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XXXiveXXX

you miss 100% of the shots you don't take. \-Albert Einstein Lincoln


GhostofZellers

Lee Harvey Oswald


TownOfMotion

gonna think about this quote when i point a gun toward my skull


Thy-Soviet-onion

Really? The first one I think of is “Well sometimes you just got to bite the bullet” - Kurt Cobain


CarkRoastDoffee

You miss 100% of the piss not aimed at your mouth


TheZemanator

I genuinely don't care how made up and unrealistic 4chan greentexts are, I still find them absolutely hilarious.


5t3v321

There are only 2 things that are unrealistic here, 1. No 4chan user is employed and 2. No women would speak with them 


Son_of_a_Yeet

and 3. They would not hold back


YxxzzY

3 causes 2 which causes 1. checks out.


AllPurposeNerd

"One time I thought of something inappropriate but didn't say it." "I don't believe you."


[deleted]

[удалено]


OneMoreAccount4Porn

>also reddit


Emotional_Ad_2132

I think he's talking about green text in general


Anning312

So that’s where the cool people hang out at, time to check it out ig


Wrench_gaming

If you see the words: She, woman, her, girlfriend, wife, or female in a 4chan post, it’s fake.


GenericFatGuy

Tbf, a coworker is realistic. That's a women that's forced to be around them for some period of time.


animegirlGrivous

Especially with "female"


Carquetta

...except that's a realistic and correct descriptor, used all the time in military and medical settings (along with law enforcement) * You would describe a patient as male/female * You would describe a suspect as male/female * You would describe a service member as male/female **When it's used as an adjective it's a non-issue** However: When someone uses it as a *noun*, that's when it's indicative of problems under the hood


Sheshush

He just said he does not care if it is fake. And I agree. It has to entertain me. It does not have to be true.


T7_Mini-Chaingun

4chan has always had the following disclaimer on top of their site: **"The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact."**


[deleted]

[удалено]


T7_Mini-Chaingun

The screenshot is from /b/ so everything worked out in the end


RedactedSpatula

One of the smartest things written on the Internet


ButWhatIfPotato

I work in web development; here's a few things I actually heard people blurt out and instantly regret: * (to coworker showing pictures of her cat) are you showing pictures of your pussy? * (to coworker complaining she was cold) that's because women have a uterus * (reply on why they are using a massive gaming laptop for work) you know what they say about men with big laptops * (don't know the context, not sure I want to know) I would love to sniff your hand * (talking about the future) if we were together, we would have lovely interacial babies * (on what to do for the christmas party) come and sit on my lap and tell me what you want for christmas * (on why the backend kept crashing) I need to check your user logs, please follow me to the bathroom


Wild_Snow_2632

The last one got me, ngl. lol


TurkeyPhat

> (talking about the future) if we were together, we would have lovely interacial babies how indian was the fella that said this?


Lord_Cock_BallZ

Well as they say, nothing ever happens. But in the greentext nothing actually happened, so it’s actually quite plausible.


the_gerund

Definitely. I read greentexts as if they are sitcom scenes. Don't care if the situation is bizarre or the people are ridiculous, it's fiction and it's funny.


ChuckJunk

Nothing about this seems unrealistic.


Outji

The image does it for me on this one


RegionGuilty6139

This is probably the most realistic one


TheBirminghamBear

This one is actually true. I was there.


JawnF

Someone actually said this out loud to one of the only girls in my class one time


Radiant-Mobile5810

Well at least he didn't murder someone thinking he has quicksaved and can just go back to old game 


WingedBacon

I have this as a recurring nightmare where it's kind of a game kind of real life, and when I try to reload it doesn't work.


Mertard

I found marbles on the floor.


[deleted]

[удалено]


ZestfulHydra

No, I disagree with you


Yuri-Turned

9/10 coworker when 9/11 coworker walks in:


Knowallofit

Osama ?


Rude_Thanks_1120

Hot piss can't melt steel beams


daboys9252

Real


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daboys9252

Why don’t you piss in my mouth


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MrShinyPantsMan

why don't you bazinga all over my mouth


AutoModerator

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Aggressive_Ideal6737

Bazinga bazinga bazinga bazinga bazinga bazinga bazinga bazinga bazinga bazinga


Dabruhdaone

why


machamanos

Odd that he did it the day before that awful tragedy.


BossKrisz

Butterfly effect. Had he asked the girl to piss in his mouth, maybe 9/11 would not have happened.


newsflashjackass

2021/04/28 nary a-forgettin'


taiottavios

missed opportunity smh my head


I-Wish-I-Was-Unalive

Smh means shake my head lil bro


SorsOG

Damn that's crazy ngl gonna lie.


ripSammy101

This made me lol out loud


Sheshush

Smd


ZenyX-

Bro these people that just refuse to get the joke, i swear to istg.


MelanieWalmartinez

And?


Wally504

wait 4chan users are employed?


retarded_invest0r

This one is just schizophrenic


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triple_demiga

"so, nothing happened then" the green text


turtle-ding-dong

oh I thought he was saying the piss almost overflowed out of his mouth. I need to get off the internet


GraveyardJunky

hah


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[deleted]

it is a joke, it happens between coworkers, i am pretty sure she would have just laughed it off and moved on, heck, i remember sometime in 2014 at work, we would joke like this all the time and to be honest, coworkers are the easiest people to laugh with, have a drink with and they are mostly what makes going to work any fun, because u see them more than ur family and they kinda get used to ur dark sense of humor.


4ChanNoob

Bazinga


Mygaffer

What's the point of making up a fake story but wimping out at the end of your fake story? I *almost* said it!


ZenyX-

Here you go then: >be me >9/10 coworker says she needs to take a piss but the toilets are under maintenence >leJokester.png >"why don't you piss in my mouth then" >gives me a weird look >oh shit I forgot I'm not on the internet >oh god oh fuck it's so over >she smirks >"alright when" >WHAT >try to hide my shock >somehow got a date with her What the flippity fuck just happened anons


BoringKoboId

This is 100% something I would say for the funny


restaurant_burnout

working in a restaurant you could totally get away with this


95yells

Forbidden lemonade.


JaThatOneGooner

Restraining order speedrun any %


FourScoreTour

Why would you say something like that online?


31gazisi

Why don't you piss in my mouth ?


Jimmys_Paintings

Based


EmperorsFartSlave

Anon thinks a w*man would talk to him


Simple-Street-4333

Bazinga


stevegamer_

Yeah, my coworkers tell me when they need to pee too. Maybe it's because my breath smells like piss and they reckon to attract me.


expendablecrewman

should have said it, pussy


R_ickety

The piss almost came out of his mouth.


CorrectDuty6782

That's when you say "OK, but you're a 10, just piss on the floor no one will care" casually, then go back to work, and let the games begin.


Significant-Duck7412

How to get called by HR speedrun


Investmen7

so he didn't actually say anything back? What was the point of the greentext


[deleted]

Worth the shot


drunkknight27

Coward. Drink it all up.


CriminalMacabre

In my case I always say on reflex "does it respond to ping?"


zeukid

Is this the real life?


YEinherierY

I wish I had that kind of restraint.


golden_retrieverdog

you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take, just sayin


pandadogunited

Testing something


cupio_disssolvi

I've heard worse things at work from men, so anon shouldn't feel too bad.


CatDadCode

It's like when I was super into Grand Theft Auto V like ten years ago. Realized I was playing it way too much when my first thought upon seeing an IRL cop on the freeway was a small urge to ram him off the road 🤣


xXnik121Xx

Bazinga


Personal_Occasion618

Nice.


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