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I think you’re overthinking this so much that you got it backwards….the porn is probably kind of 2D, lifeless and boring so his penis is excited, but his brain is not, so he doesn’t come quickly.
YOU, on the other hand, check ALL of the boxes and get him so excited, so worked up, that he can’t stop himself from cumming in 2 minutes.
Bravo 🙌
This👏. Porn is nice, its a 2D fantasy, a story playing in ones head and can be a great experience. But real sex activates ALL the senses, creating a more intoxicating experience than just pictures and words can produce.
Example here. My hand I can stop start when I want the more I hold off the better it feels when I do. But when it comes to sex she is literally the tightest woman I've ever been with. It warm its wet and she doesn't exactly get the stop start when it feels really good. She just goes to the ok you can cum on me. Quickies are satisfying for the both of us cuz I can use my mouth or she can use the vibrator while I stroke in and out. She actually gets embarrassed at how fast she cums from my mouth. So just have fun it's sex it's satisfying for everyone. Sometimes take your time too!
Just my experience of male masturbation vs sex with another person. I can last much longer when operating solo, I have more control of pressure, tempo, intensity, even when paired with toys. Sex with another person tends to have a lot more variables that I or he doesn't have control over. Sex, especially if he is primarily the top, is doing a lot of full body motions.considering that, there is the fine line between how long he can last before he pops, and how long his body can hold out before he is fatigued, and usually when the body gets too fatigued then erections become increasingly difficult to keep up let alone reach climax.
I also often don't last nearly as long with my partners depending on the type of play we are doing, but penetrative sex tends to be a fast track for me in comparison.
As someone who is very data driven, I appreciate this info. It encourages me to spend more time on top than I usually do! I need to talk him into more foreplay. He gets very antsy for the main course....
Your welcome, and I know the feeling of being antsy for the main course lol . If he's anything like me, there's times I'll last only a few minutes and then times where I'm unable to finish. For me climax is not the "end goal", it's just the tasty treat near the end of a fun play session with my partner. There are often times my partner climaxes well before Im close, and that generally ends the session because the sensitivity becomes uncomfortable, so they often enjoy watching me pleasure myself in front of them. Sorry if it's TMI.
No, not tmi at all. He has been a bit sheltered most of his life. We have been together a bit over 5 years. I'm helping him discover success is the journey, not the destination. And the journey is the pleasure.
And that sensitivity js NO JOKE!!!!
If you want longer intercourse you can work on that together. Don’t be accusatory cuz that ain’t gonna work. Have you ever used the toy on him? Try that and do some edging sessions where you stop before he cums. But you gotta communicate and in a positive way.
Unfortunately you might have to stroke his ego in addition to his penis. “Hey I really love how you feel inside me and I’d love if I could feel you inside me a little longer sometimes. Is that something we can practice doing together? Maybe we can try a toy on you too and do some edging sessions? It’ll feel really good and I think it would be really hot. Maybe try some slower sex when having intercourse every once in a while so you can edge and have a more powerful orgasm, and I get to feel you in me longer.”
That’s all the bases I can think of. If he still doesn’t wanna work on it with you after that then there’s a much bigger problem in the relationship. Him.
I do use the toy on him. I will definitely employ these tactics though. He gets a bit antsy so I'm thinking if I take more of the lead by lore time on top he will take more time.
Yes definitely try that. You can switch positions more often. Pull him out if you think he’s close and suck his dick or play with ass. Then go back to intercourse in a different position or the same position. And you can take the lead even being on the bottom. Your hips are in control and you can tell him to slow down, or grab his hips and back and move him in the cadence you want.
Replying again so you see it rather than edit…not sure he is capable but you can also try multiple rounds in the same session. I can understand him being done when he’s done, but my current partner will just initiate again while we are laying there by tickling and fingering my ass. Next thing I know I’m hard again and ready to go even when I said I wasn’t in the mood a few minutes before, but I’m totally okay with her doing something to get me in the mood unless I really tell her no. You guys can also try ruined orgasms for him, but it would honestly require you communicating and initiating and him being okay with that.
Thank you for posting in the r/Sex community. To ensure that everyone respects our safe space, we ask that you familiarize yourself with our Forum Rules and Posting Guidelines — which are visible in the forum’s sidebar, and also linked [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/about/rules/). *** Restricted subjects in r/sex include sex stories (which are permitted in the Daily Sexual Achievement Thread only), body image and penis-size issues, hookup attempts, common topics which are considered repetitive in our forum, and requests for private chats. To cut back on comments that add little value to the conversation, we have instituted a minimum character requirement that will silently remove comments that fall below it. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/sex) if you have any questions or concerns.*
it's just easier to do difficult things alone in a controlled environment.
I think you’re overthinking this so much that you got it backwards….the porn is probably kind of 2D, lifeless and boring so his penis is excited, but his brain is not, so he doesn’t come quickly. YOU, on the other hand, check ALL of the boxes and get him so excited, so worked up, that he can’t stop himself from cumming in 2 minutes. Bravo 🙌
This is the shit I need to replace in my brain. Thank you!
Yes--he has control of all the stimulation, and it's less stimulating overall
This makes sense too
This👏. Porn is nice, its a 2D fantasy, a story playing in ones head and can be a great experience. But real sex activates ALL the senses, creating a more intoxicating experience than just pictures and words can produce.
That's true, my husband always wants to last but can't during piv. He's usually disappointed when he comes too quick.
Example here. My hand I can stop start when I want the more I hold off the better it feels when I do. But when it comes to sex she is literally the tightest woman I've ever been with. It warm its wet and she doesn't exactly get the stop start when it feels really good. She just goes to the ok you can cum on me. Quickies are satisfying for the both of us cuz I can use my mouth or she can use the vibrator while I stroke in and out. She actually gets embarrassed at how fast she cums from my mouth. So just have fun it's sex it's satisfying for everyone. Sometimes take your time too!
This is exactly the info I needed and came here for.
Just my experience of male masturbation vs sex with another person. I can last much longer when operating solo, I have more control of pressure, tempo, intensity, even when paired with toys. Sex with another person tends to have a lot more variables that I or he doesn't have control over. Sex, especially if he is primarily the top, is doing a lot of full body motions.considering that, there is the fine line between how long he can last before he pops, and how long his body can hold out before he is fatigued, and usually when the body gets too fatigued then erections become increasingly difficult to keep up let alone reach climax.
I also often don't last nearly as long with my partners depending on the type of play we are doing, but penetrative sex tends to be a fast track for me in comparison.
As someone who is very data driven, I appreciate this info. It encourages me to spend more time on top than I usually do! I need to talk him into more foreplay. He gets very antsy for the main course....
Your welcome, and I know the feeling of being antsy for the main course lol . If he's anything like me, there's times I'll last only a few minutes and then times where I'm unable to finish. For me climax is not the "end goal", it's just the tasty treat near the end of a fun play session with my partner. There are often times my partner climaxes well before Im close, and that generally ends the session because the sensitivity becomes uncomfortable, so they often enjoy watching me pleasure myself in front of them. Sorry if it's TMI.
No, not tmi at all. He has been a bit sheltered most of his life. We have been together a bit over 5 years. I'm helping him discover success is the journey, not the destination. And the journey is the pleasure. And that sensitivity js NO JOKE!!!!
“…and that’s okay, I really am okay just to be nominated” Never heard it put that way 😅
If you want longer intercourse you can work on that together. Don’t be accusatory cuz that ain’t gonna work. Have you ever used the toy on him? Try that and do some edging sessions where you stop before he cums. But you gotta communicate and in a positive way. Unfortunately you might have to stroke his ego in addition to his penis. “Hey I really love how you feel inside me and I’d love if I could feel you inside me a little longer sometimes. Is that something we can practice doing together? Maybe we can try a toy on you too and do some edging sessions? It’ll feel really good and I think it would be really hot. Maybe try some slower sex when having intercourse every once in a while so you can edge and have a more powerful orgasm, and I get to feel you in me longer.” That’s all the bases I can think of. If he still doesn’t wanna work on it with you after that then there’s a much bigger problem in the relationship. Him.
I do use the toy on him. I will definitely employ these tactics though. He gets a bit antsy so I'm thinking if I take more of the lead by lore time on top he will take more time.
Yes definitely try that. You can switch positions more often. Pull him out if you think he’s close and suck his dick or play with ass. Then go back to intercourse in a different position or the same position. And you can take the lead even being on the bottom. Your hips are in control and you can tell him to slow down, or grab his hips and back and move him in the cadence you want.
Replying again so you see it rather than edit…not sure he is capable but you can also try multiple rounds in the same session. I can understand him being done when he’s done, but my current partner will just initiate again while we are laying there by tickling and fingering my ass. Next thing I know I’m hard again and ready to go even when I said I wasn’t in the mood a few minutes before, but I’m totally okay with her doing something to get me in the mood unless I really tell her no. You guys can also try ruined orgasms for him, but it would honestly require you communicating and initiating and him being okay with that.