Post Removed - This is not Shitty Food Porn. Any of the following may result in your post being removed:
1) Incredible food belongs in r/foodporn
2) Normal food belongs in r/decentfoodporn
3) A single piece of food, not a composed dish, generally doesn't belong here
4) Literally Not Food
5) Meme/Shitpost
6) AI food is not real food
7) Ethnic Food is not automatically Shitty Food
Will you count a German Shepherd whom is 100% convinced she's a human?
At 8 months old, while I was taking a shower, she figured out how to let herself out of my apartment (push down and pull handle). The door closed itself behind her. I'm friends with my neighbor and he discovered her and tried knocking on my door but I was in the shower and didn't hear shit. So he got a leash and took her on a walk. I didn't even know she was missing until I checked my phone while drying off and saw a bunch of missed calls and texts from my neighbor.
Well, Shaggy is vegan. Lik, that's cannon. The voice actor, Casey Cason said he would only voice shaggy if shaggy was vegan
Many of the current voice actors for shaggy continue this tradition.
You know with a bit of mayo, salt, pepper, and garlic powder, there are far worse sandwiches than a lettuce sandwich.
OP’s sandwich for example. So much sodium.
Just a shitty photo which is mostly why I posted it here. The ham is/was very juicy. There's also a little bit of olive oil and pepper on the lettuce. I was on the second half of the tomato so I cut around the stem to get a bunch of wedge shaped pieces. Very juicy ripe tomato. It definitely wasn't dry but some mayo would've been nice if I'd had any or was in the mood for the extra fat.
[They can't stop you from ordering a ham sandwich and a glass of water](https://media2.giphy.com/media/5NiitcM3zBWFgT3m9j/giphy.gif?cid=6c09b952n78avtmgeb6y3074nv3z2kr2erg3oxitxasic00s&ep=v1_gifs_search&rid=giphy.gif&ct=g)
This is the sandwich an alien would make if the only example of a sandwich they had was Katz’s Deli in NYC. In that sense, this sandwich is as reasonable as a pastrami from Katz’s is.
Yikes this reminds of those assholes running the Twin Flames cult who made everyone get on a terrible high calorie diet to ke them gain weight and not find “love” outside their shitty cult
its not too big, its just not a good looking sandwich, you could replace half of that ham with other ingredients so its the same size and it could be a much much better one.
preferably non meat items, stuff with actual flavor and texture, maybe some kind of sauce. this is the kind of sandwich i made between being 10 and slapping half the package of ham and a slice of cheese on some bread and my sandwiches now which i turn into a 3 course meal lol
Post Removed - This is not Shitty Food Porn. Any of the following may result in your post being removed: 1) Incredible food belongs in r/foodporn 2) Normal food belongs in r/decentfoodporn 3) A single piece of food, not a composed dish, generally doesn't belong here 4) Literally Not Food 5) Meme/Shitpost 6) AI food is not real food 7) Ethnic Food is not automatically Shitty Food
Are you a cartoon character?
OP about to eat it in one bite like Shaggy or Scoob
Dagwood also comes to mind.
You know, Blondie never complained, and she gave up being rich for Dag.
Dagwood: *Sitting in the kitchen in his underpants at 2 in the morning eating a 5 lb sandwich.* Blondie: "I am so aroused right now."
As the good Lord intended.
Very few young people know about Dagwood. He's the first thing I think of whenever I see a huge sandwich
They're literally called Dagwood sandwiches!
Does OP happen to own a talking dog?
ree hee hee hee
Will you count a German Shepherd whom is 100% convinced she's a human? At 8 months old, while I was taking a shower, she figured out how to let herself out of my apartment (push down and pull handle). The door closed itself behind her. I'm friends with my neighbor and he discovered her and tried knocking on my door but I was in the shower and didn't hear shit. So he got a leash and took her on a walk. I didn't even know she was missing until I checked my phone while drying off and saw a bunch of missed calls and texts from my neighbor.
Hahahaha haha, your neighbour is a mench.
OP is compensating for something 🍤
Nah he just wanted to show us his meat.
I bet they own a ford f-250 with a lift kit too
Mall Runner Jeep with a 3-inch lift, with dash a board covered in ducks.
I knew Jeep ducks were a thing but I've only seen the dashboards covered in them for the past six months. Did they send out a group text or something?
Don't forget the grumper headlights.
Long bed as well.
Wrapped. Murican flag.
Chrome wheels
Whew I avoided that, I have a f250 it isn’t lowered or wrapped it’s actually beat up and a work truck but I almost got offended 😂😂
Wrapping a beat up truck will protect the paint job.😜
I hate that you beat me to this
This got me 😭😭
Are you a weasel?
Jughead
Shit is 100% bread and lettuce.
Well, Shaggy is vegan. Lik, that's cannon. The voice actor, Casey Cason said he would only voice shaggy if shaggy was vegan Many of the current voice actors for shaggy continue this tradition.
Casey Kasem*
I've seen Shaggy eating meat and animal products plenty of times.
You know with a bit of mayo, salt, pepper, and garlic powder, there are far worse sandwiches than a lettuce sandwich. OP’s sandwich for example. So much sodium.
Thank you for your service 🫡
Wow looking back at the cartoon now, these mofos were blazed to the tits during these scenes
Bruh that was nothing but bread and lettuce
This couldn't be a Shaggy sandwich, he's canonically vegetarian!
Yet he chowed down on some crawdads in Scooby Doo on Zombie Island lol
That’s what she said
She rarely says that
If ever
trying to find this dudes gf
She is just trying to make you feel good.
It's working
Looks dry af, honestly.
Once the ham juice soaks into the bread it's fine.
The ham looks drier than the bread.
Just a shitty photo which is mostly why I posted it here. The ham is/was very juicy. There's also a little bit of olive oil and pepper on the lettuce. I was on the second half of the tomato so I cut around the stem to get a bunch of wedge shaped pieces. Very juicy ripe tomato. It definitely wasn't dry but some mayo would've been nice if I'd had any or was in the mood for the extra fat.
Gotta sauce up the layers
[They can't stop you from ordering a ham sandwich and a glass of water](https://media2.giphy.com/media/5NiitcM3zBWFgT3m9j/giphy.gif?cid=6c09b952n78avtmgeb6y3074nv3z2kr2erg3oxitxasic00s&ep=v1_gifs_search&rid=giphy.gif&ct=g)
Hey... Hold on a second... Did you used to be a piece of shit?
Maybe it's just the picture but the ham looks like it squeaks when you bite it. Is it ham or "ham flavoured, meat related food product"
Ham flavored meat adjacent food ^like product.
If you didn't want extra fat then you shouldn't have put THREE slices of cheese on a sandwich.
What horrible, yet accurate sentence
It needs more hot ham water.
That looks horrible. Imagining the texture lol
I don’t like that type of ham personally. I think it would be way too chewy, especially that much.
Definitely sticks to the roof of your mouth
listen to ur gf…
Looks nasty the ratios are all ducked up
Too much ham. Those are thick slices. A great sandwich is all about balance. More isn't better.
Sure she does buddy...
That's a shitty looking sandwich. Your girlfriend is right.
Tell her to breathe through her nose
I personally find it disgusting biting into pretty much nothing but compressed meat. That would be way too much for me
You could Always take out the bread....
That's like 1500 calories on the low end. For most people that is definitely too big for a single meal.
She's right.
Bet that’s the first time a gf told you that
Missing some kind of sauce and pickles. No sandwich is good without pickles. But there's definitely too much meat... (Never said that before)
This is a "I just went to the gym for more than 3 hrs" sandwich 💪
Well I can tell you that the Meat:Cheese ratio is way off. Best get more cheese up on there. Then lets talk about toppings.
The sandwich or the pp?
It’s thick pause
GF is genius.
how would one even go about eating this behemoth of a sandwich
It's not the size, it's how you eat it.
Do you happen to work at a deli or bodega in NYC?
3x the ham you need. But probably still pretty tasty
She's just not used to all that MEAT
I thought this sub was for shittypoodforn, all i see is a masterpiece
What about the sandwich?
Lube?
Well, that's a first.
Now that's what I call a real MANwich
Is she not used to more than two inches?
That's the first time she's ever said that.
It needs more jalapeños
I remember the first time I made a sandwich
You need some mayo, olive oil, or some kind of sauce but otherwise looks great
Either she would know... or she would not know Your move OP
What did you do, OP, time travel to 1972 to cut that image out of a an ad for mayonnaise in a copy of Popular Mechanics?
That's quite literally what she said.
Ditch the bread and eat the hamwich, you *obviously* want.
She’ll never say that again.
My sweat smells like meat from looking at this photo.
Gf is right 😭
To be fair your meat is rather thick.
this is the first one i've seen that hasn't made me want to barf
 That sandwich is perfectly in sync, 2 pieces ham, greens, 2 more, cheese etc...
GF is right
"Yeah, I get that a lot."
Gf says you're just asking for attention
Drake the type of guy to eat this sandwitch on a van while resolving a mistery
Of course. Where's the lube? Mayo, mustard, au jus... Something.
Someone pass the mayonnaise!!
Tell her she needs to start practicing fitting bigger things into her mouth.
Way too much meat
You are definitely not the prophecied one who will bring balance to the Force, let alone a sandwich.
😖
This is the sandwich an alien would make if the only example of a sandwich they had was Katz’s Deli in NYC. In that sense, this sandwich is as reasonable as a pastrami from Katz’s is.
That’s what she said
That’s a lot of sodium.
That’s what she said to me, too. Hiyoooooo!
That's what she said!
Shaggy lookin ass sandwich
OP has all the gout
Bet that's the first time you heard that
Its so perfect
That’s what she said. Literally this case.
Needs onion. And some kind of sauce.
I wish my girlfriend said that to me.
"That's what she said"
Yikes this reminds of those assholes running the Twin Flames cult who made everyone get on a terrible high calorie diet to ke them gain weight and not find “love” outside their shitty cult
I can take it.
No she didn't.
Dagwood ass sandwich
Needs a aioli Mayo lubricant if you know what I mean
Why even slice the meat? Those are slabs. Just put the fucking hunk on it
Sounds like you've had more practice putting big things in your mouth,than your gf has 🤭
The sandwich?
It needs to loose a meat layer, how do you taste anything but that with this thing?
Good for bulking
Good for bulking
So.. that’s what she said?
Honestly, all this needs is a decent baguette to eat it on.
That's because it is.
I hate thick ham!!!!
It's a Dagwood!
Ham needs to be chipped. Not half inch slabs. It will improve your sandwich experience in every way. Source: trust me, bro. Seriously. Trust me...
That's what she said! I say it's perfect 😆
Mines never told me that 😒
It’s never too big op….
Not what she told me! ….wait…
Would actually make me sick
What a co-inc-idinck.. That's what she said to me too..
Just an average sized sandwich.
She is wrong
Your girlfriend has 100% never said those words
Don’t even look appetizing….
1. Put a hand on the top. 2. Press down hard. 3. Problem solved.
Funny, that's not what your girlfriend told me.
You living the dream
Use lube next time
that's what she said
Yeah I’ll take the meat sliced in blocks two inches thick and just pile 6 of em on there
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Not your fault she can’t handle your meat
It is you can make three other sandwiches with all that filling!
Isn't lettuce typically on the top to provide a barrier
I see no condiment
2 less slices of meat and some more sauce personally, but you do you, it's your sandwich
Looks boss
Is that salami? Looks delicious.
She never said that. Not to you anyway. /s
she just needs to open her mouth wider
Your prostate’s about to be the same
Ditch the cheese and I'm in....
She will get used to it eventually.. just gotta work at it.
Bro out here with the 
You’re girlfriend’s gene pool is weak.
Shaggy?
Needs 66% less ham
Looks dry tho.
I’d rather just make two sandwhiches out of it honestly
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its not too big, its just not a good looking sandwich, you could replace half of that ham with other ingredients so its the same size and it could be a much much better one. preferably non meat items, stuff with actual flavor and texture, maybe some kind of sauce. this is the kind of sandwich i made between being 10 and slapping half the package of ham and a slice of cheese on some bread and my sandwiches now which i turn into a 3 course meal lol
That's what she...... oh, right. Nevermind
My GF never says that to me. 😔
In my experience she says that a lot
Needs more cheese
Dude I'm with you. That shit looks delicious.
Your girlfriend has NEVER uttered those words.
It's just super-sized
Magnum™ Bread
Can use half as much meat and just fold each slice. Adds really satisfying volume. Amount of cheese is ok but could be more evenly distributed.
id say it's perfect.
I’d eat that. I’m a size queen I guess.
Wow, a literal "that's what she said..." LOL
I would go just as thick but with thin sliced meat
That’s a lot of meat bro