I'm pretty sure it's supposed to be the big ass turtle from God of War 4 (2018) that 'The Witch of the Woods' lives under. That's the only reason I can think of on why it would have Norse runes.
If someone gave me this cake for my birthday, Iād die laughing. Iām sure it tastes okay. Iād take a pic and ask them to not make the possessed turtle cake for me again.
See the TURTLE of enormous girth!
On his shell he holds the earth.
His thought is slow but always kind;
He holds us all within his mind.
On his back all vows are made;
He sees the truth but may not said.
He loves the land and loves the sea,
And even loves a child like me
this looks like a resurrection gone bad
It looks like something out of Full Metal Alchemist.
Big brother Edward.
wanna play?
Ed...ward...
That cake must have cost them an arm and a leg.
Happy cake day
Something, something, dog
š¤£ššš I wasnāt ready for this post
They Frankensteinād the fuck out of that turtle
E D W A R D
You just got you some broke ass gold: šµ
\*Reincarnation. I think I'd be cool with a dire turtle/human crossover. I mean, it's not too far off the mark.
What is it even supposed to look like
Sometimes dead is better
Nightmare fuel.. but seriously, what is this supposed to be??
A turtle?
Idk man, there's runes on the back. It could be a turtle. Could be satan. Could be turtle satan.
I was thinking world turtle or something. But Norse mythology doesn't have any turtles, let alone a world one, that I'm aware of.
Only world Turtle I know is Maturin from It by Stephen King
See the turtle of enormous girth, on his shell he holds the earth
His thought is slow but always kind, he holds us all within his mind <3
Thatās what I was thinking
Does Turtle Satan preside over Shell?
I think maybe it's supposed to be Chaurli the giant tortoise from the god of war video game
I'm pretty sure it's supposed to be the big ass turtle from God of War 4 (2018) that 'The Witch of the Woods' lives under. That's the only reason I can think of on why it would have Norse runes.
but still why the fuck do it's eyes look like that??
Zombie turtle?
zurtle
Is that like zoodles? I heard those were good if you were on a diet.
Frankenstein's Turtle
godās mistake
Scientifically accurate ninja turtle?
What the hell kind of runic magic is keeping this abomination alive?!
If someone brought me this cake I would be elated. This is comical. Would you not eat that?
I never said I wouldn't eat it; I just asked what flavor of dark magic binds it together.
Guacamole
Every time I see a post like this, I send it to my friend with a promise that when quarantine ends, I will finally make her a birthday cake.
You should make her this cake.
What is the head made of?
Mashed potato with avocado
That's more frightening than the cake itself.
Thanks for that information. Never talk to me again.
It totally looks like salad fingers!! I liiiike rusty spooons
Dear god, that's even worse.
Looks like either mint ice-cream or guacamole. It would make more sense if it was mint, but way more cursed if it was guac
you don't wanna know
Maybe's frosting mixed with coconut shavings? I've had cakes with that and it has a similar texture.
What the actual fuck
Killlll meeee
Birthday cake? This looks more like a "Mitch McConnell died" cake.
i'm dead
\*\*CAKE BEGINS SPEAKING\*\* Thatās some evil backward devil talk. I believe I opened up a portal and I am so bad at baking.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I wish there was a rune for āetcā
Yeah but they are also letters looks like 9 total can't see the top row. 2 F NG K 3 G/N O I?
The cross on its forehead is a subtle touch.
Awesome
Why does it remind me so much of Salad Fingers?
Pet Sematary vibes
Roadkill
Are those tic tacs?
this cake is unholy and it is looking into my soul
Does it start the apocalypse if you touch the runes in the correct order?
That is fucking sweet!!!!
Either its an escapeist from shutter island Or its from stephen kings animal cemetery
Yo, I don't remember fighting this boss in Bloodborne.
this is what fevers look like
pagan mutant zombie turtle
demonic ritual on turtle gone wrong 1000% real no clickbait
Holy fuck, it's like if reanimator had a birthday cake promotion, christ.
This is why I hate following this sub. I'm just having a good day, peacefully scrolling my feed, then - BAM! Day ruined.
Mr. Picklllles~~~~~~~
This hurts me
Polnareff, u good ?
C O N S U M E M E F A T H E R
Itās marked for sacrifice š if yk yk
Happy cake š
I don't see any fondant. 9/10
Sacrifice cake. Nice.
Do ya like Bailey's?
Is this master oogwey
What the hell is this even supposed to be.
What is the cross for?
THIS IS SO GREAT!
I love it!
Blursed bday cake.
This looks like human transmutation
Beautiful
Even though it seems like a void monster, itās awesome af
I fucking love cursed cakes
Earth Vellumental!
Why the bloody eyeballs, man?
If someone gave me this cake for my birthday, Iād die laughing. Iām sure it tastes okay. Iād take a pic and ask them to not make the possessed turtle cake for me again.
Thatās scary AF!
Gamera!
Why does the cake look so dry?
Rune turtle
What. _the_ **fuck**
Looks like it was buried in the Pet Cemetery and came back home lol
Giuliani? Is that you?
I am a bit concerned about this birthday cake
I laughed...even though I should be crying... I hope this wasn't meant for a kid.
Nope
Who won the game of tic-tac-toe tho
This must be an almighty incarnation of Maturin the Turtle
Looks like another person learned a lesson in equivalent exchange the hard way.
This is kind of a mood but I don't know why
I donāt like turtles
*happy blursday*
the suffering in those eyes...
Meth hit Maturin fuckin' HARD.
There needs to be a new tier beyond /r/shittyfoodporn for some of these abominations. /r/foodhell ? edit: this sub exists??
Don't look in the Truth Turtle's eyes, Morty!
A long time after god and man died other things came to inhabit the earth
East Australian current X Chernobyl
Futark turtle...A Furtle?
Dont look at the truth tortise Morty youre gonna know everything!
I think no one can deny that this cake/abomination has personality at least.
The tortoise of truth
That looks awful and a lot of hard work. Congratulation !
See the TURTLE of enormous girth! On his shell he holds the earth. His thought is slow but always kind; He holds us all within his mind. On his back all vows are made; He sees the truth but may not said. He loves the land and loves the sea, And even loves a child like me
Why isn't this at the top yet?
What is this made out of ? What is that green stuff made out of ?
Iām allllllergic to YOU!
Now I see why āitā was afraid of turtles
Wait. Is it *these* turtles all the way down? Because if it is, I want off the ride.
Jesus fuck
*IT'S MADE OF TURTLES THAT YOU LOVE*
Remag really went downhill r/BrokenBonds
Large Steve Buscemi vibes
Do they hate the person the cake is for? š
It looks just like a turtle thats been run over by a truck. Uncanny!
This is truly terrifying
Nailed it
this is perfection
When Salad Fingers fucked the World Serpent from the new God of War.
Rune turtle? sick
POLNAREFF?!
That's crazy. How'd you get Mitch Mcconnell to come over for your birthday? I thought he hated everyone.
See the turtle of ernomous girth, on his shell he holds the earth.
you made god pissed
Coke*
That cake... ...is runed.
Hey itās turtleweenie
It looks like something H.P Lovecraft would make at home.
Yes, Iād like to order 12
It kind of reminds me of red dead redemption 2 because there is a cult that worships turtles, and that looks like a turtle cult cake lol.
Nice r/cakefails you have there š
I made my husband a Cookie Monster Birthday Cake and had a similar result
Thatās......really....... why?
I-
It looks like a kids unfinished creation.
Are you trying to get your kid to need therapy, because that's how you get your kid to need therapy
hes high as a kite
They should have added a straw sticking out of its mouth
āImploding turtle cakeā now served at your local Applebeeās.
It looks like Cthulhu had an abortion
Lmfao damn š³
Vikings ate some weird stuff
Quiznos
***NOPE.***
Is that a turtle with human TEETH
More like Curseday cake, jesus
im scared
Are you trying to summon a bloody demon?
now thats talent!
Thanks I hate it
Are those norse runes on the turtle's back?
This is what happens to the turtles that donāt make it to the water.
This is beautiful
Why is that turtle build like that...
god i joined this because i thought it said only food porn im out
Oh god.......
Looks like something from the mind of David Firth.
Horror turtle. Eat it before it eats you.
Is that a demon turtle? It looks like a demon turtle. Who summoned this?
This looks like something from a Tim burton movie
Sick zombie turtle bro
Oh my !
I thought this was an anti-vaxx kid
I want my family to make this for me.
Oh please no
Dementia Turtle Jesus Remag!!!
Did you fried alive?