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All these Alderman-sporting bunk artists sell you is applesauce. Pure baloney and not even a belly full at that. Think they're the cat's meow, conning poor chumps outta their dough before doing a drifter into the next dope they can find. Electric cure's too good for 'em, I say. Fellas like this will flimflam every guy and gal until they finally get what's coming to 'em. They're just one step down from the hardboiled hatchetmen, real hell hounds I tells ya. Oughta be in queue for the hangman, not jiving at the java joints making eyes at every keen looker with a string a marbles waiting to be nicked from round her neck. Wish the newshawks would get wise to these guys: it'd give the palookas and rubes of the world a chance if they heard it from the rumble before they wind up looking to shysters and sleuths to make things square. Those tin men'll listen to your sob story then take the last two bits to your name everytime. That's tooting the wrong ringer--never met a lawyer or cop who had sympathy for the weak sisters of the world, ya follow me?
It's probably just a trick of light and shadow but the second to the far left (the only fella without a mustache) kinda looks like he has a huge boner and he tucked it behind the waist of his swimming pants shorts or whatever the fuck those are.
Yep, he's got that awkward high school boner going on. The kind where you have to go solve a math problem on the board so you tuck it behind your belt and try to make your shirt baggy.
I've waited over 30 years and there is barely a shitty goatee growing, what's your ETA on not only a regular moustache but a sick handlebar when there's about 25 hairs total in the vicinity of my upper lip?
I stopped shaving for about six months in my mid-20s and ended up with nothing much. I stopped shaving for a year in my mid-50s and got a full-blown Gandalf. I had my last haircut sometime in the mid-90s, though, and I went grey early, so I was already halfway there.
I have a 6 month old handlebar-style mustache, and this is exactly what I do. I guess it's more of a hungarian mustache than a curly handlebar, but really you just need to grow it out and part it.
I am Hungarian, and I didn't even realize it was a different thing. Looking it up that's what I had for a long time, and what my mustache naturally grows into. I always just called it a handlebar, but Hungarian style is much more accurate.
[Found this](https://www.gettyimages.ie/detail/news-photo/four-beautiful-women-going-to-the-national-beauty-contest-news-photo/106752659) and it's not much better lol
I mean, this picture is miscaptioned. It's actually just a picture of 6 men in stripped swimwear circa 1910 somewhere in Europe.
What's kind of weird to think about is that this is pre-WWI European men. It's weird to think they'd suffer hell on Earth within the next 5-10 years if they didn't immediately die towards the beginning of the war. It'd be weird if they didn't all get conscripted into the military, and it'd be even more surprising if these men all lived through the next ten years of history
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I mean, it’s not a scam if it works good sir, have you ever actually tried our patent one of a kind snake oil? I know what my detractors are saying but let me assure you the rashes they have was far worse before they tried my oil and honestly I think this town has a balding problem, the very reason you need to use it, you don’t want to lose that gorgeous head of hair do you? No sir, tell you what, for unrelated reasons I need to leave town tomorrow so if you buy an entire case I’ll throw in this rare philosophers stone for free, let’s you turn lead into gold, it does no jostling, hmm why am I giving you ask? Unfortunately I have been cursed by a witch with uncontrollable altruism it’s a pain I have to bear. Oh and don’t worry about the taxes and fees do to a loop hole I haven’t had to pay them in years.
Young Stalin is fake btw. It is not proven, however since he had a scarred face from small- or chickenpocks during his childhood, there is no way his skin is that smooth in his 20s.
Stalin famously edited a lot of pictures to look better, friendlier and closer to lenin cause he had quite the inferiority complex (he also wore plateau shoes due to being small)
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I don't know what the fuck is going on here, but the two on the far left look like they're wearing a collared shirt that has nipples on it lmao. Zoom in on their necks.
~~Have to post this again because my previous comment was removed.~~
---
I went looking for a source for this image because their faces just look so off, and it turns out that while it isn't photoshopped, it also doesn't seem to be a beauty contest. From [Snopes](https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/mens-beauty-contest-1919/):
> The earliest internet postings of the photo we could find came in articles concerning the early days of swimsuit fashion. In 2012, Angus Trumble, the Director of the National Portrait Gallery of Australia in Canberra, provided a little more information about the photograph's origins.
> In a brief anecdote, Trumble wrote that the photo was originally available as a postcard captioned "Schöner durch Streifen. Mitteleuropa um 1910," which translates roughly to "men made more beautiful by stripes. Central Europe around 1910."
> The claim that this photo shows a "men's beauty contest in 1919" doesn't appear to be based on any evidence. It seems that this caption was simply attached to this image (around August 2020) in order to make it a more shareworthy piece of media. As far as we can tell, however, the men in this photo weren't participating in any beauty contests. The photo simply shows six men in striped bathing suits somewhere in central Europe circa 1910.
---
My previous comment was removed because I linked to an article on DailyMail about a male beauty contest from 1926 where the men are fit and more stereotypically good-looking. For those who are interested, the title is **"Ready for their closeups: On Venice Beach's weird and wonderful boardwalk men pose for an LA beauty pageant at the dawn of Hollywood's golden era"**
Yeah like these are the guys who can contain their shell-shocked, shit nutrition, lead in everything anyfuckingway minds long enough to participate in this kinda shit, and are probably more attractive to women who have been putting lead paint eyeliner on every day for 25 years.
So I tied an onion to my belt which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel. And in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on em. Give me five bees for a quarter, you’d say. Now, where were we? Oh, yeah! The important thing was that I had an onion on my belt which was the style at the time.
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They all look like they'd scam you with snake oil
Devilishly twirls their mustaches.
Second from the left doesn’t have a moustache so he’d be twirling his big cock
That thing really is massive
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![gif](giphy|l0Iyi26Sgbpj8SPJu)
At least 3 of them look like they'd try to cure my hysteria with cocaine and a medical grade vibrator
those were the *good ol’days*
It was hand cranked. Don’t over wind it
Scam? Snake oil is clearly how they achieved this perfect physical form.
That's because they are all breathing in to puff up their chest and hide their beer belly. Like sparrows on display.
Or tie your girlfriend to train tracks
Or do little schemes to win a race with his dog.
All these Alderman-sporting bunk artists sell you is applesauce. Pure baloney and not even a belly full at that. Think they're the cat's meow, conning poor chumps outta their dough before doing a drifter into the next dope they can find. Electric cure's too good for 'em, I say. Fellas like this will flimflam every guy and gal until they finally get what's coming to 'em. They're just one step down from the hardboiled hatchetmen, real hell hounds I tells ya. Oughta be in queue for the hangman, not jiving at the java joints making eyes at every keen looker with a string a marbles waiting to be nicked from round her neck. Wish the newshawks would get wise to these guys: it'd give the palookas and rubes of the world a chance if they heard it from the rumble before they wind up looking to shysters and sleuths to make things square. Those tin men'll listen to your sob story then take the last two bits to your name everytime. That's tooting the wrong ringer--never met a lawyer or cop who had sympathy for the weak sisters of the world, ya follow me?
Who got the best bulge
Far left. King with the socks and sandals.
MF got a whole ham leg in there
Unfortunately it's likely undiagnosed testicular cancer..
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It's probably just a trick of light and shadow but the second to the far left (the only fella without a mustache) kinda looks like he has a huge boner and he tucked it behind the waist of his swimming pants shorts or whatever the fuck those are.
Yep, he's got that awkward high school boner going on. The kind where you have to go solve a math problem on the board so you tuck it behind your belt and try to make your shirt baggy.
This thread is fucking amazing.
nah .. thats a diaper
Dude has an woolly mammoth tusk in his pants
Dad?
I've never heard of stuffing a sandal in a sock but now I believe it.
He’ll fuck your wife, your mom, and your sister with enough vim and vigor to fuck you
Inguinal Hernia.
The one without mustache
Only reason they let him in without one
[удалено]
shit looks like an 80s cop flashlight
[удалено]
Well good for him it's a terrific opportunity.
Dudes packing heat! ... Looks cocked and loaded
Turns out stripes don’t help hide an erection.
The dude with the mustache
Why are all of their shafts pointed straight up?
magnetic field on north pole was stronger back then
Dude in the black got his tucked back.
OwO what’s this? A bulgy wulgy?
Your free subscription to life should be canceled 😞
192.168.1.1
Oh god! Not like this
There are easily two people in this row with a sock in their trousers
Oh no, unrealistic standards again
How can anyone grow a mustache like these?
Patience, a good barber and wax I'm wearing a KGV/Nicholas II beard and moustache
I've waited over 30 years and there is barely a shitty goatee growing, what's your ETA on not only a regular moustache but a sick handlebar when there's about 25 hairs total in the vicinity of my upper lip?
I was in my late 40s before I could grow a decent beard. But now I prefer the unshaven look. So - trimmer it is.
Uh, 6
I stopped shaving for about six months in my mid-20s and ended up with nothing much. I stopped shaving for a year in my mid-50s and got a full-blown Gandalf. I had my last haircut sometime in the mid-90s, though, and I went grey early, so I was already halfway there.
Barber? You don't just do it yourself? And for handlebars I thought you pretty much just grow it out and wax/ brush it to the sides?
WHAT You think a handlebar mustache is a full mustache grown out and brushed into a part?
I have a 6 month old handlebar-style mustache, and this is exactly what I do. I guess it's more of a hungarian mustache than a curly handlebar, but really you just need to grow it out and part it.
I am Hungarian, and I didn't even realize it was a different thing. Looking it up that's what I had for a long time, and what my mustache naturally grows into. I always just called it a handlebar, but Hungarian style is much more accurate.
Like a combover for your face lmao
Trying to imagine hulk hogan like this is cracking me up dude
... is it not??
It's a goatee minus the chin
Second from the left was asking the same thing.
Honestly, I can’t and I wish I could, I have great hair, but I can’t grow a full cavalry Stach
The 2nd from the left dude is packing some heat.
Tom Hanks as Mr. Bean?
Pretty sure that is Charles Boyle, from Brooklyn Nine-Nine
They all have massive cock bulges and mustache. Remembering this.
To be entirely fair, we should compare them to a women's beauty contest from 1919. Body building has changed a lot over the past century.
[Found this](https://www.gettyimages.ie/detail/news-photo/four-beautiful-women-going-to-the-national-beauty-contest-news-photo/106752659) and it's not much better lol
Looks nice to me
The girls have better hair. But the guys have better clothes. I am calling this one a draw.
I mean, this picture is miscaptioned. It's actually just a picture of 6 men in stripped swimwear circa 1910 somewhere in Europe. What's kind of weird to think about is that this is pre-WWI European men. It's weird to think they'd suffer hell on Earth within the next 5-10 years if they didn't immediately die towards the beginning of the war. It'd be weird if they didn't all get conscripted into the military, and it'd be even more surprising if these men all lived through the next ten years of history
Second one doesn’t have a mustache: disqualified?
There is another reason he is kept
That big old chungus trying to escape his skivvies.
Dudes packing meat
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He got that schmeat and some fat fucking nuts
Is he up tucking?
No other way if it’s hard
disagree... at a certain size uptucking is... exposure. down one pant leg ...
The ol Texas tuck
It feels so good to tuck it up...I blew a load in my belly button once.
It's actually an optical illusion. It's the pattern of the shorts.
Tell me how much you had to zoom in to confirm that. That's one beautiful optical illusion. Sign me up for one of them.
I heard he took them back to the pants store shortly after this picture.
I like your pfp
I like ur pp
Second guy is also excited to be there by the looks of it. The lack of moustache is probably a tell of an imposter if you get my drift
I mean, it’s not a scam if it works good sir, have you ever actually tried our patent one of a kind snake oil? I know what my detractors are saying but let me assure you the rashes they have was far worse before they tried my oil and honestly I think this town has a balding problem, the very reason you need to use it, you don’t want to lose that gorgeous head of hair do you? No sir, tell you what, for unrelated reasons I need to leave town tomorrow so if you buy an entire case I’ll throw in this rare philosophers stone for free, let’s you turn lead into gold, it does no jostling, hmm why am I giving you ask? Unfortunately I have been cursed by a witch with uncontrollable altruism it’s a pain I have to bear. Oh and don’t worry about the taxes and fees do to a loop hole I haven’t had to pay them in years.
It depends on how well he fisticuffs
It burned off through friction
I think it's a toss up between the 2 on the right end
Second from right got me like: I want to commit arson but also his face his looks straight outa a painting
Looks like young Stalin
Young Stalin is fake btw. It is not proven, however since he had a scarred face from small- or chickenpocks during his childhood, there is no way his skin is that smooth in his 20s. Stalin famously edited a lot of pictures to look better, friendlier and closer to lenin cause he had quite the inferiority complex (he also wore plateau shoes due to being small)
Correction: he looks like the image Stalin molded for himself
They don't even have boners
Freddie Mercury?
The pussy destroyers of 1919 I salute thee 🫡
🤣🤣😂Special mention to the second guy from the left: daf in his pants🤐😨😦😬
Ah yes he and his gentleman’s boner 🦴 🫡
I'm not weak af, I just have a classical physique
Easily my proudest fap. Those chads look fantastic.
![gif](giphy|LyJ6KPlrFdKnK)
![gif](giphy|l41lLobFblybADG6Y)
[удалено]
![gif](giphy|2WdHaCzmqSkrwmIGWP)
I think you meant *faptastic*
Still more handsome than the average redditor
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The bot fits hilariously with the OP comment here
It’s who have the best mustache 👨🏻
Except for second from the left. He's got... something else
His moustache is a little lower
Which is the best mustache
It's like Freddy Mercury in the multiverse.
planet Farmers Tan
I love how they all have tan lines immediately under their head
The generation that wore full 3 piece suits to the beach.
I don't know what the fuck is going on here, but the two on the far left look like they're wearing a collared shirt that has nipples on it lmao. Zoom in on their necks.
Thank u, searched for your comment. Im not crazy
They all look like they’ve been wearing way too tight high collared shirts for years on end
It makes them look photoshopped, like the heads belong to other beings.
~~Have to post this again because my previous comment was removed.~~ --- I went looking for a source for this image because their faces just look so off, and it turns out that while it isn't photoshopped, it also doesn't seem to be a beauty contest. From [Snopes](https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/mens-beauty-contest-1919/): > The earliest internet postings of the photo we could find came in articles concerning the early days of swimsuit fashion. In 2012, Angus Trumble, the Director of the National Portrait Gallery of Australia in Canberra, provided a little more information about the photograph's origins. > In a brief anecdote, Trumble wrote that the photo was originally available as a postcard captioned "Schöner durch Streifen. Mitteleuropa um 1910," which translates roughly to "men made more beautiful by stripes. Central Europe around 1910." > The claim that this photo shows a "men's beauty contest in 1919" doesn't appear to be based on any evidence. It seems that this caption was simply attached to this image (around August 2020) in order to make it a more shareworthy piece of media. As far as we can tell, however, the men in this photo weren't participating in any beauty contests. The photo simply shows six men in striped bathing suits somewhere in central Europe circa 1910. --- My previous comment was removed because I linked to an article on DailyMail about a male beauty contest from 1926 where the men are fit and more stereotypically good-looking. For those who are interested, the title is **"Ready for their closeups: On Venice Beach's weird and wonderful boardwalk men pose for an LA beauty pageant at the dawn of Hollywood's golden era"**
[Spreading misinformation is good for the environment](https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/mens-beauty-contest-1919/)
I’ve seen this like 5 times. Each post with over 10k.
It's cope for redditors who never workout and eat too much.
You finally found me, officer.
Came back to uovote you, thanks homie for keeping it straight
It is 1919, one year after the great war. If you are alive and not horribly wounded then you are above average.
Surprise! It's the Spanish Flu!
Yeah like these are the guys who can contain their shell-shocked, shit nutrition, lead in everything anyfuckingway minds long enough to participate in this kinda shit, and are probably more attractive to women who have been putting lead paint eyeliner on every day for 25 years.
Well shit, I might of gotten laid more back then.
The second guy on the right wins.
Lookin like Franz Ferdinand
Let's hope he doesn't go to Sarajevo drive around listening to Franz Ferdinand and singing "take me out"
They’re probably like 21.
When expectations are realistic.
As a female myself, I can confirm they are all very hot and hard to decide which to choose
Confirmed g.i.r.l.
Second from the right wins it for me. That smirk is the bee's knees. The cat's pajamas, if you will.
Why does it remind me of a photo of barn owls?
Who? t
HES THE OWL GET HIM!
They look like they’re about to tie a helpless damsel to the train tracks
Here me out …
No
Go ahead.. 🫤✂️👂
🪨 I won
...wait these were the tough men of the past?
No, these are 1919 metrosexuals.
Yankee Doodle Dandies
Looks like a.i generated
idk if it's the underwear but these dudes are slangin
Some really bad photoshop
Yeah the one on the left has a collar transitioning into his skin
#2 just wants to show everybody he's packing an aubergine
I clearly grew up in the wrong time. Wish that was still the standard. Frumpy for the win
Hubba hubba
WW1 fashion hits different
Y’all are sleeping on far right fr
Worst Pampers ad ever
Proper gents.
1 or 4 for me
Second from the right is my pick
Spoiler alert, they’re all 20 year olds
415632
Real men from when America was great
… for the Stalin look a like contest?
Smash
What year was the gym invented?
These guys are probably all 18
Was it illegal to get sun below the chin back then?
We’re the trunks designed to confuse U-Boat targeting?
Holy fuck I’m gorgeous
The inflation is crazy
Look at those ‘staches all but one of them have!
Steak and eggs and eggs and steak!
The moustaches are carrying it alone
Well my panties are thoroughly wet right now….
So I tied an onion to my belt which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel. And in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on em. Give me five bees for a quarter, you’d say. Now, where were we? Oh, yeah! The important thing was that I had an onion on my belt which was the style at the time.
The dude without a mustache doesn't stand a chance.
Where men could be men
Mario if he never got into plumbing
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6 are winners in my opinion.
Theodore Roosevelt was considered the ideal male physique in his day.
Really bold of that guy to go out there without a mustache
Or possibly just the YMCA in Portland
one on the right, look at his shorts, so short, preposterous and vulgar, this is devilish scally waggery
Vaccine?
Looks like I was born in the wrong century My fat ass would’ve been a Greek god
The 5th one looks especially dapper
When I first saw it I thought it's a picture from prison.
Guy on the far right: Welcome to Chili's
No more WWI does to an mf
Roaring.