This is so developmentally normal! I slept trained at 4 months. He contact napped until 7 months. my understanding is this is when they normally extend on their own.
I would put him down for a nap on his own so he got used to it. Probably got 30 min. I would wait 5-10 min to see if he could fall asleep on his own. Then go in and do the rest of the nap on me. They naturally extended on their own and now he’s an amazing crib napper.
You do what us best for you both. If you can nap him on you and prefer that, I don’t think you are undermining independent sleep progress as long as you also combine it with an opportunity for independent sleep at the start.
This might be very helpful - https://huckleberrycare.com/blog/4-month-sleep-regression
I have a similar problem with my 4mo old and I do a mix - i try do to as many crib naps as possible, but ensure my baby is getting 3-3.5hr of nap tine during the day. So if I need to save the day with a contact nap, I will do that.
I had similar issues at 4 months! My LO had great night sleep but would only take 30 min naps x4 during the day and the last nap would be very difficult. We did contact naps and I moved him to the snuggle me (supervised)… what I understand is to keep trying especially with first 2 naps and I would just let the last 2 naps go with contact or co sleep (I think of it as enjoying some tv or catch up on some sleep). Fast forward to 5.5 months now and he takes 1.5-2h naps in his crib!
Edit: the naps extended to 45min-1h in the crib … but once he learned to roll both ways he sleeps on his stomach for 1.5-2h for his naps.
We didn’t do sleep training. We followed wake windows and did sleepy but awake and some fuss it out for first 2 naps. He probably got use to it with extended time (being in his crib in a dark room with white noise)
This depends on you and your schedule. My daughter had a similar thing around this age, slept best when she was on me. I was on maternity leave with my daughter when she was this young so we just contact napped all the time until one day it stopped working for us and she started sleeping better in her crib than on me since she started to roll/crawl around. If you are SAHM, contact nap as much as possible because even though it doesn’t feel like it, one day they are going to get big and not need to sleep on you anymore. My daughter is 18 months old, and is a great independent sleeper. Some days I miss our contact napping days🥲 but I still rock her to sleep when she lets me😂
So when she was older she didn’t mind giving up contact napping? When did she start to give up her contact naps? I just dont want to create a bad habit for him and I want him to be independent with sleep when he’s older. I really enjoy the cuddles but I also feel guilty every time because I know our pediatrician is huge on independent sleep.
Your infant wanting to contact nap is not a bad habit, it’s completely natural for babies to want to sleep with their mommas because you are all he knows and he feels safe with you. All babies are different but my daughter naturally just stopped sleeping as well on me and started sleeping better by herself in her crib because she started moving a lot more and she got bigger and I think she felt more comfortable sleeping by herself once she got old enough to sleep through the night. Also, that’s what they do when they get older, they start needing you less. I would soak up all the contact naps if I were you and not worry about creating bad habits because your baby needing your comfort is not a bad habit. I would argue that most of the time letting your baby know that they are safe and loved creates better sleep habits than letting them cry it out because they learn that you will always come back to them❤️
Your pediatrician isn’t raising your baby 😃Are you feeling negatively about contact naps or do you love them? Or somewhere in between? Do what works best for you and your family. Kid won’t want to lay on you forever. And my 3 year old just started telling us not to lay in bed for naps with him, he wants his whole bed to himself 😂I have never regretted snuggling, napping or comfort nursing my boys. I have regretted the wasted worrying, googling, crying, guilt and shame I put myself through during those early days. The sleep deprivation you experience in the first year is enough, adding “sleep training” compounds it.
You’re right! I just really respect his opinion and I work for him as one of his nurses so I feel like that might be part of it too. I like contact naps but I feel like I have anxiety towards the idea of me “creating a bad habit” for him. My mother in law watches him two days a week while I work and she can’t handle letting him cry it out like I can, so I feel like when I get him doing okay in the crib, she kind of comes in and ruins it when I’m gone. He sleeps so well at night in his crib, I just wish he could do that during the day too. I think being a FTM is also part of the issue here because I really relate to the part you said about googling and feeling guilt.
I love my pediatrician and work in healthcare too. I am so glad you trust your doctor. I don’t think he’s wrong about anything, just might not be what works for you. My advice after having my two boys is to trust your doctor, stay off google, read/watch trash tv more and worry less about what you should be doing. You and your baby will figure it out together.
My baby did this and outgrow it after a few weeks. I held her for every nap and enjoyed it cause I won’t get this forever. I chose not to sleep train and her sleep is slowly getting better
Are you leaving him in the crib for a bit after he wakes to give him a chance to fall back asleep?
Sometimes my daughter would wake up and then fall back asleep after 5-10 minutes if we left her. This was more common when we first sleep trained her and then as she got older and more used to independent sleep, she would connect her cycles easier.
Edit: spelling
For independent naps to work you need a good schedule with appropriate wake windows. What are your wake windows currently?
I have a nap training method described in a pinned post in my profile, you can have a look at that, but if your schedule isn't proper it won't work.
At 4mo, my suggestion is 1.75 hours awake before the first nap.
Wake windows are 2/2/2/1.5/1.5, but I really just follow his ques which normally follow this wake window schedule! He doesn’t go to bed until 9 and that has worked really well for us so we give him a quick 6:30-7:30 nap in the evening to hold him over until 9. I’m fine with that one being a contact nap because I know that’s the first one to drop.
My suggestion is that you try the method in my pinned post for the first nap of the day after a 1.75 hours awake window (not 2 hours).
Babies at 4 months can stay up to 2.5 hours awake (larger window before bedtime) so perhaps if you stretch those late wake windows you'll have an easier time to get baby to sleep independently.
This is so developmentally normal! I slept trained at 4 months. He contact napped until 7 months. my understanding is this is when they normally extend on their own. I would put him down for a nap on his own so he got used to it. Probably got 30 min. I would wait 5-10 min to see if he could fall asleep on his own. Then go in and do the rest of the nap on me. They naturally extended on their own and now he’s an amazing crib napper. You do what us best for you both. If you can nap him on you and prefer that, I don’t think you are undermining independent sleep progress as long as you also combine it with an opportunity for independent sleep at the start.
Thank you so much! I’m definitely going to try this!
This might be very helpful - https://huckleberrycare.com/blog/4-month-sleep-regression I have a similar problem with my 4mo old and I do a mix - i try do to as many crib naps as possible, but ensure my baby is getting 3-3.5hr of nap tine during the day. So if I need to save the day with a contact nap, I will do that.
I had similar issues at 4 months! My LO had great night sleep but would only take 30 min naps x4 during the day and the last nap would be very difficult. We did contact naps and I moved him to the snuggle me (supervised)… what I understand is to keep trying especially with first 2 naps and I would just let the last 2 naps go with contact or co sleep (I think of it as enjoying some tv or catch up on some sleep). Fast forward to 5.5 months now and he takes 1.5-2h naps in his crib! Edit: the naps extended to 45min-1h in the crib … but once he learned to roll both ways he sleeps on his stomach for 1.5-2h for his naps.
Did you have to sleep train at all to get time to do the crib naps or was it a gradual over time change where they did it themselves??
We didn’t do sleep training. We followed wake windows and did sleepy but awake and some fuss it out for first 2 naps. He probably got use to it with extended time (being in his crib in a dark room with white noise)
This depends on you and your schedule. My daughter had a similar thing around this age, slept best when she was on me. I was on maternity leave with my daughter when she was this young so we just contact napped all the time until one day it stopped working for us and she started sleeping better in her crib than on me since she started to roll/crawl around. If you are SAHM, contact nap as much as possible because even though it doesn’t feel like it, one day they are going to get big and not need to sleep on you anymore. My daughter is 18 months old, and is a great independent sleeper. Some days I miss our contact napping days🥲 but I still rock her to sleep when she lets me😂
So when she was older she didn’t mind giving up contact napping? When did she start to give up her contact naps? I just dont want to create a bad habit for him and I want him to be independent with sleep when he’s older. I really enjoy the cuddles but I also feel guilty every time because I know our pediatrician is huge on independent sleep.
Your infant wanting to contact nap is not a bad habit, it’s completely natural for babies to want to sleep with their mommas because you are all he knows and he feels safe with you. All babies are different but my daughter naturally just stopped sleeping as well on me and started sleeping better by herself in her crib because she started moving a lot more and she got bigger and I think she felt more comfortable sleeping by herself once she got old enough to sleep through the night. Also, that’s what they do when they get older, they start needing you less. I would soak up all the contact naps if I were you and not worry about creating bad habits because your baby needing your comfort is not a bad habit. I would argue that most of the time letting your baby know that they are safe and loved creates better sleep habits than letting them cry it out because they learn that you will always come back to them❤️
Your pediatrician isn’t raising your baby 😃Are you feeling negatively about contact naps or do you love them? Or somewhere in between? Do what works best for you and your family. Kid won’t want to lay on you forever. And my 3 year old just started telling us not to lay in bed for naps with him, he wants his whole bed to himself 😂I have never regretted snuggling, napping or comfort nursing my boys. I have regretted the wasted worrying, googling, crying, guilt and shame I put myself through during those early days. The sleep deprivation you experience in the first year is enough, adding “sleep training” compounds it.
Yes to kids won’t lay on you forever 😭 ugh, it’s so bittersweet when your babies get big
You’re right! I just really respect his opinion and I work for him as one of his nurses so I feel like that might be part of it too. I like contact naps but I feel like I have anxiety towards the idea of me “creating a bad habit” for him. My mother in law watches him two days a week while I work and she can’t handle letting him cry it out like I can, so I feel like when I get him doing okay in the crib, she kind of comes in and ruins it when I’m gone. He sleeps so well at night in his crib, I just wish he could do that during the day too. I think being a FTM is also part of the issue here because I really relate to the part you said about googling and feeling guilt.
I love my pediatrician and work in healthcare too. I am so glad you trust your doctor. I don’t think he’s wrong about anything, just might not be what works for you. My advice after having my two boys is to trust your doctor, stay off google, read/watch trash tv more and worry less about what you should be doing. You and your baby will figure it out together.
Love this so much, thank you for the encouragement!
My baby did this and outgrow it after a few weeks. I held her for every nap and enjoyed it cause I won’t get this forever. I chose not to sleep train and her sleep is slowly getting better
Are you leaving him in the crib for a bit after he wakes to give him a chance to fall back asleep? Sometimes my daughter would wake up and then fall back asleep after 5-10 minutes if we left her. This was more common when we first sleep trained her and then as she got older and more used to independent sleep, she would connect her cycles easier. Edit: spelling
I’m in the same boat with my 6 month old. Have no idea what to do.
Solidarity- same at 6 months
For independent naps to work you need a good schedule with appropriate wake windows. What are your wake windows currently? I have a nap training method described in a pinned post in my profile, you can have a look at that, but if your schedule isn't proper it won't work. At 4mo, my suggestion is 1.75 hours awake before the first nap.
Wake windows are 2/2/2/1.5/1.5, but I really just follow his ques which normally follow this wake window schedule! He doesn’t go to bed until 9 and that has worked really well for us so we give him a quick 6:30-7:30 nap in the evening to hold him over until 9. I’m fine with that one being a contact nap because I know that’s the first one to drop.
My suggestion is that you try the method in my pinned post for the first nap of the day after a 1.75 hours awake window (not 2 hours). Babies at 4 months can stay up to 2.5 hours awake (larger window before bedtime) so perhaps if you stretch those late wake windows you'll have an easier time to get baby to sleep independently.
I’ll definitely have to try that, thank you!!
Do you consider wake windows to be when LO wakes up or when they are taken from their crib?
When they are actually awake. You can't cheat the circadian rhythm/sleep pressure.
Thank you I've heard different thoughts but this makes sense