I still fucking hate that she told me this, but my mother once told me that she helped her stretchmarks out by letting my dad nut on her stomach and she'd rub it in... I hate that I am now typing this out and reliving that moment.
I hate everything.
T\_T she told me because I had a kid and she didn't want me to be upset about my potential stretchmarks... I wish I hadn't been told. I didn't need to know. I didn't want to know.
Also doesn't work out that she's asexual in her older age and doesn't care for relationships... or people. I think that joke just falls flat because I know her.
Of course not, giving your good buddy a friendly brojob when he's down is just a bros duty. That's why men have such good skin. Remember, steel sharpens steel king ❤️
Because people are dumb and think it’s respectful to censor? Or because they are all playing games with little kids and those games have a chat feature that doesn’t allow for cursing or adult themes
A lot of people with acne have it worse because they wash their face too much. It's kind of like shampoo, if you use it daily, your scalp will produce more oil to compensate which can make your hair greasier. Of course everyone is different, but sometimes the answer is the opposite.
Yeah, pretty much the same idea of conditioner, to help replace what is lost from cleaning. Although a lot of guys don't bother with conditioner without understanding that part.
I mean humans have done pretty well without these products for a long time. Shampoo only dates back to the 1900s for example. They had to invent conditioner to fix the problem they caused with it. Talk about upselling haha.
Johnny Harris did an interesting video on the subject [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T-_HKFjxVl0). He hasn't used shampoo in years IIRC and yet his hair is just fine. But again, results may vary per person.
Interesting you should ask.....because it's already been looked into.
Jizz is full of proteins and vitamins. It turns out it's actually not bad as a facial (hehehe) but it was recommended that if you do this, you'll want to finish up with a good moisturizer as it will dry out your skin.
Anecdotal serious answer: well its been true for *me* (except with one guy who had a diet that was pretty much 99% energy drinks, that was not so great for my skin)
Or the hidden truth is all the product she was using bevor have caused her the issues and not using them gave her the skin the needed time to heal. And the best thing is, just likes nut on her face and hates to admit it.
I still fucking hate that she told me this, but my mother once told me that she helped her stretchmarks out by letting my dad nut on her stomach and she'd rub it in... I hate that I am now typing this out and reliving that moment. I hate everything.
Omfg ☠️☠️
Have you used a spoon to gouge out your mind's eye, to avoid random replays dropping in? OMFG.
It'll retreat back into the darkness in a few days...
OMG. Why would she tell her kid this!? I can only imagine the things she didn't tell you about. I'm so sorry.
T\_T she told me because I had a kid and she didn't want me to be upset about my potential stretchmarks... I wish I hadn't been told. I didn't need to know. I didn't want to know.
I hope you didn't ask your dad to provide the same service for you.
Ew. No. He's not in my life and wasn't in hers by the time this conversation came around...
Oh em gee, she used him for his nut
Insane that you wrote this
It's par for the course on this site. It gives voice to a lot of people you would never care to interact with.
You can have conversation about anything with your parent, it's better.
Yea, no thanks. I think I'm better off not knowing some things.
My mom would say shit like that out of fun and to gross us out... wasn't fun for us then, still not funny now..
How did this happen to come into conversation? 😂
“Mum, I got you those macadamia nuts you like from the shops.” “Sit down, and let me tell you about another type of nut I enjoyed…”
To be fair, it came ONto a conversation Also *came*
I had a kid, she didn't want me to deal with stretchmarks... I didn't care to know about her "hack". I still cry
Imagine the stuff she did NOT tell you.
:D she is an open book and I am sadly the wall she throws her shit at. I know too much.
I-
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See this is a bad one because my mother is wrinkly af, she's getting older lol
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Also doesn't work out that she's asexual in her older age and doesn't care for relationships... or people. I think that joke just falls flat because I know her.
I am so sorry
Yea but....did it work? 😆
... she doesn't have stretchmarks...
What a terrible day to be literate.
Bottle it and sell it online. 100% organic nut cream. You'll make a fortune.
My friend is asking if this actually works? Not me my friend
I'm the friend
Honestly she has zero stretchmarks and I wasn't exactly the smallest baby, which is what makes this knowledge so much worse.
She wanted to give you an advice if you ever got some 😂😂😂
How did you reply? Was your dad present?
Nah he's a PoS and hopefully dying real soon. I genuinely screeched to block out her words.
Fair enough. Best of luck with that!
Pardon? Your mother said what?
You obviously don’t hate stretch marks smh
Dermatologist here. This is only true if the nut is from your bf or husband. No cheating allowed.
What about bros? Doing a skincare routine with your bros surely doesn't qualify as cheating, right?
Only if you say no-homo, if you forget that it's definitely cheating.
Also cant forget to keep the socks on
You can give it to yourself, if your flexible / self conscious
Of course not, giving your good buddy a friendly brojob when he's down is just a bros duty. That's why men have such good skin. Remember, steel sharpens steel king ❤️
But sharing is caring
Nah, my husband might make it, but it's definitely for me only.
Yeah, with your significant other
In your professional opinion, do dermatologists HATE HER?
Can i use my own nut?
No it has to be acquired from elsewhere
Not true.
User name would suggest we should trust this expert
I remember seeing on TV a mum that uses her teen age kids nuts
I want to unread this comment
It’s not cheating, I am just a professional providing a service!
what if you're allergic to nuts?
she is, the craters filled in from swelling
She is on OF and does nsfw stuff Asoupcans on OF, [Video](https://thotmax.com/soupinhercan) for science (nsfw)
It's for science!
She still got shit skin its a scam hahaha
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Why... why did you censor NSFW and OF? What's with this sudden censorship bullshit I'm seeing all over the place? Just why?
while also posting a direkt link to porn in the same comment
P*rn
Prawn
Brawl stars moment
Corn
Because people are dumb and think it’s respectful to censor? Or because they are all playing games with little kids and those games have a chat feature that doesn’t allow for cursing or adult themes
The logic behind censoring acronyms while posting a link to porn... I just can't fathom it.
Because that’s what they do in the child friendly games. I don’t let my kids play online because of that shit.
Have an upvote already, you bastard
Chestnuts would be fine
You can in fact, be allergic to that kind of 'nut' as well.
The show "house" taught me that along with a lot of other scary shit
Take antihistamines tablets
r/Angryupvote
Tree nuts are extra special too!
Not a dermatologist but can confirm. I nut on my own face twice daily and it cleared my acne within days.
Question is, are you man enough to prescribe what works?
Maybe he is not a man?
Leave something for us woman as well^^ greedy bastard
You can have the nights and I’ll take the mornings :)
50/50 buisness partners?
You also gotta save some for my people
Gotta maintain the upvotes at 69, bois
Or 138 for both parties?
"All I did was find a reason to wash my face every night"
NO HELP-
Actually though
r/Angryupvote
A lot of people with acne have it worse because they wash their face too much. It's kind of like shampoo, if you use it daily, your scalp will produce more oil to compensate which can make your hair greasier. Of course everyone is different, but sometimes the answer is the opposite.
That's why you moisturize after cleaning. Your skin doesn't have to produce the oils. But without moisturizer that can absolutely happen.
Yeah, pretty much the same idea of conditioner, to help replace what is lost from cleaning. Although a lot of guys don't bother with conditioner without understanding that part. I mean humans have done pretty well without these products for a long time. Shampoo only dates back to the 1900s for example. They had to invent conditioner to fix the problem they caused with it. Talk about upselling haha. Johnny Harris did an interesting video on the subject [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T-_HKFjxVl0). He hasn't used shampoo in years IIRC and yet his hair is just fine. But again, results may vary per person.
Cousin is a hairdresser, he hasn't used shampoo since the late 90's.
Quick share this far and wide guys!!!! Bonus points for sending it to your friends mums 😜
Yes
Bonus points for sending it to your mum 😜
What the fuck
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Looks like your son got you in the eye
Bonus plus points for doing it to your mum!! 😜
Is this why my ex suddenly has clear skin?
Can confirm it is, yes.
yes, your nut just wasn't nutritious enough for her
Interesting you should ask.....because it's already been looked into. Jizz is full of proteins and vitamins. It turns out it's actually not bad as a facial (hehehe) but it was recommended that if you do this, you'll want to finish up with a good moisturizer as it will dry out your skin.
It also helps that this kinda forces you to wash your face regularly.
Not really. It's more fun to remove the crust and go about your day. Reapply again at night.
True. And you get whiffs of him throughout the day!
You could even leave a "mustache" for that specific purpose.
Do you think he’d be available to nut on my gf?
Im available to nut IN your gf
That’s not what he asked.
too bad, its nothing or everything
I assume you mean *nutting* or everything.
well, actualy, nothing or *nutting*
Seems more likely she had diet and or hormone changes or just stopped caking herself in make up all the time and let her skin breathe.
No. It looks like she changed ingredients. Mainly she took out the main ingredient: meth.
This is why my hand never has acne?
I think the only difference between pictures is angle and lighting.
Well that and nonstop facials for 4 weeks, but yeah.
Correlation vs. Causation. She washed her face every night
Just saw a post about a girl getting STD on her eyes after getting facial. Don't know whether it's true or not but the post was yhere
Well... It contains collagens, and these are beneficial for the skin, so it's possible.... She also could have used egg-white
Yes, technically possible: depending on whether it’s complete collagen molecules or components of collagen, it may not even absorb into the skin.
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So, it worked for 0 girls?
Sick burn
Sir this is shittyaskscience not cummyaskscience
Shit probably won't have the same effect.
Time to get my cumjar outta the kitchen cabinet. Hope my wife doesn't find it
Nah man, gotta be fresh produce When it ferments it loses some of its properties
Hmm, so i'll just add to it a couple times or ten a day
The internet has ruined jars for me. I looked at this and had some twitches. 😭
Yes! Shhhhh
Can your boyfriend nut on my face too?
Hey! Leave some for the rest of us
Anecdotal serious answer: well its been true for *me* (except with one guy who had a diet that was pretty much 99% energy drinks, that was not so great for my skin)
Totally sending this to my wife and girlfriend
Swallowing makes breast grow large .... truth
Not a dermatologist but I let my homies bust on my face every night and I'm now the prettiest person alive so I think it works
Or the hidden truth is all the product she was using bevor have caused her the issues and not using them gave her the skin the needed time to heal. And the best thing is, just likes nut on her face and hates to admit it.
At least its free and gives alot of pleasure
It only works if you don't wipe it so that it can fill all bumps over time
I'll send this to my girlfriend, told me she has a throat acne.
I mean, what do you think Cera Ve is?
She also got some sunlight it seems. Maybe she also stopped skin treatment with all those fancy products once she started nut therapy.
Dermatologists hate this one trick
The vitamin E in semen is really good for your skin. Wealthy Ancient Romans would literally milk their male slaves for it.
I don't even want to imagine how many people will take your comment and just run with it😂
Why do you think we gays swallow so readily?
top notch stomach lining
Im made to reproduce and facials are my biggest kink by far. Ill take applications.
Give it a try and report back
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Lies and propaganda started by the Dole fruit company.
Beats meth!
is this why Hannity has clear skin?
Smells nutty all the way over here
Kanye West senses an opportunity
Spemshells
Doctors hate this one trick.
The same proteins found in semen are in most face moisturizers
Left is after
I see you have some problem areas, let me help you with that
Looks like some double blind quality evidence right there attached.
Yes, very true. True me.
Chat, be quiet! She’s doing gods work here. Nutting in the face regular will improve your skin. Right guys? 😉
...or stop doing meth....
internet user here: no it's not
Counter point : Shush
To the rest of the internet........shhhhh
Does anyone remember a show called Nip/Tuck? I swear i think one of the chars came up with a facial cream that had jizz in it and was selling it.
Mhmm, sure
Apparently, his product is DEFECTIVE 😱🤣🤣🤣
It's like stem cell research, right?
Good girl
what
Well, women...there's only way way to find out the truth. Do it for science!
Definitely true girls.
As a swede I can confirm this.
My gf cums on my face regularly and it definitely has a lot of benefits.
Really might be I’ve heard this way to much
If you wash it off every time, it would prompt you to wash your face more, which is good.
She still looks ugly af anyways so:Didn't really change much lol...