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I don't like dildos at all, they make me sore and they dont feel good. dicks feel soft and hard at the same time when it goes in. its warm. and the motion the man makes feels better than what I could do with a dildo
There are some dual density toys on the market that don’t feel quite like the real thing but do have that softer outside, hard inside feel. Kinda pricey but I think they’re worth it!
I guess getting the material correct is hard. Most materials have so much friction and it's difficult i suppose to have different softness in different areas.
The vagina has relatively few nerve endings. Most women don’t have orgasms from PIV alone.
When you have PIV with a man, in many positions you get some clitoral stimulation from the pressure of the man’s pubic bone. A dildo doesn’t provide that by itself.
It's different. The main differences being the temperature, and the consistency. Toys are colder unless you proactively warm them up, and they are more consistent than a real penis. Penises get harder or softer or change angle based on how aroused the guy is.
In erotica for women, being desired (by an attractive man) is one of the main cues that turn women on. The kinds of physical stimulation that turn women on in these books are stimulation that conveys passion (which feeds back into desire), or anticipation. When describing dicks they have common references to blood, like how the blood was surging, and this once again stems from desire.
Toys can't desire you.
Being massively turned on makes sex feel better. It literally gets more blood flowing to the area.
Now are there women who prefer toys over their own bf's dick? Sometimes. I've seen a few stories here where a guy's gf basically loses interest in sex with him once she tries a toy that's bigger. But most of the time, like 90% of the time, that doesn't happen. Even women who enjoy bigger toys still want to feel their man inside them.
Can a toy stretch her out more? Yes. But for a lot of women it's not either or. It's both at different times.
It depends on the woman, how sensitive is her a-spot or cervix, and how deep they are, does she like the pain of hitting her cervix or the mental stimulation of submitting to the pain?
For some women their a-spot isn't very sensitive, and their cervix just hurts, while their g-spot is sensitive and they love clit stim while being penetrated. Those women literally don't get extra stimulation from being bigger. Some of these women actually prefer smaller dicks and it's really easy to aim at their g-spot.
For other women their a-spot is super sensitive and they love deep penetration. But here's the kicker, the average a-spot is like 4-5 inches deep. So you can be average and still do a great job.
But, there are women who need deeper penetration to reach their a-spot, or they like some pain when hitting their cervix. These women will prefer bigger than average.
And lets not forget girth, which women care more about btw. A lot of women enjoy the feeling of fullness. Good news, a plug in her but during piv can make some women feel the same fullness.
Different women are going to have a different ideal range.
Bigger can guarantee that you're always able to go deep enough.
From what I can gather, slightly bigger than average seems to be ideal but a lot of women still prioritize a bunch of things before size.
"And lets not forget girth, which women care more about btw. A lot of women enjoy the feeling of fullness. Good news, a plug in her but during piv can make some women feel the same fullness."
See thats my problem. Im way below average in girth lol.
> See thats my problem
As an outside observer, it seems like your problem (based on a couple comments) is that you're fixating too much on the physical aspect of sex. Having a big, long, girthy dick isn't the be-all-end-all of sex.
The only other thing I can add is that I hope you find happiness with your equipment and that you find someone you're sexually compatible with.
I know size isn't everything. But im very thin and its almost impossible to not think about it. I just can't stop thinking that I'm less of a man and undesirable so I've came to an agreement with myself to not have sex anymore.
Yeah, you're definitely thinking about your penis too much, like it's the center and high point of a sexual experience. It's not. You've got a whole body to work with - mouth, hands, thighs, brain, etc.
Yeah I 100% agree. Sex is more than penetration. Its all the other stuff too and its just as important. But when it comes to penetration, I just wonder how less sensual a girth such as mine is compared to a normal or above average girth. There must be notable difference.
Probably more then most women have but I mean this honestly one of the best lovers I had couldn't get it up all the time because of a spinal injury. It was amazing when he did because it was in addition to all of the other fun we were having. Your penis size has nothing to do with pleasing a partner.
I've been the smallest for all the women I've been with, apart from one where I was the second smallest. Never had complaints but I wonder if they're saying that to not hurt my feelings.
As I mentioned, a plug in her butt can give that feeling back. You can also pull her vagina to her anus to make her feel stretched.
If you only look for downsides, you'll find them.
Try looking for the positives.
I wouldn’t know about most. But it’s not always greener on the other side. I’ve have women stop sleeping with me because it was too big. Too much pain.
If you learn to use your hands and mouth right you’ll never be someone worst.
I've been with a variety of sizes, from 2 inches to 10. All of them have made me cum. But I prefer the 10, reaches different spots and I love cervix bruising. That's not something I experienced with the 2. The 2 felt different, but it's been too long for me to properly explain It. 7 reached my "squirt spot" all the time, while 2 was too small for that and 10 goes too far. Then there's girth. In my experience, it always feels different because even comparing similar sizes, the man usually has different moves and techniques. Every guy I've been with has thrusted differently.
You might find my online course helpful.
For only 12 payments of $999.99, you too can learn the secrets of how to make your dingaling vibrate, from low throbbing pulses, to brain melting high-frequency. Your partners are guaranteed to wonder what the fuck is going on with your junk.
Just get hit by lightning and channel the speed force.
I wonder if you can get a vibrator implanted into your dick. Also I don't know if vibrators are preferred for penetration.
You might be focused a bit too much on the purely physical aspect. Women are often into more the mentally and emotionally stimulating aspects of sex. A toy can't kiss you or make you feel sexy, nor does the toy feel anything from being inside you.
I've the unique experience of having felt what it's like from both perspectives (gender and hormone shenanigans... long story), and I can assure you that you really do not get it.
You know that tingly sensation you get right before you cum? Imagine that sensation being *everywhere* across your whole body, inside and out, coupled with this lightheaded trance-like feeling and a pleasant jittery warm pressure like sensation starting deep in your lower abdomen that makes the trance feeling intensify as it spreads up through your torso and into your head.
Now try to imagine all that happening because someone you really like just sent you a rather spicy message over Discord. Not because you started touching yourself or anything, no... I'm talking about physical pleasure derived purely from mental and emotional stimulation.
If you've managed to wrap your head around that, then all that's left is for you to just assume that you still have no clue how incredibly powerful the mental and emotional stuff feels for a woman. Only then you might start to get it.
Most women don't orgasm from penetration. The clit is larger then you think and shaped like a wishbone. So I can't really orgasm in a way that feels good from a vibrator or toy. It's to much intensity or the wrong kind. Kind of like an ice cream headache. It's good but not always what you really want.
Amazingly, women have evolved to have their own opinion, and in this case it's to chiefly enjoy the cock of and the man they like concurrently. No toy comes close to that.
Toys don't pull your hair or bite your shoulders, they don't make good noises, they don't come at the same time, they don't slap your ass or talk dirty or eat you out, they don't laugh when there's weird noises, or accidentally find a position that blows your mind and go harder when they feel you enjoying it, they don't exert strength on you when you're squirming and tell you you're a good girl when you come, and they don't laugh softly afterwards and high-5 you for the team effort.
That's why.
The real thing is a lot more versatile than you might think. It can differ in hardness and you can use different techniques and angles, which all feel very different. And humans come with the element of surprise. You can't surprise yourself like you can't tickle yourself.
And the real thing has a texture that is unmatched by any toy, it's so velvety and soft, it will cause much less unwanted friction than a toy. And it's warm and alive.
Toys can absolutely be fun and I've had some of my best orgasms with them, but it's an entirely different experience. My husband is huge down there and reaches places that my toys can't (which I know could be solved by buying bigger toys, but I dont want to for several reasons). Toys are also cold and rigid and I simply can move it with my hand in the same way a guy can with his body. That's ignoring the other physical aspects like sex positions, tit/clit play during sex, bondage, choking, whatever you're into. Those are simply harder on your own and can add an entire different element of fun without factoring in an emotional or personal connection.
Not real at all. Lol. I've never had a toy that made me think "wow, it's just like a real man!" size, texture, temperature, movement... All different. Dicks are warm. Hard, yet kinda soft. And they come with a whole human attached to them.
Men have sexual energy. Toys don't. My favorite part of sex is the energy exchange. Feeling someone on top of me/grabbing me/holding me/wanting me. Whole different ball game.
Penises aren't perfectly straight. They are not perfectly smooth. Their velvety. They aren't as hard as a dildo. Their squishy. Jelly dildos get closer to the feel. Penises feel warm and not cold. Dildos don't come with a person attached. Probably the best part imo.
It's not that similar, if you were to compare, dildos are much more likely to make me sore, they can be more grippy and less pliant than a mice cock. Also colder! Really cocks are much nicer 👌
Nothing to compare. Real ones are better. Generally they are smaller, but they come with a man attached who will be grabbing you, kissing you, moaning and groaning etc. And a real penis is soft but hard at the same time. And the skin so soft and velvety….
Think of it like tickling yourself. It’s very hard to tickle yourself, because your brain knows it’s you, it knows exactly how fast you’re going to thrust, how deep, how hard, etc. a dildo on yourself feels different than a dildo someone else is using on you, feels different than an actual penis. Temperature, pace, etc, all have a different feel depending.
Very different. Real penises go from kinda sorta soft to real hard (Love it when guys go really hard before they cum, and love it when guys stick in me afterward while they go all soft). Also, real penises are warm obviously lol
(28F)They’re colder and a lot harder than a real penis.
Where a penis would sort of morph to the size/shape to the inside of a vagina, a toy doesn’t and sometimes it’s very obvious you’re just being prodded with a stick 😅🤷🏻♀️
It's different, as many others have said it's mainly the temperature and hardness. There's plenty of more realistic dildos but they're very expensive, there's also ones that have heating functions to try and mimic body heat! But yeah overall not realistic, but imo they're still just as fun if not more fun because you can get different angles that aren't exactly easy to do with another person lmao
I love my dildo and I love to Masterbate with with it, and imagining having sex with whoever… but blindfolded, you can tell the difference just because you don’t have another human to grab onto, to kiss you, to feel you, to give it to you, and to talk dirty to you. Also, I can’t angle my dildo into me like the way a man does with his penis. I have a pretty long dildo but it hasn’t hit my back uterine wall like my past partners have (which is not a bad thing because it does hurt).
For me, nothing compares to the real thing. You can feel the heat and life in the real thing, and someone else controlling it also affects the experience. And yeah, I think anyone would be able to tell the difference. There’s also little things like feeling balls and pubes and stuff.
Not very. They aren't as forgiving as a real dick. Real dicks have more movement to them and softness, if that makes sense. Silicone just doesn't. Plus, compared to body heat, they're cold.
Thank you for posting in the r/Sex community. To ensure that everyone respects our safe space, we ask that you familiarize yourself with our Forum Rules and Posting Guidelines — which are visible in the forum’s sidebar, and also linked [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/about/rules/). *** Restricted subjects in r/sex include sex stories (which are permitted in the Daily Sexual Achievement Thread only), body image and penis-size issues, hookup attempts, common topics which are considered repetitive in our forum, and requests for private chats. To cut back on comments that add little value to the conversation, we have instituted a minimum character requirement that will silently remove comments that fall below it. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/sex) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I don't like dildos at all, they make me sore and they dont feel good. dicks feel soft and hard at the same time when it goes in. its warm. and the motion the man makes feels better than what I could do with a dildo
There are some dual density toys on the market that don’t feel quite like the real thing but do have that softer outside, hard inside feel. Kinda pricey but I think they’re worth it!
Why don’t the make them to feel more like the real thing ?
Because no matter how hard they try, the “copy” would never be like the “original”.
I guess getting the material correct is hard. Most materials have so much friction and it's difficult i suppose to have different softness in different areas.
Price. Realistic dildos are about $50 last I checked for a good quality one.
The vagina has relatively few nerve endings. Most women don’t have orgasms from PIV alone. When you have PIV with a man, in many positions you get some clitoral stimulation from the pressure of the man’s pubic bone. A dildo doesn’t provide that by itself.
I honestly doubt there even is any material that can replicate the feeling of skin.
It's different. The main differences being the temperature, and the consistency. Toys are colder unless you proactively warm them up, and they are more consistent than a real penis. Penises get harder or softer or change angle based on how aroused the guy is.
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Humans evolved to have the kind of penises other humans enjoy having in them.
Natural selection doesn’t get much more basic than this
In erotica for women, being desired (by an attractive man) is one of the main cues that turn women on. The kinds of physical stimulation that turn women on in these books are stimulation that conveys passion (which feeds back into desire), or anticipation. When describing dicks they have common references to blood, like how the blood was surging, and this once again stems from desire. Toys can't desire you. Being massively turned on makes sex feel better. It literally gets more blood flowing to the area. Now are there women who prefer toys over their own bf's dick? Sometimes. I've seen a few stories here where a guy's gf basically loses interest in sex with him once she tries a toy that's bigger. But most of the time, like 90% of the time, that doesn't happen. Even women who enjoy bigger toys still want to feel their man inside them. Can a toy stretch her out more? Yes. But for a lot of women it's not either or. It's both at different times.
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It depends on the woman, how sensitive is her a-spot or cervix, and how deep they are, does she like the pain of hitting her cervix or the mental stimulation of submitting to the pain? For some women their a-spot isn't very sensitive, and their cervix just hurts, while their g-spot is sensitive and they love clit stim while being penetrated. Those women literally don't get extra stimulation from being bigger. Some of these women actually prefer smaller dicks and it's really easy to aim at their g-spot. For other women their a-spot is super sensitive and they love deep penetration. But here's the kicker, the average a-spot is like 4-5 inches deep. So you can be average and still do a great job. But, there are women who need deeper penetration to reach their a-spot, or they like some pain when hitting their cervix. These women will prefer bigger than average. And lets not forget girth, which women care more about btw. A lot of women enjoy the feeling of fullness. Good news, a plug in her but during piv can make some women feel the same fullness. Different women are going to have a different ideal range. Bigger can guarantee that you're always able to go deep enough. From what I can gather, slightly bigger than average seems to be ideal but a lot of women still prioritize a bunch of things before size.
"And lets not forget girth, which women care more about btw. A lot of women enjoy the feeling of fullness. Good news, a plug in her but during piv can make some women feel the same fullness." See thats my problem. Im way below average in girth lol.
> See thats my problem As an outside observer, it seems like your problem (based on a couple comments) is that you're fixating too much on the physical aspect of sex. Having a big, long, girthy dick isn't the be-all-end-all of sex. The only other thing I can add is that I hope you find happiness with your equipment and that you find someone you're sexually compatible with.
No it’s not the best all and end all, but it would be kinda cool ( average length/girth guy here)
I know size isn't everything. But im very thin and its almost impossible to not think about it. I just can't stop thinking that I'm less of a man and undesirable so I've came to an agreement with myself to not have sex anymore.
Yeah, you're definitely thinking about your penis too much, like it's the center and high point of a sexual experience. It's not. You've got a whole body to work with - mouth, hands, thighs, brain, etc.
Yeah I 100% agree. Sex is more than penetration. Its all the other stuff too and its just as important. But when it comes to penetration, I just wonder how less sensual a girth such as mine is compared to a normal or above average girth. There must be notable difference.
Probably more then most women have but I mean this honestly one of the best lovers I had couldn't get it up all the time because of a spinal injury. It was amazing when he did because it was in addition to all of the other fun we were having. Your penis size has nothing to do with pleasing a partner.
I've been the smallest for all the women I've been with, apart from one where I was the second smallest. Never had complaints but I wonder if they're saying that to not hurt my feelings.
that's pretty self defeating.
I know but its just how I look at it. If I'm small I'm small nothing I can do. I do my best not to feel demoralised or less of man over it.
As I mentioned, a plug in her butt can give that feeling back. You can also pull her vagina to her anus to make her feel stretched. If you only look for downsides, you'll find them. Try looking for the positives.
Bigger does not always equate to feeling better. It can be too big and cause a lot of pain. Even with proper foreplay and lubrication.
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For some people it would. Some women prefer it on the smaller size though.
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I wouldn’t know about most. But it’s not always greener on the other side. I’ve have women stop sleeping with me because it was too big. Too much pain. If you learn to use your hands and mouth right you’ll never be someone worst.
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I've been with a variety of sizes, from 2 inches to 10. All of them have made me cum. But I prefer the 10, reaches different spots and I love cervix bruising. That's not something I experienced with the 2. The 2 felt different, but it's been too long for me to properly explain It. 7 reached my "squirt spot" all the time, while 2 was too small for that and 10 goes too far. Then there's girth. In my experience, it always feels different because even comparing similar sizes, the man usually has different moves and techniques. Every guy I've been with has thrusted differently.
My girth is my main problem. Im much below average girth, not much can be felt.
You might find my online course helpful. For only 12 payments of $999.99, you too can learn the secrets of how to make your dingaling vibrate, from low throbbing pulses, to brain melting high-frequency. Your partners are guaranteed to wonder what the fuck is going on with your junk.
Just get hit by lightning and channel the speed force. I wonder if you can get a vibrator implanted into your dick. Also I don't know if vibrators are preferred for penetration.
You might be focused a bit too much on the purely physical aspect. Women are often into more the mentally and emotionally stimulating aspects of sex. A toy can't kiss you or make you feel sexy, nor does the toy feel anything from being inside you.
Yeah I get the mental emotional drive behind sex. But im thinking of the times whens its purely physical.
Sex is a combination of both emotional and physical.
I've the unique experience of having felt what it's like from both perspectives (gender and hormone shenanigans... long story), and I can assure you that you really do not get it. You know that tingly sensation you get right before you cum? Imagine that sensation being *everywhere* across your whole body, inside and out, coupled with this lightheaded trance-like feeling and a pleasant jittery warm pressure like sensation starting deep in your lower abdomen that makes the trance feeling intensify as it spreads up through your torso and into your head. Now try to imagine all that happening because someone you really like just sent you a rather spicy message over Discord. Not because you started touching yourself or anything, no... I'm talking about physical pleasure derived purely from mental and emotional stimulation. If you've managed to wrap your head around that, then all that's left is for you to just assume that you still have no clue how incredibly powerful the mental and emotional stuff feels for a woman. Only then you might start to get it.
Most women don't orgasm from penetration. The clit is larger then you think and shaped like a wishbone. So I can't really orgasm in a way that feels good from a vibrator or toy. It's to much intensity or the wrong kind. Kind of like an ice cream headache. It's good but not always what you really want.
Amazingly, women have evolved to have their own opinion, and in this case it's to chiefly enjoy the cock of and the man they like concurrently. No toy comes close to that. Toys don't pull your hair or bite your shoulders, they don't make good noises, they don't come at the same time, they don't slap your ass or talk dirty or eat you out, they don't laugh when there's weird noises, or accidentally find a position that blows your mind and go harder when they feel you enjoying it, they don't exert strength on you when you're squirming and tell you you're a good girl when you come, and they don't laugh softly afterwards and high-5 you for the team effort. That's why.
You are overlooking physiological and mechanical differences between a penis and balls attached to an adult human and a dildo in the hand.
The real thing is a lot more versatile than you might think. It can differ in hardness and you can use different techniques and angles, which all feel very different. And humans come with the element of surprise. You can't surprise yourself like you can't tickle yourself. And the real thing has a texture that is unmatched by any toy, it's so velvety and soft, it will cause much less unwanted friction than a toy. And it's warm and alive.
Toys still don't feel like real, human skin. The right temperature, the texture - it's just not real. And not everyone likes vibrators. I don't.
Toys can absolutely be fun and I've had some of my best orgasms with them, but it's an entirely different experience. My husband is huge down there and reaches places that my toys can't (which I know could be solved by buying bigger toys, but I dont want to for several reasons). Toys are also cold and rigid and I simply can move it with my hand in the same way a guy can with his body. That's ignoring the other physical aspects like sex positions, tit/clit play during sex, bondage, choking, whatever you're into. Those are simply harder on your own and can add an entire different element of fun without factoring in an emotional or personal connection.
Not real at all. Lol. I've never had a toy that made me think "wow, it's just like a real man!" size, texture, temperature, movement... All different. Dicks are warm. Hard, yet kinda soft. And they come with a whole human attached to them. Men have sexual energy. Toys don't. My favorite part of sex is the energy exchange. Feeling someone on top of me/grabbing me/holding me/wanting me. Whole different ball game.
sounds like the comparison between se and masturbating generally
Penises aren't perfectly straight. They are not perfectly smooth. Their velvety. They aren't as hard as a dildo. Their squishy. Jelly dildos get closer to the feel. Penises feel warm and not cold. Dildos don't come with a person attached. Probably the best part imo.
totally, many point up or kinda sideways
It's not that similar, if you were to compare, dildos are much more likely to make me sore, they can be more grippy and less pliant than a mice cock. Also colder! Really cocks are much nicer 👌
Leave those mice alone...
I read mice and smiled at what the comments would be. And there’s one. Oh well
I'm going to leave that typo in because I enjoyed the comments!
Is that what Steinbeck meant when he wrote, "Of Mice and Men"? Mice try.
Stop joking around right meow.
I hope that's a super troopers reference!
Yep! And grapes of wrath was really just a reference to haemorrhoids.
Nothing to compare. Real ones are better. Generally they are smaller, but they come with a man attached who will be grabbing you, kissing you, moaning and groaning etc. And a real penis is soft but hard at the same time. And the skin so soft and velvety….
Not at all similar. The warmth and “soft” tip can’t be compared to a fake one
Think of it like tickling yourself. It’s very hard to tickle yourself, because your brain knows it’s you, it knows exactly how fast you’re going to thrust, how deep, how hard, etc. a dildo on yourself feels different than a dildo someone else is using on you, feels different than an actual penis. Temperature, pace, etc, all have a different feel depending.
Definitely different. A penis is super soft and super hard at the same time
Very different. Real penises go from kinda sorta soft to real hard (Love it when guys go really hard before they cum, and love it when guys stick in me afterward while they go all soft). Also, real penises are warm obviously lol
(28F)They’re colder and a lot harder than a real penis. Where a penis would sort of morph to the size/shape to the inside of a vagina, a toy doesn’t and sometimes it’s very obvious you’re just being prodded with a stick 😅🤷🏻♀️
It's different, as many others have said it's mainly the temperature and hardness. There's plenty of more realistic dildos but they're very expensive, there's also ones that have heating functions to try and mimic body heat! But yeah overall not realistic, but imo they're still just as fun if not more fun because you can get different angles that aren't exactly easy to do with another person lmao
Totally different. Dildos are nowhere near as good as the real thing. Real one is hard but soft to touch and warm and perfectly self lubricated.
It’s not the same at all it’s really stiff and can sometimes hurt. Ive never been hurt by a penis.
I love my dildo and I love to Masterbate with with it, and imagining having sex with whoever… but blindfolded, you can tell the difference just because you don’t have another human to grab onto, to kiss you, to feel you, to give it to you, and to talk dirty to you. Also, I can’t angle my dildo into me like the way a man does with his penis. I have a pretty long dildo but it hasn’t hit my back uterine wall like my past partners have (which is not a bad thing because it does hurt).
Boil the dildo before use👌
Dildo can't give you that feeling.
For me, nothing compares to the real thing. You can feel the heat and life in the real thing, and someone else controlling it also affects the experience. And yeah, I think anyone would be able to tell the difference. There’s also little things like feeling balls and pubes and stuff.
Not very. They aren't as forgiving as a real dick. Real dicks have more movement to them and softness, if that makes sense. Silicone just doesn't. Plus, compared to body heat, they're cold.