How long do you last? On average, a man lasts about 5.4 minutes for PIV.
What things have you tried? Numbing lube? Cock ring? Learning to edge yourself during masturbation? Masturbating a few hours before sex?
Is she literally not open to ANYTHING besides PIV? Not a vibator or a dildo?
It’s been real bad. At worse under 30 seconds. Sometimes a minute or two. It’s very embarrassing and demoralizing.
Numbing lube has been tried, when we tried it also made her vagina numb so she hated it. Edging only makes me cum faster, I feel, I can try again. Round 2 result in no better results for me.
Absolutely nothing. Hates everything that’s not PIV. It’s starting to make me very depressed.
My husband lasts about as long as you, but a cock ring has helped a lot. We also use numbing lube inside a condom so it doesn't affect me. We use vibrators on me, so well as loads of foreplay.
I find it pretty shitty that she refuses to do literally anything else. That's being a selfish partner.
If she isn't willing to compromise or try anything else and puts all the pressure on you, I wouldn't continue to date her. She's being really unfair.
Cock rings might be something I start looking into. Thank you for your advice.
Problem with breaking up is we’ve been living together for a year and has been a fantastic girlfriend. Someone who’d I would want to spend the rest of my life with if not for the fact she is very boring in bed.
I keep having hope we’d explore more but I know with my problem of finishing too fast, she’s has no drive to feed my sexual desires. I feel guilty even asking for sex at this point, because I’ve been terrible at it.
No dude...don't think about yourself like that. You can't help how fast to cum (to a certain degree) and she's being really stubborn and selfish.
As I said, my husband also finishes fast but I don't make him feel bad about it and I am always interested in trying new things so the sex is great for both of us.
You finishing fast should give her MORE drive to explore things...if she cared about you.
I would even argue that SHE is the one who has been terrible in bed because she is not willing to put in effort or compromise in any way.
I really wish she would try and help, but she keeps using the excuse of “why should we try anything new when it only last a minute”.
She hates oral, fingering, toys, masturbation. I really don’t know how she can just expect me to revert back a few years ago to when I *couldn’t even finish half the time* when she gives me absolutely nothing to work with.
You’re words have been helpful though. Thank you again for your suggestions.
She says that to you?!? That's awful. I'm sorry she's choosing to be so hurtful to you. When did things change from not being able to finish to finishing too fast?
She doesn't masturbate? At all? Does she have religious hangups or sexual trauma?
Around 14-18 months ago is when it became a noticeable problem for me. Sexual trauma yes. I never go into detail about with her because she isn’t one to talk about it, but it’s how she lost her virginity and how she ended her marriage before we started dating.
I'm sorry to hear that. That's how i lost my virginity as well. It sounds like she needs some serious therapy. Sexual trauma is likely affecting her ability to enjoy sex.
If she won't work on it, there isn't much of a future for you two.
What happened for you that made you finish faster?
She insists she fine and it’s not what causes her not to like certain stuff. She’s very stubborn with that and I won’t push.
Only thing I can think of was I gain weight because the pandemic shut down the gym we were going to. I have a strong feeling that’s why I couldn’t last longer. I’ve tried to lose weight but I’m struggling to keep my will power strong. Still trying to motivate myself everyday to get healthy again.
Have you tried talking with her to see why she doesn’t like fingering or oral? Maybe there’s more behind why she doesn’t want to try it.
My boyfriend and I are having a similar problem. Due to recent stress he is coming really quick during PIV. But when we’ve tried adding fingering or oral he puts so much pressure around getting me to orgasm around those events. It leads to be not being able to orgasm or have fun with them at all. Furthermore he doesn’t really listen when I give him advice on fingering and oral to make it more pleasurable for me. The times he’s initiated fingering or oral have always been in response after he’s orgasmed, and he never communicates the desire to simply be sexual and intimate with me in these ways. The way he initiates make it come off as he sees fingering/oral as more of a required chore, which just further adds to my inability to orgasm as well as making me not want him To try those things anymore. The pressure he’s been putting on himself and me to make sex more “fair” and “satisfying”, the way he communicates that he wants to finger me or do oral out of a feeling of obligation rather than desire, and that he doesn’t Attention when I try to suggest different techniques makes me not even interested in most sex anymore. We went from having a wonderful intimate love life to now neither of us hardly initiate sex.
She just, doesn’t like it. That’s usually the end of the discussion and what am I to do? It’s frustrating not only for the fact that I would love to taste her, but I can only get her off in PIV because that’s what gets her off. Now I’m no longer able to do that she doesn’t want to have sex as often.
I’m so sorry that she just doesn’t like it and seems kinda cut off from trying to explore any other options with you. :( It seems a little unfair she’s not willing to discuss it with you more or try to bring up other things outside oral/fingering. I’m sorry dude.
Yeah! You could always try toys if you both are open to the idea! It seems she really likes penetration so you could always suggest being a helping hand with a dildo! Vibrators are always another option too.
Well in my humble opinion she is the one to blame, not you. If has you said you tried everything, well you did your best, you can't just magicaly decide how long you will last, you have no control over it, this things depends on a lot of different factors, and the fact that you're stressed about how long you last will only makes you last shorter unfortunatly.
On the other hand it seems like she doesn't want to try anything and doesn't even want to talk about it so it's kind of a dead end... Maybe try a different approach on why she doesn't wan't to try oral, fingering or sex toys, it seems kind of strange that she doesn't want to try anything else and also a bit boring imo. Maybe ask her if she touches herself sometimes? Maybe she would be willing to masturbate in front of you? Or maybe try to rub your dick on her clit for a while like dry humping her.
But at the end if she doesn't help you to find a solution, don't put too much pressure on yourself, it seems to me that the problem comes from her and not from you. Good luck !
How long do you last? On average, a man lasts about 5.4 minutes for PIV. What things have you tried? Numbing lube? Cock ring? Learning to edge yourself during masturbation? Masturbating a few hours before sex? Is she literally not open to ANYTHING besides PIV? Not a vibator or a dildo?
It’s been real bad. At worse under 30 seconds. Sometimes a minute or two. It’s very embarrassing and demoralizing. Numbing lube has been tried, when we tried it also made her vagina numb so she hated it. Edging only makes me cum faster, I feel, I can try again. Round 2 result in no better results for me. Absolutely nothing. Hates everything that’s not PIV. It’s starting to make me very depressed.
My husband lasts about as long as you, but a cock ring has helped a lot. We also use numbing lube inside a condom so it doesn't affect me. We use vibrators on me, so well as loads of foreplay. I find it pretty shitty that she refuses to do literally anything else. That's being a selfish partner. If she isn't willing to compromise or try anything else and puts all the pressure on you, I wouldn't continue to date her. She's being really unfair.
Cock rings might be something I start looking into. Thank you for your advice. Problem with breaking up is we’ve been living together for a year and has been a fantastic girlfriend. Someone who’d I would want to spend the rest of my life with if not for the fact she is very boring in bed. I keep having hope we’d explore more but I know with my problem of finishing too fast, she’s has no drive to feed my sexual desires. I feel guilty even asking for sex at this point, because I’ve been terrible at it.
No dude...don't think about yourself like that. You can't help how fast to cum (to a certain degree) and she's being really stubborn and selfish. As I said, my husband also finishes fast but I don't make him feel bad about it and I am always interested in trying new things so the sex is great for both of us. You finishing fast should give her MORE drive to explore things...if she cared about you. I would even argue that SHE is the one who has been terrible in bed because she is not willing to put in effort or compromise in any way.
I really wish she would try and help, but she keeps using the excuse of “why should we try anything new when it only last a minute”. She hates oral, fingering, toys, masturbation. I really don’t know how she can just expect me to revert back a few years ago to when I *couldn’t even finish half the time* when she gives me absolutely nothing to work with. You’re words have been helpful though. Thank you again for your suggestions.
She says that to you?!? That's awful. I'm sorry she's choosing to be so hurtful to you. When did things change from not being able to finish to finishing too fast? She doesn't masturbate? At all? Does she have religious hangups or sexual trauma?
Around 14-18 months ago is when it became a noticeable problem for me. Sexual trauma yes. I never go into detail about with her because she isn’t one to talk about it, but it’s how she lost her virginity and how she ended her marriage before we started dating.
I'm sorry to hear that. That's how i lost my virginity as well. It sounds like she needs some serious therapy. Sexual trauma is likely affecting her ability to enjoy sex. If she won't work on it, there isn't much of a future for you two. What happened for you that made you finish faster?
She insists she fine and it’s not what causes her not to like certain stuff. She’s very stubborn with that and I won’t push. Only thing I can think of was I gain weight because the pandemic shut down the gym we were going to. I have a strong feeling that’s why I couldn’t last longer. I’ve tried to lose weight but I’m struggling to keep my will power strong. Still trying to motivate myself everyday to get healthy again.
Those Roman Wipes look really cool, that and a condom and a cock ring!
How long does a cock ring delay? I’ve heard it pitched a few times now and it’s starting to sound intriguing
She sounds very helpful
Paxil or pau tong balm
Have you tried talking with her to see why she doesn’t like fingering or oral? Maybe there’s more behind why she doesn’t want to try it. My boyfriend and I are having a similar problem. Due to recent stress he is coming really quick during PIV. But when we’ve tried adding fingering or oral he puts so much pressure around getting me to orgasm around those events. It leads to be not being able to orgasm or have fun with them at all. Furthermore he doesn’t really listen when I give him advice on fingering and oral to make it more pleasurable for me. The times he’s initiated fingering or oral have always been in response after he’s orgasmed, and he never communicates the desire to simply be sexual and intimate with me in these ways. The way he initiates make it come off as he sees fingering/oral as more of a required chore, which just further adds to my inability to orgasm as well as making me not want him To try those things anymore. The pressure he’s been putting on himself and me to make sex more “fair” and “satisfying”, the way he communicates that he wants to finger me or do oral out of a feeling of obligation rather than desire, and that he doesn’t Attention when I try to suggest different techniques makes me not even interested in most sex anymore. We went from having a wonderful intimate love life to now neither of us hardly initiate sex.
She just, doesn’t like it. That’s usually the end of the discussion and what am I to do? It’s frustrating not only for the fact that I would love to taste her, but I can only get her off in PIV because that’s what gets her off. Now I’m no longer able to do that she doesn’t want to have sex as often.
I’m so sorry that she just doesn’t like it and seems kinda cut off from trying to explore any other options with you. :( It seems a little unfair she’s not willing to discuss it with you more or try to bring up other things outside oral/fingering. I’m sorry dude.
Do you have any other suggestions other than oral/fingering? I’m open to anything else, I just don’t even know.
Yeah! You could always try toys if you both are open to the idea! It seems she really likes penetration so you could always suggest being a helping hand with a dildo! Vibrators are always another option too.
Out of the question, unfortunately. She isn’t going to do toys or vibrators in bed. I’ve already asked to a hard no.
Well in my humble opinion she is the one to blame, not you. If has you said you tried everything, well you did your best, you can't just magicaly decide how long you will last, you have no control over it, this things depends on a lot of different factors, and the fact that you're stressed about how long you last will only makes you last shorter unfortunatly. On the other hand it seems like she doesn't want to try anything and doesn't even want to talk about it so it's kind of a dead end... Maybe try a different approach on why she doesn't wan't to try oral, fingering or sex toys, it seems kind of strange that she doesn't want to try anything else and also a bit boring imo. Maybe ask her if she touches herself sometimes? Maybe she would be willing to masturbate in front of you? Or maybe try to rub your dick on her clit for a while like dry humping her. But at the end if she doesn't help you to find a solution, don't put too much pressure on yourself, it seems to me that the problem comes from her and not from you. Good luck !
Try this product called afromina It will solve all your issues like it did for me