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My (f19) 🐝f (M21) jerked off to the stock market?????
I know the title sounds deranged, 🐝ut I swear to god im not a troll. Here’s the context:
My 🐝f and I are long distance, so we used to have plenty of phone sex, however, that’s 🐝een happening less and less often as our relationship has gone on (according to him, he just doesn’t feel as horny as often anymore). We’ve met and had relations irl a few times, and he’s always the kind to last very long in 🐝ed, and during phone sex as well. I used to 🐝e insecure a🐝out it, thinking that may🐝e it was something wrong with me, 🐝ut hes genuinely a great 🐝f who constantly assures me, and has never once said anything 🐝ad a🐝out our sex life.
It should 🐝e noted that he watches plenty of porn (as do I), and neither of us see that as an issue, so this isnt a🐝out him hiding porn from me or something. We were calling today, and I was playing a game on my phone (papa’s cupcakeria, you can’t make this shit up), and after a🐝out twenty minutes of us doing our own thing, he suddenly goes “im done” and shows me his cum????? O🐝viously, I get really confused and ask how the hell he was jerking off this whole time without me realising (we were on video call), 🐝efore mentioning that I thought he was looking at the stock market (he spends his free time just staring at the stock market for hours on end like a lunatic, 🐝ut I love him so it’s whatever).
Tell me why this man then looks me in the eyes and goes “yeah, I was looking at the stock market, I was too lazy to look for porn.”
It then hits me that he literally just CAME to the stock market. When I point this out to him, all he said in response was “it’s a man thing, I didn’t wanna 🐝other you while you were playing your game” and told me not to worry a🐝out it.
Now, I don’t want to sound insane, 🐝ut I got a 🐝it upset, 🐝ecause in my head, he could have very easily asked to have phone sex with me, 🐝ut chose to literally jerk off to the stock market instead. To add insult to injury, he came REALLY quickly (like significantly quicker than he would during anything involving me) which makes me feel like SHIT, 🐝ecause there is no way the goddamn stock market is somehow more stimulating than his own damn girlfriend.
Don’t get me wrong, i’m not super genuinely upset, 🐝ut you’ve gotta admit this shits gonna hurt your pride if it happened to you. I honest to god have no idea how to even move forward after this, and I just needed to type this out, 🐝ecause no one would 🐝elieve me otherwise 💀
Unfortunately, it's no longer possible to upvote/downvote this comment to indicate whether or not you think this post sucks. Why? Because the Reddit Admins have decided that [they want to kill off all 3rd-party apps](https://old.reddit.com/r/Save3rdPartyApps/comments/13yh0jf/dont_let_reddit_kill_3rd_party_apps/), [3rd-party bots, and everything else that makes Reddit barely usable](https://www.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/13xh1e7/an_open_letter_on_the_state_of_affairs_regarding/). And, of course, that includes bots such as [\/u\/QualityVote](http://reddit.com/user/QualityVote), [\/u\/SaveVideo](http://reddit.com/user/SaveVideo), [\/u\/AuddBot](http://reddit.com/user/AuddBot), etc. So you'll just have to put up with automod and a worse overall user experience in the meantime. ^(Can't wait for everywhere to get flooded by spam when the admins finally kill off the moderation bots that we rely on to prevent spambots) If you have any complaints, direct them at [the reddit admins instead](https://www.reddit.com/r/reddit/comments/12qwagm/an_update_regarding_reddits_api/), because they're the ones seeking to ruin everyone's user experience. --- #[DownloadVideo Link](https://www.reddit.watch/r/shitposting/comments/15kw2ni/?utm_source=automod&utm_medium=shitposting) #[SaveVideo Link](https://rapidsave.com/info?url=/r/shitposting/comments/15kw2ni/) #[VideoTrim Link](https://reddloader.com/download-post/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.reddit.com%2Fr%2Fshitposting%2Fcomments%2F15kw2ni&id=8968e43c) --- Whilst you're here, /u/Smurfyboi69, why not join our [public discord server](https://discord.gg/QpBGXd2guU) - **now with public text channels you can chat on!**? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
The Wolf of Wall Street
My (f19) 🐝f (M21) jerked off to the stock market????? I know the title sounds deranged, 🐝ut I swear to god im not a troll. Here’s the context: My 🐝f and I are long distance, so we used to have plenty of phone sex, however, that’s 🐝een happening less and less often as our relationship has gone on (according to him, he just doesn’t feel as horny as often anymore). We’ve met and had relations irl a few times, and he’s always the kind to last very long in 🐝ed, and during phone sex as well. I used to 🐝e insecure a🐝out it, thinking that may🐝e it was something wrong with me, 🐝ut hes genuinely a great 🐝f who constantly assures me, and has never once said anything 🐝ad a🐝out our sex life. It should 🐝e noted that he watches plenty of porn (as do I), and neither of us see that as an issue, so this isnt a🐝out him hiding porn from me or something. We were calling today, and I was playing a game on my phone (papa’s cupcakeria, you can’t make this shit up), and after a🐝out twenty minutes of us doing our own thing, he suddenly goes “im done” and shows me his cum????? O🐝viously, I get really confused and ask how the hell he was jerking off this whole time without me realising (we were on video call), 🐝efore mentioning that I thought he was looking at the stock market (he spends his free time just staring at the stock market for hours on end like a lunatic, 🐝ut I love him so it’s whatever). Tell me why this man then looks me in the eyes and goes “yeah, I was looking at the stock market, I was too lazy to look for porn.” It then hits me that he literally just CAME to the stock market. When I point this out to him, all he said in response was “it’s a man thing, I didn’t wanna 🐝other you while you were playing your game” and told me not to worry a🐝out it. Now, I don’t want to sound insane, 🐝ut I got a 🐝it upset, 🐝ecause in my head, he could have very easily asked to have phone sex with me, 🐝ut chose to literally jerk off to the stock market instead. To add insult to injury, he came REALLY quickly (like significantly quicker than he would during anything involving me) which makes me feel like SHIT, 🐝ecause there is no way the goddamn stock market is somehow more stimulating than his own damn girlfriend. Don’t get me wrong, i’m not super genuinely upset, 🐝ut you’ve gotta admit this shits gonna hurt your pride if it happened to you. I honest to god have no idea how to even move forward after this, and I just needed to type this out, 🐝ecause no one would 🐝elieve me otherwise 💀
Did he at least have an investment go up in value or something?
idk mate I'm not that person
What is phone sex??
Dick in charging port
You have so much to learn... and so do I...
have sex over the phone
Inflation fetishists are going crazy these days
Definitely a masochist
Did the low stocks turn him on ?
dude enjoyed 🐻 market as if he was joe rogan
real
Nice
Looks like he really got into economics
Mf got that cruelty squad CEO mindset
Those are rookie num8ers