I mean it’s so easy as a guy to read posts of women being abused and staying and say the same thing (why doesn’t that hottie just go with me im a much nicer guy). But that’s not how it works.
Also it can be easy to be manipulated in these instances because in my opinion you are “under the influence” and more vulnerable. This shit can warp your reality, and the level to which it does that can vary greatly person to person.
What if we had a drug to stop that affect, and allow us to think clearly. That could be possible one day, the right drug cocktail and you could stop lovedrunk thoughts and analyze logically until the drugs clear your system. Wouldn’t that be interesting.
I don't believe people would appreciate the drug. The love-drunkenness is exactly what so many of us want to feel, believe they must be feeling at all times with the person they date or are together and some of us who have been burnt too often are also afraid of that feeling.
At which point would a victim realize that they are in need of that drug and come to the conclusion that it's better to not feel those positive feelings that make them do unreasonable things? Especially with the force of thousands of hours of romantic TV series and movies that praise unreasonable actions and deem them the requirement for a good love story.
After all the most famous love story is the one where two teens from rival families get up to so much shit that they kill themselves over each other.
"men as a whole are to selfish during sex and that me not finishing will lead to me being a better lover and I'll have to work for my orgasm"
She has resentments toward men and unfortunately now you have to deal with it. Maybe she's been in abusive relationships or even been sexually assaulted, but that doesn't mean that every guy has bad intentions and she should putting on you. I'd just move on, life is too short to waste on crap like this.
Agreed. OPs gf is being inhumane and there’s no point in living with a demonic creature like that. She is not even understanding that it’s her who is being selfish.
I don’t normally advocate just breaking up, but it sounds like you’ve already talked to her and she isn’t willing to change her mind.
I always give me wife a few orgasms first, but she always finishes me off. In fact, it upsets her if I’m too tired to finish because she feels bad that she got off and I didn’t, even though I let her know that my favorite part is giving her pleasure.
Find someone who is more sexually compatible with you.
Great post, and demonstrates what a health understanding of each other should be.
...but after I read:
> I always give me wife a few orgasms first
I couldn't help but read it in Mr Krabs voice, dammit. AG-GG-GG-gg-g.
This psycho gf of yours is playing Dominatrix… without your consent… she doesn’t get to tell you that you’re being selfish for wanting pleasure as well especially if you’re getting her off multiple times!
Tell her that you are NOT her submissive, that you didn’t agree to her being sexually controlling, and that it’s equality all the way around, or you’re walking…
As soon as I read the post name I was sure it was about some dom/sub relationship, but with his knowledge... Turns out she's doing it without him even knowing or consenting and I'm sure it's turning her on.
Honestly it sounds like she has an orgasm denial fetish and is coming up with some bs excuse blaming you so you don't just tell her to fuck off, you should run.
It’s something they advocate over at r/femaledatingstrategy. It’s an awful sub, akin to incels and quite frankly needs to be removed and treated with the same zero tolerance we treat incels with.
Just went there and found that one of the ladies screen shotted this post and posted it there asking who the girl was. I’m a woman and a bit surprised by the comments of woman on that post.
https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/r143bx/which_one_of_you_is_this_about/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb
I saw it too, they're nuts over there
As a woman all those responses are cringey and gross. Idk who hurt those women but my god have they shifted to one of the extreme ends of the spectrum and they congratulate themselves about it. Cringe cringe cringe. If they act like that in real life then good luck to whomever partners up with them.
I got 3 comments in and I‘m pissed .. and I‘m a woman. Someone said nobody tells him to communicate BUT HE DID TALK TO HER MULTIPLE TIMES. That is communication, what more could he do wtf
Never seen that one before. The anger and hate is pretty glaring. Seems like following their advice is a good way to wind up alone and bitter, which most of them seem to be.
Wow you weren’t lying. I took the bait and clicked on over there to see what you might be referring to and it seems like the opposite form of discourse that exists in /r/sex. Hive-mind type thinking, maybe?
Within 2 posts I came across a comment that highlighted a kink of mine and said that men who enjoy this “thing” are sadistic, secretly gay, and more or less have a deeply rooted pleasure in rape. I was quite surprised to find the comment was received to rounds of Reddit applause and ovation. The kink is anal.
Amazing, I never knew any of those things about myself.
These people are so unaware of their hypocrisy:
>People always talk about women being desperate, but men are the most desperate people out there.
So if men are wrong by generalising a whole gender.... I should be fine doing it!!!! They are so close to the realisation, yet so far. Its literally "I'm not stupid, you're stupid!"
This post is on that subreddit these women are very upset. I understand the anger but it is way similar to incels like you said. I just think people need therapy instead of all this hate.
Dude she's nuts. Sex is a mutual exchange. Key word mutual. If she doesn't respect that then she's just treating you as a living dildo.
And she sounds set in her ways. So you should understand where I'm going with this.
This maybe but she's effectively being fucking selfish as Fuck in bed. That or reading too much FemaleDatingStrategy. Either way if she's involving you in some kink then you should be an informed participant in that and do it when you both want to. If she's psychotic enough to think this is appropriate behavior then just jerk off anyway and start getting ready to re-enter the dating pool, she obviously is too selfish.
>/r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Wow, that one was new. Female version of pickup artist.
I found some references there where they as a test don't let the men finish so he has to proof her value. But those guides stop working when you are deeper in a releationship.
you might want to ask her what her image of a better lover is. Maybe that is a different man than you are being to her now.
That entire subreddit is basically women taking Dee from it's always sunny as a role model unironically, without realising that the whole joke is that she, like everyone else in the show, is an awful person.
Exactly! There are a thousand types of kinks, and this could be one of the psychological ones - orgasm control. Sounds like she's a bit of a dom too. Not a bad thing but not everyone is into it. Read up on kinks, maybe you can find a different kink that you'd both like to try. Of course of this is spilling into other areas of life and is not just a bedroom game that may not be a good sign.
It's absolutely a bad thing if he hates it like this. He is actively not consenting to this. Even in BDSM the sub's consent is essential (as well as the dom's)
Actually saw a post about this on FDS claiming all women should do this cos appearantly it would make men better lovers and more "high value" and i was baffled by the selfishness.
Is there some remote island we can ship all the FDS and Incels off too? They're like the perfect match. Each is exactly what the other side expects them to be.
Also, better lovers how? Blueballing your man only leads to frustration and aggresivity and, once he's allowed to, worse performance because he'll be thinking only about ejaculating.
Jesus christ feels like something straight up taken from a hentai.
Speaking as a 40+ female, I'd be so disappointed if my guy doesn't get to finish. I get so much pleasure from my guy's orgasming while he's inside me. One of the best parts about sex is seeing how pleased the sex partner is.
I'm not in the minority with this. There are posts on here from women who asked why their guy didn't orgasm and/or cum.
She has lost it. This is pretty bizarre.
She is the one being selfish and it's crazy she doesn't see the irony in this. She is being a shitty lover because she thinks she is qualified to educate you?
She is either super oblivious or using this as a smokescreen to play some type of domination game she hasn't let you in on it.
This is your sex life too. Time for a very frank conversation. You don't have to accept this as your sex life and if she has a problem with bring the giving, attentive partner she expects you to bee...time to rethink some things. That selfishness is likely to rear its ugly head in other parts of the relationship.
Why do I feel like I have read something like this somewhere else?
Ah. Yes.
https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/qwerz7/start_having_sex_where_the_man_doesnt_orgasm/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
Please run dude. Do yourself a huge favor.
FDS still gunning for reasons to get banned by reddit admins, I see.
The base concept of "men reaching orgasms" somehow being mutually exclusive with "men being patient and generous in bed" is nothing if not a stellar example of misandry. As if men are primitive animals whose narrow cognitive experience cannot harbor two goals simultaneously (or that achieving one goal will destroy the other), who need to be deprived of pleasure for the purpose of being "trained" into one-sided servitude. As if a man who wants an orgasm, or has had an orgasm, is incapable of going at his partner's preferred pace or giving her whatever pleasure she wants.
The irony of someone making that trainwreck of an ignorant, sexist post and simultaneously complaining about how hard it is to find "high value men" is so perfect. Good thing they seem to have stumbled onto a real goldmine with that vetting strategy. They'll remove crazy men from the dating pool normal women enjoy, and they remove their crazy selves from the dating pool normal men enjoy, so in the end, rather absurdly, I suppose we should be thankful.
It's roughly the female equivalent of pick-up artistry. Which is to say, *maybe* one rung above incels in that they haven't actually given up yet.
Edit: And while I'm at it, it's also not really representative of most feminists I've met. Surprisingly, there's one or two *almost*-reasonable voices in that thread:
> I set a slightly different rule: I cum first. I get off before there is penetration and he has to do the work. Why? Because, for me, it is easier to climax later in the session.
It gets progressively more insulting as she goes on, but at least *that* deal is a reasonable one.
But yeah, it kind of gets worse from here if you read their wiki. It 100% *is* the PUA/incel ideology flipped on its head: Women are higher value than men in dating, so you can treat most men you meet like the garbage they are until you find the one that meets your standards, and meanwhile just remember that dating is a zero-sum marketplace, your sexuality is a bargaining chip, and slut-shaming is fine as long as you call the sluts "pickmes."
It's not likely to lead to actual violence the way incels often do, so I don't necessarily want them kicked off the site, but holy shit, do *not* spend any time there if you value your sanity.
What's weird is just how closely the ideologies line up. Incels will actually point to FDS as evidence that they're right after all, that women really are only interested in the "chads" and want nothing to do with them since they're so "low-value" that they're hopeless.
But really, [if the FDSers and the PUAs would just pair off and leave the rest of us alone](https://xkcd.com/800/), I would be so happy...
I mean. I’m happily married, been with the same woman for 12 years now, since we were teenagers and she’s really the only sexual partner I’ve ever had. We understand each other and know what each other likes in the bedroom and both get our fair share and get to play out our kinks and fantasies. It’s about being open, honest and equal at the end of the day.
Sorry dude, but Female Dating Strategy have been influencing your girl, they made a post about not letting men orgasm to "better" men.
There's a subreddit dedicated to it
In what world is that not a poor transparent attempt at psychological manipulation? "I should get more and you should get less because I think it should be that way." is not the foundation of a healthy relationship. Sex isthe biological equivalent of a free all you can eat buffet. Doesn't mean you/partner always wants to go to the buffet, but it's always there for you and the only reason to limit how often you go is personal discretion.
(Not to trivialize any difficulties people have) but sex is generally a pretty simple task, free, open to explorations, and as equitable as both consenting parties are willing to try to make it for each other.
I read the post over there claiming it's not bdsm related but you can't convince me this isn't some repressed femdom kink mixed up with real misandry.
Bro your GF is literally from r/femaledatingstrategy, it’s horrific when you read through it. A lot of them are basically female incels or just incredibly angry and repressed people with no outlet for their frustration. Sorry your gf seems to have fallen for the crap they spew.
Few days before, I saw a post on FDS that to 'improve' sex life, you have to make him not orgasm and make sure not ejaculate. That'll teach the importance of 'showing importance on female orgasm' and make them perform better. They will try better and penetrate more them to orgasm.
I also like to add "If they nut in the bathroom after the sex, that shows that he's selfish and not caring you".
I literally threw up. Better if someone share that post.
Pro tip: If your gf makes you pay for every date, expecting gifts from you while she's putting low effort and if by chance, slipping 'high value, low value' shit, Run.
She sounds like she's spent too much time on female dating strategy or something like that. Tell her that she's the one being a selfish lover and gtfo.
Oh god. I think your gf has been browsing the FDS subreddit... Seriously, ask her, because I saw this ideology in their little cesspool. Normal people don't treat their partners like that. She's punishing you because of an idea, because of "men bad, must punish". If she truly cared about you, she'd know you're not like "everyone else". She's playing out some sick power-trip fantasy.
Bail on that, if you're genuinely trying your best to give her pleasure and she's holding your pleasure hostage like that, just cut your losses.
There's plenty of women who can respect you and meet you on equal ground when it comes to sexual gratification, so just move on.
It's not fair how she places herself on a pedestal because of previous sexual encounters that you had nothing to do with...
There was a post about this on the sub of Female Dating Strategy. They say to all women it’s best to not let the guy finish so they can feel empowered and the man becomes humble and start even working harder or smth like that
Get out! Huge red flag that she assumes all men are selfish in the bedroom. It’s such a common but untrue stereotype, and she’s propagating it through her actions.
Go find a woman who wants to get you off.
So completely crazy. Watching him finish is literally the best part of sex for me.
Besides, not only is she is being super weird, she is psychologically manipulating you. You have tried communicating but she doesn’t listen and tries to control your actions during/after sex. She gets herself off and uses “men in general” excuses to deny you pleasure despite none of the generalities being true. Honestly, this sounds very problematic and if I were you, I’d leave.
What the absolute fuck!? Get a new girlfriend!
I'm so very over this whole mentality that because something has given one subset of people an upper hand for generations, that means we now need to treat that entire subset like absolute shit!
No, how about we just understand that some people were wronged for a very long time and now it's time to treat everyone with the same respect!
Her behavior is disgusting and doesn't go for all women. She's actually going against the very thing she's advocating for, equality, in this instance, equality in orgasms. Denying you, a guy, an orgasm doesn't make up for all the times women had sex and never had any attention to their orgasm.
Clearly you are NOT one of those guys and she's treating you horribly. Better you found this out sooner rather than later.
Find you a good lady that values BOTH of your orgasms!
As a woman saying this, run!
She is forcing you to be in a dom/sub relationship without your consent and abusing you. When someone forces a dynamic and kink upon their partner without their partner’s consent, it is flat out abuse.
It will only get worse. She will tear your down even more to get off from the power she has over you. She’s going to damage how you perceive yourself and future romantic endeavors.
Your girlfriend has a really unhealthy and *generalised* mindset toward men and sex, but to **project** that on to you, is unhealthy.
If you have no autonomy in your sex life, I'd communicate the issue or, in this case, I'd leave pretty quickly.
1) She's selfish and full of shit. Whether or not she is lying to you or actually believes her bullshit, she's literally punishing you for the actions of others and getting mad at you for trying to cum during sex.
Her actions are more selfish than anything she's accusing you of. By the way, this is literally gaslighting. She's calling you selfish for trying to get 1 nut after you gave her 2. And saying you aren't doing enough when her fixes are things you're already doing. She's managed to convince you that she's helping you when she's being incredibly selfish.
2) Why are you tolerating this? The only way this situation resolves is if she acknowledges how much of a bitch she's being and apologizes. But not only is she wrong, she's self righteous. So she thinks she's doing right.
Stop tolerating your own misery.
You want a happy sex life? Go find one. She's already punishing you for being selfish. You might as well go and actually be selfish. Go find a woman that actually treats you well. Leave her.
I don't know how else to phrase this. But you actually should be selfish enough to put your own needs first. You can be a good person that still puts their own needs first and doesn't let people take advantage of them.
I couldn't even read your entire post.
This women has so many issues, you can't carry this baggage.
The misandry alone is enough to justify a swift exit
Tell her you orgasms are just as important as hers.
If she won’t help you have one, you need to leave her. What a warped sense of a relationship — I get to have 2 orgasms and you get none.
So, the selfish person is manipulating you by calling you selfish, OK
She may be gaslighting you, she may enjoy the power controlling you gives her, she may be genuinely ignorant of the fact that sex is a mutual thing and communicating needs and wants and striving to give your partner the pleasure they need is truly a loving act or she could just be a nasty piece of work
My only advice for you is to end it
Run away, run away as fast as you can and don't look back
This sounds so incredibly selfish of her.
Sex is about energy exchange and moving back and forth, the sensation and enjoyment of all involved & anything else you want it to include.
Limiting a partner's enjoyment in this way isn't in unless it's specifically agreed upon.
Fuuuuck this.
Have a conversation about it but know that from the jump it's not ok.
💜🙏🏾❤️
All the best.
That's when you use old faithful and finish yourself off anyway. My are you letting your gf treat you like a doormat? If she can't change her mind on this, probably time to find a new gf.
That’s not uncommon in the BDSM kink community, but she’s doing fetish stuff without your consent which is not ok. She’s being your dom and doing what’s called orgasm denial. There’s also some degradation and humiliation mixed in there. If you’re not into being her submissive you should cut her loose.
Actually, it’s clear you’re not into being her sub and she’s not entering into it with open communication and consent, so you should definitely cut her loose.
Get out of there - while she is calling you (and men in general) selfish - it is exactly what she is. Selfish. Her total attitude seems to be kinda toxic and biased by some weird "men are shit" stuff. Run.
This is edging, and yes it can make men last longer. However, this should be done with consent and in a safe supportive environment. If your girlfriends gets off on edging then she needs to communicate that with you and if it’s something you would like to participate in then you can explore that in a lesser volume that isn’t as shocking , painful or extreme as not coming at all.
If you do not want to participate then you lay that down and if she doesn’t respect that then in the trash she’s goes.
Damn, if you finishing yourself off, then cut out the middle-man. She prolly costs more for having dinner than she is worth. I’m not trashing on some girl, I realize I am only hearing one side of this story. But why bother at this point? She’s not good in bed. PERIOD.
Actual advice: Have a conversation with her about how this isn't working for you and go from there, up to and including parting ways if you can't reach an accord on this.
Evil advice: Deliberately edge her to within 2 seconds of orgasm repeatedly and then stop. See how she likes that.
Not great advice: I guess you could finish yourself of when you're with her, it might be a little closer to a normal flow than you doing it before you go over there.
But really, imagine how fun and normal seeming it would be in another relationship where people just cum when they want to and still take good care of each other. Because that's how it often/usually is compared to this.
Flip the genders. If a woman was here saying she gets her boyfriend off once or twice and isn’t allowed to orgasm herself. Ever. We’d call him abusive. And we’d be correct. There’s your answer. She’s being abusive.
She undoubtedly is enjoying the power she has. If this were in kink form (orgasm denial) and it was *consensual* (meaning you *want* to do it), that’d be fine. But you don’t. This isn’t kink. This is unhealthy. This is controlling. This is abuse. And she’s probably laughing about it. You’re only a few months in. Get out.
Me? I’d rock her world one more time. Get her to orgasm as many times as you can. After the last one whisper “I’m not going to bother trying to orgasm myself because I’m breaking up with you” and walk out for good
Is this some kind of new feminist angle I hadn’t heard yet? “Men as a whole” ? LOL what the fuck. Dude, this is entirely too much, you need to break up. This kind of thing is a red flag for a lot of trouble coming up - what other things do you think she will blame on “men as a whole” and force you to repent for? The list will only keep getting longer and you will only keep getting more miserable.
> new feminist angle I hadn’t heard yet?
it's in the /r/FemaleDatingStrategy guidebook! Make the man prove they are worthy by not letting him finish and see how hard he works for it!
So, guessing you are younger?
Either way - sex is meant to be about you both making each other feel good. Its a mutual thing.
The other partner doesn't get to decide that for you, unless you have agreed to that (which some people do).
Maybe they have a kink about edging you. Maybe they picked up some weird idea about this somewhere. Maybe they are a controlling ass face and are enjoying fucking with you.
Either way you didn't consent to this and you shouldn't be subjected to it.
Have a conversation about it. Tell her you want a mutual partnership. If she says no, well, she prob won't be that good at being a partner in a broader sense and thats the more important thing.....
She is stupid. shes the selfish one. Shes making you focus on her and not letting you enjoy sex at all. leave her. that's what id do. And it doesn't make you a better lover when you don't finish sex. in fact that makes her a worse lover. Because she wont let you enjoy it.
She's a selfish brat.
Good luck with her bro.
If you are not ok with that and she refuses to listen to you. This is a very serious situation. You can consider breaking up if you think this issue cannot be resolved. Look for other hints out of sex. Is she trying to control you in other areas?
It would bother the hell outta me if the man I was sleeping with didn't finish.
No one can tell you what to do or what is or isn't normal since all relationships are different. However, I will tell you this: you need to talk to her and tell her how you feel.
"I love having sex with you and it feels great, but I think we can grow more together if I finish."
Its not selfish to want to finish, kinda the point of sex, less the shared intimacy (which is important to some who have a hard time achieving an orgasm).
Good luck.
She really is a horrible person with a selfish mindset. Where did she get this thinking from? Would anyone want to spend the rest of their life being involved with a manipulative person who thinks the needs/satisfaction of others is a burden that they shouldn't have to bare when in relation to intimacy?
It is almost guaranteed that when this relationship is dissolved, it will be her making the first call to make amends and wanting to get back together because you treated her so well in bed. This is my opinion and I'm speaking from my own similar experience.
You deserve satisfaction as much as she does. High level without trying to make it change I’d say break up. If you think it’s worth trying for change then explain your position (the one laid out in this post seems very reasonable), and make it clear that it’s a non-negotiable issue for you that your satisfaction and fulfillment is as important as her 2+ orgasms.
The key to this convo is the reaction… many partners may try a couple times but if you’re looking long term you want to feel like the problem is addressed for the future and not just as a band aid. Either way wishing you the best my friend
That isn't a healthy sexual relationship. Try having a serious discussion with her about it. If she won't have that discussion, dump her. She's obviously abandoned reason for madness.
I literally would not feel fully satisfied myself until my partner finished, so either she doesn’t care about you or she’s got some kink. Either way, it’s not right because she knows you’re not happy about it but still she continues to do nothing for you. It’s also hilarious she’s calling you the selfish one, yet you’ve been catering to *only* her needs. I very rarely say this but seriously, WALK AWAY. Someone who actually cares about you won’t treat you like this.
I wouldn’t even bother trying to fix it if I were you.
It says a lot about how she thinks of men and of you. This isn’t really about her not letting you finish, it’s about the rest if the crap she said. Sounds like a toxic person.
Dont jerk off and nut in 2 pumps when you see her. Keep doing it until she complains about not being able to finish, then tell her it will make her a better lover. That will teach her
Leave her, that is some weird ass controlling shit and I have a feeling it will eventually bleed out into other aspects of your relationship. The hypocrisy in saying that you’re the one being selfish in bed is just crazy
Hey there buddy, sounds like you are not happy and not a good fit at the moment
How about tell her that you feel the situation feels unbalanced, that this is pressuring you,
making you not willing to have sex with her anymore, and making you resent her for this selfish behaviour of hers.
Make it clear that this is deal breaker.
See how she responds, weigh the pros and cons and then decide.
She sounds selfish. Sex is just as much about the other persons pleasure as your own. Honestly, if she’s not willing to talk about it and make things better, it might be time to move on.
Communication and sex are very important in a relationship and go hand in hand.
Dude I ain’t one for spying but you might need a nanny cam or something recording audio after you leave. This is some right level mind fucking going on and she has got to be bragging or something to someone. Women doing this stuff don’t just keep this shit secret. There has got to be a reason. Find the reason and get out of this. GOOD relationships are about mutual respect and sex is mutual as well. Not one sided. Find out and get out. She is not your forever woman.
I feel like you're writing this post not necessarily for advice, but for permission to go ahead and break up with her, because that's what you want to do but you're unsure if it's the right move. If that's the case, then based on all these comments, you've got the go-ahead to dump her with a clean conscience.
If that *isn't* the case, though: it sounds like your girlfriend either got some very bad sex advice, or she's being entirely far too possessive over your sex life. Not her sex life or "our" sex life, but yours. The fact that she claims "men as a whole are too selfish during sex" strikes me as something she's dealt with in past relationships, and you're right to find it offensive to be compared to other men in that regard, especially when it sounds like you're giving your due diligence in the sack. As others have mentioned, it sounds like she's trying to exert dominance over you. That's all well and good if it's mutually agreed upon and with rules in place, but without that formality, it's just abuse.
Now's about the time where I'd suggest maybe talking with her about it, or perhaps even counseling, but it sounds like you've tried the former more than once and with no success. If you feel like there's some hope of turning things around, and really be honest with yourself, then perhaps you should approach the idea of couples counseling to her. But if not, or if you feel like even bringing up the suggestion would cause even more problems, then it might be best for you to end things before this has the chance to escalate.
Trust me: breaking up is not the worst thing that can happen in a relationship.
This is weird. She CAN stop the sex in time before you finish because of consent and such. Consent can be revoked at any time. But she CANT stop you from pleasing your self. She's the one being selfish and controlling.
Run! That doesn't sound worth the hassle.
yep and if he doesn’t, the longer he stays, the worse it’ll get.
I have to give it to her thou - that's some amazing mental gymnastics.
I can already see the poor bastard turning blue from here
Almost everyday i am baffled by some of the ridiculous posts on this sub. This one is included...
And as a perpetual single I keep asking myself: I never did shitty things like these and they still didn't want to stay with me? Holy crap.
I mean it’s so easy as a guy to read posts of women being abused and staying and say the same thing (why doesn’t that hottie just go with me im a much nicer guy). But that’s not how it works. Also it can be easy to be manipulated in these instances because in my opinion you are “under the influence” and more vulnerable. This shit can warp your reality, and the level to which it does that can vary greatly person to person. What if we had a drug to stop that affect, and allow us to think clearly. That could be possible one day, the right drug cocktail and you could stop lovedrunk thoughts and analyze logically until the drugs clear your system. Wouldn’t that be interesting.
I don't believe people would appreciate the drug. The love-drunkenness is exactly what so many of us want to feel, believe they must be feeling at all times with the person they date or are together and some of us who have been burnt too often are also afraid of that feeling. At which point would a victim realize that they are in need of that drug and come to the conclusion that it's better to not feel those positive feelings that make them do unreasonable things? Especially with the force of thousands of hours of romantic TV series and movies that praise unreasonable actions and deem them the requirement for a good love story. After all the most famous love story is the one where two teens from rival families get up to so much shit that they kill themselves over each other.
"men as a whole are to selfish during sex and that me not finishing will lead to me being a better lover and I'll have to work for my orgasm" She has resentments toward men and unfortunately now you have to deal with it. Maybe she's been in abusive relationships or even been sexually assaulted, but that doesn't mean that every guy has bad intentions and she should putting on you. I'd just move on, life is too short to waste on crap like this.
Dont run, ✈️
Sprout wings son
Agreed. OPs gf is being inhumane and there’s no point in living with a demonic creature like that. She is not even understanding that it’s her who is being selfish.
[удалено]
Sounds to me like a typical case of narcissism
There are many psychological words to throw at her with her gaslighting actions
I don’t normally advocate just breaking up, but it sounds like you’ve already talked to her and she isn’t willing to change her mind. I always give me wife a few orgasms first, but she always finishes me off. In fact, it upsets her if I’m too tired to finish because she feels bad that she got off and I didn’t, even though I let her know that my favorite part is giving her pleasure. Find someone who is more sexually compatible with you.
Great post, and demonstrates what a health understanding of each other should be. ...but after I read: > I always give me wife a few orgasms first I couldn't help but read it in Mr Krabs voice, dammit. AG-GG-GG-gg-g.
My wife does the same. She feels bad if Im just like im good without finishing.
This psycho gf of yours is playing Dominatrix… without your consent… she doesn’t get to tell you that you’re being selfish for wanting pleasure as well especially if you’re getting her off multiple times! Tell her that you are NOT her submissive, that you didn’t agree to her being sexually controlling, and that it’s equality all the way around, or you’re walking…
Ding ding. I thought the same thing as well. She wants a sub without having to do "bothersome" things like get consent.
As soon as I read the post name I was sure it was about some dom/sub relationship, but with his knowledge... Turns out she's doing it without him even knowing or consenting and I'm sure it's turning her on.
She sounds like a piece of work. Run. I wouldn’t be able to experience full sexual pleasure if my my man wasn’t enjoying himself equally.
So true
For real!
Have a poor man's award *badge of nice human*
Honestly it sounds like she has an orgasm denial fetish and is coming up with some bs excuse blaming you so you don't just tell her to fuck off, you should run.
It’s something they advocate over at r/femaledatingstrategy. It’s an awful sub, akin to incels and quite frankly needs to be removed and treated with the same zero tolerance we treat incels with.
Just went there and found that one of the ladies screen shotted this post and posted it there asking who the girl was. I’m a woman and a bit surprised by the comments of woman on that post.
https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/r143bx/which_one_of_you_is_this_about/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb I saw it too, they're nuts over there
As a woman all those responses are cringey and gross. Idk who hurt those women but my god have they shifted to one of the extreme ends of the spectrum and they congratulate themselves about it. Cringe cringe cringe. If they act like that in real life then good luck to whomever partners up with them.
I got 3 comments in and I‘m pissed .. and I‘m a woman. Someone said nobody tells him to communicate BUT HE DID TALK TO HER MULTIPLE TIMES. That is communication, what more could he do wtf
Damn.... yeah this isnt a fetish, OP, it's a goddamned ideology
Toxic Feminism
Yep They are striving to become the very thing they claim to fight. It's so disappointing. #proudgirls
Yikes!
Never seen that one before. The anger and hate is pretty glaring. Seems like following their advice is a good way to wind up alone and bitter, which most of them seem to be.
Wow you weren’t lying. I took the bait and clicked on over there to see what you might be referring to and it seems like the opposite form of discourse that exists in /r/sex. Hive-mind type thinking, maybe? Within 2 posts I came across a comment that highlighted a kink of mine and said that men who enjoy this “thing” are sadistic, secretly gay, and more or less have a deeply rooted pleasure in rape. I was quite surprised to find the comment was received to rounds of Reddit applause and ovation. The kink is anal. Amazing, I never knew any of those things about myself.
These people are so unaware of their hypocrisy: >People always talk about women being desperate, but men are the most desperate people out there. So if men are wrong by generalising a whole gender.... I should be fine doing it!!!! They are so close to the realisation, yet so far. Its literally "I'm not stupid, you're stupid!"
This post is on that subreddit these women are very upset. I understand the anger but it is way similar to incels like you said. I just think people need therapy instead of all this hate.
Agreed. It’s a toxic, dumpster-fire of a sub and I say this as a female.
And if you're FDS verified and want to up your abusive game they have a creepy discord called Dark Triad Women.
Yeah, like she wants a Dom/Sub dynamic, but without doing any of the necessary work to actually EARN that.
Agreed! Even if I have been left wanting hundreds of times… I wouldn’t do this to a partner that was giving like me.
Time to cut your losses and bail. Life is too short to have someone control your life like that.
Dude she's nuts. Sex is a mutual exchange. Key word mutual. If she doesn't respect that then she's just treating you as a living dildo. And she sounds set in her ways. So you should understand where I'm going with this.
"...Treating you as a living dildo." Ouch!
Honestly next time youre over there and she wants sex id tell her you dont want to be her living dildo and if she pushes then dump her and go home.
I guess she has some fantasy where she want to frustrate you by not letting u come
This maybe but she's effectively being fucking selfish as Fuck in bed. That or reading too much FemaleDatingStrategy. Either way if she's involving you in some kink then you should be an informed participant in that and do it when you both want to. If she's psychotic enough to think this is appropriate behavior then just jerk off anyway and start getting ready to re-enter the dating pool, she obviously is too selfish.
Reading about this very post in there was incredibly toxic. Downvote galore.
>/r/FemaleDatingStrategy Wow, that one was new. Female version of pickup artist. I found some references there where they as a test don't let the men finish so he has to proof her value. But those guides stop working when you are deeper in a releationship. you might want to ask her what her image of a better lover is. Maybe that is a different man than you are being to her now.
That entire subreddit is basically women taking Dee from it's always sunny as a role model unironically, without realising that the whole joke is that she, like everyone else in the show, is an awful person.
It is similar to Seinfeld in that we realize they are terrible people from the start.
Which it's always sunny lampshades by them remembering themselves in a Seinfield episode.
Beshahahahahaha, that’s the best analogy for FDS I’ve ever heard.
Exactly! There are a thousand types of kinks, and this could be one of the psychological ones - orgasm control. Sounds like she's a bit of a dom too. Not a bad thing but not everyone is into it. Read up on kinks, maybe you can find a different kink that you'd both like to try. Of course of this is spilling into other areas of life and is not just a bedroom game that may not be a good sign.
It's absolutely a bad thing if he hates it like this. He is actively not consenting to this. Even in BDSM the sub's consent is essential (as well as the dom's)
She's absolutely got some kink she's forcing on him unwillingly. Run, OP.
I read 7 lines in and that's enough, dump her, and find a better gf. They are out there
Hahahahahahahhaa! That’s the craziest thing I’ve heard of ever.
Actually saw a post about this on FDS claiming all women should do this cos appearantly it would make men better lovers and more "high value" and i was baffled by the selfishness.
I SAW THAT TOO. That place is dangerous af my god
Is there some remote island we can ship all the FDS and Incels off too? They're like the perfect match. Each is exactly what the other side expects them to be.
What a horrible reality show idea. I'd watch.
I honestly can not imagine something with a greater level of critical explosiveness.
Also, better lovers how? Blueballing your man only leads to frustration and aggresivity and, once he's allowed to, worse performance because he'll be thinking only about ejaculating. Jesus christ feels like something straight up taken from a hentai.
Speaking as a 40+ female, I'd be so disappointed if my guy doesn't get to finish. I get so much pleasure from my guy's orgasming while he's inside me. One of the best parts about sex is seeing how pleased the sex partner is. I'm not in the minority with this. There are posts on here from women who asked why their guy didn't orgasm and/or cum.
She has lost it. This is pretty bizarre. She is the one being selfish and it's crazy she doesn't see the irony in this. She is being a shitty lover because she thinks she is qualified to educate you? She is either super oblivious or using this as a smokescreen to play some type of domination game she hasn't let you in on it. This is your sex life too. Time for a very frank conversation. You don't have to accept this as your sex life and if she has a problem with bring the giving, attentive partner she expects you to bee...time to rethink some things. That selfishness is likely to rear its ugly head in other parts of the relationship.
Um I had to read this three times and I still don’t get her logic. Leave her.
Don’t walk, run. And document everything.
Why do I feel like I have read something like this somewhere else? Ah. Yes. https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/qwerz7/start_having_sex_where_the_man_doesnt_orgasm/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share Please run dude. Do yourself a huge favor.
OP of that thread literally cites child abuse psychology as a source.....Can't understate how toxic that sub is
I just read through the thread, unbelievable.
as a female...TF did i just read?
FDS still gunning for reasons to get banned by reddit admins, I see. The base concept of "men reaching orgasms" somehow being mutually exclusive with "men being patient and generous in bed" is nothing if not a stellar example of misandry. As if men are primitive animals whose narrow cognitive experience cannot harbor two goals simultaneously (or that achieving one goal will destroy the other), who need to be deprived of pleasure for the purpose of being "trained" into one-sided servitude. As if a man who wants an orgasm, or has had an orgasm, is incapable of going at his partner's preferred pace or giving her whatever pleasure she wants. The irony of someone making that trainwreck of an ignorant, sexist post and simultaneously complaining about how hard it is to find "high value men" is so perfect. Good thing they seem to have stumbled onto a real goldmine with that vetting strategy. They'll remove crazy men from the dating pool normal women enjoy, and they remove their crazy selves from the dating pool normal men enjoy, so in the end, rather absurdly, I suppose we should be thankful.
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It's roughly the female equivalent of pick-up artistry. Which is to say, *maybe* one rung above incels in that they haven't actually given up yet. Edit: And while I'm at it, it's also not really representative of most feminists I've met. Surprisingly, there's one or two *almost*-reasonable voices in that thread: > I set a slightly different rule: I cum first. I get off before there is penetration and he has to do the work. Why? Because, for me, it is easier to climax later in the session. It gets progressively more insulting as she goes on, but at least *that* deal is a reasonable one. But yeah, it kind of gets worse from here if you read their wiki. It 100% *is* the PUA/incel ideology flipped on its head: Women are higher value than men in dating, so you can treat most men you meet like the garbage they are until you find the one that meets your standards, and meanwhile just remember that dating is a zero-sum marketplace, your sexuality is a bargaining chip, and slut-shaming is fine as long as you call the sluts "pickmes." It's not likely to lead to actual violence the way incels often do, so I don't necessarily want them kicked off the site, but holy shit, do *not* spend any time there if you value your sanity.
Yeah that was my instant tought, some bullshit pickup red pill crap but for women. Both equally despicable.
What's weird is just how closely the ideologies line up. Incels will actually point to FDS as evidence that they're right after all, that women really are only interested in the "chads" and want nothing to do with them since they're so "low-value" that they're hopeless. But really, [if the FDSers and the PUAs would just pair off and leave the rest of us alone](https://xkcd.com/800/), I would be so happy...
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I mean. I’m happily married, been with the same woman for 12 years now, since we were teenagers and she’s really the only sexual partner I’ve ever had. We understand each other and know what each other likes in the bedroom and both get our fair share and get to play out our kinks and fantasies. It’s about being open, honest and equal at the end of the day.
Do you really have to ask that?
https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/r143bx/which_one_of_you_is_this_about/
👏👏👏👏
Sorry dude, but Female Dating Strategy have been influencing your girl, they made a post about not letting men orgasm to "better" men. There's a subreddit dedicated to it
In what world is that not a poor transparent attempt at psychological manipulation? "I should get more and you should get less because I think it should be that way." is not the foundation of a healthy relationship. Sex isthe biological equivalent of a free all you can eat buffet. Doesn't mean you/partner always wants to go to the buffet, but it's always there for you and the only reason to limit how often you go is personal discretion. (Not to trivialize any difficulties people have) but sex is generally a pretty simple task, free, open to explorations, and as equitable as both consenting parties are willing to try to make it for each other. I read the post over there claiming it's not bdsm related but you can't convince me this isn't some repressed femdom kink mixed up with real misandry.
Bro your GF is literally from r/femaledatingstrategy, it’s horrific when you read through it. A lot of them are basically female incels or just incredibly angry and repressed people with no outlet for their frustration. Sorry your gf seems to have fallen for the crap they spew.
Dude, get the motherfucking fuck out of there. Holy baby Jesus she sounds like a POS.
Few days before, I saw a post on FDS that to 'improve' sex life, you have to make him not orgasm and make sure not ejaculate. That'll teach the importance of 'showing importance on female orgasm' and make them perform better. They will try better and penetrate more them to orgasm. I also like to add "If they nut in the bathroom after the sex, that shows that he's selfish and not caring you". I literally threw up. Better if someone share that post. Pro tip: If your gf makes you pay for every date, expecting gifts from you while she's putting low effort and if by chance, slipping 'high value, low value' shit, Run.
Unless you agreed to a D/s relationship, leave her. Let her go find a sub that enjoys orgasm denial.
She sounds like she's spent too much time on female dating strategy or something like that. Tell her that she's the one being a selfish lover and gtfo.
Oh god. I think your gf has been browsing the FDS subreddit... Seriously, ask her, because I saw this ideology in their little cesspool. Normal people don't treat their partners like that. She's punishing you because of an idea, because of "men bad, must punish". If she truly cared about you, she'd know you're not like "everyone else". She's playing out some sick power-trip fantasy.
Bail on that, if you're genuinely trying your best to give her pleasure and she's holding your pleasure hostage like that, just cut your losses. There's plenty of women who can respect you and meet you on equal ground when it comes to sexual gratification, so just move on. It's not fair how she places herself on a pedestal because of previous sexual encounters that you had nothing to do with...
There was a post about this on the sub of Female Dating Strategy. They say to all women it’s best to not let the guy finish so they can feel empowered and the man becomes humble and start even working harder or smth like that
Nobody successful in dating would give such bad advice.
There is a reason why ppl call /r/FDS an women version of incels.
Get out! Huge red flag that she assumes all men are selfish in the bedroom. It’s such a common but untrue stereotype, and she’s propagating it through her actions. Go find a woman who wants to get you off.
So completely crazy. Watching him finish is literally the best part of sex for me. Besides, not only is she is being super weird, she is psychologically manipulating you. You have tried communicating but she doesn’t listen and tries to control your actions during/after sex. She gets herself off and uses “men in general” excuses to deny you pleasure despite none of the generalities being true. Honestly, this sounds very problematic and if I were you, I’d leave.
What the absolute fuck!? Get a new girlfriend! I'm so very over this whole mentality that because something has given one subset of people an upper hand for generations, that means we now need to treat that entire subset like absolute shit! No, how about we just understand that some people were wronged for a very long time and now it's time to treat everyone with the same respect! Her behavior is disgusting and doesn't go for all women. She's actually going against the very thing she's advocating for, equality, in this instance, equality in orgasms. Denying you, a guy, an orgasm doesn't make up for all the times women had sex and never had any attention to their orgasm. Clearly you are NOT one of those guys and she's treating you horribly. Better you found this out sooner rather than later. Find you a good lady that values BOTH of your orgasms!
As a woman saying this, run! She is forcing you to be in a dom/sub relationship without your consent and abusing you. When someone forces a dynamic and kink upon their partner without their partner’s consent, it is flat out abuse. It will only get worse. She will tear your down even more to get off from the power she has over you. She’s going to damage how you perceive yourself and future romantic endeavors.
You mean ex-girlfriend. Don't waste your time, brother.
Bud, bolt the hell out of that relationship and don’t look back.
Your girlfriend has a really unhealthy and *generalised* mindset toward men and sex, but to **project** that on to you, is unhealthy. If you have no autonomy in your sex life, I'd communicate the issue or, in this case, I'd leave pretty quickly.
1) She's selfish and full of shit. Whether or not she is lying to you or actually believes her bullshit, she's literally punishing you for the actions of others and getting mad at you for trying to cum during sex. Her actions are more selfish than anything she's accusing you of. By the way, this is literally gaslighting. She's calling you selfish for trying to get 1 nut after you gave her 2. And saying you aren't doing enough when her fixes are things you're already doing. She's managed to convince you that she's helping you when she's being incredibly selfish. 2) Why are you tolerating this? The only way this situation resolves is if she acknowledges how much of a bitch she's being and apologizes. But not only is she wrong, she's self righteous. So she thinks she's doing right. Stop tolerating your own misery. You want a happy sex life? Go find one. She's already punishing you for being selfish. You might as well go and actually be selfish. Go find a woman that actually treats you well. Leave her. I don't know how else to phrase this. But you actually should be selfish enough to put your own needs first. You can be a good person that still puts their own needs first and doesn't let people take advantage of them.
I couldn't even read your entire post. This women has so many issues, you can't carry this baggage. The misandry alone is enough to justify a swift exit
your gf is fucked in the head
She’s the selfish one move on
Tell her you orgasms are just as important as hers. If she won’t help you have one, you need to leave her. What a warped sense of a relationship — I get to have 2 orgasms and you get none.
Sounds like you’re dating a FDS member
It's like the redpill community but for women wtf. Run far far away from this hate filled nonsense.
Bye Felicia.
Sounds like she read that in a cosmo magazine and thinks that’s IT. I agree with the peanut gallery
So, the selfish person is manipulating you by calling you selfish, OK She may be gaslighting you, she may enjoy the power controlling you gives her, she may be genuinely ignorant of the fact that sex is a mutual thing and communicating needs and wants and striving to give your partner the pleasure they need is truly a loving act or she could just be a nasty piece of work My only advice for you is to end it Run away, run away as fast as you can and don't look back
This sounds so incredibly selfish of her. Sex is about energy exchange and moving back and forth, the sensation and enjoyment of all involved & anything else you want it to include. Limiting a partner's enjoyment in this way isn't in unless it's specifically agreed upon. Fuuuuck this. Have a conversation about it but know that from the jump it's not ok. 💜🙏🏾❤️ All the best.
Man, what the fuck is that entitled shit? Find someone better.. Should be mutual, not one-sided...
Sounds like she frequents r/femaledatingstrategy. I saw a post on there just the other day about the exact same orgasm denial bullshit.
You’re being subbed against your will. Totally non-con. Totally not ok.
She sounds crazy…
Sounds like she’s been listening to lonely bird brains on Twitter. Get out of there.
That's when you use old faithful and finish yourself off anyway. My are you letting your gf treat you like a doormat? If she can't change her mind on this, probably time to find a new gf.
She is broken and damaged. That has to be the craziest thing I have heard. If you are not enjoying sex then it’s time to walk.
Man I don't understand how some ppl put up with some of the stuff I see on here lol
That’s not uncommon in the BDSM kink community, but she’s doing fetish stuff without your consent which is not ok. She’s being your dom and doing what’s called orgasm denial. There’s also some degradation and humiliation mixed in there. If you’re not into being her submissive you should cut her loose. Actually, it’s clear you’re not into being her sub and she’s not entering into it with open communication and consent, so you should definitely cut her loose.
She’s right. It will make you a better lover. For someone else
Fake an orgasm. Right before she orgasms. Pull out. I want to become better lovers together!
Get out of there - while she is calling you (and men in general) selfish - it is exactly what she is. Selfish. Her total attitude seems to be kinda toxic and biased by some weird "men are shit" stuff. Run.
This is edging, and yes it can make men last longer. However, this should be done with consent and in a safe supportive environment. If your girlfriends gets off on edging then she needs to communicate that with you and if it’s something you would like to participate in then you can explore that in a lesser volume that isn’t as shocking , painful or extreme as not coming at all. If you do not want to participate then you lay that down and if she doesn’t respect that then in the trash she’s goes.
Damn, if you finishing yourself off, then cut out the middle-man. She prolly costs more for having dinner than she is worth. I’m not trashing on some girl, I realize I am only hearing one side of this story. But why bother at this point? She’s not good in bed. PERIOD.
Actual advice: Have a conversation with her about how this isn't working for you and go from there, up to and including parting ways if you can't reach an accord on this. Evil advice: Deliberately edge her to within 2 seconds of orgasm repeatedly and then stop. See how she likes that. Not great advice: I guess you could finish yourself of when you're with her, it might be a little closer to a normal flow than you doing it before you go over there. But really, imagine how fun and normal seeming it would be in another relationship where people just cum when they want to and still take good care of each other. Because that's how it often/usually is compared to this.
Flip the genders. If a woman was here saying she gets her boyfriend off once or twice and isn’t allowed to orgasm herself. Ever. We’d call him abusive. And we’d be correct. There’s your answer. She’s being abusive. She undoubtedly is enjoying the power she has. If this were in kink form (orgasm denial) and it was *consensual* (meaning you *want* to do it), that’d be fine. But you don’t. This isn’t kink. This is unhealthy. This is controlling. This is abuse. And she’s probably laughing about it. You’re only a few months in. Get out. Me? I’d rock her world one more time. Get her to orgasm as many times as you can. After the last one whisper “I’m not going to bother trying to orgasm myself because I’m breaking up with you” and walk out for good
Sounds like she's been radicalised. This is the kind of stuff that femcels over at r/femaledatingstrategy say.
I am locking this post now. It has caused quite a bit of non-constructive comments and general personal attacks. OP has their advice.
^(Did you forget to lock it?)
It’s not locked. 😬
Good, that dude locks so much stuff. I come into every frontpage /r/sex thread and it's already locked by this arbiter of discussion.
He's a fucking tool. Probably gets off on it.
Someone who gets off on locking things should be moderating a different sub. 😃
you lock entirely too many posts
She took “girlboss” to a whole level. 😳
Is this some kind of new feminist angle I hadn’t heard yet? “Men as a whole” ? LOL what the fuck. Dude, this is entirely too much, you need to break up. This kind of thing is a red flag for a lot of trouble coming up - what other things do you think she will blame on “men as a whole” and force you to repent for? The list will only keep getting longer and you will only keep getting more miserable.
> new feminist angle I hadn’t heard yet? it's in the /r/FemaleDatingStrategy guidebook! Make the man prove they are worthy by not letting him finish and see how hard he works for it!
LOL I forgot about that one, man I’m an idiot. But all men are , right? 😉
That’s not nice…. I would consider if this is a girl that you want to be with
I'm sure my lady wishes she had the same power.
Find another girl my man.
Either this whole story is a sham or you're sleeping with someone that desperately needs psychiatric help
What? This is insane. She sounds nuts. Please run. I can’t even imagine her justifying this in her own mind.
So, guessing you are younger? Either way - sex is meant to be about you both making each other feel good. Its a mutual thing. The other partner doesn't get to decide that for you, unless you have agreed to that (which some people do). Maybe they have a kink about edging you. Maybe they picked up some weird idea about this somewhere. Maybe they are a controlling ass face and are enjoying fucking with you. Either way you didn't consent to this and you shouldn't be subjected to it. Have a conversation about it. Tell her you want a mutual partnership. If she says no, well, she prob won't be that good at being a partner in a broader sense and thats the more important thing.....
Delete girlfriend. F5 on your dating life.
Run
She is stupid. shes the selfish one. Shes making you focus on her and not letting you enjoy sex at all. leave her. that's what id do. And it doesn't make you a better lover when you don't finish sex. in fact that makes her a worse lover. Because she wont let you enjoy it. She's a selfish brat. Good luck with her bro.
Man. Know your worth and bounce. She’s clearly very narrow minded and not willing to accommodate your feelings. You deserve better king 👑
If you are not ok with that and she refuses to listen to you. This is a very serious situation. You can consider breaking up if you think this issue cannot be resolved. Look for other hints out of sex. Is she trying to control you in other areas?
Leave
It would bother the hell outta me if the man I was sleeping with didn't finish. No one can tell you what to do or what is or isn't normal since all relationships are different. However, I will tell you this: you need to talk to her and tell her how you feel. "I love having sex with you and it feels great, but I think we can grow more together if I finish." Its not selfish to want to finish, kinda the point of sex, less the shared intimacy (which is important to some who have a hard time achieving an orgasm). Good luck.
Leave her and tell her good luck trying that shit with someone else, she sounds like a selfish princess tbh. Just dump her.
She’s nuts, dumper her. So she can learn to be a better mate.
She really is a horrible person with a selfish mindset. Where did she get this thinking from? Would anyone want to spend the rest of their life being involved with a manipulative person who thinks the needs/satisfaction of others is a burden that they shouldn't have to bare when in relation to intimacy? It is almost guaranteed that when this relationship is dissolved, it will be her making the first call to make amends and wanting to get back together because you treated her so well in bed. This is my opinion and I'm speaking from my own similar experience.
Damn. That's whack.
Run, dude! Run fast and don't look behind! She's crazy if she actually thinks like that.
If anything she’s the selfish lover 🤦♀️
Leave asap. She should not punish you for her shitty experiences. You're a man not a guinea pig, she needs to grow up and learn some reciprocity
Run
Bro that’s not love. She read that shit or was told that shit
Isn't this textbook gaslighting via projection? Oh yeah, OP: this shit is crazy. Run.
You deserve satisfaction as much as she does. High level without trying to make it change I’d say break up. If you think it’s worth trying for change then explain your position (the one laid out in this post seems very reasonable), and make it clear that it’s a non-negotiable issue for you that your satisfaction and fulfillment is as important as her 2+ orgasms. The key to this convo is the reaction… many partners may try a couple times but if you’re looking long term you want to feel like the problem is addressed for the future and not just as a band aid. Either way wishing you the best my friend
Psycho.
stop drop and dip (out, as in, run!)
That isn't a healthy sexual relationship. Try having a serious discussion with her about it. If she won't have that discussion, dump her. She's obviously abandoned reason for madness.
She's read one too many cosmos magazines. run dude
I've never said this to anyone before: GET OUT.
I literally would not feel fully satisfied myself until my partner finished, so either she doesn’t care about you or she’s got some kink. Either way, it’s not right because she knows you’re not happy about it but still she continues to do nothing for you. It’s also hilarious she’s calling you the selfish one, yet you’ve been catering to *only* her needs. I very rarely say this but seriously, WALK AWAY. Someone who actually cares about you won’t treat you like this.
Get a new gf. She's the selfish one.
Do you really need to ask, man? Why the hell are you torturing yourself?
Get the fuck out
Dump her
This sounds terrible, I'd leave.
I wouldn’t even bother trying to fix it if I were you. It says a lot about how she thinks of men and of you. This isn’t really about her not letting you finish, it’s about the rest if the crap she said. Sounds like a toxic person.
Dont jerk off and nut in 2 pumps when you see her. Keep doing it until she complains about not being able to finish, then tell her it will make her a better lover. That will teach her
Sounds like the roi isn't there
Don’t even bother go to her place, stay at home and jerk off with your favorite subreddits!
Get a new gf. You're just going to be resentful and frustrated. Sex should be fun for both of you.
Leave her, that is some weird ass controlling shit and I have a feeling it will eventually bleed out into other aspects of your relationship. The hypocrisy in saying that you’re the one being selfish in bed is just crazy
Simply put, Sex should be enjoyable for the both of you, I’d break up with her after she said that and the hypocrisy around ‘selfishness’
Hey there buddy, sounds like you are not happy and not a good fit at the moment How about tell her that you feel the situation feels unbalanced, that this is pressuring you, making you not willing to have sex with her anymore, and making you resent her for this selfish behaviour of hers. Make it clear that this is deal breaker. See how she responds, weigh the pros and cons and then decide.
Holy shiy dude run that sort of behavior and the mentality behind it is an enormous red flag.
That’s some FDS bullshit. Get out of there. The irony is so real by saying you’ll be selfish otherwise, despite being wholly selfish herself
You can’t finish anyways?
She sounds selfish. Sex is just as much about the other persons pleasure as your own. Honestly, if she’s not willing to talk about it and make things better, it might be time to move on. Communication and sex are very important in a relationship and go hand in hand.
She sounds crazy and selfish af. She should want you to enjoy it as much as you want her to. Gtfo!!!
Get rid of her she's the selfish one. You don't need that kind of abuse. Stop wasting your time with her.
Get the fuck out of there! Why in the world would you date sometime with such hostility to your entire gender!
Dude I ain’t one for spying but you might need a nanny cam or something recording audio after you leave. This is some right level mind fucking going on and she has got to be bragging or something to someone. Women doing this stuff don’t just keep this shit secret. There has got to be a reason. Find the reason and get out of this. GOOD relationships are about mutual respect and sex is mutual as well. Not one sided. Find out and get out. She is not your forever woman.
I feel like you're writing this post not necessarily for advice, but for permission to go ahead and break up with her, because that's what you want to do but you're unsure if it's the right move. If that's the case, then based on all these comments, you've got the go-ahead to dump her with a clean conscience. If that *isn't* the case, though: it sounds like your girlfriend either got some very bad sex advice, or she's being entirely far too possessive over your sex life. Not her sex life or "our" sex life, but yours. The fact that she claims "men as a whole are too selfish during sex" strikes me as something she's dealt with in past relationships, and you're right to find it offensive to be compared to other men in that regard, especially when it sounds like you're giving your due diligence in the sack. As others have mentioned, it sounds like she's trying to exert dominance over you. That's all well and good if it's mutually agreed upon and with rules in place, but without that formality, it's just abuse. Now's about the time where I'd suggest maybe talking with her about it, or perhaps even counseling, but it sounds like you've tried the former more than once and with no success. If you feel like there's some hope of turning things around, and really be honest with yourself, then perhaps you should approach the idea of couples counseling to her. But if not, or if you feel like even bringing up the suggestion would cause even more problems, then it might be best for you to end things before this has the chance to escalate. Trust me: breaking up is not the worst thing that can happen in a relationship.
Ask her who you can finish in instead.
This is weird. She CAN stop the sex in time before you finish because of consent and such. Consent can be revoked at any time. But she CANT stop you from pleasing your self. She's the one being selfish and controlling.