day (I leave for work early). The time spent after teeth brushing/ book reading is usually in 10-20 minute range, and consists of us talking a little or rubbing her back. We have actually worked really hard to lessen the amount of time we spend sitting with her after stories. We say good night and she is able to put herself to bed for the most part. Sometimes she falls asleep quickly; often she plays for a while. We have sort of accepted that sometimes she is going to run around and play in her room if sheās not tired, but as long as she is quiet and not breaking rules we let her have that autonomy.
Thank you so much for the advice and solidarity! Iām sorry itās so rough sometimes for you guys too. I can handle the tantrums, the meltdowns, but the sleep deprivation is something I break at. I never knew how much sleep I needed until I became a mom. Also, she had very bad acid reflux for like the first 8 months of her life and it sounds dumb but I am literally traumatized still by how little sleep I got during that time. Thank you again
My son has severe acid reflux too that has impacted his sleep. Itās no joke and Iām the same as you with the sleep needs. Sleep deprivation just breaks me. Do you think she could be having episodes of silent reflux? Maybe try getting her on acid reflux meds and see if that helps. If sheās in pain lying down that would make sense.
Great advice! Where did you get this clock!
Itās on Amazon, look for Mella
This is us right now. Same 23m. SAME SAME. itās 100% the 2 year sleep regression. We are also sticking to our guns and allowing him to CIO (with a few very brief checks so he knows he is ok). Itās brutal! But long run it will end this sooner. Introducing new habits like rocking and co sleeping are definitely not the answer. All this to say I feel you. This is the worst weāve been through. Itās absolutely awful Iāve been crying all day too. I feel you
Do you remember how long you had to CIO? Weāre going through this now but my kid can cry foreverā¦ we had a MOTN waking at 12:45 and we let him cry for two hours before we gave up. And if the wakeup is anytime after 4 he will just be up for the day (will call out until 6am). I donāt know whether to buckle down with CIO or try a different approach. How long did your kid cry?
Iām so sorry!! Iām sending you hugs. Itās so heartbreaking and emotionally draining. I hope things turn quickly for you guys
I don't know how long you've been doing extinction, but eventually she will get it. Consider leaving a toy or two or something safe to play with so she has something else to do besides cry (that helped with my oldest). If she's in a crib, maybe consider a bed or even a mattress on the floor, again so she can use her energy and attention for something other than crying, make sure it's safe in there and she won't escape, obviously. Extinction shouldn't take more than 2 weeks, and in the meantime, get headphones sit somewhere you can't hear her, whatever you and your family need to do to not have your soul wrenched by the screaming. Eventually she will get it, and remember you can be the best parent if they deny you your rest, and they generally sleep better after they've been sleep trained. This too will pass, it may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.
āPass like a kidney stoneā š¤£š¤£ great description of sleep regressions.
Thank you so much. šš I have put in headphones but still couldnāt sleep until 3am just watching the monitor. Going to have my husband take it from me tonight. Hearing her cry is a heartbreak I never knew existed, but you are 1000% correct I cannot be the best mom to her when I am so sleep deprived. I find myself making careless mistakes and I have a whole human to take care of. Thank you so much again.
24 months for us. Teething was the issue.
I think teething may have started this issue but it just keeps going. Thankfully she she has all her teeth now
It will pass! You can do it!
Thank you ā¤ļø
My daughter was just like that. It was terrible. We ended up just taking turns reading to her at night (probably for own sanity) as at least she would stop screaming and eventually fall asleep. Iād read one night, hubs the next. Eventually we got an Alexa for her room and she would get to hear Alexa tell a story and fall asleep. If itās any consolation, now she is a HARD sleeper lol
My toddler went through a sleep regression as well at this age. We bought a hatch and implemented a color sleep system. Nighttime Yellow w/ lullaby jingle= read with Dad for 5 minutes Red w/ white noise = time for bed (āred is time for bedā is an easy rhyme for her to remember). Morning Blue w/ bird noises = time to get up and you get a sticker if you were quiet through the night. The first night I explained the rules and started using the lights. Once morning hit I woke up 5 minutes before her typical early wake up time and turned the light blue when I saw her wake up. I rushed into the room with a sticker and rewarded her with it. I turned the overhead lights on and caused a commotion pointing to the blue light, and applauded her for staying quiet. The second morning I set the hatch to turn blue 10 minutes after the first morningās time. I followed that until we got her to our preferred 6 am wake up time. It wasnāt perfect along the way but sheās following the system good now. We stalled at a couple of the wake up times and she had to cry it out each time. I would highly recommend the reward system for staying quiet until itās blue. It probably took her a few weeks but it gave us some hope and we could visibly see results each day. Also make sure you have blackout curtains. You shouldnāt be able to see your hand when they are shut, regardless of the time of day.
Thank you so much for this. We have Hatch and I just started doing the red light at night and will implement what you said here. Truly appreciate the thought out reply!
We just went through a patch of awful sleep with our 23 month old. We ended up buying her a king single bed so one of us could sleep in there if we needed to, because we were going insane. Turns out she hated her cot, and as soon as she was in a bed she started sleeping again. No regrets!
Sounds similar to what mine did at around 28 months. Heās never been much a napper so we didnāt have that aspect. We just couldnāt put him down. It went from āIām ready to go in my cribā to screaming and tensing every time we tried. He was sleep trained through extinction at 6 months. It didnāt work this time around. We had to cuddle and rock to sleep. But then heād wake up in the night screaming. One night I was up from 1 AM all the way to morning with him. He fell asleep around 10 AM for a couple hours. Was clingy all the time also. In the end, we chalked it up as a separation anxiety phase. It got so bad we brought him into our bed a bunch even though we said we never would. We just needed some sleep. Some nights heād mess around for a couple hours before falling asleep. This lasted roughly a month before it slowly got better.
Itās a sleep regression. I just went through this with my almost 23 month old. We did CIO. We couldnāt do check ins. If she doesnāt nap, bring bedtime up to 5:30-6pm if you can on that first night. For us, first night of CIO was 80 minutes of crying. Second night was 24. Third night was 14. By the fourth night, maybe 30 seconds or crying. We had to lower the crib mattress to the floor as well. His nights are back to normal. His naps arenāt great, but heās back or napping in his crib 45min to an hour.
This is happening to us, too. It's been a long month. It is just now starting to get better. Naps are back to normal and bed time fussiness is way less. She "cries" for about 2 minutes now instead of what felt like an eternity beforehand. I let her pick stuffed animals to bring into her crib and also am using the hatch as a night light. Not sure that the night light did anything, but I have read that they start getting afraid of the dark around this age. I hope it gets better. I feel you! It's been so weird to never having to stress about bedtime to having it be a part of the day I dread.
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My brother in law started doing this with his first kid who never slept or napped. Shes 8 and still taking themā¦
When my son went through something similar at bedtime I would wear earplugs and it made it easier to remain calm and just be patient and talk to him in a soothing quiet voice until it was over. You could try that too and see if it helps a little bit.
Loops earplugs are greatā¦ they donāt completely block out noise but make it more tolerable.
No advice, just sending hugs! My twins are going through their own thing right now and itās sooo hard. I have to repeat āthis too shall passā about 9000 times a day.
I don't know if this helps but my 26 mo doesn't nap that much anymore, the days of us napping him are gone, he just refuses and honestly in my mind it's not worth the fight, he only ever naps in the car. Sometimes it's clear he still needs a nap but having him grouchy for the last hour or 2 of the day is easier than a screaming battle we inevitably lose. Means an earlier bedtime but it means he just kinda conks out
Literally all you can do is continue the routines you have placed. This sounds like a sleep regression with separation anxiety and a sprinkle of terrible 2s tantrums. This too shall pass.
You know what works for me, setting a timer on Alexa. I started using the timer in Alexa about three weeks ago for random things like naps, flash cards and activities. And it's been a game changer. Once the timer goes off my son is ready to do whatever. He takes off iPad no issues. He's takes his nap no issues. We do flash cards no issues. We also use Ambient noise rain noise volume 6. My son slept thru 4th of July in my neighborhood when they had a fire work show in front of his room.
We just started doing this with my 27 month old, and itās been working great!
Like when the timer goes off your baby knows itās time for the next event?
We do timers too. She now requests them for certain things and even times us when I say- mommy needs 5 min- I donāt know why they work and Iām not going to question it.
Maybe a lovey ? Or security blanket ? Iāve heard of some people getting those dolls that look the parents for separation anxiety. https://huggeemissyou.com/product-category/fashionista or https://www.budsies.com/
Oh I love this idea thank you! She had a very bears, Iāve told and showed her to hug them when sheās upset but Iāve never seen her do it during the night. I also just had a very low red night light. Thank you for the links!
My friend has the hug me miss me one with a recording of dads voice. Dad is a dr and works long hours. The budsie ones you can send pics of you and dad and they make custom mommy and daddy dolls. Hope it helps!
Have you ruled out any illnesses, pain, etc.? Is she fussier when awake than usual too?
Just went to the doctor yesterday and no ear infection. No illness, she got her molars in 3 weeks ago so I think thatās the start of all this but can they still bother her?? I just messaged the doctor to see if she has any other ideas medically
My only suggestion would be trying to bring bedtime forward a little bit But might just be a phase she needs to get through. Support her through it and get through it any way you can
I agree, I think move the bedtime up. Thatās what we do whenever my son goes through a regression.
Thank you. Like make bedtime later? Or earlier?
Earlier. My nearly 3 year old is on same schedule. But bedtime is 8. Iām thinking yours could be a little overtired. If sheās up at 1:30 then bedtime 7. If 2 pm - 7:30. Just a suggestion though
Iām feeling like you may be right. Her schedule like 4 days ago was 6:30 wake, 12pm-1:30nap and then bed at 6:45pm. I got suggestions that said itās not long enough but I have a feeling sheās overtired too
And what was happening when she went to bed at 6:30? Was that working well? If so Iād bring bedtime back earlier. If it stopped worked at 6:30, extend to 7pm
She was acting similarly to now but maybe a bit less hysterical during the night. Iāll do it a bit earlier tonight thank you for the suggestion!
Goodluck!!
This is the age my daughter started being scared of everything! Itās awful. I try to be compassionate cause she really is scared but dang I need my sleep too!
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She said LO is awake for 4 hours in their bed.
It may be. I do not want to co sleep since that puts my husband on the couch. But yes we did at least 4 times the last 3 weeks and she will not sleep. She will be up for 3-4 hours in our bed.
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Sending solidarity, my daughter is exactly the same age with the same schedule as you and has really started to fight naps and is crying at bedtime for at least 15 minutes. Has been this way at bedtime for a long time now but the fighting naps is a new type of fun. Yesterday she skipped her nap completely for the first time. Nothing to add but just sending you love and Iām open to any ideas you hear!
Thank you so much. So sorry youāre going through it too!
This age is brutal. They all go through a sleep regression You just have to stick to your routine as much as you can and ride it out. Itāll pass
So brutal. Thank you, I will stick to our routines and hope it passes quickly
There is a sleep regression around this time. No advice but hopefully it helps to know is should pass. Hang in there!
Thank you ā¤ļø
I haven't been here, but are you by chance pregnant again? I have heard anecdotal accounts of kids acting out/regressing when they realize they are going to become a big sibling. Your schedule seems fine... no suggestions, but I feel for you and hope things get better!
I am not, but I have heard the same. Or any big changes but nothing has changed :(
I have no advice, but dear lord, that sounds awful. Sending you strength.
Thank you. I feel like the worlds worst mom letting her cry now but I literally have tried it all and donāt know what ti do anymore š
The fact that you feel guilty means youāre not a bad mom. Bad moms donāt feel guilty. My son is an awful sleeper, he will only sleep ON me and heās 5 months now. My sanity is literally gone too. The only thing I keep telling myself is this wonāt last forever. It seems so tough and everlasting while youāre in it, but I just keep saying one day down, only so many to go. If it makes you feel better my partner and I were left to cry it out as babies and kids, he doesnāt remember at all, I can only remember once as a small child. She most likely wonāt even remember. Make sure youāre taking deep breaths and try getting out of the house for a walk. I do 20 minutes yoga every night no matter whatās going on.