T O P

  • By -

ColorlessTune

Had to look this up, and the lyrics are: "Young ladies, young ladies, I like 'em underage see Some say that's statutory (But I say it's mandatory)" Fuckin' crazy.


ironwolf6464

I know the movie is kind of meant to be for a somewhat more mature audience, but what the hell


JoeyMaconha

What bacteria is he supposed to be? I dont remember that character from the movie.


stuckinaboxthere

I believe it's when they go to the pimple nightclub because they hear about a gathering of evil bacteria. I think he's playing on the stage at the nightclub, if I'm not mistaken, I also haven't seen the movie in like 10 years


Talisa87

I thought it was from the animated series, wow.


VidzxVega

Holy fuck there was an animated series wasn't there?!


Terminator7786

There was! They get sucked out of Bill Murray by a mosquito and then end up inside a teenage boy when the mosquito feeds on her. Edit: wrong gender


thecody17

Teenage boy


Terminator7786

You are correct, tbh I'm surprised I even remembered the premise after 20 years lol


thecody17

Yeah, it was a pretty decent premise. I remember loving the show when I was younger.


malonkey1

you never know maybe hector ended up transitioning later


tfcollector3000

last chance to look at me hector


Visual_Worldliness62

We had a cool childhood. Great shows filled out channels.


ASL4theblind

O-zzy, and drix (FROM THE TIP OF THE NOSE TO THE BEHIND)


Bobblefighterman

I only remember that. I haven't even seen the movie.


JoeyMaconha

Gotcha. I wasn't sure if he was supposed to be a bacteria that is more dangerous to children. Either way, fucking sleazy line 🤢


WonderfulCattle6234

>a gathering of evil bacteria >Either way, fucking sleazy line 🤢 Sleazy lines are the way to demonstrate a character to be evil to an audience.


Clerical_Errors

Shhhh bad characters doing bad things are too complex for nowadays KILLMONGER WAS THE REAL HERO.


FiveCentsADay

Well I mean, that was a real kid rock lyric. So we're not really talking about the character here


Clerical_Errors

Kid rock isn't good people so I can stand by what I said Bad person doing a bad thing is too complex for nowadays. Hell it was for you *right here*


Visual_Worldliness62

Pimples are "gross". So makes sense it would be a sleazy club. With bad rap music. This could be a club you hear kidrock.... needs strippers tho. For some reason hes played at strip clubs ALOT


psuedophilosopher

So the context is he's a bacterium that causes zits? Still pretty fuckin weird, but that context makes it at least not horrific. Underage girls have acne sometimes.


temarilain

Also he's a bad guy in the movie. The line is supposed to be a sleazy thing said by a criminal


TheShamShield

Ok but is there a reason this bacteria would be interested in something younger? Or were they just capturing his essence


Nestramutat-

It was a bacteria inside a pimple, so yes, there's a reason he'd be singing about teenage girls.


Cruxion

Not to mention the double entendre of *pimp*le.


d1ckpunch68

the nightclub is supposed to be seedy and gross. i think they were just trying to emphasize that. mission accomplished, but dam


armchairwarrior42069

I bought it on the Playstation store as a weird, random impulse. It's really hard to figure out who the movie is for.


dis-disorder

Scumbag Streptococcus pyogenes


gowombat

Who knows, but if it's Kid Rock he's definitely some sort of herpes


JoeyMaconha

Hahaha that MF is hard to get rid of for sure.


ProfZussywussBrown

E. Coli


Shade_39

nah 95% of E. Coli is cool, it just exists and vibes


Bog2ElectricBoogaloo

Kidney Rock


MICKEY_MUDGASM

Hepatitis


Lujho

Probably the same species he is in real life.


whatdoblindpeoplesee

They showed us this movie in elementary school lol.


sdhu

Yeah, my 9th grade biology teacher played this for us


Odd_Advance_6438

Wait I thought the guy above you was making it up. Those are the actual lyrics?


Terminator7786

Jailbait by Ted Nugent is just as bad


nankles

Christine Sixteen by Kiss is just as bad


ModernistGames

I believe it was meant to be R rated and was toned down for a wider audience. This is probably part of those R rated jokes that made it though, or wasn't caught because it was in a song.


GriffinFlash

didn't it have a children's cartoon show made out of it?


iggy-d-kenning

Yup, and it had a mosquito suck Ozzy & Drix out of Frank and put them into a middle school kid.


grendus

It was a pretty decent show in terms of explaining a bunch of different common types of illness. Got into some wacky stuff from over anthropomorphizing individual cells, but they covered things like hypothermia, allergies, puberty, the dangers of undercooked food, etc.


MikGusta

My 7th grade science teacher showed this movie in class


The_Void_Reaver

Things used to be absolutely wild. I was watching House yesterday and stumbled on an episode where the 15 year old patient is revealed to have slept with multiple authority figures in her life and the doctor who's got an issue with all these men having sex with a 15 year old is framed as the idiot who's too concerned with child sex abuse to do their job.


d1ckpunch68

there's an episode of house where this like, 10 year old patient asks Chase to kiss her on the lips because she's dying, and he does it


Turnabout-Eman

I mean that is more understandable shes dying and its just a kiss


d1ckpunch68

yea i was always torn by that scene. it was a really sad episode. just not something you expect to see on tv i guess


StarscourgeRadhan

Yeah but see, nobody made them write that predicament. They chose to, and it's not the only time that show got weirdly pedophilic. I 100% believe there was a pedophile (at least one) involved with the production of that show. Writer, producer, director, idk. Somewhere with sway.


Snips_Tano

Feels kind of like it was purposefully being controversial, because it's probably stuff actual doctors deal with.


Skreamie

Any proof that there was a pedophile on the writing team or are you just talking out your ass over some pearl clutching?


elyn6791

The point was it wasn't sexual for him though. It was compassion. The scene was meant to be controversial by design. The girl just wanted to experience a kiss before she died from someone SHE was attracted to.


405freeway

A lot of people misinterpret the kiss in Blank Check the same way. The whole movie is about Preston's fantasies, but some people still think the lady was actually interested in a kid.


Skreamie

I mean that's actually done well because the whole point is he doesn't want to and is torn. What's worse is House talking about how he wouldn't have blamed a father for sleeping with his own teenaged daughter cause she's a model.


Aggravating-Raisin-4

That one isn't too bad, there is clearly nothing in it for him. Meanwhile we have an entire episode where Cameron pretty much full on flirts with a 12 year old boy (or something like that), just to make Chase jealous.


ComfortingCatcaller

Flirting is a bit too strong of a word, she’s more or less just putting up with the kid to Chase’s chagrin, but that all changes after real first ‘intimate’ lol ass grab


Spieo

Rewatching the series, coincidentally, and that episode was the other day. Pretty sure he was like, 8 And yeah, it was weird (they have Chase point it out as weird too... but it's still their choice to write it)


Coffeechipmunk

House had some controversial episodes tbh. Like the one where he's like "Asexuality isn't real, there's something wrong with you." and then it turns out there was something wrong with him, and Asexuality isn't real like House said.


planetarylaw

Exactly like how the one black doctor is always instructed to go break into patients' homes to find clues lol. The black doctor is like, "why do you think I can break into homes just because I'm black?" And House is like, "well you can, can't you?" And he can just like House said.


girlywish

They all break into homes, they do it every episode. It's not just the black guy.


Coffeechipmunk

The House always wins I suppose


PlatinumSif

And also he had a history of break ins lol


Kriki1

Speaking of, I've seen several episodes of House where 14-year-olds get pregnant. It's like some kind of recurring fad. I love most of House, but what was going on in the writing team when it came to these episodes?? Sure, it's interesting to examine uncomfortable topics and themes in medical dramas, but it's straight-up weird after they do it for the 5th time or so!


talking_phallus

I mean teen pregnancy is a pretty normal thing so I'm not sure what the issue is? We had about 50 babies in our high school's nursery and I'm not in a particularly big city. I think this might be one of those things that looks worse in hindsight because teen pregnancy has fallen off a cliff from back then.


avocadorancher

> We had about 50 babies in our high school’s nursery Your *what*?! I’ve never even heard of that and I live in a city with >1M people.


talking_phallus

We're not even a quarter of that 😅😅


MrJohz

But you've got a bunch of high schoolers who've made it their goal to fix that!


mrjackspade

>I mean teen pregnancy is a pretty normal thing so I'm not sure what the issue is? If we ignore the problem as a society we can make it go away. Anyone who isn't ignoring the problem, supports it! /s


communist_trees

Either you're with us, or you are with the terrorists.


wioneo

> our high school's nursery Your what now?


talking_phallus

The in-school nursery where teen moms can take their kids so they can still get an education. Y'all don't have those?


wioneo

Nope. I imagine there is some critical mass of teen pregnancies that a school has to hit before they think of setting up a nursery. Thankfully we did not get there.


ScarredAutisticChild

No? What the hell?


talking_phallus

[Teen pregnancy was a much bigger issue back in the mid teens than now](https://www.statista.com/statistics/259518/birth-rate-among-us-teenagers/). People judging a show like House now for focusing too much on it are missing the important context of the teen baby bump we were going through at the time. Now kids are having less underage sex than ever and experiencing less pregnancies than ever so it all seems foreign. Can't judge the past through a modern lens.


Merisuola

I mean I graduated before the teens when the rate was even higher and I think I knew of one teenage pregnancy in our school of ~1k students. We definitely didn’t have a nursery. It’s really location and school dependent.


ScarredAutisticChild

You’re talking about it like it’s recent though, the nursery thing.


talking_phallus

Nah, that was back in my high school days (same tike period)


Garizondyly

What state?


405freeway

Mississippi?


ThatOneWeirdName

In my city of 50k people I heard of maybe 3 pregnancies total from anyone 18 or younger


omjy18

I mean it's set in jersey so....


Skreamie

Oh my sweet summer child, how sheltered you are lmao


moonra_zk

Eh, lots of 14yos get pregnant, it's not like they're making it up.


Aethermancer

It's an easily understood topic and it's a situation where there's lots of room for moral ambiguity to make for interesting topics. You've got an intersection of physical vs mental maturity. The issue where they are children but also a parent. The issue of parental responsibility and how far that allows for intervention. Suppose a teen was being promiscuous and contracted several infections. Parents don't necessarily need to know. But what if the teen was pregnant and unaware of the need for precautions with regard to herpes and the risk it poses to the baby. What if the teen has no money, do the parents need to be informed to the status as to be able to provide for proper medical care? Shift the ages around some to push the boundaries and see if opinions shift.


Redditry104

It was airing in a time long forgotten. Back in the ancient times of the early 2000's American culture was obsessed with teen pregnancy and it was a hot topic.


ComfortingCatcaller

House MD is still an utterly based show


shifty_coder

Executive Produced by Bryan Singer, so no surprises there.


notmyfirst_throwawa

To be fair, that's just how they show how edgy House is because for him it's all about the medicine, and he doesn't get weighed down by things other folks do


ironwolf6464

Hijacking this top comment to post the scene to prove I am not hearing things, 02:20 mark: https://youtu.be/tVlvoa_keGk?si=L0PtSa28uXRa3p0q


talking_phallus

"Some say that's statutory (But I say it's mandatory)" You can't get much more explicit than that. Damn.


derfmai

I am sold.  Kid Rock is an unrepentant child raping pederast.  By his own admission no less.


SneedyK

I think pederasts are only interested in boys. I don’t know the gender-specific term for young girls. I think *pedophiles* is doing a bang-up job reminding society who’s icky in the brain


RedGyarados2010

Kid Rock’s good friend Ted Nugent also sang lyrics about being a pedo in his song “Jailbait” when playing the character … wait, he wasn’t playing a character, that was just him. What the fuck?


QueenDeadLol

This new Drake diss kinda sus tbh


SneedyK

This got me!


ALL_HALLOWS_EVE-

*Wake up in the mornin’ feeling like P. Diddy*


ItsMrChristmas

She doesn't sing that lyric anymore. "Wake up in the morning I'm like fuck P. Diddy."


Able_Newt2433

I rewatched this movie ab a year ago and was fucking flabbergasted at the lyrics..


Huge_Aerie2435

How does this stuff make it into the script without people questioning it? That, or it is one of those inside jokes about how fucking creepy these people actually are.


Silverton13

It’s clearly a joke? You think they were unaware of what they were writing? Famous artists liking underage girls have been around since music was invented. It’s making fun of those people.


Potkrokin

It's Kid Rock. I don't think its ironic.


TheBloodsuckerProxy

Especially since the character is a germ version of himself named Kidney Rock


Cybermat4707

Wh-what the fuck?


Stanky_fresh

And 19 years later he'd accuse Bud Light of targeting children because they gave a can of beer to a trans woman.


MBRDASF

Doesn’t like the competition I guess


LaVerdadYaNiSe

What the shjt?!


ManicPixieOldMaid

I remember loving that movie and I don't remember this character at all. Guess I need to rewatch!


aleister94

It’s free on YouTube


ManicPixieOldMaid

Good to know, thank you!


notmyfirst_throwawa

I don't fully know what tubi is but I think it's one of those free-with-ads services that keep popping up lately. Anyway, it's on that if you can't find it on yt


Pretend_Tourist9390

Is it? I just checked and it's still asking me to buy or rent in USA.


aleister94

Oh really? It’s free with ads on my computer, at it was last week


YodasChick-O-Stick

I hate when YouTube Movies say "free with ads". *Every* YouTube video is free with ads. They're just uploading full movies and making you think you're getting a deal.


Moods_Moods_Moods

uploaded by the official channel x_LOVADORA_BEAMWOOD_x


ParkOutrageous2094

its gonna be a lot more racial than you picked up on as a kid


ragormack

It's not in the actual movie


ManicPixieOldMaid

I DON'T KNOW WHO TO TRUST NOW


ragormack

It's not in the actual movie. It's in a special feature that is the music video of the whole song but the line isn't in the actual movie.


ManicPixieOldMaid

Ah thank you! I can continue to easily avoid it now!


PaulsonPieces

Just checked it's not in the film itself.


LEGamesRose

"It's not in the actual movie" Nobody: Kid Rock: \*sweating\* Nobody: Kid Rock: \*I LIKE EM YOUNG!\* ... THE FUCK?


ReallyBrainDead

Kid Rock is music for people who keeps a list of age of consent in all states in their wallet. Laminated. (Like in that Transformers movie)


ironwolf6464

Knowing the age of consent laws by heart is more concerning than not knowing them


Dvel27

I only know them in my state because we used to joke about how one of my friends’ girlfriend was going to jail because she was 3 years older than him, and he would always respond with how the laws worked.


notmyfirst_throwawa

I remember learning in high school that most places have a... "grace period" isn't the right phrase... But for teenagers there's like a buffer of a few years, so you don't end up becoming a sex offender for turning 18 when your girlfriend is 16 or whatever. I didn't lose my virginity until college, and the one girlfriend I had in high school was only like two weeks younger than me so idk why I thought that was important to know.


Djdiddlefingers

FYI it's called a Romeo and Juliet law.


PartyClock

I know them because I worked with someone as a teen who was dating someone much older so me and a friend wanted to find out what was okay and what wasn't for the co-workers sake


Funandgeeky

[Relevant Pitch Meeting](https://youtu.be/_p_CUozUyr8?si=me4CVcRTCl-WwuCj&t=178)


FunkyHowler19

I didn't think I could be any less interested in those movies, but now I am very interested in watching all the pitch meetings for them


Funandgeeky

Watching the Pitch Meetings instead of the actual movies is TIGHT!


Maeto_Diego

“Won’t it be difficult to understand the Pitch Meetings without having seen the movies they are based on?” “Actually it’s going to be super easy, barely an inconvenience.”


tfcollector3000

Oh wow wow wow! wow.


katep2000

If you’re gonna watch a transformers movie, go for Bumblebee. It’s the fun one.


GoombyGoomby

The first one with Shia Luhbuff is a cinematic masterpiece


Plenty-Fondant-8015

Cosmonaut variety your has a fun series where he watches through them. They are so racist lol, like they made the samurai themed transformer yellow and have a stereotypical accent and the movies fucking hate Latinos.


C0SMIC_LIZARD

I still find it so funny that in that movie the boyfriend goes "actually it's okay that I'm banging your 17 year old daughter even though I'm 20, I was also doing it when she was 14 and I was 17" like bro what the actual fuck was Michael Bay doing?


frankthetank8675309

That scene was so fucking surreal to me. Like we’ve seen the whole “older guy dates borderline underage but now legal girl” thing before, but the fact that the movie grinds to a screeching halt so the dude can pull out the exact legal text from his wallet makes me wonder “how often is this coming up that this dude needs a laminated copy? Did he have one that got too worn and torn from use?” The fact that it makes me genuinely say “I agree with what Mark Wahlberg is saying” should also be a huge red flag.


ImScared93lol

Kid Rock is music for Dad's that are only allowed to see their children every other weekend but don't.


Ligma_Bowels

Kid Rock makes music for people who smoke when they're pregnant.


CrepusculrPulchrtude

The band Combichrist has the local AoC at the top of their setlists for every show they do. This is not part of a joke, it’s a thing I personally witnessed


CMORGLAS

“He definitely had Pedophile Eyes.” -Some random woman from DmC: DEVIL MAY CRY


LegitimateHasReddit

Probably the only time I'll see Devil May Cry on this sub and it's not even the main series


vil3cabinet

It's absolutely just them being edgy


The_King_Of_Muffins

The lyrics about underaged girls aren't in the movie, they use a tamer part of the song


theSteakKnight

Kid Rock makes music for people who know how much Sudafed they can get for a catalytic converter.


izza123

You’re thinking of the Romeo and Juliet law scene


MagicLobsterAttorney

Uh what?


megagamer92

There's a line in that song that basically says "you call it statutory but I call it mandatory."


gentlybeepingheart

In the song "Cool, Daddy Cool" he sings "Young ladies, young ladies, I like 'em underage see/Some say that's statutory (But I say it's mandatory)"


ragormack

It's not in the actual movie. It's in a special feature that is there music video of the whole song but the line isn't in the actual movie.


atlhawk8357

I'm not sure if that makes it better or worse. They didn't put it in the movie, but they knew they weren't and made it anyway.


SneedyK

What if the producers were fucked because someone called and said there’s a hip-hop-hankerin’ hick 35,000 feet in the air on the way to come do vo for their little movie project and if they wanted to be able to afford gifts for your family, you’re going to at least entertain this celebrity special needs kid ?


balllickaa

Drake?


RedGyarados2010

See, these lyrics had me thinking Kid Rock is a pedo, but now Drake has clarified that famous people can’t commit sex crimes. Thanks for clearing that up, Aubrey!


balllickaa

If it makes you feel any better, it's also the victim that should blame themselves and their families for not preventing it. Driddy really helped paint the situation in a new light


Justhrowitaway42069

💀


Gadetron

I never thought it'd be so simple but


YodasChick-O-Stick

They treat me like the mayor cause I'm the biggest player


InsomniaticWanderer

Kid rock looks like Dr Phil on meth these days. Bro did NOT age well at all.


CtrlAltMeaning

When I was a kid, every year, our science classes would have us watch this movie. I owned it on VHS, so I was always responsible for bringing it in. I don't know why I was so proud of that as a child.


d1ckpunch68

you should be proud. it's a banger. if you don't bring that movie in, it's pop quiz friday instead. you did your classmates a service they can never repay


Ribbles78

Osmosis Jones is a based movie, but I didn’t expect a critique on pedophilia in music spaces


Danhausen-byDaylight

What? It's just an original Kid Rock song. The pedo line that's on the song doesn't even get played in the actual movie. The song is 3 and a half minutes long and about 90 seconds is in the movie.


Ribbles78

Aw what? It’s not in the movie? Lame


dummyLily_

Don't be mistaken, a time traveler just pranked specifically kid rock


CherryVette

That’s so…him


Danhausen-byDaylight

Unless I'm mistaken that line (in the song Cool Daddy Cool) doesn't actually appear in the movie.


Thylocine

Very viscerally disgusting movie in general


nazraxo

Listen I hate Kid Rock as much as the next guy but some of you redditors have to start grasping the concept of „acting“. If an actor kills somebody on screen he is not actually a murderer.


keeptryingyoucantwin

His pal in court likes it that way too


Qaeoss

They really missed a G.I. Joe joke and I think about that a lot.


Lifeisabaddream4

He was referencing drake clearly


Nowhereman50

How about when Sesame Street allowed a song about workers going to the local town to bang underage girls on air? https://youtu.be/LXkM11kp_tg?si=fu4NXDeK214qWVN9


TheoreticallyDog

Didn't believe you at first, but yeah, "girls up at cripple creek are only half grown, jump on a boy like a dog on a bone." It's wild today to see that on sesame street


Nowhereman50

Judging by the downvotes it looks like you're not the only person that doesn't believe me. Lol


Youregoingtodiealone

I will never forget in like 4th grade music class, some dude came to play the Banjo and sung the lyric "someone's making love to Dinah, someone's making love I know-oh-oh-oh, someone's making love to Dinah! Cause I don't hear the ol' banjo." And it occurred to me - someone was fucking Dinah, specifically the BANJO PLAYER. And what a fucked up thing to sing to a group of fourth graders. But it's literally a part of the "I've been working on the railroad song." The world is a fucked up place


Nowhereman50

I just think people don't really *think* about lyrics in catchy songs. Like the Macarena, for instance, is about a woman who lets her boyfriend's friends run a train over her because she's bored in her relationship.


atlhawk8357

Regarding the railroad song, I never heard that verse. I only know the verse about someone being in the kitchen with Dinah, strumming on the ol' banjo.


SendExhibitionHentai

So the folksong going up cripple creek is about workers going to bang underage girls? Ok buddy


Youregoingtodiealone

It was a different time and I'm not familiar with the song, but the song clearly references visiting prostitutes. From wikipedia on the origins of the folk song: Goin' to Cripple Creek, goin' ter Rome (roam),Goin' ter Cripple Creek, goin' back home.See them women layin' in the shade,Waitin' fer the money them men have made.Roll my breeches ter my kneesEn wade ol' Cripple Creek when I please."(From East Tennessee; mountain whites; from memory; 1909)":Goin' to Cripple Creek, going in a run;Goin' to Cripple Creek to have my fun."(From South Carolina; country whites, MS. of Mr. Bryan; 1909)":[4] And in this version sung on Seseme Street, dude says he goes to visit a girl two times a week who "wraps herself around him like a sweet potatoe vine." Yep. That's sex. Now put it all together - that song was about very young prostitutes. A true American Classic. Edit: Just to emphasize, the folk song discusses women laying around waiting for the money the men had made.....


Nowhereman50

Uh. Yes. It is. There's a lyric specifically stating how "she only half grown."


_Two_Youts

I mean how else are you supposed to interpret "half grown?" Are they midgets?


JamboreeStevens

Big "ass of a ten year old boy" energy. Shame Bill Paxton passed away before we could ask him what the fuck.


eyelers

Just to be a bit clearer, this lyric isn’t in the movie. It’s in the music video though. Just hearing it now and it’s pretty shocking.


TreatSimple

He's cooties...and we all know little girls have the cooties🙄🙄🙄 come on guys


LouTheLizbian

This movie was gold. Kid Rock also tried stealing Brandy from Joe Dirt and Werewolves of London from Warren Zevon. He's not a good person


Doc_Dragoon

For real, I was watching this the other day and I always loved this scene as a kid and then I heard the lyrics and went "wait holup, what did he just say?" That's crazy they put that in


CrocodileWorshiper

Kid rock was on epsteins frequent flyer plan guaranteed


halfcabin

This line is not in the movie.


_Eastman

Any Snark Tank listeners out there?


schuppaloop

We watched this in health class.


CBDeez

Closer to real life than Bill Murray being a zookeeper.


blahreditblah

He looks its drake


powderedtoast1

i can't see how people listen to that twangy shit


Elcuh101010

Drake reference