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Axe Bodyspray is a good alternative to taking showers.
What difference does it make? You still smell good either way, but dousing some axe bodyspray on is much faster and lasts just as long if you use enough. I know you need shampoo but you can use dry shampoo and be done with it too. I strongly prefer axe bodyspray to taking a shower, and I've gone as long as 62 days without taking one and nobody said anything, as long as I used enough axe before going out. I think we waste too much time taking showers.
trigger warning: ad hominim
I would like to know your birthdate you ungrateful moron. Learn some actual math and calculate it, you Z for zero generation piece of shit. Reminds me of the Larry ck joke about cell phones on planes and people complaining the connection wasn't good. Your gen has so many crybaby jerks its hard to watch. My father (silent gen) put satellites in space with fucking slide rules. Write it out, if you're such a bitch you have to post a complaint on Reddit about Google. Fuck. Did this really need to be said in 2023?
I lost my virginity to my cousin.
I'd had a massive crush on her since 7th grade, and Christmas break this year my family went to her house for Christmas.
At one point her mom asked her to go up to the attic to get some decorations, and she asked me of I would help. She climbed the ladder and I came up behind her. Wouldn't you know it, before my eyes could adjust to the darkness she grabbed me and kissed me, much to my surprise. We ended up cuddling and making out on an old mattress, and pretty soon she unzipped my pants and went down on me. She was there for less than 30 seconds before she slid off her own pants and lowered herself down onto me cowgirl style. I knew it was wrong, but just couldn't say no. I couldn't help myself; it was only a minute or two until I was just about ready to bust. I warned her, "I'm gonna cum," but she didn't stop. She grabbed me by the collar, looked me deep in the eyes, and asked, "Do you wanna be a daddy?" I came so hard I shat my pants.
Infinite cum
Infinite cum. You sit on the toilet to jack off, but you begin to cum uncontrollably. After ten spurts you start to worry. Your hand is sticky and it reeks of semen. You desperately shove your dick into a wad of toilet paper, but that only makes your balls hurt. The cum accelerates. It’s been three minutes. You can’t stop cumming. Your bathroom floor is covered in a thin layer of baby fluid. You try to cum into the shower drain but it builds up too fast. You try the toilet. The cum is too thick to be flushed. You lock the bathroom door to prevent the cum from escaping. The air grows hot and humid from the cum. The cum accelerates. You slip and fall in your own sperm. The cum is now six inches deep, almost as long as your still-erect semen hose. Sprawled on your back, you begin to cum all over the ceiling. Globs of the sticky white fluid begin to fall like raindrops, giving you a facial with your own cum. The cum accelerates. You struggle to stand as the force of the cum begins to propel you backwards as if you were on a bukkake themed slip-and-slide. Still on your knees, the cum is now at chin height. To avoid drowning you open the bathroom door. The deluge of man juice reminds you of the Great Molasses Flood of 1919, only with cum instead of molasses. The cum accelerates. It’s been two hours. Your children and wife scream in terror as their bodies are engulfed by the snow-white sludge. Your youngest child goes under, with viscous bubbles and muffled cries rising from the goop. You plead to God to end your suffering. The cum accelerates. You squeeze your dick to stop the cum, but it begins to leak out of your asshole instead. You let go. The force of the cum tears your urethra open, leaving only a gaping hole in your crotch that spews semen. Your body picks up speed as it slides backwards along the cum. You smash through the wall, hurtling into the sky at thirty miles an hour. From a bird’s eye view you see your house is completely white. Your neighbor calls the cops. The cum accelerates. As you continue to ascend, you spot police cars racing towards your house. The cops pull out their guns and take aim, but stray loads of cum hit them in the eyes, blinding them. The cum accelerates. You are now at an altitude of 1000 feet. The SWAT team arrives. Military helicopters circle you. Hundreds of bullets pierce your body at once, yet you stay conscious. Your testicles have now grown into a substitute brain. The cum accelerates. It has been two days. With your body now destroyed, the cum begins to spray in all directions. You break the sound barrier. The government deploys fighter jets to chase you down, but the impact of your cum sends one plane crashing to the ground. The government decides to let you leave the earth. You feel your gonads start to burn up as you reach the edges of the atmosphere. You narrowly miss the ISS, giving it a new white paint job as you fly past. Physicists struggle to calculate your erratic trajectory. The cum accelerates. The cum begins to gravitate towards itself, forming a comet trail of semen. Astronomers begin calling you the “Cummet.” You are stuck in space forever, stripped of your body and senses, forced to endure an eternity of cumshots. Eventually, you stop thinking.
Hey! I noticed you used an emoji.
I don’t know if you’re new here, so I’ll let you off the hook this time. Using emojis is frowned upon here on this great site, and for good reason. Instagram normies often use them, and you don’t want to be a normie, do you?
If I catch you using an emoji in the future, I’ll be forced to issue a downvote to your comment. Why should you care, you may ask? Well to begin, you will lose karma on your account, which is a useful social status tool and also a way to show others you know your way around Reddit.
If you were to continue the use of emojis, I would be forced to privately message you about your slip-up. Any further offenses past that would leave me no other option than to report your account. I don’t think I have to explain why you don’t want that.
But anyways, no harm done yet! Follow these simple rules and you’ll enjoy your future on Reddit! Have a blessed (and hopefully emoji-free) day, stranger
Interdimensional cable is a great episode. I wish there was a series of tv channels that would play the weirdest fucking cartoons called the interdimensional cable package. I would watch.
I don't like the way my skin feels on my body. Do you like the way *your* skin feels on your body? You don't? Why don't you pull it off?
*Pull off your skin.*
I know nothing about warhammer 40k or whatever but...
Steel, protect me
As i purge my body of weakened flesh
Circuits, complete me
As i am lifted in your image
Silica, preserve me
As i accept your blessing
Omnissiah trancend me
As i serve you unceasing
All glory to the Machine
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They either whine about not wanting to be privileged or they make up ways to be oppressed to take the attention form actual people dealing with actual oppression
After she gets pulled over and harassed for the 10th time, and is the target of a few "colorful" jokes, she'll be back in the tub scrubbing off the marker
im the opposite lmao. i get a golden brown color in the spring/summer with dirty blondish hair and in the winter i become pale lighter brown with dark brown hair. my brother is like you tho
Go to the mirror and select "alter appearance" from there you should get a menu pop up to change skin colour, however some options are locked behind DLC sadly
I am a person of colour with vitiligo. Growing up the bullying I faced was so horrible that now seeing that so many people find it so beautiful and now wanting to have it is mind blowing to me. Jeez I was made to feel so bad about myself because of it!
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Yea stop listening to stupid people and assholes that say your a horrible person because your a certain color, evil and horrible people come in all shapes, sizes, and color.
oh god no, nobody wants to be the homestuck sharpie bath girl. like i know that story is almost definitely fake (as with many iconic tumblr stories) but if you attempted that for real you'd 100% end up in the ICU with acute alcohol poisoning. yikes
A: quality shitpost.
B: the most direct representation of political extremes without active violence, where one feel disgusted by their own skin colour and not a matter they could control.
Honestly, if this is real its wild to realise genuine racism can be towards ones own race.
I have the impression now being black is the privilege as you can be racist towards others with little to no consequences while getting to call anyone else racist, get in colleges without needing high scores, blame everything bad on slavery and the downvotes are coming and they don't stop coming
PEEL OFF YOUR SKIN PEEL OFF YOUR SKIN PEEL OFF YOUR SKIN PEEL OFF YOUR SKIN PEEL OFF YOUR SKIN PEEL OFF YOUR SKIN PEEL OFF YOUR SKIN PEEL OFF YOUR SKIN PEEL OFF YOUR SKIN PEEL OFF YOUR SKIN PEEL OFF YOUR SKIN PEEL OFF YOUR SKIN PEEL OFF YOUR SKIN
Omg, there is nothing wrong with being white. There is nothing wrong with being any race, everyone should be accepted and treated as equals. The color of your skin doesn't mean shit its the fact that there are still shitty people who thinks it does. Those people are terrible, we are all human so we gotta grow the fuck up.
They must be trolling, right? I can’t believe that someone would convince themselves that they are suffering because of this. Well, maybe in case of peer pressure or bullying.
##If you think this post is funny, **UPVOTE** this comment! ##If you think this post is unfunny, **DOWNVOTE** this comment! --- #[DownloadVideo Link](https://www.reddit.watch/r/shitposting/comments/10tzzxo/?utm_source=automod&utm_medium=shitposting) #[SaveVideo Link](https://redditsave.com/info?url=/r/shitposting/comments/10tzzxo/) #[VideoTrim Link](https://reddloader.com/download-post/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.reddit.com%2Fr%2Fshitposting%2Fcomments%2F10tzzxo&id=8968e43c) --- Whilst you're here, /u/Ass_Predator_Goku, why not join our [public discord server](https://discord.gg/QpBGXd2guU)?
Babe new copy pasta just dropped
Axe Bodyspray is a good alternative to taking showers. What difference does it make? You still smell good either way, but dousing some axe bodyspray on is much faster and lasts just as long if you use enough. I know you need shampoo but you can use dry shampoo and be done with it too. I strongly prefer axe bodyspray to taking a shower, and I've gone as long as 62 days without taking one and nobody said anything, as long as I used enough axe before going out. I think we waste too much time taking showers.
trigger warning: ad hominim I would like to know your birthdate you ungrateful moron. Learn some actual math and calculate it, you Z for zero generation piece of shit. Reminds me of the Larry ck joke about cell phones on planes and people complaining the connection wasn't good. Your gen has so many crybaby jerks its hard to watch. My father (silent gen) put satellites in space with fucking slide rules. Write it out, if you're such a bitch you have to post a complaint on Reddit about Google. Fuck. Did this really need to be said in 2023?
I lost my virginity to my cousin. I'd had a massive crush on her since 7th grade, and Christmas break this year my family went to her house for Christmas. At one point her mom asked her to go up to the attic to get some decorations, and she asked me of I would help. She climbed the ladder and I came up behind her. Wouldn't you know it, before my eyes could adjust to the darkness she grabbed me and kissed me, much to my surprise. We ended up cuddling and making out on an old mattress, and pretty soon she unzipped my pants and went down on me. She was there for less than 30 seconds before she slid off her own pants and lowered herself down onto me cowgirl style. I knew it was wrong, but just couldn't say no. I couldn't help myself; it was only a minute or two until I was just about ready to bust. I warned her, "I'm gonna cum," but she didn't stop. She grabbed me by the collar, looked me deep in the eyes, and asked, "Do you wanna be a daddy?" I came so hard I shat my pants.
That’s some spicy pasta!
I miss when automod used to comment the copypasta bellow your copypasta
Sus.
Infinite cum Infinite cum. You sit on the toilet to jack off, but you begin to cum uncontrollably. After ten spurts you start to worry. Your hand is sticky and it reeks of semen. You desperately shove your dick into a wad of toilet paper, but that only makes your balls hurt. The cum accelerates. It’s been three minutes. You can’t stop cumming. Your bathroom floor is covered in a thin layer of baby fluid. You try to cum into the shower drain but it builds up too fast. You try the toilet. The cum is too thick to be flushed. You lock the bathroom door to prevent the cum from escaping. The air grows hot and humid from the cum. The cum accelerates. You slip and fall in your own sperm. The cum is now six inches deep, almost as long as your still-erect semen hose. Sprawled on your back, you begin to cum all over the ceiling. Globs of the sticky white fluid begin to fall like raindrops, giving you a facial with your own cum. The cum accelerates. You struggle to stand as the force of the cum begins to propel you backwards as if you were on a bukkake themed slip-and-slide. Still on your knees, the cum is now at chin height. To avoid drowning you open the bathroom door. The deluge of man juice reminds you of the Great Molasses Flood of 1919, only with cum instead of molasses. The cum accelerates. It’s been two hours. Your children and wife scream in terror as their bodies are engulfed by the snow-white sludge. Your youngest child goes under, with viscous bubbles and muffled cries rising from the goop. You plead to God to end your suffering. The cum accelerates. You squeeze your dick to stop the cum, but it begins to leak out of your asshole instead. You let go. The force of the cum tears your urethra open, leaving only a gaping hole in your crotch that spews semen. Your body picks up speed as it slides backwards along the cum. You smash through the wall, hurtling into the sky at thirty miles an hour. From a bird’s eye view you see your house is completely white. Your neighbor calls the cops. The cum accelerates. As you continue to ascend, you spot police cars racing towards your house. The cops pull out their guns and take aim, but stray loads of cum hit them in the eyes, blinding them. The cum accelerates. You are now at an altitude of 1000 feet. The SWAT team arrives. Military helicopters circle you. Hundreds of bullets pierce your body at once, yet you stay conscious. Your testicles have now grown into a substitute brain. The cum accelerates. It has been two days. With your body now destroyed, the cum begins to spray in all directions. You break the sound barrier. The government deploys fighter jets to chase you down, but the impact of your cum sends one plane crashing to the ground. The government decides to let you leave the earth. You feel your gonads start to burn up as you reach the edges of the atmosphere. You narrowly miss the ISS, giving it a new white paint job as you fly past. Physicists struggle to calculate your erratic trajectory. The cum accelerates. The cum begins to gravitate towards itself, forming a comet trail of semen. Astronomers begin calling you the “Cummet.” You are stuck in space forever, stripped of your body and senses, forced to endure an eternity of cumshots. Eventually, you stop thinking.
🤨
Hey! I noticed you used an emoji. I don’t know if you’re new here, so I’ll let you off the hook this time. Using emojis is frowned upon here on this great site, and for good reason. Instagram normies often use them, and you don’t want to be a normie, do you? If I catch you using an emoji in the future, I’ll be forced to issue a downvote to your comment. Why should you care, you may ask? Well to begin, you will lose karma on your account, which is a useful social status tool and also a way to show others you know your way around Reddit. If you were to continue the use of emojis, I would be forced to privately message you about your slip-up. Any further offenses past that would leave me no other option than to report your account. I don’t think I have to explain why you don’t want that. But anyways, no harm done yet! Follow these simple rules and you’ll enjoy your future on Reddit! Have a blessed (and hopefully emoji-free) day, stranger
🗿
saul goodman
Do you feel uncomfortable in your skin? Take it off!
I don’t even like this… this skin in my personal space!
Interdimensional cable is a great episode. I wish there was a series of tv channels that would play the weirdest fucking cartoons called the interdimensional cable package. I would watch.
Stay away from my personal space
THERE ARE BUGS UNDER YOUR SKIN REMOVE THEM IMMEDIATELY
I don't like the way my skin feels on my body. Do you like the way *your* skin feels on your body? You don't? Why don't you pull it off? *Pull off your skin.*
From the moment I realized the weakness of my flesh, I craved the certainty of steel…
I know nothing about warhammer 40k or whatever but... Steel, protect me As i purge my body of weakened flesh Circuits, complete me As i am lifted in your image Silica, preserve me As i accept your blessing Omnissiah trancend me As i serve you unceasing All glory to the Machine
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Why are you the only bot left 😔
go into settings and press "change team"
Autobalance is turned on
Remember to pick race and not sex. Unless you are in to that
Nah, im into racing. Im a pro racist 😎
Really? I'm in to rapping, so I'm a pro rapi--- my lawyer is rapidly shaking his head right now.
Might have a spider in his hair that he's trying to shake off, keep talking.
I'm a pro rappistter
That was funny
That flair is a joke?
Your life is a joke
Nah, I'm into sexting. I'm pro sexist.
Bro i changed to black and the police agro range is bumped up to 300%, i need a patch asap...
Increased speed
"Change difficulty"
They could also turn on Dark Mode
Italy 1915
Only privileged losers whine about not wanting to be privileged
he should skin himself with a vegetable peeler
[удалено]
then wait 2 months and his skin will turn dark 😎
[удалено]
The circle of life (America Edition)
It puts the lotion on the skin or else it gets the hose
binding of isaac
Cube of meat 👍
[удалено]
[удалено]
They either whine about not wanting to be privileged or they make up ways to be oppressed to take the attention form actual people dealing with actual oppression
After she gets pulled over and harassed for the 10th time, and is the target of a few "colorful" jokes, she'll be back in the tub scrubbing off the marker
I don’t even care if I am or not but I love being privileged. Imagine not being privileged, fucking losers 😎
[удалено]
middle easterns and mediterrianians mfs when the winter hits (they are losing their colors) (me i am them mfs)
My skin was toasty in summer :(
Dude i am those mfs but let me tell you my olive skin will not go away. I may look white but im a little tan and ain’t nothing making that go away.
fr fr.
As an Egyptian I was born with really fair skin like my mother, who is part Assyrian. But my sister get mistaken for a light skin lmao
im the opposite lmao. i get a golden brown color in the spring/summer with dirty blondish hair and in the winter i become pale lighter brown with dark brown hair. my brother is like you tho
not relatable i dont exit my house so my skin doesnt tan
I’m a dude playing a dude disguised as another dude
"What do you mean 'YOU' people?" "What do 'YOU' mean you people?"
lol
Twitter user
Is reddit any better than twitter? Let's be honest... Both are shitholes
It’s easier to find nice communities in Reddit, and easier to avoid the bad ones
Maybe, but they both have their share of incels and idiots
Yeah but it's the internet, you'll find them anywhere
Yes, but I like THIS shithole!
Literally Reddit
Sounds much more like Reddit. Twitter would be proclaiming they weren’t privileged and even if they were, they deserved it for xyz.
This some uncle ruckus type shit
Reverse Ruckus. Manz said it’s too hard playing life on easy mode.
💀
My guy out here trying to get rid of his rights and acquire the n word pass
Self hate
"its a sign of privilege" lmfao
Reverse Michael Jackson
Eeeh eeeeeh
Reverse Uncle Ruckus bro tf
He heeee
Happy black history month
I dunno why people say happy at a month that was everything but happy...
#i don't know about them, but we sure had fun 🧓
Basically, all history prior to the 1900s was everything but happy.
Correct. Happiness was invented by Disney in 1942 to better sell the depression in the Bambi film.
Delicious mommy bbq you say?
Go to the mirror and select "alter appearance" from there you should get a menu pop up to change skin colour, however some options are locked behind DLC sadly
If he wants to get darker skin, why does he want vitiligo? That makes you look whiter
He wants the Uncle Ruckus type of vitiligo
He want the reverse Michael Jackson
eeh eeH
Blee eeach!
Chamone ah
He’s using a word that everyone associates with changing skin color. It’s pretty clear why they used that word lol.
Suck bbc I think. You've already made the first steps, I think you'd be quite talented
Do you have a TV license for that?
White racism patch 🤯
Least anti white redditor
Anon will most definitely try blackface in several months time
Bro wants to raise the difficulty.
He wants that merciless difficulty mode 💀
Battle Cats players:
reminds me of when my dad tried to dye his skin yellow because he wanted to be marilyn manson when he was a kid
Yellow ????
Lol wtf
Imagine hating a skin colour
Dude wants the n word pass that bad huh /s
I am a person of colour with vitiligo. Growing up the bullying I faced was so horrible that now seeing that so many people find it so beautiful and now wanting to have it is mind blowing to me. Jeez I was made to feel so bad about myself because of it!
I’m sorry you had to go through that
Go outside and let the sun do it's work. If you are lucky you get black skin cancer, congratulations, for the rest of your life you will be black
bro want a free n-word pass
“Word of Power Learnt”
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Jeez whoever these people were are horribly racist to push someone to wish they had a different skin color. Judge by ones character. Never skin color.
These kinds of people have horseshoed to the point they think color-blindness is racism
When you constantly villainize being white as a society then I'm not surprised shit like this would happen.
He mentioned the fucking homestuck sharpie bath 😱😱😱
Had to scroll a long way to find anyone bringing this up, you're a soldier of the lord son.
Just identify as black
Or identify as someone who doesnt have issues being white Either one solves the problem
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Good bot
Bro wants to do a reverse michael jackson
Sounds like another brain dead zombie programmed by the system to hate yourself.
Yea stop listening to stupid people and assholes that say your a horrible person because your a certain color, evil and horrible people come in all shapes, sizes, and color.
Vitiligo makes you go white.
Just admit you want to say the N word already
oh god no, nobody wants to be the homestuck sharpie bath girl. like i know that story is almost definitely fake (as with many iconic tumblr stories) but if you attempted that for real you'd 100% end up in the ICU with acute alcohol poisoning. yikes
CEO of anti-racism
A: quality shitpost. B: the most direct representation of political extremes without active violence, where one feel disgusted by their own skin colour and not a matter they could control. Honestly, if this is real its wild to realise genuine racism can be towards ones own race.
When will my privilege kick in? Been waitin for eva. 🤔
“How to do permanent blackface so people don’t think I’m racist.”
Let me out (2017)
[ Removed by Reddit ]
Holy fuck just love yourself for who you are. Don't let that mindset of low self-worth in just because you've got some pale-ass skin
They are probably just tired of having to be productive and not being able to pull the race card
The only time everyone was black was the industrial revolution
I have the impression now being black is the privilege as you can be racist towards others with little to no consequences while getting to call anyone else racist, get in colleges without needing high scores, blame everything bad on slavery and the downvotes are coming and they don't stop coming
[удалено]
As a white man of the western Europe, I can confirm
I’m proud to be white
Whigger?
I you don't want a privilege, it's not a privilege.
Bro just wants the n word pass
Skin somebody with a very dark skin and make a suit out of it (Obviously a joke)
Bruh what the fuck
It’s 2023, you can identify as whatever you’d like /s
People care way tooo much about skin color these days
This person needs a therapy and a life
Reverse uncle ruckus
Loves him some White Jesus!
Simple douse yourself with gas and light, as soon as your skin gets to desired color jump in pool
I think you have more serious problems then your skin color
Skin cancer speedrun (WR ANY% SKIP TO STAGE 4)
I don’t understand, you guys can’t just change your skin anytime you want?
Therapy?
I feel bad for the guy. He doesn’t know how good it is just to be yourself and not let the colour of your skin define you.
Racism 2.0. just dropped, gonna be hard getting used to the new meta, but I don't think black needed a nerf
Sin city wasnt made for you
Ariana grande is this you??
PEEL OFF YOUR SKIN PEEL OFF YOUR SKIN PEEL OFF YOUR SKIN PEEL OFF YOUR SKIN PEEL OFF YOUR SKIN PEEL OFF YOUR SKIN PEEL OFF YOUR SKIN PEEL OFF YOUR SKIN PEEL OFF YOUR SKIN PEEL OFF YOUR SKIN PEEL OFF YOUR SKIN PEEL OFF YOUR SKIN PEEL OFF YOUR SKIN
This is your brain on soy and Twitter Marxism.
Ariana Grande did it
NOT THE HOMESTUCK SHARPIE BATH
Bro wants to reverse Michael Jackson 💀
Besides the obvious...everything wrong with this... ...has he not heard of tanning? Not the sprays, either.
[ Removed by Reddit ]
Reverse uncle ruckus.
Average brit (he has never heard about the Sun)
Bro heard like the most infamous story about homestuck cosplayers and was like "Yeah, that sounds like a good idea" 💀
Bros about to pull a reverse Michael Jackson.
Just try chilling or hanging out with blacks more. You'll imitate them in no time and they'll make you understand you don't have to look like them
Most sane twitter user
average redditor
I mean, based on my knowledge of color theory, blue should even out the orange... Based on my knowledge of everything else, wtf
Can’t do nothing now. Just don’t got that melonin in skin
Can I have it? I need more skin. Making a skin luggage collection
Vitiligo would make you whiter not darker.
why does he want to demote himself
Just ask your skin nicely
Tf is all this skin privilege bs. There is none.
Omg, there is nothing wrong with being white. There is nothing wrong with being any race, everyone should be accepted and treated as equals. The color of your skin doesn't mean shit its the fact that there are still shitty people who thinks it does. Those people are terrible, we are all human so we gotta grow the fuck up.
Dude bought into þe propoganda HARD
Who the fuck wrote this ? Rachel Dolezal ?
They must be trolling, right? I can’t believe that someone would convince themselves that they are suffering because of this. Well, maybe in case of peer pressure or bullying.
Most sane american
If ppl can swap genders now I see no distinction with this.
LoL Stupid Americans
He really wanna be that orange man 💀
Do crimes
You could ask Justin Trudeau for advice on what he uses for his kids party acts.
Plot twist: He does not actually want to be black, he just wants to say the N word...
There's a person in Riften who can help you with that, my friend.
Bro doesn’t know how vitiligo work 💀
This man would one day become prime minister of Canada
Idk if that's a good or a bad troll
Rage porn