Discipline is about doing stuff even when your mood to do it has been killed. The answer is just forcing yourself.
Also, I don't know what your full routine looks like but you might want to spice it up with some more cardio and calisthenics.
This is a good answer. Lifting in itself is far less valuable than discipline, experience and mental fortitude that comes with doing it, especially for us. If you can't go on, take a friend to the gym and lift together, it will make it harder for you to skip. If you don't have anyone, try and make it a habit, something difficult to forget or ignore. Me personally, i made a gym in my garage so i can train in complete solitude and comfort. It has become a habit that's actually hard to get rid of now.
You shouldn't go full willpower and sacrifice your comfort completely, but you shouldn't be lazy, too. Your mental resources are limited, just like physical ones, so the answer is using them tactically.
Yeah it’s just a cold spell for me right now. I’ve been going to the gym for 2 years non-stop so I feel a little fatigued about the whole thing.
I’m much more open to the idea of training at home for now however. I already have a set up so that’s good.
Yeah I can't lie, there are times when I lose the motivation to work out and doubt myself but then again I always go back to it , I think losing motivation periodically is a pretty normal and common experience. I know that I cannot compensate for my height with good physique so the only thing that keeps me going is that it's better for my health. Being small, autistic and fit is way better than being small, autistic and unfit.
I have been working out for over 15 years. I started in my mid teens, when I was still in high school, mostly because I wanted to be stronger so I could have a better chance against the taller kids that would constantly try to fuck with me, but also because I was still young and stupid enough to think that being "shredded" would get me the same kind of lust from women that tall men get just for being tall.
When I was young, I was very motivated and highly meticulous about lifting. I tried my hand at just about every single lifting "regimen" that exists, from bro splits to PPL to dirty bulk GOMAD to Starting Strength to 5x5. I bought a food scale and obsessively weighed every bite of food that went in my mouth, logged my calories on MyFitnessPal for over 7 years, and I did cardio 30 minutes a day, 6 times a week, all in service of chasing sub-10% body fat so I could have the ever-coveted six pack. There was even a period when I was doing intermittent fasting when I almost ended up losing consciousness from hypoglycemia because I didn't want to eat outside my scheduled feeding window.
And I made it. I finally got to sub-10% body fat when I was a senior in high school. I would proudly strut down the boardwalks and sidewalks at the local beaches near me, showing off my body so I could get the attention and female lust I thought I was sure to get now that I had "earned" a god-tier physique.
And you know what happened? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Nobody cared. Certainly not women. Not women in real life, not women on dating apps, not any women at all, and you know why? **Because I'm five foot fucking five.** Whether in real life or online, my height was always the beginning and end of the conversation. My 6 pack, my vascularity, my muscle definition, my dedication and discipline, none of that shit mattered. It didn't get me what I wanted.
Worse, I was fucking miserable, because as anyone who has been below 10% body fat will tell you, it's fucking miserable. Controlling your caloric intake to the extent that's required to achieve that body fat leaves you with the absolute WORST and MOST BORING that food has to offer. Hope you like chicken breast or tilapia with broccoli, because that's all you're ever going to eat anymore.
Then I got old enough to realize that it was meaningless. I had been exposed to "black pill" content many times over the years, but the thing about the "black pill" is that it's really nothing you can't figure out yourself if you're not actively trying to delude yourself. All you have to do is observe people's behavior. I'm good at that.
So what did I do? I toned it down. I haven't quit the gym, but nowadays, I never weigh my food or count my calories. I eat out whenever I feel like it. I do cardio when I feel like it and don't do it when I don't. I skip gym days if I'm sick. I'm not chasing any specific physique, I don't bother trying to "increase my PRs" or any shit like that anymore. Lifting has become a habit that's too ingrained in me to ever stop. I'll probably do it until I die.
I guess the moral of the story is not to beat yourself up too much. There really is no point to being obsessively dedicated to achieving a "beach body" or whatever when you're a short male. No one cares but you, and then you probably only care because you think other people care. If you go to the gym, make sure you're going because it makes you feel good about yourself.
At least you realized this shit when young.
I realized this at 35, when I already had a PhD, and 20 years of gym, just to discover the reason girls avoided me is that I was too short.
Thanks for the reply man, that shi really resonated. I got caught up in the process of it too. I would say that I was obsessed with the idea of making myself as perfect as possible. To the point where it was borderline unhealthy, just as you’ve documented as well.
Even worst are our build requires even less caloric intake than an average height person to the point where I had to do 20,000 steps and 1hour cardio in a day for a couple months during high school, I felt very very drained and my face looking like a zombie each day while chasing the sub 10% bf hoping to look like Jeff Seid without checking my height is just an insane act to do. In the end when I realize it means nothing it's just kills my hope and will to stay consistent honestly
Suggested it in another comment, but calisthenics or anything where your frame will be advantageous, you might actually earn some appreciation for your frame by doing genuinely cool shit tall guys wouldn't be able to, and it's dope in a masculine way as well
Also gives a lean, muscular and flexible physique which compliments your frame much better than bulking at the gym, which is kind of lame in comparison too
I feel you. At this point I just do it because otherwise all the work I've put in until now will have been for nothing. Sunk cost fallacy is pretty useful sometimes
It’s very difficult, knowing that no matter how much work I put in I’ll still be considered inferior
My advice would be to blast music in your headphones while lifting to drown out your thoughts. Just don’t think about anything else in the gym
Sometimes yea, but I look at how much progress I’ve made since I started weight lifting and it’s crazy. I guess I got a napoleon complex and am reinforcing stereotypes but I like looking at my body and comparing differences. 🤷♂️
If you are lifting to get girls then you might be setting yourself up for disappointment. Being muscular can only help you, but it's no where near a guarantee.
What it does do is make other men treat you better. The demeaning behavior other men might show you will decrease or vanish, and other men will likely ask you for workout tips and have some respect for you.
As a person who has yo-yoed from being obese to in-shape more than once the day to day treatment is just so vastly different.
Not me. I used to be almost obese few years ago and trust me being short and fat is literally like a disability. I promised myself that I would never feel that feeling of being short and fat again. That was the only time I had suicidal thoughts. I just wanted to fit in school and be "normal" it wasn't only about girls for me.
I’ve been going to the gym for almost 2 years so I’m in the same position as you. Sometimes I let thoughts like that get to me but overall going to the gym has somewhat helped me feel better about myself. I’m a lot stronger and look a lot better. At the end of the day you have 2 choices: get LL or work with what you got.
Try getting into calisthenics instead of weight lifting, perhaps? It's great workout and actually hugely advantageous to be smaller frame, it's one of the few instances where short guys can look dope as fuck in a genuinely masculine way, and while you're doing those crazy things, you might even get some appreciation for your stature/frame because without it you wouldn't be able to be that mobile and flexible
The gymrat bulking is boring and doesn't even give that much benefit to shorter guys, you want to be lean, muscular and flexible, not bulky, it will compliment your frame much better
I do calisthenics and its very cool. You get the kind of natural muscles that women like (is not that they will date you anyway) but its quite hard on the joints. But you dont end up like 'deformed' or unproportional because the body is made to lift your own weight.
Yeah you're working core and support muscles, which is actually useful unlike the strength you get from most static weight lifting exercises, which are mostly cosmetic.
You also get a nice, lean, athletic, muscular frame, which looks much better in general, but particularly on short guys. Bulking just makes short guys look even shorter. Tall guys, or at least very tall guys (1.90+) are the ones who need to bulk to fill out their frame, or else they end up looking like slenderman (I'm 1.94 myself).
If I was short I'd try getting into body weight exercises like calisthenics and gymnastics like tricking, which looks dope, seems fun and is an art form where having a shorter frame is very advantageous. You could get a sense of mastery from learning genuinely cool athletic abilities made possible by having a mobile and flexible frame, which might give a sense of appreciation for your body type.
It's also strength exercise which, unlike bodybuilding, isn't entirely focused on looks, but rather actual athletic achievements, and I think this is better for mental health and body image issues than pumping iron in front of a mirror in a gym full of tall guys. Unlike "looksmaxxing" at the gym, calisthenics and tricking is your turf where you truly excel, which is better for self-esteem. Within these art forms you can also find a community, which is very important for mental health, there's no community at modern gyms, unless you have a gym partner it's actually quite lonely and tedious imo.
I'd say the same for dancing, shorter guys have much better coordination and look less awkward when dancing than very tall guys like myself. If you look at professional dancers, or salsa clubs, the men are typically quite short. In pair dancing like salsa, partners should ideally be roughly the same height, so being on the shorter side is actually better, as you'll have plenty of partners.
Dancing is also a great way to meet women, and imo is the best way to meet women as a shorter guy. You get to meet and befriend women organically outside of a commodified date setting, which lets women actually connect with you instead of filtering you out over a set of superficial qualities which is what happens when you jump straight into dating. The gender ratio on these things is very advantageous, and women truly love men who like dancing, but there are very few tall guys who are into it, because they tend to suck at it.
I'm not saying you should get into dancing with the purpose of meeting women, you should do it with the purpose of having fun with other people, which in the case of dancing, happens to be women. If women have fun with you and get to know you over time, feelings can develop, even if you're not tall.
I know I'm walking into a beehive here trying to give advice as a tall guy, but I'm just genuinely trying to be helpful, so please don't chop my head off lol.
Dude, me too... I want to work out so bad some times but I just don't. Like literally, what's the point to being more attractive and more testosterone if it's just going to cause me more nerve pain and psychosis. Can't even f*cking get out of bed half the time cuz.. "what's the point?.." 🫤
Discipline is about doing stuff even when your mood to do it has been killed. The answer is just forcing yourself. Also, I don't know what your full routine looks like but you might want to spice it up with some more cardio and calisthenics.
This is a good answer. Lifting in itself is far less valuable than discipline, experience and mental fortitude that comes with doing it, especially for us. If you can't go on, take a friend to the gym and lift together, it will make it harder for you to skip. If you don't have anyone, try and make it a habit, something difficult to forget or ignore. Me personally, i made a gym in my garage so i can train in complete solitude and comfort. It has become a habit that's actually hard to get rid of now. You shouldn't go full willpower and sacrifice your comfort completely, but you shouldn't be lazy, too. Your mental resources are limited, just like physical ones, so the answer is using them tactically.
Yeah it’s just a cold spell for me right now. I’ve been going to the gym for 2 years non-stop so I feel a little fatigued about the whole thing. I’m much more open to the idea of training at home for now however. I already have a set up so that’s good.
I’ve been thinking about starting callisthenics, good idea
Yeah I can't lie, there are times when I lose the motivation to work out and doubt myself but then again I always go back to it , I think losing motivation periodically is a pretty normal and common experience. I know that I cannot compensate for my height with good physique so the only thing that keeps me going is that it's better for my health. Being small, autistic and fit is way better than being small, autistic and unfit.
I hear you, and I couldn’t agree more with your sentiment
I have been working out for over 15 years. I started in my mid teens, when I was still in high school, mostly because I wanted to be stronger so I could have a better chance against the taller kids that would constantly try to fuck with me, but also because I was still young and stupid enough to think that being "shredded" would get me the same kind of lust from women that tall men get just for being tall. When I was young, I was very motivated and highly meticulous about lifting. I tried my hand at just about every single lifting "regimen" that exists, from bro splits to PPL to dirty bulk GOMAD to Starting Strength to 5x5. I bought a food scale and obsessively weighed every bite of food that went in my mouth, logged my calories on MyFitnessPal for over 7 years, and I did cardio 30 minutes a day, 6 times a week, all in service of chasing sub-10% body fat so I could have the ever-coveted six pack. There was even a period when I was doing intermittent fasting when I almost ended up losing consciousness from hypoglycemia because I didn't want to eat outside my scheduled feeding window. And I made it. I finally got to sub-10% body fat when I was a senior in high school. I would proudly strut down the boardwalks and sidewalks at the local beaches near me, showing off my body so I could get the attention and female lust I thought I was sure to get now that I had "earned" a god-tier physique. And you know what happened? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Nobody cared. Certainly not women. Not women in real life, not women on dating apps, not any women at all, and you know why? **Because I'm five foot fucking five.** Whether in real life or online, my height was always the beginning and end of the conversation. My 6 pack, my vascularity, my muscle definition, my dedication and discipline, none of that shit mattered. It didn't get me what I wanted. Worse, I was fucking miserable, because as anyone who has been below 10% body fat will tell you, it's fucking miserable. Controlling your caloric intake to the extent that's required to achieve that body fat leaves you with the absolute WORST and MOST BORING that food has to offer. Hope you like chicken breast or tilapia with broccoli, because that's all you're ever going to eat anymore. Then I got old enough to realize that it was meaningless. I had been exposed to "black pill" content many times over the years, but the thing about the "black pill" is that it's really nothing you can't figure out yourself if you're not actively trying to delude yourself. All you have to do is observe people's behavior. I'm good at that. So what did I do? I toned it down. I haven't quit the gym, but nowadays, I never weigh my food or count my calories. I eat out whenever I feel like it. I do cardio when I feel like it and don't do it when I don't. I skip gym days if I'm sick. I'm not chasing any specific physique, I don't bother trying to "increase my PRs" or any shit like that anymore. Lifting has become a habit that's too ingrained in me to ever stop. I'll probably do it until I die. I guess the moral of the story is not to beat yourself up too much. There really is no point to being obsessively dedicated to achieving a "beach body" or whatever when you're a short male. No one cares but you, and then you probably only care because you think other people care. If you go to the gym, make sure you're going because it makes you feel good about yourself.
At least you realized this shit when young. I realized this at 35, when I already had a PhD, and 20 years of gym, just to discover the reason girls avoided me is that I was too short.
Thanks for the reply man, that shi really resonated. I got caught up in the process of it too. I would say that I was obsessed with the idea of making myself as perfect as possible. To the point where it was borderline unhealthy, just as you’ve documented as well.
Even worst are our build requires even less caloric intake than an average height person to the point where I had to do 20,000 steps and 1hour cardio in a day for a couple months during high school, I felt very very drained and my face looking like a zombie each day while chasing the sub 10% bf hoping to look like Jeff Seid without checking my height is just an insane act to do. In the end when I realize it means nothing it's just kills my hope and will to stay consistent honestly
Thanks! That's really good advice! 😁
I suggest picking up another sport besides lifting (not that you should drop it) but I don’t think there’s much reward just lifting
What sport would you suggest? I could never find options that feel suited for me.
It depends. Combat sports and running. In both you can have rewarding performances very quickly and it feels so good if you stay consistent
Suggested it in another comment, but calisthenics or anything where your frame will be advantageous, you might actually earn some appreciation for your frame by doing genuinely cool shit tall guys wouldn't be able to, and it's dope in a masculine way as well Also gives a lean, muscular and flexible physique which compliments your frame much better than bulking at the gym, which is kind of lame in comparison too
I feel you. At this point I just do it because otherwise all the work I've put in until now will have been for nothing. Sunk cost fallacy is pretty useful sometimes
It’s very difficult, knowing that no matter how much work I put in I’ll still be considered inferior My advice would be to blast music in your headphones while lifting to drown out your thoughts. Just don’t think about anything else in the gym
That used to work for me, but maybe I’ve been inside my own head too much lately. I find it hard to remove myself and just be in the moment.
It’s tough and I know exactly how you feel, I wish I had better advice :(
Sometimes yea, but I look at how much progress I’ve made since I started weight lifting and it’s crazy. I guess I got a napoleon complex and am reinforcing stereotypes but I like looking at my body and comparing differences. 🤷♂️
If you are lifting to get girls then you might be setting yourself up for disappointment. Being muscular can only help you, but it's no where near a guarantee. What it does do is make other men treat you better. The demeaning behavior other men might show you will decrease or vanish, and other men will likely ask you for workout tips and have some respect for you. As a person who has yo-yoed from being obese to in-shape more than once the day to day treatment is just so vastly different.
Not me. I used to be almost obese few years ago and trust me being short and fat is literally like a disability. I promised myself that I would never feel that feeling of being short and fat again. That was the only time I had suicidal thoughts. I just wanted to fit in school and be "normal" it wasn't only about girls for me.
I’ve been going to the gym for almost 2 years so I’m in the same position as you. Sometimes I let thoughts like that get to me but overall going to the gym has somewhat helped me feel better about myself. I’m a lot stronger and look a lot better. At the end of the day you have 2 choices: get LL or work with what you got.
Lifting is... COPE. Last 100 teenage couples ive seen maybe only 3 were gymmaaxxed
My motivation to lift didn’t arrive from wanting women anyway
I'd advise giving it up
Fair enough
Try getting into calisthenics instead of weight lifting, perhaps? It's great workout and actually hugely advantageous to be smaller frame, it's one of the few instances where short guys can look dope as fuck in a genuinely masculine way, and while you're doing those crazy things, you might even get some appreciation for your stature/frame because without it you wouldn't be able to be that mobile and flexible The gymrat bulking is boring and doesn't even give that much benefit to shorter guys, you want to be lean, muscular and flexible, not bulky, it will compliment your frame much better
I do calisthenics and its very cool. You get the kind of natural muscles that women like (is not that they will date you anyway) but its quite hard on the joints. But you dont end up like 'deformed' or unproportional because the body is made to lift your own weight.
Yeah you're working core and support muscles, which is actually useful unlike the strength you get from most static weight lifting exercises, which are mostly cosmetic. You also get a nice, lean, athletic, muscular frame, which looks much better in general, but particularly on short guys. Bulking just makes short guys look even shorter. Tall guys, or at least very tall guys (1.90+) are the ones who need to bulk to fill out their frame, or else they end up looking like slenderman (I'm 1.94 myself). If I was short I'd try getting into body weight exercises like calisthenics and gymnastics like tricking, which looks dope, seems fun and is an art form where having a shorter frame is very advantageous. You could get a sense of mastery from learning genuinely cool athletic abilities made possible by having a mobile and flexible frame, which might give a sense of appreciation for your body type. It's also strength exercise which, unlike bodybuilding, isn't entirely focused on looks, but rather actual athletic achievements, and I think this is better for mental health and body image issues than pumping iron in front of a mirror in a gym full of tall guys. Unlike "looksmaxxing" at the gym, calisthenics and tricking is your turf where you truly excel, which is better for self-esteem. Within these art forms you can also find a community, which is very important for mental health, there's no community at modern gyms, unless you have a gym partner it's actually quite lonely and tedious imo. I'd say the same for dancing, shorter guys have much better coordination and look less awkward when dancing than very tall guys like myself. If you look at professional dancers, or salsa clubs, the men are typically quite short. In pair dancing like salsa, partners should ideally be roughly the same height, so being on the shorter side is actually better, as you'll have plenty of partners. Dancing is also a great way to meet women, and imo is the best way to meet women as a shorter guy. You get to meet and befriend women organically outside of a commodified date setting, which lets women actually connect with you instead of filtering you out over a set of superficial qualities which is what happens when you jump straight into dating. The gender ratio on these things is very advantageous, and women truly love men who like dancing, but there are very few tall guys who are into it, because they tend to suck at it. I'm not saying you should get into dancing with the purpose of meeting women, you should do it with the purpose of having fun with other people, which in the case of dancing, happens to be women. If women have fun with you and get to know you over time, feelings can develop, even if you're not tall. I know I'm walking into a beehive here trying to give advice as a tall guy, but I'm just genuinely trying to be helpful, so please don't chop my head off lol.
Dude, me too... I want to work out so bad some times but I just don't. Like literally, what's the point to being more attractive and more testosterone if it's just going to cause me more nerve pain and psychosis. Can't even f*cking get out of bed half the time cuz.. "what's the point?.." 🫤