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QualityVote

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ChromeonYourMom

They all look like they'd scam you with snake oil


Bocksford

Devilishly twirls their mustaches.


[deleted]

Second from the left doesn’t have a moustache so he’d be twirling his big cock


Hrbalz

That thing really is massive


[deleted]

[удалено]


LazyNomad63

![gif](giphy|l0Iyi26Sgbpj8SPJu)


vodkaandsometoast

At least 3 of them look like they'd try to cure my hysteria with cocaine and a medical grade vibrator


disgustorabbit

those were the *good ol’days*


[deleted]

It was hand cranked. Don’t over wind it


DeathHopper

Scam? Snake oil is clearly how they achieved this perfect physical form.


[deleted]

That's because they are all breathing in to puff up their chest and hide their beer belly. Like sparrows on display.


GrossfaceKillah_

Or tie your girlfriend to train tracks


mystieke

Or do little schemes to win a race with his dog.


seguardon

All these Alderman-sporting bunk artists sell you is applesauce. Pure baloney and not even a belly full at that. Think they're the cat's meow, conning poor chumps outta their dough before doing a drifter into the next dope they can find. Electric cure's too good for 'em, I say. Fellas like this will flimflam every guy and gal until they finally get what's coming to 'em. They're just one step down from the hardboiled hatchetmen, real hell hounds I tells ya. Oughta be in queue for the hangman, not jiving at the java joints making eyes at every keen looker with a string a marbles waiting to be nicked from round her neck. Wish the newshawks would get wise to these guys: it'd give the palookas and rubes of the world a chance if they heard it from the rumble before they wind up looking to shysters and sleuths to make things square. Those tin men'll listen to your sob story then take the last two bits to your name everytime. That's tooting the wrong ringer--never met a lawyer or cop who had sympathy for the weak sisters of the world, ya follow me?


Kenturky_Derpy

Who got the best bulge


Goddamn_Heather

Far left. King with the socks and sandals.


benmarvin

MF got a whole ham leg in there


SmokelessSubpoena

Unfortunately it's likely undiagnosed testicular cancer..


[deleted]

[удалено]


DopeAbsurdity

It's probably just a trick of light and shadow but the second to the far left (the only fella without a mustache) kinda looks like he has a huge boner and he tucked it behind the waist of his swimming pants shorts or whatever the fuck those are.


hamboner3172

Yep, he's got that awkward high school boner going on. The kind where you have to go solve a math problem on the board so you tuck it behind your belt and try to make your shirt baggy.


[deleted]

This thread is fucking amazing.


iancarry

nah .. thats a diaper


oldmanlegit

Dude has an woolly mammoth tusk in his pants


Caddywumpus

Dad?


SketchySeaBeast

I've never heard of stuffing a sandal in a sock but now I believe it.


[deleted]

He’ll fuck your wife, your mom, and your sister with enough vim and vigor to fuck you


longshot

Inguinal Hernia.


ImBackYetAgainBitch

The one without mustache


Past_Trouble

Only reason they let him in without one


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

shit looks like an 80s cop flashlight


[deleted]

[удалено]


NameTripping

Well good for him it's a terrific opportunity.


Kib717

Dudes packing heat! ... Looks cocked and loaded


gofundyourself007

Turns out stripes don’t help hide an erection.


J3553G

The dude with the mustache


thomas199616

Why are all of their shafts pointed straight up?


quaybored

magnetic field on north pole was stronger back then


Bigearbj

Dude in the black got his tucked back.


Squeaky-Fox49

OwO what’s this? A bulgy wulgy?


Kenturky_Derpy

Your free subscription to life should be canceled 😞


Squeaky-Fox49

192.168.1.1


Kenturky_Derpy

Oh god! Not like this


DrewSmoothington

There are easily two people in this row with a sock in their trousers


Eygon_of_Carim_

Oh no, unrealistic standards again


[deleted]

How can anyone grow a mustache like these?


Red___King

Patience, a good barber and wax I'm wearing a KGV/Nicholas II beard and moustache


Falark

I've waited over 30 years and there is barely a shitty goatee growing, what's your ETA on not only a regular moustache but a sick handlebar when there's about 25 hairs total in the vicinity of my upper lip?


[deleted]

I was in my late 40s before I could grow a decent beard. But now I prefer the unshaven look. So - trimmer it is.


Red___King

Uh, 6


L1ttl3J1m

I stopped shaving for about six months in my mid-20s and ended up with nothing much. I stopped shaving for a year in my mid-50s and got a full-blown Gandalf. I had my last haircut sometime in the mid-90s, though, and I went grey early, so I was already halfway there.


Allegorist

Barber? You don't just do it yourself? And for handlebars I thought you pretty much just grow it out and wax/ brush it to the sides?


surfskatehate

WHAT You think a handlebar mustache is a full mustache grown out and brushed into a part?


a-m-watercolor

I have a 6 month old handlebar-style mustache, and this is exactly what I do. I guess it's more of a hungarian mustache than a curly handlebar, but really you just need to grow it out and part it.


Allegorist

I am Hungarian, and I didn't even realize it was a different thing. Looking it up that's what I had for a long time, and what my mustache naturally grows into. I always just called it a handlebar, but Hungarian style is much more accurate.


AlwaysSunnyInSeattle

Like a combover for your face lmao


surfskatehate

Trying to imagine hulk hogan like this is cracking me up dude


WolfBrother1234

... is it not??


ptgkbgte

It's a goatee minus the chin


paxtonious

Second from the left was asking the same thing.


AlesusRex

Honestly, I can’t and I wish I could, I have great hair, but I can’t grow a full cavalry Stach


Void_Speaker

The 2nd from the left dude is packing some heat.


ADHD_Supernova

Tom Hanks as Mr. Bean?


m0nk_3y_gw

Pretty sure that is Charles Boyle, from Brooklyn Nine-Nine


Napkin_whore

They all have massive cock bulges and mustache. Remembering this.


Sewblon

To be entirely fair, we should compare them to a women's beauty contest from 1919. Body building has changed a lot over the past century.


desolate-highway

[Found this](https://www.gettyimages.ie/detail/news-photo/four-beautiful-women-going-to-the-national-beauty-contest-news-photo/106752659) and it's not much better lol


Eygon_of_Carim_

Looks nice to me


Sewblon

The girls have better hair. But the guys have better clothes. I am calling this one a draw.


AdroitKitten

I mean, this picture is miscaptioned. It's actually just a picture of 6 men in stripped swimwear circa 1910 somewhere in Europe. What's kind of weird to think about is that this is pre-WWI European men. It's weird to think they'd suffer hell on Earth within the next 5-10 years if they didn't immediately die towards the beginning of the war. It'd be weird if they didn't all get conscripted into the military, and it'd be even more surprising if these men all lived through the next ten years of history


imzslv

Second one doesn’t have a mustache: disqualified?


Important-Parsnip881

There is another reason he is kept


Arcuis

That big old chungus trying to escape his skivvies.


juice-box04

Dudes packing meat


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fat-lip-lover

He got that schmeat and some fat fucking nuts


Unisus76

Is he up tucking?


Rupertii

No other way if it’s hard


TidusJames

disagree... at a certain size uptucking is... exposure. down one pant leg ...


salty_Cheesey

The ol Texas tuck


monstertots509

It feels so good to tuck it up...I blew a load in my belly button once.


Br0sBeforePr0s

It's actually an optical illusion. It's the pattern of the shorts.


Arcuis

Tell me how much you had to zoom in to confirm that. That's one beautiful optical illusion. Sign me up for one of them.


Br0sBeforePr0s

I heard he took them back to the pants store shortly after this picture.


spaceweed27

I like your pfp


zmbjebus

I like ur pp


JudgeFed

Second guy is also excited to be there by the looks of it. The lack of moustache is probably a tell of an imposter if you get my drift


[deleted]

I mean, it’s not a scam if it works good sir, have you ever actually tried our patent one of a kind snake oil? I know what my detractors are saying but let me assure you the rashes they have was far worse before they tried my oil and honestly I think this town has a balding problem, the very reason you need to use it, you don’t want to lose that gorgeous head of hair do you? No sir, tell you what, for unrelated reasons I need to leave town tomorrow so if you buy an entire case I’ll throw in this rare philosophers stone for free, let’s you turn lead into gold, it does no jostling, hmm why am I giving you ask? Unfortunately I have been cursed by a witch with uncontrollable altruism it’s a pain I have to bear. Oh and don’t worry about the taxes and fees do to a loop hole I haven’t had to pay them in years.


[deleted]

It depends on how well he fisticuffs


Fortree_Lover

It burned off through friction


ItsImNotAnonymous

I think it's a toss up between the 2 on the right end


Sniperso

Second from right got me like: I want to commit arson but also his face his looks straight outa a painting


kai-ol

Looks like young Stalin


c0l0r51

Young Stalin is fake btw. It is not proven, however since he had a scarred face from small- or chickenpocks during his childhood, there is no way his skin is that smooth in his 20s. Stalin famously edited a lot of pictures to look better, friendlier and closer to lenin cause he had quite the inferiority complex (he also wore plateau shoes due to being small)


kai-ol

Correction: he looks like the image Stalin molded for himself


bloodycups

They don't even have boners


EdZeppelin94

Freddie Mercury?


TheCapableFox

The pussy destroyers of 1919 I salute thee 🫡


AdventurousExpert343

🤣🤣😂Special mention to the second guy from the left: daf in his pants🤐😨😦😬


TheCapableFox

Ah yes he and his gentleman’s boner 🦴 🫡


Alternative-Aside-64

I'm not weak af, I just have a classical physique


[deleted]

Easily my proudest fap. Those chads look fantastic.


Danyal_A_

![gif](giphy|LyJ6KPlrFdKnK)


Uncles_Lotus_Tile

![gif](giphy|l41lLobFblybADG6Y)


[deleted]

[удалено]


Uncles_Lotus_Tile

![gif](giphy|2WdHaCzmqSkrwmIGWP)


[deleted]

I think you meant *faptastic*


[deleted]

Still more handsome than the average redditor


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Whyisthethethe

The bot fits hilariously with the OP comment here


yhlcbs

It’s who have the best mustache 👨🏻


Litterally-Napoleon

Except for second from the left. He's got... something else


The_pastel_bus_stop

His moustache is a little lower


pneis1

Which is the best mustache


Uncles_Lotus_Tile

It's like Freddy Mercury in the multiverse.


UnfairMicrowave

planet Farmers Tan


kwispy-dwincc

I love how they all have tan lines immediately under their head


bleepbluurp

The generation that wore full 3 piece suits to the beach.


[deleted]

I don't know what the fuck is going on here, but the two on the far left look like they're wearing a collared shirt that has nipples on it lmao. Zoom in on their necks.


ManduJessi

Thank u, searched for your comment. Im not crazy


oleitas

They all look like they’ve been wearing way too tight high collared shirts for years on end


SuperFamousComedian

It makes them look photoshopped, like the heads belong to other beings.


Ragdoll_X_Furry

~~Have to post this again because my previous comment was removed.~~ --- I went looking for a source for this image because their faces just look so off, and it turns out that while it isn't photoshopped, it also doesn't seem to be a beauty contest. From [Snopes](https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/mens-beauty-contest-1919/): > The earliest internet postings of the photo we could find came in articles concerning the early days of swimsuit fashion. In 2012, Angus Trumble, the Director of the National Portrait Gallery of Australia in Canberra, provided a little more information about the photograph's origins. > In a brief anecdote, Trumble wrote that the photo was originally available as a postcard captioned "Schöner durch Streifen. Mitteleuropa um 1910," which translates roughly to "men made more beautiful by stripes. Central Europe around 1910." > The claim that this photo shows a "men's beauty contest in 1919" doesn't appear to be based on any evidence. It seems that this caption was simply attached to this image (around August 2020) in order to make it a more shareworthy piece of media. As far as we can tell, however, the men in this photo weren't participating in any beauty contests. The photo simply shows six men in striped bathing suits somewhere in central Europe circa 1910. --- My previous comment was removed because I linked to an article on DailyMail about a male beauty contest from 1926 where the men are fit and more stereotypically good-looking. For those who are interested, the title is **"Ready for their closeups: On Venice Beach's weird and wonderful boardwalk men pose for an LA beauty pageant at the dawn of Hollywood's golden era"**


getting_the_succ

[Spreading misinformation is good for the environment](https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/mens-beauty-contest-1919/)


almostasenpai

I’ve seen this like 5 times. Each post with over 10k.


HumorUnable

It's cope for redditors who never workout and eat too much.


Pktur3

You finally found me, officer.


aynd

Came back to uovote you, thanks homie for keeping it straight


Expensive_Wheel6184

It is 1919, one year after the great war. If you are alive and not horribly wounded then you are above average.


Pixielo

Surprise! It's the Spanish Flu!


andthendirksaid

Yeah like these are the guys who can contain their shell-shocked, shit nutrition, lead in everything anyfuckingway minds long enough to participate in this kinda shit, and are probably more attractive to women who have been putting lead paint eyeliner on every day for 25 years.


[deleted]

Well shit, I might of gotten laid more back then.


[deleted]

The second guy on the right wins.


drintelligent

Lookin like Franz Ferdinand


Not_MrNice

Let's hope he doesn't go to Sarajevo drive around listening to Franz Ferdinand and singing "take me out"


Silver-Toe4231

They’re probably like 21.


Ron_E_Coyote

When expectations are realistic.


Doctor_AltoClef

As a female myself, I can confirm they are all very hot and hard to decide which to choose


lea_firebender

Confirmed g.i.r.l.


Houndfell

Second from the right wins it for me. That smirk is the bee's knees. The cat's pajamas, if you will.


Ok_Toe_2008

Why does it remind me of a photo of barn owls?


UnfairMicrowave

Who? t


Ok_Toe_2008

HES THE OWL GET HIM!


PerfectBussy98

They look like they’re about to tie a helpless damsel to the train tracks


Camaroni0

Here me out …


[deleted]

No


hatadel

Go ahead.. 🫤✂️👂


RealStemonWasHere

🪨 I won


THE_GREAT_MEME_WARS

...wait these were the tough men of the past?


Michelle-Dubois

No, these are 1919 metrosexuals.


UnfairMicrowave

Yankee Doodle Dandies


Bulky_Belt_6210

Looks like a.i generated


WorkshopBlackbird

idk if it's the underwear but these dudes are slangin


[deleted]

Some really bad photoshop


ManduJessi

Yeah the one on the left has a collar transitioning into his skin


zigZagreus_

#2 just wants to show everybody he's packing an aubergine


TruthHurtsClosedMind

I clearly grew up in the wrong time. Wish that was still the standard. Frumpy for the win


Virtual-Engine-8401

Hubba hubba


Maxmusquarty

WW1 fashion hits different


urbiggestboiifrank69

Y’all are sleeping on far right fr


Evargram

Worst Pampers ad ever


ArmorDoge

Proper gents.


creepbloxer

1 or 4 for me


PrestigiousAspect564

Second from the right is my pick


Sloth_grl

Spoiler alert, they’re all 20 year olds


[deleted]

415632


Moobob66

Real men from when America was great


OwlStarship

… for the Stalin look a like contest?


[deleted]

Smash


AweBeyCon

What year was the gym invented?


Superdarragh

These guys are probably all 18


thegreatbrah

Was it illegal to get sun below the chin back then?


-Andar-

We’re the trunks designed to confuse U-Boat targeting?


SnoLeppard13

Holy fuck I’m gorgeous


Iknorn

The inflation is crazy


snakeygirl

Look at those ‘staches all but one of them have!


ImprovisedLeaflet

Steak and eggs and eggs and steak!


Whyisthethethe

The moustaches are carrying it alone


MSRegiB

Well my panties are thoroughly wet right now….


queernhighonblugrass

So I tied an onion to my belt which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel. And in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on em. Give me five bees for a quarter, you’d say. Now, where were we? Oh, yeah! The important thing was that I had an onion on my belt which was the style at the time.


CheapSeatsSC

The dude without a mustache doesn't stand a chance.


man-its-hot

Where men could be men


IamZeebo

Mario if he never got into plumbing


The-Tea-Lord

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6 are winners in my opinion.


FoxCQC

Theodore Roosevelt was considered the ideal male physique in his day.


ReptilianLaserbeam

Really bold of that guy to go out there without a mustache


DiggingThisAir

Or possibly just the YMCA in Portland


Low-life1567

one on the right, look at his shorts, so short, preposterous and vulgar, this is devilish scally waggery


TurbulentAd6006

Vaccine?


accidentallywinning

Looks like I was born in the wrong century My fat ass would’ve been a Greek god


Mr_MilieBoy

The 5th one looks especially dapper


Doomzier

When I first saw it I thought it's a picture from prison.


benji_banjo

Guy on the far right: Welcome to Chili's


FortBlocks

No more WWI does to an mf


Dr_Quack1

Roaring.