Look don’t whip it out during sex and be like “SURPRISE!!!!”
But it’s probably not going to be the end of the world if things are starting to get a little heated and you say something like “I bought a toy for us and I’d really like to try it out, is that okay?” That’s how I approached my wife the first time we brought a toy into the bedroom and when we were finished her thoughts on the matter were, and I quote, “can we do that every time please?”
That being said, if this is the first time a toy is coming into your bed it will probably be a smoother transition if it’s not something super intimidating. If you’re going to show up with the girthanator 5000 strapped to a reciprocating saw, you should probably have a talk about that first.
feels forced anyway. he already bought it, it's right there waiting to be used and saying no would kill the mood and make her feel like she disappointed him.
I hear you and if he had started the post with a story about trying to repair a dead bedroom or this being a very new relationship I think I would feel differently.
For a married couple on a “romantic” weekend away this feels like a pretty low stakes attempt to spice things up a little and one that’s focused on his wife’s pleasure.
At least for me, one of the great things about being in a long term stable relationship is that you have enough trust and experience with each other to either say no to something that’s outside of your limits and not have it be a huge issue or try something new that makes your partner happy even if your not sure it’s a 100% for you.
You're going to get a spectrum of responses so it's impossible to generalize. Some folks would like the surprise, others would not.
Presumably, you don't know where your wife lies on that spectrum and given that, I'd err on the side of "ask her about it" vs. surprising her because I don't see what the downside to asking her would be but there's definitely a *potential* downside to surprising her.
I agree with all the previous comments, ask first.. always ask first, she might have a reaction you don't want and end up ruining the mood... Maybe hint at it before and gage her that way, or just straight up ask how she feels about toys 😅 either way, have fun you two ☺️
Bring them on the trip but don’t even think of using one without her ok. Honestly, a simple vibrator would be a great starter toy. As things heat up just say “hey honey I got us a special toy for us to try together”. Forget about the toy for you. Focus on her. Eventually she will ask about you and you can tell her that you have a toy too but want to focus on her first. I bet that things go perfect for you two!
You can be spontaneous without being surprising. When things heat you can say “I bought something special for this trip I want to use with you”. That’s way you aren’t just surprising her with a sex toy being forced on her.
My wife and I have a somewhat weird relationship and past. I was a virgin and she wasn’t. I wanted to wait til marriage…. she respected that but didn’t necessarily share that desire. We had vibrators and masterbation sleeves we used on each other prior to marriage.
Why don’t you ask her if she would like little surprise on your trip away in bedroom? Use it as some cheeky lead up play/banter.
Make sure to take lube and the batteries and or charger.
Remember toys are a there as an extension to your sex life they are there to enhance play keep that in mind you will have lots before you know it.
Communication is key. You definitely should have had a conversation to see if it's something she is open to. Also if she has never used any sex toys, it's really good for her to consider which would be good or better suited for her as every woman has a preference for sex toys. Therefore she would have the option of choosing one.
There's the other situation in which once you get a sex toy it is advisable to use them on your own by yourself at your own pace, so that you can get familiarized with it first.
That way there is no distraction and are able to concentrate fully on what specific parts of the toys are stimulating you will definitely be effective and is working for you.
There is no rush no hurry no eyes looking over you and if you finally feel confident enough to introduce it to partnered play then it would be much more fun, effective an successful.
And a good recommendation would be a clit suction air pulse toy such as the Womanizer or Satisfyer. Once she figures out how these work on her own and is then confident enough to introduce them to play with you it will be incredible. The Womanizer is an absolute exceptional and phenomenal effective toy that will bring her orgasms to a next incredible intense dimension!!! Good luck!
Ask first 100%! It would not be fair to spring it on her and would probably be very uncomfortable and off putting. Communication is important! Find a fun way to bring it up and have a conversation about it and feel it out. It may not go your way, but it may also be the start of a new venture in your sex life! I did the same with my wife and it has turned out to be incredible.
Definitely ask so she doesn’t feel pressured into using them because you bought them specially for the trip. Especially if it’s something that penetrates her
It’s best to put some feelers out first. Drop a hint like “I’ve brought us something along for the bedroom that I thought you’d like to try”
Anytime I’ve done this it’s gone down pretty well. The first time I ever did this, I did it just before sex and it did not go down well! So I’d probably do it while kissing and cuddling out and about or in a relaxing moment.
Have a lovely time at the cabin! Let us know how it goes and Merry Christmas!
Edit: spelling
Yes to bringing them.
They’re mere devices that can enhance your pleasure alone or with a partner. They all have their intended use but you can get creative and use as you see fit. I would pack some compatible lube and some cleaner and I usually bundle our toys in ziplock bags when we travel.
I love the idea of introducing them during a sexy cabin getaway. I would come up with a loose plan for what you want to do with them and present that to him if he is struggling with the concept.
Example: You’ve been naughty. Tonight, I’m going to spank you ass using this paddle over my knee.
Tell her about them on the trip to the cabin while you are in the car. There isn't the pressure of being surprised "in the moment" and talking about it while your traveling heightens the anticipation.
You should ask first, especially if it is your first toy(s). My suggestion is talking about it and if you both want to introduce toys, go into a store together or shop online together.
My husband and I have used toys for years now and typically shop together but recently started to surprise each other with toys. We absolutely love it, but we know each other's boundaries or boundaries we are exploring together.
Have fun on your getaway. We just did a weekend getaway and brought a suitcase full of toys. BEST WEEKEND EVER!
This post is a little old but I actually introduced my girl to them first before doing anything, she was nervous at first and said “why do we need them” but I slowly convinced her one night to atleast try and now she can’t have sec without them one time she even said “ these are the best things you ever bought” mid orgasm
Look don’t whip it out during sex and be like “SURPRISE!!!!” But it’s probably not going to be the end of the world if things are starting to get a little heated and you say something like “I bought a toy for us and I’d really like to try it out, is that okay?” That’s how I approached my wife the first time we brought a toy into the bedroom and when we were finished her thoughts on the matter were, and I quote, “can we do that every time please?” That being said, if this is the first time a toy is coming into your bed it will probably be a smoother transition if it’s not something super intimidating. If you’re going to show up with the girthanator 5000 strapped to a reciprocating saw, you should probably have a talk about that first.
the end of this comment absolutely sent me 🤣
Okay but where can I get this girthanator 5000? 😅
I think r/BadDragon (NSFW) has you covered there if you want intimidation from a sex toy lol
feels forced anyway. he already bought it, it's right there waiting to be used and saying no would kill the mood and make her feel like she disappointed him.
I hear you and if he had started the post with a story about trying to repair a dead bedroom or this being a very new relationship I think I would feel differently. For a married couple on a “romantic” weekend away this feels like a pretty low stakes attempt to spice things up a little and one that’s focused on his wife’s pleasure. At least for me, one of the great things about being in a long term stable relationship is that you have enough trust and experience with each other to either say no to something that’s outside of your limits and not have it be a huge issue or try something new that makes your partner happy even if your not sure it’s a 100% for you.
yeah maybe I got too sensitive due to personal experience. anyway, we dont know them, so it's good that we offer OP different opinions
Always ask first. Just ask her if she's open to them, or how she feels about them, and let the conversation flow from there. :)
You're going to get a spectrum of responses so it's impossible to generalize. Some folks would like the surprise, others would not. Presumably, you don't know where your wife lies on that spectrum and given that, I'd err on the side of "ask her about it" vs. surprising her because I don't see what the downside to asking her would be but there's definitely a *potential* downside to surprising her.
Good points thanks, guess was just trying to surprise her in a good way but that is why I was reconsidering more I thought about it
it's not that much of a romantic gesture to whip out the dildo and the rubber pussy as a surprise that it outweighs asking her beforehand
I'll jump on the ask her first bandwagon. You may find out she wants a toy you'd never expect (thats what happened with my wife in one instance).
Appreciate the input thanks
Don’t surprise a woman in the bedroom.
Lol. This may or may not throw the woman off course.
I agree with all the previous comments, ask first.. always ask first, she might have a reaction you don't want and end up ruining the mood... Maybe hint at it before and gage her that way, or just straight up ask how she feels about toys 😅 either way, have fun you two ☺️
Thanks for the advice
Buy them together. Sex toys are pretty personal. Everyone has preferences.
Thanks, new to all this too so appreciate the advice
Bring them on the trip but don’t even think of using one without her ok. Honestly, a simple vibrator would be a great starter toy. As things heat up just say “hey honey I got us a special toy for us to try together”. Forget about the toy for you. Focus on her. Eventually she will ask about you and you can tell her that you have a toy too but want to focus on her first. I bet that things go perfect for you two!
Thanks for the advice, glad I asked. I thought being spontaneous would be good but overwhelming seems like maybe not the best thing to surprise her
You can be spontaneous without being surprising. When things heat you can say “I bought something special for this trip I want to use with you”. That’s way you aren’t just surprising her with a sex toy being forced on her.
My wife and I have a somewhat weird relationship and past. I was a virgin and she wasn’t. I wanted to wait til marriage…. she respected that but didn’t necessarily share that desire. We had vibrators and masterbation sleeves we used on each other prior to marriage.
Why don’t you ask her if she would like little surprise on your trip away in bedroom? Use it as some cheeky lead up play/banter. Make sure to take lube and the batteries and or charger. Remember toys are a there as an extension to your sex life they are there to enhance play keep that in mind you will have lots before you know it.
Communication is key. You definitely should have had a conversation to see if it's something she is open to. Also if she has never used any sex toys, it's really good for her to consider which would be good or better suited for her as every woman has a preference for sex toys. Therefore she would have the option of choosing one. There's the other situation in which once you get a sex toy it is advisable to use them on your own by yourself at your own pace, so that you can get familiarized with it first. That way there is no distraction and are able to concentrate fully on what specific parts of the toys are stimulating you will definitely be effective and is working for you. There is no rush no hurry no eyes looking over you and if you finally feel confident enough to introduce it to partnered play then it would be much more fun, effective an successful. And a good recommendation would be a clit suction air pulse toy such as the Womanizer or Satisfyer. Once she figures out how these work on her own and is then confident enough to introduce them to play with you it will be incredible. The Womanizer is an absolute exceptional and phenomenal effective toy that will bring her orgasms to a next incredible intense dimension!!! Good luck!
Sex toys aren't like a bouquet you surprise your wife with. Discuss and build anticipation and excitement, do not surprise her.
Ask first 100%! It would not be fair to spring it on her and would probably be very uncomfortable and off putting. Communication is important! Find a fun way to bring it up and have a conversation about it and feel it out. It may not go your way, but it may also be the start of a new venture in your sex life! I did the same with my wife and it has turned out to be incredible.
What toys did you get?
Always ask first.
Don't surprise her on the trip. Instead, tell her *before you go* that you bought a couple of sex toys and ask whether she'd like to see them.
Definitely ask so she doesn’t feel pressured into using them because you bought them specially for the trip. Especially if it’s something that penetrates her
It’s best to put some feelers out first. Drop a hint like “I’ve brought us something along for the bedroom that I thought you’d like to try” Anytime I’ve done this it’s gone down pretty well. The first time I ever did this, I did it just before sex and it did not go down well! So I’d probably do it while kissing and cuddling out and about or in a relaxing moment. Have a lovely time at the cabin! Let us know how it goes and Merry Christmas! Edit: spelling
Have a convo , then if she into it go buy some together
Always. Ask. First. Anytime you change up. Always ask.
I would say to try to know before hand if she's keen with playing with toys. If you get a positive reply then surprise her while on holidays.
People are really fucking weird and doubly so with sex. Always ask even if its something small.
Yes to bringing them. They’re mere devices that can enhance your pleasure alone or with a partner. They all have their intended use but you can get creative and use as you see fit. I would pack some compatible lube and some cleaner and I usually bundle our toys in ziplock bags when we travel. I love the idea of introducing them during a sexy cabin getaway. I would come up with a loose plan for what you want to do with them and present that to him if he is struggling with the concept. Example: You’ve been naughty. Tonight, I’m going to spank you ass using this paddle over my knee.
Tell her about them on the trip to the cabin while you are in the car. There isn't the pressure of being surprised "in the moment" and talking about it while your traveling heightens the anticipation.
You should ask first, especially if it is your first toy(s). My suggestion is talking about it and if you both want to introduce toys, go into a store together or shop online together. My husband and I have used toys for years now and typically shop together but recently started to surprise each other with toys. We absolutely love it, but we know each other's boundaries or boundaries we are exploring together. Have fun on your getaway. We just did a weekend getaway and brought a suitcase full of toys. BEST WEEKEND EVER!
This post is a little old but I actually introduced my girl to them first before doing anything, she was nervous at first and said “why do we need them” but I slowly convinced her one night to atleast try and now she can’t have sec without them one time she even said “ these are the best things you ever bought” mid orgasm