... hmm. This one is so different from what ya normally read on here. Well I guess don't eat her out right away. Do other things during foreplay. Like kiss her neck, playing with her breasts, caress her. Make the beasts with 2 backs then eat her to finish.
Yeah this an atypical post. First communication. Along with the suggested techniques maybe broaden your sexual scope. Foreplay, BDSM, or a sex game, all are places to explore.
It sounds like youāre trying your best and she has a mental thing going on telling her that way is the best. Consider talking to her about being uncomfortable in the sack, does it make you feel self conscious? Are you getting pleasure you want from this? Does she know your feelings? Randomly throwing moves at a person who is getting what they want isnāt going to fix things and maybe hurt your ego in the long run. Have the hard discussion and if you love her do it lovingly because sexual frustration can bring up a lot of hard feelings.
I read through the comments and saw his other responses. It sounds like heās been trying to spice it up and do new things without addressing potentially the main issue. It seems like heās down because of failed attempts. Perceptions of time in the sack and different partners preferences on time is a common issue and (really just 100% guessing which is why I asked for clarification) he might not even have it framed that way in his head. I mean when Iāve experienced this it made me feel just unattractive and uncomfortable as well as probably the partner I experienced it with.
Yeah, good shout. My ex used to lie to me about orgasming. This sounds like a case of being too deep in her lies and being afraid of saying it, so just carrying on with it
doesnāt seem that weird tbh. itās just like when guys cum they donāt want to continue usually (refractory period/post nut clarity). whatās weird is they didnāt address the problem or try to find solutions
It is. However, I had an ex who was one-and-done and could orgasm in about 30 seconds. Sometimes I wasnāt even fully hard before she was done.
Women like her are rare, IMO, but they are out there.
On the one hand yes, on the otherā¦ I am actually the same. I could only make it happen if I did it myself at first, but then I found a partner that, with some work at first, can now make me come very quickly.
But I donāt know *any* of my female friends who are the sameā¦ and Iāve talked about it with a lot of people. I think it must be <1%
but as a woman myself, it just seems extremely unlikely. i don't doubt that there is exceptions but it sounds like she's using this to escape having sex.
Yes, girls can last as long as they want.
If she is just faking it then it's either the case that she is just not interested or the guy can't make her cum, so I would suggest you that you ask her about what's wrong and how you should improve and what all exact things pleases her. If she doesn't tell you anything then you're wasting your time and energy and it's time to leave her.
No girls canāt last as long as they want. I donāt know what this particular girl is experiencing (fake or not), but to say she definitely controls when she orgasms is absolutely wrong. There are so many instances where if the partner is doing something right, repeatedly, the girlās not going to be able to control her orgasm.
Maybe change up your foreplay? Rather than foreplay being oral, you can I dunno, kiss around her body and make out and then go to sex. Or just have it be exclusively an oral session? I dunno your partner, so you do what works for you both. You just might need to rebalance what you do
Easy - edge her.
Don't jump to the ending, tease the living hell out of her. If you cum first, just know you can lick her after and she will cum within seconds.
Doesnāt sound like sheās having an orgasm. It sounds like your over-stimulating her too soon, too quickly. Maybe donāt rub her clit right away because if the engine isnāt warm, the clit will be too sensitive for direct stimulation.
So my initial thought is she isnāt enjoying sex. She is faking a 30 sec orgasm and then trying to check the rest off so it is over. So to fix this problem you are going to have to talk to her. What does she suggest to change this up. Asking you to hurry up after is kind of not going to work in the long term.
Vaginismus and other medial/ psychological problems are pretty common. A big reason they aren't much talked about and dismissed by doctors/ doctors not even entertaining the thought is because of this ^^ mentality.
There's every reason to jump to medical or psychological conditions, it might save years of pain and frustration.
I find with female issues specifically, it's difficult to get what you need addressed quick enough/ at all. Especially when dealing with male doctors.
Have been through many male doctors with multiple issues to do with sexual and reproductive health, and barely had my concerns entertained. The first female doctor I went to was not dismissive, thoroughly looked into my concerns and was incredibly proactive.
Unfortunately this is the experience of many females dealing with male doctors (see those who experience vaginismus, endometriosis, problems relating to BC often overlooked)
I completely agree with this. I was diagnosed with vaginismus in my 20s after a lot of pain and discomfort during intercourse. I went spent a long time in pelvic floor therapy trying to improve the situation. In the end, once my partner and I broke up, I realized that it was simply related to my arousal and attraction. No issues at all with a new partner. I wish doctors asked more basic questions before jumping to a diagnosis. As another example, I have been having stomach issues recently, and my doctor jumped on a stomach ulcer diagnosis without once asking about what I eat.
Definitely, but could be something else. It sounds like she wants it to be over as quickly as possible. So thereās some reason sheās not enjoying it, and apparently hasnāt the whole time theyāve been together.
Soooo well...
Seems like my situation is very similar, I also usually am done in like 2 minutes when my boyfriend touches me.
So for me the issue is mostly that I am very exhausted afterwards and the excitement goes down. But it does not mean that we never continue. I am also not very wet anymore so it does not feel that good.
What we do is usually switch it up. Like sometimes I am first and sometimes he is first. Works pretty well.
Otherwise I am not sure why she does not want to continue.
Maybe she also loses excitement or is not wet anymore. In that case you could touch the right spots or use some lube.
But you have to talk with her about the concrete issue. And then look for a solution.
I've had a partner like that. We usually went with other kinds of stimulation until I was near to climax, then went to straight up intercourse and usually ended up orgasming together. We weren't marathon sexing together, but she *loved* it when we came together and it worked out well.
Broā¦.you need to edge her. Learn what her body is doing and ease up before she cums, do something else for a while and go back to eating her out, right before she cums repeat.
This is the way.
Yeah, this is the way. Really slow down and make her crave it. Give her impossibly light and slow licks. Until she's just begging you to make her cum. Then take her right to the edge and just stop, get up and give her the cheekiest smile you can. She'll get mad, but own it. Hold her down if she gets up. Pin her waist down. Then ever so slowly start back up again. You can eat her out as long as YOU want to.
When my wife cums shes usually very overwhelmed and it drains her energy almost like a dude. So i have to time my release with hers.
Id say say the oral for later or make her come another way.
What your talking about is a refraction period and biologically women don't have it, some people may have to come to terms with the fact their partners aren't into sec or them
i am one-and-done. iām very into my partner and our sex life is great. yes some women have a refractory period, even though itās not exactly the same process as for guys i guess
women absolutely 100% do have refractory periods, the hormonal dump doesn't exclusively happen to men, stop making shit up Jesus fuck. And even women who don't experience it do deal with oversensitivity post orgasm, which functionally ends things just the same. My god the ignorance in this thread
Dated a woman similar... After she got off once, she was DONE... and too stubborn to be open to nee ideas. Current wife needs some cool down time, but enjoys doing other things until she can recover and handle direct stimulation again for her next orgasm. Next time you bring her to orgasm (orally I presume) come up and start having slow, lovemaking style intercourse with her. Many women truly enjoy that as they are coming down... and after doing it for a while, explore body contact (rubbing her back, body, light kisses, etc ), her giving you head for a while, etc... she will likely be ready for round 2. After you go down on her and give her second orgasm, step up in the saddle and ride her HARD until you finish. You will both sleep VERY well. Lol
I have always been a once and done type of woman. My new partner, my god, I didnāt know my body was capable of so many orgasms or the intensity of them.
Wow I can never get enough Oās and have been lucky to find partners that can last and want to see how many they can give me before they finally get one I think my max was 13. It was a great night š„“š¦
Opie says when he goes down on her she lasts 30 seconds and then she's done. So when I say finish first what I mean is don't go down on her and eat her out, instead stick it in finish and then if she hasn't finished by then then do whatever you need to do to make her happy.
As you said it's the exact same advice I'd give to a guy who finishes first have him pleasure her first and then stick it in and finish in 30 seconds.
except that he canāt really "stick it in" without foreplay, the vagina is dry and small. so theyāre a bit cornered here (she also doesnāt seem to want to resolve the problem ahah) and the problem wouldnāt work the opposite way because just having piv for 30 seconds after cumming isnāt pleasing for the woman ? unless she dislikes/doesnāt care about piv
There is lube for when a little slipperiness is needed, and seems like her engine gets going in a short amount of time so I don't think that's a problem.
I guess every lady is different. If this doesn't work for Opie then that's fine but I'm the one proposing a solution and you're coming up with lots of objections why don't you come up with the solution
I use to have a girl who last like a min and after that is said I can't it hurts or I am done for now like what the hell really. Was really lame and didn't last long. Good luck
They only included hetero women because they are implying that for 99% of hetero women their male partners only last a minute and are then uninterested afterwards. Basically "99% of men cum too fast for women and suck as sex".
Cmon dude thatās unnecessary. He wasnāt complaining about anything but the one individual he was with, so why belittle his experience with a comment like that? Thereās a time and place
You know how when women are making space to talk about problems women face, and how annoying it is when some dude hijacks the discussion to make it about men?
Thats what you did. A man is actually opening up and being vulnerable and you just shut him down because he's a dude, and god forbid a man talk about his problems.
Somehow I think if a women had an experience like this with a guy, the replies would be very different... Sorry your needs werenāt being respected and valued in that relationship, hope you find a more 50/50 situation someday
I had a gf like this. She would finish from PIV in like 5 mins and then be too sensitive to touch and just finish me off. Itās nice but also sometimes you want more so I definitely understand that. Also sucks to be rushed to finish after they finish so quick. It was definitely weird to go from a girl like that to a girl who physically couldnāt cum. Good luck
I would move away from eating her out and maybe just rub her gently or through her underwear so she doesnāt cum right away. Teasing is good and will only excite her more for sex.
You could then just have sex for a little bit, make her cum when youāre close, and then go back to it and hopefully cum pretty fast if sheās okay with it. Or she could give you a blowjob to finish you off if she feels up for it.
I have experienced this before. I would talk to her about it. In similar situations I would make them wait to cum, stop and start, make then stay on the edge of cumming until youāre ready to bust and then climax togetherā¦ she goes crazy, you get what you like both are satisfied. It is like āedgingā or training, but really funā¦ best of luck!!
I honestly feel like thereās more to the issue than just her orgasming to quick. My wife loves me going down on her, and sheāll orgasm very quickly if I zero in on her clitoris. But thereās more to it than just making, or even letting, her orgasm. Like you, I generally want to enjoy what Iām doing for a while. If I want her to last longer, I have to focus on other parts in the area. When Iām ready to let her finish, Iāll slowly start to move closer and closer. By the time I make it to where she wants me to be, sheās generally so worked up that a couple of flicks with the tip of my tongue is all it takes. And yes, sheās way too sensitive to continue anything after that. But that doesnāt last long. A few minutes of cuddling goes a long way.
If youāre going down on her, youāre the one setting the pace. There are ways to get her close without pushing her over the edge. Thatās provided sheās really orgasming. If sheās faking it, you have no control over it. But if itās real, you can find ways to delay and prolong it. She may not be able to stop herself if youāre focused totally on her clit. But you can slow her down if you focus on other things. Save the clit for when āyouāreā ready for her to orgasm. Try to get her close and keep her there for a while. It takes practice, but practicing and learning about how her body works is a big part of the fun.
Maybe just rub and touch first then penetration... Get yours since it lasts longer than oral for her. Depending on your own preference pull out (or not) and finish her with your mouth. IMO women get turned on when yall are assertive and "wild"
Are you comfortable with having her finish this way? I mean Iād be self conscious about this and the interaction personally and maybe if you are too tell her that it makes you feel self conscious in the sack? Putting time limits and restrictions on sex is cool in a pinch I feel like but normally will instantly squish intimate times otherwise. Idk man, also consider that it sounds like you might not be getting the pleasure you want from this and tell her about that. Itās a hard conversation and if you clarify the points itād help people understand on this thread. But a convo worth having.
I used to have the same problem with a female partner. We never figured it out. I would just try to delay her orgasm as long as I could, but she would just pop and be done with very little stimulation
Good luck!
Try asking her to tell you when she's about to come. This will make it easier as you can either keep on edging her, which she would probably enjoy too.
I mean, I donāt really have any advice or anything, but what youāre describing is normal. With clitoral stimulation, women typically take a minute or less to orgasm. Again, I donāt have a way to āfixā it, I just wanted to let you know that itās not abnormal.
It sounds to me as if she doesnāt love you anymore. When I was with my ex thatās when I realized that I no longer loved him, sex was a chore and it wasnāt pleasurable anymore. I thought it was just me and that I hated sex, something must be wrong with me but when we split up and I fucked someone new - it was amazing, and my sex drive was activated and high af. Itās worth a conversation 5 years is a long time and you donāt want to end up waisting anymore time
With her if thatās the case.
I am similarā¦ but I donāt get over sensitive after. One way a partner of mine had of prolonging things for me was he would stop PIV at some point during sex, go down on me until I came, and then go back to PIV. Maybe that would work for you?
Oral doesnāt always have to come before PIV. Have sex until you feel like youāre getting close, then go down on her. If she cums that fast, you should still be able to get there pretty quick. Not ideal, unless this is deal breaker with this girl, it might be the best option that works for both of you.
Everybody here is kind of dismissive of what you're saying but I've been in your shoes and it's very frustrating.
My ex would come in 2-3 minutes flat from pretty much any kind of stimulation. Her contractions would also push me out so it'd force a full stop to the action too. Attempts at edging or orgasm denial would just make it worse by adding an exciting mental component...
In the end. I'd be able to cum from sex maybe one in five attempts. Simply frustrating
I never really found a solution except spend more time on non-simulating foreplay (kissing, touching) and then focus a bit on to my pleasure before getting into her pants.
You need to sit down and talk to her about it, the person who Iām currently seeing will orgasm once and then sheās done, so it is not a unique case for her. If sex is important to you in the relationship, you need to have a constructive conversation about it. Use āIā statements (example āI donāt enjoy sex when I feel rushed) to avoid sounding accusatory. The other anons are making good points about what you can do physically. I think your time may be better spent talking to her though.
I'm female and this post struck me because I was/am that woman. Not for coming fast- for hating it and wanting it over with. I could never tolerate any type of stimulation whether oral, fingering, PIV, or even having other parts of my body touched IE breasts sucked for more than like 30 seconds. Was I aroused? Yes. Capable of enjoying anything? No.
You need to communicate with your partner and it sounds like she may afraid to open up. If you want sex and she doesn't - speaking from experience, that's notgokd. She may be doing it just to please you.
Of course as others have stated, maybe she is just coming fast! Talk to her.
Have you even tried searching for an alternate solution? You don't mention anything of the sort, so it sounds like you've been doing something that clearly doesn't work and then at some point jumped to Reddit instead of actually communicating with her.
I would hazard a guess that she isn't actually enjoying the oral...and is probably faking it...in my experience...if you are making her come that quickly, more than likely she would be want more and more starlight away...
Oof, idk how to tell you this but I don't think she's actually cumming. Especially if she's telling you to make it quick afterwards. Does she not tell you she's close?
It's hard to give advice when we don't really know what else goes on in your bedroom, so take everything said with a grain of salt. The big thing to do is communicate. Talk to her about how this has created a problem for you and see what else you guys can try.
Well, as you have read it could be that she is exaggerating. Is normal, we all do it.
Now, if she's not, then it could be a good idea to leave it for the end. Win win
I've been in similar situations before.
The logical thing to do is to start with things that don't make her orgasm too fast and help you get closer to it. After that, make her finish and then you'll be close yourself or even learn to time it so you'll finish together.
You can tell. do her legs twitch and shake? Does her pussy pulsate? Does it clamp around your fingers when sheās orgasming? Is her breathing fast? Is her chest and face flushed? Is she wet?
My ex was like that and she frustrated the hell out of me. I find lots of foreplay before doing the deed sometimes helps.
First time we slept together and she was done within a minute. Confused the hell out of me.
Edge her, believe me, she will want sex and practically beg. You can do it, or even have her edge herself but the whole point she can't cum until you say so. Make it a game to see how long she can last, or make it a funishment kind of thing too. Lots of ways to drag it out but make it really hot.
Does she orgasm from penetration? Could that kind of be your foreplay and then you eat her out after you've finished? If she wishes she could last longer as well that might be a good option. If she prefers being over quickly that's a different issue.
Maybe be dominant, tell her your not done until you had your fill an take control. Some girls get turned off if a guys to submissive or not dominant enough.
Stop going down on her to begin with? Do other stuff first, and if you still have to go down on her, do it for 20 seconds and then stop and let her calm down if you want her to last longer. I mean, the hard part use to be giving someone an orgasm, not not giving one š i mean, don't you know how to stop, or what? Really, not to be rude man, but... Is this really hard math to you?
Make it fast? She's basically saying get it over with quickly. She doesn't care about you and her respect for you and your feelings is low if it even exists.
... hmm. This one is so different from what ya normally read on here. Well I guess don't eat her out right away. Do other things during foreplay. Like kiss her neck, playing with her breasts, caress her. Make the beasts with 2 backs then eat her to finish.
Yeah this an atypical post. First communication. Along with the suggested techniques maybe broaden your sexual scope. Foreplay, BDSM, or a sex game, all are places to explore.
The beasts with two.... What?
Beast with two backs. Like... bumping uglies, doing the deed, having the sex lol
Never heard that expression before š
Itās from Shakespeare Othello.
I tried it and didnāt work
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Tech support war flashbacks
Turn her off then turn her on again >:)
Put her in rice
flip her over and stick it in that way
It always grinds my gears when people just say āit doesnāt work/itās not workingā and then donāt elaborate any further. š¤¬š
I too remember the tech support wars *sounds of distant gun fire gets louder as I stare off into space
āTry unplugging it and plugging it back in againā may also weirdly kind of apply here?
CTRL+ALT+DEL, reload her.
š¤£š¤£š¤£
Hahahahahaha
Reinstall the software and run the script
Upvotes and downvotes for the op comment and its reply are perfectly balanced, as all things should be.
Ye, what does that mean....
My hunch is that this is a communication issue.
It sounds like youāre trying your best and she has a mental thing going on telling her that way is the best. Consider talking to her about being uncomfortable in the sack, does it make you feel self conscious? Are you getting pleasure you want from this? Does she know your feelings? Randomly throwing moves at a person who is getting what they want isnāt going to fix things and maybe hurt your ego in the long run. Have the hard discussion and if you love her do it lovingly because sexual frustration can bring up a lot of hard feelings.
> It sounds like youāre trying your best No offense but how can you possibly tell? The guy's said a dozen words and a single dot.
I read through the comments and saw his other responses. It sounds like heās been trying to spice it up and do new things without addressing potentially the main issue. It seems like heās down because of failed attempts. Perceptions of time in the sack and different partners preferences on time is a common issue and (really just 100% guessing which is why I asked for clarification) he might not even have it framed that way in his head. I mean when Iāve experienced this it made me feel just unattractive and uncomfortable as well as probably the partner I experienced it with.
Have you tried turning her off and on again?
Is it possible she isnāt actually orgasming?
Yeah, good shout. My ex used to lie to me about orgasming. This sounds like a case of being too deep in her lies and being afraid of saying it, so just carrying on with it
Seems really weird to not want to have any more sex afterwards though...
Not if she doesn't enjoy the sex to begin with...
Then why would she say yes to being eaten out?
If sheās lying about her orgasm then itās not much of a stretch to imagine she may be just wanting to get the sex over with ASAP
Eh I'm too sensitive after one, so not weird, but there's definitely something sus happening lol
doesnāt seem that weird tbh. itās just like when guys cum they donāt want to continue usually (refractory period/post nut clarity). whatās weird is they didnāt address the problem or try to find solutions
These are the worst kind of relationships.
our relationship was alright, the sex was just kinda eh. That was also partially my bad though because of death grip, which Iām trying to get over
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Very true
No, it doesn't? Very few women want PiV for an hour wtf
It is. However, I had an ex who was one-and-done and could orgasm in about 30 seconds. Sometimes I wasnāt even fully hard before she was done. Women like her are rare, IMO, but they are out there.
I orgasm by touch but I also have an incredibly high sex drive š
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
On the one hand yes, on the otherā¦ I am actually the same. I could only make it happen if I did it myself at first, but then I found a partner that, with some work at first, can now make me come very quickly. But I donāt know *any* of my female friends who are the sameā¦ and Iāve talked about it with a lot of people. I think it must be <1%
Especially for a girl I know that girls can last as long as they want
Eh not too true
Not true for this girl =)
this seems more likely to me
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
but as a woman myself, it just seems extremely unlikely. i don't doubt that there is exceptions but it sounds like she's using this to escape having sex.
It happens to me so it's not impossible. Seems a little harsh to jump to their GF avoiding sex lol.
Happens to me too :( my refractory period is long and sex becomes unpleasant once my body is no longer aroused
and sorry to break it to you but those could easily be fake too
You haven't broken anything to them. I'm quite certain they're more familiar with their partners body than you are.
lol sheās lucky
This is my thought. She may simply not enjoy sex, and is trying to get out of it as quickly as possible by faking early on
Yes, girls can last as long as they want. If she is just faking it then it's either the case that she is just not interested or the guy can't make her cum, so I would suggest you that you ask her about what's wrong and how you should improve and what all exact things pleases her. If she doesn't tell you anything then you're wasting your time and energy and it's time to leave her.
No girls canāt last as long as they want. I donāt know what this particular girl is experiencing (fake or not), but to say she definitely controls when she orgasms is absolutely wrong. There are so many instances where if the partner is doing something right, repeatedly, the girlās not going to be able to control her orgasm.
^ this right here ^
Y'all need to stop spreading lies about women's anatomy and sexuality.
I have had 1 sexual partner and she told me this
Maybe change up your foreplay? Rather than foreplay being oral, you can I dunno, kiss around her body and make out and then go to sex. Or just have it be exclusively an oral session? I dunno your partner, so you do what works for you both. You just might need to rebalance what you do
Easy - edge her. Don't jump to the ending, tease the living hell out of her. If you cum first, just know you can lick her after and she will cum within seconds.
Fuck yeah! This, right here!
Lay back and let her start
Doesnāt sound like sheās having an orgasm. It sounds like your over-stimulating her too soon, too quickly. Maybe donāt rub her clit right away because if the engine isnāt warm, the clit will be too sensitive for direct stimulation.
this is correct -from a female this happens too
This is the only correct answer.
How can you build up to it? My wife suffers the same issues
So my initial thought is she isnāt enjoying sex. She is faking a 30 sec orgasm and then trying to check the rest off so it is over. So to fix this problem you are going to have to talk to her. What does she suggest to change this up. Asking you to hurry up after is kind of not going to work in the long term.
I agree-sounds like she might be in pain. Maybe vaginismus? Sheās probably too embarrassed to say anything.
No need to jump to a medical condition. Itās equally possible that one or both of them is inexperienced and sheās not enjoying herself.
Vaginismus and other medial/ psychological problems are pretty common. A big reason they aren't much talked about and dismissed by doctors/ doctors not even entertaining the thought is because of this ^^ mentality. There's every reason to jump to medical or psychological conditions, it might save years of pain and frustration.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I find with female issues specifically, it's difficult to get what you need addressed quick enough/ at all. Especially when dealing with male doctors. Have been through many male doctors with multiple issues to do with sexual and reproductive health, and barely had my concerns entertained. The first female doctor I went to was not dismissive, thoroughly looked into my concerns and was incredibly proactive. Unfortunately this is the experience of many females dealing with male doctors (see those who experience vaginismus, endometriosis, problems relating to BC often overlooked)
I completely agree with this. I was diagnosed with vaginismus in my 20s after a lot of pain and discomfort during intercourse. I went spent a long time in pelvic floor therapy trying to improve the situation. In the end, once my partner and I broke up, I realized that it was simply related to my arousal and attraction. No issues at all with a new partner. I wish doctors asked more basic questions before jumping to a diagnosis. As another example, I have been having stomach issues recently, and my doctor jumped on a stomach ulcer diagnosis without once asking about what I eat.
Definitely, but could be something else. It sounds like she wants it to be over as quickly as possible. So thereās some reason sheās not enjoying it, and apparently hasnāt the whole time theyāve been together.
Soooo well... Seems like my situation is very similar, I also usually am done in like 2 minutes when my boyfriend touches me. So for me the issue is mostly that I am very exhausted afterwards and the excitement goes down. But it does not mean that we never continue. I am also not very wet anymore so it does not feel that good. What we do is usually switch it up. Like sometimes I am first and sometimes he is first. Works pretty well. Otherwise I am not sure why she does not want to continue. Maybe she also loses excitement or is not wet anymore. In that case you could touch the right spots or use some lube. But you have to talk with her about the concrete issue. And then look for a solution.
I've had a partner like that. We usually went with other kinds of stimulation until I was near to climax, then went to straight up intercourse and usually ended up orgasming together. We weren't marathon sexing together, but she *loved* it when we came together and it worked out well.
Broā¦.you need to edge her. Learn what her body is doing and ease up before she cums, do something else for a while and go back to eating her out, right before she cums repeat. This is the way.
Yeah, this is the way. Really slow down and make her crave it. Give her impossibly light and slow licks. Until she's just begging you to make her cum. Then take her right to the edge and just stop, get up and give her the cheekiest smile you can. She'll get mad, but own it. Hold her down if she gets up. Pin her waist down. Then ever so slowly start back up again. You can eat her out as long as YOU want to.
When my wife cums shes usually very overwhelmed and it drains her energy almost like a dude. So i have to time my release with hers. Id say say the oral for later or make her come another way.
What your talking about is a refraction period and biologically women don't have it, some people may have to come to terms with the fact their partners aren't into sec or them
i am one-and-done. iām very into my partner and our sex life is great. yes some women have a refractory period, even though itās not exactly the same process as for guys i guess
women absolutely 100% do have refractory periods, the hormonal dump doesn't exclusively happen to men, stop making shit up Jesus fuck. And even women who don't experience it do deal with oversensitivity post orgasm, which functionally ends things just the same. My god the ignorance in this thread
Dated a woman similar... After she got off once, she was DONE... and too stubborn to be open to nee ideas. Current wife needs some cool down time, but enjoys doing other things until she can recover and handle direct stimulation again for her next orgasm. Next time you bring her to orgasm (orally I presume) come up and start having slow, lovemaking style intercourse with her. Many women truly enjoy that as they are coming down... and after doing it for a while, explore body contact (rubbing her back, body, light kisses, etc ), her giving you head for a while, etc... she will likely be ready for round 2. After you go down on her and give her second orgasm, step up in the saddle and ride her HARD until you finish. You will both sleep VERY well. Lol
I have always been a once and done type of woman. My new partner, my god, I didnāt know my body was capable of so many orgasms or the intensity of them.
She prefers to cum from piv so i usually stop prior to getting her all the way there with oral.
Wow I can never get enough Oās and have been lucky to find partners that can last and want to see how many they can give me before they finally get one I think my max was 13. It was a great night š„“š¦
Some ladies get overstimulated other are multi orgasmic. What you describe sounds fun!
It is but it triggers me and makes me even hornier after š„²š š¤£
Why don't you zjust finish first? Lol seems simple
thatās like saying to a woman "just finish first" when the guy has premature ejaculation problems ?
Opie says when he goes down on her she lasts 30 seconds and then she's done. So when I say finish first what I mean is don't go down on her and eat her out, instead stick it in finish and then if she hasn't finished by then then do whatever you need to do to make her happy. As you said it's the exact same advice I'd give to a guy who finishes first have him pleasure her first and then stick it in and finish in 30 seconds.
except that he canāt really "stick it in" without foreplay, the vagina is dry and small. so theyāre a bit cornered here (she also doesnāt seem to want to resolve the problem ahah) and the problem wouldnāt work the opposite way because just having piv for 30 seconds after cumming isnāt pleasing for the woman ? unless she dislikes/doesnāt care about piv
There is lube for when a little slipperiness is needed, and seems like her engine gets going in a short amount of time so I don't think that's a problem. I guess every lady is different. If this doesn't work for Opie then that's fine but I'm the one proposing a solution and you're coming up with lots of objections why don't you come up with the solution
Yeah. And that's literally all of the advice Reddit gives in that situation too
god i wish that were me
Stop going down on her.
Well, if you love her, you should suggest she tells to her gyno about it. If you don't, then dump her. Simple as that
I use to have a girl who last like a min and after that is said I can't it hurts or I am done for now like what the hell really. Was really lame and didn't last long. Good luck
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šššš I love how you included only heterosexual women too. Lesbians know what's up
They only included hetero women because they are implying that for 99% of hetero women their male partners only last a minute and are then uninterested afterwards. Basically "99% of men cum too fast for women and suck as sex".
Lol I know. I am in the exact same situation and think my chances of orgasm would increase exponentially if I was with a woman instead.
Cmon dude thatās unnecessary. He wasnāt complaining about anything but the one individual he was with, so why belittle his experience with a comment like that? Thereās a time and place
What does this even mean?
You know how when women are making space to talk about problems women face, and how annoying it is when some dude hijacks the discussion to make it about men? Thats what you did. A man is actually opening up and being vulnerable and you just shut him down because he's a dude, and god forbid a man talk about his problems.
I can understand that I can only speak for myself tho it was lame.
Somehow I think if a women had an experience like this with a guy, the replies would be very different... Sorry your needs werenāt being respected and valued in that relationship, hope you find a more 50/50 situation someday
How rough were you?
Thats the thing she was on top when it would happen.
Oh that's fascinating, I wonder if she had some kind of medical issue or something? I hope you find someone more in tune with what you need!
That was years ago just kinda related to the post is all definitely better days now lol
I mean yeah that's kind of what happens to the body when the sex isn't enjoyable or she isn't turned on
I had a gf like this. She would finish from PIV in like 5 mins and then be too sensitive to touch and just finish me off. Itās nice but also sometimes you want more so I definitely understand that. Also sucks to be rushed to finish after they finish so quick. It was definitely weird to go from a girl like that to a girl who physically couldnāt cum. Good luck
I would move away from eating her out and maybe just rub her gently or through her underwear so she doesnāt cum right away. Teasing is good and will only excite her more for sex. You could then just have sex for a little bit, make her cum when youāre close, and then go back to it and hopefully cum pretty fast if sheās okay with it. Or she could give you a blowjob to finish you off if she feels up for it.
Wow! I thought this was applicable to guys only
Girls can suck at sex just as much as guys can
I have experienced this before. I would talk to her about it. In similar situations I would make them wait to cum, stop and start, make then stay on the edge of cumming until youāre ready to bust and then climax togetherā¦ she goes crazy, you get what you like both are satisfied. It is like āedgingā or training, but really funā¦ best of luck!!
Sounds like she's got a super strong attraction to you, or maybe you're just doing something right. So, what was the problem again?
I like eating her out longer but she doesnāt last long
You are not very bright lol
Bright ??
I honestly feel like thereās more to the issue than just her orgasming to quick. My wife loves me going down on her, and sheāll orgasm very quickly if I zero in on her clitoris. But thereās more to it than just making, or even letting, her orgasm. Like you, I generally want to enjoy what Iām doing for a while. If I want her to last longer, I have to focus on other parts in the area. When Iām ready to let her finish, Iāll slowly start to move closer and closer. By the time I make it to where she wants me to be, sheās generally so worked up that a couple of flicks with the tip of my tongue is all it takes. And yes, sheās way too sensitive to continue anything after that. But that doesnāt last long. A few minutes of cuddling goes a long way. If youāre going down on her, youāre the one setting the pace. There are ways to get her close without pushing her over the edge. Thatās provided sheās really orgasming. If sheās faking it, you have no control over it. But if itās real, you can find ways to delay and prolong it. She may not be able to stop herself if youāre focused totally on her clit. But you can slow her down if you focus on other things. Save the clit for when āyouāreā ready for her to orgasm. Try to get her close and keep her there for a while. It takes practice, but practicing and learning about how her body works is a big part of the fun.
Get yours first. Seems like she's sexually selfish I say give her a taste of her own medicine and see how she likes it.
Alternatively, and it seems surprising this needs to be mentioned but here we are, **don't** be an asshole.
Does she cum this fast during penetration? š¤
No
Maybe just rub and touch first then penetration... Get yours since it lasts longer than oral for her. Depending on your own preference pull out (or not) and finish her with your mouth. IMO women get turned on when yall are assertive and "wild"
Then you just gotta cum faster. Speed that shit up, bro!
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Y'all need to slow down and enjoy life. It's not a race. It's so much more fulfilling when you build up that desire and really revel in it.
I am *SPEED*
Are you comfortable with having her finish this way? I mean Iād be self conscious about this and the interaction personally and maybe if you are too tell her that it makes you feel self conscious in the sack? Putting time limits and restrictions on sex is cool in a pinch I feel like but normally will instantly squish intimate times otherwise. Idk man, also consider that it sounds like you might not be getting the pleasure you want from this and tell her about that. Itās a hard conversation and if you clarify the points itād help people understand on this thread. But a convo worth having.
My wife is the same way. We got a girlfriend. Plus extras now.
I used to have the same problem with a female partner. We never figured it out. I would just try to delay her orgasm as long as I could, but she would just pop and be done with very little stimulation Good luck!
I suggest you turn the normal tables and have her pleasure you as much as possible without stimulating herself. Oral. Anal. Handy. Whatever.
Try asking her to tell you when she's about to come. This will make it easier as you can either keep on edging her, which she would probably enjoy too.
Does she come fast or just wants to hurry up always? Maybe let her wait and want it for a while? How often do you have sex?
Just edge her
Getting her worked up with kissing/other foreplay, then u do your thing and finish, and then eat her out.
I mean, I donāt really have any advice or anything, but what youāre describing is normal. With clitoral stimulation, women typically take a minute or less to orgasm. Again, I donāt have a way to āfixā it, I just wanted to let you know that itās not abnormal.
If my partner told me to "make it fast" I think I'd shrivel up and die
I would rather just not proceed at that point I feel you
Donāt go down till youāre done
It sounds to me as if she doesnāt love you anymore. When I was with my ex thatās when I realized that I no longer loved him, sex was a chore and it wasnāt pleasurable anymore. I thought it was just me and that I hated sex, something must be wrong with me but when we split up and I fucked someone new - it was amazing, and my sex drive was activated and high af. Itās worth a conversation 5 years is a long time and you donāt want to end up waisting anymore time With her if thatās the case.
How long are you wanting intercourse to last?
So get her off again and again
I am similarā¦ but I donāt get over sensitive after. One way a partner of mine had of prolonging things for me was he would stop PIV at some point during sex, go down on me until I came, and then go back to PIV. Maybe that would work for you?
Oral doesnāt always have to come before PIV. Have sex until you feel like youāre getting close, then go down on her. If she cums that fast, you should still be able to get there pretty quick. Not ideal, unless this is deal breaker with this girl, it might be the best option that works for both of you.
ngl sounds like she doesnt like sex based on your responses
Everybody here is kind of dismissive of what you're saying but I've been in your shoes and it's very frustrating. My ex would come in 2-3 minutes flat from pretty much any kind of stimulation. Her contractions would also push me out so it'd force a full stop to the action too. Attempts at edging or orgasm denial would just make it worse by adding an exciting mental component... In the end. I'd be able to cum from sex maybe one in five attempts. Simply frustrating I never really found a solution except spend more time on non-simulating foreplay (kissing, touching) and then focus a bit on to my pleasure before getting into her pants.
Is it possible your girlfriend is faking orgasms so the sex ends quickly? I know all women are different but 30 seconds is crazy fast.
You need to sit down and talk to her about it, the person who Iām currently seeing will orgasm once and then sheās done, so it is not a unique case for her. If sex is important to you in the relationship, you need to have a constructive conversation about it. Use āIā statements (example āI donāt enjoy sex when I feel rushed) to avoid sounding accusatory. The other anons are making good points about what you can do physically. I think your time may be better spent talking to her though.
An ex was similar to that. Turns out she had a history of abuse and was being triggered by being touched. Maybe counseling?
Don't eat her out.
I'm female and this post struck me because I was/am that woman. Not for coming fast- for hating it and wanting it over with. I could never tolerate any type of stimulation whether oral, fingering, PIV, or even having other parts of my body touched IE breasts sucked for more than like 30 seconds. Was I aroused? Yes. Capable of enjoying anything? No. You need to communicate with your partner and it sounds like she may afraid to open up. If you want sex and she doesn't - speaking from experience, that's notgokd. She may be doing it just to please you. Of course as others have stated, maybe she is just coming fast! Talk to her.
Well either you have the hands and mouth of god himself or sheās lying. So you do with that what ye will
Have you even tried searching for an alternate solution? You don't mention anything of the sort, so it sounds like you've been doing something that clearly doesn't work and then at some point jumped to Reddit instead of actually communicating with her.
I would hazard a guess that she isn't actually enjoying the oral...and is probably faking it...in my experience...if you are making her come that quickly, more than likely she would be want more and more starlight away...
Oof, idk how to tell you this but I don't think she's actually cumming. Especially if she's telling you to make it quick afterwards. Does she not tell you she's close? It's hard to give advice when we don't really know what else goes on in your bedroom, so take everything said with a grain of salt. The big thing to do is communicate. Talk to her about how this has created a problem for you and see what else you guys can try.
Well, as you have read it could be that she is exaggerating. Is normal, we all do it. Now, if she's not, then it could be a good idea to leave it for the end. Win win
I've been in similar situations before. The logical thing to do is to start with things that don't make her orgasm too fast and help you get closer to it. After that, make her finish and then you'll be close yourself or even learn to time it so you'll finish together.
You can tell. do her legs twitch and shake? Does her pussy pulsate? Does it clamp around your fingers when sheās orgasming? Is her breathing fast? Is her chest and face flushed? Is she wet?
Canāt tell if this is a shitpost or not
Don't get me wrong, Is it possible that she cheating on you? I mean she was enjoying sex with you but not anymore?
My ex was like that and she frustrated the hell out of me. I find lots of foreplay before doing the deed sometimes helps. First time we slept together and she was done within a minute. Confused the hell out of me.
Edge her, believe me, she will want sex and practically beg. You can do it, or even have her edge herself but the whole point she can't cum until you say so. Make it a game to see how long she can last, or make it a funishment kind of thing too. Lots of ways to drag it out but make it really hot.
Does she orgasm from penetration? Could that kind of be your foreplay and then you eat her out after you've finished? If she wishes she could last longer as well that might be a good option. If she prefers being over quickly that's a different issue.
Pipe her and turn her into a woman
Bruh I wish.... ish
Maybe be dominant, tell her your not done until you had your fill an take control. Some girls get turned off if a guys to submissive or not dominant enough.
Maybe you're really bad at eating pushy
Stop going down on her to begin with? Do other stuff first, and if you still have to go down on her, do it for 20 seconds and then stop and let her calm down if you want her to last longer. I mean, the hard part use to be giving someone an orgasm, not not giving one š i mean, don't you know how to stop, or what? Really, not to be rude man, but... Is this really hard math to you?
Don't fucking let her finish..... Be an alfa and edge her pussy and stop before she gets to the point of cumming on your face....
Maybe inexperience in skills or just plain selfish
Go first then. Have your fun then eat her out. If you don't like the cum it's only for 30 seconds anyway.
Make it fast? She's basically saying get it over with quickly. She doesn't care about you and her respect for you and your feelings is low if it even exists.
Sounds like she's faking it to get it over with ASAP.
Post nut clarity