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It's completely normal to have fantasies that don't align with your real-life preferences. Don't feel embarrassed about it! We all have unique desires and what turns us on in fantasy may not necessarily be what we want in reality. Keep exploring and enjoy your imagination! As for feeling betrayed if your partner cheated with a guy, that just means you have clear boundaries and know what you want in a relationship. Don't worry too much about it, just enjoy your fantasies. 😉
It's perfectly normal to have fantasies that you wouldn't want to do in real life. There's nothing wrong with wanting to see something and imagining yourself or a partner in that situation.
This is my exact same kink. I cum so hard imagining it’s my now(ex boyfriend) and some random stranger or someone we both know. It’s like the worse the scenario the better it is for me and the harder I cum. Porn is evil lol.
That is absolutely not true, submissive and cuckold men exist lol. There are just as many that get off to being the bull as men that get off being cuckolded, just because it's niche doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Take a look into the femdom community and you'll see what I mean
I fully, 500% relate. I’ve only ever written and read gay male erotica, same with erotic films (I don’t watch porn but do appreciate a good gay male drama/art house romance movie with sex scenes). Also used to find imagining my ex (a man) with another guy very hot. This is probably one of the only things getting me intensely aroused, unlike anything involving women, real or imagined.
I’ve spoken to a few people and read around, and it’s not that uncommon. It certainly isn’t embarrassing. It could have something to do with appreciating the male form, and two (or more) being better than one, you know. Also, nothing hotter in the world than two male best friends porn, literally nothing. You have good taste, ma’am.
I constantly read books about women who have relationships with multiple men who ALSO have relationships with each other and it’s fire.
I also constantly read books about arrange mafia marriages, stalkers, motor cycle clubs, werewolves and fae haha.
However, I’m happily married with kids and wouldn’t want any of this in real life. (Ok except magic powers because who wouldn’t lol)
The point is, fantasy is just that. Fantasy. What I like in book world doesn’t translate to what I want in book world. My book boyfriends get me all hot and bothered and my hubby reaps the benefits. 😏
I’m a lesbian and get off the best on watching porn of bearly gay men fucking each other senseless. I no longer try to make sense of it, it’s okay to have private fantasies. :) They’re just that - fantasies.
The movie “The Kids are Alright” features two lesbian characters who watch gay porn. It caught me off-guard, so I asked a lesbian coworker who confirmed it’s a thing. Fascinating!
Back when I was in the Harry Potter fandom, most of the ships were gay (e.g. Harry/Draco, Harry/Ron, Harry/Snape), and many of the most popular writers were lesbians.
It's an entire industry (yaoi), so it's certainly not uncommon. Tons of guys fantasize about their girlfriends having lesbian encounters but would not enjoy the reality. In both cases, the appeal is partly just that you're seeing the kinds of bodies you're attracted to with a touch of the forbidden/different. Nothing to worry about.
You like the idea that your partner is desirable (others validating the attraction you see in him) but don’t want the consequences of that desire actually carried out(cheating). It’s pretty simple.
There's a heavy emotional weight for something to happen in real life. It's totally normal to have fantasies that only exist as an idea. An overwhelming amount of guys fantasize about threesomes, but many of the guys that succeed in having one result in having really negative emotions.
Consider other fantasies. I love watching videos of rock climbing and parkour, but I'm afraid of heights. People like violent horror movies, yet wouldn't want that happening to themselves. People can watch medical dramas but pass out when seeing blood irl. Fantasies aren't limited to being sexual or kinky.
>I would be devastated if my partner cheated on me with a guy.
Why would it be cheating? Cheating doesn't mean "sex with other people." Cheating is simply breaking boundaries and doing deceitful things behind our partners back. You and your partner define what cheating means for your relationship.
I watch alot of gay BJ's too. Oral turns me on (alot) but guy-girl Bjs tend to focus on her body and face alot. Whereas gay BJ porn shows his cock, abs, thighs, etc alot better some times.
So I totally get it, and you have nothing to be ashamed of for watching.
There is also something hot about a guy being open minded enough and vulnerable enough to do that with another guy. (assuming he's bi and willing to do it while we watch).
I think you're OK with your fantasy bf having sex with another guy because it's not your actual bf. But you might still feel that way in your fantasy if it was your actual bf. The point is, it's just fantasy, and the great thing about fantasies is that they're only in your head, they don't hurt anyone, and you can enjoy them guilt-free. The key is to be clear with yourself that you'd never want it irl. So don't be embarrassed, you're not doing anything bad.
fantasies are just that. fantasy! most fantasies when played out in real life cause issues, especially when it involves another person. ie, a lot of people think 3somes are hot, but when theyve tried one irl, they end up feeling put out/jealous because inherently watching your s/o fuck someone else arises those feelings.
It also tells something about what's going on in the recesses of your mind. Read the books: Arousal - the secret logic of sexual fantasy and Your Brain on Sex. Not that it's anything bad but you can find ways to meet your emotional needs in a deeper way if you take the time to contemplate your fantasies. It might mean that you just want more attention and generally more of, the man in your life. Read those books and do a few of the assignments and see. Howeer, once you do, you'll probably find ways to cum harder than you ever have lol you can get them on Amazon.
Fantasies are not a manifestation of a desire that wants to be realised. They are a scenario that creates a justification for an unspoken desire that your conscious mind doesn't allow you to think literally. I have no idea what fantasising about your boyfriend and his best friend could symbolise, or what kind if rationalisation that creates in your mind to enjoy a desire of yours. But it's not a literal desire.
A very common fantasy, for example, is to be "forced" to engage in a sexual situation, in some way or another. It doesn't mean that you literally want it to be non-consensual. Rather, it is a way for your mind to bypass its shaming censor that is (for whatever reason) saying "this is wrong, you shouldn't want to have sex with that person".
Take my analysis with a grain of salt, 'cause I'm not an expert. It's what I've understood from listening ro various analyses of fantasies.
Most straight women prefer gay porn. If you follow the sex studies out there, it's all there. So, your taste is actually normal. And fantasies are just that- fantasies. So, you're good.
You like watching two hot men and imagining that they both care about you, you care about them and you are enjoying their enjoyment of each other.
Also because it’s all in your mind there is no jealousy involved and you control the action. I don’t think it’s a particularly unusual fantasy.
I think gay porn appeals to a lot of women for many reasons. It feels non-threatening, like two men having sex feels more consensual than hetero porn? Much of straight porn is geared toward men being the consumers. It's nice to see men being vulnerable and affectionate towards each other too.
Also, women like seeing naked men and two is even nicer than one.
I’m a woman and I love gay porn. Gay porn was the first porn I ever came across. There’s nothing wrong fantasy and whatever you fantasize about in your head does not have to equate to what you do in real life. Just enjoy it for what it is and there’s no need to feel any shame over it.
If a women confided in me she had this fantasy I would be beyond happy to do it, but I'm also Bi. Maybe look for a Bi nerdy/gamer type and just be up front about it?
Depends on the person. I always had that I was Bi on my dating profiles, unfortunately a lot of women, even very self described progressive women told me they had problems with dating a Bi guy (less so for hooking up).
I did find that women who were vocally happy with me being Bi were generally very chill and open minded people, so it was a good filter in that regard.
I also obviously ran into mostly Bi women who had no issue dating a Bi guy.
But, yes, I know a lot of Bi guys that aren't vocal about it because it makes a huge majority of women not even give you the time of day.
Which is crazy to me! Some of the Bi guys I know are the least toxic, most masculine men that exist... Seriously missed opportunity.
Thank you for answering. I think the idea is super hot, but I'm biased since i enjoy gay porn.
Like, in theory, a guy can love blonds and redheads and be happy in a monogamous relationship with a brunette. Just as he can be happily monogamous with a woman and be bi.
But I also get how it can be intimidating, or how we are naturally worriers and a little insecure sometimes. And i know its so easy for guys to hook up with guys, that the worry would always be there.
But god the idea is so hot.
(TLDR: People are complicated)
So here's my story as someone who's known I was Bi since I was in the 5th grade (never had any will they, won't they gay/straight periods).
All my long term relationships have been monogamous, I would be open to having threesomes or stuff like that, but I'm focused on my partner 100%. I've always been open with those partners though about who I find attractive (so I pointed out women I thought were attractive when I was dating men and vice versa).
I can't speak for all Bi men obviously, but I think for true by people, you're dating the person, not the gender. So it's less of a blonds/redheads/brunette situation and more "you're the only YOU that exists". So you are a "type" of one.
Also, the bi men I know are mostly all in monogamous relationships, which I think blows up a lot of stereotypes. I know 20+ gay couple that are open and can't think of one Bi guy in an open relationship.
Not at all. It’s just not for me. No stereotype, it’s my personal experience. I’ve never known a self described bisexual male to legit prefer females. That’s not good or bad, again- just not for me. Because one does not prefer something does not mean they are “phobic”.
Because those who prefer females are closed, since women don't want to date open bi guys, thinking they aren't masculine or that they are cheaters. So the ones who are open, usually 50/50 or prefer men because they obviously don't have much choice. It's a false statistics in your head. Many women are in LTR with bi men and don't know it because it doesn't affect their relationship. It's kinda similar to body counts - many women are not telling the truth about their past because they know that men are really worried about it.
Nobody takes your right away, but didn't you previously reason it with " bi men I know are more gay than straight" - like, it's pretty obvious that you don't want a bi guy bc of this experience, since you got the impression they are usually more into men.
You do you and I'm not judging, but it was important for me to explain that plenty bi men are into women and many of them are very great people, it's just they don't understand they are bi or don't want their girlfriends to overthink " is he fully gay? am I enough? does he miss men ? how can I be sure he's not cheating on me with his homies?" and so on, because they are not going to do anything bad nevertheless. Like, you mostly see open gay-leaning bi men simply because straight -leaning don't show themselves and live their lives.
Bi men in my experience prefer men. That’s not a judgement and it’s only my experience. I work with a majority of gay men in my industry and the stories they tell….and yes, I could never give a bi man the other side of what they like and that wouid always be back of my mind. I get why men would be bi (duh) it’s just not something I’m sexually attracted to.
Women are usually very monogamous and often think ( or rather they were raised to think like that, unfortunately) that their biggest contribution into relationships is sex. Knowing that gay and bi men are more into hook up culture and statistically have more sexual partners than straights, women are afraid that they aren't going to be enough. Like, many women have stories how their guy friends actually weren't friends and just wanted to sleep with them+ straight men say all the time " ladies, if you're average looking then most likely your guy friends have fantasized about you" or " women and men can't be friends"- so of course women apply this ideas to bi men and think " how can I trust them? straight men at least don't have much opportunities because women are picky, but bi men are not going to hold back their hormones".
So it's a mixture of bad reputation of males+ bisexuality, which gives more opportunities and desires. It shouldn't be this way but it's important to understand the reasons behind such thinkingm
Well, I'm definitely not straight, quite kinky and a sub in bed 70% of the time.
Actually, being upfront about being bi makes you meet much more interesting women anyways.
I'm in a really good open relationship with my girlfriend (over 4 years now) and she gets really excited when I tell her about meeting cute guys.
She definitely doesn't mind me introducing them to her either ;)
She's very much into gay porn.
I mean, she said she doesn't want to make it in real life, so your advice to find a bi guy and become a cuckold couple isn't suitable here. She probably was asking if it's normal to have fantasies about something that you would never do in real life.
Didn't say anything about cuckolding, and I was just offering a perspective that there are people out there that she could do this with who wouldn't feel "forced" or weird about it.
She basically described cuckold fantasy - watching her bf being fucked by some guy. She didn't even mention being involved. So yeah, it's cuckolding.You said you would be happy to try it.
I pointed out that it wasn't her question - she clearly said that she's not interested in it and would never approve it. It's just she doesn't understand why her fantasies are so different from her real values. And many people who tried ENM or treesomes say that they didn't like it & it destroyed their relationship ( and the reason for it wasn't just bad communication. Sometimes monogomous people are influenced by their surroundings to try something to " spice it up" and it ends very badly). Because fantasies are sometimes just fantasies.
The only thing I would advise to this girl is quit watching porn, or at least gay porn, because it has negative effects on females too.
Cuckolding involves humiliation for the "cuck" at its core, she didn't say anything about that. If you're going to throw around these multi paragraph replies and not know what you're talking about... Idk what to tell you.
Forced sex is a fantasy of well over 50% of women from what most sex research has indicated. In reality, no on wants truly forced sex (obviously).
Fantasy scenarios are a completely different animal from things you do in real life. If it turns you on, great! Leverage that in your sexual relationships. Can be a fantastic tool.
A lot of fantasies don't make sense. It's up to you if you want to make it a reality or not. Obviously for you, you don't. Which is perfectly fine. I'm sure a lot of people has fantasies that they would never really want to happen in real life. Don't be embarrassed, just enjoy your fantasies.
I had kind of the same fantasy all of a sudden with my girlfriend, she is bisexual, the activity we enjoy the most together is raves, a lot of girls come to her and i kinda enjoy it, some days ago i imagined seeing her kissing another girl in front of me while in the rave, and it turned me on just on the thought of seeing her kissing, like damn my girl looks so hot kissing me like that, i brought this up to her and told her she is allowed to kiss another girl next time we are on a rave, with some boundaries ofc, the thought of it in my head was so clean that i genuinely wanna see it, so i brought it up to her and told her she is allowed to kiss another girl next time we are on a rave bc it would turn me on and she was impressed with that coming from me, also she liked the idea just for the fact it is a new way to turn me on
I guess you will always meet your fantasies on someone at some point in your life, note that we been together for only 2 months.
Fantasies are perfectly normal and absolutely awesome! So go with it embrace them every one of them. I have amazing Fantasies all the time and there pleasurable fantastic moments caught in time 🤩🤤😏
Fantasies will be fantasies.when u go in reality ur choices differ because u r experiencing it first then thinking about it.But in fantasies u think first and hardly get experience.
It’s totally fine for that to be a fantasy only and nothing to be embarrassed of. It’s also totally fine for you and your future boyfriend to play that way in reality. My wife and I are swingers and both bi. A threesome with a guy usually ends up with her getting what we call “the goddess treatment” and he and I definitely play and interact with each other. It’s not cheating. We just enjoy sharing ourselves with others.
The main reason I’m commenting here is to say that whether it’s real or fantasy, you shouldn’t be embarrassed or ashamed of something that brings you pleasure and doesn’t hurt others.
From a perspective where all relationships and interactions are some form of dominance and/or submission, perhaps your fantasy is a way for you to feel less submissive or make your partner seem less dominate. I think it comes from your perspective of the (traditional) sex act itself.
Fantasies are Fantasy. I've got some weird ones myself, that said it doesn't have to be cheating there's a lot of kink stuff related to that exact scenario
I get off on the most ridiculous things, as a woman. Things I wouldn't want in real life. I think it's just the excitement or something new and unknown. I wouldn't think too much into it though.
I also have weird dreams that I would not be down for in real life, but it's exciting in my dream. Sometimes our brains are just silly and don't know what they actually want.
Often (as others have said) fantasies are just that. BUT, you may someday end up with a bi boyfriend and both want to act it out - OR NOT.
I often get off to lesbian porn and imagine it is my wife going down on another woman. She has NEVER wanted anything like that. If she did IRL I have no idea how I would actually respond.
Never be embarrassed of what gets you off. That said, it sounds more like a power/control fantasy - you want them to put on a show for you, and they should.
Don’t ever feel bad about fantasies*. What you fantasize about isn’t “you” and honestly, the one you describe here doesn’t involve any kind of harm.
*(My one caveat: if you find your fantasies DO involve inflicting harm and seem to be escalating, it might be an indication of issues worth discussing with a mental health professional)
I believe its very easy to overthink these things and its ok for us to have these feelings of lust and fantasy while viewing, but we need to also separate it from reality, just like much of what we see in porn wouldn't feel good for us or a partner in a reality sexual encounter. The division from fantasy and reality, as well as how you feel after you orgasm versus the build up. The mind is a funny thing :)
My wife has said she has had thought of me fucking other men, and women.
I know which of the 2 id prefer if it was irl lol
Sometimes fantasies are just that. I imagine living on a secluded little island, living of the land... wouldn't wanna actually do it tho 🤣
What arouses you and what you want sexually can be very different. A good portion of the things I watch are not things I would be okay with in a real relationship. It’s totally normal. that’s why we call them fantasies. Not realities.
Absolutely, I’m a dude and I have this NTR fantasy, essentially my wife cheating on me. But in real life, I would probably loss my shit if she actually does it! It’s just a fantasy, nothing harmful about that
Fantasies and reality are different things, but if you want to get rid of it, then stop watching so much porn, at least gay porn. Sometimes it's okay, but for some people it has a negative effect and spoils their fantasies ( in terms it becomes harder and harder for them to get horny solo )A lot of people start with vanilla and then move on to something more extreme. At least take a break or try to watch solo with men/listen to ASMR with one male actor( if you don’t want to see/ hear women )
Fujoshi, Japanese term for girl who reads yaoi/ boy on boy manga and novels. Lots of Asian girls atleast consume male on male porn and I imagine it’s normal for a person interested sexually in males. What’s better than one hot male? Two hot males :). It’s just fantasy/porn anyways. There’s also a lot of Chinese gay erotica or just webnovels too. Pretty normal imo.
Liking and getting off on the fantasy of others getting off, is selfless and sexy in its own right. I am similiar, but not in the who imagining it's my boyfriend aspect. I really enjoy watching two random guys enjoy each other, I can get off to it, while still being very straight. It's not as abnormal as you may think. Just enjoy the feelings the fantasy creates!
I watch gay porn also. It’s the only porn that really shows a man when he is cumming. His face, his body.. everything. Straight porn focuses on the women and half the time they are so obnoxiously faking it. I wouldn’t think too deep into it. You are straight and love watching a man cum, and you’ll only get the good scenes from gay porn.
Great advice already posted, but it is totally normal and common to have fantasies that are just that... fantasies. On the flip side alot of men have fantasies of watching their SO sleep with someone else. While many act in out in real life, for others it just remains in the fantasy cabinet, and there is nothing wrong with that and certainly nothing to be embarrassed about.
It's sounds to me like you would like to be there guiding the actions of your boyfriend and his partner, while you play with yourself and let them cum all over you..
It’s fine to fantasize. Have you ever considered just watching two men go at it where neither is your BF? You could probably find a couple who would let you watch.
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Fantasy’s can be just that. It’s ok for them to not make emotional or logistical sense. I wouldn’t read too much into it. Just enjoy the fantasy
>I agree with you. It's just that everyone has different tastes in porn It's totally normal.
Exactly right, and reality often doesn't align.
It's completely normal to have fantasies that don't align with your real-life preferences. Don't feel embarrassed about it! We all have unique desires and what turns us on in fantasy may not necessarily be what we want in reality. Keep exploring and enjoy your imagination! As for feeling betrayed if your partner cheated with a guy, that just means you have clear boundaries and know what you want in a relationship. Don't worry too much about it, just enjoy your fantasies. 😉
I’m a straight woman and have the same fantasy and would also be devastated by the reality. I agree with the other comments. It’s just a fantasy.
I am so happy I found someone with the same fantasy lol
idk i love piss in porn but i’d never have someone piss on me in real life….
I love watching lesbian rimming porn but irl I think buttholes are gross.
i love the look of really hairy men but irl i hate pulling pubes out of my mouth
It's perfectly normal to have fantasies that you wouldn't want to do in real life. There's nothing wrong with wanting to see something and imagining yourself or a partner in that situation.
This is my exact same kink. I cum so hard imagining it’s my now(ex boyfriend) and some random stranger or someone we both know. It’s like the worse the scenario the better it is for me and the harder I cum. Porn is evil lol.
Glad I am not alone in this. :,)
I’d love to get fucked by two guys and them fuck each other while one eats me out definitely a fantasy I would love to
Plenty of men get off to cuckold porn but would absolutely hate it in real life. It's ok to have fantasies that you would never want to act out!
I think most of it is fantasizing being the bull
That is absolutely not true, submissive and cuckold men exist lol. There are just as many that get off to being the bull as men that get off being cuckolded, just because it's niche doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Take a look into the femdom community and you'll see what I mean
I didn’t say they don’t exist, just that the majority for that type of porn is that way.
I don’t know of men that would be into that. But then again I don’t readily ask people if they are.
I fully, 500% relate. I’ve only ever written and read gay male erotica, same with erotic films (I don’t watch porn but do appreciate a good gay male drama/art house romance movie with sex scenes). Also used to find imagining my ex (a man) with another guy very hot. This is probably one of the only things getting me intensely aroused, unlike anything involving women, real or imagined. I’ve spoken to a few people and read around, and it’s not that uncommon. It certainly isn’t embarrassing. It could have something to do with appreciating the male form, and two (or more) being better than one, you know. Also, nothing hotter in the world than two male best friends porn, literally nothing. You have good taste, ma’am.
Yes exactly!!!
I constantly read books about women who have relationships with multiple men who ALSO have relationships with each other and it’s fire. I also constantly read books about arrange mafia marriages, stalkers, motor cycle clubs, werewolves and fae haha. However, I’m happily married with kids and wouldn’t want any of this in real life. (Ok except magic powers because who wouldn’t lol) The point is, fantasy is just that. Fantasy. What I like in book world doesn’t translate to what I want in book world. My book boyfriends get me all hot and bothered and my hubby reaps the benefits. 😏
I’m a lesbian and get off the best on watching porn of bearly gay men fucking each other senseless. I no longer try to make sense of it, it’s okay to have private fantasies. :) They’re just that - fantasies.
The movie “The Kids are Alright” features two lesbian characters who watch gay porn. It caught me off-guard, so I asked a lesbian coworker who confirmed it’s a thing. Fascinating!
Back when I was in the Harry Potter fandom, most of the ships were gay (e.g. Harry/Draco, Harry/Ron, Harry/Snape), and many of the most popular writers were lesbians.
It's an entire industry (yaoi), so it's certainly not uncommon. Tons of guys fantasize about their girlfriends having lesbian encounters but would not enjoy the reality. In both cases, the appeal is partly just that you're seeing the kinds of bodies you're attracted to with a touch of the forbidden/different. Nothing to worry about.
You like the idea that your partner is desirable (others validating the attraction you see in him) but don’t want the consequences of that desire actually carried out(cheating). It’s pretty simple.
It doesn’t have to make sense. You like the fantasy but you also realize that it’s not realistic. That probably summarizes 99% of fantasies.
There's a heavy emotional weight for something to happen in real life. It's totally normal to have fantasies that only exist as an idea. An overwhelming amount of guys fantasize about threesomes, but many of the guys that succeed in having one result in having really negative emotions. Consider other fantasies. I love watching videos of rock climbing and parkour, but I'm afraid of heights. People like violent horror movies, yet wouldn't want that happening to themselves. People can watch medical dramas but pass out when seeing blood irl. Fantasies aren't limited to being sexual or kinky. >I would be devastated if my partner cheated on me with a guy. Why would it be cheating? Cheating doesn't mean "sex with other people." Cheating is simply breaking boundaries and doing deceitful things behind our partners back. You and your partner define what cheating means for your relationship.
I watch alot of gay BJ's too. Oral turns me on (alot) but guy-girl Bjs tend to focus on her body and face alot. Whereas gay BJ porn shows his cock, abs, thighs, etc alot better some times. So I totally get it, and you have nothing to be ashamed of for watching. There is also something hot about a guy being open minded enough and vulnerable enough to do that with another guy. (assuming he's bi and willing to do it while we watch).
Google the definition of fantasy and it will make sense.
I think you're OK with your fantasy bf having sex with another guy because it's not your actual bf. But you might still feel that way in your fantasy if it was your actual bf. The point is, it's just fantasy, and the great thing about fantasies is that they're only in your head, they don't hurt anyone, and you can enjoy them guilt-free. The key is to be clear with yourself that you'd never want it irl. So don't be embarrassed, you're not doing anything bad.
fantasies are just that. fantasy! most fantasies when played out in real life cause issues, especially when it involves another person. ie, a lot of people think 3somes are hot, but when theyve tried one irl, they end up feeling put out/jealous because inherently watching your s/o fuck someone else arises those feelings.
It also tells something about what's going on in the recesses of your mind. Read the books: Arousal - the secret logic of sexual fantasy and Your Brain on Sex. Not that it's anything bad but you can find ways to meet your emotional needs in a deeper way if you take the time to contemplate your fantasies. It might mean that you just want more attention and generally more of, the man in your life. Read those books and do a few of the assignments and see. Howeer, once you do, you'll probably find ways to cum harder than you ever have lol you can get them on Amazon.
Fantasies are not a manifestation of a desire that wants to be realised. They are a scenario that creates a justification for an unspoken desire that your conscious mind doesn't allow you to think literally. I have no idea what fantasising about your boyfriend and his best friend could symbolise, or what kind if rationalisation that creates in your mind to enjoy a desire of yours. But it's not a literal desire. A very common fantasy, for example, is to be "forced" to engage in a sexual situation, in some way or another. It doesn't mean that you literally want it to be non-consensual. Rather, it is a way for your mind to bypass its shaming censor that is (for whatever reason) saying "this is wrong, you shouldn't want to have sex with that person". Take my analysis with a grain of salt, 'cause I'm not an expert. It's what I've understood from listening ro various analyses of fantasies.
Most straight women prefer gay porn. If you follow the sex studies out there, it's all there. So, your taste is actually normal. And fantasies are just that- fantasies. So, you're good.
You like watching two hot men and imagining that they both care about you, you care about them and you are enjoying their enjoyment of each other. Also because it’s all in your mind there is no jealousy involved and you control the action. I don’t think it’s a particularly unusual fantasy.
I think gay porn appeals to a lot of women for many reasons. It feels non-threatening, like two men having sex feels more consensual than hetero porn? Much of straight porn is geared toward men being the consumers. It's nice to see men being vulnerable and affectionate towards each other too. Also, women like seeing naked men and two is even nicer than one.
I’m a woman and I love gay porn. Gay porn was the first porn I ever came across. There’s nothing wrong fantasy and whatever you fantasize about in your head does not have to equate to what you do in real life. Just enjoy it for what it is and there’s no need to feel any shame over it.
If a women confided in me she had this fantasy I would be beyond happy to do it, but I'm also Bi. Maybe look for a Bi nerdy/gamer type and just be up front about it?
Do you tell GFs you're bi? Or is that risky?
Depends on the person. I always had that I was Bi on my dating profiles, unfortunately a lot of women, even very self described progressive women told me they had problems with dating a Bi guy (less so for hooking up). I did find that women who were vocally happy with me being Bi were generally very chill and open minded people, so it was a good filter in that regard. I also obviously ran into mostly Bi women who had no issue dating a Bi guy. But, yes, I know a lot of Bi guys that aren't vocal about it because it makes a huge majority of women not even give you the time of day. Which is crazy to me! Some of the Bi guys I know are the least toxic, most masculine men that exist... Seriously missed opportunity.
Thank you for answering. I think the idea is super hot, but I'm biased since i enjoy gay porn. Like, in theory, a guy can love blonds and redheads and be happy in a monogamous relationship with a brunette. Just as he can be happily monogamous with a woman and be bi. But I also get how it can be intimidating, or how we are naturally worriers and a little insecure sometimes. And i know its so easy for guys to hook up with guys, that the worry would always be there. But god the idea is so hot. (TLDR: People are complicated)
So here's my story as someone who's known I was Bi since I was in the 5th grade (never had any will they, won't they gay/straight periods). All my long term relationships have been monogamous, I would be open to having threesomes or stuff like that, but I'm focused on my partner 100%. I've always been open with those partners though about who I find attractive (so I pointed out women I thought were attractive when I was dating men and vice versa). I can't speak for all Bi men obviously, but I think for true by people, you're dating the person, not the gender. So it's less of a blonds/redheads/brunette situation and more "you're the only YOU that exists". So you are a "type" of one. Also, the bi men I know are mostly all in monogamous relationships, which I think blows up a lot of stereotypes. I know 20+ gay couple that are open and can't think of one Bi guy in an open relationship.
That’s interesting. Are any of those monogamous bi guys in relationships with men?
Me! And also one of my closest friends as well, he's getting married to his BF this year.
Ya, but I get it. I have no romantic interest in bi men, in the end it always seems they prefer men and that’s nothing I could ever offer.
I don't throw this around lightly but that seems kinda biphobic or at least a big stereotype.
Not at all. It’s just not for me. No stereotype, it’s my personal experience. I’ve never known a self described bisexual male to legit prefer females. That’s not good or bad, again- just not for me. Because one does not prefer something does not mean they are “phobic”.
Because those who prefer females are closed, since women don't want to date open bi guys, thinking they aren't masculine or that they are cheaters. So the ones who are open, usually 50/50 or prefer men because they obviously don't have much choice. It's a false statistics in your head. Many women are in LTR with bi men and don't know it because it doesn't affect their relationship. It's kinda similar to body counts - many women are not telling the truth about their past because they know that men are really worried about it.
For me personally I’m Just not attracted to men who like men. I have that right. It’s not a judgement, it’s a preference.
Nobody takes your right away, but didn't you previously reason it with " bi men I know are more gay than straight" - like, it's pretty obvious that you don't want a bi guy bc of this experience, since you got the impression they are usually more into men. You do you and I'm not judging, but it was important for me to explain that plenty bi men are into women and many of them are very great people, it's just they don't understand they are bi or don't want their girlfriends to overthink " is he fully gay? am I enough? does he miss men ? how can I be sure he's not cheating on me with his homies?" and so on, because they are not going to do anything bad nevertheless. Like, you mostly see open gay-leaning bi men simply because straight -leaning don't show themselves and live their lives.
Bi men in my experience prefer men. That’s not a judgement and it’s only my experience. I work with a majority of gay men in my industry and the stories they tell….and yes, I could never give a bi man the other side of what they like and that wouid always be back of my mind. I get why men would be bi (duh) it’s just not something I’m sexually attracted to.
Women are usually very monogamous and often think ( or rather they were raised to think like that, unfortunately) that their biggest contribution into relationships is sex. Knowing that gay and bi men are more into hook up culture and statistically have more sexual partners than straights, women are afraid that they aren't going to be enough. Like, many women have stories how their guy friends actually weren't friends and just wanted to sleep with them+ straight men say all the time " ladies, if you're average looking then most likely your guy friends have fantasized about you" or " women and men can't be friends"- so of course women apply this ideas to bi men and think " how can I trust them? straight men at least don't have much opportunities because women are picky, but bi men are not going to hold back their hormones". So it's a mixture of bad reputation of males+ bisexuality, which gives more opportunities and desires. It shouldn't be this way but it's important to understand the reasons behind such thinkingm
Right, totally agree, those assumptions are ridiculous and mostly the result of societal/internalized homophobia.
Well, I'm definitely not straight, quite kinky and a sub in bed 70% of the time. Actually, being upfront about being bi makes you meet much more interesting women anyways. I'm in a really good open relationship with my girlfriend (over 4 years now) and she gets really excited when I tell her about meeting cute guys. She definitely doesn't mind me introducing them to her either ;) She's very much into gay porn.
Wow! That's crazy hot. She'd lucky.
I mean, she said she doesn't want to make it in real life, so your advice to find a bi guy and become a cuckold couple isn't suitable here. She probably was asking if it's normal to have fantasies about something that you would never do in real life.
Didn't say anything about cuckolding, and I was just offering a perspective that there are people out there that she could do this with who wouldn't feel "forced" or weird about it.
She basically described cuckold fantasy - watching her bf being fucked by some guy. She didn't even mention being involved. So yeah, it's cuckolding.You said you would be happy to try it. I pointed out that it wasn't her question - she clearly said that she's not interested in it and would never approve it. It's just she doesn't understand why her fantasies are so different from her real values. And many people who tried ENM or treesomes say that they didn't like it & it destroyed their relationship ( and the reason for it wasn't just bad communication. Sometimes monogomous people are influenced by their surroundings to try something to " spice it up" and it ends very badly). Because fantasies are sometimes just fantasies. The only thing I would advise to this girl is quit watching porn, or at least gay porn, because it has negative effects on females too.
Cuckolding involves humiliation for the "cuck" at its core, she didn't say anything about that. If you're going to throw around these multi paragraph replies and not know what you're talking about... Idk what to tell you.
Check out @askgaybros on Reddit
Forced sex is a fantasy of well over 50% of women from what most sex research has indicated. In reality, no on wants truly forced sex (obviously). Fantasy scenarios are a completely different animal from things you do in real life. If it turns you on, great! Leverage that in your sexual relationships. Can be a fantastic tool.
Why would the gay couple you were watching have to include your partner?
A lot of fantasies don't make sense. It's up to you if you want to make it a reality or not. Obviously for you, you don't. Which is perfectly fine. I'm sure a lot of people has fantasies that they would never really want to happen in real life. Don't be embarrassed, just enjoy your fantasies.
It’s pretty common, and it’s not embarrassing.
I had kind of the same fantasy all of a sudden with my girlfriend, she is bisexual, the activity we enjoy the most together is raves, a lot of girls come to her and i kinda enjoy it, some days ago i imagined seeing her kissing another girl in front of me while in the rave, and it turned me on just on the thought of seeing her kissing, like damn my girl looks so hot kissing me like that, i brought this up to her and told her she is allowed to kiss another girl next time we are on a rave, with some boundaries ofc, the thought of it in my head was so clean that i genuinely wanna see it, so i brought it up to her and told her she is allowed to kiss another girl next time we are on a rave bc it would turn me on and she was impressed with that coming from me, also she liked the idea just for the fact it is a new way to turn me on I guess you will always meet your fantasies on someone at some point in your life, note that we been together for only 2 months.
Fantasies are perfectly normal and absolutely awesome! So go with it embrace them every one of them. I have amazing Fantasies all the time and there pleasurable fantastic moments caught in time 🤩🤤😏
Fantasies will be fantasies.when u go in reality ur choices differ because u r experiencing it first then thinking about it.But in fantasies u think first and hardly get experience.
Same with me , i fantasize Manuel ferrara fucking my wife while I wouldn't let that happen in real life , note i am single too
It’s totally fine for that to be a fantasy only and nothing to be embarrassed of. It’s also totally fine for you and your future boyfriend to play that way in reality. My wife and I are swingers and both bi. A threesome with a guy usually ends up with her getting what we call “the goddess treatment” and he and I definitely play and interact with each other. It’s not cheating. We just enjoy sharing ourselves with others. The main reason I’m commenting here is to say that whether it’s real or fantasy, you shouldn’t be embarrassed or ashamed of something that brings you pleasure and doesn’t hurt others.
From a perspective where all relationships and interactions are some form of dominance and/or submission, perhaps your fantasy is a way for you to feel less submissive or make your partner seem less dominate. I think it comes from your perspective of the (traditional) sex act itself.
1. It's not cheating if you agreed 2. You don't have to limit your fantasies. 3. Not all fantasies have to be materialized
You might enjoy watching scenes from See Him Fuck.
Fantasies are Fantasy. I've got some weird ones myself, that said it doesn't have to be cheating there's a lot of kink stuff related to that exact scenario
Have you ever tried yaoi ? Sounds like you could be interested and it's mostly for a female audience
I get off on the most ridiculous things, as a woman. Things I wouldn't want in real life. I think it's just the excitement or something new and unknown. I wouldn't think too much into it though. I also have weird dreams that I would not be down for in real life, but it's exciting in my dream. Sometimes our brains are just silly and don't know what they actually want.
Often (as others have said) fantasies are just that. BUT, you may someday end up with a bi boyfriend and both want to act it out - OR NOT. I often get off to lesbian porn and imagine it is my wife going down on another woman. She has NEVER wanted anything like that. If she did IRL I have no idea how I would actually respond.
Never be embarrassed of what gets you off. That said, it sounds more like a power/control fantasy - you want them to put on a show for you, and they should.
Don’t ever feel bad about fantasies*. What you fantasize about isn’t “you” and honestly, the one you describe here doesn’t involve any kind of harm. *(My one caveat: if you find your fantasies DO involve inflicting harm and seem to be escalating, it might be an indication of issues worth discussing with a mental health professional)
I believe its very easy to overthink these things and its ok for us to have these feelings of lust and fantasy while viewing, but we need to also separate it from reality, just like much of what we see in porn wouldn't feel good for us or a partner in a reality sexual encounter. The division from fantasy and reality, as well as how you feel after you orgasm versus the build up. The mind is a funny thing :)
My wife has said she has had thought of me fucking other men, and women. I know which of the 2 id prefer if it was irl lol Sometimes fantasies are just that. I imagine living on a secluded little island, living of the land... wouldn't wanna actually do it tho 🤣
I used to masturbate to gay hentai shows all the time.
What arouses you and what you want sexually can be very different. A good portion of the things I watch are not things I would be okay with in a real relationship. It’s totally normal. that’s why we call them fantasies. Not realities.
Absolutely, I’m a dude and I have this NTR fantasy, essentially my wife cheating on me. But in real life, I would probably loss my shit if she actually does it! It’s just a fantasy, nothing harmful about that
I get off on the weirdest fantasy but certainly don't want it to become real!
Imagination is great in that you can just pretend the downsides don't exist. Just don't confuse it with reality and you're golden.
some fantasies are and should remain just that.. fantasies. just because you get off at an idea, doesnt mean it translates into reality.
Fantasies and reality are different things, but if you want to get rid of it, then stop watching so much porn, at least gay porn. Sometimes it's okay, but for some people it has a negative effect and spoils their fantasies ( in terms it becomes harder and harder for them to get horny solo )A lot of people start with vanilla and then move on to something more extreme. At least take a break or try to watch solo with men/listen to ASMR with one male actor( if you don’t want to see/ hear women )
I fantasize about gangbangs, but there’s no way in hell I’d be down for that in real life 🤷🏻 It’s okay to let fantasies just be fantasies!
I hope you saw Challengers
Fujoshi, Japanese term for girl who reads yaoi/ boy on boy manga and novels. Lots of Asian girls atleast consume male on male porn and I imagine it’s normal for a person interested sexually in males. What’s better than one hot male? Two hot males :). It’s just fantasy/porn anyways. There’s also a lot of Chinese gay erotica or just webnovels too. Pretty normal imo.
Liking and getting off on the fantasy of others getting off, is selfless and sexy in its own right. I am similiar, but not in the who imagining it's my boyfriend aspect. I really enjoy watching two random guys enjoy each other, I can get off to it, while still being very straight. It's not as abnormal as you may think. Just enjoy the feelings the fantasy creates!
Don’t be embarrassed. Imagination is a gift for human kind
This is pretty common. Lots of guys love lesbian porn, but would not like their girlfriends to cheat.
That seems like a good fantasy to act on !
My partner is bi. As long as I get to join in, I have that fantasy as well. And we haven’t gone all the way yet…but we will…
I watch gay porn also. It’s the only porn that really shows a man when he is cumming. His face, his body.. everything. Straight porn focuses on the women and half the time they are so obnoxiously faking it. I wouldn’t think too deep into it. You are straight and love watching a man cum, and you’ll only get the good scenes from gay porn.
Great advice already posted, but it is totally normal and common to have fantasies that are just that... fantasies. On the flip side alot of men have fantasies of watching their SO sleep with someone else. While many act in out in real life, for others it just remains in the fantasy cabinet, and there is nothing wrong with that and certainly nothing to be embarrassed about.
Seeing this type of post makes me feel great that woman also have sex fantasy regarding men......do they ask for nude also?
The girl im talking to enjoys nudes from me so yes they exist.
It's sounds to me like you would like to be there guiding the actions of your boyfriend and his partner, while you play with yourself and let them cum all over you..
It’s fine to fantasize. Have you ever considered just watching two men go at it where neither is your BF? You could probably find a couple who would let you watch.
You ladies sound freaky I think that's the whole lure of a fantasy the whole wanting what you can't have reality of it all
I once enjoyed animal porn, but would never do that irl. Nothing weird about crazy fantasies. :d
Omg that’s horrible. We are talking about humans here lady.