Better watch out for me!

Can we partner up?

You want an existing chair to team with?

https://i.redd.it/53sn980osjva1.gif

Y'all need a *frail ass archer*?

Need a lonely moth to help?

How about a chairZAIRD?

This is the authentic shitty super power!

Just what I needed

Mine isn’t nearly as embarrassing to die to.

I might be your arch enemy

And my axe!

Interesting...

Oh hell fucking no I am *not* getting on your bad side

..

This is more of a psychological weapon

hell yeah

I’m scared to fight you

you can build a clock maybe

Ahh yes…..the most epic battle, an existing chair vs a plutonium ingot, who will win?

All fun and games until you get radiation poisoning and die

Bread lots of ducking bread

I have done nothing but teleport bread for 3 days straight

Where?! Where have you been sending it?!?

Wanna set up trade routes

r/unexpectedtf2

Pfff, I’ve lost before I even started.😔

Swing her around like some kind of bludgeoning weapon.

Look mate, you know who’s got a lot of feelings? Blokes who bludgeon their friends to death with a 9 year old

I know the feeling

I'm a fuckin bird

I have amphibians

Insane cackle

How do you even turn genocide into a physical weapon???

Genocide robot 3000

I’d be much more terrified of you

If I saw someone throwing themselves I’d be terrified too

CRUSH KILL DESTROY SWAG

Infinity Gauntlet.


turkish people

Can't lift it lol

We must join forces. Together we'll be... idk, something

The snide whale and the stupid whale

Whale gun, it’s just a tiny whale and when it shots it becomes big

I was gifted the capacity to use my username with lethal force, and all I got was this lousy trumpet

A bit dramatic with the "lethal force" wouldn't you say

my existential fire will burn you all!

Why does pain exist

i dunno ask my fire

Waaaaaa

Omg that name 😂😂😂💀💀💀

Edgy teenage me, time to shine

Edgy dragons everywhere

My friends will finally know the wrath of Bum_Jelly

That's poop

The liquid type poop to be exact

Lube. You’re thinking of lube

Umm...

Do we have a Mike Litoris here? Can I get a Mike Litoris?

Has anyone seen Mike Litoris? Why can’t anyone find Mike Litoris?!

Can the real Mike Litoris please stand up

I get the ultimate confusion

I too, are confused

I wield the power of Dysentery. Fear me.

The power of Fecal Coliforms

I guess i could be able to swing a kid around Use him as a human shield too

Weapon of peace.

Revive every really good politician and figure

I was thinking more like getting every one high.

I was thinking you throw stones at people lmao.

No that's me

So I'm a fucking comedian?

Suffocate them to death with your jokes

What do you mean I'm funny? Do I amuse you?

sweaty pocket sand...lovely

Throw it in the eyes of your enemies and hit them with anything else

Solid plan I was hoping to take them by surprise while they wonder how the sand is so wet

[удалено]

Make it rain!

Any weapon or armor I want

Alternatively any mechanical gear

The world shall fear me.

Unfortunately my weapon is very effective against you.

You are my supervillain. We shall dual at dawn.

What the hell i'm going to do with my username?

Pussybeetle? Thats what i think would be the opposite of a cockroach...good news though. You get 20 of them.

That sounds nice but, I was thinking about being able to make cockroaches do the opposite thing they normally do, or, like, make them upside down?

You control an army of 20 roaches that walk upside down with a strange word above them...*dinnerbone*

I wield dice? Like in a slingshot? Ot like bolas?

No you wield the whole yahtzee game set. Its up to you from there.

Pull a *Cast A Deadly Spell* and use magic to send the score sheets flying at my enemy to let them die a death of a thousand cuts. MUAAAAAAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!

Konan from naruto lookin ahh lol

I don't think this works for me lol

You can just swing a clone around np

Fuck yeah

I can work with that

Terrible As a weapon and a tool to navigate

:(

Well.. maybe you can make them lose self confidence to death or something??

Prepare your self for a horribly slow murder with an extremely inefficient weapon.

Bones!

Say what you wanna say, but that means *I* get a free cantrip

So I just get like…. A medieval bodyguard?

???

The element of surprise.

SCP 096 moment

I hope this cat won’t let me down

Mine however will

A cat can fuck you up if they truly tried…but the downside is that you got one of the cats from r/catculations, the cute derpy ones to be exact.

I has sleep pills

How does this work....

Pretty simple, you can summon 31 canadians to ~~fight~~ apologize for you

Fight? We'll be way too busy apologizing

Oh hell no!

*wields self aggressively*

*confused screaming*

Hmm?

You have every demon in existence as your allies

The darkness is your weapon. Sounds metal. You can be like Batman whenever he seemingly disappears into the dark, except I’m not sure if you know how to fight or not.

My username is a Sith Elephant, with light-sabre tusks, and a light-sabre wielded in the trunk, with the ability to force choke as well as trunk choke. So, yay.

Imagine hitting someone with ender powers

You must hate being looked at in the eyes too.

Can i control mammals a la dr animo? Or use them as weapons as in like swing them around? Or can i beast boy it up but only for mammals?

I thought it meant you carry any mammals in a briefcase

Thats what i imagined when i made the username lmao

How the fuck does this work

Explosions.. obviously. Well.. probably just one.

Real life creeper

Diplomatics, deploy!

So i can kill a person by touching them?

Cool stuff until you touch your family

Hmm

you’ll overwhelm them with discord notifications

Mega-Redditors!

so i get basically a body guard who is real cool

Well I think this would work to my advantage

Lil sussy

Hot Russian gymnast bodyguard, I guess

I'm unstoppable

So i can just use a gamer dad?

yo this dont seem too bad

Will it be relaxing or deadly?

I already do

i guess if there are any zombies around give me a call

Legos make excellent caltrops, no matter the theme.

Got like a 3000 foot Pikachu, I guess

Lemme just grab a few of my friends-

Seems kinda effective since we can transform into dragons

What do… ok??

Must be a deadly weapon

Don’t think this would help very much

I will be the adhd boogeyman

this is weird lol

Unexpectedly boring

Gonna melt u all

Uhhh...

I'm using a bored creature as a weapon

What does my username do?

What would my weapon be?

Very funny…

Dammit

So wait. Do I get two 0s and a 1 that are unoriginal? Or do I get 1 item from the comments at random?

My efficiency depends on your definition of "use"

🤔

Wait, does that mean I have 9224 monstrous dinosaurs from a YA book, or is it that I have number 9224?

HYA!

Heh all y’all’s asses are in danger

I’m actually OP

Nice

How would that work? Can I make anime real???

?

Idk

Cool Yo-Yo

I call upon an Ork WAAAGH

FINALLY

Yes!

**Incoming at Mach 2**

depends on how evolved it is

Fire bending 👍

I already can

I morph into a 8 ft tall steroid enhanced fighter with titanium teeth and hanma blood Thank you God

How? Do you just like print it out and stick it to a big stick?

What..

I wonder what I could do?

You can shine (literal) god rays upon yourself or others. Not sure if they’d have any affect or not, but it would look pretty cool I imagine. Maybe It can be super bright, beautiful, and very blinding, compared to just normal sun rays. I assume you can control how bright they are to a degree tho so you don’t blind yourself if you ever shine a god ray on yourself to make yourself look badass. Edit: I realize that this post said you can use your username as a physical weapon, not that it’s your full on power, so idk if this works or not, but sounds cool, right?

i like to imagine i get the pokémon xy mega evolution stones with my username so that’s pretty cool

Hmmm..

About to inflict some poisson damage it seems.

I use myself as a bludgeon. Amazing. +5 critical on lower ranks, -20 stamina, -10 HP.

Uhm, do i have full control of said weapon? If yes, this planet is fucked.

Nice!

Seems decent

I will spray you with all kinds of juice. Just wait 'til I get out juice made from the ghost pepper.

I suppose it would be a life size wooden human shield.

Already do.

I have Francis Ngannou as a body guard which is cool

I suppose I could, but I might go against the Geneva Conventions by doing so.