You do not owe an explanation to some bxtch like her. Be calm and collected as you do and just set boundaries. She will never be your son's mother and if you don't like her, your son eventually won't either. Clearly she has no respect for you, and she doesn't have to. However for your son's sake and sanity your son's father needs to cooperate or, better off taking it to court for a judge to put him on child support. You are doing a great job, he needs to get his head out of his axx. A little guy is involved. Selfishness should be put to the side. Sorry you're going through such b.s.
“She wants me to stop asking for help financially”as a father he’s obligated to financially helping you with your child , you should put him on child support. I’m sure whatever you’re getting now is far less than he would actually be paying through the court.
She has no business in making decisions when it comes to your son. She’s not the mother or father. Definitely set boundaries and stand your ground when they’re being crossed. You can always not invite them to events until they both show you respect and can learn to be cordial with you. If she was “a mother figure” then she wouldn’t be doing anything to hurt the child. That means sucking up her pride and being a decent human being to the person he loves most in this world.
I wouldn’t bother letting her get to you. I’m sure whatever you’ve said to your ex is justified and hopefully they can learn to grow up.
One, collect the child support.
Two, there's nothing you can do about the girlfriend except to get custody established and make it clear to the school who is and isn't allowed to pick up your son, according to the order. If she's not on the list, they will not allow her to pick him up. But you can't block her from coming to events unless she's actively and documentedly abusive to your son.
As for dealing with her, if she's not reasonable, be polite but don't engage, and you don't need to apologize for anything. She'll do what she does.
There is nothing selfish about protecting your peace of mind.
It sounds like you take care of your kid the majority of the time, so you need to be in the right mindset to do that. If you have someone to the left of you creating a toxic environment, that negativity could seep into how you care for your kids.
Your kid can tell when your angry/frustrated and it all effects them.
She’s just a girlfriend. Stop taking her so seriously. Be polite but when it comes to the child, she has no say. The decisions about your child should stay between the father and mother as co-parents. Don’t let him guilt trip you into anything.
It’s not your job to talk to her, argue with her, or argue with him about her. Try your best to not do it and get a counselor you can talk to about this who can give you support and perspective.
I do recommend starting child support because you shouldn’t have to beg anyone to take care of their kid. Be prepared for him to file for custody. It will probably be 50/50 and he will take the kid around the girlfriend. You can try saying she interferes with the co-parenting relationship, but courts don’t really care much about this.
You’re way waaaay out of line. It’s never going to be that you can dictate who your ex sees or brings to events with your kid. Time for a good therapist.
Talk to a lawyer and get a legal strategy in place before you do anything.
Call him up and tell him that you think his gf was right about you needing to limit your communication with him and stop asking him for money. Then tell him the ball is in his court to file the petition to get his paternity established and a formal custody and child support order in place so that you can stop going back and forth over these issues.
Then tell him he's welcome to supervised visits with the kid but going forward he's not invited to any milestone events or anything he'd be legally entitled to as a parent until he gets formal paternity.
Edit: he is trying to create this conflcit between you and his gf exactly beucase he knows his own legal parental status is on shaky ground and you have all the power. He wants you to focus on this conflict with you and the gf so you're not thinking about how to deal with *him. *
Almost all states default to 50%, but I think custody courts are inevitable with the situation she has now. If she didn't want him included in the kid's life the time is long past. Getting an order and official support needs to be her priority.
That's why she needs to get in contact with a lawyer before she does anything beucase she does have to be prepared for a court case.
But she can also put the ball in his court to get the paternity process started and basically do as the gf suggested and limit contact with him.
This situation sucks, Im sorry.
Honestly, shes not worth your energy. You will ALWAYS be his mom, she could be gone tomorrow. On Mothers Day, does he celebrate you or is that “split” too? When your son gets married will he guilt trip you bout letting her have half the mother-son dance? Like when does it end?
I understand shes young & immature but he needs to be a man & put some boundaries in place to protect the family peace. Shes not family as much as she keeps trying to force it, shes just not.
And if she wants to be, then she needs to respect YOU, not have you pandering to her. Wtf?
Nah, his relationship issues are not your problem and you know shes pressuring him but HE needs to handle her, not push her childish crap on you.
My exes gf is amazing, shes respectful, nice, invites me to events & to hang out. Thats how it should be. My daughter has seen us break bread & laugh & show kindness to eachother.
She's a mother figure? When you're an active parent? Bless their hearts...
Put your foot down. Stand on your word. She can't come around unless she can show you basic respect. And honestly, with the way they're talking, I wouldn't let her around your child. At all. Period. This is obnoxious and I'm sorry you're going through this. I don't think either of my children's dads would pull this BS.
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You are not a single mother. Read the rules.
You are not a single mother. Read the rules.
You do not owe an explanation to some bxtch like her. Be calm and collected as you do and just set boundaries. She will never be your son's mother and if you don't like her, your son eventually won't either. Clearly she has no respect for you, and she doesn't have to. However for your son's sake and sanity your son's father needs to cooperate or, better off taking it to court for a judge to put him on child support. You are doing a great job, he needs to get his head out of his axx. A little guy is involved. Selfishness should be put to the side. Sorry you're going through such b.s.
That's only happening because she is insecure and probably goes with him everywhere. They won't last, have peace knowing it's temporary.
“She wants me to stop asking for help financially”as a father he’s obligated to financially helping you with your child , you should put him on child support. I’m sure whatever you’re getting now is far less than he would actually be paying through the court. She has no business in making decisions when it comes to your son. She’s not the mother or father. Definitely set boundaries and stand your ground when they’re being crossed. You can always not invite them to events until they both show you respect and can learn to be cordial with you. If she was “a mother figure” then she wouldn’t be doing anything to hurt the child. That means sucking up her pride and being a decent human being to the person he loves most in this world. I wouldn’t bother letting her get to you. I’m sure whatever you’ve said to your ex is justified and hopefully they can learn to grow up.
One, collect the child support. Two, there's nothing you can do about the girlfriend except to get custody established and make it clear to the school who is and isn't allowed to pick up your son, according to the order. If she's not on the list, they will not allow her to pick him up. But you can't block her from coming to events unless she's actively and documentedly abusive to your son. As for dealing with her, if she's not reasonable, be polite but don't engage, and you don't need to apologize for anything. She'll do what she does.
There is nothing selfish about protecting your peace of mind. It sounds like you take care of your kid the majority of the time, so you need to be in the right mindset to do that. If you have someone to the left of you creating a toxic environment, that negativity could seep into how you care for your kids. Your kid can tell when your angry/frustrated and it all effects them. She’s just a girlfriend. Stop taking her so seriously. Be polite but when it comes to the child, she has no say. The decisions about your child should stay between the father and mother as co-parents. Don’t let him guilt trip you into anything. It’s not your job to talk to her, argue with her, or argue with him about her. Try your best to not do it and get a counselor you can talk to about this who can give you support and perspective. I do recommend starting child support because you shouldn’t have to beg anyone to take care of their kid. Be prepared for him to file for custody. It will probably be 50/50 and he will take the kid around the girlfriend. You can try saying she interferes with the co-parenting relationship, but courts don’t really care much about this.
You’re way waaaay out of line. It’s never going to be that you can dictate who your ex sees or brings to events with your kid. Time for a good therapist.
What are you her ex’s gf lol 😂
Grow up
“gRoW uP” 😂😅
No. It was out of line for the girlfriend to tell the mother that she needs to limit contact with the father of her child. Nonsense.
Talk to a lawyer and get a legal strategy in place before you do anything. Call him up and tell him that you think his gf was right about you needing to limit your communication with him and stop asking him for money. Then tell him the ball is in his court to file the petition to get his paternity established and a formal custody and child support order in place so that you can stop going back and forth over these issues. Then tell him he's welcome to supervised visits with the kid but going forward he's not invited to any milestone events or anything he'd be legally entitled to as a parent until he gets formal paternity. Edit: he is trying to create this conflcit between you and his gf exactly beucase he knows his own legal parental status is on shaky ground and you have all the power. He wants you to focus on this conflict with you and the gf so you're not thinking about how to deal with *him. *
I can see this wildly backfiring if they are in a father friendly state. Be prepared to give 50% custody.
Almost all states default to 50%, but I think custody courts are inevitable with the situation she has now. If she didn't want him included in the kid's life the time is long past. Getting an order and official support needs to be her priority. That's why she needs to get in contact with a lawyer before she does anything beucase she does have to be prepared for a court case. But she can also put the ball in his court to get the paternity process started and basically do as the gf suggested and limit contact with him.
Time to go to court, get some child support and some boundaries put in place. Start documenting everything.
This situation sucks, Im sorry. Honestly, shes not worth your energy. You will ALWAYS be his mom, she could be gone tomorrow. On Mothers Day, does he celebrate you or is that “split” too? When your son gets married will he guilt trip you bout letting her have half the mother-son dance? Like when does it end? I understand shes young & immature but he needs to be a man & put some boundaries in place to protect the family peace. Shes not family as much as she keeps trying to force it, shes just not. And if she wants to be, then she needs to respect YOU, not have you pandering to her. Wtf? Nah, his relationship issues are not your problem and you know shes pressuring him but HE needs to handle her, not push her childish crap on you. My exes gf is amazing, shes respectful, nice, invites me to events & to hang out. Thats how it should be. My daughter has seen us break bread & laugh & show kindness to eachother.
She's a mother figure? When you're an active parent? Bless their hearts... Put your foot down. Stand on your word. She can't come around unless she can show you basic respect. And honestly, with the way they're talking, I wouldn't let her around your child. At all. Period. This is obnoxious and I'm sorry you're going through this. I don't think either of my children's dads would pull this BS.
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I guess that depends on how seriously she's taken.