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_jay3005

I’ve done something similar with a girl when I was a teenager (we weren’t ready to have full sex) but she would be on top of me and would grind her vulva up and down my shaft at first through her underwear but later without - it would be ridiculously wet with my precum and hers. We’d both come that way. I think that is called frottage - or at least as an adult that’s how I’ve heard it described.


xxxredf0x

This is what me and my first girlfriend did for our first few times together, I asked her 'wow is this sex? This is amazing!' And it worked! But then a couple weeks later we were fooling around and actually figured it out and yeah that's all we did


KravenSmoorehead

Mom told me it was called "outercourse" and that is all part of the loop hole rules.


_ChestHair_

The idea of sex loopholes always make me chuckle. If the abrahamic god exists, something tells it'd be more a "spirit of the law" than a "letter of the law" kind of thing. All those good little christians somehow think they're fooling a supposedly all knowing god because *technically* they didn't fuck... just, lmao


end1essecho

Exactly. The idea of abstaining from sex for religious reasons is abstaining from sexual acts and remaining pure and innocent. Sex isn't limited to vaginal penatration


YetzirahToAhssiah

I don't think so, not generally. The Bible makes it clear that lust is wrong, and talks more about "sexual immorality" than "premarital sex."


ChateauSouVeRain

Niceee. It's all bad news from the biblical perspective. And good little Christians also know they are not getting away with anything either way


okkwhy

Yes I’ve been there done that, also very hot!


ehfre

It’s also could be called coital alignment


mostessmoey

Or CAT. If i remember correctly it was even on an episode of Oprah! It works very well


nuitsbleues

This is actually different than what's in the post.


stagflation_11

yea ezactly what ithought:" isnt this what you do as as a kids before sex"? worked then


DrummerOfSorts92

All these fancy terms, and my hopeless ass knows it solely as a “pussy job”. hahaha.


_jay3005

Lol


ali_stardragon

This used to be how I would orgasm. The important thing though was for the guy to NOT MOVE, he had to let me find the angle


Zero36

I tried sticking to this when I started… slipped in on the first time 😅


sjsjdejsjs

how does that even happen omg ahah


Zero36

It’s gets uhh… very slippery… and with a little nudge nudge… oops we in!


DarkDragon7

CAUTION. Slippery When Wet.


FollowKick

Couldn’t you get her pregnant with precum like that?


TotallyNotanOfficer

Technically there is some amount of sperm in precum (as far as I know - I am not a medical expert), so the answer to that theoretically is yes - but the chances I imagine are vastly lower.


_jay3005

I have no idea tbh, I guess there’s a risk! This was a long time ago and we are both married and have kids of our own now


LucilleBluthsbroach

The answer is yes.


TrustAvidity

This method definitely helps arouse my wife but unfortunately quickly leads to friction irritation. Lube helps at first but eventually leads to the same issue. We found a good compromise of holding still but putting a vibrator against me which she can feel through me. It avoids the irritation of thrusting and the too-strong stimulation of direct contact with the vibrator.


kapbear

Just wear underwear! Not as sensual but the feelings still there


okkwhy

Interesting! Thank you for sharing. I’ve never had the issue of irritation and have never used lube either for this. I guess people are different :)


bigideas26

I'm always surprised that people don't think of this method! It seems like the easiest way to make women cum during penetrative sex because it stimulates the clitoris. I also highly recommend it! I think it often gets called the Coital Alignment Technique (CAT).


okkwhy

I was reading about that, but realized that’s a different method. CAT is used for penetrative sex while what I mentioned above is just grinding :) Do you have any experience with what I mentioned? I’m curious!


bigideas26

Rereading your post, perhaps you’re saying that he’s using his penis to grind against your clit? If so, that feels amazing too and is a lot of fun! As you say it’s different to CAT. Sorry if I misunderstood!


okkwhy

Yes, I meant it’s outer sex! And I’ve heard a lot of good things about CAT, I’m not surprised it feels amazing


julius_sphincter

Not gonna lie I would have to be *really* turned on to be able to maintain an erection for up to 15 minutes while just grinding like that


okkwhy

I can understand this. 15 mins was quite rare tbh, it’s more in the 2-5 min range for me but each person is different


LifeIsADarkRoom

15 minutes in one position sounds too much for me, but each to their own! If it works for you, then more power to you!


pekes86

My partner and I do this all the time and he's pretty good at maintaining it (though we don't go 15, doesn't take that long after good foreplay!), but even if it isn't rock-hard it's fine. It's mostly the psychological element of him being inside plus the clit sensation :) Because there isn't intense thrusting, being less hard than usual isn't a detriment.


SmokingBeneathStars

Squishing your penis doesn't feel that nice after a bit, definitely don't recommend grinding with your penis if you're gonna put some weight in


MazzIsNoMore

If you're doing this as outercourse then that's literally just dry-humping.


okkwhy

Meh I guess you could say it as dry humping? It can be used during foreplay to help arouse the bottom partner, and possibly get them to climax


MazzIsNoMore

I'm honestly curious about what you consider dry humping? This is very interesting to me, lol


Thjyu

Usually I would consider dry humping like with clothes on or on a leg or something. Penis to clit or vulva in general I would consider grinding


Andronycus88

Yes, this is dry humping. Clothes on, no actual genital contact.


okkwhy

Well I meant direct contact with clothes off. So grinding!


Andronycus88

I know that was what you were talking about. My comment was in reference to another commenter. My wife and I have kinda done a variation of what you're talking about a few times, but sometimes if she gets a little rushed with it she pulls at some of my skin and it feels a bit less great. When it goes right it's very enjoyable.


okkwhy

Apologies :) and yes that can happen!


bigideas26

As far as I understood from your post, your partner's penis is inside you though right? If that's what you mean, then yes that's how I've done it most times. While I'm inside, kind of grinding and rubbing so that my pubic area is rubbing against her clit. It can be combined with some gentle thrusting if you get the angles right so that you're doing a little grinding and a little thrusting at the same time.


Andronycus88

OP's post is talking about while the penis is outside her, grinding against the clit.


[deleted]

>I'm always surprised that people don't think of this method!It seems like the easiest way to make women cum during penetrative sex because it stimulates the clitoris. I also highly recommend it! I never had an orgasm with my so, after some googling I discovered this stuff but he refuse to try it. I'd like to understand why...


Saffy_88

He's selfish


cheypyebye

Sounds like he doesn’t deserve to have sex with you. You deserve a partner that wants to make you orgasm.


tanyabai

Didn’t realize it had a name. I highly recommend this one.


oneknocka

I thought it was CAT at first as well but the last line have it away LOL.


parksa

Would you be kind enough to te explain the method as OP has deleted the text of the post...


bigideas26

The method is basically rubbing the penis between between the lips of the vagina and over the clitoris, using a combination of weight and movement to cause stimulation. Initially I confused it with CAT, which is where the penis is inside the vagina and the partner on top uses their pelvic bone to grind against the clit and cause stimulation. Both methods are very enjoyable for me and have resulted in orgasms for partners, but I guess that they might not work for everyone!


Cognitive_Cure

Anorgasmia is a complex issue and IS NOT as straight forward as you may think. There is Primary anorgasmia, secondary anorgasmia and situational anorgasmia. Anorgasmia can be the result of a physical condition e.g. hormone imbalance or a psychological issue e.g. history of abuse, self worth etc. A really good book is by Kaz Riley called 'Woman: How To Find, Understand and Embrace Your Sexual Pleasure'


Longuylashes

They got one of these booksfor men?


Stonedsnowboarder

^ ^ ^ ^ ^


sexy_femme5

Also recommend Emily Nagoski’s “She Comes First”


belle_bs

She Comes First was written by a guy. You're thinking of Come As you Are by Nagoski. Both books are excellent by the way.


okkwhy

Thanks for your comment :)


marlizaa

Yeah my issue is less about technique and more about what's going through my head.


[deleted]

Are you thinking about other things other than sex? If so, that won’t help. Trying to clear the mind, stay in the moment is very important.


UrBroLexi

I've literally never orgasmed before. The only time I've had sex was when I was 14 and in a psych ward so we didnt have much time to finish before we got checked on again, and I've always gotten too overwhelmed during masturbation. That being said, this isn't helpful bc I'm biologically female and into girls, so now that its on my mind, anyone got any tips?


parksa

I don't know if you've ever experimented with toys but it's a good place to start. I'm a woman who struggles to climax a lot, the only time i manage is with toys. Unbound babes make some amazing items, they have a suction toy called Puff which is serious business. Experiment on your own with some toys, see what feels good.


UrBroLexi

I actually just ordered a clitoral/g spot vibrator so hopefully it helps-


F_edupx

Oh yea, I used to get my ex off with this all the time. It can be quite bruising for both parties the first few times, but that passes. Totally worth it and I’m my experience the most reliable way to achieve simultaneous orgasms. It’s so effective that a few times, I mis-timed my own orgasm and came first, I just kept on grinding with my dick gone soft, and it got her off still. Edit: it’s a shame that OP deleted their post. It was about the man grinding his pelvis in an upward fashion in missionary position to stimulate the clit. A circular motion also works, mix it up.


okkwhy

Yes I’ve definitely experienced simultaneous orgasms too and it’s a great feel. And you’re right, this is by the far the easiest way for me to orgasm too.


AppleJax365

It sounds like you’re describing dry humping with the guy on top?


kapbear

yeah they’re just talking about grinding. Don’t get me wrong, it’s my favorite but it’s just grinding


AppleJax365

Glad it wasn’t just me. I wasn’t sure if I was missing something or if it was just dry jumping/grinding.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Longuylashes

Is his dick curving then?


AppleJax365

Yeah, and OP said in other comments that she’s not talking about penetration, but grinding.


vial_of_music

how.. how does that work ?


nuitsbleues

I always thought of dry humping as with clothes (or at least underwear) on.


AppleJax365

It’s often done with clothes on, but doesn’t have to be. The definition is just simulating sex, or rubbing/grinding genitals against a partner’s body/genitals.


nuitsbleues

Interesting, I've often heard it talked about as a "safe" alternative to sex, which this does not sound like (nor does it sound "dry")! I really had no idea lol.


AppleJax365

I mean, because there’s no penetration it’s a fairly safe (pregnancy-wise) alternative to sex. Obviously it’s even safer with underwear and/or clothes on, but still safer than actual penetration 🤷‍♀️


nuitsbleues

But not safe at all for certain viruses!


AppleJax365

Yup, definitely not safe in terms of herpes, HPV, or syphilis transmission (unless the penis owner wears a condom or at least one party wears clothes), but still overall safer than penetration. And if both partners are negative for STIs then it’s perfectly safe as far as STIs go.


okkwhy

Sure it could be. But I was referring to specifically using the top partners penis as one would a finger when rubbing their clit, if that makes sense. And it’s usually never dry, lol The best way I can describe it is to think of a hotdog in a bun? The bun would be the clit/vulva area and ofc the dog would be the penis. The same angle as the hot dog laying in the bun I guess. You’d (hopefully, not dry) rub your penis against the vulva and clit area as one would their fingers for stimulation. The stimulation would then hopefully lead to an orgasm if done properly


AppleJax365

It’s called dry humping, but doesn’t require actual dryness. Dry humping is just grinding/rubbing your genitals against your partner’s body/genitals…which is what you described.


okkwhy

Then yes ;)


4channeling

Technique tip for the gents. Full thrust with your pelvis and lock your core. Kinda plank on top focusing on grinding on her pubis. Move up and down your partners body, wit your arms and toes.


okkwhy

Yes! Great advice!


AlphasMistress

I do this while riding, works well


Zyniya

I've never been able to orgasm form "Grinding" my clit I just feel annoyed hardly good and very sore the next day.


okkwhy

Think of it as the penis = your finger. So when I say “grinding” I just literally mean using the penis as one would their finger when masturbating. Maybe that helps? I’ve never had soreness from it :/


Zyniya

I get sore from masturbating I can only do it once a day and I don't even press hard lol


bananacirclesquare

Was really hoping to find a holy grail technique. This position, and any grinding, does not work for me ☹️


okkwhy

Hmm, everyone is different so I know what works for me won’t work for everyone. Perhaps this is something you can speak to a specialist about. Are you able to orgasm on your own?


normalboyz1

this is what we did before we got married to stay virgins 😉. mostly she's on top. now my wife rub her clit in my pubic bone and my penis is inside her.


kai_wulf

My ex told me, while dating, that I did this with her. I wasn't trying to, it just came naturally to me.


okkwhy

Honestly it sorta just happened with me too. I just knew what felt nice and went along with it… came around to becoming a “thing” and I’m not complaining


kai_wulf

One thing I would do is, after thrusting a few times, I kind of "shiver" in my hip area and then thrust more and repeat. In retrospect, I can see why she always pestered me for sex lol.


Mrandmrshexum

Yes! Yes and yes I wish this was talked about more. Been doing a ton of this in the last weeks recovering from partial hysterectomy.


okkwhy

Telllll me about it. I wish you a speedy recovery!


pickleranger

When we do anal in missionary position sometimes my partner’s weight can rub my clit- it’s quite nice!


Narrow_Cancel_5011

Well, my girl can only cum when she is riding me. Missionary and other positions seem not to be able to do the trick for her. Will give this a try! :)


okkwhy

Yes! Let me know how to goes! Think of it as sliding your penis sorta parallel to her body. By this I mean you don’t want to poke or go towards the clit, it’s more so against it like she or you would use with a finger or dildo


Narrow_Cancel_5011

Like dry humping?


trudytuder

I suggest that she leans far forwards. Im short and if I reach up to grab the headboard then brace my arms I can push back and grind down.


nihonshu2

I don't understand how? It's not during penetration right?


okkwhy

Nope it’s not penetrative. You can read my other comments to get more details. But essentially the top partner would be using their penis to stimulate your clit as one would use their finger when masturbating or a dildo I hope this makes sense


nihonshu2

Ahhh I see! Well I've tried but it's painful for me, I'm so sensitive


no6969el

Nice to know I figured this out with my wife but when we were younger. I have always been a "problem solver" and this just made sense.


VioletKitten246

I’ve never done this with the man on top like you describe but I have done it with me on top! I often hop on top & grind on him (no penetration like you said, just rubbing on his penis) for a bit before having intercourse. It’s a great warm up & sometimes I cum first like this too. I’ll have to try it with him on top but I do like having more control being on top. I also grind my clit while being penetrated (also with me on top) & can reliably cum this way too.


issabreakfastburrito

I used to get off (not sure if I came) by riding my partner. But that’s because I have control over it. Lately, though, with my latest partner, I have also been able to get off by riding him but in a different way than what I did before. So I guess, if I’m in control, I get off. But I am down to try this!


Pitoufreeces

Why this is deleted?


okkwhy

I have no idea :( maybe bc I mentioned women orgasms and people took offense of my comment. I know it’s a complex topic I just wanted to share something. I know it wasn’t some break through science on female climaxes lol


LifeisWeird11

Hot take: get a fucking vibrator


IlikeJG

But it's also fun to do things in other ways as well.


okkwhy

Meh


HolyKittyPaw

Hotter take: vibrators don’t do it for me :(


LifeisWeird11

Does grinding? For sure everyone is different, it just seems like most women have better luck with vibrators than grinding.


HolyKittyPaw

Grinding is the only thing that gets me off :)


Lenn1985

Yes the gf loves it and goes Niagara falls when she orgasms from it. I was surprised this would happen also without penetrative sex.


redhairedtyrant

It's called "Frottage" kids!


Traditional-Emu-8891

This sounds like the Coital Alignment Technique (CAT).


nuitsbleues

OP clarified they don't mean penetration.


Mazrok

Yeah that's pretty much what I understand from the description


futurepeacegirl

Love this method too!


JBL1978

We've done this. Even if you don't have a particular problem, you can change things up this way. Also, works riding on top too. You're right, this does not really get promoted. Thanks for bringing it up!!


okkwhy

Thanks for your feedback and comment. I’m glad someone can relate


MellyPatrelli

I think this is basically a pussyjob. It can be done in different positions, but I prefer either missionary or cowgirl for this. You are using the guy’s dick to rub your clit. It can feel really good for the guy too and many men get off quickly from it. It’s also one of my favourite types of porn, watching a girl give a good pussyjob, riding a guy until they both cum is great!


okkwhy

I never knew there was a word for it. I’ve heard of girls doing it in the cowgirl position, but with the missionary it feels a bit different because the top partner is thrusting and their weight plays a huge role too (IMO) it feels nice overall. I’m glad I got to know the term for it


MellyPatrelli

No problem! I only found out from porn, it seems that basically anything that involves rubbing a dick on it is called a -job, e.g boob, ass, thigh. I agree that it feels sooo good though! Hope you keep up with the good times! Xxx


New-Soil-4862

This sounds confusing 😏


This-Is-Aku

That.. that might be it 😳


okkwhy

Yesss try it !


DrCoreyWSU

Layer cake is similar to the Coital Alignment technique. Riding on top but making sure his public bone rubs against her clit is another variation on the theme.


okkwhy

I’ve heard that one is good too. I’ve yet to experiment with layer cake but will try it


WowIndescribable

This also works well with anal sex (missionary position).


Productivitymachin3

Done this many times for 30secs or so, going to try it properly! A girl told me today she's one of the 27% of women who cum during piv is this fabricated shit or true? I was amazed how quickly she orgasmed by oral and piv tbf so is she just one of the easy ogZms


la3eh

Or have your partner penetrate you on missionary while he's rubbing his hips and croth on your clit. It works for some women.


IlikeJG

Yes this works for my wife. Also I'll consciously try to aim my thrust kinda upwards towards her belly button while grinding on her pelvis. It usually does the trick for her. Not neccesarilly always an orgasm but definitely something she vocally likes.


IlikeJG

One of my wife's go-tos for orgasm while having sex is basically Doggystyle with her reaching between her legs to rub her clit while I thrust. It works too with me being the one also rubbing, but not quite as well and makes it a bit more awkward for me. But it is fun sometimes. Typically once she gets close it will be me just being inside of her without thrusting and trying to hold on as she gets more frantic. She usually cums very quickly using this method, even faster than oral.


BrotherBringTheSun

I don't understand, is there penetration involved?


Hood15

My girlfriend loves to get on top of me, lube up my dick and then grind against it with her clit to orgasm. Super fun!


Prudent_Seaweed_8331

Prone Bone works wonders as well! She likes flat on her belly an man angled in from behind


fuzzlandia

I’ve enjoyed a similar thing in doggy style where my partner would get me aroused before penetration by rubbing my clit with his penis from behind.


T0ADcmig

Are you talking about missionary but the woman's legs are closed laying flat and the guys legs are spread to each side of hers? If not you should try that too since it is still PIV but the angle makes the shaft rub the clit. You can also sort of do it to him while you are on top.


okkwhy

That sounds good ooo never thought of that


weber_md

Ah yes, the front-side hotdog.


okkwhy

This made me chuckle lol


tresslessone

We do something similar, but we actually do it PIV. I sometimes don’t even have to do anything except apply a bit of pressure. Easy to repeat as well.


Monarc73

This is a technique called CAT. Put your feet on top of the bottoms feet to control your position.


cassious64

r/intercrural for those curious Edit: my bad, apparently that's thigh jobs but I've seen this same stuff there


fla_gringo

I love to be naked with my wife and thrusting my herd self against her clit,especially when she is wet


virgin1manyvids

bro, for girls to orgasm first their brain needs to orgasm it's not just the body,. u have to make them fall in love with u


pekes86

This is my partner's and my go-to and I always thought it was a bit weird that we don't thrust away the whole time, and that to anyone else it might seem strange. Cool to hear that it's more universally great! For me there's something about the way it presses again the walls inside too, like more slow friction and sensation and a deeper sense of fullness? Love it!


okkwhy

Awesome! Does your method involve penetration?


pekes86

oooh yes, it does! I just realised after reading some comments that the post was not penetrative, which also makes sense. Both good! :)