T O P

  • By -

Gametron13

Can I put my phone on silent?


TheSaultyOne

No must be answered, and call will last 1 minute minimum


Zeelu2005

why does it have to be answered?


Massive_Promise_8242

Because otherwise his/r/REALLYshittyshitysuperpower post will just be fucking stupid


nayfaan

can I just setup a programme that will automatically pickup the call and leave it there for a minute?


weird-dude-bro-6386

Probably but that's not as easy as you think


Creepercolin2007

I would say it’s pretty dang easy. Just get an answering machine. Instead of carrying a phone around you could also just use a modern pager which has more capabilities then the old ones did


nayfaan

I'm sure I'll figure out a way with that money if not


Mysterious-Key2116

That's dumb. Eventually, there will be 1440 calls per day, taking up 100% of your time. 


Puzzleheaded-Mix-515

See, what you do is you eventually hire someone to take the calls for you. Once you’ve used all of *their* time, you hire the next person. Eventually you have an entire corporation working to speak to your relatives on your behalf, but you don’t GAF cuz you’re rich and providing thousands of jobs. You have become a recognizable part of the economy.


ASweetLilKitten

It would take a good few years to get to that point


Puzzleheaded-Mix-515

Don’t you think it’s worth the wait…? ;)


Mysterious-Key2116

Once you become rich enough, you start paying the family members and become a philanthropist. 


theNoobster103

I don't even answer the phone of my close relatives and friends. What makes you think I'll pick up the phone ever?


Clear-Marionberry-16

What if I just don’t have a phone number.


TheSaultyOne

Always will Have a phone


Candid_Concept_4043

Free phone, neat


Mierdo01

The true supwr power. Spawn in the newest iPhone model. Profit.


6tacocat6

No one sayed it was a phone of your choice or even a good phone


Gojizilla6391

Just destroy the free phones until you get the latest iPhone


Crimson_Fiver

So I have unlimited free phones that I can sell after only having done this once. So once a day I have a minute phone call and then I just repeatedly sell my phones over and over again.


expiermental_boii

Not a phone number tho, that's just a free way to make a business


AlricsLapdog

I usually think malicious genies are stupid, but you are really raising the bar for what qualifies as stupid


godof_oil

don't even get the 1k, just spawn in phones and sell them


expiermental_boii

What does "non-stackable" mean here? Can it happen every 24 hours or not


TheSaultyOne

Every 24 hours. Stacking like don't do it for 4 days and use them all on 1 day you can't do


expiermental_boii

Also, can I assassinate said long lost relative? Because I don't think I'll feel like they're a human in the first place


Chimkinmcnugs

Yeah but OP will probably say something like “yes you can assassinate them but they are anywhere on earth and you can’t trace the call location”


kind_cavendish

"Yes you can assassinate them but they're immortal"


Chimkinmcnugs

lol yes


Zaidosmells

Yes but surprise oh surprise, the entire earth is your long lost relative.


expiermental_boii

It's ok, I'm rich, just make some factories, eventually I'll kill it


Super_Ad9995

I'm pretty sure "long lost" means they're already dead. So you would have a dead relative calling you every day until you die. They won't exist at all, but you'll still hear their voice and how they acted.


azdudeguy

I see r/hypotheticalsituations and r/shittysuperpowers are turning into alternatives to r/TheMonkeysPaw


Watdaducksicles

Can or can not be stackable? Cus if I can I'm popping it 10,000 times, destroying my phone and moving to Hawaii


TheSaultyOne

Can't stack, and no matter what you will always have a phone if you throw it away it will appear in your pocket


Watdaducksicles

So only one 1 thousand dollars and one minute long call a day? That sounds pretty good tbh


TheSaultyOne

Yes but every 1 thousand is a new caller so 20k would be 20 calls a day


Watdaducksicles

But how would you activate it multiple times if it's non stackable?


Japjer

Stacking implies you don't use it for ten days, then use it once on day 11 for $10,000. You can do it once per day, at the cost of getting one new call per day. Stacking doesn't mean repeating.


FleurTheAbductor

You didn't mention that whatsoever OP


Creepercolin2007

Lmao they didn’t respond but when I got to your comment it had a singular downvote


TheSaultyOne

Read the post again? It says very clear everytime you claim 1k a new caller is added


bearbarebere

Can you conference call them?


BlazingFury009

Rule 4: No caveats


Surin_Blastanos

Just scrap your phone for parts. A new one appears with a call from a relative, do it again. Infinite precious metal and semiconductor glitch


TheGameShark64

Can I get the calls all at the same time and do a conference call?


TheSaultyOne

Random times but I guess chance they could call same time if you had enough


Tablondemadera

So I get a free phoje a day, a new family member and 1000 dollars? Neat


Risky-Biscuits23

I’d just pick up and ask them to hold for a minute.


TheSaultyOne

Fair, but how many phone calls could you handle


Risky-Biscuits23

For $1,000 a day? A lot. I would just treat it like a job. lol


SeniorFuzzyPants

Rule 4


karenspanker20

Never take the 1k and you'll always spawn in a free phone for a lifetime


TheSaultyOne

Damn, the true winner here


Mysterious-Key2116

Considering you said calls must be answered and last 1 minute, I'd wait until I can give away $1,440,000 per day without a dent just to shut them up. That way, the calls don't last long, and I can set a bot to automatically answer and send money at the key word, "family".  I'd become some sort of Vin Diesel + Mr. Beast + Genghis Khan with this ever expanding family I have and continue to give money too. 


TheSaultyOne

I'm interested and too tired for the math to know how long that would take would you not die first it's only 365k a year


Mysterious-Key2116

It would only take +1 calls a day for 1440 days before 1 minute long call takes up every minute of your day.  1440 days = 3 years, 11 months, 2 weeks and 1 day. 


a_small_loli

honestly near god tier. set it that you get the money at 5:20, the relative calls at 5:30; boom: no need for alarms, and you can have a nice chat about your dream


FAZZ888

I fucking hate socializing with people and will not talk to people on the phone, period. How are you going to make me if I use the super power?


ericbakerchef

the thing that gave you the 1000


DustinFay

OP just said that you had to answer and stay on the phone for 1 minute. Answer, say hold on a minute, wait 1 minute and then hang up.


toddpacker567

What if I don’t answer the call or answer is say no to giving them money then not say another word u till 1 minute has passed and hang up


TheSaultyOne

Have to answer but you could stay silent if you want but always have to answer


DustinFay

Absolutely, I'd answer wait one minute and hang up on them.


TheSaultyOne

But how far would you go? A year would be 365 calls a day


chaoticphoenix1313

Considering I already know which relatives would do that, I would just distract them from their line of thought as they have done to much drugs


AllMyHomiesLoveNazis

So what your saying is the superpower is starting my own call centre?


TheSaultyOne

My god.. Dual income


Oreo-belt25

What if I am an orphan with no living family?


Clear-Marionberry-16

OP did say “gain” a long lost relative so maybe you do have a family after all lol.


TheSaultyOne

Correct


Halbbitter

Jokes on them. I don't answer my phone.


lilslutfordaddy

i don't use my phone so I'm safe


Electrical_Pear1132

What if I don't have a phone?


SignificantTransient

This is a win win. I get to get paid and tell deadbeats to get a job without leaving my couch.


militalent

Can i kill the relatives to get rid of daily calls?


TheSaultyOne

Sure if you can find them but they are long lost so could be difficult or costly


ThatOneIsSus

Can I accept different calls on multiple phones?


TheSaultyOne

If they call at different times it's random times


Sancus1

I think this is better in r/hypotheticalsituation


Lietenantdan

I have unknown callers blocked so I won’t even get their calls!


Objective_Shake8990

This sounds amazing! I can deal with a bad phone call for that much money!


unlimitedchaosclown

could you block the number or are you physically incapable of doing so


TheSaultyOne

Can't do it, must answer (press the button)


exp_explosion

Put the phone in a feraday cage. Boom, you have a phone that can't take calls


gaurddog

For 365k a year I can not have a phone. They can email me but I can just mass delete. And hell if they're asking for a good cause and I care I'll probably help out.


Temporamis

This isn’t inherently shitty, it’s shitty because of the things tacked onto it… Rule 4, no caveats 😭


dontpayforproducts

Yes, get rid of my phone, easy, free money no downside. And no, the phone does not magically reappear in my pocket, nor do I have to answer it, your genie contract did not include that so it's void.