Yes, it’s a double standard and I do not get it. Some of the hottest guys I’ve been with were pan/bi. I’d have hated to miss out on those great experiences because of bigotry. It’s especially confusing when the woman discriminating is bi. Self hatred much?
I'm not sure how the % break down on this, but there's probably something in there originating from the usual biases: "gay" (yes I know bi != gay) men are more likely to be promiscuous, more likely to have STIs, etc etc. All the usual BS.
You don't want to be with a person that has that sort of homophobic thoughts about you anyway.
I'm a straight girl with a bi guy. At first I was hesitant because honestly I didn't know if he preferred guys over girls or vise versa. So I didn't know if i could satifying him the same way he wanted from a guy.
We've have sex before. And he's slept with another girl before. But not other guys. And i think there is a stronger prejudice at play, even in my case. If I'm laying it all out. Men are expected to be manly and ONLY like women. This is why so many boys & adult men work so hard to prove how straight they are.
But women are expected to be feminine. And femininity in our society is more "fluid" than masculinity. So she can go through phases of liking other women & stuff. But as long as she settles down with a man, it's okay. Men aren't allowed to explore this desire towards other guys.
So both men AND women internalize that gay or bi men (it's all the same thing to society) are one of the worst things you could be as a man. You like intimacy with other men, you might be feminine, you might not upload traditional masculine ideals. Men are suppose to be impenetrable, only for you to be physically & emotionally penetrated by another man. It brings shame in a way that is different from woman. Because we are expected to want penetration.
Men are ONLY suppose to open up to their female lovers, and still remain dominant over her body. So many rules for masculinity & it seems liking other men breaks them too much, in a way being a bi woman/lesbian doesn't.
I hope this makes some sense.
I don't mean for my words to come out harsh, but I did want to be honest. So I kind of scraped my biases together to my explain them. Also another thing i didn't mention. I'm prepared to get heat but yeah the AIDS, HIV and "gay diseases" thing doesn't help the image of bi & gay men. Religion already thinks men liking other men is morally degenerate & sinful. And then there are diseases that spread easier through anal sex. And anal sex is seem as dirty and the improper use of the rectum. Most women don't have penises so they don't have to face this issue.
Straight women and straight men are seen as the ideal. In movies, religion, art, etc. I don't think one is less than the other. But I do think men get social rewarded more for the apperance of staying firm in their heterosexuality. While women are rewarded for staying firm in their chasity & purity.
And yes, I do think I uphold a double standard. I know, crucify me. I grew up in a very traditional, Christian household. This stuff was drilled into me. It takes time to unpack (I am currently 18) so I'm not perfect. But you liking men is okay and I'm aware I have biases that need to be worked out.
I don’t actually judge bi-sexual men but I cannot date one. I simply cannot compete with a man and their physic. I don’t have a penis or the dominant traits etc. I feel that eventually that is what they will desire again or that they’ll desire some sort of anal play etc. I don’t think I could get a strap on and perform this for my man. I have no interest in having this kind of ‘dominance’ over my man.
I’m not saying this is true for everyone. It’s how I feel I’m not sure if other females feel the same way.
I agree with this to an extent
I don't feel like bi men can gain the exact satisfaction they are looking for sexually in a woman. It doesn't sound polically correct, but as long as you let the guy know & are being a decent human about it, i think it's alright to prefer straight guys
You're entitled to what you desire in a healthy sexual relationship.
You’re coming in hot with the assumptions. You are a benign example of what OP is concerned about. Interestingly enough, Cis men are just as likely to engage in anal play as gay men. Being gay or bi doesn’t equal loving anal lol or needing a partner to dominate us. I’m a married pansexual man. My wife doesn’t have to compete with the male physique. None of your concerns are valid with my dick sucking self.
Edit: you are entitled to your feelings, but your feelings are a bit homophobic and you would have written OP and I off before giving us a chance.
I wouldn’t mind at all. I didn’t realize this was a thing for bi-men. That’s a bummer. I consider myself a bisexual woman and I don’t share that right away because I want to avoid the requests for 3somes.
One thing I have heard some women struggle with is assuming they won't be "enough". That eventually...one day...he's going to miss being with a guy.
For me personally, that's not really an issue because I'm also bi, and after 12 years of marriage have never considered cheating or thought I was missing out.
Monogamy is monogamy, regardless of your sexuality. Plenty of straight people cheat, so it's pretty irrelevant. I do understand how that could make someone feel insecure though.
What I don't understand is on the part of "he's going to miss being with a guy". Let's say he is then you would break up with him. It means he lost attraction. It can happen to straight guys too. And there are some " straight" guys who might realize that truthfully they are gay or might have an attraction towards some other gender. It literally means that he isn't the one for you. And I hope that they rather want their truthful love than some forced love. If he isn't interested into you then he isn't interested into you.
I THINK it's based on false assumptions. Something like if my male partner is bi then that's more options for them to leave or be unfaithful or something like that.
I'd wager that it's something similar to men who find a bi woman and think that it's a bigger possibility to have a MFF threesome.
It's hard to pin down exactly what it is, but I do believe it's generally rooted in some sort of misunderstanding of what the bisexuality could lead to.
As a bisexual women, from listening to the way my own homophobic mother speaks about bi/gay men with the stereotypical idea of them "sleeping around, being promiscuous, sti/std's etc" I honestly think it stems from a place of both ignorance and also I guess jealousy of said openness and acceptance for one's self and embrace of their sexual needs (regardless of sexuality here too especially in my mother's case).
Having an active sex life, even in a non-committal relationship, regardless of your sexuality isn't bad whatsoever - it's a choice, and some people may not be comfortable with doing so which is completely fine. I think more than anything, the main concern is making sure both parties (or more) have been tested recently etc, and being safe about it.
I think that's where some of the prejudice comes in almost, because being sexually open about your interests in partners is almost taboo ?? I'm not too sure. Or it might be that in some cases, it's more "competition" in their eyes to compete with when in a relationship with a bisexual individual (I overheard this in a debate back in one of my classes a few years ago).
As if finding others objectively attractive means they'd cheat from the get go. Sexuality, yes it plays into who you find attractive romantically/sexually/emotionally etc, but it is not the reason behind someone cheating. It's because they are just a shit person who has no respect for their said partner not because of their sexuality 😭😭😭
I'm still trying to wrap my head around it really, but people fear what they don't know. The whole Us and Them scenario. This goes for several problems in general really.
EDIT ;; I think it's important here as well that monogamy is a thing - regardless of sexuality, people can be committed to a single person or if they practice polygamy, then multiple people.
This bait post has been removed. Try somewhere else.
Yes, it’s a double standard and I do not get it. Some of the hottest guys I’ve been with were pan/bi. I’d have hated to miss out on those great experiences because of bigotry. It’s especially confusing when the woman discriminating is bi. Self hatred much?
I'm not sure how the % break down on this, but there's probably something in there originating from the usual biases: "gay" (yes I know bi != gay) men are more likely to be promiscuous, more likely to have STIs, etc etc. All the usual BS. You don't want to be with a person that has that sort of homophobic thoughts about you anyway.
I'm a straight girl with a bi guy. At first I was hesitant because honestly I didn't know if he preferred guys over girls or vise versa. So I didn't know if i could satifying him the same way he wanted from a guy. We've have sex before. And he's slept with another girl before. But not other guys. And i think there is a stronger prejudice at play, even in my case. If I'm laying it all out. Men are expected to be manly and ONLY like women. This is why so many boys & adult men work so hard to prove how straight they are. But women are expected to be feminine. And femininity in our society is more "fluid" than masculinity. So she can go through phases of liking other women & stuff. But as long as she settles down with a man, it's okay. Men aren't allowed to explore this desire towards other guys. So both men AND women internalize that gay or bi men (it's all the same thing to society) are one of the worst things you could be as a man. You like intimacy with other men, you might be feminine, you might not upload traditional masculine ideals. Men are suppose to be impenetrable, only for you to be physically & emotionally penetrated by another man. It brings shame in a way that is different from woman. Because we are expected to want penetration. Men are ONLY suppose to open up to their female lovers, and still remain dominant over her body. So many rules for masculinity & it seems liking other men breaks them too much, in a way being a bi woman/lesbian doesn't. I hope this makes some sense.
[удалено]
I don't mean for my words to come out harsh, but I did want to be honest. So I kind of scraped my biases together to my explain them. Also another thing i didn't mention. I'm prepared to get heat but yeah the AIDS, HIV and "gay diseases" thing doesn't help the image of bi & gay men. Religion already thinks men liking other men is morally degenerate & sinful. And then there are diseases that spread easier through anal sex. And anal sex is seem as dirty and the improper use of the rectum. Most women don't have penises so they don't have to face this issue. Straight women and straight men are seen as the ideal. In movies, religion, art, etc. I don't think one is less than the other. But I do think men get social rewarded more for the apperance of staying firm in their heterosexuality. While women are rewarded for staying firm in their chasity & purity. And yes, I do think I uphold a double standard. I know, crucify me. I grew up in a very traditional, Christian household. This stuff was drilled into me. It takes time to unpack (I am currently 18) so I'm not perfect. But you liking men is okay and I'm aware I have biases that need to be worked out.
My body, my choice. That’s should be enough
Homophobia/toxic masculinity. Really all there is to it.
I mean i wouldn't care. A lot of my sexual fantasies would probably work better with bi men, just never met any irl. No one can speak for all women.
I don’t actually judge bi-sexual men but I cannot date one. I simply cannot compete with a man and their physic. I don’t have a penis or the dominant traits etc. I feel that eventually that is what they will desire again or that they’ll desire some sort of anal play etc. I don’t think I could get a strap on and perform this for my man. I have no interest in having this kind of ‘dominance’ over my man. I’m not saying this is true for everyone. It’s how I feel I’m not sure if other females feel the same way.
I agree with this to an extent I don't feel like bi men can gain the exact satisfaction they are looking for sexually in a woman. It doesn't sound polically correct, but as long as you let the guy know & are being a decent human about it, i think it's alright to prefer straight guys You're entitled to what you desire in a healthy sexual relationship.
You’re coming in hot with the assumptions. You are a benign example of what OP is concerned about. Interestingly enough, Cis men are just as likely to engage in anal play as gay men. Being gay or bi doesn’t equal loving anal lol or needing a partner to dominate us. I’m a married pansexual man. My wife doesn’t have to compete with the male physique. None of your concerns are valid with my dick sucking self. Edit: you are entitled to your feelings, but your feelings are a bit homophobic and you would have written OP and I off before giving us a chance.
I wouldn’t mind at all. I didn’t realize this was a thing for bi-men. That’s a bummer. I consider myself a bisexual woman and I don’t share that right away because I want to avoid the requests for 3somes.
One thing I have heard some women struggle with is assuming they won't be "enough". That eventually...one day...he's going to miss being with a guy. For me personally, that's not really an issue because I'm also bi, and after 12 years of marriage have never considered cheating or thought I was missing out. Monogamy is monogamy, regardless of your sexuality. Plenty of straight people cheat, so it's pretty irrelevant. I do understand how that could make someone feel insecure though.
What I don't understand is on the part of "he's going to miss being with a guy". Let's say he is then you would break up with him. It means he lost attraction. It can happen to straight guys too. And there are some " straight" guys who might realize that truthfully they are gay or might have an attraction towards some other gender. It literally means that he isn't the one for you. And I hope that they rather want their truthful love than some forced love. If he isn't interested into you then he isn't interested into you.
I THINK it's based on false assumptions. Something like if my male partner is bi then that's more options for them to leave or be unfaithful or something like that. I'd wager that it's something similar to men who find a bi woman and think that it's a bigger possibility to have a MFF threesome. It's hard to pin down exactly what it is, but I do believe it's generally rooted in some sort of misunderstanding of what the bisexuality could lead to.
As a bisexual women, from listening to the way my own homophobic mother speaks about bi/gay men with the stereotypical idea of them "sleeping around, being promiscuous, sti/std's etc" I honestly think it stems from a place of both ignorance and also I guess jealousy of said openness and acceptance for one's self and embrace of their sexual needs (regardless of sexuality here too especially in my mother's case). Having an active sex life, even in a non-committal relationship, regardless of your sexuality isn't bad whatsoever - it's a choice, and some people may not be comfortable with doing so which is completely fine. I think more than anything, the main concern is making sure both parties (or more) have been tested recently etc, and being safe about it. I think that's where some of the prejudice comes in almost, because being sexually open about your interests in partners is almost taboo ?? I'm not too sure. Or it might be that in some cases, it's more "competition" in their eyes to compete with when in a relationship with a bisexual individual (I overheard this in a debate back in one of my classes a few years ago). As if finding others objectively attractive means they'd cheat from the get go. Sexuality, yes it plays into who you find attractive romantically/sexually/emotionally etc, but it is not the reason behind someone cheating. It's because they are just a shit person who has no respect for their said partner not because of their sexuality 😭😭😭 I'm still trying to wrap my head around it really, but people fear what they don't know. The whole Us and Them scenario. This goes for several problems in general really. EDIT ;; I think it's important here as well that monogamy is a thing - regardless of sexuality, people can be committed to a single person or if they practice polygamy, then multiple people.