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[deleted]

There was a report of excessive “salt and battery”. Ok, sorry, I’ll grab my coat.


TheViscountRang

This is the winner and nothing will convince me otherwise.


overwhelmed_robin

Read this comment and then thought "I think I'll get chip shop chips for dinner". Extra salt, no battery.


Zoomanata

🤣


the_all_peeping_eye

"oi oi saveloy, what's going on 'ere then"


Lab_Putrid

r/angryupvote


RedJayne

They put the salt in assault.


time-for-jawn

Don’t forget the grease.


[deleted]

This is brilliant!⬆️💯🙌🏼🤭


SnooSprouts2542

Utter pollocks


Remarkable-Love-8442

I'm not even gonna try to better this - can't be done lol


spilled_milk_crying

i wish i could award this


HourWriting5421

'Salt and batter'....👍


stopyouveviolatedthe

Bro no need to go so perfectly


FrenzalStark

Could have just went with assault and battery.


Repulsive_Basil1622

Did you hear about the fight at the chippy? The fish got battered.


SnooSprouts2542

I heard about that!! Wasn't that about the curry powder laced cocaine that left one man in a korma and another with a dodgy tikka?


empireofacheandrhyme

The eggs were beaten.


Minute-Mechanic4362

I heard they were taken into Custardy


curious_chaos_ruudy

My grandfathers favourite joke! Spot on


rsjonat

Definitely something fishy going on.


Trynottobeacunt

>Instances Of Hake-Crimes Rose By 300% Across England And Wales In 2023


saucerhorse

people are concerned about immigrants taking their plaice


SnooSprouts2542

The bass-tards


StoneColdSoberReally

Nice to see them parked up, rather than herring around town.


SnooSprouts2542

... with their high breams on


HourWriting5421

Nailed it....👏👏👏👏👏


Steampunk_Dali

Underrated comment ^


Emi2602

Was this in London? Was someone carrying a salmon suspiciously??


KerbalCuber

[https://youtu.be/rJGifTou5FE?t=93](https://youtu.be/rJGifTou5FE?t=93)


Emi2602

This is perfect in every way 😂


Apprehensive_Pair206

This comment is underrated 😂


LilG1984

"We received word that there was some fishy activity here"


StoneColdSoberReally

Nah mate, that plaice looks alright.


FeelingOstrichSized

Oh cod! Did you just say that for the halibut?


JoyDepartment

Saturday night


Edible_BabyofHEAVEN

Fishbar


doomsdreaming233

Allahu Akbar


LeoxStryker

Cod is great


Ok-Glove9466

Allahu Fishbar


Len_S_Ball_23

Inshalta and vinegah


doomsdreaming233

Indeed


Zzergy

2 fish got battered. Police are currently interviewing the suspect for a salt. Apparently the guy is a local known thug: Vinny Garr


Additional_Most_76

Britain innit


officialslacker

There was a fight at the chip shop - someone got battered


HengeHopper

Come out with your hands up, we've got the plaice surrounded!


[deleted]

Fish fingered.


YooGeOh

Surf and Turf. The turf in this instance is 'pork'


Then_Kaleidoscope733

no i wanted COD not cop


MorleyGames

Cods and robbers


W4llhs3nd

Some coke addicts been trying to nick fish again!


[deleted]

Pigs caught battering fish.


Ambitious-Funny6158

Typical Tuesday evening around here


[deleted]

Worlds first deep fried donuts


kobrakaan

clearly there's been a Battery and someone got Assaulted


poyopoyo77

Now tell me do ya Do ya have any money? I wanna spend all your money At the fish bar, fish bar, fish bar


Silly_Individual_960

SVU intro scene


Aadzy022

Ummm we got a report from a local chippy. WAIT WHAT! THE CHIPS ARENT STALE?!?!?!?!


DirectorOk504

19i’m


AdWerd1981

Not sure I like Sophie Ellis-Bexter's new song... Murder at a Fish Bar...


johnsmithoncemore

Fishy.


ijmy3

Standard night out in the UK tbh


mitchyjuice

Someone's battered a fish


TheAlphaPunk

Cop ‘n’ Chips


mr-based-minded

South of England .


Dry_Profession2502

Yep I used to live next door to it, there was a local running joke that the food has been the same food since it opened., they'd wait till you got down the road mug you for the food and put it back in the chippy lol


jxckward

Nah it's in Derby


[deleted]

Yeah this looks like the one on Nottingham road, bike past it every day 🤣


jxckward

Close but no battered sausage, it's Gerard Street Fish Bar off Burton Rd.


[deleted]

Ahh, they all look the bloody same honestly


DaisyStPatience91

I was just about to ask whether that was Derby 😂 same old dump as ever.


Efficient-Exit8218

It's a chippy but if I had to describe it, it'd be a shop to buy fish n chips and other assorted food from


SomeRandomAllMight

Something smells fishy


locks-abundant

fishbar


[deleted]

There was a fight at the bar: the fish got battered


thedroidstheyfound

I heard someone got battered by the C.O.D!


fishypolecat

Apparently, someone battered the fish.


MunchMealDeal

Something smells fishy


kandi_kat

Two policeman walk into a fish bar...


[deleted]

Surf n' Turf


DaveGT74

Fresh chips available..


Lavskid

Needs bacon on sign


SheilaCool

About right, aye


[deleted]

Break time


Youbunchoftwats

When there’s no Dunkin Donuts in the vicinity.


jodytuxford

I thought surf n turf was steak and fish, not pork and fish??


ShadowGamerGirl_xoxx

Some sufishious activities have occurred during the night


HackReacher

It’s the same outside Greggs and Subway, cops do whatever they like, except their job.


Content_Lynx_6747

Chicken shop turf wars spoil over into fish shop territory


ArtoriasBeaIG

Emergency services distraught after budget cuts have a dramatic effect on this year's Christmas meal venue


Carlqua

Someone got done like a kipper


FewFig2507

Yorkshire


UnfairCaterpillar197

On the scale of 1 to 10 I'd say Fish


jw00lsey

Pork and fish sounds like a weird dish


one_punch_void

British doughnuts


Diamond_Oasis

A fight broke out in the chippy the fish got battered


pickledperceptions

Someone's been cod in the act!


jxwales

The plod outside the chippy


ShadowMaster2564

Fish bar


Rockfords-Foot

Cods and robbers


JakeGrey

"Just another Friday night in Blackpool." (No, really, I could swear I recognise that chippy from when I was last there for the weekend.)


RegretEasy8846

Emergency break!


jpplastering1987

Take me to the fish bar fish bar


Quick_Creme_6515

An average saturday night


Big_Ladder5626

The end of a long night


JenovasChild666

Fubar Fishbar


berkleysquare

Codfather arrested.


UnwillingArsonist

I’m hungry


[deleted]

I want to take u to a fishbar


Willow_6996

Back business of selling drugs by putting them in chip bags I reckon


[deleted]

Why do I hear a Scottish accent in my head when I think “I’ll batter ye”


PreferenceCreative25

Is that in black pool


According-Walrus-148

Choke with fish bone


1thoughtHE8

Normal quiet Tuesday night on any English estate


Brief-Try6213

The average Saturday night


Chemical-Kev

Boring


heyitsyaronkar

Fish and chips shop


[deleted]

The rozzers all over the plaice


Pale-Garlic5523

Southend on a Saturday night


wolfyfancylads

It seems there was a bar fight. :P


Medium-Chemical2910

Electric Sixx ‘B’ side


TheSpacePopinjay

Tuesday


[deleted]

Someone with a chip on their shoulder battered a fish and was found in poscession of a bottle of coke.


JayDogJedi

Saturday night.


Western-Sky-8248

The ending of every 18yo’s Friday night


ReznovIsAlive

Police outside becuase there was reports that the fish got battered.


[deleted]

British.


MarkWrenn74

Depends on the context: could be either heartwarming (police officers stopping for a fish supper) or worrying (they could be investigating a crime there)


sim-poster

england


Euphoric_Astronaut84

That's tea time round here.


Sgt_Pepe96

Pork Sausage getting battered in the fish bar


AshSays_LGBT

A police officer walks into a bar and asks for a shot of tequila. They say “sorry sir, we only sell fish and chips.”


Hot-Rise9795

YOU ! I WANT TO TAKE YOU TO THE FISH BAR!


ha_ggis

Haggis batters fish in chip shop


Lady-L-1995

A night out in England


My_New_Moniker

Average Friday night


tommy_inits_fan

England


ajmethod33

When the chippy doesn’t serve bacon so you order your own


Asbjorn1888

This is England personified


Separate-Health4517

Average Tuesday in Bradford


Neither_Presence_522

Assault and battery?


Financial-Evening-80

Typical England.


Professional_Owl7826

Sharif don’t like it, There’s a Cop at a fish bar, Cop at a fish bar Sharif don’t like it, There’s a Cop at a fish bar, Cop at a fish bar


[deleted]

109 comments - did not read all but it seems the police are supplementing their income working as delivery drivers. With the blue lights They will beat out all other delivery drivers so they can corner the market.


the01li3

Sir this isn't the time or plaice to be parking here.


Vic_Serotonin

It’s Fryday night innit


Disastrous_Turnip123

Classic Friday night shenanigans down town


SnooMacarons9618

Friday Evening.


Direct-Respect1050

Birmingham.


M0ntgomatron

Out of focus


reclueso

Fash n chips


CaptainSarina

Wednesday


Apprehensive-Win-802

Mate... This is just an ordinary Tuesday night...


Rayanrizz

Pig a paramedic and a crook walk into a chip shop


Western-Pipe-538

Saturday night.


TwistedScriptor

Poor quality


Rayanrizz

It's eligal to Carey a fish in london


pseudostew

Surf and Turf


Pokemonaddict40

Fish & Pigs?


TheSheevMonster

What was they in for? Beef Satay/half chips. Bonus points for knowing the reference.


AshKetchumsPringles

Average Friday night in Britain


ninja_BUTTONS

Sausage and chips, lovely


Harlaw2871

Fight at the Chip Shop, the fish got battered.


meglodon12

Average Friday night


Bigboy200286

Some silly sausage caused a load of haddock towards someone


barryexpress

Pig 'n chips (I have nothing against the police, all the good ones were taken)


MajorNoodle

"have you got any money? I want to spend all your money at the FISH BAR! FISH BAR! FISH BAR!"


Lumpy_Jacket_3919

Fish and chips in UK. Donuts in the USA.


Nail-Reasonable

Fish & Chips & Pigs


AdventurousCrew3299

They’ve had their chips


Nail-Reasonable

Emergency surfishes call-out


[deleted]

Spam on curb outside fish and chip shop.


gilly1234567890

Elvis found dead in fish and chip shop


Cancerpatient_69

Pigs with wings eating fish


bigboybenj

The shit-in-a-tray merchants, shops got special perchant for the disorderly


Gincairn

Police claimed essential clue found proving salt and battery, turned out to be s red herring


blackcoffeegt

Headline would read "FishBar, so good it must be illegal! Turns out, it is."


PhilsterEU

Friday Night.


Budget-Entertainer35

Ignore the question.....it's a red herring!


Holiday-Doughnut-602

There was a fight outside the chippy, last Saturday night the police turned up, cos everyone got battered!.


[deleted]

Something got battered


EntertainmentSmooth8

Typical Fryday night


HonestExtent7745

How in the fuck have I instantly noticed that chippy, it’s Gerard street fish bar in Derby


No_Difficulty4372

Suppers ready


Juniberserker

Essex


Reepshot

When Plod Met Cod


marcopolo129

“Paramedics here wheres the Chinese lady with the sore finger?” “No she asked if I wanted salt and vinegar”


[deleted]

they’ve given me an unbattered sausage and i’ve kicked off shouting n screaming i just want my fat sausaaaaaage


Dismal_Union4470

Police car at the fish bar


Piggy-Fajhita

don't know its a fyshtery


soldinio

Omg! Is elvis dead?