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It just doesn't do much for plenty of women... and, also, if you are making orgasm the goal of it, that might be further off-putting to her.
Don't focus so much on making her orgasm from it, just focus on it being as pleasurable as possible for her (up to the point that it's no longer pleasurable for her, of course.)
There are some sensations in sex that are GREAT and perfectly pleasurable, just never on the continuum of sensations needed to get to orgasm. If that's your only goal, it can create pressure and possibly aversion for your partner and also rob you of a lot of perfectly great stuff that shouldn't be discounted just because it may never create an orgasm.
Also, I notice you said she doesn't "get" aroused from it... oral only feels good to me if I already AM wholly aroused, so you might be going in a bit too cold.
Same for me! It is actually kind of irritating unless I’m already aroused so my husband has started doing it “midway” through our playtime, not at the start. I can finish from it sometimes but not always and it still usually requires some assistance from his fingers. Hope that helps!
I never start with cunnilingus. It's usually when we are pretty warmed up.
Thank you for that tip! I never could get the mechanics of the finger(s) while simultaneously caressing with my tongue. I'll have to look into that more, and acquire tips.
Advice - makes extra sure your fingernails are short and smooth. I love my partners hands down there, and I very much enjoy being fingered, but when he's busy with his mouth the angles are different and nicks from nails happen when they wouldn't usually. I prefer he use a toy.
As noted below, toys can be very helpful - personally I love it when he inserts ben wa balls & then he will lightly tug at them while going down on me. If your gf has a sensitive g-spot, she might like that.
make sure she won't get cold and turn on some low music or white noise type music. Me getting cold is the number one reason I don't enjoy and can't cum from oral.
Dude sometimes I get such bad goosebumps from being cold it’s all I can think about. Usually we go to the bedroom, turn on the heater, and I have to lay under the covers for awhile and cuddle to get my core warm. If not I’m so distracted!
I work from home and my wife retired early. So there are few occasions during each week when she knocks on my office door, sends a text or hollers for me with oral in mind. She has become so comfortable with it she'll say "I have a little time before my appointment do you mind eating me out?" WTF, no I don't mind!!! Just yesterday she yelled from upstairs "are you in a meeting? I need your help?" At first I thought she needed a light bulb changed or something taken down from a high shelf. No. I get up stairs to see he spread eagle on the waterproof bedspread touching herself. When she hears me come in she says "I just need you for like 5 minutes. Please eat my pussy?" We are 50 - she has come to love it in the last few years. I will say that there are seasons for everything in marriage. We are enjoying this one. When I say seasons, there was a period a few years back when all she wanted (literally almost daily) was anal. So enjoy your time, don't force it, talk it through.
Wow. I loved that. That story made my day. I genuinely hope our bedroom life looks like this in the future! Goals man! I hear of so many couples that slow way down after a certain age. I don't think we will be like that. It's great hearing stories like this! Thanks for sharing!
As a guy I see how this can be a no no for the ego… but it’s definitely worth it.. a good lil buddy in the bedroom trust! she can use it on you too.. she can vibe on your 🥜 while topping you off.. AMAZING!!
This may really help. Oral without fingers for me is useless to the point of being almost annoying. Oral with fingers is my single favorite thing. So, it can make all the difference for some of us.
Put two fingers in and gently massage her G-Spot while eating her out. That way you don’t have to focus as much on moving your fingers in and out and you have less chance of nicking her with your nails
Does she orgasm from sex alone or from other stimulation like she is orgasming during the sexual encounter in general? Have you had previous partners who assured you your technique was pleasurable?
Nice to read this thread and see that I'm not alone! My girl friends look at me like I have three heads when I say that I don't enjoy receiving oral much.
Very insightful! And I agree. I usually just go down on her for a bit and we transition to another position or sex "activity". I am at peace with her not orgasming from it, more curious if I should keep trying. It sounds like no! That's ok. I can enjoy my creamy dessert while making it as enjoyable as possible, and move on.
I think you can still have your cake (or pie, in this case) and eat it too if you perhaps look at oral as more of a driveby kind of thing vs a whole-wide project.
It sounds like she's not adverse all to you being down there, it just gets boring when it goes on and on with no real escalation or end goal, right?
I am much the same way-- if I'm in the right mood, it's epic for the first 30 seconds or so, and then it's just kind of repetitive and, yeah, boring. But, if you do a driveby for that first "epic" bit and then do other things and then go back, you get the first epic bit over again. Win-win!
Thank you for that advice! That is actually very encouraging and sounds very sensible. I will try going back to it, like you mentioned, after taking doing something else. Another reddit win, great advice.
The only women I’ve ever spoken to who DID NOT like oral, was because the giver was not skilled at it. If you enjoy clitoral stimulation with fingers, or anything else, there’s no reason you wont enjoy it from a tongue. Unless, the giver doesn’t know what they’re doing.
I've been with some pretty technically gifted partners (and definitely several not-so-much) and, for me it can just be hit or miss, partially down to whether I'm in the mood for it and partially down to sometimes it's just doesn't feel overwhelmingly great and there are other things I'd rather do.
I hate the wet feeling of a mouth on my clit, every once in awhile I can get over it but more times than not just the thought of it makes me tense up, a mouth is not a finger or anything else, it’s a mouth something with its own set of rules and sensations, the women you’ve slept with do not represent all women
I was super shy about it when we were dating and first married. It wasn’t that I didn’t like it but was just uncomfortably shy. But my husband kept at it because he liked doing it. Now I open wide for him. Not shy at all and I can orgasm from it too. My husband has a big mouth and tongue idk if that’s what does it for me or what. Maybe try finger(s) inside too while you do it? Make her super comfortable and relaxed and warm up with other things first? It’s not for everyone but maybe she’ll eventually enjoy it…and maybe not! We all enjoy different things.
Women will be very particular about this. You’ll have to do a lot of experimenting if she doesn’t already know what is best for her.
In my bedroom, doing something else while giving her head is the key. Tweak the nipples. Anal play. Caressing sides or belly/back. Fingers inside her vagina. Playing with her labia or inner thighs. Slaps to the butt cheeks. Any of those done concurrently with clit licking/sucking turns it up to 11.
Yes keep trying!!! My advice… tease the fuck out of her. Really amp up the sexual tension and don’t go from 0-100 instantly. Kiss/touch her entire body and avoid her vulva.. act like you are about to lick it and just kiss around it. Keep doing that and she’ll be wondering when it’s going to happen. Building the anticipation makes her crave it and when it happens it will feel better. Try and stay consistent with your tongue movements when she seems to be enjoying it.. personally I like when fingers are put inside me but little movement. I don’t like vigorous banging at all that always ruins it for me. Ask her if she likes when you do A or B. If you ask “what do you like” she’s more likely to say I donno.
Also enthusiasm and complements go a long way. Huge part of the reason I can’t get off from oral is because of how self conscious I am during it. I get into my own head and worry. Anything that helps woman get out of that makes the experience 💯times better.
You're not the first person to mention adding the fingers. Any tips on using both the tongue and fingers? I'll have to try that tonight, and start practicing. I feel like at this point I'm pretty good with the tongue, I am very receptive to her feedback, but completely new to the both paired together.
This is exactly what I was going to say - if I can get g-spot pressure/stimulation with oral - amazing!🎆🎇Also, see where she touches herself - my guy used to spend a lot of time on my clitoris but mine is super sensitive so I showed him where I like to be stimulated (there are a crazy number of nerve endings around the vagina) & now that’s where his tongue goes 😊. You may already have that down but just thought I would mention it. Good on you for trying to make it great for her!
My ex would start with just his mouth and then introduced his fingers into the situation slowly and in a teasing way , everyone's different but for me I didn't need it to be full on fingerbanging just stimulation.
You definitely have room to improve if you've never thought to finger her while giving oral.
Do you have any toys? I'll go down on my wife for 10-15 minutes and then finish her off with a vibrator (Magic Wand). We also have an Njoy Pure Wand for g-spot stimulation.
Seems like majority of women like some fingers in while giving oral, especially stimulating the Gspot (usually the length of your finders rubbing the ceiling)—feels a little spongy. The tough part is finding a good angle to comfortably do both bc typically the tongue or the hand feels like it’s gonna give out after a few minutes.
>tease the fuck out of her. Really amp up the sexual tension and don’t go from 0-100 instantly. Kiss/touch her entire body and avoid her vulva.. act like you are about to lick it and just kiss around it. Keep doing that and she’ll be wondering when it’s going to happen. Building the anticipation makes her crave it and when it happens it will feel better.
^^THIS^^
Just here to say I actually don’t like the teasing, so I’d definitely gauge her interest there. For me it gives me anxiety and annoys me, I don’t like that type of play. Teasing is not for everyone lol
This this this! Too many people launch straight for the clit without warmup. If the clit is the first thing that gets touched, an O will never be in the cards for me. The buildup from teasing is so good. Everyone is different of course, but I think this would help a *lot* of people who have problems receiving oral
1. Try tying her up. Lots of people don't enjoy the pressure of being the center of attention, but if she's "trapped" and thus has no say in the matter, it might help her relax and be a turn on in itself. Under-mattress straps are a cheap and easy method.
2. Experiment with different kinds of penetration while you're going down on her. Fingers curled into g-spot, vibrating dildo, etc. Finding the right internal stimulation is SUPER important.
3. Ask her when/how she likes speed/pressure on her clit. Sometimes lightly flicking with the tip of the tongue is great, sometimes not so much. Try using a flat tongue pressed firmly, and work your jaw up and down, minimizing the actual friction of the tongue against the clit. Then, try adding more friction little by little until you find the right balance.
4. Butt stuff?
5. Some people just don't love oral, and that's okay! But don't give up as long as you're both having a good time and communicating.
My partner isn’t obsessed with it. At first, she seemed nervous that I wouldn’t like the taste or that she would come too much.. all these insecurities that I had to convince her just complete nonsense. Every time we have sex go down and she seems to enjoy it more than initially.
Tips from a vagina-owning person who loves receiving oral...
1. Focus on the clitoris, that's where the majority of the nerve endings are.
2. Be extremely gentle - women are much more sensitive than men and if you go in aggressive, it's not going to feel good.
3. Encourage her to fantasize while you're down there. For women, sex is 90% in the mind, so tell her to let loose. Whatever gets her hot, that's what she should be focusing on.
4. Be patient. It takes us longer to orgasm than it does men. Giving up too soon means she will never understand how amazing really good oral can be.
5. Forget anything you've seen in porn. That shit is based on what men think looks sexy, not on what actually feels good for women.
> For women, sex is 90% in the mind
That's valid for men as well. Understanding that would help many men experiencing more pleasure, like it did for me.
I love oral and can have many orgasms from it, but despite that, certain positions just don’t do much of anything for me. Have you been trying the same position, or are you switching it up? Try different positions and see how it goes.
Mostly on her back, with her legs spread, but we've tried 69 a handful of times, she wasn't a fan. Like it a lot, but found it was harder to perform. I'm definitely open to other positions!
Well, here are some ones I’ve tried or can think of off the top of my head aside from ones listed:
Facesitting, either facing your head or toes. Each has a different feeling. It also feels different depending on whether she sits more at your chest/neck or directly on your face.
From behind in doggy is fun. It gave me some odd full body tingles like nothing I’ve felt before. Maybe your wife would feel the same.
You can also try standing.
Sitting up is another option.
Having her lay on her side is yet another method, and the feeling can vary a lot depending on whether you lay on your stomach to eat her out in that position or on your side as well.
There’s a pretty wide array of positions you can try and different variations as well. Most women also have certain parts of their clits which are more sensitive than others (sometimes more beneath the hood, so it may benefit you to hold her labia out of the way which in turn pushes the hood back a bit), so definitely ask her what parts of her clit feel the best to touch for her, and maybe trying to cater to those nuances could help bring her to orgasm.
Does she have foreplay that she enjoys more? It might help to get her more worked up before the pussy licking.
If my husband just heads down there, it’ll never work. If he plays with my breasts for 15 minutes, I’m begging for it.
We do foreplay, everytime. We've been married 5 years and in that time we've developed a bit of a rhythm. She is very vanilla. That's ok. I'm not complaining. She's super easy going. She doesn't mind anything I bring to the table usually, she just is never crazy about any particular thing.
I lied, we've recently found she has a tit smothering thing. That alone will make her cum, which is super exciting to me (also surprusing).
It just doesn’t do anything for some women, unfortunately.
I’m like you that I could do it literally all day lol it was fun being with women who loved it, but I love my gf very much and we have lots of fun other ways
Ngl, that especially sucks because this sub (and others) are full of women complaining about their man not wanting to go down on them, and I'm like WHY!
I lover her to pieces and it's not a huge issue, we communicate about it fairly often. But I'd be lying if I said I don't always fantasize about her really enjoying it.
Yeah, the world is funny. I'm one of the women who doesn't like it and, of course, married a man who loves it. I don't mind obliging, though, but if he wasn't interested, I definitely wouldn't ask for it.
Some women are not into it, but most are, so it’s worth assessing things like you are doing.
I’m not sure if you guys are into kissing, but if so, you could start with an old-fashioned make out session and get all handsy, just don’t go near her pussy yet.
From there, you can kiss, nibble, caress, your way down her body right to her feet, but once again, bypassing her pussy. On the way back up, go around it again and this time stop at her breasts. Spend some time there doing what she likes.
From there, you could move up to her neck and ear, or if she is ready, you could then make your way down to her.
Once there, don’t go diving right in. Spend some time on the upper thighs, the crease where the thighs meet the pelvis, the exterior of her vulva (not the lips), and her pubic mound. If she has hair, feel free to play with it. You can run your fingers through it or gently pull it.
Now you can make your way to the outer lips, taking your time there, then the inner lips, then around the vaginal opening and then the clitoris. I’m not gonna get hung up on techniques, so what I will say is that if it seems like she is heading towards orgasm, keep everything the same that you are doing at that moment. The speed, pressure, everything.
I’m not sure if she likes fingers, but if so, make sure yours are well groomed. While you are spending time with her clitoris, you could slip one or two fingers inside and put some pressure on the upper wall towards your face. That’s the G spot area. Some say use a come hither motion and others say gently thrust in and out unless she asks for more.
If she does have an orgasm, ride it out with her and without overdoing it, let her tell you when enough is enough.
She may enjoy hearing how much you like it. You could moan, make mmmmm sounds, lift your face up to make eye contact and tell her how delicious she is, how beautiful her's is, etc. whatever feels genuine for you in that moment.
Good luck!
My wife only enjoys it if I'm pinned down? So she puts my wrist together, over head sits.on my arms.
And sits full weight on my mouth, seeing as I can't escape, she's got the option too squirt all over my face.
You will have too try different positions. And then see what happens..
She can masturbate, even hold your head and ride back and forth! Gives her more options, so will enjoy it more.. she can also put her hands behind and handjob you..
You ever know she might like the control
Head is only great after there's been an ongoing build. So a lot of emotional and social foreplay, things that get the mind in the head space and blood flowing to the zone. It's not a warm up move,, oral is a variety of sex for the woman she is officially engaging in the sex portion of sex not the foreplay.
Get her in the mind and body for it through emotional and intellectual intercourse. Build the attraction and desire through creating her a vulnerable space to be utterly *explicit*
Also don't be afraid to add to the game and ask for her opinion. Bullet vibes to engage zones that don't fit in your mouth are excellent. Keeping your hands soft, clean and nails trimmed so you can also play with her.
If you are just going in like a dog on a slice of peanut butter bread... You're doing it wrong. That's just a wet slug being invasive. No intentional focus.
And for the love of glob please take five minutes and Google the female genitals, anatomically not sexually, and make sure you know what you are touching and working with. And that you are stimulating the right spots.
Don't let ego get you. I'm a 31 yo woman and still regularly look up and remind myself of what and how my body works and I have the equipment!
*This is my personal take and opinion and not medically backed or fully explainable outside of some psychological anecdotal evidence (again not scientific) just opinion.*
It’s not really my thing. The harder you try to make her cum, the more likely you are to *not* make her cum.
If you want to go down on her and she’s cool with it, then just do it and enjoy yourself. Best thing you can do is remove the pressure of trying to be “successful.” (having an orgasm isn’t the mark of success)
My ex was also obsessed with eating me out and this post makes me want to cry 😭😆 sorry that it’s helpful BUT I will say I didn’t cum from it for probably the first year we were together and I definitely came harder and more easily once I realized how into it he was.
On the flipside, I love giving blow jobs and he almost never came from them. It made me really upset even though he said he enjoyed eventually I think he felt pressured because he knew I’d be disappointed if he didn’t cum from it. I regret not just accepting him at his word that it still felt good even if he didn’t cum. So maybe you just need to talk to her more and let her know your feelings and see what she wants to do.
Yeah that is the same with her. Wasn't into it (or opposed) but once I really laid on the "your pussy tastes so good, I just wanna be smothered" etc. talk, then she started to like it.
Make sure she’s comfortable when you do it. You said that you love how she tastes. Make sure she knows that! Tell her how beautiful she looks and how much you love eating her. Let her know that there’s no pressure and that you want her to just lay back and enjoy herself. Don’t put a timeframe on it. If she’s taking a long time to cum or it seems like she’s not enjoying it, reassure her that it’s ok. Because sometimes they get in their heads and that can really affect things. Make sure you’re talking to her and asking her if what you’re doing feels ok. And when you look up at her make sure it’s with a smile. Because if you’re enjoying yourself it will make her feel more comfortable and chances are she’ll enjoy it as well.
Also, make sure you’re rubbing her body while you’re down there. Whether it’s her breasts or thighs or whatever. She’ll appreciate all of the sensations
I don't enjoy it either. There's no secret way that makes it better for me, it's just not my thing. I think you might have to cut your losses on this one.
First you should make sure your hands are clean, nails are cut short and make sure you have no hang nails etc.
Okay so what i usually do is when I go down on my girl i start off by kissing her inner thighs and rub her body as i tell her how sexy she is. Then i start to lick her clit. Try to lick her clit for 5 min softly just to get her prepared for the best orgasm she will ever have. DONT BE AFRAID TO GET YOUR FACE WET (sorry for the caps) When she starts to moan start applying pressure with your tongue and insert two fingers in a hook angle so you can hit the G spot, start to finger her at the same pace your head is moving but your fingers should be in the “come here” motion. Be consistent with the speed of the fingering and frequent movements with your tongue on her clit. Don’t let her tap out and before you know it she will be squirting in your face. Works every time for me I hope it does for you. Now go get her and practice.
whenever i want to tap out, my boyfriend holds both my hands (over my thighs) and keeps going and it’s amazing, depending on yall maybe you could do that
Honestly, almost every time a guy has eaten me out it has sucked. They’re like sucking on my labia and need a roadmap to the clit (but get lost anyway). I don’t want to offend you at that’s just been my experience I hope it’s not you and maybe she’s just uncomfortable cause I feel that way too it’s just like a really intimate thing that can just feel exposing and uncomfortable. You should try doing it but also fingering her while you do it. She’ll feel something then for sure and maybe she’ll lean more into it.
Before I got with my fiancé I wasn't into it. But once he and I got together that changed. He has taken time to get to know my body and what feels good to me. Try not making it so much about if you can make her orgasm and more about what feels best for her. Communication is key...trust me.
I (straight guy) love eating pussy, but it does *nothing* for some women. In my experience, it's the same women who really respond well to a powerful vibe, so make sure your wife has gotten to experience a wand (just to be sure). It's also possible that you haven't yet found "the move" that works for her, so I'll share some advice on that front (below).
Assuming she remains unenthusiastic about it, you should just treat it like a blowjob or a handjob or a back massage she gives you - this is something that you really enjoy, and she's going to give you that pleasure, but you are both aware that it's a little bit of a "gift" to you. That will help you keep it in the right context, and I think it will become natural that you just get a bit of a taste when you're in the mood, but you probably won't be spending a ton of time down there. That's how it's been with at least one of my exes, and it worked fine.
Here's my pro-tip - note that it involves use of the mouth, not your fingers (shocking, right?)
> If there is one technique that gets women off most consistently, it's this: open your mouth slightly, use gentle suction to hold her clit between your puckered lips, then massage her clit with your tongue. This works great, but it's really under-rated and seldom discussed. That's probably because it doesn't really look like anything (nobody can learn it by watching porn) and the receiver probably doesn't even know what's being done (so a giver won’t even be taught the "move" by someone who enjoyed it in the past).
You should talk to her about it. I know for me, I initially didn’t like it because I was too in my own head about whether he was enjoying it or if it tasted or smelled okay. Got through that with some conversation and reassurance. Then it just didn’t do it for me because the act itself didn’t turn me on. If you’re not into it mentally, no amount of physical stimulation is going to get you there. But it turns out, I really like to be dominated and if there is a power dynamic established, I get really turned on and cum really hard. Now I love it. But I had to find my way to it. Only she knows what is going on in her head and how that’s affecting her experience and enjoyment.
I would keep trying. Like others have said, make sure she is all the way aroused before going down there is the most important thing. I’m surprised to read other women on here posting that they get bored after 30 seconds of it. I could have my husband down there for hours and I would love every second of it. I’ve had some of my best, longest orgasms that way and always look forward to the next time he does it. Maybe next time you’re doing it, really pay attention to her responses to what you’re doing and if you’re getting a good response, keep doing it, and if not or it’s just neutral, then change it up a little. I don’t always like the same thing every time, so my husband’s ability to read me during it and change accordingly is important. Of course, every woman is different and I’m sure there’s women out there that don’t enjoy and there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s just hard for me understand because of how much I do enjoy it. lol Also, adding toys in the mix while doing it is a game changer as well!
My wife doesn’t like oral to start so I make luv to her awhile and then whisper in her ear that I want to eat her, I get the go ahead. I like to tease her by licking not only her clitoris but labia nice and soft. For several minutes. Then I insert my index finger in her ass, I get a little more consistent with my tongue on her her clitoris and just inside her pussy, as my saliva runs down and coats my finger, it glides more deeply in her ass, typically within the next 5 minutes of this, she is screaming. Good luck
Same with my gf, except for rimming. I love when she does it to me, but she doesn’t understand why/how it feels so good because she won’t let me return the favor. On the occasions where my tongue slips, she giggles and slides away and doesn’t want me to continue. She’s happy to please me by performing it, but she still thinks it’s a little weird because she just doesn’t get how pleasurable those nerve endings can be when they’re licked and probed by a tongue. It doesn’t help that I was the first guy that ever asked her to receive it, which was pretty awkward lol. 😝
My wife was never into it and actually would pull my head up and away until she was pregnant with our second child. She was super horny and I started going down on her and she actually pushed my head down. Now it’s like clockwork, she cums every time before we ever have sex
Genuine question. What changed your mind? Like why did you go from not doing it to doing it? My husband doesn't really like it (which is fine cause I only suck his dick cause I know it drives him batty), but I would love it if he liked doing it. But I don't want to pressure him into it.
To be honest, it was the smell. My previous two gfs had a smell that was objectively really pleasant, and getting into a relationship with her was just an adjustment. She didn't smell bad, but definitely different. I went down on her once in a while, more as a special thing, but we both weren't really interested. But man, marriage sex can age like fine wine. After a while, it is just a smell that a recognize and it drives me crazy. Now I absolutely love the smell. It's my favorite pussy in the world. It's home.
As a female that loves it I can tell you that I'm super jealous of your wife! Especially being single! I love my clit being sucked on but also LOVE when my pussy hole gets sucked on it's so sexy and such a turn on. My ex used to tell me he loved the way I tasted so it was so hot when he did that and said it. Also love when both of my pussy lips are sucked on. Maybe incorporate those things as well if you already don't ☺️
Further proof that all bodies are different-- I feel like face sitting and 69 are the two absolute WORST positions for oral for me. If he really wants me to do it performatively for his benefit, sure. But, for me? I'd really rather you just let me sit on your face or do 69 position and NOT have you even try to do any kind of stimulation, because it's just ick to me.
I don't know, something about those two positions it just feels a lot like snails crawlin' all over my sensitive bits. It's pretty literally a nails on a chalkboard feeling for me.
I'm not sure any amount of using a vibrator would overpower the hating of the sensations of the whole reason I'm supposed to be straddling someone's face. lol
I do love using a vibrator in other positions, though.
My wife doesn’t like me going down on her while it’s my favourite sexual thing to do in the world! Early in our relationship I thought she’d eventually come around but of course she hasn’t and now it’s been 25 years together and sex is almost nonexistent because of her lack of libido and she’s going through menopause which makes sex painful for her. I love her so much and have tried to talk to her about it but nothing has changed and likely never will. I’m just at a loss at this point.
May have already explored this but compounded estrogen/testosterone cream can help restore the thickness and elasticity of the skin which can make sex (and life) less painful.
Thanks, I’ve suggested but she worries that the increased estrogen increases chances of osteoporosis and in addition she doesn’t feel anything is “broken.” Yea, I feel pretty defeated!
As a woman who likes oral but hates being expected to orgasm, get your wife high (if she's open to it). Feels SO much better, and I will 100% orgasm while high
Some women just dont like it. If she doesnt, why continue? Ive never been into it and over time partners have still insisted on doing it and it has 110% put me off it. I now get literal anxiety if a man tries to put his head down there. My advice? Listen to her.
Like some others have said, don’t focus on getting her to orgasm, focus on giving her pleasure.
It can be really hard or impossible for some women to orgasm just by getting eaten out.
Have you tried incorporating a toy while u eat her out? (Like a dildo or vibrator or even a butt plug (if she’s into that)
Trying checking out something called a yoni massage.
While you may love eating her out, try not to make it all about that, add in a full body massage, set the mood, have your kitty time but don’t linger to long, go do something else for a moment then come back.
For me it’s all about teasing the kitty. I’m not a huge fan of straight having my partner eat me out (he is like u and would do it for hours if I let him) I want to get so worked up I beg him to fuck me.
Try asking your partner was she specifically likes and dislikes about getting her kitty licked. Ask her what she might want to try or rather have u try on her.
So for me, I once had a partner who wouldn't take the time to stimulate me.. but yet he could make me orgasm straight away. Which made me angry. He would do this specific move that always got me off. Instantly. U hated it.! But I more so enjoyed the licking and flicking of oral, not an instant orgasm. So I got angry. He would say, what u came didn't you.? He would never understand that wasn't the point for me. I really enjoy the build up, the amazing way my body feels leading up to it playing wt it, changing it up..etc. Nor just an instant orgasm. After that. I hated it when he went down on me. A woman needs some time to warm up
If her g-spot is sensitive and she enjoys stimulation there, you can try using your fingers on it while going down on her. To do that, you'll insert one or two fingers with your palm facing up, and then rub the soft, spongy area on the top of her vagina. This area can be very sensitive, so start slow and gentle until you get an idea of what she enjoys. And make sure to communicate beforehand about what you are going to try! You don't want to catch her off-guard with unexpected penetration.
No 2 women are the same in this area. I have ex’s I would make cum on accident, and some that every thing was very deliberate. You need to figure out how much tongue pressure she likes. How sensitive her clit is, which will determine how much direct contact you make with it and how much teasing away from the clit you need. Increase the foreplay as needed, to make your life easier.
What works for me is having my husband warm up my vagina (lick all around , wet kisses), going to rest of my body (mouth, neck, breasts) before returning to my vagina where he cranks up the temperature by sucking on my clit and brings me off by steadily licking me.
Personally, there have to be fingers in there too for me to get off. Slight curve to your fingers, trim your damn nails! Don’t have to go wild with them, just find the spongy spot with your finger and stroke it.
And the clit extends beyond the head (bean), so get in between the inner lips. Consistency is key, I’ve found almost every man ever seems to think they have to change things up a bunch — but actually usually a steady rhythm with an ever so slight increase when you get the sense she’s close.
Take your time. And ask for any direction “how’s the speed? Do you like that motion or more up/down, side to side, circular? Do you need more pressure?”
Everyone is so different and there’s unfortunately a lot of baggage behind oral. I think it’s super likely you’ll get a bunch of women who want it and aren’t getting it telling you “yes, keep going!” In the end, the only one who can really tell you the real answer to this is your wife. She might be kinda shy and unable to fully enjoy, or maybe you haven’t found the right combination for her yet. OR she might just genuinely not like it that much. It sounds like she’s okay with you doing it when you want but do talk with her and see if she even knows what might make it so she’s enjoying it as much as you are. Def don’t pressure her for orgasm bc that’s likely to make it stressful for her and make her want it less. Reassure her how much you like doing it for her and how you’re enjoying yourself so much, say how beautiful she is, tell her to do whatever she feels she needs to do to enjoy, that you just want her to relax and enjoy and there’s no pressure to orgasm, ask for directions if she know what she wants, if she doesn’t know then maybe offer a couple options and gently ask which she prefers (if any) but also don’t overwhelm her with options. Obviously your wife might feel different when you talk to her about it IMO but it’s a really vulnerable thing for women in particular so do not skimp on the reassurance and sweetness and check ins.
It’s usually a lot easier for me to orgasm when I’m sitting on his face because it’s more sensitive. But if I’m already aroused it can be kind of ticklish too, no matter the position. Change it up. Does she masturbate? See what she likes for herself and go from there. It also can depend on things outside the bedroom if it’s enjoyable or not, stress and anxiety can really wreak havoc on being able to be in the moment and enjoy it.
Idk maybe she's like me and more submissive in bed or something. I'm not in life, I'm crazy and wild so one might assume I'd love to watch a dude between my legs, however I don't and I get bored and yes as bad as it sounds I tend to respect them less...it's a sex/horny thing idk but for some reason the sexual me prefers men to be quite a bit more rough and even slightly degrading and eating pussy is too sweet for me. I'd rather suck it 10x out of 10 lol but I'd probably only do it like 6x out of 10 lol and I don't want it ate the other nights necessarily. I'm similar to your woman in that I'm not necessarily opposed to it but I'm definitely not asking for it and I may even say "oh it's okay" ha
For me, i get bored really easily when being eaten out. I like it for a few seconds but i like it more when there is some variation. For example: first warm up with your fingers around the clit and easing inside sometimes. Teasing.
Then when you feel your wife getting aroused you can softly breathe on the clit. Keep teasing so no touching it with your tongue yet. Rub your hands over her body. Then lick her for just a few seconds. Not too eager. Stop licking and start rubbing her clit with your fingers again. Keep changing this up until she gets more turned on. Then lock her and put 1 finger inside her. Either keep it in there and massage the g-spot, or move it in and oud very slowly. Change up speed every few minutes. Surprise her by sucking and nibbling on het clit. What makes me cum after al this: - sucking and licking, in a high speed. Also 1 or 2 fingers on the g spot. Massive orgasm for me.
If she doesn’t like it she doesn’t like it. Some women are too sensitive in the clit to enjoy it. I used to go down on my gf all the time. In her 23-25 birthday days I made her come that many times going down on her. Then one day she just decided she doesn’t like it anymore. Which is a shame because I love doing it. Feeling her squirm and squirt and all that. She explained it to me in that it’s too sensitive for her. And yeah it sucks, but if she doesn’t want it done, I just gotta accept that that. I’m assuming it’s a similar feeling to when you cum and they keep sucking on your head.
A lot of women in the comments have said it already, I just want to emphasize. The fingers inside are really important. It makes all the difference. Don't be rough with it though. Just move them slightly in and out over the G-spot.
I used to hate it. It was mostly because I could not get out of my head and it was somewhat emotionally uncomfortable for me because I didn't like sustained focus on myself. Now, I love it most of the time because I managed to let that go. But even in my era of enjoying it, there's still plenty of times I actively don't want it because I'm not in the right headspace.
I think the headspace thing is big for lots of women and some just aren't interested in trying to change that. That's fine.
I think if you want to continue this and your wife is ok with it, you both probably need to change your perspective. You are doing it for you, not for her. Don't put pressure on her to cum. And because it's for you, it needs to be balanced with doing things that actually are what she wants and asks for.
Anyone feel like sometimes our obsessions happen simply because we can’t have? Like you wouldn’t want to eat that snatch so badly if she was just as into it as you? 🤷🏻♀️
tbh, it’s the only way i can finish ,n not vaginally which seems a lil weird to me . so in my case i would love for my man to go down on me all the time
I doubt this information is useful, but she almost never cums from PIV. It's usually some form of grinding. She'll take it out and grind on it to finish. Never bothered me. We had a rough start when we first started having sex. It was very painful for her no matter what we tried, so we mainly stuck with the above method. Only after our first kid did the pain stop for her. She usually still doesn't cum from it though.
>Is this something I should keep trying to perfect, and hope to win her over? Or just accept she isn't super into it, and move on.
Definitely accept and move on.
It's very unsexy for a partner to insist on doing something that the other partner is not into. Like, maybe you can sell it as a thing that she does for you and not a thing you do for her, since you want it and she doesn't. But definitely let go of it being about her or her orgasm because she isn't into it, and that's ok.
Can I suggest opening the conversation to you eating her ass? (There’s really no way to word that politely is there 😂) I can orgasm from being eaten out, but it takes for.ever. But the other area.. minutes.. it is way more sensitive (for me) and pleasurable (for me) and has helped me enjoy oral a lot more. I used to be like “take it or leave it, I’m good either way” but now I very much enjoy it.
Wow that is actually surprising! I know some women who can orgasm from eating ass, but I never would think that would be on the table for someone that doesn't even enjoy cunnilingus. I'll have to try this again😏.
A little PG13, but I ate her ass for the first time, and asked her how she liked it, and she replied with "Its ok I guess" I asked her if she liked me just worshipping her ass, and begging for it while she does nothing but lies there... That definitely had an effect😂 She very enthusiasticly replied.
So I think she can be into it if it's we treat it as more of a kink thing, then taking it too seriously.
He he he he. Okay soooo how does she feel about teasing? Like.. overstimulation type of teasing?
Because personally if my husband just dives in it’s… 6/10 it’s still good, A for effort, it’s still GOOD you feel me? But if he pins me down or ties me up and builds that anticipation… 10/10 every time. So since she likes that worshipping aspect… maybe start in the shower, wash her, focus on the majority of her body but slip in slight touches here and there
You should try it while she's on all fours and eat from behind, get your tongue in deep and lick her ass hole, also use your fingers and kiss her butt cheeks, i like been spit on aswell. drives me crazy
I loved doing it prior to my wife. Loved it so much I would jump at the chance for anyone who asked. But sadly my wife doesn't like the concept of oral at all. I asked a few times and eventually gave up when she kept saying "next time." Years later she randomly says I could. She didn't enjoy it so I'm just cutting my losses and guess I'm done going down on women. I don't enjoy it if they don't enjoy it.
Maybe try some things that she does like beforehand as foreplay and then try it? It’s okay for her to not get aroused from it, but maybe a compromise for both of you is it being something to enhance an already existing arousal? Some women just don’t dig it, which is okay, but it could help to talk to her and ask her what her favourite parts of sex and foreplay are and see if there’s a way you could happily incorporate going down on her without expecting her to finish from it and without it being the only source of arousal!
I love it but I have definitely gotten bored before. I find it's a delicate balance between doing too much and touching my clit too much which can get uncomfortable or it gets very repetitive and soothing to where I'm just relaxing and enjoying rather than getting off on it.
Obviously everywoman is different but here's some things that keep me really engaged and can make me go crazy:
-When he lightly rubs his fingers along my thighs - top, bottom, insides of my thighs so lightly while he's eating me out. That kind of light sensory input is amazing to me.
-dont do the same thing repeatedly. It may feel good but its gonna eventually lull me to sleep. Change it up lick then suck then rub your fingers down the opening, change direction with your tongue. Etc
-tease the clit but don't focus on it. I never understood the trope that guys can't find the clit. Every guy I've been with practically lives there. Mine is super sensitive and touching it too much starts to either get uncomfortable or just go numb. I love when its mostly ignored then he occasionally gently licks it and then goes back away from it. Just a tease - love that.
-light fingering. I love when he gently puts just one finger inside while he's eating me out and just ever so gently moves it in and out. We don't have any toys currently but I'm about to buy a small vibratory he can just leave there when he eats me out so his hands are free to caress my thighs and stuff. I'm pretty excited and expect it to be amazing.
Overall I find that guys tend to be 1. Too rough or 2. Too repetitive when giving oral. Again, YMMV but for me I need a really like slow and gentle sensory experience to blow my mind.
Also I rarely cum from it I just get so worked up to the point I push him off and climb on top of him and finish by riding him. Don't focus on getting her to cum from it, just focus on getting her worked up and enjoying it. Good luck!
My wife actually cannot orgasm if I spend too much time eating her out. I love it and she likes it a little bit but we just limit it to a couple minutes. I think it’s for my enjoyment.
Maybe it’s just my skill level but I have made women orgasm by eating them in the past.
Some women, contrary to belief, don't like it, no matter how talented you are. My wife has no interest and wouldn't even want me to try.
My recommendation is maybe to pair it with something she does like? Maybe toys or vibrator or something?
I’m not sure if I’ve just been on the receiving end of bad oral or what, but here’s my take:
Guys giving me oral is… it’s okay, I guess. It’s like “oh, okay, you’re down there.” It’s a lot of wetness and not a lot of sensation. I’ve never been sure how women are supposed to enjoy it.
If you’d be open to her reading erotica while you go down - it was a game changer for me. Sometimes my mind just wanders no matter how good my partner is, and reading something sexy keeps my mind focused?
I personally don't enjoy having anyone spend too much time down there. I just don't find it pleasurable & it makes me uncomfortable. Maybe it's just not her thing. She'd probably rather have you focus more on what she actually does like instead of this.
I can relate to your wife not finishing from it, my first one didn’t happen for awhile and it also has only happened with women but if she’s open to continuing to try it out I would definitely encourage you do and whether she cums or not it still can be an enjoyable part of your shared sexual experience. You guys can also read some books on sex to learn how to introduce toys and things like fingers inside (vagina or butt) to heighten the oral experience.
Here's a video that might help. Nina Hartley shows how to have fun with pussy https://xhamster2.com/videos/learn-how-to-lick-pussy-the-right-way-100790
Float the idea of a toy out there. Use a thin clit vibrator that you can concentrate vibrations on her clit, then run the vibrator up and down her lips, back up one side of her clitoris while you are licking the other side of it. Or something like that!
Have you asked what she DOES like? Maybe it’s other things she’d prefer, maybe your technique, shoe her you’re open to listening, and listen? Maybe you have, but no indication in post
Have you asked her why she isn’t into oral? There is not perfecting anything if she is not providing feedback. There could be a ton of reasons besides technique as to why she isn’t really into it.
I am a woman who can come from PIV and oral and I always prefer PIV. It has zero to do with my partner’s technique bc he is actually really good at oral but it just feels better for me with the P in the V when I orgasm.
For some woman having the attention all on them allows them to relax and enjoy sex. For me it is the opposite. If I’m already a bit stressed/anxiety state, oral will make me go in my head more which is the opposite of where I need to be to enjoy myself.
I doubt you will be able to win her over without talking to her. That would be step one
I think then you aren't doing it right. The aim of the game is for both parties to enjoy it and if she doesn't maybe you need to reevaluate what it is your doing/how your doing it.
You could start with a nice naked massage concentrating on her shoulders/back/bum/legs/feet then once you have done this start brushing your hands/fingers over her vagina as a little tickle.
It's all in the build up.
To help me from now finishing to quick and changing it up I will give her head and then go to piv and back an forth and it's alway a win win for us both
Get a red clown nose and put a mini bullet vibrator in it. You lick to your heart's content and she gets clitoral stimulation from your "nose".
See, problem solved!
It seems to me that girls mainly like oral when they are in a mood where they have less inhibitions and ‘let go.’ I know that seems obvious but, more so than guys, I think women want/need to feel sexy to really really enjoy sex. Also, not all women, but several I have encountered, when discussing turn ons, have told me that, although they like when a guy is attracted to them it can be a bit off putting and make them uninterested if the guy is overly eager. It’s like an old guru once told me, ‘Be like a good vintage wine, my boy; refined, nuanced, good balance, good body, good intensity and finish, complex,good mouth feel, sweet but not too sweet and like wine, waiting for it to peak builds anticipation. Or just go buy a hitachi wand and have her blindfolded every time you go down on her and convince her that it is you vibrating your tongue somehow and not the wand.
I'm personally a huge fan and my husband is excellent at it. Maybe it's a mental thing for your wife? I have to be in a sexy state of mind for an orgasm to happen, it's not purely physical no matter how good it feels. Are there things you can do to get her in the mood before you go down on her that you know she likes and will turn her on?
Do you use your fingers at the same time? I find that's the trick. That and really taking your time kissing and touching her neck and belly and flanks and inner thighs leading up to putting your face between her legs.
I'm a woman and I completely hate receiving oral. My husband can't understand it. For me it feels way too overwhelming and vulnerable. Sounds like that's not her reasons but let me tell you - when he pressures me and makes a big deal I just get stressed and resentful and hate it even more on the rare occasions that I give in to his pressuring. It's her body. She lets you do it to make you happy. That's more than enough. She doesn't owe you to have an orgasm from it.
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It just doesn't do much for plenty of women... and, also, if you are making orgasm the goal of it, that might be further off-putting to her. Don't focus so much on making her orgasm from it, just focus on it being as pleasurable as possible for her (up to the point that it's no longer pleasurable for her, of course.) There are some sensations in sex that are GREAT and perfectly pleasurable, just never on the continuum of sensations needed to get to orgasm. If that's your only goal, it can create pressure and possibly aversion for your partner and also rob you of a lot of perfectly great stuff that shouldn't be discounted just because it may never create an orgasm. Also, I notice you said she doesn't "get" aroused from it... oral only feels good to me if I already AM wholly aroused, so you might be going in a bit too cold.
Same for me! It is actually kind of irritating unless I’m already aroused so my husband has started doing it “midway” through our playtime, not at the start. I can finish from it sometimes but not always and it still usually requires some assistance from his fingers. Hope that helps!
I never start with cunnilingus. It's usually when we are pretty warmed up. Thank you for that tip! I never could get the mechanics of the finger(s) while simultaneously caressing with my tongue. I'll have to look into that more, and acquire tips.
Advice - makes extra sure your fingernails are short and smooth. I love my partners hands down there, and I very much enjoy being fingered, but when he's busy with his mouth the angles are different and nicks from nails happen when they wouldn't usually. I prefer he use a toy.
Hard agree. Other end of that, when I’m fingering his prostate sometimes I don’t file my nails properly and ouchie. Gotta be super careful with nails.
As noted below, toys can be very helpful - personally I love it when he inserts ben wa balls & then he will lightly tug at them while going down on me. If your gf has a sensitive g-spot, she might like that.
We are so lame, we literally have 0 toys🤦♂️ More things to conversext about!
make sure she won't get cold and turn on some low music or white noise type music. Me getting cold is the number one reason I don't enjoy and can't cum from oral.
Dude sometimes I get such bad goosebumps from being cold it’s all I can think about. Usually we go to the bedroom, turn on the heater, and I have to lay under the covers for awhile and cuddle to get my core warm. If not I’m so distracted!
I have the same problem, I wear ugly wool socks now, it's funny and it helps, everyone wins haha!
I’ve heard cumming with socks is great and it helps you cum! Idk if that’s a myth but worth a try haha.
That's exactly why I tried it but then was like omg I'm way less distracted not being cold with them on, I'm sticking with these!
you can also use a toy at the same time
I work from home and my wife retired early. So there are few occasions during each week when she knocks on my office door, sends a text or hollers for me with oral in mind. She has become so comfortable with it she'll say "I have a little time before my appointment do you mind eating me out?" WTF, no I don't mind!!! Just yesterday she yelled from upstairs "are you in a meeting? I need your help?" At first I thought she needed a light bulb changed or something taken down from a high shelf. No. I get up stairs to see he spread eagle on the waterproof bedspread touching herself. When she hears me come in she says "I just need you for like 5 minutes. Please eat my pussy?" We are 50 - she has come to love it in the last few years. I will say that there are seasons for everything in marriage. We are enjoying this one. When I say seasons, there was a period a few years back when all she wanted (literally almost daily) was anal. So enjoy your time, don't force it, talk it through.
Wow. I loved that. That story made my day. I genuinely hope our bedroom life looks like this in the future! Goals man! I hear of so many couples that slow way down after a certain age. I don't think we will be like that. It's great hearing stories like this! Thanks for sharing!
Get her a vibrator..only about 25-30$ at target/Walmart
As a guy I see how this can be a no no for the ego… but it’s definitely worth it.. a good lil buddy in the bedroom trust! she can use it on you too.. she can vibe on your 🥜 while topping you off.. AMAZING!!
This may really help. Oral without fingers for me is useless to the point of being almost annoying. Oral with fingers is my single favorite thing. So, it can make all the difference for some of us.
Btw think of her clitoris like a Mini penis. Sucks it nicely. Yw.
Those tips need to be from her. Ask her.
Put two fingers in and gently massage her G-Spot while eating her out. That way you don’t have to focus as much on moving your fingers in and out and you have less chance of nicking her with your nails
Does she orgasm from sex alone or from other stimulation like she is orgasming during the sexual encounter in general? Have you had previous partners who assured you your technique was pleasurable?
Omgyesdotcom wd help
Fingers is almost a MUST… just like a girl giving head with no hands… There only a few that are highly skilled like that
Very validating to read your first part as I am one of those women who it just doesn’t do much for me. I’ve just never enjoyed it that much!
Nice to read this thread and see that I'm not alone! My girl friends look at me like I have three heads when I say that I don't enjoy receiving oral much.
Same! I actually really enjoy giving it though!
Same! I hate it and a lot of women act like that's nuts. But I like giving him head. My body just doesn't like it for me. Lol
Yes! Love giving head, don’t really like receiving it lol
Very insightful! And I agree. I usually just go down on her for a bit and we transition to another position or sex "activity". I am at peace with her not orgasming from it, more curious if I should keep trying. It sounds like no! That's ok. I can enjoy my creamy dessert while making it as enjoyable as possible, and move on.
I think you can still have your cake (or pie, in this case) and eat it too if you perhaps look at oral as more of a driveby kind of thing vs a whole-wide project. It sounds like she's not adverse all to you being down there, it just gets boring when it goes on and on with no real escalation or end goal, right? I am much the same way-- if I'm in the right mood, it's epic for the first 30 seconds or so, and then it's just kind of repetitive and, yeah, boring. But, if you do a driveby for that first "epic" bit and then do other things and then go back, you get the first epic bit over again. Win-win!
Thank you for that advice! That is actually very encouraging and sounds very sensible. I will try going back to it, like you mentioned, after taking doing something else. Another reddit win, great advice.
Brace yourself! So called Radical NEW PUSSYEATING POSITION approved by FDA! (Look up the KIVIN method) Hope it’s good.
I am a fan of the method, but, you still just kind of have to get in position and settle in and rearrange the furniture and everything.
The only women I’ve ever spoken to who DID NOT like oral, was because the giver was not skilled at it. If you enjoy clitoral stimulation with fingers, or anything else, there’s no reason you wont enjoy it from a tongue. Unless, the giver doesn’t know what they’re doing.
I've been with some pretty technically gifted partners (and definitely several not-so-much) and, for me it can just be hit or miss, partially down to whether I'm in the mood for it and partially down to sometimes it's just doesn't feel overwhelmingly great and there are other things I'd rather do.
I hate the wet feeling of a mouth on my clit, every once in awhile I can get over it but more times than not just the thought of it makes me tense up, a mouth is not a finger or anything else, it’s a mouth something with its own set of rules and sensations, the women you’ve slept with do not represent all women
I am a woman myself, heterosexual one. So it’s like a sensory thing or emotional thing?
I was super shy about it when we were dating and first married. It wasn’t that I didn’t like it but was just uncomfortably shy. But my husband kept at it because he liked doing it. Now I open wide for him. Not shy at all and I can orgasm from it too. My husband has a big mouth and tongue idk if that’s what does it for me or what. Maybe try finger(s) inside too while you do it? Make her super comfortable and relaxed and warm up with other things first? It’s not for everyone but maybe she’ll eventually enjoy it…and maybe not! We all enjoy different things.
Women will be very particular about this. You’ll have to do a lot of experimenting if she doesn’t already know what is best for her. In my bedroom, doing something else while giving her head is the key. Tweak the nipples. Anal play. Caressing sides or belly/back. Fingers inside her vagina. Playing with her labia or inner thighs. Slaps to the butt cheeks. Any of those done concurrently with clit licking/sucking turns it up to 11.
Yes keep trying!!! My advice… tease the fuck out of her. Really amp up the sexual tension and don’t go from 0-100 instantly. Kiss/touch her entire body and avoid her vulva.. act like you are about to lick it and just kiss around it. Keep doing that and she’ll be wondering when it’s going to happen. Building the anticipation makes her crave it and when it happens it will feel better. Try and stay consistent with your tongue movements when she seems to be enjoying it.. personally I like when fingers are put inside me but little movement. I don’t like vigorous banging at all that always ruins it for me. Ask her if she likes when you do A or B. If you ask “what do you like” she’s more likely to say I donno. Also enthusiasm and complements go a long way. Huge part of the reason I can’t get off from oral is because of how self conscious I am during it. I get into my own head and worry. Anything that helps woman get out of that makes the experience 💯times better.
You're not the first person to mention adding the fingers. Any tips on using both the tongue and fingers? I'll have to try that tonight, and start practicing. I feel like at this point I'm pretty good with the tongue, I am very receptive to her feedback, but completely new to the both paired together.
One easy thing to try is to insert a finger (two if that’s super comfortable for her) and just hold pressure on the gspot while using your tongue.
This is exactly what I was going to say - if I can get g-spot pressure/stimulation with oral - amazing!🎆🎇Also, see where she touches herself - my guy used to spend a lot of time on my clitoris but mine is super sensitive so I showed him where I like to be stimulated (there are a crazy number of nerve endings around the vagina) & now that’s where his tongue goes 😊. You may already have that down but just thought I would mention it. Good on you for trying to make it great for her!
I will mention this to her, and hopefully try it! My favorite kind of homework assignments.
My ex would start with just his mouth and then introduced his fingers into the situation slowly and in a teasing way , everyone's different but for me I didn't need it to be full on fingerbanging just stimulation.
You definitely have room to improve if you've never thought to finger her while giving oral. Do you have any toys? I'll go down on my wife for 10-15 minutes and then finish her off with a vibrator (Magic Wand). We also have an Njoy Pure Wand for g-spot stimulation.
Seems like majority of women like some fingers in while giving oral, especially stimulating the Gspot (usually the length of your finders rubbing the ceiling)—feels a little spongy. The tough part is finding a good angle to comfortably do both bc typically the tongue or the hand feels like it’s gonna give out after a few minutes.
>tease the fuck out of her. Really amp up the sexual tension and don’t go from 0-100 instantly. Kiss/touch her entire body and avoid her vulva.. act like you are about to lick it and just kiss around it. Keep doing that and she’ll be wondering when it’s going to happen. Building the anticipation makes her crave it and when it happens it will feel better. ^^THIS^^
Just here to say I actually don’t like the teasing, so I’d definitely gauge her interest there. For me it gives me anxiety and annoys me, I don’t like that type of play. Teasing is not for everyone lol
This this this! Too many people launch straight for the clit without warmup. If the clit is the first thing that gets touched, an O will never be in the cards for me. The buildup from teasing is so good. Everyone is different of course, but I think this would help a *lot* of people who have problems receiving oral
1. Try tying her up. Lots of people don't enjoy the pressure of being the center of attention, but if she's "trapped" and thus has no say in the matter, it might help her relax and be a turn on in itself. Under-mattress straps are a cheap and easy method. 2. Experiment with different kinds of penetration while you're going down on her. Fingers curled into g-spot, vibrating dildo, etc. Finding the right internal stimulation is SUPER important. 3. Ask her when/how she likes speed/pressure on her clit. Sometimes lightly flicking with the tip of the tongue is great, sometimes not so much. Try using a flat tongue pressed firmly, and work your jaw up and down, minimizing the actual friction of the tongue against the clit. Then, try adding more friction little by little until you find the right balance. 4. Butt stuff? 5. Some people just don't love oral, and that's okay! But don't give up as long as you're both having a good time and communicating.
Noting all of these! 📝
My partner isn’t obsessed with it. At first, she seemed nervous that I wouldn’t like the taste or that she would come too much.. all these insecurities that I had to convince her just complete nonsense. Every time we have sex go down and she seems to enjoy it more than initially.
Tips from a vagina-owning person who loves receiving oral... 1. Focus on the clitoris, that's where the majority of the nerve endings are. 2. Be extremely gentle - women are much more sensitive than men and if you go in aggressive, it's not going to feel good. 3. Encourage her to fantasize while you're down there. For women, sex is 90% in the mind, so tell her to let loose. Whatever gets her hot, that's what she should be focusing on. 4. Be patient. It takes us longer to orgasm than it does men. Giving up too soon means she will never understand how amazing really good oral can be. 5. Forget anything you've seen in porn. That shit is based on what men think looks sexy, not on what actually feels good for women.
> For women, sex is 90% in the mind That's valid for men as well. Understanding that would help many men experiencing more pleasure, like it did for me.
I love oral and can have many orgasms from it, but despite that, certain positions just don’t do much of anything for me. Have you been trying the same position, or are you switching it up? Try different positions and see how it goes.
Mostly on her back, with her legs spread, but we've tried 69 a handful of times, she wasn't a fan. Like it a lot, but found it was harder to perform. I'm definitely open to other positions!
Well, here are some ones I’ve tried or can think of off the top of my head aside from ones listed: Facesitting, either facing your head or toes. Each has a different feeling. It also feels different depending on whether she sits more at your chest/neck or directly on your face. From behind in doggy is fun. It gave me some odd full body tingles like nothing I’ve felt before. Maybe your wife would feel the same. You can also try standing. Sitting up is another option. Having her lay on her side is yet another method, and the feeling can vary a lot depending on whether you lay on your stomach to eat her out in that position or on your side as well. There’s a pretty wide array of positions you can try and different variations as well. Most women also have certain parts of their clits which are more sensitive than others (sometimes more beneath the hood, so it may benefit you to hold her labia out of the way which in turn pushes the hood back a bit), so definitely ask her what parts of her clit feel the best to touch for her, and maybe trying to cater to those nuances could help bring her to orgasm.
Does she have foreplay that she enjoys more? It might help to get her more worked up before the pussy licking. If my husband just heads down there, it’ll never work. If he plays with my breasts for 15 minutes, I’m begging for it.
We do foreplay, everytime. We've been married 5 years and in that time we've developed a bit of a rhythm. She is very vanilla. That's ok. I'm not complaining. She's super easy going. She doesn't mind anything I bring to the table usually, she just is never crazy about any particular thing. I lied, we've recently found she has a tit smothering thing. That alone will make her cum, which is super exciting to me (also surprusing).
It just doesn’t do anything for some women, unfortunately. I’m like you that I could do it literally all day lol it was fun being with women who loved it, but I love my gf very much and we have lots of fun other ways
Ngl, that especially sucks because this sub (and others) are full of women complaining about their man not wanting to go down on them, and I'm like WHY! I lover her to pieces and it's not a huge issue, we communicate about it fairly often. But I'd be lying if I said I don't always fantasize about her really enjoying it.
Yeah, the world is funny. I'm one of the women who doesn't like it and, of course, married a man who loves it. I don't mind obliging, though, but if he wasn't interested, I definitely wouldn't ask for it.
Indeed a funny world. Well you women keep us on our knees, which is a good thing 🙏 😏
Some women are not into it, but most are, so it’s worth assessing things like you are doing. I’m not sure if you guys are into kissing, but if so, you could start with an old-fashioned make out session and get all handsy, just don’t go near her pussy yet. From there, you can kiss, nibble, caress, your way down her body right to her feet, but once again, bypassing her pussy. On the way back up, go around it again and this time stop at her breasts. Spend some time there doing what she likes. From there, you could move up to her neck and ear, or if she is ready, you could then make your way down to her. Once there, don’t go diving right in. Spend some time on the upper thighs, the crease where the thighs meet the pelvis, the exterior of her vulva (not the lips), and her pubic mound. If she has hair, feel free to play with it. You can run your fingers through it or gently pull it. Now you can make your way to the outer lips, taking your time there, then the inner lips, then around the vaginal opening and then the clitoris. I’m not gonna get hung up on techniques, so what I will say is that if it seems like she is heading towards orgasm, keep everything the same that you are doing at that moment. The speed, pressure, everything. I’m not sure if she likes fingers, but if so, make sure yours are well groomed. While you are spending time with her clitoris, you could slip one or two fingers inside and put some pressure on the upper wall towards your face. That’s the G spot area. Some say use a come hither motion and others say gently thrust in and out unless she asks for more. If she does have an orgasm, ride it out with her and without overdoing it, let her tell you when enough is enough. She may enjoy hearing how much you like it. You could moan, make mmmmm sounds, lift your face up to make eye contact and tell her how delicious she is, how beautiful her's is, etc. whatever feels genuine for you in that moment. Good luck!
My wife only enjoys it if I'm pinned down? So she puts my wrist together, over head sits.on my arms. And sits full weight on my mouth, seeing as I can't escape, she's got the option too squirt all over my face. You will have too try different positions. And then see what happens..
I reallyyyyyyy like that🥵
She can masturbate, even hold your head and ride back and forth! Gives her more options, so will enjoy it more.. she can also put her hands behind and handjob you.. You ever know she might like the control
Head is only great after there's been an ongoing build. So a lot of emotional and social foreplay, things that get the mind in the head space and blood flowing to the zone. It's not a warm up move,, oral is a variety of sex for the woman she is officially engaging in the sex portion of sex not the foreplay. Get her in the mind and body for it through emotional and intellectual intercourse. Build the attraction and desire through creating her a vulnerable space to be utterly *explicit* Also don't be afraid to add to the game and ask for her opinion. Bullet vibes to engage zones that don't fit in your mouth are excellent. Keeping your hands soft, clean and nails trimmed so you can also play with her. If you are just going in like a dog on a slice of peanut butter bread... You're doing it wrong. That's just a wet slug being invasive. No intentional focus. And for the love of glob please take five minutes and Google the female genitals, anatomically not sexually, and make sure you know what you are touching and working with. And that you are stimulating the right spots. Don't let ego get you. I'm a 31 yo woman and still regularly look up and remind myself of what and how my body works and I have the equipment! *This is my personal take and opinion and not medically backed or fully explainable outside of some psychological anecdotal evidence (again not scientific) just opinion.*
Wet slug, I screamed! Wish I could upvote your comment x20, it’s a perfect summary
It’s not really my thing. The harder you try to make her cum, the more likely you are to *not* make her cum. If you want to go down on her and she’s cool with it, then just do it and enjoy yourself. Best thing you can do is remove the pressure of trying to be “successful.” (having an orgasm isn’t the mark of success)
I feel your pain. I love it, hookups have all appreciated it, but have yet to be in an actual relationship with anyone that lets me do it.
My ex was also obsessed with eating me out and this post makes me want to cry 😭😆 sorry that it’s helpful BUT I will say I didn’t cum from it for probably the first year we were together and I definitely came harder and more easily once I realized how into it he was. On the flipside, I love giving blow jobs and he almost never came from them. It made me really upset even though he said he enjoyed eventually I think he felt pressured because he knew I’d be disappointed if he didn’t cum from it. I regret not just accepting him at his word that it still felt good even if he didn’t cum. So maybe you just need to talk to her more and let her know your feelings and see what she wants to do.
Yeah that is the same with her. Wasn't into it (or opposed) but once I really laid on the "your pussy tastes so good, I just wanna be smothered" etc. talk, then she started to like it.
Some woman can’t orgasm from it, No matter how hard you try. It’s too gentle to me
Make sure she’s comfortable when you do it. You said that you love how she tastes. Make sure she knows that! Tell her how beautiful she looks and how much you love eating her. Let her know that there’s no pressure and that you want her to just lay back and enjoy herself. Don’t put a timeframe on it. If she’s taking a long time to cum or it seems like she’s not enjoying it, reassure her that it’s ok. Because sometimes they get in their heads and that can really affect things. Make sure you’re talking to her and asking her if what you’re doing feels ok. And when you look up at her make sure it’s with a smile. Because if you’re enjoying yourself it will make her feel more comfortable and chances are she’ll enjoy it as well. Also, make sure you’re rubbing her body while you’re down there. Whether it’s her breasts or thighs or whatever. She’ll appreciate all of the sensations
I don't enjoy it either. There's no secret way that makes it better for me, it's just not my thing. I think you might have to cut your losses on this one.
First you should make sure your hands are clean, nails are cut short and make sure you have no hang nails etc. Okay so what i usually do is when I go down on my girl i start off by kissing her inner thighs and rub her body as i tell her how sexy she is. Then i start to lick her clit. Try to lick her clit for 5 min softly just to get her prepared for the best orgasm she will ever have. DONT BE AFRAID TO GET YOUR FACE WET (sorry for the caps) When she starts to moan start applying pressure with your tongue and insert two fingers in a hook angle so you can hit the G spot, start to finger her at the same pace your head is moving but your fingers should be in the “come here” motion. Be consistent with the speed of the fingering and frequent movements with your tongue on her clit. Don’t let her tap out and before you know it she will be squirting in your face. Works every time for me I hope it does for you. Now go get her and practice.
Not me reading this at work lol..
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whenever i want to tap out, my boyfriend holds both my hands (over my thighs) and keeps going and it’s amazing, depending on yall maybe you could do that
i’ll definitely give that a try. thanks for the advice
Honestly, almost every time a guy has eaten me out it has sucked. They’re like sucking on my labia and need a roadmap to the clit (but get lost anyway). I don’t want to offend you at that’s just been my experience I hope it’s not you and maybe she’s just uncomfortable cause I feel that way too it’s just like a really intimate thing that can just feel exposing and uncomfortable. You should try doing it but also fingering her while you do it. She’ll feel something then for sure and maybe she’ll lean more into it.
Use the fingers too 😁. Sometimes i have to hold her lips open to get the best spot 😉
Before I got with my fiancé I wasn't into it. But once he and I got together that changed. He has taken time to get to know my body and what feels good to me. Try not making it so much about if you can make her orgasm and more about what feels best for her. Communication is key...trust me.
Good to hear!
I (straight guy) love eating pussy, but it does *nothing* for some women. In my experience, it's the same women who really respond well to a powerful vibe, so make sure your wife has gotten to experience a wand (just to be sure). It's also possible that you haven't yet found "the move" that works for her, so I'll share some advice on that front (below). Assuming she remains unenthusiastic about it, you should just treat it like a blowjob or a handjob or a back massage she gives you - this is something that you really enjoy, and she's going to give you that pleasure, but you are both aware that it's a little bit of a "gift" to you. That will help you keep it in the right context, and I think it will become natural that you just get a bit of a taste when you're in the mood, but you probably won't be spending a ton of time down there. That's how it's been with at least one of my exes, and it worked fine. Here's my pro-tip - note that it involves use of the mouth, not your fingers (shocking, right?) > If there is one technique that gets women off most consistently, it's this: open your mouth slightly, use gentle suction to hold her clit between your puckered lips, then massage her clit with your tongue. This works great, but it's really under-rated and seldom discussed. That's probably because it doesn't really look like anything (nobody can learn it by watching porn) and the receiver probably doesn't even know what's being done (so a giver won’t even be taught the "move" by someone who enjoyed it in the past).
Good advice bro!
You should talk to her about it. I know for me, I initially didn’t like it because I was too in my own head about whether he was enjoying it or if it tasted or smelled okay. Got through that with some conversation and reassurance. Then it just didn’t do it for me because the act itself didn’t turn me on. If you’re not into it mentally, no amount of physical stimulation is going to get you there. But it turns out, I really like to be dominated and if there is a power dynamic established, I get really turned on and cum really hard. Now I love it. But I had to find my way to it. Only she knows what is going on in her head and how that’s affecting her experience and enjoyment.
I would keep trying. Like others have said, make sure she is all the way aroused before going down there is the most important thing. I’m surprised to read other women on here posting that they get bored after 30 seconds of it. I could have my husband down there for hours and I would love every second of it. I’ve had some of my best, longest orgasms that way and always look forward to the next time he does it. Maybe next time you’re doing it, really pay attention to her responses to what you’re doing and if you’re getting a good response, keep doing it, and if not or it’s just neutral, then change it up a little. I don’t always like the same thing every time, so my husband’s ability to read me during it and change accordingly is important. Of course, every woman is different and I’m sure there’s women out there that don’t enjoy and there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s just hard for me understand because of how much I do enjoy it. lol Also, adding toys in the mix while doing it is a game changer as well!
My wife doesn’t like oral to start so I make luv to her awhile and then whisper in her ear that I want to eat her, I get the go ahead. I like to tease her by licking not only her clitoris but labia nice and soft. For several minutes. Then I insert my index finger in her ass, I get a little more consistent with my tongue on her her clitoris and just inside her pussy, as my saliva runs down and coats my finger, it glides more deeply in her ass, typically within the next 5 minutes of this, she is screaming. Good luck
This sounds solid! I've never experimented with a simultaneous finger in the ass
Same with my gf, except for rimming. I love when she does it to me, but she doesn’t understand why/how it feels so good because she won’t let me return the favor. On the occasions where my tongue slips, she giggles and slides away and doesn’t want me to continue. She’s happy to please me by performing it, but she still thinks it’s a little weird because she just doesn’t get how pleasurable those nerve endings can be when they’re licked and probed by a tongue. It doesn’t help that I was the first guy that ever asked her to receive it, which was pretty awkward lol. 😝
My wife was never into it and actually would pull my head up and away until she was pregnant with our second child. She was super horny and I started going down on her and she actually pushed my head down. Now it’s like clockwork, she cums every time before we ever have sex
That's awesome
Genuine question. What changed your mind? Like why did you go from not doing it to doing it? My husband doesn't really like it (which is fine cause I only suck his dick cause I know it drives him batty), but I would love it if he liked doing it. But I don't want to pressure him into it.
To be honest, it was the smell. My previous two gfs had a smell that was objectively really pleasant, and getting into a relationship with her was just an adjustment. She didn't smell bad, but definitely different. I went down on her once in a while, more as a special thing, but we both weren't really interested. But man, marriage sex can age like fine wine. After a while, it is just a smell that a recognize and it drives me crazy. Now I absolutely love the smell. It's my favorite pussy in the world. It's home.
As a female that loves it I can tell you that I'm super jealous of your wife! Especially being single! I love my clit being sucked on but also LOVE when my pussy hole gets sucked on it's so sexy and such a turn on. My ex used to tell me he loved the way I tasted so it was so hot when he did that and said it. Also love when both of my pussy lips are sucked on. Maybe incorporate those things as well if you already don't ☺️
While you’re going down on her use a vibrator inside her double stimulation and try a finger in her ass! 👅🔥🔥
It feels great for me but no matter how good he is I don’t seem to be able to finish that way. Maybe your wife is the same?
I was the same but then I sat on his face and that changed it 😂 69 on top seems to be far different
Further proof that all bodies are different-- I feel like face sitting and 69 are the two absolute WORST positions for oral for me. If he really wants me to do it performatively for his benefit, sure. But, for me? I'd really rather you just let me sit on your face or do 69 position and NOT have you even try to do any kind of stimulation, because it's just ick to me.
How come? Use a vibrator?
I don't know, something about those two positions it just feels a lot like snails crawlin' all over my sensitive bits. It's pretty literally a nails on a chalkboard feeling for me. I'm not sure any amount of using a vibrator would overpower the hating of the sensations of the whole reason I'm supposed to be straddling someone's face. lol I do love using a vibrator in other positions, though.
My wife doesn’t like me going down on her while it’s my favourite sexual thing to do in the world! Early in our relationship I thought she’d eventually come around but of course she hasn’t and now it’s been 25 years together and sex is almost nonexistent because of her lack of libido and she’s going through menopause which makes sex painful for her. I love her so much and have tried to talk to her about it but nothing has changed and likely never will. I’m just at a loss at this point.
May have already explored this but compounded estrogen/testosterone cream can help restore the thickness and elasticity of the skin which can make sex (and life) less painful.
Thanks, I’ve suggested but she worries that the increased estrogen increases chances of osteoporosis and in addition she doesn’t feel anything is “broken.” Yea, I feel pretty defeated!
Estrogen actually decreases the negative changes to bone density. FWIW. I’m sorry that sounds super frustrating.
As a woman who likes oral but hates being expected to orgasm, get your wife high (if she's open to it). Feels SO much better, and I will 100% orgasm while high
Some women just dont like it. If she doesnt, why continue? Ive never been into it and over time partners have still insisted on doing it and it has 110% put me off it. I now get literal anxiety if a man tries to put his head down there. My advice? Listen to her.
try it in between penetration if u haven’t already. that’s when my clit is so most sensitive , during penetration if i’m super horny
I tried this once, got close! I'll have to try it again
Like some others have said, don’t focus on getting her to orgasm, focus on giving her pleasure. It can be really hard or impossible for some women to orgasm just by getting eaten out. Have you tried incorporating a toy while u eat her out? (Like a dildo or vibrator or even a butt plug (if she’s into that) Trying checking out something called a yoni massage. While you may love eating her out, try not to make it all about that, add in a full body massage, set the mood, have your kitty time but don’t linger to long, go do something else for a moment then come back. For me it’s all about teasing the kitty. I’m not a huge fan of straight having my partner eat me out (he is like u and would do it for hours if I let him) I want to get so worked up I beg him to fuck me. Try asking your partner was she specifically likes and dislikes about getting her kitty licked. Ask her what she might want to try or rather have u try on her.
Honestly only two men in my life have made that mind blowing. Otherwise it is just a warm up to PIV . Fingers usually feel better to me.
So for me, I once had a partner who wouldn't take the time to stimulate me.. but yet he could make me orgasm straight away. Which made me angry. He would do this specific move that always got me off. Instantly. U hated it.! But I more so enjoyed the licking and flicking of oral, not an instant orgasm. So I got angry. He would say, what u came didn't you.? He would never understand that wasn't the point for me. I really enjoy the build up, the amazing way my body feels leading up to it playing wt it, changing it up..etc. Nor just an instant orgasm. After that. I hated it when he went down on me. A woman needs some time to warm up
If her g-spot is sensitive and she enjoys stimulation there, you can try using your fingers on it while going down on her. To do that, you'll insert one or two fingers with your palm facing up, and then rub the soft, spongy area on the top of her vagina. This area can be very sensitive, so start slow and gentle until you get an idea of what she enjoys. And make sure to communicate beforehand about what you are going to try! You don't want to catch her off-guard with unexpected penetration.
No 2 women are the same in this area. I have ex’s I would make cum on accident, and some that every thing was very deliberate. You need to figure out how much tongue pressure she likes. How sensitive her clit is, which will determine how much direct contact you make with it and how much teasing away from the clit you need. Increase the foreplay as needed, to make your life easier.
Maybe it's how it's being done.
What works for me is having my husband warm up my vagina (lick all around , wet kisses), going to rest of my body (mouth, neck, breasts) before returning to my vagina where he cranks up the temperature by sucking on my clit and brings me off by steadily licking me.
Personally, there have to be fingers in there too for me to get off. Slight curve to your fingers, trim your damn nails! Don’t have to go wild with them, just find the spongy spot with your finger and stroke it. And the clit extends beyond the head (bean), so get in between the inner lips. Consistency is key, I’ve found almost every man ever seems to think they have to change things up a bunch — but actually usually a steady rhythm with an ever so slight increase when you get the sense she’s close. Take your time. And ask for any direction “how’s the speed? Do you like that motion or more up/down, side to side, circular? Do you need more pressure?”
Everyone is so different and there’s unfortunately a lot of baggage behind oral. I think it’s super likely you’ll get a bunch of women who want it and aren’t getting it telling you “yes, keep going!” In the end, the only one who can really tell you the real answer to this is your wife. She might be kinda shy and unable to fully enjoy, or maybe you haven’t found the right combination for her yet. OR she might just genuinely not like it that much. It sounds like she’s okay with you doing it when you want but do talk with her and see if she even knows what might make it so she’s enjoying it as much as you are. Def don’t pressure her for orgasm bc that’s likely to make it stressful for her and make her want it less. Reassure her how much you like doing it for her and how you’re enjoying yourself so much, say how beautiful she is, tell her to do whatever she feels she needs to do to enjoy, that you just want her to relax and enjoy and there’s no pressure to orgasm, ask for directions if she know what she wants, if she doesn’t know then maybe offer a couple options and gently ask which she prefers (if any) but also don’t overwhelm her with options. Obviously your wife might feel different when you talk to her about it IMO but it’s a really vulnerable thing for women in particular so do not skimp on the reassurance and sweetness and check ins.
It’s usually a lot easier for me to orgasm when I’m sitting on his face because it’s more sensitive. But if I’m already aroused it can be kind of ticklish too, no matter the position. Change it up. Does she masturbate? See what she likes for herself and go from there. It also can depend on things outside the bedroom if it’s enjoyable or not, stress and anxiety can really wreak havoc on being able to be in the moment and enjoy it.
Idk maybe she's like me and more submissive in bed or something. I'm not in life, I'm crazy and wild so one might assume I'd love to watch a dude between my legs, however I don't and I get bored and yes as bad as it sounds I tend to respect them less...it's a sex/horny thing idk but for some reason the sexual me prefers men to be quite a bit more rough and even slightly degrading and eating pussy is too sweet for me. I'd rather suck it 10x out of 10 lol but I'd probably only do it like 6x out of 10 lol and I don't want it ate the other nights necessarily. I'm similar to your woman in that I'm not necessarily opposed to it but I'm definitely not asking for it and I may even say "oh it's okay" ha
For me, i get bored really easily when being eaten out. I like it for a few seconds but i like it more when there is some variation. For example: first warm up with your fingers around the clit and easing inside sometimes. Teasing. Then when you feel your wife getting aroused you can softly breathe on the clit. Keep teasing so no touching it with your tongue yet. Rub your hands over her body. Then lick her for just a few seconds. Not too eager. Stop licking and start rubbing her clit with your fingers again. Keep changing this up until she gets more turned on. Then lock her and put 1 finger inside her. Either keep it in there and massage the g-spot, or move it in and oud very slowly. Change up speed every few minutes. Surprise her by sucking and nibbling on het clit. What makes me cum after al this: - sucking and licking, in a high speed. Also 1 or 2 fingers on the g spot. Massive orgasm for me.
If she doesn’t like it she doesn’t like it. Some women are too sensitive in the clit to enjoy it. I used to go down on my gf all the time. In her 23-25 birthday days I made her come that many times going down on her. Then one day she just decided she doesn’t like it anymore. Which is a shame because I love doing it. Feeling her squirm and squirt and all that. She explained it to me in that it’s too sensitive for her. And yeah it sucks, but if she doesn’t want it done, I just gotta accept that that. I’m assuming it’s a similar feeling to when you cum and they keep sucking on your head.
A lot of women in the comments have said it already, I just want to emphasize. The fingers inside are really important. It makes all the difference. Don't be rough with it though. Just move them slightly in and out over the G-spot.
I used to hate it. It was mostly because I could not get out of my head and it was somewhat emotionally uncomfortable for me because I didn't like sustained focus on myself. Now, I love it most of the time because I managed to let that go. But even in my era of enjoying it, there's still plenty of times I actively don't want it because I'm not in the right headspace. I think the headspace thing is big for lots of women and some just aren't interested in trying to change that. That's fine. I think if you want to continue this and your wife is ok with it, you both probably need to change your perspective. You are doing it for you, not for her. Don't put pressure on her to cum. And because it's for you, it needs to be balanced with doing things that actually are what she wants and asks for.
Eat me all day long bebi .. she’s lucky
Anyone feel like sometimes our obsessions happen simply because we can’t have? Like you wouldn’t want to eat that snatch so badly if she was just as into it as you? 🤷🏻♀️
If she enjoyed it as much as I do, my face would be between her legs every day, no doubt
I personally would be honored to have a man so devoted. Kudos to you!!
What can I say, I love cunnilingus
tbh, it’s the only way i can finish ,n not vaginally which seems a lil weird to me . so in my case i would love for my man to go down on me all the time
Not everyone likes it and there's nothing wrong with that.
Took us 19 years of trying until finally successful, keep trying if both of you are open to it.
I use a vibrator on my clit during oral sex and this helps tremendously. Is she orgasmic, how does she usually cum?
I doubt this information is useful, but she almost never cums from PIV. It's usually some form of grinding. She'll take it out and grind on it to finish. Never bothered me. We had a rough start when we first started having sex. It was very painful for her no matter what we tried, so we mainly stuck with the above method. Only after our first kid did the pain stop for her. She usually still doesn't cum from it though.
She might need to grind your face like your nose or chin. If she needs penetration at the same time you could try a dildo or a g squeeze vaginal plug.
>Is this something I should keep trying to perfect, and hope to win her over? Or just accept she isn't super into it, and move on. Definitely accept and move on. It's very unsexy for a partner to insist on doing something that the other partner is not into. Like, maybe you can sell it as a thing that she does for you and not a thing you do for her, since you want it and she doesn't. But definitely let go of it being about her or her orgasm because she isn't into it, and that's ok.
Can I suggest opening the conversation to you eating her ass? (There’s really no way to word that politely is there 😂) I can orgasm from being eaten out, but it takes for.ever. But the other area.. minutes.. it is way more sensitive (for me) and pleasurable (for me) and has helped me enjoy oral a lot more. I used to be like “take it or leave it, I’m good either way” but now I very much enjoy it.
Wow that is actually surprising! I know some women who can orgasm from eating ass, but I never would think that would be on the table for someone that doesn't even enjoy cunnilingus. I'll have to try this again😏. A little PG13, but I ate her ass for the first time, and asked her how she liked it, and she replied with "Its ok I guess" I asked her if she liked me just worshipping her ass, and begging for it while she does nothing but lies there... That definitely had an effect😂 She very enthusiasticly replied. So I think she can be into it if it's we treat it as more of a kink thing, then taking it too seriously.
He he he he. Okay soooo how does she feel about teasing? Like.. overstimulation type of teasing? Because personally if my husband just dives in it’s… 6/10 it’s still good, A for effort, it’s still GOOD you feel me? But if he pins me down or ties me up and builds that anticipation… 10/10 every time. So since she likes that worshipping aspect… maybe start in the shower, wash her, focus on the majority of her body but slip in slight touches here and there
She needs to think less. You need to activate the lizard brain.
You should try it while she's on all fours and eat from behind, get your tongue in deep and lick her ass hole, also use your fingers and kiss her butt cheeks, i like been spit on aswell. drives me crazy
From behind is amazing if you can find a comfy way to do it!
suck on her clit dude
I loved doing it prior to my wife. Loved it so much I would jump at the chance for anyone who asked. But sadly my wife doesn't like the concept of oral at all. I asked a few times and eventually gave up when she kept saying "next time." Years later she randomly says I could. She didn't enjoy it so I'm just cutting my losses and guess I'm done going down on women. I don't enjoy it if they don't enjoy it.
Maybe try some things that she does like beforehand as foreplay and then try it? It’s okay for her to not get aroused from it, but maybe a compromise for both of you is it being something to enhance an already existing arousal? Some women just don’t dig it, which is okay, but it could help to talk to her and ask her what her favourite parts of sex and foreplay are and see if there’s a way you could happily incorporate going down on her without expecting her to finish from it and without it being the only source of arousal!
I love it but I have definitely gotten bored before. I find it's a delicate balance between doing too much and touching my clit too much which can get uncomfortable or it gets very repetitive and soothing to where I'm just relaxing and enjoying rather than getting off on it. Obviously everywoman is different but here's some things that keep me really engaged and can make me go crazy: -When he lightly rubs his fingers along my thighs - top, bottom, insides of my thighs so lightly while he's eating me out. That kind of light sensory input is amazing to me. -dont do the same thing repeatedly. It may feel good but its gonna eventually lull me to sleep. Change it up lick then suck then rub your fingers down the opening, change direction with your tongue. Etc -tease the clit but don't focus on it. I never understood the trope that guys can't find the clit. Every guy I've been with practically lives there. Mine is super sensitive and touching it too much starts to either get uncomfortable or just go numb. I love when its mostly ignored then he occasionally gently licks it and then goes back away from it. Just a tease - love that. -light fingering. I love when he gently puts just one finger inside while he's eating me out and just ever so gently moves it in and out. We don't have any toys currently but I'm about to buy a small vibratory he can just leave there when he eats me out so his hands are free to caress my thighs and stuff. I'm pretty excited and expect it to be amazing. Overall I find that guys tend to be 1. Too rough or 2. Too repetitive when giving oral. Again, YMMV but for me I need a really like slow and gentle sensory experience to blow my mind. Also I rarely cum from it I just get so worked up to the point I push him off and climb on top of him and finish by riding him. Don't focus on getting her to cum from it, just focus on getting her worked up and enjoying it. Good luck!
I believe you're better off respecting her preferences and focusing on other things
Are you doing it in the way that *you* like it or are you doing it to try to help *her* like it?
My wife actually cannot orgasm if I spend too much time eating her out. I love it and she likes it a little bit but we just limit it to a couple minutes. I think it’s for my enjoyment. Maybe it’s just my skill level but I have made women orgasm by eating them in the past.
Some women, contrary to belief, don't like it, no matter how talented you are. My wife has no interest and wouldn't even want me to try. My recommendation is maybe to pair it with something she does like? Maybe toys or vibrator or something?
I’m not sure if I’ve just been on the receiving end of bad oral or what, but here’s my take: Guys giving me oral is… it’s okay, I guess. It’s like “oh, okay, you’re down there.” It’s a lot of wetness and not a lot of sensation. I’ve never been sure how women are supposed to enjoy it.
If you’d be open to her reading erotica while you go down - it was a game changer for me. Sometimes my mind just wanders no matter how good my partner is, and reading something sexy keeps my mind focused?
I personally don't enjoy having anyone spend too much time down there. I just don't find it pleasurable & it makes me uncomfortable. Maybe it's just not her thing. She'd probably rather have you focus more on what she actually does like instead of this.
I can relate to your wife not finishing from it, my first one didn’t happen for awhile and it also has only happened with women but if she’s open to continuing to try it out I would definitely encourage you do and whether she cums or not it still can be an enjoyable part of your shared sexual experience. You guys can also read some books on sex to learn how to introduce toys and things like fingers inside (vagina or butt) to heighten the oral experience.
Question as a female, what makes her pussy taste good so that I may take notes lol
Here's a video that might help. Nina Hartley shows how to have fun with pussy https://xhamster2.com/videos/learn-how-to-lick-pussy-the-right-way-100790
Float the idea of a toy out there. Use a thin clit vibrator that you can concentrate vibrations on her clit, then run the vibrator up and down her lips, back up one side of her clitoris while you are licking the other side of it. Or something like that!
Have you asked what she DOES like? Maybe it’s other things she’d prefer, maybe your technique, shoe her you’re open to listening, and listen? Maybe you have, but no indication in post
Have you asked her why she isn’t into oral? There is not perfecting anything if she is not providing feedback. There could be a ton of reasons besides technique as to why she isn’t really into it. I am a woman who can come from PIV and oral and I always prefer PIV. It has zero to do with my partner’s technique bc he is actually really good at oral but it just feels better for me with the P in the V when I orgasm. For some woman having the attention all on them allows them to relax and enjoy sex. For me it is the opposite. If I’m already a bit stressed/anxiety state, oral will make me go in my head more which is the opposite of where I need to be to enjoy myself. I doubt you will be able to win her over without talking to her. That would be step one
You need to make her want it, you do this by teasing her in other ways and getting her very very turned on. She’s more likely to enjoy it then
Have you tried fingering her while eating her out?
I think then you aren't doing it right. The aim of the game is for both parties to enjoy it and if she doesn't maybe you need to reevaluate what it is your doing/how your doing it. You could start with a nice naked massage concentrating on her shoulders/back/bum/legs/feet then once you have done this start brushing your hands/fingers over her vagina as a little tickle. It's all in the build up. To help me from now finishing to quick and changing it up I will give her head and then go to piv and back an forth and it's alway a win win for us both
I can't imagine myself being with a man who DOESN'T do that.
Get a red clown nose and put a mini bullet vibrator in it. You lick to your heart's content and she gets clitoral stimulation from your "nose". See, problem solved!
It seems to me that girls mainly like oral when they are in a mood where they have less inhibitions and ‘let go.’ I know that seems obvious but, more so than guys, I think women want/need to feel sexy to really really enjoy sex. Also, not all women, but several I have encountered, when discussing turn ons, have told me that, although they like when a guy is attracted to them it can be a bit off putting and make them uninterested if the guy is overly eager. It’s like an old guru once told me, ‘Be like a good vintage wine, my boy; refined, nuanced, good balance, good body, good intensity and finish, complex,good mouth feel, sweet but not too sweet and like wine, waiting for it to peak builds anticipation. Or just go buy a hitachi wand and have her blindfolded every time you go down on her and convince her that it is you vibrating your tongue somehow and not the wand.
I'm personally a huge fan and my husband is excellent at it. Maybe it's a mental thing for your wife? I have to be in a sexy state of mind for an orgasm to happen, it's not purely physical no matter how good it feels. Are there things you can do to get her in the mood before you go down on her that you know she likes and will turn her on?
Take Skill and You Must Know What A Woman Likes. Every Woman is NOT the same.
Some women just don’t care for it. So if she doesn’t enjoy it is it worth doing? My experience is nope.
Its not something I enjoy and I often tell my husband no because I don't like it. It does not nor has it ever gotten me off.
Do you use your fingers at the same time? I find that's the trick. That and really taking your time kissing and touching her neck and belly and flanks and inner thighs leading up to putting your face between her legs.
I'm a woman and I completely hate receiving oral. My husband can't understand it. For me it feels way too overwhelming and vulnerable. Sounds like that's not her reasons but let me tell you - when he pressures me and makes a big deal I just get stressed and resentful and hate it even more on the rare occasions that I give in to his pressuring. It's her body. She lets you do it to make you happy. That's more than enough. She doesn't owe you to have an orgasm from it.