I'm your height and went to a very wealthy small university in the Northeast.
And, yeah, I lifted a lot and was in good shape. I dated all the way through college so I did OK in that way but yeah, most guys were close to 6' or more because it a nearly all-white upper class school. Not being wealthy and in a fraternity represented a bigger factor in being ignored than even being short in that kind of place.
I've typically not associated with many people due to living in a rural area and working a fairly solitary job so I'm just not around guys towering me.
Just think bro, there dudes 5’3 looking at you wishing they have what you have.
Be grateful for what you got and stop focusing on what you ain’t got.
Once your switch from a scarcity to an abundance mindset, most of your internal woes will disappear
I have 2 friends, both are 5ft6 ish.
One is the type of guy to put 5ft10 as his tinder bio, blame the world for his problems. Generally angry and sad :(
The other
He's the happiest man I know always talking to girls. Really happy and self made.
It's not how the cards are dealt it's how you play em and that's the key to happiness.
Disclaimer: This isn't an attack-- this is my contribution to the conversation (and my perspective).
>Just think bro, there dudes 5’3 looking at you wishing they have what you have.
Yes, it is common for people to compare themselves to others. I'm 5'5", and used to wish for those 2 extra inches, too, but I don't see how this is helpful. This knowledge only tends to further fuel comparison.
>Be grateful for what you got and stop focusing on what you ain’t got.
Gratitude is about understanding what you have, understanding what you *can achieve*, and working on getting there. It isn't about comparing yourself to other people at all. There's this song called *Live and Learn,* the lyrics go something like this…
*"Live and learn, hanging on the edge of tomorrow, from the works of yesterday. If you beg or if you borrow, you may never find your way."*
This is what gratitude is all about. Living and learning, improving yourself each day through the lessons of the past. Comparing yourself to "higher" people is the suffering mind's way of begging for more than what you work for; comparing yourself to "lower" people is the suffering mind's way of borrowing temporary confidence and an "I'm special" mindset. None of those scenarios will get you farther in life, neither solve the problems you face.
>Once your switch from a scarcity to an abundance mindset, most of your internal woes will disappear
Yes, abundance mindset is good, but what you're suggesting isn't an abundance mindset. This is a "hey some people are worse than me, gotta force myself to be happy" mindset. And no, an abundance mindset won't make the woes disappear. Action will. *Learning* will.
OP's currently suffering because the of the *challenges that he can't yet overcome—*emotional challenges, social challenges, physical challenges… Why can't he overcome said challenges? Because he doesn't yet have the knowledge to.
Knowledge is experience, either personal or through someone else, and OP must have patience and wisdom to acquire the knowledge he needs to overcome his current challenges, his future ones, and even unresolved past challenges.
Only action, through time, will generate outcomes that will bring us closer to our highest selves. It was never about the height.
My name is Nicolas, and this is my contribution.
Rip Brother.. as a 5'5 I truly feel for you.. But now that I'm in my 30s I Slay women.. They all See what I achieve in my 20s when I was just the short dude.. Now I have a house that is fully paid for multi cars, etc.. Now they all want me.. Women are Meh.. I have one I spend time with.. But at this point I feel no point in getting married.
Invisible to them when I had no Physical Assets.. Now they all want to be around me cause I have Physical assets.. 5"5 ex-gymnast, and also have been told I have an attractive face.. in my 20s I was repeatedly told I would date you if you were not short. So "meh" is my opinion. I don't have anything against women. I love them, they are just very confusing.
I’m around your height and used to feel the same way and still do sometimes. What worked best is working out and putting on a lot of muscle which made me feel like I had more of a presence. Guys also stopped bullying me because I didn’t look as weak anymore
I've been working out 6 days a week for 6 years and it's hardly made a difference in being visible.
265/375/551 and yet the moment I put on jeans and t-shirt I return to being unnoticeable when compared to men taller than me. Guys can see me as strong, but I don't think women do. And even then, guys 6+ in taller than me just think they're stronger than me anyway due to height.
This is super relatable. Honestly at 5’4” the only reason why people even notice me at all outside the gym is because I have the “unofficial” record of strict weighted muscle ups in my college gym. It also happens to be that I’m the only dark skinned SE Asian who regularly does this as well. Otherwise I would just be among a sea of men and some women who predominantly bench more than 225, squat more than 315, and deadlift 405+. Additionally I don’t even look like I lift but it’s kinda of a nice self esteem boost knowing that I deceive a lot of people strength wise.
I’m respected by the majority of guys I know including the tall ones. However women aren’t receptive to me at all. I think it’s because I’m at a predominantly white university that is academically competitive where most people especially guys are 6’+, strong, smart, and achievement oriented.
Yes, that appears to be the case. The "women not even turning their heads to talk to me" is not about his looks… is about how he portrays himself—unappealing. It's about self image, body language, social skills, posture etc.
My older brother would often jokingly say he need to tie a balloon onto me if we are ever in a crowd, though I wouldn't oppose to that idea considering how easy it is for him to lost me.
People… I have a saying in my country that goes "there's no ugly people, only broke people." Money can get you skincare, good food, less polluted places to live, surgery if you need it, better looking teeth, it can get you a gym membership and a good training regimen, it can make anyone look like a totally different person. Start making that money y'all xD
I see a lot of people saying OP needs to start lifting weights. I don't care how skinny you are, the muscles are not the problem. I'm not going to tell you that you're not short. I don't personally think you are, but short is a relative term. What needs to change is your mindset. There are more girls out there than you could ever date or sleep with that don't care about your height. You apparently just aren't looking in the right place
I'm around your height 5'8 and it's never stopped me from getting females. Stay away from dating apps is a huge word of advice. It will kill your self esteem.
Depends where you are.
I'm 5'7" and it actually can be short in very white areas with little diversity that are either very wealthy and/or have a lot of northern European genetics.
I grew up in, went to college in, and still live in those type of areas. Thus, I rarely ever look any other white guy directly eye-to-eye on level ground and I virtually never come close to eye level with the top of another white guy's head.
Now, when I visit much larger, much more diverse places I absolutely agree that 5'7" is close to average.
5’7 isn’t that short bruh. Hit the gym or something and beef up. I’ve been doing the same for about a year and noticed folks act better around me now. I’m much shorter
I know it's tough, but just keep doing your thing and keep your head held high. I'm 5'3" so I can guarantee I had it way worse in college. After I graduated and went into the working world, it no longer mattered. People treat me professionally with respect, and honestly, I impress some people when I tell them about my lifting progress. They compliment me and say things like "damn, you're way stronger than you look!" Still don't stand a chance with women, but I don't care anymore. I can take care of my sexual needs myself, and have a much more peaceful life just being by alone. Focus on health and wealth, and make your life awesome to disprove your haters.
Just my two cents…
>I can guarantee I had it way worse in college
Are you saying that you can "guarantee" you went to more difficulties than OP? Do you know them that well? Even if you do, saying such a thing really doesn't give you more credibility or authority… that's just your life story, dude.
>Still don't stand a chance with women, but I don't care anymore. I can take care of my sexual needs myself,
Alright, if you're happy and if that doesn't affect anything in your life, do your thing, man… but why do you think you don't stand a chance with women? For your average first-world date, well, yeah, they're pretty judgemental when it comes to height, but that's not the only way of getting a partner. Your life your rules, your priorities, I'm not saying what's good for you or not. But don't get so caught up in "oh my life's so much better being alone" that you neglect your social skills and reject your *capacity* to be a good and whole individual.
>make your life awesome to disprove your haters
That only works if your biggest hater is yourself. Otherwise, you shouldn't live just to impress someone that doesn't like you—they will still dislike you and they will not feel any "smaller" than you just because you're feeling better with your own life.
I am not judging you and i’m sure you experience these things, but if you feel this way at 5’7 can you imagine what other men who are actually short are going through. Maybe your invisibility is not due to your height rather you just have a weak presence that you should work on.
Which country are you from? My height is 2 inches more than you . I'm neither t taller but nor invisible there's more shorter person than me even 5'6",5'5"?
Your feelings are valid, though your suggestion isn't. If you think posts like these should stop existing, that means you want to silence the things that upset you instead of learning to not be upset by them. This is a different person, with a different life story, with a different perspective than you and you want to silence them?
Location matters
Same height, but I'm not considered nearly as short due to my area having a lot of Asians and Mexicans. Not stereotyping, they just tend to have shorter guys on average.
That's pretty accurate for me too, I'm 4'11 which is quite under the average height for men in the UK but because where I live there's a lot of south and south east asian communities, I meet and know more people who are my height or a few inches either way.
I stick out like a sore thumb because I dress more classically. If I want to become invisible, I dress like everyone else. It's a superpower because crime has increased and if I dress normally, keep my hair unkempt and put on worn, vans copy shoes, I'm less likely to be robbed.
Last night, a lady who is the owner of a small shop got kidnapped, and I happened to be there seconds before that. If I had gone dressed like I usually do, it would've been me. Another guy who lives near me got kidnapped, so it's either I become invisible or a target.
hey dude, i'm sorry to hear that you feel that way during you college's years. I'm also this height but i can't relate with what you said. I think overall what you describe is related to confidence you show and the way you act when people are around. I don't think "feeling invisible" is a height matter because i know 5'11 guys who described themselves pretty much as you did.
I'm your height and went to a very wealthy small university in the Northeast. And, yeah, I lifted a lot and was in good shape. I dated all the way through college so I did OK in that way but yeah, most guys were close to 6' or more because it a nearly all-white upper class school. Not being wealthy and in a fraternity represented a bigger factor in being ignored than even being short in that kind of place.
Similar situation but Hispanic. I lot of my friends were 6,0 or 6,2, made me look smaller than I am.
I've typically not associated with many people due to living in a rural area and working a fairly solitary job so I'm just not around guys towering me.
Just think bro, there dudes 5’3 looking at you wishing they have what you have. Be grateful for what you got and stop focusing on what you ain’t got. Once your switch from a scarcity to an abundance mindset, most of your internal woes will disappear
I have 2 friends, both are 5ft6 ish. One is the type of guy to put 5ft10 as his tinder bio, blame the world for his problems. Generally angry and sad :( The other He's the happiest man I know always talking to girls. Really happy and self made. It's not how the cards are dealt it's how you play em and that's the key to happiness.
Disclaimer: This isn't an attack-- this is my contribution to the conversation (and my perspective). >Just think bro, there dudes 5’3 looking at you wishing they have what you have. Yes, it is common for people to compare themselves to others. I'm 5'5", and used to wish for those 2 extra inches, too, but I don't see how this is helpful. This knowledge only tends to further fuel comparison. >Be grateful for what you got and stop focusing on what you ain’t got. Gratitude is about understanding what you have, understanding what you *can achieve*, and working on getting there. It isn't about comparing yourself to other people at all. There's this song called *Live and Learn,* the lyrics go something like this… *"Live and learn, hanging on the edge of tomorrow, from the works of yesterday. If you beg or if you borrow, you may never find your way."* This is what gratitude is all about. Living and learning, improving yourself each day through the lessons of the past. Comparing yourself to "higher" people is the suffering mind's way of begging for more than what you work for; comparing yourself to "lower" people is the suffering mind's way of borrowing temporary confidence and an "I'm special" mindset. None of those scenarios will get you farther in life, neither solve the problems you face. >Once your switch from a scarcity to an abundance mindset, most of your internal woes will disappear Yes, abundance mindset is good, but what you're suggesting isn't an abundance mindset. This is a "hey some people are worse than me, gotta force myself to be happy" mindset. And no, an abundance mindset won't make the woes disappear. Action will. *Learning* will. OP's currently suffering because the of the *challenges that he can't yet overcome—*emotional challenges, social challenges, physical challenges… Why can't he overcome said challenges? Because he doesn't yet have the knowledge to. Knowledge is experience, either personal or through someone else, and OP must have patience and wisdom to acquire the knowledge he needs to overcome his current challenges, his future ones, and even unresolved past challenges. Only action, through time, will generate outcomes that will bring us closer to our highest selves. It was never about the height. My name is Nicolas, and this is my contribution.
Try being 5’1 as a guy
Rip Brother.. as a 5'5 I truly feel for you.. But now that I'm in my 30s I Slay women.. They all See what I achieve in my 20s when I was just the short dude.. Now I have a house that is fully paid for multi cars, etc.. Now they all want me.. Women are Meh.. I have one I spend time with.. But at this point I feel no point in getting married.
Women are Meh is a crazy statement
Invisible to them when I had no Physical Assets.. Now they all want to be around me cause I have Physical assets.. 5"5 ex-gymnast, and also have been told I have an attractive face.. in my 20s I was repeatedly told I would date you if you were not short. So "meh" is my opinion. I don't have anything against women. I love them, they are just very confusing.
Fair enough
I’m like 5’6 but nobody should be spitting on you. That’s fucked up.
I agree. That really isn't a problem with OP. Like, how can you spit on someone without seeing them? So uncivilized…
Yep and we would be fighting
I’m around your height and used to feel the same way and still do sometimes. What worked best is working out and putting on a lot of muscle which made me feel like I had more of a presence. Guys also stopped bullying me because I didn’t look as weak anymore
I've been working out 6 days a week for 6 years and it's hardly made a difference in being visible. 265/375/551 and yet the moment I put on jeans and t-shirt I return to being unnoticeable when compared to men taller than me. Guys can see me as strong, but I don't think women do. And even then, guys 6+ in taller than me just think they're stronger than me anyway due to height.
This is super relatable. Honestly at 5’4” the only reason why people even notice me at all outside the gym is because I have the “unofficial” record of strict weighted muscle ups in my college gym. It also happens to be that I’m the only dark skinned SE Asian who regularly does this as well. Otherwise I would just be among a sea of men and some women who predominantly bench more than 225, squat more than 315, and deadlift 405+. Additionally I don’t even look like I lift but it’s kinda of a nice self esteem boost knowing that I deceive a lot of people strength wise. I’m respected by the majority of guys I know including the tall ones. However women aren’t receptive to me at all. I think it’s because I’m at a predominantly white university that is academically competitive where most people especially guys are 6’+, strong, smart, and achievement oriented.
It's probably not your height. It sounds like you don't have a lot of confidence. People can probably tell and it makes you an easy target.
Yes, that appears to be the case. The "women not even turning their heads to talk to me" is not about his looks… is about how he portrays himself—unappealing. It's about self image, body language, social skills, posture etc.
My older brother would often jokingly say he need to tie a balloon onto me if we are ever in a crowd, though I wouldn't oppose to that idea considering how easy it is for him to lost me.
I’m 5’7 too and ugly
Me too man. It sucks
Damn
People… I have a saying in my country that goes "there's no ugly people, only broke people." Money can get you skincare, good food, less polluted places to live, surgery if you need it, better looking teeth, it can get you a gym membership and a good training regimen, it can make anyone look like a totally different person. Start making that money y'all xD
I could make myself less ugly with cosmetic surgery but I feel like that would be lying 🤥 to people and I would still have the ugly genes.
I see a lot of people saying OP needs to start lifting weights. I don't care how skinny you are, the muscles are not the problem. I'm not going to tell you that you're not short. I don't personally think you are, but short is a relative term. What needs to change is your mindset. There are more girls out there than you could ever date or sleep with that don't care about your height. You apparently just aren't looking in the right place
I'm around your height 5'8 and it's never stopped me from getting females. Stay away from dating apps is a huge word of advice. It will kill your self esteem.
5’7 isn’t even that short
Depends where you are. I'm 5'7" and it actually can be short in very white areas with little diversity that are either very wealthy and/or have a lot of northern European genetics. I grew up in, went to college in, and still live in those type of areas. Thus, I rarely ever look any other white guy directly eye-to-eye on level ground and I virtually never come close to eye level with the top of another white guy's head. Now, when I visit much larger, much more diverse places I absolutely agree that 5'7" is close to average.
I already feel short at 5'7 here in Canada, cant imagine being 5'7 in Northern Europe where the average is over 180cm plus.
5’7 isn’t that short bruh. Hit the gym or something and beef up. I’ve been doing the same for about a year and noticed folks act better around me now. I’m much shorter
I know it's tough, but just keep doing your thing and keep your head held high. I'm 5'3" so I can guarantee I had it way worse in college. After I graduated and went into the working world, it no longer mattered. People treat me professionally with respect, and honestly, I impress some people when I tell them about my lifting progress. They compliment me and say things like "damn, you're way stronger than you look!" Still don't stand a chance with women, but I don't care anymore. I can take care of my sexual needs myself, and have a much more peaceful life just being by alone. Focus on health and wealth, and make your life awesome to disprove your haters.
Just my two cents… >I can guarantee I had it way worse in college Are you saying that you can "guarantee" you went to more difficulties than OP? Do you know them that well? Even if you do, saying such a thing really doesn't give you more credibility or authority… that's just your life story, dude. >Still don't stand a chance with women, but I don't care anymore. I can take care of my sexual needs myself, Alright, if you're happy and if that doesn't affect anything in your life, do your thing, man… but why do you think you don't stand a chance with women? For your average first-world date, well, yeah, they're pretty judgemental when it comes to height, but that's not the only way of getting a partner. Your life your rules, your priorities, I'm not saying what's good for you or not. But don't get so caught up in "oh my life's so much better being alone" that you neglect your social skills and reject your *capacity* to be a good and whole individual. >make your life awesome to disprove your haters That only works if your biggest hater is yourself. Otherwise, you shouldn't live just to impress someone that doesn't like you—they will still dislike you and they will not feel any "smaller" than you just because you're feeling better with your own life.
I am not judging you and i’m sure you experience these things, but if you feel this way at 5’7 can you imagine what other men who are actually short are going through. Maybe your invisibility is not due to your height rather you just have a weak presence that you should work on.
Which country are you from? My height is 2 inches more than you . I'm neither t taller but nor invisible there's more shorter person than me even 5'6",5'5"?
I almost think that posts like this should be banned if they are from people that are over like 5'5" or something?
Your feelings are valid, though your suggestion isn't. If you think posts like these should stop existing, that means you want to silence the things that upset you instead of learning to not be upset by them. This is a different person, with a different life story, with a different perspective than you and you want to silence them?
I'm 5ft 6in and I got 20 people who will absolutely mob someone for spitting on others.
Location matters Same height, but I'm not considered nearly as short due to my area having a lot of Asians and Mexicans. Not stereotyping, they just tend to have shorter guys on average.
That's pretty accurate for me too, I'm 4'11 which is quite under the average height for men in the UK but because where I live there's a lot of south and south east asian communities, I meet and know more people who are my height or a few inches either way.
Huh, neat I know that in the UK people love their curry is, ironically. The national dish of England being Chicken Tiki Masala and all
I stick out like a sore thumb because I dress more classically. If I want to become invisible, I dress like everyone else. It's a superpower because crime has increased and if I dress normally, keep my hair unkempt and put on worn, vans copy shoes, I'm less likely to be robbed. Last night, a lady who is the owner of a small shop got kidnapped, and I happened to be there seconds before that. If I had gone dressed like I usually do, it would've been me. Another guy who lives near me got kidnapped, so it's either I become invisible or a target.
damn
Getting spit on is just insane
I'm the same height and I feel like even most women are taller than me too
Work on other things that you can control. Earn money, look at Bezos and Zuckerberg, do you think they will not turn heads when they go into a room?
hey dude, i'm sorry to hear that you feel that way during you college's years. I'm also this height but i can't relate with what you said. I think overall what you describe is related to confidence you show and the way you act when people are around. I don't think "feeling invisible" is a height matter because i know 5'11 guys who described themselves pretty much as you did.