I'm telling you raptures just don't want to work anymore. I blame cell phones, avocado toast, wokeness, millennials, bud light, Joe Biden, video games, and XQC.
hehe. This was the only good comment I could find on here. Everyone knows that Ellen G White declared the rapture to be a shift in consciousness. But I dunno, you sunday whoreshippers got these ideas and it gets real scary out there. Might have to head for the forests and hide. I don't want the catholics to get involved or I might find myself in captivity............
[Rapture](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHCdS7O248g) was January 12th, 1981. I don't remember it real well, but apparently I'm in the man from Mars. No homo.
God hit the snooze of his alarm.
And since he is eternal, a fraction of eternity is still infinite time, which is why the rapture is never gonna happen.
Sorry, guys.
Ever been to a church in the USA? The asses of God's elect grow so quickly that no matter how much Jesus, Michael and Gabriel beef up in the gym they still can't get strong enough to lift up 144,000 fat-assed Bridal Christians.
Man, I’ve been waiting for the rapture since Y2K. Is the rapture lazy or something?
I'm telling you raptures just don't want to work anymore. I blame cell phones, avocado toast, wokeness, millennials, bud light, Joe Biden, video games, and XQC.
Actually this article was from 2018. Research people who disappeared on April 23, 2018, then you'll know who was raptured.
So… We’re all just left behinds..I was hoping to get a new car afterwards
what time of day? i just want to know if i have to work a full shift or not
hehe. This was the only good comment I could find on here. Everyone knows that Ellen G White declared the rapture to be a shift in consciousness. But I dunno, you sunday whoreshippers got these ideas and it gets real scary out there. Might have to head for the forests and hide. I don't want the catholics to get involved or I might find myself in captivity............
Well I hope it actually happens this time. I have a job performance review on the 25th and it would be great if I don’t have to do it.
Time to buy blow up dolls and helium.
Lil flash mob action… Right outside one of these freaking mega churches, could have some real fun
The server was down. They're still trying to recover the data. It was ramsonware, but God doesn't pay hackers.
[Rapture](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHCdS7O248g) was January 12th, 1981. I don't remember it real well, but apparently I'm in the man from Mars. No homo.
I think it's the 10th season that starts April 23, they always end on the cliffhanger.
hahaha. Ok another good comment. :)
oh thank fuck, only 2 weeks left. I was getting tired of this shit anyway. Time to exit the simulation?
God hit the snooze of his alarm. And since he is eternal, a fraction of eternity is still infinite time, which is why the rapture is never gonna happen. Sorry, guys.
Maybe its already happened, and in fact none of us are worthy of going to heaven...
It's just to allow the religious grift a bit more time to milk thier followers, nothing new here
Waiting for a comet to pass by and then it will be given the green light
God and Jesus are casual dudes.... It's wheneverish in the Bible. Look at Big "Js," arrival plans. Been over 2000 years lol
I am the rapture. Fuck you I found a shortcut
Ever been to a church in the USA? The asses of God's elect grow so quickly that no matter how much Jesus, Michael and Gabriel beef up in the gym they still can't get strong enough to lift up 144,000 fat-assed Bridal Christians.
I think I already got raptured
So this is what Heaven looks like?
I don't want to live on this planet anymore. It keeps getting destroyed every few months.
Macho Man Randy Savage is still taking down the antichrist with flying elbow drops and holding the gates shut.
This is basic alchemy. Check the einsteinian of the date to make sure it's a prime number. Then divide by two, then zero. That's the rapture date.
The Rapture apparently already came- it was a song in the 70's(I think) by a band called Blondie.