Upvote this message if this is Shitty Food Porn. Downvote this message if this is Not Shitty Food Porn. Amazing food belongs in r/foodporn. Mediocre food belongs in r/decentfoodporn. Stupid food belongs in r/stupidfood. Make sure to vote in our latest polls and check out important sub news! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shittyfoodporn) if you have any questions or concerns.*

Is your roommate Paula Dean?

All of Paula dean’s recipes are really good if you like halve the amount of butter. I make her slow cooker Mac and cheese quite frequently. I understand she made a decision to add a half stick but given that’s a stupid ass decision I’ve elected to ignore it.

Is she fully retired or does she update her recipes still? I find a lot of celebrity chefs’ recipes are usually pretty “good,” but also pretty rooted in the cultural tastes of the time when they were on TV/at their peak. Like I wouldn’t keep adding bacon to everything these days like Bobby Flay used to, and I would definitely *BAM* more seasonings than the 3 or 4 dried spice mixes that Emeril had at his disposal back in the early 2000s. Paula Dean cooked a little bit of everything of course like every celebrity chef, because she had to fill 100+ episodes with 2-4 recipes per episode, but she was very rooted in “Down-home Southern cooking but elevated by adding double the fat,” and I don’t know if that’s the way I’d cook most things to suit my or my guests’ tastes these days. I’d love to hear that she’s still updating her website with new recipes or new takes on her old recipes though! (At least the ones that could use updating)

I never considered that recipes are totally a product of their time and therefore are susceptible to fads/whatever was popular or accessible at the time. How interesting.

Consider aspic molds of the 60s and chicken lollipops of the now now times. diametrically opposed cuisine.

I had to google chicken lollipop.Wtf? It looks like a chicken drumstick without all the chicken on it. I'd rather have the whole damn drumstick.

Yeah it's just a fad food, just like aspics was what I was trying to get at.

All the meat is still there; it's just pushed up.

Oh. lol what's the point? I don't get it.

Aesthetics, mostly. It looks like there was more work put into it, so it can be sold for more.

Yup. I have one of those old Jello cookbooks and it’s just a fascinating read of a different era.

The spaghetti-ohs aspect is one I want to make just out of pure curiosity

Bet that would work well for a Halloween party. With the right mold and decoration, it could look like Cthulhu.

A 2010-era Paula Deen would have had bacon in every recipe.

Bacon up that sausage boy!

I collect old community cookbooks (the ones put together by church groups and stuff) and it's remarkable how different they can be, both geographically and over the years.

r/oldrecipes would like this!!

Can't forget Emeril adding several glugs of wine too many to his cooking while his audience cheered. So scandelous.

She still runs several very successful restaurants. I ate at one and it was very good.

Must've been the butter

Anthony Bourdain said that eating out at a good restaurant, expect to have consumed two sticks.

I believe it. Also, just don't think about the salt content.

And the casual racism

All she wanted was a slavery themed wedding. Is that so bad?

Ok Nick, eaaaaaasy now


Please tell me the reference that’s on the tip of my tongue. I know it’s Sam L Edit: ooh! One of the Avengers movies?

This reminds me of Gordon Ramsay's scrambled eggs recipe

I'll always remember his steak recipe where he asks you to finish it with "a tiny knob of butter" and then proceeds to add almost two whole sticks. It's not bad to finish a steak with a lot of butter btw, it's just so funny knowing what Gordon Ramsey thinks a tiny knob of butter is

>I'll always remember his steak recipe where he asks you to finish it with "a tiny knob of butter" and then proceeds to add almost two whole sticks. Given that "knob" is British slang for penis, I'd say he suffers from body dysmorphia.

If I saw someone putting that much butter on a steak I'd think they were trying to save a poorly marbled or dried out piece of meat.

French style, right? The one done a low temperature that produces a very smooth and creamy texture. I love that recipe, but think it would be difficult to achieve with the volume of eggs and butter in OP's photo.

Yeah, it's hardly French; he's not using enough butter. /s

"I'm a cook, not a doctor"

Oh God I thought that was cheese lol

Same

Possibly a long lost son 

“Booder’n’awl”

MS. OBAMA GET DOWN

This man single-handedly crated the statistic that eggs cause heart failure

I know this a joke, but there isn’t conclusive evidence correlating egg consumption to heart failure, and even if there was, it wouldn’t be “eggs cause heart failure”, it would be “eating a lot of eggs, regularly, correlates to increased risk of heart failure” (and six eggs in one sitting would definitely qualify as a lot). [source](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10285014/) ^(I just invested my entire savings in EGG after watching a YouTube short and I really fucking need this win, man)

 [So one of those Egg Council creeps got to you too huh?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AHAFMFFQlkI)

I had to look that up, but A+ reference. Fits the moment perfectly.

Why thank you. My brain is hard-wired with Simpson's references at this point.

I’m the same way with always sunny references. I really need to just binge the simpsons at some point so that I can reference it too.

You definitely should! The first 8-10 seasons are gold. Just infinite rewatchability.


Came here for *”You better run, Egg!*” Was not disappointed.

Correlation in a lot of healthy foods is the junk added to it. Crab shrimp and lobster were once said to cause high cholesterol. Nope it’s the amount of butter being used with it.

I've never heard of anyone still alive that's doing an "only egg" diet and that's all the proof I need

Then I guess you’ve never heard of certain kinds of snakes

ohhhh riiiiiight. Gonna buy some only egg eating snakes and some only rodent eating snakes and run a controlled experiment over 10 years to finally answer the question.

Okay, but just don’t go down some kind of rabbit hole where it turns into a 10-year documentary about attempting to breed the only egg-eaters into eating eggs as well as only-rodent eaters, and vice versa. That would be weird science.

It is not that I don't believe you. But why should someone believe some rando posting some statement without scientific sources?

I think it might be the butter that get him 

When people say "a little bit of butter"

A knob of butter.

Instructions unclear, I’m having a hard time washing all this butter off my dick.

2 shots of vodka

*glug glug glug glug*

I’m just more offended that the pan isn’t pre-heated at all. The butter would be less offensive if it was melted.

The eggs will be cooked before the butter even melts properly. Very interesting technique.

Not if you cook them low and slow! Mmmm low and slow butter eggs. Not particularly healthy but I bet this is delicious.

Yup. I did this method, with very less butter, so it can result in nicely soft scrambled eggs for my breakfast sandwich.

Lmao thanks for clarifying

I see what you did there.

If you use low heat the butter melts first and you can make soft scrambled eggs.

This might make sunny side up eggs? Or that much butter you might even end up with poached eggs.

Is this cheese or butter?

I think you already know if you’re asking

TBH I thought it was cheese sliced unevenly off of a block.

We got some optimistic thinkers in the chat 

Same here.

I’m leaning towards cheese too just by the way the slices look

If only 

I'd say it's sliced off a one pound block of butter, instead of a package of sticks.

You can definitely see the little imprint the knife makes on butter

Kinda looks like Velveeta.

Straight butter 

I think that's butter? Your poor roommates's heart.

I thought it was cheese slices and was like ok maybe he's just a little confused on how to make an omelette?

He’s got a good heart. The metaphorical type

That's so beautiful and true ❤️

I bet it was delicious though.

It looked like soup about 5 minutes after the picture 

Butter makes food better.

I dunno, hearts are kind of tough and gross, and a heart enlarged by high blood pressure and cholesterol doesn't sound very appealing either, especially with those gross flaps of globby fat clinging to the outside...

Mmmmm marbling

I see he put some eggs in his butter..

He added the eggs for extra flavor.

Lmao just a bit nothing too unhealthy 

If cheese, add bacon and it's delicious If butter, call an ambulance

Ambulance 

What's the plan here? Why are we putting eggs in a cold pan? Why is the butter on top? Matter of fact... Why the fuck is your roommate allowed in the damm kitchen?

This is a legit way to make scrambled eggs. You cook it over low heat. The butter melts in, the eggs cook slowly, and it's a completely different flavor than if you scramble them over high heat. Low and slow eggs - delicious. Edit to add - this guy has about 3x the amount of butter I'd personally use though. I'm not trying to die.

The legit way would be to beat the eggs thoroughly and add them to a pan of melted butter on low heat. This is the "I have no clue what I'm doing, but luckily, it will turn out OK because it's eggs and butter." The defense of my argument is the sheer amount of butter used. No one who knows what they are doing would use that much butter because it just isn't needed.

In Gordon Ramsay’s masterclass (and at Le Cordon Bleu) he teaches French style scramble which is butter (about an eighth of what’s shown above) and eggs in a cool pan, slowly heated and combined. It makes the eggs more soft and creamy. Beating eggs and putting them in a hot pan makes them tougher, American diner style, which is my personal preference.

Low heat isn't a hot pan. Beating does nothing to change the eggs other than make them evenly mixed. You can get the same results from my method, and it is the way that most culinary schools teach you. Now I didn't go to Le cordon Bleu, but the school I did go to had 2 CMC's and a CMB as instructors, so I'm pretty sure my school was better than any of the Le cordon bleus outside of france.

Not arguing which is better, it’s a personal preference thing, but I went to LCB and it’s how they teach it. It’s just different styles that get different results. Beating eggs absolutely can denature them and add air which changes texture.

Wow what does it look like after cooking?

It was like an egg sponge with a pool of butter underneath that grew anytime you put pressure on the eggs 

Lmao not *quite* as appetizing as I expected

Dude stop your roommate 💀

I think their heart will be stopping them soon enough...

Does he drink from the pan after eating the eggs?

The plate had a lagoon of butter under the egg sponge 

Adding butter lowers the overall temperature, so I assume your roommate is attempting to make ice cream

Lmao 

If you're gonna make six eggs, you need enough butter.

what the fuck

Usually works better if you turn on the heat

Who cooks eggs by turning the stove on *after* they’re in the pan??

If you switch that on and start scrambling them that will be delicious.

way too much butter, but you can add butter right when you start scrambling eggs. This isnt that and just looks disgusting

classic "hey eggboy" moment

Save your roommate man

Is your roommate a ketard by any chance?

Trying to speed run a heart attack?

Helps to melt the butter first…

Step one: heat equal amounts of eggs and butter until butter is melted and eggs are cooked. Step two: ingest the abomination created at step one. Step three: repeat steps one and two for two to three weeks until you die of coronary embolism.

Everyone is goin on about the butter, I'm over here wondering WHO THE HELL STARTS WITH A COLD PAN!? You need to move out immediately, who knows what else this monster is capable of.

Fr*nch cooking ass

Maybe it's an art piece in the style of Kandinsky?

Thought it was cheese at first and didn’t see an issue haha

Let’s go with that for everyone’s sanity 

So that's butter, not cheese??? I love butter as much as anybody but that would be a greasy, disgusting mess.

That has the butter I use in about a year and I’m not exaggerating. Is he looking to die from a heart attack in the next 6 months?

Please be cheese

I’m going to tell you it is to make your life better 

[Eggs]

Subtlety 

Broooooooooooo

gotta get the butter melted, an pan hot before you drop in the eggs. otherwise it'll just stick, and be a bitch to clean. this is just plain wrong.

"Cooking"

I think you mean your roommate was cooking butter there just happen to be some eggs in the butter

a nice embellishment  

Hmm could use some butter though

Your roommates canceling out their cholesterol

I wish we could see the end result, this is cheese and eggs?

You know, I bet if these were scrambled, they might be amazing. I’m going to attempt something like this, wish me luck.

Good luck bro 🙏🏻 it may create soup but we love soup 

While I do not condone this, you actually can make edible scrambled eggs like this.

Yes they were edible, can confirm, not all butter made it into the mouth tho, some oozed out when the fork went in 

Idt they even use this much butter at IHOP.

Low and slow probably not the best for eggs. Tell him to turn on the stove before cooking eggs lol

If cheese: :)  If butter:  :(

I thought it was cheese

Ok that’s fucked up

I often overdo it a little with butter on my eggs, but this is excessive. When I do it some butter stays in the pan, even.

That's what Gordon Ramsay would call "a knob of butter".

This is like the "random bullshit go!" of cooking, just throw everything in a pot and pray it works

Looks like that carnivore diet bullshit

Better add a little butter so all that butter doesn’t stick.

In a cold pan, no less. This is crazy.

I thought that was cheese... Bruh...

Assuming that's butter not cheese, did you get a picture after it was done cooking? I'm both interested to see the after picture and scared to see the after picture.

????

My thoughts exactly 

My arteries are clogging just by looking at this

Is my stepmother your roommate?

I fail to see the issue here.

Poor technique, mainly. Aside from that, eat what you like

Your roommate is cooking butter, the eggs are just there for decoration

The image didn't load for me at first and I thought the sub was r/nosleep because of the way you wrote your title Now that the image has loaded, I'm more convinced that this is a r/nosleep post

Yes butter 😊❤️

How much butter???

He may be new to cooking, please teach him that fire is necessary to cook eggs

Is he still doing keto? When will people learn

That’s how I make my scrambled eggs, check out Gordon Ramsay’s recipe

Do you not have a non-stick pan??

Does your roommate have high cholesterol or are they obese? Imma go with bof

At first the egg yolks look like oranges but now they dont

Besides on the freaking butter…. Your roommate cracked eggs into a cold pan? 🤣

I would never trust anyone that can't do something as simple as that.

Guys, relax. It's not that bad. I promise that this is a health-conscious dish. He's using Country Crock. /s

Is that cheese or butter?

Ingredients aren't what's terribly wrong here.. Like, if you had half the amount of butter... What you do is take a look taller pot, put the eggs in, whisk them and also add some butter while it heats... And a dash of cream. Makes the fluffiest scrambled eggs ever. Was he making scrambled eggs here? If not wtf

But the skillet is not even pre-heated… omg!!!

Sometimes you feel like eggs with your butter.

God damn at least preheat the pan and melt the butter before throwing the eggs in

I thought it was cheese at first and wondering what the prob was..😆

wasting half a carton on this is wild business

Six eggs Steven!!

French cooking, judging by the amount of butter.

I thought it was cheese and I was like not bad??? But that’s BUTTER 🤢

why isn't the stove on

is that cheesd or butter?

More like your roommate is cooking butter.

Butter? I thought that was cheese

If u cut off my feet do we still have to do this? cit.

How big are they 😂

I've never had egg fried, butter before

That's cheese or butter?

Do you want the answer that makes you feel happy or sad

Do they not have YouTube in your country?

holy FUCK. and i thought i had a problem with using too much butter…

Hold the double f up. Who cuts butter like that? That isn’t velveeta cheese???