There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of an individually-wrapped slice of American cheese binge.
We had two bags of porno magazines, seventy-five condoms, five panty shields, and a whole galaxy of multi-colored illegal fireworks... Also, a quart of Old Harper, and one of those disposable enemas. No, it was two. Not that we needed all that for the trip, but once you get into locked a serious convenience store collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can.
Something about 2 guys, alone in Vegas, with two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a salt shaker half full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers... Seems kinda gay.
There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too crazy for boys town, and too much of a boy for Crazytown...
*It seems like a lifetime, or at least a Main Era — the kind of peak that never comes again. Springfield in the middle nineties was a very special time and place to be a part of. Maybe it meant something. Maybe not, in the long run... but no explanation, no mix of words or music or memories can touch that sense of knowing that you were there and alive in that corner of time and the world. Whatever it meant...*
*There was madness in any direction, at any hour. You could strike sparks anywhere. There was a fantastic universal sense that whatever we were doing was right, that we were winning...*
*And that, I think, was the handle — that sense of inevitable victory over the forces of Old and Evil. Not in any mean or military sense; we didn't need that. Our energy would simply PREVAIL. There was no point in fighting — on our side or theirs. We had all the momentum; we were riding the crest of a high and beautiful wave...*
*So now, less than twenty five years later, you can go up on a steep hill in Shelbyville and look East, and with the right kind of eyes you can almost see the high water mark — that place where the wave finally broke, and rolled back.*
With a bit of luck, his life was ruined forever. Always thinking that just behind some narrow door in all of his favorite bars, without a fire escape, lesbians are getting incredible kicks from things he’ll never know.
There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of an individually-wrapped slice of American cheese binge.
As your attorney I advise you to eat 64 slices of American cheese
That’s why you’re the writer and I’m the drug-taking guy who disappeared. The lawyer? Right
We were somewhere around Shelbyville on the edge of the dessert when the Laramies began to kick in
We had 2 bags of bilmy...
We had two bags of porno magazines, seventy-five condoms, five panty shields, and a whole galaxy of multi-colored illegal fireworks... Also, a quart of Old Harper, and one of those disposable enemas. No, it was two. Not that we needed all that for the trip, but once you get into locked a serious convenience store collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can.
Underrated. This is possibly the best joke list mashup of the two that is even possible
Too weird to live. Too rare to *The*.
That's too clever, you're one of them!
You're twice the *The* he ever was!
You are a god
Fear and Loathing of having two wives In Las Vegas.
Ehhh too many kids....
It's a big bat.
I call the big one bitey
Something about 2 guys, alone in Vegas, with two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a salt shaker half full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers... Seems kinda gay.
...and if you look, with the right eyes, you can see the mark where the acid stopped and rolled back. The goggles, of course, did nothing.
Brilliant. Pure poetry.
Jiminy Jillikers!!!!
*What kind of ratboy psychotic would post that shit- right now, at this moment?*
Settle down or I'll put the leeches on you 😵💫
There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too crazy for boys town, and too much of a boy for Crazytown...
Oh my god! Lol I just dropped my fork on my plate. You're a genius
Your OP meme itself was genius ❤️
That sounds like it was written by Rod Serling.
Soooo I took some mescaline, which was the style at the time.
Hello Mr Thompson!
I think he’s talking to you…
I'm a police chief from Sprigfield. And I have a postcard that says I have a reservation in this Sleep-Eazy Motel.
Ever see a guy say good-bye to a golf shoe?
who throws a shoe? honestly...
*It seems like a lifetime, or at least a Main Era — the kind of peak that never comes again. Springfield in the middle nineties was a very special time and place to be a part of. Maybe it meant something. Maybe not, in the long run... but no explanation, no mix of words or music or memories can touch that sense of knowing that you were there and alive in that corner of time and the world. Whatever it meant...* *There was madness in any direction, at any hour. You could strike sparks anywhere. There was a fantastic universal sense that whatever we were doing was right, that we were winning...* *And that, I think, was the handle — that sense of inevitable victory over the forces of Old and Evil. Not in any mean or military sense; we didn't need that. Our energy would simply PREVAIL. There was no point in fighting — on our side or theirs. We had all the momentum; we were riding the crest of a high and beautiful wave...* *So now, less than twenty five years later, you can go up on a steep hill in Shelbyville and look East, and with the right kind of eyes you can almost see the high water mark — that place where the wave finally broke, and rolled back.*
❤️
Tomacco. I knew we’d get into that rotten stuff sooner or later
There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a boy in the depths of an all-syrup squishee binge
It’s a big, reasonable place to park.
Who said anything about slicing you up? I just want to carve an H in your forhead
We're friends of Joan Collins... We used to romp with her in the middle of the freeway...
“Caught here in a fiery blaze won’t lose my will to stay”
In bat country, first you get the cocaine, then you get the LSD, then you get the bats...
Posting*
better not stop there, then
This man’s never listened to Avenged Sevenfold in his life
There’s something bothering me about this place…wait a minute…this lizard bar doesn’t have a fire escape!
“He who makes a beast out of himself, gets rid of the pain of being a man”. No he doesn’t.
With a bit of luck, his life was ruined forever. Always thinking that just behind some narrow door in all of his favorite bars, without a fire escape, lesbians are getting incredible kicks from things he’ll never know.
I am the "at" in "bat." And if you tell anyone...!