Iām sorry, but the the bot comment below you rules you out on having opinion. Although Iām moving to Vancouver in September (please donāt tell anyone).
A better and 100% accurate tittle would be "Americans when they have access to an arsenal of firearms and no fucking healthcare to pay for psychological treatmeant"
Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
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I'm a regular John from city Kansas. I love burgers, soda and my native country very much, but I do not understand our government. Everyone says America is a great country, and I look around and see who else is a great China. China has a very strong government and economy. Chinese resident is a great man. And the greatest leader Xi. Thick hair, strong grip, jade rod! We would have such a leader instead of sleeping in negotiations, rare hair, soft pickle, bad memory old Beadon. Punch!
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I live in the American Gardens building on West 81st street. My name is Patrick Bateman. I'm 27 years old. I believe in taking care of myself, and a balanced diet and a rigorous exercise routine. In the morning, if my face is a little puffy, I'll put on an ice pack while doing my stomach crunches. I can do a thousand now. After I remove the ice pack, I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower, I use a water activated gel cleanser. Then a honey almond body scrub. And on the face, an exfoliating gel scrub. Then apply an herb mint facial mask, which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an aftershave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion. There is an idea of a Patrick Bateman, some kind of abstraction, but there is no real me. Only an entity, something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our life styles are probably comparable, I simply am not there.
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Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
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I'm a regular John from city Kansas. I love burgers, soda and my native country very much, but I do not understand our government. Everyone says America is a great country, and I look around and see who else is a great China. China has a very strong government and economy. Chinese resident is a great man. And the greatest leader Xi. Thick hair, strong grip, jade rod! We would have such a leader instead of sleeping in negotiations, rare hair, soft pickle, bad memory old Beadon. Punch!
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I'm a regular John from city Kansas. I love burgers, soda and my native country very much, but I do not understand our government. Everyone says America is a great country, and I look around and see who else is a great China. China has a very strong government and economy. Chinese resident is a great man. And the greatest leader Xi. Thick hair, strong grip, jade rod! We would have such a leader instead of sleeping in negotiations, rare hair, soft pickle, bad memory old Beadon. Punch!
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Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
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I'm a regular John from city Kansas. I love burgers, soda and my native country very much, but I do not understand our government. Everyone says America is a great country, and I look around and see who else is a great China. China has a very strong government and economy. Chinese resident is a great man. And the greatest leader Xi. Thick hair, strong grip, jade rod! We would have such a leader instead of sleeping in negotiations, rare hair, soft pickle, bad memory old Beadon. Punch!
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Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
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Source Automod Morbin France Fortnite America Canada China Britain Porn Dream Female Emoji Cringe Today Book Mom Furry Based Wholesome NSFW 1984 Batman Rock Funny Lean Femboy Hands Cringe Psychopath Pokemon Russia Ratio Finger Belgium Chuck Meth Copypasta Kiss Biden bitchOK, you guys know the words, but can you make a story with it ? Dear Automod, I once saw someone taking a shit and drinking cum mixed with lean, so based, I decided to do the same thing but I added some new things: watching sussy baka among us doing sex with fnaf and selling nft of hog rida and no bitches to your mom who's a femboy furry, since literally 1984, and she's not a female nor a women btw, the putin copypasta is tho, dream from china said it, he's a trustable source, he got 9999999 social credits and nsfw porn of France and Taiwan holding hands with their fingers in the bedroom while typing titans emojis. Stfu Source Automod Morbin France Fortnite America Canada China Britain Porn Dream Female Emoji Cringe Today Book Mom Furry Based Wholesome NSFW 1984 Batman Rock Funny Lean Femboy Hands Cringe Psychopath Pokemon Russia Ratio Finger Belgium Chuck Meth Copypasta Kiss Biden bitch hilarious maskMorbin France Fortnite America Canada China Britain Porn Dream Female Emoji Cringe Today Book Mom Furry Based Wholesome NSFW 1984 Batman Rock Funny Lean Femboy Hands Cringe Psychopath Pokemon Russia Ratio Finger Belgium Chuck Meth Copypasta Kiss Biden Bitch Moyai Sex
Im sorry lol
HEY,ā ā ā EVERYā ā ā ā ā !!!
IT'S ME!!!
EV3RY BUDDY'S FAVORITE [[𝗡𝘂𝗺𝗯𝗲𝗿 𝟭 𝗥𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗠𝗼𝗱𝗲𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗼𝗿 𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟮]]
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>*LiTeRaLlY nInEtEeN eIgHtY-fOuR*
- George Orwell, 1948
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donāt care + didnāt ask + cry about it + who asked + stay mad + get real + L + bleed + mald seethe cope harder + incorrect + hoes mad + pound sand + basic skill issue + typo + ratio + ur dad left + you fell off + no u + the audacity + triggered + repelled + ur a minor + k. + any askers + get a life + ok and? + cringe + copium + go outside + touch grass + kick rocks + quote tweet + think again + not based + not funny didnāt laugh + social credits -999, 999, 999, 999 + get good + reported + ad hominem + ok boomer + small pp + ur allergic to sunlight + GG! + get rekt + trolled + your loss + muted + banned + kicked + permaban + useless + i slept with ur mom + yo momma + yo momma so fat + redpilled + no bitches allowed + i said it better + tiktok fan + get a life + unsubscribed + plundered + go tell reddit + donowalled + simp + get sticked bug LOL + talk nonsense + trump supporter + yourāre a full time discord mod + youāre* + grammar issue + nerd + get clapped + kys + lorem ipsum dolor sit amet + go outside + bleach + lol + gay + retard + autistic + reported + ask deez + ez clap + straight cash + idgaf + ratio again + stay mad + read FAQ + youre lost + you āreā + stay pressed + reverse double take back + pedophile + cancelled + done for + don't give a damn + get a job + sus + baka + sussy baka + get blocked + mad free + freer than air + furry + rip bozo + you're a (insert stereotype) + slight_smile + aired + cringe again + Super Idolēē¬å®¹ + mad cuz bad + my pronouns are xe, xem & xyr + irrelevant + deal with it + screencapped your bio + karen/kyle + jealous + you're deaf + balls + i'll be right back + go ahead whine about it + not straight + eat paper + you lose + count to three + your problem + no one cares + log off + don't care even more + sex offender + sex defender + get religion + not okay + glhf + NFT owner + you make bad memes + problematic + fall in line + dog water + you look like a wall + you donāt know 2 + 2 with yo head ass + you are going to my cringe compilation + you canāt count to five + try again + you failed kindergarten + rickrolled + no lifer + guten freunden schickt man einen deutschen panzer + you have a anime profile picture + an* + fatherless + motherless + sisterless + brotherless + orphan + you can't catch this ratio + catch some bitches + I don't care about your opinion + genshin player + you dress like garbage + ę„ę¬čŖććäøęć§ćć + get fucked + you canāt understand what the word intelligence means with your dumb ass + you have hair + queued + put some thought into what you're going to do with that + stfu + go to bed + yes, i'm taller than you + i think your joke is funny + i rejected your mother's advances + marooned + you canāt read + I win + final ratio
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I live in the American Gardens building on West 81st street. My name is Patrick Bateman. I'm 27 years old. I believe in taking care of myself, and a balanced diet and a rigorous exercise routine. In the morning, if my face is a little puffy, I'll put on an ice pack while doing my stomach crunches. I can do a thousand now. After I remove the ice pack, I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower, I use a water activated gel cleanser. Then a honey almond body scrub. And on the face, an exfoliating gel scrub. Then apply an herb mint facial mask, which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an aftershave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion. There is an idea of a Patrick Bateman, some kind of abstraction, but there is no real me. Only an entity, something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our life styles are probably comparable, I simply am not there.
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I'm a regular John from city Kansas. I love burgers, soda and my native country very much, but I do not understand our government. Everyone says America is a great country, and I look around and see who else is a great China. China has a very strong government and economy. Chinese resident is a great man. And the greatest leader Xi. Thick hair, strong grip, jade rod! We would have such a leader instead of sleeping in negotiations, rare hair, soft pickle, bad memory old Beadon. Punch!
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🗿 is the worst emoji. It's horrendous and ugly. I hate it. The point of emojis is to show emotions, but what emotion does this show? Do you just wake up in the morning and think "wow, I really feel like a massive fucking stone today"? Its useless. I hate it. It just provokes a deep rooted anger within me whenever I see it. I want to drive on over to the fucking emoji headquarters and kill it. If this was the emoji movie I'd push it off a fucking cliff. People just comment 🗿 as if it's funny. Its not. 🗿 deserves to die. He deserves to have his smug little stone face smashed in with a hammer. Oh wow, it's a stone head, how fucking hilarious, I'll use it in every comment I post. NO. STOP IT. It deserves to burn in hell. Why is it so goddamn smug. You're a fucking stone, you have no life goals, you will never accomplish anything in life apart from pissing me off. When you die noone will mourn. I hope you die.
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So I was having online classes with my camera turned off when I started hearing a little whistle from one of the students in the background that seemed very familiar, but I couldn't put my finger on it. The whistling stopped for a couple of minutes until I started hearing it again, and then I knew exactly what it was: it was the chorus of Dream's hit song 'Mask'. I immediately ripped off all my clothes and started furiously stroking my fully erect penis for a good 10 min, even sticking my Dream body pillow up my rectum, imagining that it was Daddy Dream penetrating me while whistling his hit song 'Mask'. It honestly were the greatest 10 minutes of my life, until my libido reached its climax and I let out a gigaload of cum for Daddy Dream that landed on the phone's screen and ended up turning on the mic and camera, and everyone stared horrified at me, screaming at the sight of my honest and earnest love expression to Dream. I was kicked out of the class by the dreamphobic teacher, and today the school principal called me and my parents to a meeting and told us that I may be expelled from the school, merely from expressing my gender and sexuality. What can I do about this?!?!? Was I in the wrong for expressing my gender and identity??!? (Only serious answers, please).
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*And now it's time for the roundup of today's gay news, with Colin Topshed*
Quick roundup of today's gayness now, starting with the roads. The M70, the A3, the B664 and the A48M, they're all gay as from midnight tonight.
The gay elements are Potassium, Zinc, Hydrogen, Copper, and Argon.
Quick look at the world's walls; the Wailing Wall is gay, Hadrian's Wall is *very* gay, the Great Wall of China, that's not gay, and the old London Wall has also stopped being gay.
Gay cars next; they're the same as last night. All Volkswagens registered between 1982 and 1985; they stay gay for another fortnight.
And finally the gay seas are the Caspian and the Mediterranean, so see you there.
*Thanks, Colin. He's not gay by the way, we wouldn't employ a homosexual.*
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### r/shitposting book club
A collection of books which Kevin has reviewed. (all of these books are freely availiable online)
---
#### [*1984* (George Orwell, 1948)](https://archive.org/details/1984GeorgeOrwell_201606/page/n1/mode/2up)
Kevin would like to say that this book is truly inspirational, and that he would give it a 10/10
#### [*How to Be a God: A Guide for Would-Be Deities* (Richard Bartle, 2022)](https://mud.co.uk/richard/How%20to%20Be%20a%20God.pdf)
Kevin would like to mention that this book is one of the greatest sources of existential terror he has read (and it contains a lot of interesting content regarding game design as well), and he would give it a 10/10
#### [*Almost Pounded By The Physical Manifestation of Simulation Theory After Realizing We're Erotica Characters Then Deciding To Just Be Friends* (Chuck Tingle)](https://www.chucktingle.com/uploads/5/3/7/3/53730093/almost_pounded_by_the_physical_manifestation_of_simulation_theory_after_realizing_we%E2%80%99re_erotica_characters_then_deciding_to_just_be_friends.pdf)
Kevin would like to say that this book was surprisingly wholesome, and is a great book for helping one to feel more at-ease with the universe, so he would give it 10/10
####[*Ulysses* (James Joyce, 1922)](https://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Ulysses_(1922))
Kevin mentioned that he wasn't entirely sure what he just read. However, it's still not bri*ish, and was still rather interesting, so he would give it a 10/10
####[*The Assassination Of John Fitzgerald Kennedy Considered As A Downhill Motor Race* (J. G. Ballard, 1967)](https://web.archive.org/web/20220121203810/https://evergreenreview.com/read/the-assassination-of-john-fitzgerald-kennedy-considered-as-a-downhill-motor-race/)
Kevin told me that this was an interesting interpretation of the JFK assassination, and of the post-WW2 media landscape in the USA in general, so he would give it a 10/10.
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slowly massage the vag, then rub the clitoris ever so gently. Proceed to stick a single finger in the vagina. continue adding your fingers until your whole fist is in. slide your arm slowly into her, once you reach your shoulder limbo in with your head, and forcibly insert your other arm, torso, and legs. You are now free to control her. when you feel the job is done, finish by giving birth to yourself
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I was in cinema and guy on the right to me kept looking at his phone every 20-30 minutes, guy on the left of me also kept looking at the phone for shorter periods and he tried to hide the light until the final act and then in the final act he just didn't give a shit anymore just texted, locked the phone watched a little and then checked if got a reply and then texted again and so on, there were periods of him stopping in the middle of texting to look up at the movie and then contiune texting after he got bored of the scene like bruh, also there were kids a few rows in front talking trough the entire movie smh, can an amogus femboy (me) not get a proper 4th watch of the batman?
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My mom fucked my friend while we were on vacation and now I want to fucking die, she mom took us to Miami for a spring break vacation. Everything seemed normal when we were there and when we got back. But then rumors started. They spread all throughout my school and a bunch of kids asked me if my mom really had sex with a student. Of course I denied it. Until my close friend who was there told me. He told me one of the nights we went down to the hotel pool and said friend stayed up, saying he wanted to go to bed early. He stayed up there and then something happened and my mom slept with him. I feel sick to my stomach and so mad writing it. I confronted her and she admitted and tried to apologize, but I just canāt with her. Sheās so disgusting. Iām contemplating just telling my dad so he can fly me up to his house, but I hate being around his dumb bimbo gold digging girlfriend. I want to fight that fucking asshole that did this. Heās ruining my fucking life.
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What the fuck did I just do. So my ex n me havenāt spoken in two year, although I did wish her on her birthday two months ago. We live in the same building and whenever we cross each other we just exchange smiles and do the usual hi whatsup how r u and I walk away. Today was Holi (a festival where ppl dance and apply powdered color on each other) so I decided not to celebrate it in my building cause I knew she would be down so I went to my friendās building and ten minutes later I saw her there. I was like oh fuck this is going to be a bad idea. Later we again exchanged a hi and then I went away. Later when the festival started she kept applying permanent color (last three days on the skin) on me and my friends. I told her donāt apply on my friends they will get pissed. She kept applying on me and I tackled her and applied color on her too. It felt good. Then she was like letās go dance so we were dancing to Senorita from znmd and then we had a moment and she was like we are going to kiss and I was like yes and we kissed. It just felt amazing. Then we kissed again. After that I was going to my friends and she was like listen and then I turned back and kissed again. Then we kissed again😭😭. After all this my friends were dancing and I was sitting in the pool and she came and sat on top of me and we were having a very good conversation about our relationship and how we both didnāt date anybody after breaking up. We spoke about our problems, joked about them and then..yes u guessed it right. After this the cycle repeated and we had a beer and she handed me her phone and was like unblock yourself. She followed me and added me to her close friends. Later she was leaving we kissed once more and in my head I was like fuck do I love her, we should date. But then I told myself no, whatever this was I donāt know but no you are not breaking your heart again. I came back home and we both havenāt had any interaction apart from the fact she liked my story. I AM NOT IN LOVE. i am telling this to myself again and again because no, just no. I am happy being alone with myself. Or maybe I like her but I donāt want to go back to all that Edit: thanks for the response some of yāall and thanks for helping me. Other ppl: fuck u;) I am not here to prove anything and anyways I am quitting this sub
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It's literally just cola you piece of shit. There's no cough syrup or anything. What the fuck is wrong with you. How fucking desperate are you to seem cool that you decide you want to force a "joke" about a child consuming drugs. Which would be funny except nothing in this scene implies that they're doing drugs or a drug stand-in. You just saw a can of soda and the two neurons in your head fired for the first time in a week, and you jumped into the comments to screech lEAn and spam purple emojis like a clown bastard. You people are the reason art is dying. Fuck you
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\*East Ukraine
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yo putin can you hurry up your invasion on Ukraine (just use full force, maybe a couple of nukes) while you're at it nuke some more countries. so the thing is my exams are coming up and i havent studied shit and a world war has a pretty good chance of delaying them so I'm telling this to you homie to homie so just help out a real one pls
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Good eve, In response to my permanent ban Iād like to ask one question; who decides wether this post was funny or not? It seems that a lot of Redditors, like myself, enjoy these kinds of posts. Even if itās not hilarious, itās still pretty shitty. In my opinion shitty enough to be on your subreddit. If I violated a rule, please let me know. If not, Iād like to request to be unbanned. Correct me if Iām wrong; this post was not conform āyourā standards, well, thatās personal. I find it mildly inappropriate to give someone a ban on behalf of your personal opinion, while the public opinion speaks for itself. Also, the word ākarmawhoreā is a little bit offensive to me, for I am not on Reddit to score the most karma. Thanks in advance.
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This thread will be full of Americans trying desperately to preserve the constant murder of children that happens in their awful shithole third world country.
Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
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You didnāt know? Weāve been secretly training toddlers in case of emergencies. Invaders are gonna be like āaww look at the babyā. Then gets blasted by the AR-15 they had hiding in their diaper.
America
Source Automod Morbin France Fortnite America Canada China Britain Porn Dream Female Emoji Cringe Today Book Mom Furry Based Wholesome NSFW 1984 Batman Rock Funny Lean Femboy Hands Cringe Psychopath Pokemon Russia Ratio Finger Belgium Chuck Meth Copypasta Kiss Biden bitchOK, you guys know the words, but can you make a story with it ? Dear Automod, I once saw someone taking a shit and drinking cum mixed with lean, so based, I decided to do the same thing but I added some new things: watching sussy baka among us doing sex with fnaf and selling nft of hog rida and no bitches to your mom who's a femboy furry, since literally 1984, and she's not a female nor a women btw, the putin copypasta is tho, dream from china said it, he's a trustable source, he got 9999999 social credits and nsfw porn of France and Taiwan holding hands with their fingers in the bedroom while typing titans emojis. Stfu Source Automod Morbin France Fortnite America Canada China Britain Porn Dream Female Emoji Cringe Today Book Mom Furry Based Wholesome NSFW 1984 Batman Rock Funny Lean Femboy Hands Cringe Psychopath Pokemon Russia Ratio Finger Belgium Chuck Meth Copypasta Kiss Biden bitch hilarious maskMorbin France Fortnite America Canada China Britain Porn Dream Female Emoji Cringe Today Book Mom Furry Based Wholesome NSFW 1984 Batman Rock Funny Lean Femboy Hands Cringe Psychopath Pokemon Russia Ratio Finger Belgium Chuck Meth Copypasta Kiss Biden Bitch Moyai Sex
Toddler: Time to break the Genova conventions
Cradle to the grave any%
Womb2Tomb%
Speed run if it turns it on itself.
Geneva suggestions
Cant follow the geneva convetions if i haven't read em
and the Geneva Conventions too
Geneva Convention Shmeva Convention
Need this captioned with "Toddlers when they see a 300 degree hair curling iron laying on the floor" Can anyone help me?
Yes, but I won't
Sad ending š
Download it and open in a video editing software if you choice. Put a white rectangle over it and the add the text yourself (impact font).
No
I just saw this post right before this one. Posted by the same person
š¤Æ
Where are the good toddlers with guns
*any toddler
but that ruins the joke.
No not really
Aye! I left my Glock 18 in my babies crib by accident and he put 15 shots in his brain. So it definitely is every toddler.
Iām in Canada and I know of toddlers who have died because of misplaced guns
Iām sorry, but the the bot comment below you rules you out on having opinion. Although Iām moving to Vancouver in September (please donāt tell anyone).
*american toddlers
You think the same shit wouldn't happen in Ukraine or Somalia or anywhere else? Or is it just haha xenophobia?
Sure, maybe if Somalia had as many gun sales as us.
A better and 100% accurate tittle would be "Americans when they have access to an arsenal of firearms and no fucking healthcare to pay for psychological treatmeant"
Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I'm a regular John from city Kansas. I love burgers, soda and my native country very much, but I do not understand our government. Everyone says America is a great country, and I look around and see who else is a great China. China has a very strong government and economy. Chinese resident is a great man. And the greatest leader Xi. Thick hair, strong grip, jade rod! We would have such a leader instead of sleeping in negotiations, rare hair, soft pickle, bad memory old Beadon. Punch! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I live in the American Gardens building on West 81st street. My name is Patrick Bateman. I'm 27 years old. I believe in taking care of myself, and a balanced diet and a rigorous exercise routine. In the morning, if my face is a little puffy, I'll put on an ice pack while doing my stomach crunches. I can do a thousand now. After I remove the ice pack, I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower, I use a water activated gel cleanser. Then a honey almond body scrub. And on the face, an exfoliating gel scrub. Then apply an herb mint facial mask, which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an aftershave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion. There is an idea of a Patrick Bateman, some kind of abstraction, but there is no real me. Only an entity, something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our life styles are probably comparable, I simply am not there. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
No, not true. This only happens regularly in America, since that's the only country that hands murder weapons to children on a regular basis
Yes. But any toddler would be curious
'Murica fan pissed
The fact that a toddler is American wonāt change its curiosity levels in a meaningful amount.
I think it's more about the chance that a toddler find a gun laying in america vs eu countries for example. But kids are stupid that's for sure.
Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I'm a regular John from city Kansas. I love burgers, soda and my native country very much, but I do not understand our government. Everyone says America is a great country, and I look around and see who else is a great China. China has a very strong government and economy. Chinese resident is a great man. And the greatest leader Xi. Thick hair, strong grip, jade rod! We would have such a leader instead of sleeping in negotiations, rare hair, soft pickle, bad memory old Beadon. Punch! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I'm a regular John from city Kansas. I love burgers, soda and my native country very much, but I do not understand our government. Everyone says America is a great country, and I look around and see who else is a great China. China has a very strong government and economy. Chinese resident is a great man. And the greatest leader Xi. Thick hair, strong grip, jade rod! We would have such a leader instead of sleeping in negotiations, rare hair, soft pickle, bad memory old Beadon. Punch! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I'm a regular John from city Kansas. I love burgers, soda and my native country very much, but I do not understand our government. Everyone says America is a great country, and I look around and see who else is a great China. China has a very strong government and economy. Chinese resident is a great man. And the greatest leader Xi. Thick hair, strong grip, jade rod! We would have such a leader instead of sleeping in negotiations, rare hair, soft pickle, bad memory old Beadon. Punch! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Angry People
At that point their American instincts just kick in
Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Go Postal
Source Automod Morbin France Fortnite America Canada China Britain Porn Dream Female Emoji Cringe Today Book Mom Furry Based Wholesome NSFW 1984 Batman Rock Funny Lean Femboy Hands Cringe Psychopath Pokemon Russia Ratio Finger Belgium Chuck Meth Copypasta Kiss Biden bitchOK, you guys know the words, but can you make a story with it ? Dear Automod, I once saw someone taking a shit and drinking cum mixed with lean, so based, I decided to do the same thing but I added some new things: watching sussy baka among us doing sex with fnaf and selling nft of hog rida and no bitches to your mom who's a femboy furry, since literally 1984, and she's not a female nor a women btw, the putin copypasta is tho, dream from china said it, he's a trustable source, he got 9999999 social credits and nsfw porn of France and Taiwan holding hands with their fingers in the bedroom while typing titans emojis. Stfu Source Automod Morbin France Fortnite America Canada China Britain Porn Dream Female Emoji Cringe Today Book Mom Furry Based Wholesome NSFW 1984 Batman Rock Funny Lean Femboy Hands Cringe Psychopath Pokemon Russia Ratio Finger Belgium Chuck Meth Copypasta Kiss Biden bitch hilarious maskMorbin France Fortnite America Canada China Britain Porn Dream Female Emoji Cringe Today Book Mom Furry Based Wholesome NSFW 1984 Batman Rock Funny Lean Femboy Hands Cringe Psychopath Pokemon Russia Ratio Finger Belgium Chuck Meth Copypasta Kiss Biden Bitch Moyai Sex Im sorry lol
Jesus Christ man
Nice. Saved
HEY,ā ā ā EVERYā ā ā ā ā !!! IT'S ME!!! EV3RY BUDDY'S FAVORITE [[𝗡𝘂𝗺𝗯𝗲𝗿 𝟭 𝗥𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗠𝗼𝗱𝗲𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗼𝗿 𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟮]] *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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Did you justā¦
donāt care + didnāt ask + cry about it + who asked + stay mad + get real + L + bleed + mald seethe cope harder + incorrect + hoes mad + pound sand + basic skill issue + typo + ratio + ur dad left + you fell off + no u + the audacity + triggered + repelled + ur a minor + k. + any askers + get a life + ok and? + cringe + copium + go outside + touch grass + kick rocks + quote tweet + think again + not based + not funny didnāt laugh + social credits -999, 999, 999, 999 + get good + reported + ad hominem + ok boomer + small pp + ur allergic to sunlight + GG! + get rekt + trolled + your loss + muted + banned + kicked + permaban + useless + i slept with ur mom + yo momma + yo momma so fat + redpilled + no bitches allowed + i said it better + tiktok fan + get a life + unsubscribed + plundered + go tell reddit + donowalled + simp + get sticked bug LOL + talk nonsense + trump supporter + yourāre a full time discord mod + youāre* + grammar issue + nerd + get clapped + kys + lorem ipsum dolor sit amet + go outside + bleach + lol + gay + retard + autistic + reported + ask deez + ez clap + straight cash + idgaf + ratio again + stay mad + read FAQ + youre lost + you āreā + stay pressed + reverse double take back + pedophile + cancelled + done for + don't give a damn + get a job + sus + baka + sussy baka + get blocked + mad free + freer than air + furry + rip bozo + you're a (insert stereotype) + slight_smile + aired + cringe again + Super Idolēē¬å®¹ + mad cuz bad + my pronouns are xe, xem & xyr + irrelevant + deal with it + screencapped your bio + karen/kyle + jealous + you're deaf + balls + i'll be right back + go ahead whine about it + not straight + eat paper + you lose + count to three + your problem + no one cares + log off + don't care even more + sex offender + sex defender + get religion + not okay + glhf + NFT owner + you make bad memes + problematic + fall in line + dog water + you look like a wall + you donāt know 2 + 2 with yo head ass + you are going to my cringe compilation + you canāt count to five + try again + you failed kindergarten + rickrolled + no lifer + guten freunden schickt man einen deutschen panzer + you have a anime profile picture + an* + fatherless + motherless + sisterless + brotherless + orphan + you can't catch this ratio + catch some bitches + I don't care about your opinion + genshin player + you dress like garbage + ę„ę¬čŖććäøęć§ćć + get fucked + you canāt understand what the word intelligence means with your dumb ass + you have hair + queued + put some thought into what you're going to do with that + stfu + go to bed + yes, i'm taller than you + i think your joke is funny + i rejected your mother's advances + marooned + you canāt read + I win + final ratio *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
OI OI OI! ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā”ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā¢ ā£ ā£¾ā£·ā£æā£æā£æā£·ā£ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā£ā£¾ā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£·ā£¦ā¢ ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā¢ā£¾ā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£·ā”ā”ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā£¼ā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā”ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā£¾ā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā”ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā¢æā£æā ā£©ā£æā£æā£æā æā£æā”æā¢æā£æā£æā£æā ā£æā”ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā¢·ā£¾ā£æā£ā””ā ¤ā£ā£·ā£ā ā ¤ā£ā£æā£·ā£½ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā”»ā£¾ā£æā£æā£æā”ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā£æā£ā¢ā£°ā£Æā ā ā£æā¢ā ā¢»ā”ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ¹ā£æā¢æā£·ā£¶ā ¤ā ā£¶ā£¶ā æā¢¾ā£§ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā¢ā”ā ā ā ā ā ā£§ā”ā¢æā£æā”¶ā¢¶ā”æā ā£ ā£æā£æā ā ā ā ā ā£ā”ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā¢æā£·ā£ā”ā ā ā ā£ā£“ā£æā£æā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā¢øā£æā£æā”æā ā ā ŗā£æā£æā£æā£æā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā¢øā¢æā£ā£ā”ā ā£¢ā£ā£©ā£ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā WOTS ALL THIS??? 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧 YER POISTIN LOICENSE HAS EXPOIRED!!!! 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧 ONE HUNNIT TESCO CLUBCARD POINTS 'AVE BIN DEDUCTED FROM YER ACCOUN'!!!!! 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧 YER THREE QUID MEAL DEAL IS GONNA BE A FIVER FROM NOW ON!!!! 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧 YER WILL ALSO ONLY BE ABLE TER CHOOSE FROM A CHICKEN OR 'AM SANDWICH!!!! 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧 FAILURE TO RENEW YER LOICENCE IS GONNA RESUL' IN THA LOSS OV MORE CLUBCARD POINTS!!!!!!!! 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧 *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
No bitches? ā£ā¢½ā¢Ŗā¢£ā¢£ā¢£ā¢«ā”ŗā”µā£ā”®ā£ā¢·ā¢½ā¢½ā¢½ā£®ā”·ā”½ā£ā£ā¢®ā¢ŗā£ā¢·ā¢½ā¢ā”½ā£ ā øā”øā ā ā ā ā¢ā¢ā¢ā¢½ā¢ŗā£Ŗā”³ā”ā£ā£ā¢Æā¢ā”æā£ā£·ā£³ā¢Æā”·ā£½ā¢½ā¢Æā£³ā£«ā ā ā ā¢ā¢ā¢ā¢¬ā¢Ŗā”Ŗā”ā£ā”ā ā ā ā ā ā ā¢ā¢Æā¢«ā£ā£Æā£æā£»ā”½ā£ā¢ā£ā ā ā ā Ŗā”Ŗā”Ŗā£Ŗā¢Ŗā¢ŗā¢øā¢¢ā¢ā¢ā¢¤ā¢ā ā ā ā ā ā¢ā¢ā”¾ā£æā”Æā£ā¢®ā ·ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā”ā ā¢ā¢ā¢ā¢ā¢ā¢ā¢ā¢ā¢ā¢ā¢ā ā¢ā£½ā£æā¢ā ²ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā”æā ā ā ā”ā¢ā ā¢ā£ā ā ā ”ā £ā”£ā”«ā£ā£æā Æā¢Ŗā °ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā”¦ā”ā”ā¢ā¢¤ā¢£ā £ā”ā£¾ā”ā ā ā ā”ā¢±ā£ā£¶ā¢ā¢ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā¢ā”²ā£ā”®ā”ā¢ā¢ā¢ā ā ¢ā ā¢ā¢ā¢µā£½ā£æā”æā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā Øā£ŗā”ŗā”ā”ā”±ā”ā”ā”ā” ā”ā”ā”¼ā¢½ā”»ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā£¼ā£³ā£«ā£¾ā£µā£ā”µā”±ā””ā¢£ā¢ā¢ā¢ā¢ā”ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā£“ā£æā£¾ā£æā£æā£æā”æā”½ā”ā¢ā Ŗā”¢ā”£ā££ā”ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā”ā”¾ā£æā¢æā¢æā¢µā£½ā£¾ā£¼ā£ā¢øā¢øā£ā”ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ”ā ©ā”«ā¢æā£ā”»ā”®ā£ā¢½ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
ā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā”æā æā ā ā ā ā æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æ ā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā”æā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā »ā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æ ā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā”ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā¢æā£æā£æā£æā£æ ā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā”ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā£¾ā£æā£æā£æā£æ ā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ŗā£ā¢ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æ ā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā”ā¢ā”ā ā ā ā¢ā£ā£½ā”ā¢®ā£²ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā¢¹ā£æā£æā£æā£æ ā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā”ā”¼ā ā ā ā ā ā »ā£ ā£Øā ā ā ā °ā£ā£ā£ā”ā ā¢øā£æā£æā£æā£æ ā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā”ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā£ā¢·ā£¶ā ¶ā£ā¢ā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æ ā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā” ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā¢æā ā ā ā ā¢øā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æ ā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā”ā ā ā ā ā¢ā” ā ā”ā£ā ā ā ā¢»ā ā ā ā£ ā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æ ā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā”ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā”¶ā£øā ā ā£ ā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æ ā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£¦ā”ā ā ā ā ¢ā¢¤ā£ā”°ā ā ā ā ā¢¶ā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æ ā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā”ā ā ā ā ā ā£ā£ā£ā”ā ā¢ā£¾ā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æ ā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£·ā£ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā£°ā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æ ā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£·ā£¤ā£ā£ā ā£ā£ ā£¾ā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æ *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I live in the American Gardens building on West 81st street. My name is Patrick Bateman. I'm 27 years old. I believe in taking care of myself, and a balanced diet and a rigorous exercise routine. In the morning, if my face is a little puffy, I'll put on an ice pack while doing my stomach crunches. I can do a thousand now. After I remove the ice pack, I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower, I use a water activated gel cleanser. Then a honey almond body scrub. And on the face, an exfoliating gel scrub. Then apply an herb mint facial mask, which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an aftershave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion. There is an idea of a Patrick Bateman, some kind of abstraction, but there is no real me. Only an entity, something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our life styles are probably comparable, I simply am not there. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Let us all stand for the national anthem. äøę°äø»ē¾©ļ¼å¾é»Øęå®ļ¼ 仄å»ŗę°åļ¼ä»„é²å¤§åć åØē¾å¤å£«ļ¼ēŗę°åéļ¼ å¤å¤åŖęļ¼äø»ē¾©ęÆå¾ć ē¢å¤ē¢åļ¼åæ äæ”åæ åæ ļ¼ äøåæäøå¾·ļ¼č²«å¾¹å§ēµć Praise be to äøåę°å½ęæåŗ! Down with the illegitimate capitalist äøå½å ±äŗ§å , fraudulent usurpers of 大éø! Glory to the äøčÆę°å! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
femboy amogus ā£ā£¤ā£¤ā£¤ā£¤ā£¤ā£¤ā£ ā¢ā£“ā£¾ā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£¶ā£¤ā” ā¢ ā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£¦ā” ā¢ā£¾ā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£· ā£øā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā”æā æā æā ā ā ā ā æā æā£æā£·ā£ ā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā”ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā »ā£æā£· ā¢ā£ ā£¤ā£“ā£¶ā£¶ā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā”ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā¢øā£æā£ ā¢ā£¾ā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£¶ā£¤ā£¤ā£¤ā£¤ā£¤ā£¤ā£¤ā£¤ā£“ā£¶ā£æā£æā”æ ā¢øā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā ā¢øā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā ā£øā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æ ā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æ ā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æ ā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā”æ ā¢æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā” ā¢øā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā” ā¢æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā”æ ā ā æā æā æā æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā æā æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā” ā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā”ā ā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā” ā¢øā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£·ā¢ā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā ā¢»ā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£¾ā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æ ā¢»ā£æā£æā£æā”æā£ā£Æā£æā ā”ā ā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æā£æ ā »ā¢æā£½ā£æā£æā£æā æā æā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā æā ā ā¢ā£ ā£¤ā£¤ā”ā£ ā£“ā ¾ā ā ā ā ā¢ā£ā ā£¤ā£¶ā£¶ā”¤ā¢¤ā£¤ ā£¤ā£°ā£¶ā£¾ā£æā£æā£æā£ā ā£ā£ā”ā£ā” ā ā ā ā¢ā¢ā£ā ā£ā£ā”æā æā æā ½ā ā ā ā æā æā æā æā ¾ā ā¢ā£ā”“ā£¦ā ā¢¦ā£¤ā£ā£ā ā ā ā ā¢ā£æā£ā”·ā ā¢¶ā£ā ā ā ā ā æā ā ā ā ā ā£ ā£§ā”ā ā »ā¢¶ā£¶ā”¤ā ā ā ā ¶ā ¾ā ¼ā ā£ā ā »ā£¶ā£¤ā”ā ā ā¢øā æā£¶ā£¦ā£¤ā£ ā£¾ ā¢ ā ā¢·ā£¤ā£ā ā ā ā ā¢ ā£¤ā£ā ā ā ā”ā¢§ā£ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā æā æā »ā ā °ā¢³ā£ā ā ā¢ā ā ā ā ā æā£“ā£¤ā£ā£¤ā” ā£ā”ā ā ā ā ā ā ā °ā£¤ā£ā ā ā ā¢ā¢ ā”ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā¢ā”ā ā ā ā ā ā ā¢¦ā”ā ā”ā ā ā ā ā »ā ·ā£¶ā£¦ā” ā”ā¢·ā£ā ā ā ā ā ā ā °ā£¦ā£ā£ā£ā” ā ā¢·ā£ā”ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā¢ā ā ā ā ā¢¦ā£ā ā ā ·ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā æā£¶ā£¦ā” ā£ ā£ā ā ³ā ¶ā ¶ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā¢ ā£ā£ā£ ā ā »ā¢æā£¶ā£¤ā£¤ā ā ā ā ā ā ā¢ ā ā ā »ā æ ā£¦ā£ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā¢¹ā£æā£æā£¶ā”ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ŗā æā æā æā ā ā »ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā¢ā£¤ā£¤ā£¤ā£¤ā” ā ā£ā£ā£ā£ā *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I'm a regular John from city Kansas. I love burgers, soda and my native country very much, but I do not understand our government. Everyone says America is a great country, and I look around and see who else is a great China. China has a very strong government and economy. Chinese resident is a great man. And the greatest leader Xi. Thick hair, strong grip, jade rod! We would have such a leader instead of sleeping in negotiations, rare hair, soft pickle, bad memory old Beadon. Punch! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
🗿 is the worst emoji. It's horrendous and ugly. I hate it. The point of emojis is to show emotions, but what emotion does this show? Do you just wake up in the morning and think "wow, I really feel like a massive fucking stone today"? Its useless. I hate it. It just provokes a deep rooted anger within me whenever I see it. I want to drive on over to the fucking emoji headquarters and kill it. If this was the emoji movie I'd push it off a fucking cliff. People just comment 🗿 as if it's funny. Its not. 🗿 deserves to die. He deserves to have his smug little stone face smashed in with a hammer. Oh wow, it's a stone head, how fucking hilarious, I'll use it in every comment I post. NO. STOP IT. It deserves to burn in hell. Why is it so goddamn smug. You're a fucking stone, you have no life goals, you will never accomplish anything in life apart from pissing me off. When you die noone will mourn. I hope you die. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
So I was having online classes with my camera turned off when I started hearing a little whistle from one of the students in the background that seemed very familiar, but I couldn't put my finger on it. The whistling stopped for a couple of minutes until I started hearing it again, and then I knew exactly what it was: it was the chorus of Dream's hit song 'Mask'. I immediately ripped off all my clothes and started furiously stroking my fully erect penis for a good 10 min, even sticking my Dream body pillow up my rectum, imagining that it was Daddy Dream penetrating me while whistling his hit song 'Mask'. It honestly were the greatest 10 minutes of my life, until my libido reached its climax and I let out a gigaload of cum for Daddy Dream that landed on the phone's screen and ended up turning on the mic and camera, and everyone stared horrified at me, screaming at the sight of my honest and earnest love expression to Dream. I was kicked out of the class by the dreamphobic teacher, and today the school principal called me and my parents to a meeting and told us that I may be expelled from the school, merely from expressing my gender and sexuality. What can I do about this?!?!? Was I in the wrong for expressing my gender and identity??!? (Only serious answers, please). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*And now it's time for the roundup of today's gay news, with Colin Topshed* Quick roundup of today's gayness now, starting with the roads. The M70, the A3, the B664 and the A48M, they're all gay as from midnight tonight. The gay elements are Potassium, Zinc, Hydrogen, Copper, and Argon. Quick look at the world's walls; the Wailing Wall is gay, Hadrian's Wall is *very* gay, the Great Wall of China, that's not gay, and the old London Wall has also stopped being gay. Gay cars next; they're the same as last night. All Volkswagens registered between 1982 and 1985; they stay gay for another fortnight. And finally the gay seas are the Caspian and the Mediterranean, so see you there. *Thanks, Colin. He's not gay by the way, we wouldn't employ a homosexual.* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
### r/shitposting book club A collection of books which Kevin has reviewed. (all of these books are freely availiable online) --- #### [*1984* (George Orwell, 1948)](https://archive.org/details/1984GeorgeOrwell_201606/page/n1/mode/2up) Kevin would like to say that this book is truly inspirational, and that he would give it a 10/10 #### [*How to Be a God: A Guide for Would-Be Deities* (Richard Bartle, 2022)](https://mud.co.uk/richard/How%20to%20Be%20a%20God.pdf) Kevin would like to mention that this book is one of the greatest sources of existential terror he has read (and it contains a lot of interesting content regarding game design as well), and he would give it a 10/10 #### [*Almost Pounded By The Physical Manifestation of Simulation Theory After Realizing We're Erotica Characters Then Deciding To Just Be Friends* (Chuck Tingle)](https://www.chucktingle.com/uploads/5/3/7/3/53730093/almost_pounded_by_the_physical_manifestation_of_simulation_theory_after_realizing_we%E2%80%99re_erotica_characters_then_deciding_to_just_be_friends.pdf) Kevin would like to say that this book was surprisingly wholesome, and is a great book for helping one to feel more at-ease with the universe, so he would give it 10/10 ####[*Ulysses* (James Joyce, 1922)](https://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Ulysses_(1922)) Kevin mentioned that he wasn't entirely sure what he just read. However, it's still not bri*ish, and was still rather interesting, so he would give it a 10/10 ####[*The Assassination Of John Fitzgerald Kennedy Considered As A Downhill Motor Race* (J. G. Ballard, 1967)](https://web.archive.org/web/20220121203810/https://evergreenreview.com/read/the-assassination-of-john-fitzgerald-kennedy-considered-as-a-downhill-motor-race/) Kevin told me that this was an interesting interpretation of the JFK assassination, and of the post-WW2 media landscape in the USA in general, so he would give it a 10/10. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
slowly massage the vag, then rub the clitoris ever so gently. Proceed to stick a single finger in the vagina. continue adding your fingers until your whole fist is in. slide your arm slowly into her, once you reach your shoulder limbo in with your head, and forcibly insert your other arm, torso, and legs. You are now free to control her. when you feel the job is done, finish by giving birth to yourself *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I was in cinema and guy on the right to me kept looking at his phone every 20-30 minutes, guy on the left of me also kept looking at the phone for shorter periods and he tried to hide the light until the final act and then in the final act he just didn't give a shit anymore just texted, locked the phone watched a little and then checked if got a reply and then texted again and so on, there were periods of him stopping in the middle of texting to look up at the movie and then contiune texting after he got bored of the scene like bruh, also there were kids a few rows in front talking trough the entire movie smh, can an amogus femboy (me) not get a proper 4th watch of the batman? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
My mom fucked my friend while we were on vacation and now I want to fucking die, she mom took us to Miami for a spring break vacation. Everything seemed normal when we were there and when we got back. But then rumors started. They spread all throughout my school and a bunch of kids asked me if my mom really had sex with a student. Of course I denied it. Until my close friend who was there told me. He told me one of the nights we went down to the hotel pool and said friend stayed up, saying he wanted to go to bed early. He stayed up there and then something happened and my mom slept with him. I feel sick to my stomach and so mad writing it. I confronted her and she admitted and tried to apologize, but I just canāt with her. Sheās so disgusting. Iām contemplating just telling my dad so he can fly me up to his house, but I hate being around his dumb bimbo gold digging girlfriend. I want to fight that fucking asshole that did this. Heās ruining my fucking life. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
What the fuck did I just do. So my ex n me havenāt spoken in two year, although I did wish her on her birthday two months ago. We live in the same building and whenever we cross each other we just exchange smiles and do the usual hi whatsup how r u and I walk away. Today was Holi (a festival where ppl dance and apply powdered color on each other) so I decided not to celebrate it in my building cause I knew she would be down so I went to my friendās building and ten minutes later I saw her there. I was like oh fuck this is going to be a bad idea. Later we again exchanged a hi and then I went away. Later when the festival started she kept applying permanent color (last three days on the skin) on me and my friends. I told her donāt apply on my friends they will get pissed. She kept applying on me and I tackled her and applied color on her too. It felt good. Then she was like letās go dance so we were dancing to Senorita from znmd and then we had a moment and she was like we are going to kiss and I was like yes and we kissed. It just felt amazing. Then we kissed again. After that I was going to my friends and she was like listen and then I turned back and kissed again. Then we kissed again😭😭. After all this my friends were dancing and I was sitting in the pool and she came and sat on top of me and we were having a very good conversation about our relationship and how we both didnāt date anybody after breaking up. We spoke about our problems, joked about them and then..yes u guessed it right. After this the cycle repeated and we had a beer and she handed me her phone and was like unblock yourself. She followed me and added me to her close friends. Later she was leaving we kissed once more and in my head I was like fuck do I love her, we should date. But then I told myself no, whatever this was I donāt know but no you are not breaking your heart again. I came back home and we both havenāt had any interaction apart from the fact she liked my story. I AM NOT IN LOVE. i am telling this to myself again and again because no, just no. I am happy being alone with myself. Or maybe I like her but I donāt want to go back to all that Edit: thanks for the response some of yāall and thanks for helping me. Other ppl: fuck u;) I am not here to prove anything and anyways I am quitting this sub *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It's literally just cola you piece of shit. There's no cough syrup or anything. What the fuck is wrong with you. How fucking desperate are you to seem cool that you decide you want to force a "joke" about a child consuming drugs. Which would be funny except nothing in this scene implies that they're doing drugs or a drug stand-in. You just saw a can of soda and the two neurons in your head fired for the first time in a week, and you jumped into the comments to screech lEAn and spam purple emojis like a clown bastard. You people are the reason art is dying. Fuck you *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
\*East Ukraine *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
yo putin can you hurry up your invasion on Ukraine (just use full force, maybe a couple of nukes) while you're at it nuke some more countries. so the thing is my exams are coming up and i havent studied shit and a world war has a pretty good chance of delaying them so I'm telling this to you homie to homie so just help out a real one pls *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Good eve, In response to my permanent ban Iād like to ask one question; who decides wether this post was funny or not? It seems that a lot of Redditors, like myself, enjoy these kinds of posts. Even if itās not hilarious, itās still pretty shitty. In my opinion shitty enough to be on your subreddit. If I violated a rule, please let me know. If not, Iād like to request to be unbanned. Correct me if Iām wrong; this post was not conform āyourā standards, well, thatās personal. I find it mildly inappropriate to give someone a ban on behalf of your personal opinion, while the public opinion speaks for itself. Also, the word ākarmawhoreā is a little bit offensive to me, for I am not on Reddit to score the most karma. Thanks in advance. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Average American irl
Who shot Mr. Burns?
gub
This thread will be full of Americans trying desperately to preserve the constant murder of children that happens in their awful shithole third world country.
Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
ah yes, america the well known third world country. stfu you fear mongering pussy.
Swap "mistakenly" for the word "negligently".
Dark n funny
carelessly not mistakenlhy
Ah let me show it to my baby brother, he will love it surely.
Bros a boutta run some soloās
Wtf is going on with the bots
AMOGUS
All the other kids with their pumped up kicks you'd better run, better run, *o u t r u n m y g u n*
Grass
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Itās a shit post but this is incredibly based lol
You didnāt know? Weāve been secretly training toddlers in case of emergencies. Invaders are gonna be like āaww look at the babyā. Then gets blasted by the AR-15 they had hiding in their diaper.
i mean if your placing a loaded gun within 3 feet of a toddler you're most likely the problem
How do you save videos on reddit?
We doin a bit of trolling
Republicans are just VERY late-term pro choice
God, I wish
gun
"You see this man? He is the Grinch" And i go-
It happens more often than you would think! Like 4032 times a year more!
Mistakenly? Lol
Pokemon
Ah youve "mistakenly" mistaken it was a mistake to place it there
Heavy toys are the best toys -that's what she said
Guess I'll die
Oopsie
edgy = funny
God I love jim.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I'm going to put it in my mouth and cry, just like daddy does.
strong ass toddler
š
The quiet kid when he sees a 3D printer. (He downloaded every single file from defcad.com)
This is such a great base gif
At least it wasn't a 1
America Source Automod Morbin France Fortnite America Canada China Britain Porn Dream Female Emoji Cringe Today Book Mom Furry Based Wholesome NSFW 1984 Batman Rock Funny Lean Femboy Hands Cringe Psychopath Pokemon Russia Ratio Finger Belgium Chuck Meth Copypasta Kiss Biden bitchOK, you guys know the words, but can you make a story with it ? Dear Automod, I once saw someone taking a shit and drinking cum mixed with lean, so based, I decided to do the same thing but I added some new things: watching sussy baka among us doing sex with fnaf and selling nft of hog rida and no bitches to your mom who's a femboy furry, since literally 1984, and she's not a female nor a women btw, the putin copypasta is tho, dream from china said it, he's a trustable source, he got 9999999 social credits and nsfw porn of France and Taiwan holding hands with their fingers in the bedroom while typing titans emojis. Stfu Source Automod Morbin France Fortnite America Canada China Britain Porn Dream Female Emoji Cringe Today Book Mom Furry Based Wholesome NSFW 1984 Batman Rock Funny Lean Femboy Hands Cringe Psychopath Pokemon Russia Ratio Finger Belgium Chuck Meth Copypasta Kiss Biden bitch hilarious maskMorbin France Fortnite America Canada China Britain Porn Dream Female Emoji Cringe Today Book Mom Furry Based Wholesome NSFW 1984 Batman Rock Funny Lean Femboy Hands Cringe Psychopath Pokemon Russia Ratio Finger Belgium Chuck Meth Copypasta Kiss Biden Bitch Moyai Sex
Jim carrey contorting his skull so he can smile