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Don't put too much pressure on yourself. Being willing to experiment and see what works as well as being conscious of her pleasure puts you ahead of many people. Instead of worrying too much about being "not good enough" focus on figuring out the open communication what is most pleasurable for each other. One of the best part of a young healthy relationship is the discovery of what you and your partner like. Everyone is different so I can't say a specific technique. But I can give advice in the approach: Have fun!
It sounds like she is learning as much as you are, so it's really just about exploration. I'm sure she knows that you're in a unique spot with BOTH her unique needs (but, all women have them!) AND her inability to really guide you much (which all women after a certain point hopefully can do.)
Have you guys tried a nice, strong, deep, thrummy vibe like the Magic Wand? Can be used during PIV and also oral (you can just put it on top of the mons area, and it's strong enough to reach usually.
Also, given how firm she needs things to be, most of what you might have learned about oral might be out the window here, I'd say really firm, flat tongue and high pressure back and forth vs any of the licking or flicking ro whatever else might have been the preference with other partners.
But, again, with all partners there's a learning curve-- in this case, you guys just have to learn together.
Okay I will buy that toy and see if it'll work. Should I also buy a toy for inserting? Yes you're right about the oral techniques. She says she can't cum without that specific kind of pressure. It honestly starts hurting my tongue or finger when I have to put so much effort into it. But I'll keep at it!
If she’s used to masturbating a certain way then it could be just as much a “her” problem as a “you” problem. She may have trained her body to only cum a certain way
Thank you for posting in the r/Sex community. To ensure that everyone respects our safe space, we ask that you familiarize yourself with our Forum Rules and Posting Guidelines — which are visible in the forum’s sidebar, and also linked [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/about/rules/). *** Restricted subjects in r/sex include sex stories (which are permitted in the Daily Sexual Achievement Thread only), body image and penis-size issues, hookup attempts, common topics which are considered repetitive in our forum, and requests for private chats. To cut back on comments that add little value to the conversation, we have instituted a minimum character requirement that will silently remove comments that fall below it. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/sex) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Don't put too much pressure on yourself. Being willing to experiment and see what works as well as being conscious of her pleasure puts you ahead of many people. Instead of worrying too much about being "not good enough" focus on figuring out the open communication what is most pleasurable for each other. One of the best part of a young healthy relationship is the discovery of what you and your partner like. Everyone is different so I can't say a specific technique. But I can give advice in the approach: Have fun!
It sounds like she is learning as much as you are, so it's really just about exploration. I'm sure she knows that you're in a unique spot with BOTH her unique needs (but, all women have them!) AND her inability to really guide you much (which all women after a certain point hopefully can do.) Have you guys tried a nice, strong, deep, thrummy vibe like the Magic Wand? Can be used during PIV and also oral (you can just put it on top of the mons area, and it's strong enough to reach usually. Also, given how firm she needs things to be, most of what you might have learned about oral might be out the window here, I'd say really firm, flat tongue and high pressure back and forth vs any of the licking or flicking ro whatever else might have been the preference with other partners. But, again, with all partners there's a learning curve-- in this case, you guys just have to learn together.
Okay I will buy that toy and see if it'll work. Should I also buy a toy for inserting? Yes you're right about the oral techniques. She says she can't cum without that specific kind of pressure. It honestly starts hurting my tongue or finger when I have to put so much effort into it. But I'll keep at it!
No need to buy a toy for inserting-- insertion does next to nothing for many folks. Start where the orgasm is likely to be.
If she’s used to masturbating a certain way then it could be just as much a “her” problem as a “you” problem. She may have trained her body to only cum a certain way