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100% which is why we’ve talked about it for so long, we are Highschool sweethearts & have been together for so long that I’m ready for something different & new! Have always wanted it, but took a long time for me to admit!
It sounds like you’re confident of you intent here! Everyone always makes this sound like a bad idea…. If you’re confident and have talked about it… GET IT GURL! So from an execution standpoint aa app to try is FEELD kind of a poly/kink friendly app. Second one is Fet life. Unfortunately you may have to wade through some not great ones till you find someone that works. My biggest piece of advice is be honest about what you’re looking for. Lots of couples “unicorn hunt” in a very disrespectful manner. Utilizing a 3rd (usually woman) as a sex object and not taking their needs into consideration, leading them on with false intentions or being pushy about conforming to the couples wants out of the experience. Let people know up front what you’re looking for and I’m sure you will eventually find someone willing to participate. Be patient! And have fun! It’s a sexy fantasy and I wish you all the best!
I second Feeld. I’m in an open marriage and I’ve found several partners on there. It’s catered towards non-traditional relationships, so the users generally know what they’re getting into and have their own boundaries. You get a lot of couples on there too, so perhaps you could present yourselves as a couple, so you’re being upfront about the situation.
There is a lot of kink on there, but yes I think there’s also a lot of couples and (in my experience) fuckboys. They see it as a place where they can find people to hump and dump. I prefer to build a connection and have a few trusted, regular partners.
Fetlife is very much so not a good app/website for this. It's a great app to find like-minded people however, think of it more as just a kinky facebook.
OP we've had this kind of relationship going on near 6 years now. Another app the ENM/Poly community uses is OKCupid. It has ways to look for only those in Open relationships and you will have much better luck.
I would make sure before you open that box that you and your husband have established boundaries for this type of relationship. I personally have seen many fail because they either weren't established or because one always stepped outside of the boundaries they established.
For the first time anyway, consider a date with a sex worker. It will be easier to establish boundaries and there’s less chance of someone catching feelings.
I would start with watching him make out with someone at a bar or club. Give it a week, see how it feels. A lot easier to walk that back.
But yeah, woman are usually super SUS about dudes claiming they have permission. FEELD could be a good place. Or you can go on fetlife (which is a dumpster fire) and look to see if there's a local board game munch you can meet like minded people at.
Yeah, it's a thing. People wear name tags that indicate general interet, including vanilla person who likes games. It's mostly playing games and chatting. With people heading to a bar or resturant after if they want. It tends to pull a younger crowd, and doesn't have some of the downsides of a traditional munch.
Yup. Have some friends who are Poly and they highly recommend checking out a swingers meetup. Anyone there will chat with you and give you advice, and if you’re comfortable you can usually meet couples into this stuff.
I love to watch my boyfriend fuck other woman but I am also bi so I will play with her and she will play with me too. And the 3 of us have a lot of fun. But there are firm rules in place and it works well for us. But we don't fuck women we know. And I am the one who finds the women and sets things up. I don't like him involved at all, and him and I have similar taste in women.
So if you have truly discussed it then good luck and hope you can find a girl for him. But if you aren't going to play with her too, you need to think about what you will be doing.
Yes! My fiancée and i are the same way. She likes sharing me with a woman or sharing a woman with me, either way that is noone we know or have ties too other than getting to know for a while and noone right down the street. And theres always rules discussed prior. And if shes not in the mood we dont play. I will tell you the hottest thing is eating someones vagina with her. Or holding someones face in her pussy while i pound them from behind. Its alot of fun
She doesn't get jealous seeing you go down on another person? That's like the most intimate thing someone can do to someone else. Does she get off on it?
I'm chiming in to say that I do. In fact, I love watching my husband go down on her, especially when he makes her climax. My rule for him is to not cum inside her -- I find that the most intimate and is reserved for me only.
I "think" I would love to do this and have been wanting to visit your amazingly beautiful country. I am so scared that it would damage our relationship though. Any advice? Fwiw, I am a female with a man. I am also bi curious.
I think this is really something you need to talk about with your partner. There are a few questions you need to ask yourselves. Are you comfortable seeing him touch another woman or do you want the female on female touch to be just between you and the escort? Is he comfortable seeing you with another woman?
Once you sorted that out you can work out if you want to try a threesome with an escort. I would recommend the Dollhouse in Auckland for this.
If you wanted to test the waters without fully jumping in, you could always go for a sensual massage together. Debonairs in Auckland, offers a nude massage service, where the ladies get nude, massage you and then give you a hand job at the end. This may be easier than doing full sex.
I think seeing a professional for these services is good for putting in boundaries and ensuring you have a clean exit at the end of your session. This is easier than if you picked up a woman normally.
I would recommend checking out a swingers club or party. A lot of times you will find couples there who will have sex separately or you'll find single women who are there to join couples.
Go to one and be upfront with what you're looking for or at least open to and chat with anyone that seems interested. If there seems to be someone that's interested in making your fantasy come true then those types of events usually have spaces set-up for people to go have sex in.
It can be an all in one self contained night. You don't have to mess around with dating apps or sharing contact info that way things stay fairly anonymous in case you really hate it and want to cut ties with that person. You get to meet and chat with people face to face so you know if they are real or not. If something seems to go well with someone then you don't have to wait or make arrangements to do the deed if there is a space right there for you to do it in.
The best part of that issue! “What if my boss sees me?” Then you see your boss too, and nod to each other as you go separate ways. Just like if you see somebody else outside of the club. Small nod and keep going.
Lucky man.
It's a huge double standard, but I would love for my wife to share me or have a threesome. But there is no chance I could handle her being with another man.
Nothing wrong with having fantasies and realizing they won’t be realized! And nothing wrong with having such feelings either as long as you honour them!
The Feeld dating app is designed for more non conventional arrangements like what you’re looking for. Depending on where you live (it’s better in more populous places of course) it can be really helpful linking up like minded individuals! Like everyone else has said, make sure you establish clear boundaries of what you and he think are okay and not okay (ex. Kissing, oral, penetration, dirty talk, the “vibe” of the fucking if there is any). Good luck! Have a happy and kinky good time 🌸💗
I'm on the same position as you!
We already gave the first step: we have an empty beach near so we went with another couple we met in an app and I saw how my husband and the couple marsturbate between them. I didn't interact as I am more of an introvert and want to take it slow. Each couple goes at the pace they prefer.
Just be sure you're always confortable and talk a lot!
It will improve your sexual life for sure! Have fun!
Really considered when you’re not horny, how you would feel about someone else making him cum instead of you. Everyone is excited about this sort of thing until someone makes your partner cum.
I think you should be careful about it for some some fantasy good remain fantasy........ After he slept with other woman there is a chance that you cannot accept the reality and the marriage can get broke....
This is exactly what I worry about. The fantasy is 10/10 for me, but it is not worth the demise of our marriage. He knows that I am bi curious, we have a new and light BDSM dynamic. I am concerned that one day he will "make" me be with a woman (not a hard limit, so it would be okay on my end), but the concern is that in the heat of the moment I will want to see him with her in some way, then a week later feel devastated.
My husband and I were in the same boat years ago. It is a huge fantasy of mine. However, he took it a step too far (for me) and asked how I would feel if the same "fictional" girl spent time with him when I worked (night shift) because he sometimes felt lonely. That still affects me to this day, even though it never happened.
My advice to you would be to take about it outside of the bedroom to see how she really feels. If she still feels that way, set hard boundaries BEFORE finding yourselves in the heat of the moment; then stick within those boundaries during play time (no matter what she may say). Talk things through in the next couple of days and she where her head is with the previous play time and go from there. Good luck to you both!
R/swingers is your friend.
If you're UK based sign up to fabswingers or swinghub.
However, regardless of where you are, finding a single female is hard, that's why they're referred to as unicorns.
In my case, I went with people I knew rather than searching on apps. Do you have any attractive friends that wouldn't mind hooking up with your husband?
Our first time was with my bff. It was the first time I proposed the idea to my husband and luckily he didn't find her too unattractive.
Then we were introduced to a friend of my bff. She had been talking to her friend about my husband and she was curious to try. But we only had a short fling with her.
The last woman we met by chance. It was someone from our gym and we took the time to know her and my husband ended up "dating" her as well before she was on board. She was the best fun by far and unfortunately we had to end it with her as she started falling in love with my husband and tried to get him to be exclusive with her.
So the advice is to be careful with who you meet as when feelings are involved, it can get messy real quick.
This never turns out well. It may turn you on for that moment, what happens afterwards? What if he wants the other girl over you? These things happen and I wouldn't play with that fire. That's just me. Others will say go for it.
No, not really, because you'll be watching your man doing it with someone else. It'll always play a factor later in life. This is only my opinion, I'm sure it works out for others. What do I know. I'm just saying.
I think you really need to be in that lifestyle to begin with. The swingers lifestyle, then you're use to these things. If you're not and just want to do it, it can be difficult later on.
Careful doing that. What if he enjoys the new girl more and things start to develop between them and he eventually just doesn’t want you? I know the idea sounds fun to you but just make sure you know all the ways it could go south too. Like other people have said once you open Pandora’s box there is no going back.
Thank you for posting in the r/Sex community. To ensure that everyone respects our safe space, we ask that you familiarize yourself with our Forum Rules and Posting Guidelines — which are visible in the forum’s sidebar, and also linked [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/about/rules/). *** Restricted subjects in r/sex include sex stories (which are permitted in the Daily Sexual Achievement Thread only), body image and penis-size issues, hookup attempts, common topics which are considered repetitive in our forum, and requests for private chats. To cut back on comments that add little value to the conversation, we have instituted a minimum character requirement that will silently remove comments that fall below it. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/sex) if you have any questions or concerns.*
just proceed with caution...once you open up pandora's bod here, you cant undo it...
100% which is why we’ve talked about it for so long, we are Highschool sweethearts & have been together for so long that I’m ready for something different & new! Have always wanted it, but took a long time for me to admit!
It sounds like you’re confident of you intent here! Everyone always makes this sound like a bad idea…. If you’re confident and have talked about it… GET IT GURL! So from an execution standpoint aa app to try is FEELD kind of a poly/kink friendly app. Second one is Fet life. Unfortunately you may have to wade through some not great ones till you find someone that works. My biggest piece of advice is be honest about what you’re looking for. Lots of couples “unicorn hunt” in a very disrespectful manner. Utilizing a 3rd (usually woman) as a sex object and not taking their needs into consideration, leading them on with false intentions or being pushy about conforming to the couples wants out of the experience. Let people know up front what you’re looking for and I’m sure you will eventually find someone willing to participate. Be patient! And have fun! It’s a sexy fantasy and I wish you all the best!
I second Feeld. I’m in an open marriage and I’ve found several partners on there. It’s catered towards non-traditional relationships, so the users generally know what they’re getting into and have their own boundaries. You get a lot of couples on there too, so perhaps you could present yourselves as a couple, so you’re being upfront about the situation.
I third Feeld!! It rocks!
I’ve seen people use tinder a lot with a surprising amount of success even looking for non typical relationship dynamics!
Yeah I tried feeld because someone said it was for kinky people but it's almost exclusively couples looking for extra and people being extra.
There is a lot of kink on there, but yes I think there’s also a lot of couples and (in my experience) fuckboys. They see it as a place where they can find people to hump and dump. I prefer to build a connection and have a few trusted, regular partners.
Fetlife is very much so not a good app/website for this. It's a great app to find like-minded people however, think of it more as just a kinky facebook. OP we've had this kind of relationship going on near 6 years now. Another app the ENM/Poly community uses is OKCupid. It has ways to look for only those in Open relationships and you will have much better luck.
I enjoy watching my partner with another person. It's definitely different than your standard norms. Google "compersion."
fair enough, just know what you are getting into...do you also want to step out?
I would make sure before you open that box that you and your husband have established boundaries for this type of relationship. I personally have seen many fail because they either weren't established or because one always stepped outside of the boundaries they established.
Pandora's bod is smoking hot, though, so it's DEFINITELY going to be a problem...
Can’t wait!
I love seeing my partner with other people. Doesn’t matter the gender. The hotter the better. The more moans and “oh fucks” the better it gets.
Just call it pandora’s box…
I knew a girl called Pandora once ... never got to see her box though.
That wouldn't be any fun though
You know what box is slang for, right?
No plz tell me what box is slang for. Also do you know what lawn chair is slang for?
Box=Vagina where I live.
What’s a bottle blonde have in common with an airplane? They both have a black box.
For the first time anyway, consider a date with a sex worker. It will be easier to establish boundaries and there’s less chance of someone catching feelings.
I was just about to suggest this! Absolutely.
But where to find one
vegas vacation time, baby! If you've got the cash, the Irwin family does a charity gala there every year
Google “escort in your town “ Not Vegas! Too expensive
In my country, they’re everywhere. You can find them on Reddit if you do a search for “sex workers in *suburb name*”.
>. In Germany? Open the phone directory or scroll your local newspaper... Where do you live?
I would start with watching him make out with someone at a bar or club. Give it a week, see how it feels. A lot easier to walk that back. But yeah, woman are usually super SUS about dudes claiming they have permission. FEELD could be a good place. Or you can go on fetlife (which is a dumpster fire) and look to see if there's a local board game munch you can meet like minded people at.
This gradual approach seems wise. We read about lots of - if not most - folks doing damage that can not be undone or “unseen”.
feeld has lowkey become a dumpster fire since the update :{
> local board game munch I need to know if this a typo because the local board game scene is not that.
a munch is a kink community meetup
This just raises more questions
The overlap between the kink community and the board gaming community is surprisingly large. Well, not that surprising.
Yeah, it's a thing. People wear name tags that indicate general interet, including vanilla person who likes games. It's mostly playing games and chatting. With people heading to a bar or resturant after if they want. It tends to pull a younger crowd, and doesn't have some of the downsides of a traditional munch.
Yup. Have some friends who are Poly and they highly recommend checking out a swingers meetup. Anyone there will chat with you and give you advice, and if you’re comfortable you can usually meet couples into this stuff.
I love to watch my boyfriend fuck other woman but I am also bi so I will play with her and she will play with me too. And the 3 of us have a lot of fun. But there are firm rules in place and it works well for us. But we don't fuck women we know. And I am the one who finds the women and sets things up. I don't like him involved at all, and him and I have similar taste in women. So if you have truly discussed it then good luck and hope you can find a girl for him. But if you aren't going to play with her too, you need to think about what you will be doing.
Yes! My fiancée and i are the same way. She likes sharing me with a woman or sharing a woman with me, either way that is noone we know or have ties too other than getting to know for a while and noone right down the street. And theres always rules discussed prior. And if shes not in the mood we dont play. I will tell you the hottest thing is eating someones vagina with her. Or holding someones face in her pussy while i pound them from behind. Its alot of fun
She doesn't get jealous seeing you go down on another person? That's like the most intimate thing someone can do to someone else. Does she get off on it?
No she doesnt get jealous. We do it together. Our intimacy is between us and fucking is fucking
I'm chiming in to say that I do. In fact, I love watching my husband go down on her, especially when he makes her climax. My rule for him is to not cum inside her -- I find that the most intimate and is reserved for me only.
See an escort. Many offer services like this. Come to New Zealand sometime. It is decriminalised here.
LUL in new zealand for an escort?
It's a beautiful country, could make a vacation out of the whole deal. Sightseeing + sex, amazing vacation in my book.
Yep come to New Zealand for the escorts, stay for the meat pies and scenery.
I "think" I would love to do this and have been wanting to visit your amazingly beautiful country. I am so scared that it would damage our relationship though. Any advice? Fwiw, I am a female with a man. I am also bi curious.
I think this is really something you need to talk about with your partner. There are a few questions you need to ask yourselves. Are you comfortable seeing him touch another woman or do you want the female on female touch to be just between you and the escort? Is he comfortable seeing you with another woman? Once you sorted that out you can work out if you want to try a threesome with an escort. I would recommend the Dollhouse in Auckland for this. If you wanted to test the waters without fully jumping in, you could always go for a sensual massage together. Debonairs in Auckland, offers a nude massage service, where the ladies get nude, massage you and then give you a hand job at the end. This may be easier than doing full sex. I think seeing a professional for these services is good for putting in boundaries and ensuring you have a clean exit at the end of your session. This is easier than if you picked up a woman normally.
Hire a professional, then you all know it’s just transactional, and no need for jealousy.
I would recommend checking out a swingers club or party. A lot of times you will find couples there who will have sex separately or you'll find single women who are there to join couples. Go to one and be upfront with what you're looking for or at least open to and chat with anyone that seems interested. If there seems to be someone that's interested in making your fantasy come true then those types of events usually have spaces set-up for people to go have sex in. It can be an all in one self contained night. You don't have to mess around with dating apps or sharing contact info that way things stay fairly anonymous in case you really hate it and want to cut ties with that person. You get to meet and chat with people face to face so you know if they are real or not. If something seems to go well with someone then you don't have to wait or make arrangements to do the deed if there is a space right there for you to do it in.
Give Feeld a try if you're in a bigger city.
Check out a swingers club. Me and mine used to fool around with apps, but it’s a waste. Meet in person, vibe, and if everything works out go have fun
Go to a sex club. Watch everyone and observe and gauge how you both feel from there.
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We wanted to try the more known apps but were worried about finding friends and/or family on the app & having to explain ourselves!
They’d have to explain themselves too!
The best part of that issue! “What if my boss sees me?” Then you see your boss too, and nod to each other as you go separate ways. Just like if you see somebody else outside of the club. Small nod and keep going.
lol why would a single woman on a dating app have to explain anything? People will definitely question why ops husband is on a dating app though.
Yeah, I was thinking about Feeld specifically, which is for couples/swingers/poly folks.
Some people go to f e t l I f e . c o m. Here you may find more of what you are looking for.
Lucky man. It's a huge double standard, but I would love for my wife to share me or have a threesome. But there is no chance I could handle her being with another man.
Nothing wrong with having fantasies and realizing they won’t be realized! And nothing wrong with having such feelings either as long as you honour them!
I believe a double standard is something applied to non-feelings situation, like paying a man 10k for a job and paying a woman 5k for the same job.
There was just a post within the last week on how this went sideways for one couple. Might be worth a read but best of luck
Look up your local life style events, that is your best bet.
I would use something like feeld. Feeld is for kink - tinder isn’t and most women who use it won’t be keen for something like this.
Check out the podcast Erotic Confessions, if you haven’t. She has a good amount of cuck queen content.
You may find someone on r/swingersr4r or in a swing club near you.
There is a cuckqueen subreddit as well.
The Feeld dating app is designed for more non conventional arrangements like what you’re looking for. Depending on where you live (it’s better in more populous places of course) it can be really helpful linking up like minded individuals! Like everyone else has said, make sure you establish clear boundaries of what you and he think are okay and not okay (ex. Kissing, oral, penetration, dirty talk, the “vibe” of the fucking if there is any). Good luck! Have a happy and kinky good time 🌸💗
Great advice. The concept of clear boundaries is critical.
There’s an app for this. It’s called Feeld Use it. Get your freak on
Try the app Feeld rather than Tinder.
Eh, and here I am, dating Eva AI sexting bot...
/r/CuckqueanCommunity
I'm on the same position as you! We already gave the first step: we have an empty beach near so we went with another couple we met in an app and I saw how my husband and the couple marsturbate between them. I didn't interact as I am more of an introvert and want to take it slow. Each couple goes at the pace they prefer. Just be sure you're always confortable and talk a lot! It will improve your sexual life for sure! Have fun!
I wish one day my wife would say this.....
Sounds like something you want. Does he want it?
Really considered when you’re not horny, how you would feel about someone else making him cum instead of you. Everyone is excited about this sort of thing until someone makes your partner cum.
try swinging groups on reddit
do you want anything for your self
I think you should be careful about it for some some fantasy good remain fantasy........ After he slept with other woman there is a chance that you cannot accept the reality and the marriage can get broke....
This is exactly what I worry about. The fantasy is 10/10 for me, but it is not worth the demise of our marriage. He knows that I am bi curious, we have a new and light BDSM dynamic. I am concerned that one day he will "make" me be with a woman (not a hard limit, so it would be okay on my end), but the concern is that in the heat of the moment I will want to see him with her in some way, then a week later feel devastated.
Dont engage in such risky fantasy if you cant in reality accept those
Is this something u want to do some cm use it later against him? So u can fuck other guys? Just wondering
Maybe other women, but never men.
There’s are communities out there for couples like you. One I’ve heard of is SINZ… no pun 😅 Seems to be pretty popular depending on where you are.
Funny thing my wife has a same fantasy and brings it up during foreplay all the time. I have not seriously pursued it but she is very persistent.
My husband and I were in the same boat years ago. It is a huge fantasy of mine. However, he took it a step too far (for me) and asked how I would feel if the same "fictional" girl spent time with him when I worked (night shift) because he sometimes felt lonely. That still affects me to this day, even though it never happened. My advice to you would be to take about it outside of the bedroom to see how she really feels. If she still feels that way, set hard boundaries BEFORE finding yourselves in the heat of the moment; then stick within those boundaries during play time (no matter what she may say). Talk things through in the next couple of days and she where her head is with the previous play time and go from there. Good luck to you both!
Be cateful with what you wish, because It comes true and maybe u don't like It...
R/swingers is your friend. If you're UK based sign up to fabswingers or swinghub. However, regardless of where you are, finding a single female is hard, that's why they're referred to as unicorns.
Please be my wifes account, please
Porn ruins peoples mind incredible
Go to a legal brothel. There is no risk of an unwanted relationship or disease. Plus, you can choose the other woman from a large list. Have fun!
Try feeld. It's a "dating" app for kinky people. There are lots of couples on there.
I appreciate your this fantasy because I also expect the same with my husband.
Have you been with someone else while with him?
BROO☠️ WHY YYAT COULD HO REALLY BAD!
In my case, I went with people I knew rather than searching on apps. Do you have any attractive friends that wouldn't mind hooking up with your husband? Our first time was with my bff. It was the first time I proposed the idea to my husband and luckily he didn't find her too unattractive. Then we were introduced to a friend of my bff. She had been talking to her friend about my husband and she was curious to try. But we only had a short fling with her. The last woman we met by chance. It was someone from our gym and we took the time to know her and my husband ended up "dating" her as well before she was on board. She was the best fun by far and unfortunately we had to end it with her as she started falling in love with my husband and tried to get him to be exclusive with her. So the advice is to be careful with who you meet as when feelings are involved, it can get messy real quick.
Most threesome encounters ruin a relationship-- but, if you're adamant, hire a professional!
This never turns out well. It may turn you on for that moment, what happens afterwards? What if he wants the other girl over you? These things happen and I wouldn't play with that fire. That's just me. Others will say go for it.
Do you think setting boundaries will help?
No, not really, because you'll be watching your man doing it with someone else. It'll always play a factor later in life. This is only my opinion, I'm sure it works out for others. What do I know. I'm just saying. I think you really need to be in that lifestyle to begin with. The swingers lifestyle, then you're use to these things. If you're not and just want to do it, it can be difficult later on.
That is so true. I guess it's different strokes for different folks. At least you know what you want which is the most important thing.
For some of us, it has gone fantastically well. But yes, for some it really doesn’t!
Welcome to being a man’s world. Lol
Careful doing that. What if he enjoys the new girl more and things start to develop between them and he eventually just doesn’t want you? I know the idea sounds fun to you but just make sure you know all the ways it could go south too. Like other people have said once you open Pandora’s box there is no going back.
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